Bonnie's Revelation
by jomo2014
Summary: Seventeen years after Wishmaster's Vengeance, Finn is living a nice, happy life with his Ice Queen and Huntress, raising son, Billy, and daughters Fionna and Star. The Candy Kingdom is reveling in peace and prosperity when a face from Finn's past brings chaos to his world. Can Finn save the Candy Kingdom from the consequences of Princess Bubblegum's mistakes? Rated M for Lemons
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

Shoko slipped down the rope with all the care and precision that Finn had taught her years ago. The slim candy-person dropped to the ground with an airy grace that reminded the Captain of the Guard of her mother. She was of a body-type with Bonnibel Bubblegum–tall and slender, though with yellowish hair instead of pink, and just starting to develop the round bubble-butt her mother sported. Finn had no idea who her father was, but he half suspected Bonnie had mixed her up in the lab somehow and 'gotten pregnant' with her.

And Finn? He loved her like she was his own kid. He'd all but raised her. When Bonnie was too busy with affairs of state, Finn did his best to teach her the finer points of being a person. When the bully at school dared to threaten her, he taught her how to ably defend herself without resorting to calling out the Banana Guards. And now he had another lesson to impart.

As the pretty princess came sneaking across the lawn to the door of her room, Finn stepped out of the shadows. Immediately Shoko threw a ninja-kick, which Finn deftly countered. Grabbing her by her ankle, he hoisted her aloft, causing her dress to slide up. Embarrassed that somebody was seeing her panties, Shoko struggled to hold her dress in place against the tug of gravity. " _Shorts_ , Shoko," announced Finn. "If you're going to be active wearing a dress, put on some _shorts_ for Globsake."

The mortified princess stared at the Captain of the guard in horror when he let her down. It was bad enough the idea that a stranger was peeping her bod. The idea that her mom's guard-captain got to see her?! *Shudder* "W-what're you doing out here," demanded the princess? "Keeping _you_ out of trouble," retorted Finn. Shoko blushed. She was caught. Lieing and bluffing wasn't going to do any good. Finn's word was law when it came to the Heirs. Sometimes even Princess Bonnibel herself got overruled–much to Shoko's chagrin.

Taking her by the arm, he steered her inside her quarters and shut the patio door. He'd lobbied Bonnie to let her have a room on the ground floor. He knew the risks, just as he knew why it was that it was suddenly so important for Shoko to have access to the patio. He'd lobbied and won. Shoko hadn't disappointed on one score. She'd done just what he expected–slipping off to have adventures in town. He honestly _wanted_ her to have that. It was an important part of growing up. Kids needed to learn to push the boundaries. They needed to test themselves to see just how far they could go, and they needed to feel like there was no safety net so they learned to be safe.

Finn couldn't let Shoko go out and experience the world the way his daughters did, but he was giving her what he could. She was almost old enough that he thought he might twist Bonnie's arm to let the young woman go out with his kids the way her older brother sometimes did. There had been fireworks when he brought the matter up on her son's behalf. Bonnie had ranted and raved for over an hour. Finn won in the end, but it had cost him a lot, and Bonnie had spent over a month not speaking to him. Still, he would have dared her wrath for Shoko. He loved his little princess. Just now, though, with the Candy Kingdom experiencing a little bit of unrest, he had to rein in the Princess's daughter.

Seeing she was caught, Shoko just went around behind the screen and got out of her dress. As she pulled on her nightgown, Finn waited patiently. "How did you know I was sneaking out," asked Shoko? Finn chuckled, "I knew what you were planning when you asked for this room." That news stunned Shoko. She'd thought she was so clever. Seeming to guess where her thoughts were going, Finn laughed, "hey, man, I was a kid once too." Which was to say she wasn't doing anything he hadn't already thought of.

The beautiful young girl came out to find the handsome guard-captain sitting there staring at the wall. He always did that. He never looked, never did anything that was in any way untoward. Part of her was glad. She was still in that stage where this was all new to her. She knew she was pretty. Everybody said she was, and she never lacked for admirers at school. Still, part of her wondered. Did the studly captain of the guard, who kept two wives (and some said a heap of mistresses too), find her pretty? She was curious.

Strolling around in front of him, she said, "well, you waited out there for me. Why?" Since he seemed to have expected her to slip out, he could have just been waiting for her when she was going out. He could have caught her over a dozen times! At those words, Finn finally looked at her. She was growing up, was his little princess. She would be a heart-breaker like her mother someday. He just hoped that wasn't going to be literal. Bonnie had literally built a robot to satisfy a too-persistent suitor. She had just never been interested in having a man. Finn hoped Shoko would be able to balance her life better.

Shoko found herself fidgeting under his gaze. The nightgown was opaque. Her mother wasn't going to let her have anything sexy for another six years or so. She _did_ have something sexy. She'd snuck down to Ms. Lollipop's shop and bought a nighty to wear with her boyfriend, for when she managed to land one. That was hidden under a secret panel in the bottom of her wardrobe. At the same time, she knew the nightgown she was wearing did reveal some of her body to Captain Finn. Did he find her pretty?

"So who's your boyfriend," asked the Captain? Shoko blushed to her long, golden hair. "I-I," stammered the young heir. Rising, Finn hugged her and said, "be careful, princess. Marshall's kind of a rogue, and he can be a butt sometimes. He's a lot like his mom. He can be caring, but he's literally got demon in him..." Shoko was a little startled by his words but unsurprised that he knew about her activities. "You don't approve," she murmured. His blue eyes gazed into hers steadily. "It's not my place to approve or disapprove," said Finn. "I'm... just warning you of the consequences. Some things can't be undone." "Like me getting pregnant," sighed the teen. Finn nodded. He thought the message was received.

Smiling, Finn hugged the young woman again, holding her tightly. Standing there, rocking with her, he was conscious of her budding sexuality. It was something he'd become aware of when his two daughters began to grow into women. "You're fifteen," said Finn. "He's sixteen. You're close, but he's got demon in him, Shoko. He's going to be much more mature than you. Don't let him rush you into something you'll regret. If he wants you, he needs to grow up and be a man, ok?" "Yes, Captain," sighed Shoko.

Finn let her go. Turning for the door, he said, "no more sneaking over the walls. If you want to go out, it'll be with a guard. The streets aren't safe right now." "Yes, Captain," sighed Shoko. Finn grasped the knob and turned it. Shoko murmured, "and Captain?" "Yeah, Shoko," he replied. "Thanks for caring about me," she sighed. "No prob, bob," said Finn, as he slipped out.

Shoko sighed. Growing up, she had sometimes wished he was her dad. She could see how much her mother cared about him–and conversely how much Finn cared about her. Rumors told that Finn had resolutely chased Shoko's mom for years until finally giving up and getting hitched to Simone and Emeraude. Shoko had teased Fionna and Star, pointing out that it took _both_ their moms to equal hers. Deep down, though, she harbored a secret pain. Star and Fionna had a mom and dad. Hell, they had _two_ moms–though that was sometimes more of a pain than a pleasure when Simone and Emeraude strove to outdo each other in disciplining the kids. Shoko wished that Finn was _her_ dad. She loved her two best friends, but she wanted their dad for herself.

Finn headed out of the palace into the cool night air. Bonnie was working late again in her lab. You might not even have guessed she _had_ children considering what she chose to spend her time on. That aspect of her life had never changed. Getting her to let go of work even for five minutes was a chore–one that Finn had long ago given up on. Just as he'd told Braco, loving Bonnie was a road that led nowhere. Shaking off the regrets and focusing on his own life, Finn turned and headed for the gates.

He was late getting home. He'd missed dinner with his family, something he _despised_. Unlike his dad and his brother, he did his best not to be absentee, even taking the time out to go home in the evenings even if it meant he had to come back out again in the middle of the night. It put a rather severe cramp in his sex life. Simone and Emeraude had both complained to him that he needed to pay more attention to them, and Finn had done his best to turn over a new leaf.

Unfortunately he'd had to disappoint Simone tonight. With Emeraude gone to Wizard City on business, she had him all to herself for a change, and she'd looked rather frisky when he left this morning. He'd called and canceled date-night after learning that there was trouble loose in the Kingdom in favor of keeping Bonnie's daughter safe. Honestly though, he'd needed to have that talk with Shoko anyway. Even beyond the risk of her getting hurt with the turmoil and unrest in the Kingdom, he needed to prepare her for what dating was going to be like. He didn't want his precious princess being taken advantage of, and though he loved Marceline's son as if Marshall was his boy, he feared the young man was straying into darkness.

Arriving home, feeling exhausted, he found Simone had laid out candles and put together a wonderful date-night feast. It was supposed to be sexy and fun. Their son, Billy, was working tonight and Fionna, their daughter, was off adventuring. Star, his child with Emeraude, was supposed to be at a sleepover with friends. They would have been alone. Instead work had intruded. Shrugging off his jacket, hanging up his sword, and exchanging muddy boots for slippers, Finn headed upstairs. Arriving in the bedroom he, Simone, and Emeraude shared, he found his wife sound asleep in their bed. At least he thought she was.

Finn came in, sat down on the edge of the bed, and started shedding his clothes. Halfway through, Simone sat up behind him and scooted over to the edge of the bed. Wrapping her long legs around him from behind, she lay her head on his shoulder, draping her long, white hair over him. "Did she listen, honey," asked Simone? There was concern in her voice, and Finn realized that Simone was concerned about Shoko's late-night activities too. "Yeah, babe," sighed Finn. "I think she did." Nodding, Simone said, "lay down, honey. You're all tensed up."

She insisted on having him on his belly, and then she straddled his thighs and began to massage his aching back. Her hands were strong from hours of martial arts training and even more hours of scrubbing floors and hauling buckets of water, and she began to drive the aches out of his abused muscles. It hadn't been a good day to start with, what with the riot at the train station in Candy-Town and the reports that the Prophet James was trying to raise trouble out in Butterscotch City. Learning that Shoko had been seen in several over-eighteen clubs with Marshall Lee had been the topper for a perfectly miserable day. "Oooh," sighed Simone. "You're all knotted up!" Finn nodded.

Rising, Simone went into the bath and came back with a couple of heated towels. She came back and applied the hot compresses to his aching shoulders as she continued to massage his aching back. As the heat soaked into his sore and knotted muscles, Finn remembered that today he was taking the day off to do some work on the tree-house. They needed a bigger hot-water tank because his two girls were using up all the water in the mornings. He'd get to spend time with Simone today, but not in the way he wanted. He was doing everything he could, but there just never seemed to be enough hours in the day.

Seeming to guess where his mind was going, Simone told him, "the kids are getting old enough to be on their own, honey. We won't have to live our lives for them too much longer." Finn nodded. Slowly his muscles relaxed, as the beautiful woman applied hot towels and her magic massage techniques to his battered body. She was a little disappointed too that they hadn't gotten to enjoy themselves tonight. At the same time, she was just happy to have him home. She worried about him sometimes when he was out late at night.

Finn's soft snoring told her he was asleep. He had been a mess, and that somewhat told her how the day had gone. Cleaning up the towels, Simone came back and drew the covers up on her husband before slipping into bed beside him. Cuddling up next to him, she put her head against his neck and drifted off.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

The pretty blonde was excited about the day and happy to be alive. With anybody else, that probably would have been related to the harrowing fight they'd had in the City of Crystal Fiends. They'd had a series of running battles with the evil denizens of the place, and they all had their share of scratches and scrapes. Anybody else wasn't Fionna Mertens, though. The pretty blonde couldn't stop talking about the score she'd run up. She couldn't stop reminding their wizard, Patrick, about how many more monsters she'd bashed than he'd been able to blast. Tall and athletic like her dad, Fionna was the quintessential tomboy.

It was ironic in a way. Patrick's dad had _invented_ Fionna's namesake. He'd created a pretty blonde character in his fanfic to assuage his loneliness and given her all the qualities that his almost-bud had. At the time, Finn was just about the only person willing to put up with Simon Petrikov while he was the Ice-King. The Ice-King's Fionna was brash and reckless, with an endless supply of energy. And Patrick's real-life Fionna was every bit as brash and reckless.

Walking along with her pack slung carelessly over her shoulder, the buxom blonde wore her trademark bunny-hat with its long ears, and she carried one of her father's swords in a negligent grip. In the other hand, she half-carried/half-drug a sack full of the junk she'd picked up in the City. It had been a lucrative trip all told. Boniface 'Bubba' Bubblegum had gotten the readings he wanted. Now he could finish his experiment. Fionna had gotten a pile of trophies and trinkets that she could sell next weekend on market day, and Patrick had his spell-focus.

Arriving at the place they'd left their tents and camping gear, Fionna slung the sack with her junk into the back of Bubba's truck chasing it with her pack. Then, as Bubba futzed around with his logbook and one of his innumerable gadgets, the stacked blonde bustled around the camp, setting up the campfire so Bubba could make up dinner. No matter how many times Patrick suggested that he could just light up the fire with a little lightning, Fi insisted on doing it the hard way, reminding him needlessly that she had to maintain her adventuring cred. That was of the utmost importance to her. She wanted to be just like her dad. Today, Patrick skipped the argument in favor of packing his own gear onto the truck and getting ready to eat dinner.

When Fionna had the fire going, the young candy-person put aside his endless scientific ruminations and started up supper. Bubba was the best cook in the Kingdom, bar none. Patrick knew his mother would have been hurt to hear him say that, but it was true. Betty Petrikov's cooking didn't hold a candle to Bubba's. Patrick didn't know if it was scientific or something else, but the young heir had a way of whipping up a meat-pie or even just a cookie that made it taste like a slice of heaven.

"It looks like these have been marinading long enough," announced the boy-prince as he brought out the steaks that he'd brought along. Bubba always brought the food. It was much better to go adventuring with Bubba than Fi. Fi would have brought a sack full of jerky, and that would have been that. She would even have insisted that they eat down in the ruins instead of coming back up to eat in peace.

Both of the prince's friends watched like starving dogs, following his every move with their eyes–something that endlessly amused him. He was almost certain he could have hypnotized Fionna if he only tried, so closely did the pretty blond observe him. It was a pity he couldn't get her that interested in science. She had the mind for it, but not the patience. Restless to a fault, she just drifted off whenever he tried.

Bubba had put his special honey-berry glaze on the steaks today, and they gave forth an orange flame as they cooked. The dancing fire fascinated his two fellow adventurers, and the heavenly scents entranced them. When he finally drew the meat out of the fire, they were almost disappointed. "Now it's time to taste them," teased the heir. Snapping out of it, Patrick laughed. Yeah. Right. Eat. It was almost a _shame_ to eat something Bubba had cooked, but Pat accepted his steak with the gratitude of a starving man. Meanwhile Fionna moved to occupy the space next to Bubba.

As she chewed her way through her steak, doing little to keep the sticky glaze from getting all over her face and even dripping down onto her skirt, Fionna found herself having one of those 'life-couldn't-be-better' moments. She was sure the stuff she'd collected was good stuff that she could make bank on. That got her one step closer to buying Banana-Man's old truck. When she had that, she wouldn't have to walk to school or take the train in anymore. And she could drive _herself_ on adventures instead of having her mom do it! It was a good day, all told. The day had been warm. School was almost over for the summer. She'd had a good time in the dungeon and a good weekend. She had a full stomach.

And she was getting to spend quality time with her boyfriend. Alone. Mostly.

As the moon climbed the sky, Fionna grew less and less interested in the conversation and more interested in Bubba Bubblegum. The pretty blonde was all over the young heir, clinging and grabbing and holding hands. So much so that Patrick Petrikov couldn't _help_ but notice. The sight of Fionna all but throwing herself at filthy-rich Boniface Bubblegum, who was literally king of all he surveyed, put Pat in a sour mood. He'd thought he'd been doing well–showing he wasn't a weenie. He'd hung tough down in the Crystal City, bashing his share of fiends just like she did. Now, he found himself thinking there had never really been a chance. He was forever the Beta dude. He was always going to be that way. His dad had been that way.

Simon Petrikov had only landed Pat's mom through sheer luck. At least that's how it seemed to Pat. Ordinarily guys like Simon didn't land hot girls. Pat was just like his dad, and he was never going to win a hot girl like Fi. He needed to move on because there were other girls out there, but it was hard when Fionna was the girl who'd caught his eye. He'd loved her since the day she bashed the guy who was bullying him at school. Unfortunately it was the prince who held Fionna's heart, and everybody at school knew it. It was starting to look like time he accepted it. "I'm'a turn in," muttered the young wizard. Getting up, he went into his tent, turned down the lantern, and crawled into his sleeping bag.

"Phew," murmured Fionna. "I thought he'd never go." Boniface 'Bubba' Bubblegum winced. Fionna wasn't nearly as quiet as he would have preferred. He liked Pat, and he could tell there were feelings there. Pat liked Fionna a lot and always had. More to the point, though, Fionna was always pushing the bounds of what was acceptable. She was as reckless as her dad had been at her age, and she was a lot more emotionally mature. At least his mother called her that. Marceline the Vampire Queen called her 'fast', and honestly Bubba had to agree.

Just now Fi's hand rested on his thigh–something that he knew was sort of off-limits. She never missed a chance to test him–to see how far he would go with her–especially when they were away from home. Now, as they listened to the sounds of crickets and the crackling of the fire, Fionna leaned over and kissed him full on the mouth, slipping him a little tongue in the process.

Bubba couldn't help but respond. Fionna was a beautiful girl, with long, sleek legs, pale blonde hair, and sparkling grey eyes like her mother. And she had a truly awesome rack, contained just now in a tight sports-bra under a tight blue tee-shirt like her dad used to wear. Fionna liked him to touch them, even though he knew his mother would disapprove. In the Princess's mind, kissing led to touching led to screwing led to _babies_. Boniface was much too young for babies. She would have preferred he wait a few centuries like she had, but she would settle for him waiting until he was twenty.

Fionna made that very difficult.

She reasoned that kissing was harmless. She couldn't get PG from a kiss. And when he brought up the slippery-slope idea, she pretended not to understand what he was talking about. The fast little hussy was trying to drag him into indiscretion, and he was fighting as hard as he could to resist, with patchy results. He'd _touched_ her a couple of weeks ago. He'd touched her kind of a lot. He'd managed to stop above the waistline, but it had taken all his willpower, and she'd been mad at him for days, even though she knew they weren't supposed to do that. Tonight, she was at it again.

When she had Bubba kissing her back, the pretty girl slipped into his lap. The handsome young heir found himself sliding his arms around her as they swapped spit. "Mmm," moaned the hot girl. She had her big knobs pressed into his side, and he would have sworn she was trying to rub them back and forth. Breaking that kiss, she gave him a look that said, 'fuck me' without her lips once moving. Bubba did nothing more dangerous than leaving his hands on her waist.

Fionna quickly moved in again, and the two began to kiss and neck, with Bubba losing himself in the feel of her soft skin under his lips. Kissing her ernestly, he teased at her tongue with his, and Fionna crowded in on him, pressing her heavenly body against him. Her hips wriggled back and forth under his hands, and he knew she was expecting him to do more. She'd been all but daring him to touch her hot snatch–an act that he knew would get them into trouble. She'd hinted that her mother had her on the pill, but Bubba knew better than to test that. If he got Fi preggers, her dad would wring his neck–and then his mom would... scold him. Honestly, he wasn't sure what would be worse, getting pummeled by Captain Finn or getting that disapproving look from his mother.

Breaking that kiss, Fionna gave him an expectant look. Bubba glanced away. No, he wasn't going to go further than last time. He wasn't even going to rub her boobies like he'd done before either. Fionna got in his face, and she caught his hands and tried to put them on her boobies. Boniface Bubblegum pulled his hands away from hers.

Frustrated, Fionna muttered curses. "I'm sorry," murmured the young prince. She turned and glared at him, looking perilously like she'd belt him. "Fi," said he. "You know I can't. _We_ can't." He'd made it clear that they had to wait until they were married. Formally. That had to wait until they were engaged. Formally. That had to wait until they'd told their parents. Formally. Irritated, Fionna retorted, "then you're going to tell my dad. Tomorrow." Bubba's face went red-hot. He was _terrified_ of Finn Mertens. Wagging a finger in his face, Fionna said, "you're not gonna' do me like that, Bubba! Tomorrow. You're going to go home with me _tomorrow_." With a sigh, Boniface nodded. He owed her that. It was a little soon–his mother would make them wait until they were twenty–but it couldn't hurt to at least start.

With the decision made, Fionna got up and got out the sleeping bags. He expected that, after their little fight, she'd go put her bag somewhere else, but, to his shock and fear, she zipped the two bags together and climbed in. "Well," she demanded? "You can hold me. That doesn't break mommy's rules..."

Elsewhere, the leadership of the Notorious Pup gang was gathering for their weekly meeting. Their leader, Jamaica, had a lot to discuss with his boys. They had a whole pile of crooked schemes underway from smuggling to protection rackets, and he needed them squared away. There had been some problems lately–with guys disappearing with _his_ money and peeps getting busted by the Guard–and it was always best to nip trouble in the bud.

Unfortunately there was something–or rather someone–in the way this evening.

The little woman in the corner was giving him the eye again. She'd been there at that table most of the evening, just looking around, and no amount of hinting or suggestions from the barkeep could convince her to leave. Jamaica frowned at her. For answer, she smiled back. She was one of those sexpots from the forest. There were more of them here these days, usually separating guys from their gold in some crashpad off Princess Way. They weren't exactly _common_ though. So what the fuck did this one want? There was an easy way to find out. "Toughy," growled Jamaica, "go make the little lady's acquaintance." If she gave them trouble, Jamaica would have her neck snapped and the body tossed in the recycler.

The big fellow waddled over to the pretty lady. As he approached, he noticed things about their admirer. Unlike the usual run of her kind, the strange, leaf-like _hair_ on her head was yellow instead of green, and her eyes were a strange blue-green. "Hey," the little woman greeted him. "Hey, yourself, sweet-cheeks," rumbled toughy. "Whatcha' need? You lookin' for work?" With an impish smile, the pretty girl replied, "you don't make enough to afford me..." "Pussy that good, huh," asked Toughy? She gave him a sweet smile.

"I don't pay," growled the thug, as he grabbed for her collar. Kicking him in the knee–breaking the knee-cap–the wood-nymph shoved herself out of reach. As Toughy went down on one knee, he hurled curses at her. Rising, the wood-nymph warrior walked around the table. With a sharp kick to the head, she flattened the injured gangster. Seeing his enforcer go down, Jamaica shouted for help. As the wood-nymph warrior approached, gangsters started coming out of the woodwork.

The little woman had a sexy sway to her hips that was almost mesmerizing, and she smiled as she came ever closer. "I'm warning you," growled Jamaica! She chuckled, the cocky little bitch. This little witch was awfully confident, and that gave the gangster pause. "You can leave," muttered Jamaica. "You can leave, and we'll just let this go..." The wood-nymph smiled and answered that with, "the prophet doesn't like guys like you."

The gangster's mouth came open. He'd rousted the Prophet James out of this neighborhood and threatened to skin that freak if he ever came back! Was this bitch saying the freak put out a hit on him?! How was that possible? He was sure the freak had neither the pull nor the money for that. The little woman's blue-green eyes seemed to hold the promise of death if he stayed. "Y-you're outnumbered," stammered Jamaica. She shrugged as if it scarcely mattered.

And then it was on.

The first thug rushed her. The nymph stepped backwards at the last second, tripping the candy-cane as he rushed by. Spinning to her right, she knifed a gingerbread man in the heart. As he dropped, she executed a spin kick and flattened the sandwich-cookie behind her. For Jamaica, it was time to become _scarce_. He and Blombo ran, ducking into a secret passage behind the bar. Behind them, the wood-nymph assassin tore through Jamaica's bodyguards and thugs like a knife through butter.

That was when the guns came out.

With the boss gone, there was nothing in the way. The barkeep leveled a sawed-off candy-cane at the little woman and let fly. Almost as if she had eyes in the back of her head, the assassin grabbed a popsicle and pulled him in front of her. He screamed as the shot tore up his back. The wizard responded with a lightning bolt, frying the spongecake behind the bar.

With the gloves off, wizard and gangster went all out. While the gangsters fired blasts from their guns, the wood-nymph threw bespelled darts that flattened two and three men at a shot, making a noise like thunder as they flattened tables and smashed walls. The noise could be heard for _blocks_ , and the wizard knew she needed to hurry. The Banana Guard would be here soon bringing questions and bad attitudes with them. Leaping up to catch the ceiling fan, the wizard twisted her body and jumped over the row of thugs, landing on the bar. Tumbling down the bar, she hurled darts and lightning bolts until every man was dead or fled. Then she jumped down and walked into the secret tunnel, shutting the door behind her.

The tunnel was dimly lit, making it perfect for rats–and traps. The wizard conjured a glowing globe and sent it floating down the hall ahead of her. The tunnel went back into the hill behind the bar, but then she knew that already. She had insider information. Padding down the tunnel, spell-dart in hand, she counted the steps. Step by step, she made her way down that hall, the globe floating ahead of her. At the eightieth step, she darted forward and hurled the dart into a hidden alcove, pulping Blombo. Wiping goo off her face, the assassin went on up the tunnel. More confident now, she whistled a popular tune by Marceline and the Scream Queens.

As she got to the line about sucking the red from little pink faces, she stepped out into Jamaica's bolt-hole. The gangster was in a corner hastily stuffing money into a sack. When she whistled to catch his attention, the gangster turned and stared at her. "W-why're you doing this," he stammered. The wizard chuckled, "you know what this is..." His face told that he knew. "I-I can pay you," he stammered. Shaking her head, she said, "you know how this goes, lardo. You shouldn't have crossed the boss. You know James is under the boss's protection." His eyes showed that he knew exactly what this was about now. Grinning an evil grin, the wizard raised her hand...

Up in the bar, the Troubleshooter was in the midst of dealing with the disaster that had been a popular bar in Candy-Town. In the short time he'd been working in the Banana Guards, he'd seen the crazy stuff that happened in Bonnibel Bubblegum's perfect little kingdom. He'd never seen anything like this. Now he frowned at the sound of that thunderous blast. The noise came from outside, and, if he wasn't mistaken, from directly over the hill. Turning to the guards in the room, he said, "continue the investigation. I'll be back." Rushing for the back door, he darted outside and stood listening. There it was again. He was off like a shot, racing up the hill and over.

As he crested the hill, he was just in time to see a small figure come out of a rickety shack at the bottom of the hill. He'd heard rumors that the Notorious Pups kept a secret clubhouse under the hill. Now he thought he was seeing their killer exiting the clubhouse after having done his dirt. The young hero gave chase. He didn't have a lot of use for these guys, but he would be damned if he would let somebody just whack them in _his_ town!

The wood-nymph was halfway up the street, headed for the exit, when she heard the footfalls on her tail. A glance back told her that this wasn't going to be her night. _Him,_ she thought. _Great._ That was the absolute last thing she needed. This whole thing had been going right according to the plan. Her teacher had emphasized the value of having a good plan going into a situation like this, and she'd followed his instructions to the letter.

Of course he'd also told her that sometimes things went south anyway. Sometimes you just got blindsided and had to figure out what to do from there. She had a second plan–something she'd picked up from her employer. Taking the next turn, she headed straight up the road towards the big water-tank that stood at the top of the next hill. The street around her was littered with carts and other conveyances in the strange hodge-podge that was the Candy Kingdom. There were steam-powered motorcycles and electric-powered cars and horse-drawn wagons loaded with produce. All of it made a very convenient deterrent for pursuit.

The wizard blasted the chocks out from under one of the wagons, letting the thing roll back down the hill towards her pursuer. She kept running as the thing went smashing through other wagons, generating a cloud of rolling, tumbling debris. When she glanced back, she was astonished to see her pursuer go tumbling through that mess as if he was blessed with Glob's own luck. Not one piece of junk even touched him. He barely even slowed down!

Next she tried for a stack of junk on a truck, blasting the tailgate away and sending the trash cascading down on her pursuer. Wielding a sword that seemed to spit lightning, he blasted several large pieces and tumbled and cartwheeled past the rest. "Sonofabitch," growled the wizard! He just didn't stop. They were closing on the water-tower, and she was looking at her last chance to slow him down. She didn't want to do that. That would raise a little too much hell and maybe get some people hurt who weren't gangsters. At the same time, she wasn't going to let him catch her.

That was when she saw the kid. He was standing next to a towering pile of hay–fodder for the Spoon of Plenty–and he looked bored. The little gumdrop boy seemed awful curious about her as she came rushing up the street. Changing course, she rushed past him, blasting the side of the wagon as she did so. The heavy stacks of hay came tumbling down, presenting her pursuit with a bit of a dilemma. Catch her, or let the kid get squished. Just as she'd guessed, the young hero dove under the pile, caught the kid, and snatched him out of danger. By the time the Troubleshooter looked up, the wizard was gone.

"Wow, mister," howled the gumdrop-boy! "You saved my life!" "No prob, bob," rumbled the young man. His eyes were on the last place he'd seen the perp. She was gone. She'd gotten away, but he'd gotten a good look at her. There was something wrong there. If he didn't know his stepmother was in Wizard City, he would have sworn that was _her_. _Better get back and write this up,_ thought Billy Mertens.

 **Update rate for this story will be a bit slower than past efforts. Lots of stuff going on at work and home.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

"Well, that's that," announced Finn with a whistle. Wiping sweat from his brow, he straightened. "Now our little flowers can wash as long as they want," chuckled Simone. At least until _they_ got married and had babies of their own. Then they would get to see just how much of a luxury personal time really was. Turning to face his girl–he still thought of her that way–Finn swept Simone into his arms and kissed her. She was still gorgeous. His wife of seventeen years worked hard to maintain her fabulous figure, and she still had long, lean legs, a flat, washboard stomach, and lean, muscular arms. Two pregnancies had given her fuller hips, a rounder butt, and bigger boobies. She now filled a d-cup bra.

"Mmmm," moaned Simone. She'd feared, early on, that she would lose him. The wish-magic that Emeraude had accidentally inflicted on Finn had a powerful grip on her husband. She'd come to learn that there was more than enough love in Finn's heart for both of them. He never failed to give her love, attention, and respect.

Finn's hands caressed her curves through the ratty tee-shirt she was wearing, slowly working their way down to her hips and from there to her ass. Her butt was her best asset. Emeraude had always been jealous of Simone's bottom. Of course the petite little wood-nymph had assets all her own, but Finn never got tired of squeezing Simone's ass. "We're kind of icky, honey," whined Simone, as Finn got to grips with her meaty butt. "Then let's get upstairs and take a shower," said Finn. It was almost a certainty that they wouldn't be showering separately. They'd missed having date-night, but they didn't need to miss having fun. Ironically, that was one thing having _two_ wives helped with. Emeraude and Simone took turns managing the kids while Finn took one or the other of them out on dates.

Finn took his wife by the hand and half-dragged her up the stairs to the master bath. Once there, he got the hot water running. And then? Well, it was time to strip the hottie. Simone was looking at her hair. Finn walked up, grabbed a handful of her butt and gave it a squeeze. "Eek," squealed Simone! She spun around to face her husband, and Finn caught her lips with his. "Mmmm," moaned the tall beauty as her honey began to caress her body. He was getting her hotter and hotter. When he started moving his hands up to her boobies, she reminded him, "baby, we're dirty..."

Grinning an evil grin, Finn grabbed the hem of her tee-shirt and snatched it off her in one smooth move. Spinning her around again, he popped the catch on her wonder-bra, letting those big, juicy knockers bounce free. The hero took the time to toy with them, hefting them in his big hands and stroking her pale skin, getting her hot again. By the time he stopped, she was grinding her big butt into his crotch. Finn kissed his way down her back, tasting the salt of her sweat as he went. His hands slipped into the waist of her shorts and panties, and he slid those down as he slowly closed in on her butt. Simone blushed to her hair as he bit one of the meaty globes. She was almost tempted to just let him do it to her now.

The feel of Simone's soft skin against his face honestly had Finn thinking of just that. Still, he knew she was right. His hands were particularly filthy. Standing up, he took his girl by the hands and stepped into the shower. Drawing the curtain, he immediately grabbed the soap and began washing his hands. Beside him, Simone grabbed a bar of the girly-soap she and E liked so much and did the same. Finn scrubbed the dirt and grime from his hands and even out from under his fingernails. When he was done, he turned around to find his wife scrubbing those big knobs of hers.

Grinning an evil grin, Finn slapped her hands away from those. Instead, he began to scrub and wash them himself. Indeed, he made her turn away from him. Slipping his arms around her, he began to scrub her hot body, running the rough surface of the towel up and down her hard belly and over those big globes. She hadn't really cooled down from before, and it didn't take long before she was moaning softly. Eyes closed, Simone reached back and began to stroke her man's big, fat pecker.

Slowly Finn's hands worked their way lower and then lower still, gliding across her washboard stomach and then down between her sleek, muscular thighs. Nibbling on her left earlobe, he teased her hot snatch, rubbing the towel all around her hot opening without ever touching it. In short order, she was ready to scream! Only when her hips started grinding against his hands did he move on.

The handsome hero slipped a finger into her opening, sliding it in and out as soft sighs and gasps of pleasure left her lips. With his other hand, he caressed her big boobies, squeezing them gently. He couldn't help remembering sucking some of the milk out of them when Fionna had been born. "Ooaan, oaann, uhnnn," whined his hot wife. She'd only gotten hotter with age, such that she got mad at him when he neglected her for work. It had been a fair bit since they'd had a chance, and now Simone's climax rose quickly because she was more than a little horny. "Yesss," wailed the sexy ex-sorceress.

Continuing to caress her beautiful body, Finn told her how much he loved her. He told her how much he missed her when he was away from here. He told her how sexy she was still after seventeen years. Simone bent over and grabbed the edge of the tub as Finn got up behind her. Pressing his thick bone against her honeypot, he eased inside her. "Oooaaaah," howled the hot house-wife. As Finn began to rail her, she whined, "yes, baby! Yes!"

Slipping his arms around her waist, he began to rub her hot button, while he played with those big knobs with his free hand. It drove her crazy when he did that. She thrust that beautiful ass back at him with every stroke he gave her. Eyes closed and head thrashing back and forth, the sexy ice-witch went screaming over the edge. Howling out her name, Finn was just moments after.

After they recovered, the pair resumed washing, while they chatted about goings on around the Kingdom. Simone was excited to report that, with the Grand Master ailing, the people of Wizard City were looking at finding a replacement. Simon, of all people, was thinking of campaigning for the job. For Finn, it sort of made sense. Simon was well over a thousand years old. He was the oldest living person on Ooo. Only Marceline and Bonnie even came close. As Ice King, he'd forgotten more about magic than the typical run of wizards had ever learned, Grand Master included.

"Honey," murmured Simone, as she toweled off, "I've been thinking..." Finn could tell from the tone of her voice that she wanted to tell him something that she was afraid would bother him. "Yeah, babe," he replied? "I've... Well, the kids are getting to the point where they don't really need me," she burbled. Finn continued to dry off, and she found herself in fear of what he would say. What she wanted to do would kind of change the way the house ran. He had developed the worst poker-face from spending so much time in Bonnie's company. After debating things a few moments in her mind, she finally decided to cut to the chase. "I... Well, daddy would need some people to help with his campaign," murmured Simone.

Turning to face his beloved wife, Finn pulled her to him and kissed her forehead. With a grin, he said, "yeah, man! That's great! But... well, how'd you get into Wizard City?" Blushing in happiness and gratitude, she reminded him, "there's lots of wizards who don't live in the city, honey. I could go door-to-door and canvas for him." He had no idea what canvasing was, but he was ok with her doing it if it would help Simon. Hugging her tight, he told her, "you deserve it, hon. Go for it."

Done drying off, Finn got into his robe. "See you down in the kitchen," said he, as he headed out. It made sense to him. Simone and Simon were closer than ever. She really looked up to her 'dad'. There was sometimes a little friction between her and Betty, but, for the most part, the three were really one happy family. Finn was happy for his wife to get out more and see more of the world. They hadn't ended up having the big pile of kids that they'd talked about. Billy, Fionna, and Star had taken up all their time as it was. Simone had been right in the thick of raising them, hauling all three kids to the doctors or to school whenever Finn and Emeraude were too busy with work. He was glad for her to have a chance to expand her horizons.

Arriving downstairs, Finn got busy getting out stuff for dinner. By the time Simone had dried off and come down, he had most of the veggies chopped and the stove stoked up and ready to go. "Thanks, sweetie," said Simone as she moved to the stove and got to work on dinner. While she worked, Finn watched her. It was a favorite pastime of his. The sight of his wife in that thin house-coat standing in front of the stove always got Finn a little worked up. Her robe seemed to make that booty stand out even more, inciting Finn to want to rail the shit out of her. In spite of having just got it on, the human hero found himself wanting another taste.

Rising, Finn strolled over, jerked her robe up, and grabbed her ass, giving it a squeeze. "Finn," howled Simone! "Don't you dare! The kids are due home any minute!" Finn ignored that warning. Reaching up, he got a hold of her plump right booby, while he continued to stroke and squeeze her butt. Running his lips along her throat, he worked her over, whispering dirty thoughts at her. Those words and the feel of his hands on her body soon had Simone getting hotter and hotter.

Just as she came to the decision that dinner could wait, a voice announced, "mom! We're... _Yuck!_ " Finn snatched his hands away from his wife, and Simone hastily straightened her robe. Fionna stood there at the top of the stairs with Prince Boniface, who was studiously staring at the ceiling. " _Mom_ ," howled the pretty blonde! "What the junk?! You can't do that!" Simone gave her a quizzical look. "Don't give me that look," said Fionna, as she stomped her foot in irritation! "You two are my _parents_ , for Globsake! You can't do that!" Finn retorted, "how do you think we got to be your parents?" The sixteen-year-old's face went red hot, and she sputtered and spluttered a long few minutes. Giving his wife a peck on the cheek, Finn announced, "I'm going upstairs to get changed. Be right back."

Finn went upstairs and got into a fresh set of clothes. He'd take over making dinner while Simone got dressed. It was one thing to be bopping around in a robe with their kids. It was another to be doing it when Bonnie's kids were here. When he got back downstairs, he found Fionna giving her mother a tongue-lashing. "You two are _not_ doing that kinda' stuff," groused the pretty teen! Fionna was quite irate, making Finn howl laughter. Prince Boniface 'Bubba' Bubblegum was trying to calm her down. "Hey, honey," chuckled Finn, "whyn't you go get dressed? I got this."

Giving Finn a peck on the lips–which he turned into a deep soul-kiss–Simone got on her way. Finn pinched her bottom, further infuriating his daughter. Fionna was sitting there wearing the cute rabbit hat he'd made for her, with her arms folded, looking like she was ready to belt him. As he took Simone's place at the stove, he reminded his daughter, "you're supposed to call when you have guests, Fionna, so you've only got your self to blame if you're embarrassed." Fionna blushed. She'd _insisted_ that Bubba come home with her for dinner, even though he kept trying to back out. She had reasons, but she knew the risk. Her dad was a horny old goat. Any time he thought Fionna and her siblings were out of the house for a long while, he'd be trying to screw around with Fionna's mom or her stepmom.

"How's it hangin', Bon," asked Finn? "Two feet down and to the left, two feet down to the right, or in your girlfriend's back pocket?" Fionna's face went even redder, confirming what Finn had already begun to suspect. His little girl had latched onto the young heir as her boyfriend. He wasn't sure quite what to do with that. It was kind of funny that Fifi would fall for Bonnie's kid like Finn fell for Bonnie. Like father like daughter. At the same time, Bubba had a lot of Bonnie in him. Finn didn't want his daughter spending all her life and energy on him if he wasn't going to respond. Still, he would do nothing to dissuade or deflect her. At the end of the day, it _was_ her life, and she would have to learn eventually.

"Careful, Fifi," chuckled Finn. "Marcy or Marshall could eat for days from your face right now." "Marshall doesn't eat blood or red," huffed Fionna. "Just your nasty old girlfriend." Finn laughed. Marcy had scared the shit out of Fionna when she was just six, and Fionna had never gotten over it. She never failed to snipe or backbite at the Vampire Queen whenever she got the chance. Marcy put up with it, mostly, though honestly Finn rarely saw her these days. She still did concerts, and she still visited with Bonnie, but she often made up excuses not to come by the treehouse. Finn couldn't help wondering about that. Early on, he'd thought she was just being her usual anti-social self. Later, he'd begun to fear that maybe Bonnie wasn't the only one who'd had a secret thing for him.

Simone came down, and she went straight across to Bubba and hugged him. She was, more or less, the mother of Billy, Fionna, and Star's entire circle of friends. It was common in the early days for Finn to find a dozen screaming kids running around the house when he got home. Fortunately he loved kids. That affinity for kids told him that something was afflicting the young prince. As Simone grabbed Fionna and made her go upstairs and wash for dinner, Finn took the young man and steered him into the 'war-room'–the old place where he'd kept his weapons and gear once upon a time.

"So," said Finn. "What's buggin' you?" Flushing, Boniface Bubblegum murmured, "that obvious?" "Yeah, bro," chuckled Finn. "I changed your diapers, remember?" Blushing even harder, Bubba admitted, "I want to ask something, Captain Finn." He was always very formal. Finn waved for him to go on. "I-I," stammered the young candy person. "Deep breath, buddy," said Finn, as he demonstrated. He already knew what the younger man wanted to ask. There was no need for the drama. "I'd like your permission to romantically pursue Fionna," rumbled the candy prince.

"Sure," said Finn. The tall candy-person tried to lay out his qualifications, but Finn stopped him. "There's just one qualification I really care about," said the Captain of the Guard. Boniface Bubblegum was all ears. Looking him dead in the eye, Finn asked, "are you going to love Fionna? Or are you going to spend all your time _working_ , Bon?" Bubba blushed again and glanced away. He knew that his mother's Captain of the Guard had once pursued his mother with all his strength. His mother was absolutely rotten at personal relationships. She was always the smartest person in the room, but she wasn't the kindest or the most loving. Truth be told, the Captain had all but raised the young heir and his sister himself. "I'm not my mother, Captain," sighed Bubba. "I refuse to spend my life married to my job."

"Good," said Finn. "That's what I wanted to hear." He clapped his almost-son on the back. Bubba wanted to shake his hand, but Finn was having none of that. He hugged the young man, rocking with him there, telling him how proud he was of his prince. He left Bubba blushing to his hair. At the same time, the young man stood straighter, feeling proud and glad that his soon-to-be father-in-law felt that way about him. Then, with a hand on the younger man's shoulder, Finn led him back to the kitchen where he found his lieutenant, Spike, and his son, Billy, waiting near the stairs.

That was ominous. His oldest child was following in his father's footsteps, learning the trade of soldier from Finn himself. He had a handful of Finn's old weapons, and he often worked with the Banana Guard–when school wasn't in the way. Boniface greeted him with, "good evening Billy..." "Bon," replied Billy. Spike meanwhile approached Finn, announcing, "need to talk, Cap." "Ok," said Finn. "War-Room, guys." He hustled his deputy and his son into his office and shut the door. Simone would keep prying ears away.

Turning to his son and partner, he asked, "'sup?" "There's a new problem in Candy-Town," said Spike. "There's a wizard causing trouble there." Finn quirked an eyebrow. Usually the wizards kept their wiz-biz over in Wizard City. Since most of them were barely functional loons, they needed Bonnie's kingdom to keep supplying them with food. The Grand Master wouldn't have permitted them to be here raising hell. Yet, they had a wizard doing just that.

Finn listened with growing dismay as Billy told about the fight at Slick's Cider down in Candy-Town last night. The Notorious Pup gang had gotten their butts kicked by a wood-nymph wizard. Billy had chased her across half the town. Whoever she was, she was slicker than snot, and she'd gotten out of sight and gotten away from Billy. With all the other troubles going on right now, they couldn't afford to have a wizard raising hell in the Candy Kingdom. He'd have to put a stop to this. Like right flippin' now. "Alright," said Finn. "Thanks for stopping by, Spike. I'll see you tonight."

Billy and Spike preceded Finn from the office. When Finn stepped out, he found his younger daughter, Star, sitting at the table with her sister and her sister's new boyfriend. "Star," said Finn. "How was the sleepover?" "It was a blast, dad," said the young girl. She had been telling her sister and Bubba all about it. Fionna rolled her eyes at her dad. They were both _sixteen_! Who did sleepovers after fourteen?! Finn chuckled. His daughter thought she was all grown up. He'd have to have a talk with her about that. Spike got on his way, while Billy joined them at the table for dinner.

"Oooh, look girls," crowed Simone! "My son's going to join us for dinner!" Billy blushed to the roots of his hair as his mother demanded, "whassamatter, kiddo? Your mystery woman not cooking tonight?" She was, of course, teasing him, but there was more than a little bit of irritation there. She was bothered by the fact that her son disappeared for days at a stretch, spending time on/with a woman they didn't even know and had never been allowed to meet. She didn't like the mystery, and she made sure Billy knew it. He'd been swearing that he would introduce his girlfriend to the family 'when the time was right', but even Finn was starting to think that time was never going to come.

Star and Fionna gleefully joined in for the chance to tweak their big-brother's nose a little. While Billy had never 'lorded' it over them and never threw his weight around in the house, he made it clear that when the three were home without the 'rents, he was in charge. Even at the age of twelve, he made sure they were all in bed when they were supposed to be, baby-sitter or not. Unlike Fionna, it was rare that he was ever caught out doing anything he shouldn't, and even Star was more likely to be caught at mischief than he was. Finn waited a while to see if things would spiral out of control. When they didn't, he moved things on by gathering up some of the plates to take to the table. He was happy to have his boy home, and he figured Billy needed the space to figure this out. He was content to wait as long as it took.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

It was a typical day at exclusive Toffee Place Highschool. The halls were full of young people going about the business of learning, and the cafeteria held a sea of laughing, chattering faces. The children of the Candy Kingdom's most important families were present, having lunch as a tall, blonde human girl made her way through the line with a tray. Fionna was in a very bad mood as she exited the line for food. She'd gotten another severe dressing down from the teacher in her math class for her performance on her homework, and she was sick of it. She was tired of math, and she could hardly wait to be out of this awful place. She wasn't cut out for this stuff, and she couldn't for the life of her understand why her parents didn't see that! They hadn't objected when Billy left school early! Granted, Billy had skipped two grades and ended up in college early, but still.

Shoko intercepted the tomboy halfway across the room announcing, "boy do you look like you're in a bad mood." Fionna grumbled something unpleasant. "Math again," asked the genius? Worldlessly, Fionna nodded. Fionna and Mr. K didn't get along, and the whole school knew it. The cereal flake had been riding Fionna Mertens since she showed up. "Hey, Shoko, hey sis," announced Star as she approached from the sandwich bar. The wood-nymph had a giant sandwich composed of long, thick slices of steak and chunks of pepper. "Not hangin' with your buds today," asked Fionna? Star frowned in puzzlement. "Math," murmured Shoko. Star nodded sagely. Mr. K had pissed in Fionna's cheerios again.

The threesome occupied the end of a table in the corner. They were the school's three misfits, in spite of their upbringing and Shoko's social status. It wasn't as though others hadn't tried to recruit Shoko, and Fionna had once been a cheerleader–until she found out she couldn't cheer and play in the game at the same time. Shoko just didn't get a thrill out of primping and showing off her good looks. She was torn between Fionna's tomboy ways and an ernest interest in science and math–usually combined into a fascinating study of some dangerous animal in some out of the way place that required wilderness skills to reach.

Fionna had been the new 'hot' girl until she beat out the former varsity quarterback for the starter's job. The cheerleaders–who typically fawned over him–had all dumped on her at once. At least they tried to. Fionna could ably fight guys who were bigger than she was. She'd punched out two of her former colleagues, and the rest had run off in terror. Of course, the fact that half the guys in school still wanted to pork her did nothing to endear her to the other girls.

And Star? Well, the snarky little wood-nymph had always been somewhere in the background, neither popular nor particularly noticed, until the town had become infested with her aunts and cousins. It didn't take long for the word to get around. If you wanted a good time, you went and found one of them. Star had been getting all sorts of negative attention from guys since then–even guys who were much older. Three had gotten beaten to a pulp by Billy when they pushed too far. Five more had gotten beaten by Fionna when Billy wasn't around because they thought they were safe.

There were several wood-nymphs going to school here now, and mostly the boys had moved on to them. Those girls were happy to give it up at the drop of a hat–for tickets to the dance or the concert or for the chance to ride around in a nice truck. Star hung around with them sometimes, but she never stayed long. Much like her mother, she was a little contemptuous of the way they lived life.

"So how was the trip," asked Shoko? Fionna grunted. She was obviously still irritated by her confrontation with the math teacher. "C'mon, Fi," said Shoko. "What was it like?" Since it was so hard for her to get out, Shoko sort of lived life through Fionna. Grinning, Fionna admitted, "it was banaynays!" And she launched into the story of how she'd smashed half the crystal fiends in the City of Crystal Fiends. Shoko hung on every word. She never got to leave the city, unless it was under heavy escort with a couple-hundred Banana Guards.

As she rattled to the end, Fionna took a deep breath and laughed, "it was a blast." Star snarkily opined, "I'd almost think you went alone..." Fionna bristled at the suggestion that she hogged all the credit. Even though she had. Still, she gave as good as she got, reminding her sister, " _I_ didn't go to a crummy sleepover!" Star chuckled. She didn't really have anything to prove. There was plenty of time for her to go out when she was out of school for the summer. Star turned to the princess and asked, "and you? I remember you had big weekend plans too."

It was an open secret in the city's social scene that Shoko and Marshall Lee, the Vampire Prince, were an item. They'd met at the Duke of Nuts' annual birthday bash and had been sort of dating ever since. Shoko had been terrified of what her mom would say, so she'd kept the secret, but the logistics of going out on secret dates had been difficult until she'd persuaded–or so she thought–Captain Finn to let her have Bubba's old room. She'd been sneaking out every weekend since to see Marshall. They'd snuck into clubs and partied like rock-stars. Until now.

As Star and Fionna watched, the light went out of Shoko's eyes. With a heavy sigh, the princess said, "I... got busted." She told them about coming back to her room to find Captain Finn waiting on her. Fionna was appalled! Bonnie couldn't even ground her own daughter in person! Shoko blushed to her hair at the way her best friend put that. Fionna wasn't Princess Bonnibel's biggest fan. She didn't like the way Shoko's mom was always flirting with her dad, and she really didn't care for the way the Candy Monarch controlled her boyfriend. Bonnie Bubblegum manipulated her son and guilted him so he never defied her. Of course, Fionna was right in a lot of ways. Finn had done a lot of the work of raising the two heirs. It was one of the things that made Shoko wish he was her dad.

Changing the subject, Shoko asked, "how did it go with Bubba?" It was no secret at all that Shoko's brother was dating her best friend. Nor did Fionna hide her interest in taking things up a notch. At Shoko's question, Fionna blushed and muttered curses under her breath. Star chuckled. Was there ever any possibility that Bubba Bubblegum was going to go against his mom's wishes and make hot steamy love with Fionna? The wood-nymph had once teased her sister by suggesting that maybe Bubs was impotent. They had fought for a good fifteen minutes after that–until Star's mom came home early. Fighting each other was forbidden–with a sentence of automatic grounding for a week–and anyway it would have been a disaster for any of their parents to find out Fionna was trying to have sex at sixteen. Star had no idea why her sister was in such a big hurry anyway. They were teens. There was plenty of time to get their wild-side on. Star wanted a truck of her own and a nest-egg saved.

Mood brightening, Fionna said, "he asked dad." Shoko's mouth came open. She wouldn't have believed her brother had the balls! With a chuckle, Star reminded her, "but the real problem's asking your mom..." Fionna cussed her, but it only made Star laugh harder. They all knew it was true. Shoko had gotten the 'talk' at fourteen, and essentially told that if she so much as let a boy near enough to smell the soap she'd showered with, she would be sorry she was born. Shoko turned to her friend and offered congratulations. She was happy things were moving along for Fi. As the young candy-person congratulated her friend, the bell rang, announcing start of next period. The trio rose to go, with Fionna asking, "what's next class?" "Chemistry," replied Shoko. "Oh, no," groaned Fionna! "Mr. Flakes!"

As Fionna's sister and best friend howled laughter, across the room, Patrick Petrikov sat watching them go. "Did'ja bone her," asked Ralph? The sugar-dumpling was annoying. He was the most annoying 'friend' Patrick had at school. "Betcha' didn't," laughed the candy-person. "Of course I didn't," retorted Patrick. He was still smarting from watching Fionna throw herself at Bubba, and he wanted to bite Ralph's head off. Of course an hour after he did, it would be all over the school how he got shot down without even taking off. Calmly, the apprentice-wizard replied, "I went along to find a crystal spell-focus, remember, Nasty?" He always called Ralph 'Nasty' because he had pretty poor hygiene.

Frowning, Ralph asked, "did you get it?" Chuckling, Patrick replied, "duh!" He put the chunk of crystal on the table. He was planning to sneak into the physics lab later and use some of the instruments there to shape it. It was cheating a little. He was supposed to do it himself, but he wanted to go shoot hoops with the fellas later. His mom was expecting him to come home tonight with it for the second half of his education. It wasn't enough that he was a year ahead in high-school and making straight As. If he didn't make the grade in his wizard studies with his parents, he got a verbal beat-down.

Still, he had his own reasons for getting a crystal above and beyond making his mom and dad happy. Like most of his classmates, Patrick Petrikov was focused on gaining his independence from his parents. Like Fionna and her sister, he wanted a truck of his own. That would let him go to Wizard City whenever he felt like it instead of waiting to ride there with one of his parents when they felt like being bothered. A focus crystal would help him build an amp. The amp would help him absorb and transmute more energy. That would, in turn, help him cast bigger and better spells. And that's where the money was. "You can be lookout, Nasty," said Patrick, as he rose to hand in his tray. The dumpling eagerly followed him out the door of the cafeteria.

Fionna was no more adept at chemistry than she was at math, and she drove Mr. Flakes to distraction. More to the point, Shoko and Star often helped her in the lab or when an important assignment was due. In point of fact, Shoko truly _carried_ the pretty blonde when the lessons got too hard and the pressure mounted. When they were in grade school, Fionna had talked about actually running away. At least she had until Star pointed out all the good food she'd miss. Both Finn the Human and Simone were fantastic cooks, and the kids of the treefort could easily have gotten _fat_ eating all their meals at home.

Today, the pretty princess, distracted as she was by her troubles with Marshall Lee, was having troubles of her own focusing, and it fell to Star to guide them through the day's experiment. As Star skillfully mixed the reagent under the doting eyes of the hostile croissant, Shoko was thinking about Marshall's cryptic comments. He'd been hinting at something when he suggested that maybe she was 'old enough'. At the time, the comment had struck the young candy-person as odd, but now, after the racy conversation with Fionna and Star, she was starting to realize that it was more than odd. Marshall had been suggesting that they go further too. In spite of her jokes about her brother and her almost-dad's worries, Shoko hadn't done anything more serious than holding hands with Marshall. Well, she _had_ kissed his cheek, and he'd kissed her hand–though it was more to make fun of her than anything. Still, Shoko knew as well as Bubba what the consequences would be if she did something stupid.

Her mother had been cold, _clinical_ , and even antiseptic when she described what sex was like. She'd put up a hologram on the display in the den and showed both her heirs how the parts interfaced before going into a detailed analysis of the chemical reactions involved. It had sounded so _mechanical_ that even her own kids began to drift off on her. Still, the message had got received. If Bubba so much as _touched_ a girl below her neck or above the wrist of her arm, he was a dead man. And Shoko? If she dared to bring home a baby without the privilege of marriage... well, maybe she better just keep walking. So, no, Shoko wasn't even close to ready to do that, and now she wondered what she was going to do about Marshall.

As she pondered that, Marshall Lee Abadeer, high-school drop-out, musician, and singing sensation came strolling into the home he shared with his mother in the bottom of her dank, abysmal cave. He called the place Abysmia when he was with his friends. And when he got caught, he called it Abysmia to his mother's face. It was one of the great ironies of his life that he and his mother were so much alike that they couldn't stand each other. More to the point, she was basically at the root of all that was bad with his life.

He hated, simply _hated_ the fact that he was kind of shackled up here. He was sixteen, headed towards seventeen, and he wanted out, out, _out_ of this house. The place was depressing. He wanted the sun on his face. He wanted to hang out until the crack of dawn, sleep a couple hours, then do it all again. Unfortunately, his clingy, needy mom was tieing him down. When he was gone too long, she called him on the phone. And let it ring and ring and ring. If he expressed interest in girls, she tried her best to sabotage things so they wouldn't work out. She was a real drag, and he was anxious to be legal so he could get on with his life.

"Where have you been," demanded Marceline the Vampire Queen?! Marshall brushed past her, headed for the kitchen. "Answer me," growled the elder vampire. "Just chill," muttered Marshall! "Geez!" "You were out with that bitch again, weren't you," demanded the vampire? " _What_ bitch," retorted the half-breed, as he rummaged through the fridge. The gray food had been _different_ when he was a kid. Now it was kind of nasty. Everything in his life was gray. The food. The house. His whole existence. It was kind of like she was sucking the life out of him. Settling on a couple of bananas–food that his mother wouldn't touch–the young man went to the kitchen table, sat down, and began dicing the bananas down to more manageable size.

"It's not gonna' work, you know," growled Marceline! "She's just going to fucking die, Marshall. They all do." He ignored her. She didn't know what she was talking about anyway. As Marshall chewed on slices of banana, Marceline shrilly told him all about what it felt like to lose the person you cared most about. She was all broken up inside about that, and there were times he pitied her. Not today, though. He couldn't be bothered to care. Besides, with Shoko's mom being almost as old as his and showing no sign of ever aging, Shoko would likely be with him forever.

Irritated at being ignored, the Vampire Queen grabbed one of his bananas and flung it in the trash. "What's your problem," demanded Marshall?! He'd stopped saying 'fuck' around her. She got violent when he used foul language. And she could still kick his ass. "I want to know who it is," growled the vampire? "Who," retorted Marshall? "Who're you talking about?!" Their gazes locked, and for a long minute they had a silent staring contest. Finally, Marceline looked away. Marshall rose from the table and headed for the door. "W-where're you going," demanded the Vampire Queen? "Somewhere I can eat something that's not gray," retorted Marshall Lee. Mouth hanging, Marceline watched as her son went across the room, opened the door, and slipped out into the gloom, slamming the door behind him as hard as he could. He left his mother sitting at the kitchen table, crying her eyes out.

 **Since we're dealing with kids, we're going to have a little bit of teen angst and drama. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Billy Mertens was just finishing up on the basketball court when Boniface Bubblegum arrived. The candy-noble came dressed in a dapper track-suit in his signature bubblegum-pink hue. Oddly enough, he'd adopted his mother's style wholeheartedly, while his sister had striven to go her own way. Billy greeted his would-be brother-in-law with a smile and a polite, 'hi, Bon' before going out the gate. Boniface shivered. It was one more of the things that made him nervous about this. Billy hadn't said he _couldn't_ date Fi. In point of fact, Billy had never raised anything that could be remotely construed as an objection to Bubba spending time with Fionna. Still, Bubba feared there was something he was missing, and anyways, a guy liked a little certainty.

"You here t'play or what," asked a voice from behind him?

It was typical of Marshall Lee Abadeer to sneak up behind him like that. He and his mother were two peas in a pod, with Marshall seeming to inherit his mom's penchant for annoying all and sundry with an endless stream of thoughtless and idiotic pranks. Bubba knew his mom loved Marceline like a sister, but he couldn't, for the life of him, understand why, even though he and Marshall had been frenemies seemingly from birth.

Bubba turned from following Billy's retreating back with his eyes to find his opponent floating there in midair on the court. "Are you ever going to use the gate like a normal person," he retorted? Marshall gave him raspberry and said, "why should I be lame like the rest of you when I'm so clearly superior?" The dhampir was always full of such pronouncements. Bubba usually let him go on for a bit. He had ammunition to cut the half-breed down to size if it ever came to that. He'd been there when the supposedly superior half-vampire had gotten himself the mother of all sunburns one afternoon while fooling around at the beach. Marshall Lee had cried like a bitch.

Bubba turned and walked towards him, dribbling the basketball as he went. Just like that, it was on. Breaking into an explosive dash, the princeling dodged past the half-breed, stopped and took a shot at long range. Marshall Lee gave him a slow clap. "Oooh... He actually scores for a change," teased Marshall. Truth be told, Bubba held his own just fine, when Marshall wasn't cheating. Trouble was, cheating was as natural as breathing for the dhampir. Marshall floated instead of walking, and he'd gleefully use his vampire-strength when pushed too hard.

And then there was the banter. Calculated to get under your skin, it started out shocking–talking about your clothes and what they said about you–and got worse. Marshall would gleefully talk about your girlfriend, your sister, even your mom. Bubba had busted his nose when Marshall started calling Princess Bonnibel a MILF. The dhampir had looked for a moment like he'd tear Bubba apart. Instead he'd gotten the hint. He never brought up family again. Dribbling the ball with a look of surprising intensity on his face, Bubba smiled sweetly. Grinning back, Marshall said, "let's do this..." And then he swooped.

Across town, Jake Jr. came strolling up to the front of a large office building, whistling a popular tune by Marceline and the Scream Queens. The shapechanger was wearing her favorite shape. She'd resented her brother early on for suggesting that her birth form was inappropriate and insisting she try this one. Now she enjoyed it. She loved all the attention it brought her.

Humanoids loved it. When she put on a pair of tight pants, they would follow her ass with their eyes and drool. Add a tight top, and they stared all the harder. The more they stared, the easier they were to con.

And Jake Jr. loved a good con.

She conned her parents. She conned her siblings. She even conned her boyfriend. She did it so much, it was reflexive. Even if telling the truth cost nothing, she'd con you. It was almost more about the game than the score, and that was the way she liked it. Today she wore a chick-suit in a pastel gray with a short skirt that hugged tight to her slim frame and a body-hugging jacket over a blue cami designed to emphasize the perky little boobies she sported. Her sister, Charlie had once asked why she didn't puff those up too–to get the looks from the fools–but Junior liked them just fine as they were. More to the point, her boyfriend liked them just as they were too.

The doorman greeted her with a cheery, 'mornin' JJ.' Junior smiled and waved as she passed the thin-mint. He was well-paid to ignore most of what went on here. As far as he knew, Junior was a successful antiquities trader. Mostly she kept her real business away from here. It made a nice front to appease her suspicious boyfriend. She knew well that their little thing got to continue as long as he didn't suspect she was playing the game.

Stepping off the elevator, Junior took a good look around. Finding nothing amiss, she headed for her office. As she approached the door a familiar burst of scent let her know she had company. Her employer always played for clever, sneaking in here to surprise the dogicorn. The crime boss was slick, never touching a damned thing so as to avoid detection, reckoning without the sensitivity of a dog's nose. The shapechanger took note of the differences in the way her office smelled, as she went in to confront the intruder. She knew what this was about. Things were going to escalate again. She wasn't sure why her current employer was in such a hurry, but it was raising the risk dramatically when they were close to eliminating the last hold-outs.

"Thought you wanted to stay off the radar," Junior remarked. Her visitor was sitting in her chair, same as always. Smiling, the crime boss asked, "are you on the radar now?" The crime-lord didn't like the dangerous liaison Junior maintained. While the pillow-talk was occasionally useful, the crime-lord felt Junior would eventually slip up. Junior typically answered that question with her trademark grin. She was _always_ on the radar. That was one reason she kept things going with her current guy. He was quick to warn her off some activities that might have brought her scrutiny if not outright trouble. Of course there were _other_ benefits as well.

Moving on, the crime boss announced, "Dr. J has refused my offers, both for his silence and cooperation as well as for the stolen diamond." "And you want the problem solved," asked the shapechanger? With a smile, the crime-lord replied, "isn't that why you have that mysterious troubleshooter? The one I don't get to meet." Junior smiled. They'd had this conversation before. If her boyfriend caused consternation, the name of her troubleshooter would really light up the circuits. Junior shut the door, moved to the couch, and sat down. They had a fair bit to talk about.

Back at the park, the boys' pickup game was heating up. The score stood fourteen to twelve, mostly due to Bubba's rather effective counters to vamp-boy's cheating. His rocket-powered jump-boots and laser-guidance system had kept the game close letting him match the obnoxious half-breed on the boards and giving him perfect release from the floor. The only thing the young heir couldn't counter was the trash-talking.

"So have you fucked her yet," asked Marshall? Bubba's jaw came open in shock that this idiot would ask something so personal... like _that_! He should have expected it. The conversation had wandered to the upcoming holiday ball, and Bubba had made the mistake of admitting that he was taking Fionna. He really should have anticipated that Marshall would take the conversation in that direction. Vampire-boy had _no_ class.

Face hot and contorted in a frown, the young heir retorted, "that's none of your business!" "So, no," laughed Marshall. Rolling his eyes, Bubba retorted, "honestly! Don't you think of anything else?" Marshall shrugged. Life was short. Why waste it on stupid stuff? "It so happens that getting her parents' permission is not 'stupid stuff'," growled Bubba! "That's a big step... a life-changing step... If you had any sense, you'd see that!" Which comments made the dhampir laugh all the harder. At least he laughed until Bubba beaned him with the basketball.

"Ow, dammit," growled the half-breed. Quick as a flash, he had the basketball, and he demanded, "you wanna' switch this and play dodgeball, bubble-butt?!" "I want you to be _serious_ for a change," Bubba shot back! "My relationship with Fionna is none of your business." "Thought I'd give you some advice," retorted Marshall, "but if you'd rather fumble..." "Maybe I should give _you_ some," said the candy-noble. Marshall's eyebrow quirked. His red eyes burned into Boniface's blue eyes, suggesting that maybe the young heir didn't want to go where he seemed to be going.

"She's my sister, Marshall," rumbled Bubba Bubblegum. Marshall gave him a sly smile and replied, "don't know _what_ you're talking about..." "Do you honestly think I couldn't figure out why Shoko suddenly wanted to give up her view," growled Bubba? Marshall's eyes became very focused. Nodding, the princeling said, "same reason I wanted to move downstairs. It was a chance to sneak out. Captain Finn arranged it..." Now he saw a mild thrill of fear go through his opponent.

Nodding, the prince said, "it was my coming-of-age present. He gave me a chance to go out and explore and do whatever I wanted–without me realizing that he knew. If Shoko's taken that room, then the Captain already knows what she's doing." Which meant that he probably knew who she was doing it _with_. The dhampir got very pale, and Bubba thought the message was delivered. If it hadn't already happened, it was quite likely it wasn't _going_ to happen. Their guardian-angel wouldn't allow it.

Marshall Lee Abadeer pretty much lost all interest in the game after that. The change was... _striking_. Bubba knew that Marshall or 'Marshy' as Fionna called him, had just as much history with Finn Mertens as Bubba himself did. Things Princess Bonnibel let slip suggested that Finn had done his best to try and be a dad for Marshall because the boy had none, but Marshall's mom had, more or less, put a stop to that. Which was a pity because Marshall sure could have used somebody to ground him. More to the point, Bubba thought that Finn Mertens might well have been the one person in all of Ooo that the dhampir was actually afraid of besides his crazy mother.

In the end, the half-breed declared that he was bored of the game and just wandered off, his head in a cloud and looking a lot like he had just lost something. Bubba gathered up his things and headed for home himself. He had an experiment to finish, and he had to look at the estimates for food supplies in the Kingdom. Again. His mother had become obsessed with that, and it sometimes seemed the only time he got to see her was when she called to hector him about what the latest estimates said.

As Boniface Bubblegum headed home, Marshall Lee Abadeer went wandering across the grasslands in a fog of fear and doubt. He couldn't have told you why he'd decided to flirt/hit-on the candy-princess. Honestly, he would have had to admit he was a little drunk and a little stupid at the time because his mother had, for once, come to one of his shows and actually hung around for the whole thing, basically acting as a great big buzz-kill. Maybe he was horny. He fucked a lot of girls, and Shoko was certainly pretty enough that he wouldn't have minded hitting that.

Maybe it was the danger. He'd actually screwed the wife of one of his patrons at an after-concert party. Bangin' the candy-princess would definitely have been dangerous. If it wasn't the fact that his mother would have a cow-and-a-half over the whole business, since, for some reason, he was no longer really allowed to hang with Bonnie or Finn's kids, it was the fact that Bonnie Bubblegum would quite likely shit a brick if her precious angel came up preggers. Either way you looked at it, he was playing with fire even looking cross-eyed at the girl, and he'd really turned up the heat when he suggested getting naked. Naturally, Miss Precious had been too oblivious to realize what he was asking, and he sort of played it off like he was joking anyway.

Now though.

The very thought of what Finn's reaction would be scared Marshall witless. His mother had told him graphic stories about the way Finn took care of the aliens seventeen years back. She'd gleefully told Marshall all about how Finn had dispatched his own father, cutting the old man's arm off and then slapping the shit out of the old man with his own limb. And Marshall had seen Finn _move_. He'd come over one day while Finn was teaching his two daughters how to fight, and he'd sort of joked and laughed his way into sparring with the hero. He'd thought that, with his strength and speed, he could dribble the old man around like it was nothing, but he'd never seen a guy move the way Finn did. He was pushing forty, and Marshall was deathly afraid of even looking at him the wrong way.

At the same time, a part of him was getting attached to Shoko. She was funny, kind of the way Bubba _wasn't_ funny. If Bubba had inherited Bonnie's prissy ways and stuffy attitude, Shoko was the free-wheeling part of her that Marshall's mom said the Princess hid from the world. He sort of, kind of... _liked_ Shoko. Not that way, mind you. He wasn't sure he could ever like a girl _that_ way, but he did kind of like having her around. _So what do you do, Marshall,_ he asked himself? Truth be told, he didn't know.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

"Six o'clock," announced Simone as she feathered the clutch. As her two daughters watched, the family's truck lurched into motion and tore out of there. Mom still drove like a maniac after all these years. She showed no sign at all of ever learning how to drive like a sane person. Fionna rolled her eyes. Between her mom's driving and her dad wanting to fuck around all the time, she was in a constant state of embarrassment. "C'mon," muttered Fionna. "Nope," replied Star. "See you later." Fionna stared at her. With an airy wave of her hand, the wood-nymph shouldered her bag, announcing, "got stuff of my own to do." And she set off into the crowd, leaving Fionna all by herself there on the corner.

"Spend a boring afternoon by yourself," muttered the blonde! "See if I care!" She was still a little self-conscious about this, and she had been hoping Star would accompany her. Still muttering curses, the beautiful girl set off into the crowd bound for magician-corner. The city's flea-market often attracted wizards these days, and Fionna had contacts there who were willing to buy up the junk she dragged in from the wilderness for a decent price. She was getting closer and closer to buying Banana-Man's truck. She just had a little bit more to go.

Reaching the row of stalls set aside for Patrick's brethren, Fionna started looking for her target. Abracadaniel was a creepy dude who was forever trying to look down her shirt or up her skirt. She knew he watched her butt move, and he stared at her knobs so hard it was like he was tryin' to light 'em on fire. He was the reason Fionna had started wearing shorts under her skirts. Emeraude suggested it after hearing Abracadaniel talk about Fionna in Wiz-City. Of course the very next week, the wizard had been sporting two black eyes and a broken left arm, suggesting Fionna's step-mom had done more than _listen_.

Today Fionna slipped into the shadows of an alley and took off the track-suit she'd been wearing. Underneath she wore her shortest skirt–no shorts–and a top and bra that let her boobies swing a little. Ordinarily she didn't like that as it threw her off balance when fighting, but she had a reason today. She'd learned from Star's grandmom that a pussy-starved man could be twisted to give a girl what she wanted with a little persuasion. After stuffing her track-suit into her bag, she unfastened her hat and tucked it into her bag, letting her long, blonde hair hang loose. Smiling, the pretty girl went back out into the bazaar and ducked into Abracadaniel's stall.

The wizard was in the back talking to his creepy friends as Fionna approached. All four sized her up as she drew close. Just as predicted, all four were focused on her knockers. Clearing his suddenly dry throat, Abracadaniel asked, "so, uhm, Fionna. What have you brought us today?" Smiling that dazzling smile of hers, the blonde replied, "got some stuff from the City of Crystal Fiends. Stopping before his table, the adventuress bent and hefted the bag with the junk in it. Carefully, she spread it out on the table. When she looked up, she found his eyes locked on her chest.

All but mesmerized by her gently swaying boobies, the wizard hardly noticed what she had for sale. "Got a crystal geode," said she. "Cut it out of the golem it was powering. I want a hundred for that." "Uh, sure," burbled the wizard. Just then, one of the other wizards chimed in, "I'll pay a hundred-fifty..." Startled, Fionna turned to face the other wizard, making those awesome knobs joggle. A third offered, "one-seventy-five..." Fionna grinned. She had a bidding war. This was going to be easier than she thought.

Miles away, Simone walked into her parents' place to find Simon Petrikov sitting at the desk by the window working on a speech. "Hi, dad," announced the former wizard. "Oh, hey, punkin," Simon replied. As the beautiful woman approached, he got up and greeted her with a hug. Kissing her pale cheek, he said, "what brings you?" Smiling, Simone replied, "Finn says I can work on your campaign!" "That's wonderful," cried Simon!

Coming through the door with a coffee pot, Betty rolled her eyes and said, "when are you going to stand up to that man?" Simone frowned in puzzlement at her. "You're a woman, not his slave," teased Betty. "Why do you need his permission?" Flushing, Simone reminded her, "Emeraude and Finn have a great deal of work to do, mom. It stands to reason that I stay home with the kids." Which was another thing that Betty had never been thrilled with. Wish spell or not, she still thought Simone should have cut Finn Mertens' little balls off and pinned his ears back. She would have taken the little girl, Star, into their house since they were kind of stuck with her, but she would have sent that little bitch, Emeraude, packing.

This particular conversation was very nearly as old as Simone was. She cut her losses and moved on. She wanted to know all the particulars about the campaign and how she could help. Simon moved the conversation to the dining room where they had space, and the three sat down to talk. "Well, I can't really begin officially until the Grand Master passes away," explained the older man. "It's considered bad form. Right now, I'm just kind of feeling people out and seeing where things stand." He'd done a lot of offending during his centuries as Ice-King, and there were a lot of people who still remembered that.

"I'd be happy to be your public face, daddy," said Simone. "I can't go into Wiz-City, but I can hit some of the outlying places and talk to the wizards there." Nodding, Betty said, "that could work. That could work well." She could get into wizard city. She often had official business that carried her there. Working from inside and outside, they could do a pretty good job of covering the waterfront.

"So what's the pitch," asked the pretty pale-haired woman? Simon sighed and admitted, "I'm havin' writer's block, punkin. Don't have one yet." "Daddy," howled the young woman! " _You_ can't think of something to say?!" Simon blushed and chuckled. It seemed kind of crazy. All he'd done was talk when he was Ice-King. He'd literally had a thousand years of talking under his belt. "Then that's what we go with, dad," said Simone. "You've got a thousand years of experience in the world. In spite of the package, you're the oldest wizard there is. We remind them that you were old when the Grand Master was a boy, and you know more about magic than anybody alive!"

Nodding, Betty said, "she's right, Simon. You're the best candidate for the job because you've literally been through it all." Simon sat back and thought about that, while his daughter and wife bandied that back and forth for a bit. While they talked about variations on the theme and the best ways to couch the idea, the door opened, admitting Simone's 'little brother'. "Hi, Pat," Simone greeted him. Rising, she went over and hugged him.

Patrick was unsurprised to find his 'sister' there. It was one of the great ironies of his life that the girl he was half in love with was, in a way, his niece. There had been a time when he was honestly a little creeped out by that. He'd gotten over it. They weren't biologically related, after all. Honestly, there had even been a time when he'd been scoping Simone's bad bod. She was his 'sister' in name only, after all, and she was hot stuff for a young adolescent mind. That had gone creepy for a time too when he learned that his dad had subconsciously created Simone out of memories of Pat's mom. He couldn't lust after his _mom_. Of course that brought him right back to Fionna. Shit, he wanted to bang her like a drum.

"How was the library," asked Betty? Pat barely avoided rolling his eyes. His mom spent an inordinate amount of time riding him about going to school and working hard. He practically had to lie to get a few hours to himself. "It was ok, mom," replied Patrick. Stretching, he said, "I'm'a go do some reading for a while." "Ok, honey," replied Betty. "Just make sure you're cleaned up for dinner." With a nod and a wave for Simone, Pat got on his way, and the three adults returned to the prior conversation.

As they discussed ways to help get Simon's message out, Simone asked, "how's Pat doing in school? I haven't seen him at our place in a while." "Fine," replied Betty. "Still getting A's." Which led her back around to the problems, as she saw them, with Simone. "This could go easier if you had your powers back," said the brunette. Simone flushed. That was another astoundingly unpleasant conversation topic that her mother wouldn't let go of. She didn't _want_ her powers back. Oh, there were times when she needed to be in two places at once that she wished she had the power to fly again. At the same time, she would have to admit to honestly being a little traumatized by life with the Ice-Tiara. Fortunately, her dad understood, and he could usually get Betty to back off. Today was no exception, as Simon distracted his wife with a question about one of her co-workers. In short order, Betty was listing all the wizards she knew in the agriculture department.

Miles away, Nikos Baklava strode into the back room of his shop to a shocking sight. There was a woman there. Ordinarily that would have excited the randy Greek pastry's erotic sensibilities. She was petite, just like he liked them, her skin flawless, and her blue-green eyes stunning behind the domino mask she wore. Unfortunately, this woman was at the door to his safe. Robbing him. "What you think you're doing," demanded the candy-person?! "Picking up the payment you owe," replied the wood-nymph.

Nikos flushed. He hadn't believed that he would actually have to make good on that. He'd been in a bad spot, and he'd made an agreement with the East-Side Gang under duress. He'd agreed to pay them thirty-percent of his profits from his secret, underground bingo games, straight off the top. He'd slipped out of the East-Siders' drinking den and forgotten all about it. Seeing this creature here sent him into a towering rage. Hefting the kitchen knife he'd been carrying, he rushed forward.

The wood-nymph rose in one fluid motion, stepped inside his reach, and delivered an open-handed blow to his chin, stunning him. With a deft karate-chop, she numbed his hand, causing him to drop the knife. Then she grabbed him by the hair, and things got really desperate. In short order Nikos was sitting in his favorite chair in the office, tied up and staring impotently as the little woman went back to work at the lock on his safe.

Minutes later, Maria walked in, looking for him. His little angel stopped stock still at what she was seeing. For a moment, the two stared at each other. Then, as Nikos' daughter turned to run, the wood-nymph whispered a word, hitting her with a sleeping spell. Maria went to her knees, head spinning. Then, momentarily, the wood-nymph grabbed her by the shoulder, pulled her fully into the room, and shut the door, locking it this time. She lashed the younger Baklava to the desk before turning to her 'host'. "Ok," said she. "Enough playing. Where's the money." Terrified of losing his precious daughter, Nikos spilled his guts, giving her the combination to the safe and even telling her about the hidden safe in the closet. "Thanks," said the wood-nymph, as she turned back to the safe on the floor.

Elsewhere, Fionna was deep into negotiations with Abracadaniel and his buddies. They'd bought most all of her stuff this time. It was just like her step-grandma said. The sight of her awesome boobies had turned their brains to _mush_! She'd made sure that they could see down her top, and she'd done lots of bending over to get stuff out of her bag to give them a good look. She'd gotten great results, with them paying top-dollar for everything. Now they were down to the last pieces.

"Dug this prism out of a wall," said she. "It was part of a lock on the main gates. We had t'bust the lock to get out again." Ron James shouted, "a Cypher-Stone! I've been looking for one of those for ten years! I'll take it!" Abracadaniel muttered curses. He didn't have the money to compete with Ron. He had to watch as Fionna stretched herself across the table and dropped the jewel in Ron's lap, making Ron giddy. At least he got a good bit of side-boob! Laying out a fabulous necklace, the pretty teen declared, "this was part of the stash I got off that dead adventurer. It was around his neck–the only piece of 'em that wasn't turned into crystal!" "A grid-person defensive shield," shouted Forest Wizard! "Really," breathed Fionna?! Her dad had a shield, given to him by that snarky bitch, Grid-Face Princess. She was tempted to keep this one for herself.

"I-I'll give you eight-hundred for it," stammered Forest-Wizard! More even than a chance to ogle those prize boobies, he was excited to have such a potent defense. "Oh," said Fionna. "Ok." Eight-hundred would put her over the top and get her Banana Man's old truck. She leaned forward, and he licked his dry lips as he stared at those jiggling boobies. Abracadaniel asked, "anything left? Anything?" Licking her lush lips, Fionna put on a thoughtful frown and said, "lemme' see..." She went rummaging around in the bag, coming up with a strange pinkish crystal. "Huh," said she. It was the same color as the sword she'd had. And then, suddenly the crystal transformed into a sword. "Oh," she squealed! "This is the sword I took off one of the dead guards!" She'd wondered what had happened to it when she was looking at her loot earlier in the week.

"Wow," she squealed, as she waved it around. "It shrinks and retracts!" Negotiations forgotten, she focused her mind on trying to figure out how to make it retract. "Uh," said Abracadaniel, "it might..." Fionna shushed him. She started trying out command-words and uttering secret phrases she'd heard. "I think...," interrupted the wizard. "I'm tryin'a figure this out," growled Fionna. "Maybe if you just _thought_ about it," suggested Ron James. Fionna stopped stock still. She'd never thought of that.

Focusing her will, she thought about the sword retracting and found herself holding the little jewel again. "Wow," squealed Fionna! "Like, _wow_! I've got a retractable sword!" Turning to Ron, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. Excitedly, she pocketed her new sword, folded up the wad of cash they gave her, and walked out onto the street. She left Ron James with a sticky, nasty _mess_ in his pants and Abracadaniel ready to brain him. That should have been _his_ kiss!

Outside, Fionna counted the spoils as she pondered whether she should change now or wait. As she counted the bills in her hand, hostile eyes watched her. Biff and Bork were low-level operators in the South-Side Gang, looking to make their bones and move up. Only trouble was they were two of the most inept cons in the Kingdom. Both had been told to show up today with their tithe or disappear from town. Reasoning that they could maybe rob a merchant or one of their customers, Biff had led them here. The sight of the humanoid girl with that wad of bills had him excited.

Seeing where his eyes were going, Bork reminded him, "that's Finn the Human's kid!" Which Biff already knew. Testily, he growled, "I don't see any Finn..." Without a further word, Biff set off to go take care of business. Reluctantly, Bork followed. The two thugs strolled across to where Fionna was just finishing up counting the bills. She had twelve-hundred. With the two thousand she already had, she could finally buy the truck. "Ok, sister," growled Biff, "give us the bread." Fionna gave them a look of puzzlement. She was facing two unlikely characters–a giant gingerbread man and a talking chocolate bar. She was hardly intimidated.

"This is a stick-up, see," said Bork. "Hand it over." Frowning, the stubborn young girl said, "I had t'work hard and bash lots of monsters to get this. I'm _not_ giving it to you two losers!" "'zat a fact," demanded Biff? "Yeah," said Fionna, and she stuffed the wad of cash down the front of her shirt and into her bra. Irritated, Biff said, "grab her!" Bork, the gingerbread man, moved behind the young girl and grabbed both her arms. Biff strode up and reached for her cleavage. Fionna said, "you better not!" Biff chuckled, "or _what_ , girlie?" As Bork held her, his boss tried to reach into Fionna's tee-shirt. The pretty blonde saw red. That was when the beat-down started.

The blonde bashed the back of her head into Bork's face, cracking his nose and causing him to let go. She immediately stomped on both his feet, leaving him torn between clutching his face or soothing his battered tootsies. Reaching back into last week, the stacked heroine delivered an uppercut to Biff's jaw that shattered the bone and relieved him of most of his teeth. The thug tottered there a moment, then fell backwards, out cold. Fionna spun to face Bork, who shouted, "you're gonna' spit teeth f'er that!"

Fionna drove her foot into his middle, doubling him up. She followed that with a knee to the chin. When the gingerbread man went down on his back, Fionna casually walked around him. He found himself staring up the long length of her delectable legs past the tight skirt she was wearing to the bulge of her big rack, jutting out in her tee-shirt, with the smaller bulge of the wad of bills lumped up against the one on his left. Bemusedly, he decided that Finn the Human's little girl was really smokin' hot.

Still angry, the pretty bunny did a shoulder drop, banging her elbow into his midsection, knocking the wind out of him. She grabbed his left leg and bent it until he screamed and begged for mercy. Just to drive the message home, the adventuress grabbed his other leg and hoisted the big man aloft. He found himself hanging upside down, staring through the gap between her sleek thighs. Just before she pile-drove him into the ground, a strange thought intruded. Shit she had nice legs. As his head slammed into the hard petrified-candy pavers, the last sight he saw was the pink bunny embroidered on Fionna the Human's panties crammed into his face.

When the Banana Guards finally arrived, they found their boss's daughter sitting on top of the two thugs as they lay unconscious in the street. "Boy," grumbled Fionna! "It's about time you jokers showed up! I'm late!" And she still had to change, too. Leaving her dad's dudes to clean up the mess, Fionna rushed towards the restaurant across the street. She had to get her track-suit back on before her mom showed up and saw her dressed that way or she'd be grounded for life.

Hours after Fionna had left the square, her father returned again, this time to deal with a far more serious crime. Nikos Baklava's Greek Kitchen and Bakery looked like a scene out of a TV show as the Captain of the Guards came strolling up in the early-evening sun. The guards were out in force, keeping the curious at bay, while a couple of his detectives were inside investigating the crime that had brought them here. Finn took a good look at the cordon around the place. He was forever on guard against these guys back-sliding into the depths of useless that he'd dragged them out of. They did that when he took vacation. Work didn't get done. Crooks ran a little wild, and chaos ruled the streets. Fortunately nobody was slacking today.

Striding into the restaurant, Finn found the investigators moving around, examining this and that. He was still working these guys. Ever since Simon and Betty had told him about Crime Scene Investigation, he'd been trying to whip these guys into shape to do a good job at it. Half the time they just went through the motions, though. Shaking his head at the sight of one of his guys dusting a pie for fingerprints, Finn headed through the restaurant and into the back.

There he found the victims, who'd only just been untied, getting interviewed by his detectives. "What we got," asked Finn? "Strong-arm robbery," replied the guard. "I think." "What do you mean, 'I think'," asked Finn with a frown? The detective replied, "can't get anything out of him. He and his kid were tied up in here until somebody came by and found them. That safe was open, but he won't tell us what happened." Rolling his eyes, Finn turned to the talking pastry and said, "ok, what gives. You got robbed, but you won't admit it?" "Don't have anything to say to you, Mr. Policeman," grumped Nikos. "At least tell us for your kid's sake," said Finn. "Think of what could have happened to her." The Greek pastry said not a word.

Taking a chance, Finn said, "well, at least you didn't get wasted like the guys at the Slick's Cider." Both candy-people stared at him in fright. The papers had been full of lurid details about the terrible massacre there. Calmly, without even a smirk, he told them about what had happened to the Notorious Pups. He talked about how the whole thing had started with a chance confrontation between the chief gangster and some seemingly random stranger and escalated from there. "Whacked 'em all," said Finn. Shaking his head, he said, "it was kind of a mess. Turned Blombo into pulp and squished Jamaica too. We had to scrape 'em off the walls..."

Just as he'd hoped, the younger Baklava broke. "I-I'll tell you," she howled! "Just don't let her get me!" Uttering soothing words, Finn led the young lady out into the hallway and shut the door. Smiling gently at the younger woman, Finn said, "ok... So tell me what happened..."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

This one was bad. The perp had left almost nobody alive to tell the tale. Out of two-dozen humanoid slavers, she'd left just three breathing. Finn walked through the place working his way through the fight while his son watched. It was uncanny the way he could do that. Billy imagined that it was the hundreds of battles he'd fought. Someday the young man imagined he'd have skills like that too. As the younger Mertens watched in awe, Finn recounted every step of the fight. "Seven minutes," said the Captain, "start to finish." Nobody would have had time really to call for the guards. The survivors were too beat up to even try.

The whole business seemed to be about a strongbox. The perp had gone straight for it and mowed down everybody in the way. "Any ideas, dad," asked Billy? "I'm not sure," remarked Finn. "Could be money," opined Spike. The portly punch-bowl had just come in. "Maybe," sighed Finn. He wasn't sure this bird was a thief. She hadn't touched any money at the Pup Gang's hideout, and she hadn't taken all of Baklava's money either. That suggested somebody was pulling the strings–maybe paying her off to hit these people. It was a very worrisome case. They needed this girl off the street before she started a gang war.

"Ok," said Finn. "Interview our new buds when they come out of surgery. I'm'a go home for supper." Spike acknowledged those orders as Finn motioned for Billy to accompany him. Outside, Finn asked, "you going to be home for dinner?" Billy blushed. He hadn't been good with that. His girl had been more clingy and needy than usual, and he'd been spending evenings with her, irritating his mom. "I'll be home, dad," said he. "I swear..." Acknowledging that, Finn got on his way.

The hero did a lot of thinking on the drive back home. In the early going, he'd continued to walk into the Kingdom. The exercise was good, and it was an excellent chance to unwind and just _think_. As time wore on and his responsibilities to his kids grew, he'd had to give up some of that, first learning to take the train and later using an official Banana Guards truck. Now he did his thinking in the car on the half-hour ride in the mornings and evenings. Tonight he was troubled by nagging suspicion. He had a fear that he somehow _knew_ the person cutting a swath through the Candy Kingdom's underworld.

The familiar purple-painted truck parked near the treefort's door told him his second wife was home, though oddly enough the broken down example Simone drove was gone. He'd been wanting to replace it–and maybe hand it over to one of their daughters. Simone had been insistent on saving the money, so Finn backed down. It wasn't typical of her to still be out so close to dinner, so his concern ratcheted up a couple notches. Parking the truck at the end of the driveway, Finn grabbed the mail before heading inside.

Emeraude was working on dinner when Finn the Human walked into the kitchen. Back home after four days in Wizard City running errands, she was dressed down in a back-baring, knee-length purple dress. Finn walked up behind his wife of seventeen years and slipped his arms around her waist. The hips were a little broader now and the butt a little fuller, but he kinda' liked that. "Mmm," sighed the wood-nymph as he kissed her cheek. "Miss me, donk?" "Yeah, donkette," replied Finn. "After dinner, maybe you can show me how much," sighed his lady. "You guys swap spots," asked Finn? Emeraude giggled for answer.

Simone and Emeraude had something of a rivalry going, one as old as their joint marriage to Finn. The question of the day, the hour, the minute, was which of them was prettier. That got inconclusively answered by their spouse, Finn the Human, as each did her best to try and seduce him out from under the other. They were nominally supposed to be alternating days, with one or the other getting to sleep with him, but Simone would try to entice him with those big knobs of hers, inciting him to rail _her_ instead of Emeraude. Emeraude would wiggle those awesome hips and shake that cute little ass and try to lure Finn to her instead. In spite of the _schedule_ , Finn never knew what he was going to encounter on a date-night. It kept their love life fresh.

Serious again, Finn asked, "what ever happened to your old gear?" Puzzled by the change in subject, Huntress replied, "Simone donated most of it... Why?" "Your old bracer," he persisted? "Locked in a trunk in the attic," replied his second wife. She was curious now. "Is something wrong," she asked? Finn had stepped back. He was leaning against the breakfast nook. With a heavy sigh, he explained, "somebody's jacking your style. There's a troublemaker in Candy-Town raising hell. She dresses like you. I think she may even be a wood-nymph." "Don't look at me," groused the former Huntress Wizard. "I couldn't fit into that stuff if I tried."

She and Simone both had a little middle-age spread going. When she wasn't dressed formally for work, she most often rocked mom-jeans. Kissing, her cheek, he said, "ok, babe. Just keep an eye out, would you?" He had enough problems right now. Seeing the stress he was under, Emeraude caught his face and whispered, "that's not all that's going on, is there?" With a sigh, Finn said, "the price of food just went up again. There's a lot of people in Candy-Town getting irritated, and I can't get through to Bonnie that she's got to pay attention to it."

Candy-Town was the Kingdom's slum, where citizens who couldn't make it in the more affluent sections tended to congregate. It was the first colony Bonnie had formed, as she exiled all the non-desirables from her original city. It was also where most of the trouble came from. Bonnie had always tried to control the population of candy-citizens to match the resources she had. Now, with five colonies spread across thousands of square miles, she had lost some of that control, and they were breeding like rabbits. It was especially bad in Candy-Town, which was overcrowded and now starting to look like a slum. They had had to put down a riot not long ago, ironically started by the Prophet James.

James had returned from the wastelands a changed man/thing. He'd set up shop on a corner one day and started preaching. He'd railed against Princess Bubblegum, declaring her ban on cloning and research into reviving the dead were evil. He'd preached that it was a candy-person's right to live forever. After all, Glob had made them that way. The gullible fools there had gotten up and burned down two Banana Guard stations. Now pressure was building for Bonnie to drag every dead candy-person back to life. Even Finn could see where that would lead–an explosion in population that the food supply couldn't support.

"That's bad news," sighed Huntress. The Candy-Kingdom supplied food to a number of other kingdoms. If food costs went up here, they were going to go up in Wizard-City and a number of other places, upsetting the apple-cart. "What can I do to help," she asked? "Keep your eyes open," said Finn. "Things are under control right now, but we can't handle much for surprises." "Ok," said she. "Go get cleaned up. Dinner'll be ready soon." "Where's Simone," asked Finn? "Running late," replied the wood-nymph. "She got held up at her dad's... She should be back at any minute."

Finn gave his lady a kiss, then went up to their bathroom and jumped in the shower. By the time he got out and back downstairs, Simone was back. "Hey, honey," the beautiful woman greeted him. She was dressed smartly in a business suit, and she about knocked him for a loop. "Wow," was about all he managed to say. Simone blushed and grinned. Finn walked up to her and gave her a soft kiss. That kiss got interrupted by the sound of a wheezy horn from outside. Finn went to the window to find his daughters outside next to a beat-up old truck. It appeared his bunny had been as good as her word.

All three parents went down to the driveway to find Fionna and Star arguing over Fionna's acquisition. Apparently the young wizard thought her sister had been ripped off. As the three parents approached, Star turned and said, "daddy, she bought a jalopy!" Fuming, Fionna shouted, "stop saying that, you knob!" Taking Finn's hand, Star dragged her father to the passenger door saying, "dad, the floors are rotten!" You could run alongside the truck. While still in the truck.

"Is this true, Fionna," asked Simone? The teen's blush said it all. With an irritated sigh, the family matriarch reminded her daughter, "you were supposed to _wait_ , Fionna, so your brother or father could go with you." "But mom," howled the teen! "It can be fixed! It can all be fixed!" "And that's just what needs to happen before you drive it again," retorted Emeraude. There was an unpleasant dance there as Fionna looked to her birth mother. That dance was almost as old as their strange, conjoined family. It had come less and less often as the kids got older–and learned that it would never work. It didn't work now, either. Without a word, Simone held out her hand for the keys. With a sigh, Fionna handed them over.

As the tag-team glowered at the stubborn middle child, Billy rolled up in his own truck. As Finn looked over his daughter's car, his son got out–along with an unwelcome guest. Finn hadn't seen much of Jake Junior since running her out of the Kingdom four years ago. That had caused a lot of friction with his brother, but eventually Jake recovered. Now Finn straightened at the sight of his niece coming up the driveway in skinny-jeans and a tee-shirt. "Hey uncle Finn," the crooked shape-changer greeted him. "Junior," Finn replied.

Voice strained, Simone asked, "what brings you by?" With a shrug, the dog-icorn replied, "bumped into Bill here in town. He said he was goin' home to get grub, so I sort of tagged along." An irritated Emeraude said, "dinner'll be on the table in five..." Without a further word, she turned and went upstairs with Simone close behind. Fionna winced. Her two evil moms didn't look like they were ever going to let go of that thing at the flea market. Turning to Fionna, Finn said, "you can have NEPTR help you with the welding." Then he too went inside.

Simone was sitting at the table when Finn reached the kitchen. E was putting dinner on a serving platter. Finn sent her to her spot at the table and took over the serving. The kids came trooping upstairs after a brief detour through the powder room to wash their hands. The quartet settled around the table, with Jake Junior occupying the seat at the end. Finn finished putting supper on the platter and, moving to the table, he kissed Simone and Emeraude before setting it down. As soon as his butt hit the seat, his voracious family tore into dinner.

In spite of her little setback, Fionna excitedly chattered away about her day, dominating the conversation. Scoring the truck was just the highlight of a pretty awesome day. She'd aced her karate exam, smashing every opponent. Their little tomboy had sunk sixteen baskets at gym-class, and then run a five minute mile at the track meet after school.

"And the term paper," asked Emeraude? The young girl gave her an entirely disingenuous look. Speaking slowly, the wood-nymph reminded her, "the one I helped you research, Fionna? What did you get for a grade?" The tomboy's face said it all. She'd probably barely gotten a passing grade. Simone found herself getting irritated at her offspring. "I'm _dumb_ , ok," muttered Fionna. "I got all dad's fightin' genes..." Which was about as good as saying her father was stupid too. Star chuckled at her sister's response. Emeraude glared at her. Studiously the younger wood-nymph looked away.

Simone said, "you're not _dumb_ , Fionna. You need to apply yourself." "But, mom," howled the teen, "why do I need all that boring junk? I'm... I wanna' go adventuring. Like dad." Having seen the scars her husband carried, Simone replied, "you mean with missing teeth, broken bones, and scars all over?" Both father and daughter blushed. Finn was proud to own up to his mistakes though. "Maybe if you learn some stuff, you can go adventuring and not end up a scar-faced hag before your time," he said. Fionna sputtered, but Finn had moved on.

Turning to his other daughter, the hero asked, "and you? What are _you_ up to?" "Oh, nothing, daddy," said Star. "Just goin' to school and hangin' out n'stuff." Which Finn didn't quite believe. Star was a bright kid, and she got good grades in school. At the same time, she was their serial shit-disturber, with a habit of getting into things she shouldn't. The little wood-nymph wasn't the hellion Fi was. She didn't get into fights at school, and the rate of incidents between the two ran ten or fifteen to one in Fionna's favor. What Star lacked in quantity, though, she more than made up for in quality. The most memorable incident was the day she glued a teacher's pants to his chair. She'd sworn it was an accident, but her mother never believed it for a minute.

Jake Junior put her oar in the water then, asking Billy how he liked following in his dad's footsteps. Billy gave her a puzzled look. "You know," said Junior. "Running around saving peeps, goin' on adventures..." Billy shrugged. It was a job. He was doing a job that he was good at. Shaking her head, Junior said, "you need to get out more, cousin..." Simone came to her son's rescue, asking, "and _you_ , Jake? What have you been up to." She'd fallen out with Finn's niece when she found the wench using Fionna as lookout in one of her scams. Nor was Emeraude exactly keen on her. The once and former Huntress Wizard had been in and out of scrapes and tight-spots in her troubled youth. She'd survived by the grace of Glob. The last thing _she_ wanted was to see Star repeat those mistakes.

Jake Junior played artful dodger. She never exactly told them what she did now to earn her bread. She implied, and she suggested, allowing Simone and the others to fill in the blanks. Finn suspected she was up to her old habits again, and he decided he'd have to watch her. He might have to run her out of town again. That would cost him with Jake, but he didn't see a way out of it. Junior had a habit of wreaking havoc with the lives of little people. It wasn't even about the money sometimes. She just enjoyed raising hell for the sake of raising hell. And when she wanted money... well, things got just that much worse.

Junior spun a yarn that had them all enthralled, as she explained all the distant places she'd been–even to the Frozen Yogurt Kingdom, a thousand miles from the Candy Kingdom across the wastelands. Finn even found himself a little amused as she spun lie after lie, getting them all wound up until even Simone was on the edge of her seat. Fionna was excited by the thought of fighting goo-bros, just like her dad and mom had, and even Billy was a little excited by the idea of seeing mutants from the Mushroom War. Of course Finn knew that Bonnie had annihilated the mutants ten years ago, wiping nearly all of them from the face of Ooo. It was highly unlikely that Jake Junior had seen any, much less fought them.

As dinner wrapped up, the shapechanger got on her way, with Star walking her down to the door. Finn put Fionna on kitchen-duty, which she promptly roped her brother into. Finn and Emeraude followed Simone upstairs to their bedroom. Shedding the suit she'd been wearing, Simone went into the bath and washed her hair as her husband and her friend asked her about the Charity Ball that Bonnie had thrown six years ago.

Finn found himself crossing his fingers, knowing that six years was a long blippin' time to remember something so unimportant. Still, if anybody could remember an event from back then, it was Simone. His wife pondered their question, as she rinsed off her hair and grabbed a towel from the rack. Face curled in a thoughtful expression, the beautiful ex-sorceress came strolling out of the bath with her hair wild and dripping.

Running the towel over her hair, Simone offered, "I did take most of Huntress's stuff down to the charity ball, but I remember missing one outfit... Found it in the laundry after we came back..." Huntress frowned. "What did you do with it," asked the wizard? She tried not to sound anxious, but she was getting the feeling that the strangeness Finn reported might well be tied to her own home. With a shrug, Simone replied, "put it in that old trunk upstairs..." Finn suddenly had a sinking feeling.

Simone had moved on. Kissing Emeraude's cheek, she said, "he's all yours." She'd had him to herself much of the last few weeks while her friend was in Wizard City working. And, more to the point, she had some work to do on her dad's campaign. Giving Finn a hot kiss designed to wake up his 'little buddy', the pretty housewife got on her way, heading back downstairs to use Finn's office. "Hmmm," murmured Emeraude, as she ran her finger up Finn's hard stomach. Her donk was still built like a wall, and he made a tasty package. Truth be told, after days in Wizard City dealing with the inmates of the asylum, she was a little horny herself.

Finn reached out, pulled his woman into his arms, and kissed her, slipping his tongue into her mouth. As they kissed, the wizard-woman stroked his hard body, feeling the heavy muscle under her fingertips. He was her beautiful man, and she loved every inch of him. As Finn caressed her soft body, stroking the minute ridges of her spine, Emeraude touched him, feeling the hard muscle of his ass, squeezing him there as she pressed her hot body against him. She could feel his big pecker sticking out, fat and long, and her mind went back to the last time she'd ridden that big thing.

Breaking the kiss, the sexy wood-nymph dropped to her knees. Unbuckling his pants, she reached inside and fumbled with his undies a minute. She and Simone had fought, oddly enough, over _his_ underwear. Simone liked old-fashioned boxers. Emeraude liked banana-hammocks. They'd compromised on boxer-briefs.

Fishing out her favorite toy, the wizard sighed heavily, her breath tickling his purple knob. Finn grimaced. That felt weird, but strangely good. The wizard stuck her tongue out and ran the tip down the length of his hard dick from his tip to his hairy balls and back. Her honey let out a strangled moan, telling her she was hitting the right notes. Her fingers caressed his heavy balls, while she rained kisses on his fat shaft. "E...," he moaned. "I know it's been a while since I did this, baby," breathed the wizard, "but you're really getting into this..." He was standing there with his muscles all gone rigid and his hands clenched as she licked and kissed his fat log, while she stroked his sack.

Popping the knob into her mouth, she sucked and licked him, running her tongue all around his tip, tasting the first dribbles of his goo. When she touched his opening, that was all that was needed. His butt clenched, and he shot off in her mouth, drowning her tongue in his sticky stuff. Drawing back, the pretty sorceress teased him by holding her mouth open while she ran her tongue through the nasty mess. Any thought that he would go soft immediately fled as he caught sight of that nasty act. When she swallowed that sticky goo and went down on him again, his hands caught her hair, and he almost found himself jamming his rod into her mouth.

Drawing back, she licked his tip, saying, "Simone must not have been treating you good, baby. You can do it if you want..." So saying, she slipped her thin lips back over his meat. Simone had been spending a lot of time at her dad's place, working his campaign, and Finn had been stuck at work. Holding her hair, Finn began to slide his hard dong in and out of her mouth, while she sucked almost painfully hard on his fat pecker. It didn't take long before he was going faster and then faster still. With a strangled cry, he went over again. Drawing back, she caught his hot goo on her beautiful face. Staring down into her grinning face, he said, "shit you suck it good..." It was another of those things that the wood-nymph competed with her friend over. It was also the one thing where Emeraude had her hands-down. Simone had been forced to admit that Emeraude gave a better blow-job.

Finn reached down, pulled his wife to her feet. Spinning her around, he unbuttoned the back of her dress, letting it fall. She was dressed in a pair of satiny thong panties in blue silk, exposing her round ass. Finn took her by the shoulders and steered her over to the bed. Bending her over the edge of their bed, the hero knelt at her south end, pulled the crotch of her panties aside, and dug in. Neither of his ladies ever complained when he went down on them. He liked giving almost as much as he liked getting.

Finn eagerly licked and sucked and slurped on her hot snatch until he had the hot girl-juice flowing. Honestly, he'd been tempted a time or two to put E's hot maple-syrup on his pancakes. He _had_ used a sausage on her snatch once on a long trip into the wastelands. She'd been shocked and turned on when he'd turned right around and eaten that sausage after he'd screwed the shit out of her with it. Standing up, he fit the fat knob of his reinvigorated dong against her hot cunny and eased it inside.

Emeraude's shriek of excited pleasure could be heard downstairs, and it immediately put Fionna in a bad mood. Putting down the last dish, Fionna glared up at the ceiling. The horny goat was at it again. She couldn't believe that somebody her dad's age still liked to get it on as much as he did. She would have thought he'd slow down and get bored of it all by this point. More to the point it was one of the things that tended to make _her_ horny. Listening to her parents going at it all the time was hard on a raging ball of teenage hormones. When you added in Bubba's reluctance to do anything at all, it made her want to slug somebody.

Seeing the mood come over her–it amused Billy that their parents' antics bugged his sister so much–Billy Mertens took Fi by the arm and steered her towards the stairs. "Since you've got a vehicle now, and you're planning to go out into the wilderness by yourself," said the older sibling, "it's time you learned something about automotive mechanics, lil' sis..." "Really," burbled Fi? At his confirming nod, she leapt for joy and all but _ran_ down the stairs.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

The talking ice-cream cone peered intently at the diamond in his hand. Big, and almost flawless, the fat stone was worth a fortune. It had cost over a dozen lives to get, including that of his rival, Jaybird. "Yeah, old buddy," thought the gangster. "I finally got the drop on _you_." He was thinking of keeping Jaybird's skull on his mantle as a trophy. The better man had finally won.

"Pretty rock," announced a voice. Dr. J turned around. There was a shadow in the corner that hadn't been there before. "Yeah," said Dr. J., "it'll bring big bucks when we cut it. Lots of pretty earrings and necklaces." The shadow came closer. She–Dr. J. was sure it was a girl–was small. She wore a tan cloak in rough wool that covered her from head to toe. A purple mask covered the upper half of her face. The weird thing was the two antlers sticking up from her head. She was pretty in a humanoid sort of way.

"One of those necklaces could be yours, fancy-face," said the gangster. "A bribe," asked the wood-nymph? "Payment to go hassle somebody else," retorted the gangster. She slowly circled to his left, coming in front of the desk to keep him from rushing her. "Figured your honey keeps the jewelry box filled," said Dr. J. "Be a shame if he found out how you spend your nights..." Flushing, the pretty wood-nymph snarled, "I'm not _her_." "Jacking her style, girlie," asked Dr. J.? He was a lot more comfortable now. This kid was a fake. The _real_ Huntress would have just slagged him while he wasn't looking and taken the stone.

With a growl of anger, the girl hurled a stunning spell at him. Dr. J was ready for that. Tapping a switch under his desk, he activated the force-field he'd stolen from the Grid-People years ago. The impact rebounded against her, nearly flattening her. The pseudo-Huntress staggered back. Running around the desk with a bat in one hand and a candy-cane gun in the other, Dr. J rushed the girl.

The wizard back-pedaled, ducking and dodging swings of that heavy wooden stick. He was a parolee, and he didn't want to be caught with the gun, so using it was his last resort. Swinging hard, he connected with her right shoulder, stunning her. His return swing clipped one of her antenna, making her see stars. As the girl went down, he raised the bat for the kill. Thinking fast, the wizard grabbed him by the boin loins and squeezed, hard as she could.

The gangster dropped the bat in favor of clutching his privates and howling in pain, while the wizard crawled away. It was a momentary respite, as the angry gangster now drew a knife. "Gonna gut you," growled the thug, as he staggered forward. "Maybe," muttered the wizard, as she clawed her way back to her feet. He jabbed the knife at her face, and she slapped his hand aside. Dodging back, she kicked him in his leg hard enough to hurt. When he staggered back, she rushed in and drove her elbow into his head, stunning him. Dr. J slashed at her middle with his knife, and she felt the sting as she tried to dodge the razor-sharp blade. He'd gotten her. She didn't know how bad. She had to finish this.

For a moment, they circled, his eyes fidgeting towards the gun. Neither of them wanted that gun to come into play. It was a safe bet the guards would be here in minutes after that thing went off. Bonnibel Bubblegum was often oblivious to the actions of the gangsters in her city, but she gave gunmen her undivided attention. Somehow she reasoned murder was worse when it came at the end of a gun. It made the wizard want to laugh. When the gangster tried to stab her again, she caught his arm, snapped it at the elbow, and then drove the knife into his eye.

As he crumpled, thunderous pounding on the door downstairs announced that their duel hadn't been as covert as she'd thought. They'd made noise, but that shouldn't have gotten the guards here–not in _this_ neighborhood. A shiver of fear went down the wood nymph's spine. She needed to be out of here double damned quick! Rushing out into the hall, she scanned left and right. Her eyes locked on the stairs to the roof. As the door burst inward, admitting the green-skinned enforcers of the Candy Kingdom, the wood nymph was already making the roof, sealing the trap behind her.

As she turned to run across the roof to the next building, a voice announced, "Banana Guard! Freeze!" There were already three guards on the roof, dressed in heavy armor and carrying clubs and staves. They were heavy-boys–the elite troops of the guard–but for some reason they didn't come packing blasters. They were between the wood nymph and freedom, though. Rushing forward, she met the first of them with an open-handed blow to the chin that rocked him. Throwing a neat spin-kick, she finished him off with a kick to the side of the head.

Grabbing his stave, she turned the blow of the guy on her right. Twisting the stave, she disarmed him, then bashed him in the head, cold-cocking him. By now guards were pouring out of the hatch in the roof behind her. It was time to throw trumps. The wizard conjured a little bit of weather magic, chilling the warm evening air and causing a fog to spring up around her. As the guards flailed, she dropped to the ground and scooted out of there. As the wood nymph went jumping from building to building and rushing across empty rooftops, a figure on the building across the street drew his radio and announced, "subject is headed west."

The wood-nymph leapt from rooftop to rooftop a long twenty minutes, adrenaline making the pain from her injuries remote. She'd trained for this. She'd practiced this for hours after school. In her family, you had to be tough. When she was sure she'd lost the guards, she dropped down off the rooftops, using a fire-escape to access the streets. Then it was an all-out sprint to the north-gate–a direction they wouldn't expect her to be going.

Star was almost giddy as she came crawling through the attic window. Another one done, and nobody the wiser. She'd have that car in no time at this rate. She had the stone. She'd whacked Dr. J. Junior would be happy. There had been a couple of tight spots there, what with her going all overconfident and screwing up with the gangster. Still, what Junior didn't know wouldn't hurt her. The important thing was that she'd taken out the gangster and retrieved the jewel. It now sat in the drop-spot Junior had marked out for her. Tomorrow she'd get paid.

Doffing the hood of her cloak, she came slipping over to the old trunk. She'd have to find a way to wash her uniform to get the blood out of it. She didn't think her mother would ever come up here to look in on her old gear, but it didn't hurt to be too careful. Smiling ear to ear, she thought of the reputation she was now getting. Maybe she _should_ borrow her mother's name. As she approached the trunk, a light flared to life, leaving her face-to-face with her parents. All three of them stood there, staring her in the face across the battered old trunk, and they didn't look at all amused. "I'm getting grounded, huh," rumbled the young wizard?

The shouting began almost immediately, with Finn ranting and raving about what she'd been doing in the town and the risk that he'd have to arrest her, Huntress going on a tear about her throwing her life away, and Simone frantically trying to get the shirt off her back to look at the cut she'd taken. In the end, the former Ice-Queen, who was queen of the treehouse, told the other two to stick a sock in it. She made Star sit down on the trunk, while she took off the tunic.

The sight of the gash across Star's flat belly reminded them all of just how bad tonight could have gone. Grabbing her by the shoulder, Simone steered the young girl for the stairs down to the kitchen. "Can't I put on my blouse," asked the wood-nymph. "No," snarled Simone! With her father and mother trailing along behind, Star got led down to the kitchen. There Simone put on a kettle of water. Fionna was there, and she made helpful faces at her snarky little sister as her mother probed Star's wound. When she had hot water, Simone got down to work cleaning the cut. "It's no big deal," insisted Star as her step-mother worked. "Dr. J's known to rub his knife in stuff to give his enemies the rot," remarked Billy.

Big brother had come in not long after they reached the kitchen. Just now he stood beside the stairs, leaning against the railing "Not terrible," sighed, Simone, as she finished cleaning the wound. Going into the bathroom, she came back with an antibiotic and daubed it in the wound, making Star hiss with pain. Then she began stitching it up. Through it all, Star flinched and fidgeted. It hadn't hurt that bad when she got cut! No sooner had Simone finished her work and tied off the stitches, than mutt and jeff were back on the case. "What the fuck did you think you were doing," snarled Finn?! "I should run your ass into jail!"

"B-but, daddy," whined Star. "Y-you said we could go adventuring!" "That's not adventure," growled Finn. "It's close to fucking murder." "I just want to know where the rock is," murmured Billy. Finn's head whipped around. "Word on the street is Dr. J had stolen a giant freakin' diamond, pop," said the young hero. Finn turned back to his daughter, who put on an innocent face. "I don't know anything about any jewel," she said. "I was a liar before you were a gleam in his eye, kid," growled Emeraude. Grabbing her child by her yellow hair, she shook Star and snarled, "where's the jewel?!"

The young girl had _never_ managed to lie successfully to the older woman. The Huntress had seemingly heard every lie ever told. "I-I left it at a drop on Fudge Street near Licorice Lane," Star stammered. "I-it's gone by now..." Billy was headed for the door quick as that. That left them dealing with other matters. Huntress moved on to the matter of her little escapade tonight. "You were paid blood money to go grab that jewel," growled the angry mother. "Where is it?" "I-it's in my room, behind the mirror," murmured the young wizard.

Finn went into the child's bedroom and returned moments later with a large envelope. "This is more than one job," rumbled Finn. "Who's been paying you? They're going to jail." Star clammed up. She didn't dare tell them that. Not with what she knew about Junior and who she took to her bed. "Confiscated," said Finn, as he put the wad of cash in his pocket. Star's mouth came open. "You deserve to fucking go to jail," growled Huntress. "I'm halfway tempted to send you." The young girl shut her mouth and turned away.

Angry as hell, Emeraude was hardly finished. She intended to make sure the lesson was fully internalized. Grabbing Star by the arm, she headed for the stairs. Dragging her hapless child down to the first floor, she shoved her up against the wall as she opened the vault there. As the hapless young wizard stared, her mother snatched the bracer from her arm. "This doesn't belong to you," growled Huntress, as she locked her old Instrument away. When she turned around, she was holding Star's bracelet–the Instrument she'd spent hours crafting. "And you don't deserve _this_ ," announced the angry mother. The bracelet got added to the pile as Huntress shut the vault and locked it.

Star gobbled. She'd just gotten that! She'd begged and pleaded for _months_. She'd had to demonstrate good grades in all her classes, and she'd had to keep up her chores besides. "Y-you can't take my bracelet," sobbed the child! "Go to your room," growled Huntress! Bawling her eyes out, the young wood-nymph fled up the stairs. Angry, the older woman pounded her fist into the vault. She might have kept on doing it if Simone hadn't announced, "you're going to hurt yourself, dear." She got in the way, making Emeraude stop.

Eyes brimming with tears, the wood-nymph turned away. She felt like a failure. Simone caught her face and said, "there's no easy days, dear. We're gonna' get through this... She's _my_ daughter too." The wizard flushed. Simone hugged her, holding her tight. Finn came down the stairs, holding the big packet of money. He wasn't sure what to do with that. "Donate it to charity," rumbled Emeraude. Finn frowned. It was Star's money. "You heard me, Finn," said she. "I don't want my child to have any part of what I did in the past. I want her to know just where that road leads. Take that money into town and give it to charity. Every penny." Finn nodded.

Finn hugged his wife, apologizing for not being around enough. "Finn," rumbled the wood nymph. "You're here every flippin' day. Sometimes she sees you more than I do, and I married you. This isn't your fault." Looking up at Simone, she said, "she learned it from me. From the things I used to do. Now I have to teach her about the ugly side of what she wants to be."

There was one thing bothering Simone, though. "You haven't hit a lick since before she was born," murmured the housewife. "Where would she have gotten the idea?" Finn frowned. They never really talked about E's past. Not with the kids. They never mentioned the money. As far as Star was concerned, her mother lived on what she made as Bonnie's Court Wizard. Why was she suddenly running with gangsters? Emeraude rumbled, "there's one other person who knew..."

The three adults retired upstairs to bed, though little sleeping actually got done. For Finn and Simone, the night was spent worrying. They had worked hard to bring the kids this far. If Star–calm, hard-working Star–could do something like this, what did that say for Fionna. For Emeraude, the night was a torment. She had a very good idea who would have put those ideas in Star's head, and she wanted to beat that bitch to a pulp. Her hands kept clenching and unclenching as she thought of snapping the bitch's neck like a chicken.

Rising early, Emeraude got washed and dressed and headed out to the Candy Kingdom to serve notice on their _problem_ while her husband and friend still slept. Stopping off at her little office, she took the time to draft an official document before tracking down her quarry. This moment had been a long time coming. She'd struggled with this. She'd _been_ struggling since the _invasion_ a few years ago. Simone had been telling her to reconcile. That was what you did with family. You worked things out. Except Emeraude's family showed no sign of ever changing. They were going to be what they had always been. So it fell to her to drag them forward to the modern era.

Or to move them on.

Lion Place still held a small group of hardcore harlots when the wood-nymph wizard came on the scene. One or two looked like they had been here all night. Finn let them stay mostly because of his wife. He had sympathy for them. Slavers had repeatedly raided their forest in the last five years. The hero had been there during one such raid, and that had kind of precipitated the invasion of wood-nymphs in the Candy Kingdom. Feeling as though they would be under his protection, many had come here. Bringing vice with them. Finn had kept it from Bonnie, reasoning that what they did was harmless as long as no drugs got used. Now Emeraude wasn't so sure.

Posting her three borrowed Bananas on the stoop, the wizard went up the stairs to her mother's flat. Her mother took great pains to lay in bed as long as she could in the mornings. She was often up until all hours, servicing whatever customers came by. From what the wizard had heard, she was much in demand. There were lots of sots willing to travel to dip their wicks in this bitch, and it was almost a miracle that Emeraude didn't have yet another sister lurking around. The thought of that gave the wizard pause. That was a wrinkle she hadn't been anticipating. What would she do if her mother _was_ pregnant? Would she still carry through? _One thing at a time, Emeraude,_ she thought. If she backed down now, she might be visiting her daughter in prison or worse, at the graveyard. Knocking, she stepped back, gathering her power and waiting.

It took a while for her mother to get herself out of bed and then to drag herself to the door. The suspicious wood-nymph opened the door a crack–when you were a target, you never quite lost that suspicion. "Oh," rumbled Marjolaine Baudin. "It's you." Opening the door, she stepped aside and let her wayward daughter in. The nasty little bitch hadn't deigned to step foot in this place in years, and it was a bit of a surprise to see her now.

Shutting the door, the older woman announced, "I was sleeping. I don't really have anything for guests at the moment." She had shopping to do. Later. "Not a social call," muttered Emeraude. The older woman frowned at her. Leaving the door, she strolled into her parlor, giving her daughter a good look at her. Just as expected, she had barely bothered to put on a robe, which now flopped open with every step she took. The wizard found herself looking at the older woman with new eyes. Her mother was middle-aged now. She was ninety-seven. She was holding up well, which made the wizard feel a little better about herself. She would look like that someday. Even wizardry couldn't keep her young forever.

Settling on her sofa, the older woman crossed her legs artfully. Running a finger through her hair, she asked, "so. What brings my daughter home to her mother?" "I want to know how many times Star came to see you," rumbled the wizard. Smiling, Marjolaine replied, "my grand-daughter stops by frequently. Sometimes she brings her mad little half-sister." Emeraude frowned. That was ominous news. It was bad enough Star was exposed to this bitch. She didn't want Fionna getting the same ideas. "What have you been saying to her," demanded the wizard?

Twirling a finger in the air, the older woman replied, "I've been teaching her the way the world works, child. All those things you've neglected... Bad listener, I'm afraid. She insisted on doing the same things you did to earn her bread when she's pretty enough to have a string of..." Emeraude was across the room and in her mother's face in a heartbeat. It took all her will not to strangle the living shit out of this bitch. "Don't ever speak to my children again," growled the war-wizard. "If I ever find out that you so much as said hello to Star and Fionna, I will reach down your throat, grab your asshole, and turn you inside out."

Emeraude dropped the bitch on the floor. She'd been seeing red, and she hadn't even realized she'd snatched the bitch off her feet. Striding across the room, she jerked the window open. "Get up here," shouted the Princess's Court Wizard. She turned to the woman in front of the couch, saying, "you have until sun down to get out of town. If you're still here tonight, you'll be in prison tomorrow. My husband's turned a blind eye to what you do here for too long. It ends today." Striding past the Banana Guards, she said, "see that she leaves town by sundown."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

The young wood-nymph sighed heavily. It was a beautiful day outside.

Where she wasn't allowed at the moment.

Inside, it was a pretty miserable day. First day of summer break, and she was _here_. No truck. No money. After all she'd been through, she was back where she started. Downstairs, her brother and sister were working on the wreck that Fionna had bought with the money she'd earned rounding up junk and flashing her tits at the losers on wizards-row at the flea market. It didn't seem fair. It got even more unfair when that aging rattletrap actually started up and ran. Fionna's squeal of happiness was like the sound of Star's dream dieing.

"You seem pretty bummed," opined Jake Junior. "I'm grounded for life," muttered Star. "Tough luck, kid," chuckled Junior. Which did exactly _zip_ to cheer the young wood nymph. It was times like these that she thought of just accepting her heritage. The others of her kind at her school had jewelry and nice clothes. They were always flashing cash, and some of them seemed to enjoy rubbing her face in the fact that she had nothing. She wanted love, though. She wanted a guy who loved her, not some loser who was going to have his fun for a few weeks and then dump her. In short, she wanted somebody like her mom had found, and that meant having her own stuff so she wasn't tempted to trade on her looks.

As Star watched, Fionna jumped into the ugly beater truck and took off down the driveway. When she hit the road at the bottom of the drive, she turned left and went roaring off down the road just like her mom did. Billy stood staring after her, looking proud and pleased as punch. That was the thing that was really killing Star. Billy was mad at her. That was almost worse than her parents combined reaction. Strange as it seemed, Billy was closer to his half-sister than he was to his full-blooded sister. Just now, the older teen was _disappointed_ in Star. The young wood-nymph sighed heavily as she watched her brother turn to come back inside.

Holding up a packet, Junior whispered, "here's your last payment. Don't spend it all in one place." She slipped the packet under Star's pillow and headed for the door. Outside, she found Simone sitting at the kitchen table pouring over a pile of drawings. So engrossed was the pretty housewife, that it was clear to Junior that she couldn't have been listening in. Still, Junior hadn't gotten where she was by being careless. Star was keeping the secret for her, and that was all that really mattered. "Bye, Aunt Simone," said Junior. Distractedly, Simone waved goodbye.

Halfway down the stairs, she encountered Billy coming up. "Oh, hey, Bill," chuckled the shapechanger. "Lemme walk you to the door," said the young hero. "Sure," replied Junior. Billy walked the dog-icorn down to the door and out. As soon as they were outside, the young hero pushed the older woman up against the wall and held her there.

"Miss me," asked the shapechanger as she slipped her arms around her boyfriend's neck? Billy leaned in and kissed her soft lips. "Mmmm," moaned the older woman as he grabbed a double-handful of her jeans-clad butt. "What are you up to with Star," whispered the cop? "No good," retorted the snarky gangster. She grinned at him. That was the way they always greeted each other. Billy didn't ask too many questions about what Junior was up to, and Junior tried not to rub her boyfriend's face in her typically crooked schemes.

More seriously, he said, "you haven't told your dad..." He'd been bugging her about that for a month. He wanted to make an honest woman out of her. "Timing hasn't been good," replied Junior. "I'm tired of hiding," rumbled Billy. She'd made him promise to let her tell her parents about their relationship first, and he'd held off on telling his parents. "We have to be smart about this," she reminded him. "They'll totes be creeped out..." "We're cousins and not genetically related," Billy reminded her. "Ok, ok," sighed Junior. "I'll spring it on them before we go on that trip next week." Changing the subject, she asked, "you comin' by?" "Yeah," said he.

Stepping back, Billy let his girlfriend of one year go. She made sure to make her little butt dance in those super-tight jeans as she went prancing down the driveway to the tricked out car she drove. Low slung and sleek, it hid a number of surprises, including a surprisingly sophisticated off-road suspension with on-the-fly adjustable ride-height that let her go most places his truck could go. She'd been as far as the edges of the local kingdoms in it. Anything further would have required a real wilderness rig. But JJ was a city-girl. There wasn't anybody to game in the wilderness. With one last glance back, the shapeshifter got in her car and drove off.

His friends often asked why he was dating her. She was four years older than he was, and she had a lot of very dangerous habits. On top of that, she was part dog. In Billy's mind, they kind of missed the point. The only human female in all the kingdoms of Ooo that wasn't related to him was Betty Petrikov. If he didn't want to spend his life alone, he had to learn to see beauty in other places. And it wasn't as if JJ _wasn't_ cute, at least in present form. She was older, but she wasn't a slut, so why did that matter?

A glance up reminded him that he needed to have that talk with Star. He needed to get to the bottom of what she'd been doing and why. Her life depended on it. Heading back inside, he shut the door and locked it before heading upstairs. His mom was at the kitchen table, pouring over records and documents regarding Wiz-City's frequent lawlessness and the unsubtly brutal reactions of the city's enforcers. It was one more of the things that Simon wanted to change, and she was making it a plank of his campaign. She'd been there at that table–or in his dad's office–much of the week. It was important to her, and Billy tip-toed around her and down the hall to his sister's room.

Star was sitting on the bed, trying to pretend that she hadn't been looking. He didn't think she knew about he and JJ, but that did worry him a little. Still, he squared up, shut the door, and said, "we need to talk..." Star looked up at him a moment, then, face hot, she stared down at the floor. "Sis," said he, "why'd you do it?" Star said nothing. "I need to know something, Star," he said. "You're still under a cloud, here kiddo. I need to know. Did you just whack those guys? Did you murder them?" The young wizard stared at him, and her mouth hung. "N-no," she howled! "They... I-I was just supposed to get the money they owed or-or deliver a message." They'd pretty much attacked her every time. She didn't hurt anybody who hadn't started it first. At Billy's skeptical look, she swore to it.

Frowning, the hero thought about that. She hadn't hurt the Baklavas, and she'd passed up on the opportunity to take a _lot_ of money. Deciding that maybe this wasn't what it seemed, Billy moved on, asking, "will you tell me who paid you?" Star glanced away. "Did you swear," he asked? "Is that it?" Star nodded. He'd kind of started that when they were kids. She'd been all of five at the time, and the family cat, Cake, was missing. Trying to emulate their dad, Billy had sworn to find her, and he'd gone out into the _wilds_ around the house looking. While he was out, their mothers had located Cake curled up in a hole in the wall, but Billy had stayed out all night, and they'd had to go searching for _him_. Star had never forgotten that.

Moving on, Billy asked, "Star? Why'd you do this? Why'd you get involved with these people?" With a shrug, she said, "I wanted to make my own money... I-I wanted my own truck." Billy had gotten a job at the ripe age of fourteen, and he'd been working more or less ever since, first as a stock-boy at a Squeezy-Mart down the road, and later working at Banana-Guard HQ for their dad. He'd bought a truck out of a junkyard on the far side of the kingdom, spent weeks struggling to get it home, and then worked hard to fix it up himself.

Now it all began to make sense to Billy. Star could be a snarky little bitch. She had a lot of her mom in her. Still, this was out of character. His sister was very settled down and more honest than the typical teen girl. Something or somebody had put her on this path. "Talk to me, sis," said Billy. The wood-nymph glanced up at him with a heart-wrenching expression on her pretty face. "I-I thought it was ok," she murmured. "They were all bad men, Billy. I didn't think it really mattered if they got hurt..." "They're still people, Star," Billy reminded her. More to the point, he reminded her, "what if the thing with the Baklavas had gone wrong, sis? What if old Nikos or his daughter came at you too." Star blushed, and it was apparent she hadn't thought of that.

"That's an evil world, sweetie," he told her. "Mom could tell you that..." He'd accidentally seen Star's mother naked, and she was almost as badly scarred as his dad. "Even if you do everything right, that world just drags you down until you make that one wrong move," said the hero. He saw he had her full attention. "You must hate me," howled the wood-nymph. "No, sis," murmured Billy. "Never." The younger teen jumped up and ran to him. Billy gathered her in and held her tight, as she cried into his chest. "I'll never stop loving my sister," he told her.

The hero took her by the arm and steered her over to the bed. Sitting down beside her, he said, "I'll see if I can get moms and dad to un-ground you. Then I'm going to take you down to Pop's Hardware in town." "Huh," she burbled? "We're gonna' get you a job, sweetie," said Billy. "A real one. One where you're not selling your dignity or risking your future." Star nodded. Taking her chin in his hands, Billy said, "swear to me that you won't ever do something like this again." She swore. Billy hugged her again. Dabbing at her eyes, he said, "maybe I'll even take you dungeon-bashing. We'll get you that truck, and I'll help you get it running." Star hugged him again. Billy kissed her cheek, then took his leave. He had some things he had to get done before he went back into town.

The young hero went downstairs and got into his own chores. First came a rigorous cleaning of the furnace. With summer here, they hardly needed it, but it ran better when they took care of it, and that helped his birth-mom out when all of them were out of the house. After the furnace came the job of cutting the grass. By the time he finished that, the sun was headed down in the sky. Heading upstairs, he took a quick shower, kissed his mom and sister goodbye, and headed for the Candy Kingdom. He had dinner waiting on him.

As he drove into the capitol city, his lively mind worked on how to help Star get to the point of having her own vehicle quickly without making it too easy for her. He wanted her to have the sense that she'd worked for it and earned it but having to watch Fionna run around in her own truck for a few months while she went through the trouble of saving all over again was going to be painful for his little sister.

Arriving at the gates of town, Billy took the road around the perimeter of the walls, headed for the rough neighborhood that his girlfriend called home just now. The Kingdom's builders were just starting to pave the road, and Billy found himself bouncing over ruts in the muddy road. He wasn't a fan of this place. He well knew that there were only two reasons his truck hadn't been stolen. The first was that pretty much everyone here knew who he was. Pulling up on the entrance to JJ's apartment building, the handsome teen set the alarm and then set the nasty spell that his step-mom had laid on the truck. That, of course, was the second. After the first thief was forced to cut off his arm at the elbow to prevent his whole body from dissolving, interest in being the second kind of dropped off.

Checking his pockets to make sure he had everything, the teen hero set off, heading up the rickety stairs to JJ's place. The boards creaked under his feet, threatening to dump him unceremoniously into the basement. The walls were scarred and liberally tagged with some rather raunchy graffiti suggesting that Princess Bonnibel committed sex-acts with animals. Billy had been forced to learn to turn a blind eye to what he saw here. For whatever reason, the people who lived here in the shadow of Bonnie's capitol didn't like her very much, as in at all.

Arriving at JJ's door, Billy knocked carefully. And waited. She made him wait, while she scanned the hall with the half-dozen cameras she had hidden in the ceilings and wall. It was a game with her. She made him feel like he was spying on another kingdom–or raiding a treasure vault. He'd put up with it for a while, but he intended to have a conversation with her about their living arrangements. This wasn't a place to raise a kid.

The door opened a crack, and she asked, "who's there?" "You know who's there," retorted Billy. "Yeah," she giggled, as she pulled the chain loose and let the door open. She still made him squeeze by. She always made him squeeze through that door. On the far side, he turned to face her, finding her standing there in a pair of tap-pants and a cami in gray silk. She'd teased her long, blonde hair out, and it hung down past her shoulders, framing her narrow, angular face. Lips pursed in a toothy smile, she said, "any problems?" For answer, Billy pushed her up against the door, grabbed her little cupcake butt, and gave it a squeeze. "Mmm," moaned the sexy shapechanger as they kissed.

Breaking that kiss, she said, "I got some big, juicy steaks and a nice bottle of wine. What do you want first? Dinner or me?" Billy's eyes were aflame, as they scanned her up and down. "I guess that's a vote for 'me'," she giggled. Butt wiggle-waggling back and forth, she went across to her nightstand and drew out a pair of handcuffs. Waggling her eyebrows salaciously, she twirled them on her fingertip. Billy came over and shoved her down on the bed. Then he fastened both her wrists into the handcuffs and shackled her arms to the bed above her head.

The cuffs had started as a means to stop her clawing the shit out of his back when he was having her. She would go crazy, and she'd drawn blood a time or two. She _was_ part dog. Later on, JJ had come to _love_ bondage. She liked doing it tied up better than anything. Leaning down, he kissed his girl, while his hands stroked her perky boobies. The hard little nips made dents in the silky cami she wore. Slipping his hands underneath, he felt the soft, downy hair she was covered in as he stroked her flat belly. JJ shivered. Soft sighs left her lips as he stroked and caressed her body. She'd confessed that his touch left her tingly.

Her body began to move as he teased the base of her boobies with his fingertips. He went slow, taking his time as he got her hotter and hotter. As his fingers worked their way up and around her knobs, finally arriving at the pointy nips, she began to shiver and wriggle about. "You always tease me," moaned the sexy shapechanger. Leaning down, he put his lips to her ear and said, "because I know you like it." His right hand began to slide down her flat belly again, his fingertips soft against her skin. She was a little ticklish there around her belly-button, and the feel of his fingers there made her shiver and giggle.

Billy continued to stroke and caress her breasts, going from one to the other, while his right hand stroked her flat stomach closer and closer to her snatch. "Billy, please," she moaned. His hand stopped right where it was. "Shit! You jerk," she howled! Sliding a hand under the waist of her panties, he pinched her button, sending her crashing over the edge with a shriek.

As his girl lay there moaning, Billy pulled those silk drawers off, tossed them aside and bent and dug in. The hair got in the way a little, but her snatch was mostly bare. Billy found her a little tart, but he had nothing to compare it too. He'd heard that wood-nymphs tasted like maple-syrup, but he wasn't about to go down to Lion Place to find out. JJ's hips began to wriggle and dance, and her head thrashed from side to side. Billy took his time, stopping from time to time to make her hungrier for it. When she was practically begging, her arms trying to tear the cuffs off, he got up, slipped out of his pants, and climbed aboard.

"Eeeeek," squealed the dog-icorn as he stuffed his pecker into her gooey snatch. He drove it in deep in just three strokes, and JJ began to wail. Holding it there, he teased her some more, easing out just a little before sliding it back in. Wrapping those long legs around his waist, she tried to pull him into her, but Billy was much stronger than she was. Her eyeless face was contorted in frustration, as Billy teased her, stroking her plump boobies while he rubbed his thumb across her button. "F-fuck you," howled the frustrated female. "No," chuckled Billy, "fuck _you_." He began to rail her hard, pounding that big dick into her hard as he could.

She began to scream. Throwing her head back, she screamed long and loud. The first orgasm exploded in her mind like a bomb, leaving her gasping for air. Billy began to maul her hot little body, squeezing her ass hard enough to hurt and sometimes biting her nips too. "Shiiiit," she howled. "The gag, Billy... Put something in my mouth..." She didn't want the neighbors to hear. Billy did no such thing. If anything, he did it harder, riding her so hard, she felt like he would fuck her to pieces. Her hands clenched so hard, she ended up scratching her own palms and drawing blood. Grabbing her hair, he pulled her face to his and stuffed his tongue into her mouth. She bit him hard enough to draw blood as he continued to bang the shit out of her. Screaming, 'ohglob, ohglob, ohglob' over and over, JJ went over one last time, her body going rigid. Billy let her have it with both barrels.

Drawing back, Billy flopped down beside her for a moment, watching her gulp great lungfulls of air. "Bastard," she hissed. Billy laughed at her. Climbing over her, he retrieved his pants and pulled out the secret in his pocket. He dropped the little case on her flat stomach, startling her. As JJ craned her neck to see what he'd put on her stomach, Billy announced, "we're getting married. No more games." Defeated, she sighed, "ok."

Billy untied his girl, then he picked her up and carried her to the table. As he sat there working his way through dinner, JJ sat on his lap, picking at her own dinner, while she stared into space. From time to time, she would stop and stare down at the ring on her finger. There would be no hiding it now. Her dad was an obliviot. He wouldn't notice if she passed him with one arm missing. She knew it. She'd done it just to test him. Her mom would notice immediately. Unfortunately her mom wasn't the only one who would notice. JJ sighed heavily. Her life was about to get a lot more complicated.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

The Prophet James was standing on the base of the statue that his followers had pulled down six months back haranguing the crowd, firing them up for another night of stealthy mayhem in Candy Town. Around him, his idiot followers sat on the broken up remnants of the statue of Princess Bubblegum that had once stood on that base. Sitting in his truck on the far side of the park, Finn could hear every word, and he found himself gritting his teeth in anger. He wanted to smash that idiot. He wanted to beat his face in. "It's a good thing you'd want to do that," opined Billy. "He's got a lot of faces to beat." "Freaky," muttered Spike. "He's a freak."

Finn well knew it. He'd been there the day that James became the monster that he was now. He'd been there the day Bonnie put him on this pathway. In a real sense Bonnie's meddling and know-it-all ways had created the problem that afflicted them. James was gaining a greater and greater following in the Kingdom. He had followers in all five of the cities and in every isolated little village between them. Finn had spotted one of his banners on a farm in the middle of nowhere on his way to Cookie County in the west.

The sad thing was that Finn _understood_ James. He'd been screwed by Bonnie too. He understood just how James felt about the Princess. He'd been angry and upset for days at the way she'd basically arm-twisted James into throwing his life away to let them escape. She justified it by saying that there was no other way–as if she had some way to read the future, but Finn had never been able to shake the thought that she hadn't really given any of their escape plans a chance. She'd just decided that James was the least valuable person there and put him up to die. Over time, he'd made peace with it. After all, there was no real way to say that she _wasn't_ right, and she'd done her best to make amends. Still, it made dealing with James difficult.

The twisted candy-person rattled to the end of his speech–a speech that was chock-full of crazy. Now, as the three cops watched, the crowd began to break up. Fortunately the crowd didn't go off half-cocked and immediately start rampaging around. That gave Finn a hope they could get through this without having to bash anybody. The pack of candy-people dispersed, leaving James standing there on the pedestal, and he was staring right at them. Finn stared back. He didn't know if the crazy guy could see them or not, but he wanted him to know that he _wasn't_ intimidated. At the end of the day, Finn was Captain of the Guard, and his job was to keep everybody in the Candy Kingdom safe.

As the last of James's moronic followers left the scene, Finn opened the door of the truck and hopped out. When Billy moved to follow, Finn admonished him, "stay here. I'll handle this alone." As his son and lieutenant watched, the big man went striding across to the amalgamated mess that was James. Spike muttered something about foolhardiness under his breath, but then he'd been the one militating for turning the heavy-boys loose on the psychopathic mutant. They were the real enforcers. Culled from the most intelligent and focused members of the Banana Guard, they were the only ones trusted with real weapons–a motley mix of firearms cobbled together from history books and recollections of Simon and Betty Petrikov.

Finn didn't like calling out his elite enforcers though. Candy-Kingdom crime rarely got that bad, and he wasn't going to be the one unleashing hell on the Princess's citizens. He preferred to deal with the most problematic situations in a very personal manner. Hands loose and free, the Captain of the Guard strode straight up to mutant, looking like he meant business. The warped candy-person seemed to be lost in thought as Finn approached. That was deception. At least one of those faces continued to scan the scene for possible trouble. The one time Finn had tried to arrest the mutant, it had taken them six tries. James was slippery, and he was smart enough to stay one step ahead of their more inept troops.

"Duh, hey, Finn," the mutant greeted the policeman as he approached. "James," replied Finn. Chuckling, James asked, "here to run me out of town again?" Finn shrugged, neither confirming nor denying that. "Got rights to be here," said the deformed amalgam of creatures. Finn acknowledged that with a nod. He said, "you don't have a right to take other people's lives, James." "Ain't kilt nobody, Finn," rumbled the mutant. Finn appended a 'yet' to that.

Spreading his hands, Finn tried a different approach, asking, "and what will you do if she refuses to give in, James? What if Princess Bubblegum decides she'd rather die than give you the knowledge of how to create lives and clone people?" Several pairs of eyes narrowed on Finn's. The mutant was very dangerous. He had tremendous physical strength and literally eyes in back. The Finn-Sword was an effective counter, but Finn didn't like taking risks anymore. "It's not her right," retorted James!

He was shrill right off the bat, shouting about the rights of the Candy Kingdom's citizens! He shouted about how evil the Princess was for holding back the gifts that Glob had given them. If Glob hadn't meant for them to live forever, he wouldn't have given them the Decorpsinator Serum and the Cloning Formula! "But he _didn't_ give it to _you_ , James," retorted Finn. "He gave it to _her_." "Did he give her the sky," demanded the madman?! "Did he give her the earth?!" Finn calmly said, "not trying to rile you, James. I know what you went through. I understand... I'm just saying... If she doesn't give it to you, you can't just take it." He was very reasonable, but it was clear to the madman that he was fishing for something. "Duh, Finn," said James. "You can bet my lucky coin that I won't tangle with you." "Sure James," replied Finn. "We're buds, right...?"

Miles away, Jake Junior sat watching as the Candy Kingdom's de-facto boss of bosses pitched the top gangsters on the idea of forming a mafia of sorts. The move hadn't waited for very long after the elimination of Dr. J. His former chief lieutenant was now here in his place, having been newly raised up to be boss. He was an iffy sort of ally. He'd rolled on his boss and helped them whack the good Doctor in exchange for approval of his rise to power, but Junior was under no illusions. He'd betrayed one boss, and he'd likely betray another just as quickly. He'd have to go sooner rather than later.

Losing access to Star's rather formidable powers couldn't have come at a worse time, and she still hadn't managed to reveal that little factoid to her employer. They were already experiencing a little friction, caused by the diamond ring on her finger. Junior had jumped out of the frying pan and straight into the burner with that. If it was bad for the boss's chief henchman to be fucking the top cop's son, what did marrying him do?

Junior had known going in that her engagement would upset the applecart. Rather than hide it, she'd gone straight in. She was getting married. To Billy. She was going to marry him. They'd been carrying on for a year. What difference did it make now? Either she'd be able to keep the con going with him, or she wouldn't. Honestly, she knew there was an emotional dependency there. Why bother pretending there wasn't? Better to have it all out in the open.

Naturally her employer didn't see it that way. They'd had an epic row, and Junior had honestly considered violence a couple of times there. Her boss was an epic manipulator, but Junior was far better prepared for a physical confrontation. She was almost as skilled as her father at forming weapons out of her body. The fight, such as it was, would have been over in a few breaths. Of course, she likely would have been on the run not long after, but she was seriously starting to not give a damn. Billy was her everything–the only _normal_ she had in her life.

As the dog-icorn watched, her boss got down to the bottom of an extensive list of prepared remarks. The gangsters in the audience were staring with rapt attention. Junior had been worried about that. The would-be boss-of-bosses was an unlikely character for the role, and the shapechanger had feared they would get violently rejected. Fortunately the ground work of removing a lot of the troublemakers on pretense both false and otherwise had smoothed the road. As Junior watched, the vote got taken, and the results were astoundingly favorable. They were now in business.

Immediately the new Boss called for refreshments and a small army of enslaved mutants and nymphs came out bearing platters of food. Under the watchful eyes of a dozen enforcers, the top gangsters dug into a feast. As the crowd laughed and drank, their new boss slipped away, joining Junior in the shadows at the far end of the room. "Well," asked the crimelord? Junior's boss rarely stood on ceremony.

Face twisted in a frown, the shapechanger replied, "we've located the subjects." They were right in plain sight just fifty miles outside the capitol. "No guards and no visible defenses," rumbled Junior. This was another of the things she wasn't happy about. The new Boss was playing with fire and digging into thinks best left undisturbed. The moves they were making left the shapechanger queasy. "Good," replied the Boss. "When can we move?" "Couple weeks," replied Junior. "May take longer. Your pet crazy is having trouble ginning up enough bodies." Her uncle had been leaning hard on James's support base. After they were arrested and ended up _under_ the jail the first time, few wanted seconds.

Decisively, the Boss told her, "I want him to pull his men back. Launch the attack in one of the cities that we haven't touched yet. Max effort." Junior acknowledged the orders and got moving. "Where are you going," demanded the boss? "Family barbecue," replied the shapechanger. "It'll look bad if I'm not there." Making a shooing motion towards Junior, the Boss replied, "well, we don't want suspicion from that new fiancé of yours..." The irritated shapechanger got on her way.

It was six o'clock when Finn rolled up to Lady Rainicorn's place with his family crowded into E's truck. The three teens were squeezed into the back with Billy sandwiched by his sisters and his knees tucked up against his chest. It had been a long time since the kids could all ride back there comfortably, and Finn was considering letting them off the hook for going as a family next time. Billy was a man. It was about time they acted like it.

Oddly enough, he wasn't the problem. Billy would have been just fine back there with the two girls. Fionna had been the long pole in the tent. She would have driven herself if Finn would have allowed her. She was antsy to be on her own, pushing and rushing things when there was plenty of time for her to be an adult. She had been cranky the whole way, spending most of the trip complaining. She was uncomfortable. Billy's elbow was jabbed into her booby. His big feet were crowding hers. It was, in a lot of ways, like every other trip they'd ever taken with the kids. In the end, just like when they were younger, Simone told Fionna to put a sock in it.

They all piled out almost as soon as the truck stopped. Slamming the driver's door shut, Finn greeted his brother with a hearty, "hey, bro!" "Finn," shouted Jake! The stretchy dog reached out from across the yard and snatched up his brother. As the rest of the gathering looked on, Jake hugged his brother. Star and Fionna howled laughter while their brother stretched his long limbs. Under cover of stretching, he looked for JJ. Fionna's squeal of delight announced Bon had made it. The pretty blonde rushed across and threw herself on Boniface Bubblegum and kissed him thoroughly. Star howled laughter. "It'll happen to you too, lil' sis," teased Billy as he headed for the food. Star was counting on it. Latching onto his arm with a giggle, the pretty wood-nymph joined him.

Talk at the table was about TV finally having a girlfriend after seemingly forever. With Viola, Kim Kil Whan, and Charlie all married, TV and Junior were the only holdouts. Billy smiled at the news. TV would soon be alone on that island if Billy got his way. "How are things," asked the hero? "Tolerable, William," replied Kim. "And you?" "Great," replied Billy. Things couldn't be better. He would be eighteen in a few months. He planned to be married a few months after that. _Speaking of which,_ thought the hero. JJ's car had just pulled up.

Billy waited with baited breath. He'd put on a nice pair of pants, a decent shirt, and a jacket–far more formal than needed for a barbecue. His mother had commented on it, but he'd brushed her off. His fiancé was supposed to come dressed up too. This was the day they stopped hiding. When the door opened, his girl got out dressed in a natty blue pencil skirt that came to her knees over shiny silver heels and a light blue top. Every face swivelled to look.

The mood was thick on JJ when she got out of her car, and Billy was almost certain that she was going to do it to him again today. They'd done this dance so many times, he could almost read it in her eyes. Not that she actually _had_ eyes, mind you, but the body-language was there. She had hit some problem that she wasn't going to share with him, and she was going to use that as an excuse not to move forward. He wasn't sure what he was going to do if she did that. _We'll just have to see,_ he decided.

As she walked into her mother's backyard, Billy walked up alongside her, announcing, "you look great today, JJ." Jake Junior frowned up at him for a moment, and he could _feel_ the negative vibe from her. Then, almost like fog before the sun, the mood evaporated, and she was happy-go-lucky JJ again. "You don't look so bad yourself," she replied, giving him her trademark crooked grin.

She took a good look at the scene before her. The party was in full swing. She'd had to go home, shower, change, and drive here after her meeting with the boss. She'd hit traffic both going home and coming here, and that had contributed a lot to her bad mood. Now she was looking at all their friends and relatives. Billy's parents–Finn and Simone–were standing there alongside her parents. Even her idiot dad had managed to drag himself here. Her other two cousins, Star and Fionna, were present, and all her brothers and sisters were here to put on the feed-bag.

Fionna had brought/dragged Bubba Bubblegum along, and it took a great deal of willpower for JJ not to laugh. As hard as the horny little bitch was trying, it was a wonder she wasn't knocked-up already. At the same time, Pat Petrikov was staring at her back so hard, it was a wonder she hadn't burst into flames. And then there were his stuffy parents too. Billy took her hand and gave it a squeeze, reminding her of what they were supposed to be doing here. This wasn't the time to have fun at their family's expense.

Striding forward, half-leading/half-dragging his girlfriend, Billy walked up to her parents. Lady Rainicorn greeted the two of them, offering punch. Jake said, "hey, sweetums! How you been?!" The stretchy dog would have enveloped his favorite kid in his arms, but Billy held onto her hand. "Uh, dad," said she. "I've got something I need to tell you." "Sure, thing, sweetie," replied Jake as he shoved a burger in her face. "Uh, dad," interrupted Junior. "I can't talk if my mouth is full." "You kinda came a little over-dressed," opined Jake. "We're just barbecuing..." Rolling his eyes, Billy turned to JJ and said, "I'm doin' it."

Before Jake's astonished eyes, Billy the Human got down on one knee, slipped the ring from his pocket and said, "JJ, I'd be honored if you'd agree to marry me." Just like they had rehearsed it–which of course they had–Junior replied, "of course, honey. I'm delighted you asked..." Billy slipped the ring on her finger. "Uh...," burbled Finn. "Is this a joke?" That question got answered when his son stood up, swept his cousin into his arms and gave her a deep soul-kiss that left everyone at the barbecue staring with mouths hanging. "Well now we know who his girlfriend is," babbled Fionna.

Those words snapped Simone out of her shock. " _William Simon Mertens_ ," shouted the beautiful woman! "Inside! _Now_!" Giving JJ a peck on the lips, he said, "wish me luck." Then he followed his moms into Lady's house for the confrontation of his life. This was _not_ going to be fun. Both angry mothers were waiting on Billy in Lady's kitchen. Squaring up, Billy shut the door and walked up to them. It was the hardest thing he'd ever done to look those glowering faces in the eye.

The young man opened with, "I know this is a little hard to accept..." "How long, William," asked Simone? "Almost a year," replied Billy. "So we trusted you–gave you time on your own–and you do _this_ ," snapped Emeraude? She'd lobbied for that. She'd convinced Simone and Finn to let him be on his own. "You were the _mature_ one," howled the wood-nymph wizard! "What happened?!" She would have expected Fionna to do something crazy like this. With a shrug, Billy replied, "love happened, mom. We were just flirting..." Then things got serious when JJ responded to his flirting.

"And what do you expect us to do with this, William," demanded Simone? "Let you marry your first-cousin? She's... Glob, she's far too old for you." "Mom, she's only twenty-one," replied Billy, "a-and we're not really rea..." "You want us to be ok with you fucking your cousin," growled Emeraude? She was the 'bad cop' of the pair. Simone was usually firm but gentle–even sweet. Billy's birth-mother could make chewing you out sound pleasant. Emeraude wasn't built that way. Maybe it was the hard years of living life as a mercenary. Maybe it was all the double-dealing. Maybe it was that she felt like she had a lot to lose here with _their_ family. Emeraude was quick to squash anything she felt wasn't right. "But she's _not_ my cousin," interrupted Billy.

Emeraude's fist clenched, and her brow furrowed. He hadn't seen a look like that on her face since Fionna set fire to the chicken-coop. With the chickens inside. Facing down the wrath of an angry wizard, Billy Mertens said, "dad's adopted. He's not blood related to Jake, and this isn't incest. It's... _odd_. It's kind of strange that I'm getting hitched to my cousin, but then she's not really my cousin." Billy stood there staring into his mom's green eyes, searching for understanding and hoping she could accept this. It was his birth-mom that broke the impasse. "Emeraude and I need to talk, William," said she. "Go outside and wait." As much courage as it took to stand up to his stepmom, Billy was glad to get out of that room. He was _William_ right now, and that was _not_ a good spot to be in.

Outside, he found the rest of the family in various stages of turmoil. Jake was excited to be going to a wedding. Lady and the pups were torn between happiness and profound dismay. JJ was the center of attention, and Billy imagined she was getting a dose right now from her mom. Searching around, he found his sisters standing off to one side, seeming to be observing the carnage. Star stepped off to come to his side, but by then Billy had spotted their dad. He waved his sister off and went straight to their father's side.

Finn the human was jabbing a stick into the fire-pit, looking about as happy to be a father-in-law as his wives had been. He felt more than saw his son come up. Glancing up into Billy's blue-grey eyes, he waited.

"Sooo," murmured Billy.

"You have strange taste in girls," opined Finn. "Says the guy who dated a piece of gum and a fireball," chuckled Billy. "Hey," said Finn, "you can't deny that Phoebes is _red hot_." The two men shared a laugh about Finn's dating preferences. Strangely enough, Billy had never had those 'awkward' moments with his dad that many of his schoolmates had. They had humor. Jokes carried them through when it came time to discuss sex or when Billy asked dangerous questions about why their family was so different. Humor saved them now, when Finn the Human was perilously close to losing it.

More seriously, Finn reminded his son, "she's trouble, Bill." For him, it wasn't the creepy of Billy dating his cousin. He knew better than anybody that he and Jake weren't blood-related. Finn was adopted. For Finn, it was Junior's _habits_ that were the problem. Billy nodded. He knew all about JJ's issues staying on the straight and narrow. The younger man answered that accusation with, "she's got a good job now, dad. She's... She's into tracking down relics from before the Mushroom War..."

Back inside the house, Emeraude was in a state close to tears. It was like the night they found out what Star had really been up to all over again. Beckoning her friend and partner, Simone said, "come and sit." It took a while for the wood-nymph to make herself move. She felt... _responsible_. She felt responsible for all of this. If Simone's son was thinking of taking this step with a relative, what did that say about their family? Was it because their family was already so _odd_ that it seemed marrying your cousin was ok?

Taking Emeraude's hand, Simone said, "tell me what you're feeling." A strangled sob left the wood-nymph's lips. Simone squeezed her hand. The gesture seemed to say that this was alright. "I feel...," stammered the wizard. "I feel like our family's coming apart. I feel like we're losing everything we worked so hard to build. Like we're losing our kids." Simone shushed her. Sliding an arm around her friend's shoulders, the housewife said, "our family's not coming apart, dear. It's growing." Emeraude looked up at her with a frown, and Simone reminded her, "I'm not thrilled about my son marrying that... _cougar_ , but we can't live their lives for them, Emeraude. We have to let them go and make their own decisions. I... wanted better for Billy, but if this is what he wants, I won't challenge it."

Emeraude nodded. She still intended to keep an eye on fucking Junior. She didn't– _wouldn't_ –trust that sneaky little bitch. Smiling, Simone replied, "on that we both agree, dear." Even if she _wasn't_ really Billy's first-cousin, Simone still disliked this little arrangement. She'd never liked the idea of Junior being part of their kids' lives. Grinning, she reminded her friend, "see? Nothing's changed. You still love Billy and Fionna. I still love Star. We're still a family, and we still have their backs. We're going to get through this..." Emeraude nodded. Rising, Simone said, "let's get back to the party. We may as well celebrate the engagement." Even if they were hoping it would be _short_.

 **So, yes, Billy likes it furry...**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

Billy couldn't help but notice the way his stepmom gave his girlfriend the eye. Emeraude's attitude hadn't really changed in the days since he'd announced he was marrying JJ. She didn't like it. Sometimes Billy feared that she would do something rather rash. That was especially bad when JJ did something snarky–often enough with his girl. When you added in the fact that JJ was tagging along for the summer camping trip, well, things were a touch worse.

Billy had hoped that his moms and dad would get accustomed to having JJ as part of the family. He'd hoped that the family vacation would be a time for them all to get used to this. Unfortunately that was not to be. His dad had bowed out early in the process. Things were getting bad in Candy-Town, and there were rumblings in Cocoa-City now too. They had three of the five cities of the Kingdom now experiencing some level of unrest. Finn just couldn't get away. It was almost the last year they would get to do this before Fionna and Star were old enough to be on their own. In the not real distant future, it might very well be separate vacations–or the kids would be bringing _their_ kids along.

Unfortunately, in spite of recognizing the significance, his mothers were in much the same spot as his father. The Grand Master's condition had taken a turn for the worse, and now Simon, Betty, and Emeraude were going to be heading to Wizard City to monitor the situation. Simone was going to be hanging around the house just in case too. She was her father's official campaign manager now, and she was basically waiting to spring into action to launch her father's bid to take over Wiz City.

Billy was on his own. He was determined to make the most of this opportunity. If he had his way, he would be moving out soon and starting a life in the Capitol with JJ. That would mean kids of his own, and he wouldn't get to see Fi and Star as much. He wanted to spend all the time he could with them while he could still do it.

Just now he was checking the camping gear. The family's habit had always been to hand each kid something to be responsible for so they learned how important it was not to forget things or to keep track of their stuff. Just like always, Star and Fionna had made sure they had their piece of things in hand. Done checking their gear, he closed the tailgate and latched it shut. Turning to his mothers, he gave them his most winning smile. His birth-mother's expression seemed to say that he'd be in hot water if anything happened. Emeraude's eyes were on JJ, who was telling the two girls a story just now.

JJ had come down in loose mom-shorts and a plain tee-shirt as if she was doing her best not to make waves, which was a shocking change of pace for the shapechanger. It had done some good with Billy's birth-mom, but Emeraude's distrust was still high. Now, as Billy approached, the wood-nymph said, "if I had any choice, Star would still be grounded..." Billy nodded. "Mom," he said, "she made a mistake. Let's... Let's let this go." With a heavy sigh, the wizard said, "I'm trusting you, Billy. Don't let me down." "Either of us," confirmed Simone. Billy chuckled, "we've got Bon along for the ride too. We'll be just fine." Leaning in, he hugged both his mothers, giving them a kiss on the cheek for good measure.

Turning away, he called out to the girls and Bubba, saying, "alright, everybody. Let's saddle up." JJ called shotgun, which was par for the course considering that she was his girlfriend. Boniface, Star, and Fionna piled into the back, with the two girls sandwiching the bubblegum prince. Checking the truck over one last time, Billy climbed aboard and, with one last wave for his moms, set out. The two beauties watched them go for a while. Then, when they were out of sight, Emeraude said, "I better get going." Simone gave her a peck on the cheek, promising to call. Then she headed inside to get her bag. She had business too. Both women climbed into their respective vehicles and set off.

Billy drove for hours across the dusty plains, taking back trails and side-roads that were hardly used anymore. In the early days, when Fi and Star had begun to have friends, Fi had balked at this. She'd cried for hours the first time they'd driven out of sight of everything as if she feared never getting back to the comfortable old treehouse. Later, as the kids discovered just how much fun it was to be out in the wilds of Ooo, Fi had come to like it almost more than anything else. She loved the romance and excitement of seeing new places and things, and it was clear to their parents that she'd inherited all her dad's love of wandering.

As the quintet drove, JJ led them in playing word games, teasing her cousins with riddles and sly questions that excited their lively minds while Billy focused on not getting them hopelessly lost. Not that he was immune, mind you. Just because they were an item didn't mean she didn't love to tease him too. Still, jokes and games couldn't keep them interested forever, and, in the end, first Star, then Fi, and finally Bubba lost interest. They drifted off into their own worlds, staring out the windows or, in Star's case, writing in her journal.

JJ asked her boyfriend questions about the things she saw around them. This wasn't somewhere the dog-icorn was likely to go. JJ was a city-girl, born and bred. Her mother was Princess Bubblegum's companion of long years, and Lady Rainicorn spent most all her time at the Court. The shapechanger could tell you all about which gangs were in what kingdoms. She could tell you who was hunting up old artifacts of the world before the bombs fell. She could find you a buyer for whatever old relic you had in your attic. She was absolutely hopeless out here in the wilds though. Billy did his best to educate her. He wanted to travel some too, and that would mean being able to manage living in the wilds. The Grid-People and their airliners were a new thing, and that made them far too expensive for little people like Billy and JJ.

It was midnight when he drew up on the campsite he'd chosen. His family had only ever been to this one once. His dad had brought them here when they were six and five respectively. They had run into why-wolves, forcing Finn and Emeraude to stay up all night guarding the camp, while Simone huddled in a tent with the kids until the sun came up, allowing them to pack and go. They'd never really come back until now.

Billy wanted this trip to be special though, so he'd skipped right past all the usual places they went. With the trail-lights blaring, he put his truck in park, set the brake, and climbed out, leaving his lady, his friend, and his sisters asleep inside. The young hero went around the campsite, setting trip-wires and snares to alert them of danger. As he went, he checked for sign of dangerous animals. When he'd confirmed there were none, he went and started getting the tents set up. Fionna and Bubba woke up while he was at that, and the two quickly piled out to help him. In short order, he had three tents set up and ready to go.

Fionna went and woke Star, while Bubba stashed his bedroll in his own tent. Billy went and collected his gear from the back of the truck, laying it out in the tent he was going to be sharing with JJ. Then, as Star and Fionna climbed into their tent, their brother went and collected his girlfriend. Caught somewhere between sleeping and waking, JJ snuggled in against him as he carried her to their tent and lay her inside their sleeping bag. Then he shut off the truck, turned out the lights, and turned in after her.

Morning found the air already warm when the little group climbed out of their beds. Billy immediately got a fire stoked up and started making up a breakfast. Sniffing herself, Fi announced, "I'm a little sweaty. Is there any water here?" Nodding, Billy said, "down that trail. Take a weapon." Fionna drew out her new toy, saying, "always got one..." Billy chuckled in amusement. She had fallen in love with that thing. Gathering up some clothes, Star and JJ joined her as they all headed down to the river. Bubba said, "I guess we can go when they get back." "Yeah," chuckled Billy. Much as Billy liked Bubba, he was not going to be down at the swimming hole scoping Fionna's bod. _Somebody_ had to be responsible.

The girls took their time, so that, by the time they returned, Billy had breakfast ready. He and Bubba had already eaten, and they immediately got up and headed off to wash too, leaving the girls in possession of the camp–and Fionna staring at the spot where her boyfriend had gone. "Your boyfriend's nice on the eyes," opined Junior. Fi blushed and grinned all at once. Star couldn't help rolling her eyes. The last thing Fi needed was encouragement!

"It's harmless fun," Junior reminded the young wood-nymph. "You can bet that guys stare at your butt too." Rolling her eyes, Fionna said, "yeah, I had to punch out a couple of those guys..." It was Star's turn to blush. She hadn't exactly been _innocent_ , but she'd had no idea. She'd been used to getting ignored. Then one day every flippin' dude in Toffee High decided to ask her out. It had been freak city for a moment. Fionna grumbled, "yeah, well a couple of those guys were planning to get in your pants whether you liked it or not." She'd bashed several of them personally. Not that Junior was at all interested in that. She was far more interested in the blonde's relationship with the candy prince.

Fionna had clung to Bubba Bubblegum so much at the family barbecue that pretty much everybody noticed. Some of Junior's siblings were wondering when the two were going to get engaged. Junior was more curious about bunny-girl's antics. She was obviously doing everything she could to reel him in. How far did that go? The curiosity was killing her. "So what's he like," asked Junior? At Fi's look of false innocence, Junior said, "you can tell me! I won't say anything to your mom!" Star howled laughter, saying, "he doesn't dare!"

At Junior's puzzled look, the wood-nymph said, "Bonnie Bubblegum won't let him so much as even _kiss_ a girl, and he's got to get permission to hold hands!" Fionna's face went into full flame, and she came close to slugging Star. Fortunately, sounds from the trail announced the boys coming back. Junior got busy dishing up breakfast. As she worked, she gave Fionna a grin and said, "well, we're out here far away from Bonnie Bubblegum. Maybe you can get what you want while you've got the chance..." Fionna blushed and ducked her head, but the shapechanger could tell she liked the idea.

After breakfast, Billy led the group up into the woods to an abandoned castle that lay near their camp. His dad had always intended to take the kids up to the castle when he brought them here all those years ago, but the why-wolves had sort of put the kybosh on that. Instead they'd spent the night in the tent and run home the next day. Now, the little group went climbing over rocks and through thickets, talking about whatever random bits came to their minds.

Arriving at the castle, they found a beautiful old ruin that looked to have stood in this spot for centuries. Hitching his pack higher, Billy announced, "should be just a few low-level monsters..." He'd been here a week ago cleaning the place out. The hero set out with his family following. Walking up into the castle, they passed fading frescoes on the walls of the gate-house. Boniface stopped to sketch them, causing Fionna to roll her eyes. She loved him, but boy did he take the fun out of things!

Leaving his sister with Bon, Billy the human walked on into the castle's courtyard. Looking around her, JJ opined, "I wouldn't mind living in a place like this." "What," said Star? "With trees growing out of the roof?" Billy grimaced. Star was apparently to naive to understand the implications. He'd known going in that JJ had expensive tastes. Honestly he'd worried about that, fearing he couldn't keep her happy. He couldn't afford a place like this. He certainly couldn't afford the army of servants needed to take care of it. Sidling up to him, his champagne wife slipped an arm around his. Laying her head on his shoulder, JJ reminded him of her genetic predisposition to have multiple kids at once. A nice _big_ house would let each kid have his own room. As she watched the by-play, Star took notes. Junior sure had her brother under control!

Almost before she completed the thought, a rumbling under their feet announced trouble. " _Scatter_ ," shouted Billy! As the trio scattered, a giant goo-worm broke the surface. Tentacles flailing, the disgusting beast targeted Star. The wizard spun to face the creature, raised her hand, and utterly failed to hurl a lightning bolt. "Dammit, ma," groused the wood-nymph as she changed plans and formed a less costly illusion instead. The misdirection worked, enabling the young wizard to dodge aside. As she tumbled out of the way, the beast's massive head slammed into the ground.

Drawing twin daggers, Star spun about to find Billy riding the monster's head, stabbing it repeatedly. Fionna ran past her, drawing her crystal sword. As Billy stabbed at the worm's tiny brain, Fi drove her sword into its guts. Star stood back, waiting on an opening. The hideous creature sprayed its toxic goo in an effort to hurt its tormentors, and the wood-nymph found herself knocking Bubba out of the way as he stared at the monster in obvious fascination. On the far side, Junior wrapped one stretchy arm around the worm's middle and the other around a tower, arresting the monster's flailing. Billy pierced it's stony brain, driving his sword in up to the hilt. At the same time, Fionna eviscerated the creature, emptying it's stomach on the ground.

Billy jumped from the head as the beast toppled, alighting beside his sisters with all the flare of their father. JJ asked, "is it dead?" "Pretty much," replied Fionna. JJ let go of the monster, as Billy declared, "now we know where the why-wolves went..." As Star and Junior simultaneously howled an emphatic, ' _ewwww_!' Billy and Fi began scooping treasure out of the muck that had been in the monster's gut. In response, Billy grinned and said, "waste not, want not. There's a _ton_ of monster stomachs between us and that castle, babe..."

Meanwhile, back in the Candy Kingdom, Finn the Human sat on the hopper trying to deal with the after-effects of three-day-old pizza. He'd known going in that it was probably a bad idea to eat the leftovers in the break-room fridge. He'd thought that maybe since they didn't look like a science-experiment, that he would get away with it. Now his stomach was telling a different story. As he was resolving to never again eat spoiled leftovers for the tenth (eleventh?) time, the door to the bathroom burst open and one of his dudes pounded on the stall door. Excitedly, the Banana-Guard announced, "hey, Finn! James's dudes are rioting in Chocago...!" Finn began to swear. He'd been thinking of going home and crashing. Now, he wiped up, hitched up his pants, and headed out to deal with yet another crisis.

"Get the Cookie-County Sheriff on the line," muttered the Captain of the Guard. "I need him to gather up as many of his guys as he can." The Chocago police chief was an incompetent hack, and Finn had been trying to replace him for years. Mayor Richard M. Doughnut had been blocking him. Now it was going to cost them dearly. Arriving in the situation room, he was disgusted to find his men watching a live video feed from downtown Chocago. Just as he'd feared, the Prophet's Disciples were running amok, smashing stores, burning things, and looting. Some of them were wearing riot helmets marked with the Chocago Police logo. Some were even carrying police shields and clubs!

"Got the Sheriff on the line, Finn," announced his aide. "He says that most of his men are dealing with a riot at Cakeville Prison. The Prophet's guys have taken over the infirmary and are threatening to kill the staff..." Finn groaned. He now sort of regretted sending so many of James's idiots to prison. Now they were causing trouble in jail too! "Get the heavy boys and start the chopper," growled Finn. He would have to go deal with this himself!

Minutes later, Finn found himself in the Banana-Guard's helicopter, crowded in amongst the heavily armed bananas that took care of his biggest problems. He was going to skin the police chief this time, and he'd skin the mayor too if needed. All of the far flung outposts of Candy-Kingdom law-enforcement were supposed to be treading lightly and trying not to spin things up with these guys. The more Finn had to smash these jokers, the more appeal James got.

The choppers flew high and fast, speeding across hundreds of miles to deposit the top operators of the Banana-Guard in the city by the lake. As his guys deployed to aid the beleaguered Chocago police, Finn stayed aboard the helicopter, calling the shots. The scene far below was a mess, with police scattered in isolated pockets getting pelted with rocks and beaten up and looters in some fairly large groups running wild through the streets. Knowing he needed mass to retake the streets, Finn gave the heavy boys instructions, directing them to one of the larger knots of police. Then, as the chopper swooped in low to drop sleep and fear-gas to disperse some of the crowds, his troops forced their way through to the large concentration of CPD. Step one was accomplished. Just a few hundred more steps to go.

The Banana Guard was there across most of the day, aggressively sweeping the town for rogues and looters, making hundreds of arrests. Finn was everywhere that day, his intimidating presence sending many of the weaker-willed looters scattering in terror and subduing the more violent. Sweeping the city from the west all the way to the east, driving the rioters before him, Finn the Human pressed the balky, _violent_ remnant against the shore and crushed them utterly. Leaving the Chocago Police in control, he then took his heavy-boys to Cakeville prison, stormed the infirmary, and rescued the hostages before turning for home.

Back at the camp, his kids were oblivious to all the turmoil back home. They had spent hours exploring the castle, dispatching random goo-skulls and skeletons, whacking the occasional giant ant, and even taking out a pair of why-wolves who'd managed not to get eaten by the worm outside. Fighting their way through grand hallways decorated in beautiful frescoes and mosaics–with Bubba doing his best to record everything he saw even as he did his best to help out–the quintet finally breached the main hall.

The ruined hall was choked with debris and vines as the five young people came striding along. Junior was in the lead, using her keen nose to sniff out trouble. Her fiancé, Billy, came right on her heels, carrying a flashlight. After came their wizard, Star, and after her came Bubba Bubblegum. Fionna brought up the rear, and she had her new sword primed and ready to go in her pocket. She was ready to throw down with anybody who tried to jump them. She would have been if she wasn't staring at Bubba Bubblegum's butt.

Fionna had been doing that the whole time they were in this musty old castle, and it made Star want to laugh out loud. Both older siblings had been at that all day. Billy simply couldn't tear his eyes off Junior's butt. She had a way of making her butt dance that simply mesmerized the oldest of the three Mertens siblings. It was a lot like Star's cousins and aunts, and Star couldn't help thinking that she was getting a lesson in handling dudes if even her big, tough older brother could have his brain turned to mush that way. As Star watched, the shapechanger stepped over a fallen column with Billy right on her tail. Billy, involved in watching that wiggling ass, went tripping over the broken stone, muttering curses–to Star's howls of mirth.

The older boy gave his sister a dirty look. Sitting down on the broken stone, he declared that they would take five and eat. As the others moved to secure places to sit, Billy massaged his injured foot. Settling onto the broken column beside him, JJ slipped an arm around his waist and lay her head on his shoulder. Meanwhile, Star got out some of the fuel they'd brought and began setting up the portable stove. A zap from her finger and they had a blazing fire going. Bon moved in with some chicken-stew he'd prepared before they left town and put it over the fire. As Fionna looked on in hunger, the candy prince stirred up dinner.

It was clear to Star, Billy, and Junior that the pretty blonde couldn't decide what she wanted to eat more–the prince or his cooking. As an oblivious Fionna stared at the object of her desire, Star began making faces–pretending as though she were the blonde girl making moon-eyes at the candy-prince. Junior really couldn't help it. She cracked up. That finally broke the spell on Fionna, who stared around her in puzzlement, wondering if somebody had farted or something. Shushing his pretty bride, Billy the human told his sister that there was nothing wrong and that maybe she should prepare the dishes for lunch. Fionna got out the bowls and passed out the spoons.

The little group dug in, chatting about the day as they ate Bubba's delicious chicken stew. The young prince asked Billy about how things were going with the Prophet James, and Billy had to stall him on that score. They had an active investigation going on after all. In his turn, Billy asked Bubba how his mother was. "Haven't seen her, I'm afraid," sighed Bubba Bubblegum. "She's been down in the Vault for weeks... And that clearly made Bubba nervous. Billy moved the conversation onward, chatting about Fionna's truck and all the work they were putting into it. They had beefed up the frame in several places, boxing the rails in, welding in gussets, and making the vehicle much stronger than it had been when it was built. The floor was now a double-layer of impact armor, and the axles had been greatly strengthened. All it really needed now was a little more protection for the engine.

"Once I get that done," said Billy, with a pointed look at Star, "Star and I can go out and find one for her." Fionna gawped at him. He hadn't offered to help _her_ get a truck! "Actually," said Billy, "dad and I both did. You just didn't listen." The jealous hussy had the good sense to be embarrassed. They all had a chuckle at Fionna's expense. Wrapping up supper, the quintet got the dishes packed and moved on to a little old-fashioned treasure-hunting.

Spreading out through the hall, they used their individual talents to search every knook and cranny. For Billy and JJ, it was Billy's keen eyesight and Junior's sense of smell. For Star it was her wizard powers. For Fionna and Bubba, it was the candy prince's endless array of gadgets. Fionna followed her sugary boyfriend all over the hall's near end as Bubba scanned this or that wall or column. It quickly became clear that he was far more interested in the walls themselves than what might be behind them. At first Fionna was irritated. And then, as the others got further and further away, she had other ideas.

Pushing the hand that held his electronic gadget down, Fionna stepped in close, slipped her arms around him, and lay her head against his. "Y'know," she whispered, "we're formally dating. Maybe you could put your arms around me." Bubba blushed. He'd been trying to get hold of his mother to formally let _her_ know, but she wasn't responding to anything–not calls, not IMs, not emails. Nothing. He was a little hesitant to do anything when he hadn't secured permission. At the same time, they were in a _dungeon_! It wasn't like Fi would want to do it _here_. Smiling, Bon slipped his arms around the beautiful blonde girl, holding her close. He even ran his hands through her long blonde locks, enjoying the feel of her hair under his fingers.

Unfortunately frustrated and horny Fionna wasn't quite satisfied with that. In short order, she was trying to escalate things to kissing. Bubba, eyes darting this way and that in fear, now tried to extricate himself from that compromising position. Seeing him trying to get away, Fionna spun him around and pinned him up against the wall. A panicked Boniface Bubblegum now started whispering urgently at her, trying to talk his way out of this. Fortunately the eldest Mertens sibling arrived to rescue him.

Billy had gotten halfway up the great hall when he noticed Fi and Bon were nowhere to be seen. He'd searched around in a panic at first until JJ started slyly suggesting that maybe they didn't _want_ to hunt for treasure. He knew his sister and her antics. It would have been _cute_ if Billy didn't know the pressure Bon was under from his mom. He was quite literally Her Royal Highness's _understudy_. Bonnibel Bubblegum rushed her son through school, then put him to work managing some of the disparate problems facing their Kingdom. The hard reality was that Bubba couldn't afford a feud with his mom, and, anyways, if Bonnie Bubblegum believed he needed to wait, she would get her way. "Hey guys," announced the older teen. "I guess we're all a little bored with treasure hunting so we can go back to camp now. Fionna's on s'mores duty!" A relieved Bubba slipped away from his frustrated girlfriend, declaring, "I know an _epic_ s'mores recipe!" In short order, he was beating feet down the hall, bound for the gate.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

She was losing focus.

 _Correction,_ thought Bonnibel Bubblegum, _you already lost it._ She had been so deep into the problem that she'd literally lost days. She honestly had no idea just how long she'd been at it. She'd slept here in this place. She'd eaten here. She'd been so hard at it, that she wasn't really even sure what time of the day it was outside. Her world was in jeopardy. Everything she had built was at risk right now, and she'd felt no choice but to carry on. If she didn't figure out what was going wrong, the Candy Kingdom–her people–would _starve_.

 _You need fresh thinking,_ she decided. She hadn't worked this long or this hard in centuries. She'd gotten better about taking breaks from work since having children of her own. All of that went out the window when the Spoon of Plenty ceased to create the bounty the Kingdom relied on to survive. It had started as a momentary hiccup, with the Spoon producing rancid trash instead of the delicious food that she needed. The caretakers at the factory had pressed on, making all the deliveries for that week. Unfortunately, the Spoon's glitches had come more and more often until now it was completely nonfunctional. Production had been down for weeks, and Bonnie had been unable to get it restarted. The Candy Kindgom was living on borrowed time right now, and this crisis made the zombie outbreaks seem like a joke.

Rising from the console, Bonnie turned and went across to the terminal in the corner. She was struggling just now–torn between going home and getting good sleep or taking a nap on the cot she had down here. While she worked her way through the pros and cons of that decision, she decided that she really ought to check her email and look at her son's latest reports. Her boy was irritated with her. She knew he was worried, but she'd been unable to break away long enough to sit down with him. Now she decided that maybe she ought to call him up on the phone or go and see him.

The first message she came to was innocuous. Boniface had gone out with Finn's family on their annual picnic. "Is it really that time of the year already," she babbled? She would have sworn the kids were still in school! She'd been on that camping trip a couple of times early on when the kids were all very young, and she'd tried to convince Marceline to come along too. Later on, work had gotten in the way, and when the kids got to the age where it started to matter to them who their father was, she'd shied away from it. Still, she was happy her son was getting to go while he had the luxury and thankful that Finn still invited him.

Moving on, Bonnie went down the list of messages, finding most seemed to contain the usual requests to see her and concerns about her health. She was working down through the list, deleting them as she went, when she came across the dangerous one. It started with an eye-catching but innocuous subject: I found someone. Curious and puzzled all at once, the candy princess opened the file and quickly skimmed the contents. As she read, she began to get a sense for what had been going on these last months without her knowledge, and she was _horrified_.

Grabbing at her hair, she immediately turned the computer towards a search for her wayward son. That quickly failed as she discovered that he wasn't in the palace nor any of the other places she knew he haunted. Her mind went back to Finn's camping trip. He'd gone on the camping trip! What was she going to do? She needed to talk to him before he did something tragic. _Get hold of yourself,_ the candy-princess thought. Finn would be there. Finn wasn't going to let her son bang his daughter! Not right there in front of his face! She had a little time. She would have to sit Boniface down when he got home and warn him off of pursuing Fionna.

Shivering, Bonnie moved on. She had other emails to get through. Ironically, many of them were from Finn. He had the usual reports about trouble in Candy-Town. Bonnie knew that James was becoming a problem, but she really didn't have the time to deal with him right now. She would take care of the problem when she had a free moment. If she could get things sorted with the Spoon of Plenty, a lot of James's ammunition would evaporate. Why would her people risk civil war after all to follow _him_?

As she went to close Finn's latest report, she noticed something disturbing. It was time-stamped for _today_ –fifteen minutes ago _today_! Bonnie went back to her son's email. He'd sent it a day ago. By his words, he was already gone–off on a camping trip with Finn's family. So how was it that Finn was sending her emails if he was off on a camping trip? A renewed surge of panic struck the candy-monarch. Finn wasn't with them. He was still _here_ keeping tabs on her would-be rebel.

Shooting to her feet, she rushed to her coat, just now hanging up by the door. Rifling through the pockets, she came up with her phone and dialed 666–the number of her butler and resident black magician. As she fidgeted and fussed, the phone rang and rang. The candy-royal began to get more and more agitated. Where was he? While she waited, her mind went in slow circles, as she tried to figure out if this was as bad as it seemed. Was her son out there with Fionna by himself? _Take it easy, Bonnie,_ thought the princess. _Maybe E and Simone are with them._ She clung to that thought as the minutes dragged by. She hit redial again and again until finally her manservant picked up.

"Hello, Princess," said Peppermint Butler. "I was indisposed..." Bonnie flushed as she realized that he'd been taking a dump when she called. She felt a little embarrassed about dragging him off the hopper like that, but this was important. "Never mind that, Peps," said Bonnie. "Where's Finn?" "Captain Finn's been by several times, Your Highness," explained the manservant. "I know he's been by," interrupted the princess! "Where is he _now_?!" "At his office," replied Peppermint Butler. "He's dealing with the ri..." "I need t'get down there," said the Princess! "Meet me at the Vault!" And then she hung up. "Oh, dear," sighed the butler. "I guess I better bring the car around."

Thirty minutes later, one of Finn's guards announced the arrival of Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum. Finn, who had been in the Situation Room with his lieutenant and the leader of the Heavy Boys, was happy to finally have her attention. The Captain of the Guard told the messenger to take the princess to his office. Then, telling his officers to go on without him, he headed upstairs to meet her. The Princess was standing in front of the window when he came into the room. As he moved to the desk, he greeted his friend with, "glad you could come down..." His sort-of ex-girlfriend turned and came wobbling towards him, telling him something about how deep into work she'd been.

Bonnie looked haggard and drawn as she stopped before Finn's desk. It was the first time he'd seen her in _weeks_ , and she looked like hell. It reminded him of the time she'd created Goliad, staying up for days on end to finish the work. Shooting to his feet, Finn immediately moved to get her seated. "I-I'm ok," stuttered Bonnie. "No, you're not," retorted Finn. Bonnie blushed as he shoved her into the seat in front of his desk.

Knowing she was probably dehydrated, he went out to the hall, got her some water, and brought it back, making sure she drank it all. Sitting down on the edge of his desk, he said, "we gotta' talk about Candy-Town, Peebles..." "I'm not here for that," muttered the candy monarch. Finn frowned at her. He'd been bugging Peppermint Butler for _weeks_ to get her to return his calls. Nothing. So what the fuck was she here for if not that?

"I'm given to understand that you gave my son permission to see Fionna," murmured Bonnie. From the tone of her voice he learned two things. One, she knew she was steering into the ditch. And second, she wasn't happy about the development. Finn decided to take the bull by the horn, announcing, "what, you don't _want_ them dating? They've been friends almost since they were born." Fionna was just a few months older than Bon. They were aces together. "I know you like Fionna," said Finn. Fionna and Peebles got along great–when Peebles wasn't in the fucking lab.

"So what gives, PB," asked Finn? "Why _can't_ they date?" She knew what he was thinking. He thought she was too stuck-up to have her son dating his daughter. It... _hurt_ that he could believe that about her after all they'd been through together. At the same time, she knew she could use that to hide the truth. _Except I can't,_ thought Bonnie. Lies had put them in this jam. She couldn't let this go. If she lied, that could see her son and Finn's daughter circumventing her decision. That was what kids did after all.

Taking a deep breath, Bonnie looked her one-time boyfriend in the eye and said, "we can't, Finn. They're genetically related." Finn just stared at her. That... didn't make sense. With a heavy sigh, the Princess explained, "I wanted you, Finn. I always loved you. I never stopped. Just like you guessed, work was in the way. When Simone got you... I... _hurt_. It hurt so bad, there were times where I cried for hours." He'd never have guessed that. He'd always assumed that Bonnie was above needing somebody.

With a heavy sigh, she admitted, "I was jealous of Simone, Finn. She was getting to have your baby, and I wasn't. Sooo... I made one." "I beg your pardon," said Finn with a frown. Blushing to the roots of her pink hair, Bonnie admitted, "when we brought you in and you were hypothermic, I... uh... I took a sample of your stuff..." Finn's jaw came open, and he too blushed. Bonnie told him, "I mixed it with some of my eggs... and..." "You mean...," stammered Finn? "Boniface is your son, Finn," sighed Bonnie. "I was afraid to tell you. Things were already pretty complicated with Simone and Huntress."

Her Captain of the Guard grabbed his hair. " _Bonnie_...," he growled! "That's... It's..." Bonnie shrugged. "That's messed-up," howled Finn! Then, spinning around to face her, he demanded, "and Shoko?" Bonnie nodded. Both her kids were Finn's. Staring at the wall–in the direction where he'd last seen his _daughter_ , Finn pulled on his long, blonde hair. What the fuck was he going to tell Fionna?! With shaking hands, Finn reached down and picked up the phone. Before Bonnie's eyes, he started dialing. "Wh-who're you calling," asked the princess? "My wives," retorted Finn. They needed to know.

Miles away, Finn's kids had just returned from a long hike up into the mountains. They had all had a grand time bashing monsters and exploring. Star, who was in a better mood than she'd been in since the night she got grounded, was full of the excitement of the day, and she couldn't stop talking. Usually it was Fionna who was the chatterbox, but today it was her sister. The older girl was happy to let Star talk. Her mind was on her boyfriend. Now that they were out in the open, she could get Bubba to hold her hand, even if he didn't dare do anything else.

Fionna had asked her brother about his wedding plans, sort of as an introduction to the idea of getting hitched to Bubba, and Billy was now expounding on all that he wanted to do. He wanted a big wedding with all their friends and family invited. Then he wanted to take JJ on the train to one of the more distant kingdoms just to see what they were like. With her mind alive with the excitement of the day, Star had to know just which kingdom they were going to. Both Junior and Billy had their ideas, with the human boy blurting out, Grid-Face Kingdom, while Junior answered, "Jungle Kingdom." Which only made Star laugh. "You better work on that," teased the wood-nymph.

"I think they should do Jungle Kingdom," announced Fionna. "Oh," asked Billy? He knew very well that Fionna had an axe to grind against Nadia, the Grid-Face Princess. The cyborg woman shamelessly flirted with their dad every time she was in the Candy Kingdom, and she was forever reminding the great hero of Ooo that he was her Royal Champion. Their mothers put up with it. Nadia's flirting was harmless, and she was actually a really good friend of the family's. Fionna replied, "we've already been to the Grid-Face Kingdom." Of course they had been _babies_ at the time.

Warming to the topic, the pretty blonde explained, "dad's been over all of the near kingdoms. We should start a tradition. We should start hitting the far kingdoms, so we can say there's been somebody from our family in all of 'em." "Not a bad idea," said Junior. "Whaddya think, babe? Jungle Kingdom?" "Sure," agreed Billy. The five of them walked back into their camp to find a bear sniffing around the truck where they'd stashed the cooler with their food. Almost immediately the gang started trying to shoo the bruin away, shouting and yelling and waving their arms. Junior got quite into the business, using her stretchy-powers to take on a frightening shape that had the beast running in terror.

The beast left the little group howling laughter and clapping for Junior. "Thank-you, thank-you," said Junior. "I'll be here all week!" Chuckling, Billy said, "let's get dinner started." Opening the back of his truck, he got the cooler out. Fionna went to work building up the fire, while Star and Bubba got out the cooking gear. Bubba did the honors, frying up wonderfully marinaded chicken that cooked with a weird purple glow and a heavenly fragrance.

As the food got dished out, JJ went back to the truck and, after rummaging around inside for a bit, came up with a bottle of wine and five glasses. As her fiancé watched in concern, she came back and started handing out glasses to everyone. "Uh, JJ," murmured Billy. The shapechanger knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth. Cutting him off, she said, "it's just a little wine. C'mon, babe. Your sisters are almost adults. Can't they celebrate becoming seniors?" Both girls were staring at him with those eyes. He had always found it hard to say no to Fi and Star. "Ok," said he. "Just a little." Winking at her cousins, Junior agreed, "just a little."

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Simone and Emeraude had come rushing to Finn's office when they heard the news. It was so unbelievable, Simone wasn't sure Finn wasn't pulling some kind of horrible prank on her. He'd pulled some doozies on her over the years they'd been married. Still, knowing the awful consequences of what Finn had said, she'd been so terrified she called Phoebe to literally _carry_ her home from Wizard City. Emeraude had come tearing down the road from their home to get to Finn's office, nearly wrecking her truck four times. Now, standing there in Finn's office, they listened in shock as Bonnie explained the preposterous story one more time.

When the candy-woman got to the awful punchline of her _joke_ , Simone shouted, "you did _what_?!" Blushing, Bonnie said, "I didn't think it would be a problem. Finn got to see his kids without even knowing it. His kids got to see him. You two got to have Finn to yourselves, and your kids got him every day. Everybody won." Except her. She was the only person getting hosed on the deal. She'd taken a lot of cold showers over the years, and the old electric candy-cane had gotten a lot of action.

Huntress wanted to belt her. Simone's only thought was for the kids. What the hell were they going to tell Fionna?! And poor Bubba. He'd been such a gentleman! "You need to fix this, Bonnie," growled Phoebe! "There's nothing to fix," retorted the candy princess. "Boniface is... He'll just have to get over it. They both will. They're young. They'll find somebody else." Phoebe face-palmed. She wanted to belt Bonnie too. This idiot had just screwed up two lives, and all she could say was, 'they'll get over it?!' "Is there anything _else_ we should know," rumbled Huntress? Bonnie's blush suggested she was hiding something else. It was always layers with her, and Phoebe was quick to pick up on it. "There's another child, isn't there," asked the fire-elemental? Blushing, Bonnie admitted, "I may have loaned Marceline some of Finn's stuff too..." " _Loaned_ ," howled Phoebe?! "You can't _loan_ his stuff out! It doesn't belong to you!"

In all of this, they all seemed to have forgotten Finn. He sat there in the corner in a state of shock. He had three kids he hadn't even known about! Now, that sudden revelation made something click in his mind, and he found himself thinking back to the conversation he'd had just a few weeks ago with Shoko. Shoko had been sneaking out to go on dates with someone that she didn't want her mother to know about. Finn had had his suspicions about just who that was, and Shoko hadn't really denied those suspicions. Now, Finn was struck with the dreadful feeling that there was more at stake than Fionna and Bon making a mistake. Bonnie's son was a gentleman, and Finn knew that in spite of his rather fast daughter's antics, the young man wasn't going to do anything stupid before marriage. Marshall Lee was another story entirely.

Rising in a rush, Finn was out the door before any of the women even realized what was happening. He heard E calling after him, but Finn didn't really have time to explain. Rushing out to his truck, he jumped behind the wheel and tore out of there. When Phoebe would have gone after him to find out what was wrong, Simone stopped her. "He's got to go confront Marshall," sighed the former sorceress. That made no sense to anyone. There was plenty of time for him to go and talk to Marshall Lee Abadeer. It had waited this long. What did a few more days matter? With a heavy-hearted sigh, Simone turned to Bonnie and said, "because your daughter was dating him..."

Bonnie's jaw came unhinged. She'd never had any fear that Boniface would get in trouble with his sister. She knew her son's quality. She'd put the fear of Glob into him about what would happen if he went out and got some girl preggers. She'd all but scared him impotent. She trusted that he wasn't going to go jumping into bed with anybody without consulting with her first. She'd given no thought to Shoko, reasoning that her daughter hadn't even begun to think about boys that way yet. The knowledge that Shoko had been seeing Marshall Lee scared her witless.

Bonnie's knees buckled, and Phoebe had to catch her before she fell. The only thing that kept her from being burned was her flame-resistant lab-coat. The elemental woman got her steered into a chair as Bonnie babbled, "wha... how long has this been going on?" "We don't know," replied Simone. "Finn figured it out. He stopped Shoko from sneaking out to see Marshall, but he's been tied up so much dealing with your Prophet problem, we're not sure how long they were meeting."

The candy-woman's face was a study in anguish. This was _horrible_! How could Marceline have allowed this? Which was a stupid question from the word go. She already knew that answer. _Easy, Bonnie,_ thought the candy princess. Marceline raised her son like a weed. She rarely took the time to get to know just what he was up to. It wouldn't have surprised Bonnie to find that there were dozens of pregnant girls all across Ooo!

And her daughter might be one of them!

 _When you fuck up,_ thought the Princess, _you really screw the pooch!_ She'd been so busy trying to figure out what was going on with the Spoon of Plenty, that she'd all but forgotten she _had_ kids, counting on Finn to make sure they stayed out of trouble. And honestly, Finn had done just that. From what Simone was saying, Finn had had a nice, long chat with Shoko about her excursions outside the palace walls. Except Finn hadn't had any idea that Marshall and Shoko were related. His thoughts had been focused on keeping them from making a baby out of wedlock! Bonnie grabbed her hair and screamed in frustration. She felt like a complete fool. She'd thought she had this together. She'd never thought about the effects of hormones on the whole equation!

There was Bubba, with Finn's genes... He'd probably inherited Finn's love of big tits. And along comes Fionna, carrying a healthy helping of her mother's DNA–giving her the sort of endowment that would have raised a big dick on a statue. _Poor boy,_ thought Bonnie. _He never stood a chance!_ They were _made_ for each other. If they weren't related, it would have been funny. Except they were out there in the wilderness doing who knew what with all that bad DNA! Rising, she said, "we have to send out a search-party! We've got to find those kids!" Phoebe still wanted to belt her, but she said, "I'm on it. I'll have a party from my army hit every dungeon between here and Oceanside." Without a further word, she went to the balcony and went soaring into the sky.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

Finn tore through the streets of the Candy Kingdom's capitol city, lights flashing and sirens blaring. It was the craziest emergency the hero had responded to in his entire life. His son was trying to bang his daughter. He knew Marshall's quality. He'd been quietly smoothing ruffled feathers for the young man for years, starting when Marshall was just leaving middle-school. The young man had formed a little gang of punks and spent a few months being the terror of his school, tagging the buildings with graffiti and using his vampire powers to get away with it. Finn had quietly talked the principal out of pressing charges.

More to the point, Finn just knew the young man was sexually active. Marceline had shown up at Finn's office one day crying about it. She was at her wits-end trying to raise him by herself. Of course she'd only wanted to cry on somebody at the time. Every time Finn tried to intervene, she made it clear–sometimes violently–that she didn't want him involved. Now, ironically, he understood it. If he'd gotten close, he might have found out the truth.

Exiting the town gates, Finn went tearing across country, the truck bucking and jumping underneath him. Only the hardened frame and off-road suspension kept him from snapping the thing in half as he drove at high-speed towards Marceline's cave, praying that Marshall was there right now. It was too late, of course. It was already too late. Marshall was a persuasive and charming rogue just like his momma. If he'd charmed Shoko's panties off, it was well past time to put a stop to it. They would be closing the barn door after the horses had all run off.

 _But I have to know,_ thought Finn.

As fast as he drove, it still took the better part of an hour to reach Marcy's place. Throwing the truck into park almost before he had it stopped, Finn dove out the door. Leaving the lights flashing, he went tearing down the slope to the cave entrance. Only when he was standing there staring into the darkness did he remember that he'd left his flashlight in the truck. Cussing up a storm, he raced back up the hill to retrieve it.

Moments later, Marceline, who'd been enjoying a relatively pleasant evening for a change, heard the knocking on her door. She'd been about to go out. After a restless day putzing around on the keyboard she'd been considering going out. Marshall was home for a change, and she was thinking of taking him to a show–sort of a way to make amends for the ugly fights they'd had the last six months or so. Now, as she floated over to the door in puzzlement, she found herself considering chasing her visitor off.

Opening the door, she found the one person she wasn't expecting. Simon and Betty had been bugging her about helping with Simon's campaign, and she'd more or less assumed it would be one of them, come to hit her up. Instead she got the one person she thought she'd never really see again. She'd put a lot of effort into being a jerk to Finn, and he'd finally sort of gotten the hint and gotten out of her life. "Finn," she murmured, a little startled by the intensity on his face.

"I want to see him," growled Finn. "I want to see my son, Marcy." The vampire blinked owlishly. Then, " _she told you!_ " Nodding, Finn shoved his way past her and into her house. "I can't believe she told you," howled Marceline! "She didn't have a choice," growled Finn! "We barely stopped Bubba and Fionna from doin' it!" At least Finn _hoped_ they had. The kids weren't back from the camping trip yet. Marceline's face went hot. "W-what does that mean," she babbled? "It means that I want to know what Shoko and Marshall have been doing," growled Finn!

Marceline flushed to her hair. She'd known Marshall wasn't chasing some anonymous slut. Her son would get strangely _giddy_ when he was getting some. He would smile a lot and whistle to himself and generally do his best to look _obnoxiously_ happy. He'd been acting a _little_ bit like that, but there had been some key differences–ones that alarmed the Vampire Queen all the more. She'd feared her child was falling in love.

His antics irritated Marcy on multiple levels. One, he was a kid still. He couldn't handle raising a kid. Marceline was more than a thousand years old, and she was whiffing pretty badly. Two, since he couldn't effectively take care of a kid, whoever the proud baby-momma was would be in his pockets until the tyke grew up. And three, he was her son. If he went wandering off, she would be alone again. Now a horrified Marceline realized that this was far worse than any of that. If he'd been banging his sister...

Attracted by the noise, the young man himself came floating out of the little bedroom in back of the kitchen. Finn had helped build that room. He'd told Marcy that she wasn't going to be able to manage with just the room upstairs where she slept, and he, Simon, and Jake had just shown up one day with a pile of materials and built it. Stretching and yawning, the half-breed, rumbled, "'sup, Finn."

Striding towards his wayward son, Finn demanded, "what have you been doing with Shoko, Marshall? I've heard you were taking her out to clubs. I need to know what you were doing." " _Dude_ ," complained Marshall. "No need t'be a wad, Mr. Police- _man_... Like what me and Shoko do's our P-biz..." "And I'd agree," retorted Finn. "Except Shoko's your sister." The half-vampire wasn't sure what shocked him more–the fact that the weenie, Mr. Po-Po himself, would have been ok with him banging the Princess or the news that the tasty piece of candy was his sister. Ordinarily the rebellious youth would have dismissed that as a lie. Except Finn had never been anything but straight with him. "Wow," muttered the dhampir.

More hits were coming. "I'm sorry, Marshall," sighed Finn. "I just found out about all of this. I don't expect this changes our relationship..." Marceline tried to intervene, pushing Finn aside. "What's he talking about, mom," asked the youth? "Nothing," lied the vampire! "He's going!" Marshall pushed her aside. "What's the deal, Finn," asked the young man? Marcy kept signaling Finn to shut up. Finn ignored her. "I'm your dad, Marshall," sighed Finn. "I'm sorry. I didn't know..." Marshall's eyes went wide. Suddenly a lot of things made sense.

He'd seen his mother pining for somebody more than once. She never would say who when he asked. She'd done a lot to keep Marshall from seeing the kids he'd kind of grown up with. Once he hit thirteen, he'd been forced to cut Bubba, Shoko, Fionna, Star, and Billy out of his life. Now he knew why. Marshall's eyes blazed red as he turned to face his half-demon mom. "You fucking _lied_ to me," snarled Marshall! " _Again_! I fucking _hate_ you!" With that, the dhampir stormed out, slamming the door hard enough to knock the pictures off the wall. He left a devastated Marceline and a shocked and disturbed Finn standing there in Marcy's living room.

The vampire immediately transformed into demon-wolf form, snarling, "this is all your fault! You had to butt in...!" Finn wasn't having any of that. Not today. He jabbed a finger into her snout, saying, "nope. Not taking the blame for this, Marceline. _You_ did this." Without a further word, he turned and stalked out, slamming the door just as hard as his son had. Rushing to the door, Marceline tore it open. "Don't you turn your back on me," she howled! Finn waved flippantly at her. Right now his concern was for his boy. He knew Marshall would be hurting, and he needed to track him down to make sure he was alright.

Meanwhile, Finn's other kids were having a party. In spite of Billy's earlier admonishment, the gang had managed to polish off the entire bottle of wine, and they were feeling no pain. Billy had his portable radio going, tuned to his favorite Rock station. Listening to the radio with her boyfriend at her side, having spent a fun day in the wilderness doing crazy stuff, Junior was genuinely happy. Taking Billy by the arm, she stood up, dragging him along with her. When they were both on their feet, the shapechanger lay her head on Billy's shoulder. The young hero got the message. Slipping his arms around her, he began to dance with her.

Fionna watched in fascination for several minutes. She'd honestly been a little shocked to see Billy, who had every girl in school (teachers included) in lust with his hot bod, dating Junior. Sure she looked good now, but it seemed kind of _artificial_ to Fionna. Now, as she saw the chemistry between them, she realized that maybe she was wrong. Of course that gave her ideas of her own. Taking Bubba by the hand, she too stood up and began to dance. For once her wishy-washy boyfriend didn't argue. After all, dancing was _safe_. Bubba Bubblegum happily twirled his girl around the campfire as they listened to the beat coming over the airwaves from home.

Star watched her sister and brother and found herself wondering when her turn would come. When was she going to find somebody? She hoped not to end up like her mother–alone and miserable. At the same time, she knew that life wasn't going to be easy for her. As a wood-nymph she'd be starting out with a handicap. Glancing over at his little sister, Billy asked, "whatcha' thinkin' on, Star?" She said, "wishing I'd brought somebody." Billy blushed, but Bubba came to their rescue, offering to dance with Star if she wanted. Blushing herself, Star glanced to her sister. "Sure," said Fionna. "Why not?" Eagerly, the younger teen got up, as her sister sat down.

The five danced that way for several more hours, with Billy and Bubba switching off to dance with whichever of the three girls wanted to dance. They were having a grand time, and it was almost a shame to see it come to an end. Still, just as he always had, Billy made sure his sisters were in bed at a reasonable hour–and that Bubba went to bed in his _own_ tent just to be sure. While he didn't begrudge Fionna her desire to move things on in their relationship, he understood what Bubba was going through. Bonnie was tough on her kids, and he didn't want Fionna getting the poor guy in hock with his mom.

Billy made the rounds of the camp, setting up tripwires to warn them of the approach of wildlife–whether two or four legged. He banked the coals in the fire pit, put the cooler with their food away, and then retired to the tent he shared with JJ. Crawling inside, he found his girl kneeling there with a comb in her hair, teasing out her long, blonde hair. She was wearing a sexy red nighty with matching panties. She had her back to him, showing off her cute little butt and the strange bone protuberance at the base of her spine.

"Having a good time, _cousin_ ," she teased? She liked to tease him about that, even if they weren't really cousins. Kneeling behind her, Billy took the comb from her hand and started running it through her silky mane. Leaning forward, he put his lips to her ear and murmured, "yeah. Best camping trip ever." JJ shivered at the way he said that. His left hand stroked her narrow shoulders, feeling the soft downy hair there. "Billy," she asked? "Yeah, babe," replied the hero? "What if...," she started to say? She paused that way, looking as if she were worried about something. "What," he asked?

His hand was stroking her back, making her feel all tingly inside. Moments like these, she almost forgot about what she was and all the problems she had. When she was with him, she wasn't a misfit and borderline sociopath. When she was in his arms, she didn't have a monster inside her, trying to get out. She was beautiful and desirable. Turning around, she threw herself on him, saying, "never mind. Just... Just make love to me." Billy was happy to agree to that. His hands were sliding up and down her thin arms, stroking the soft, downy hair, teasing her flesh. He made her feel so good–so _comfortable_. She was comfortable in his arms like no-one she'd ever known before.

The chill touch of steel was all the warning she had before she heard the click of Billy's handcuffs locking tight around her wrists, binding her arms behind her back. Her handsome younger man pushed her over on her back. Leaning over her, he smiled down at her. Stroking her thin shoulders, he told her, "I'll make you feel good, babe..." His hands began to stroke her flat belly and her slim hips, sliding up and down her body. Soft sighs left her lips as he teased her, stroking her flesh. Leaning down, he kissed her sweet lips, his tongue gliding over her sharp canines. His girl was unique in all of Ooo.

Just like always, he teased her, touching her closer and closer to her sensitive places. Sometimes that drove her crazy. Sometimes it made her swear at him. Tonight, whether because of the wine they'd drunk or something else, it just made her hotter. She lay there wriggling and shivering under him as he finally began to caress her boobies. Soft moans escaped her lips as he caressed her tidy little rack. Unlike his dad, he liked them small like this. He could practically fill his hands with them. JJ's back arched, telling him she was really getting into this, and her head twisted from side to side. The slinky little sexpot began to rub her thighs together, telling him she was getting all hot and bothered.

Jerking her thighs apart, he made her stop, causing her to howl in frustration. The handsome young man pressed his thumb against the damp spot in her panties and began rolling it around, tormenting her button and making her whine in heat. Her hips surged up, trying to press her snatch against his hand, but he continued to tease her, pulling his fingers away. As she sobbed in frustration, Billy jerked the crotch of her panties aside and stuck two fingers up her nasty, squishy pussy. "Aaaah," howled the shapechanger. "B-Billy..." Knowing his sisters might hear, Billy stuck the dirty panties she'd been wearing up in the castle into her mouth, silencing her. At the same time, he continued to slide his fingers in and out of her, working them deeper and deeper, searching for her g-spot.

His woman thrashed and shook as a hot orgasm hit her. As he continued to caress her tidy little knobs and finger her hot gash, her back arched, and she thrust her hips at his hand, grinding her crotch into his palm. Putting his lips to her ear, he said, "I love you, JJ. I'm so glad you _came_." JJ screamed into her gag as he found her g-spot at last.

As she lay there panting, he got out of his climbing boots and pants. His pecker was hard as a rock in his shorts. Fishing his pecker out of his fly, Billy climbed aboard. Grasping both her ankles, he pushed her legs up and back, almost bending her double, but JJ was flexible. Easing his fat dong into her honey-pot, Billy put her knees up on his shoulders. And then he began to bang her. Hard.

That really drove her crazy. He was a little worried about his horny sister. JJ was screaming so much now that there was no way Fi didn't hear it. That would mean Bon catching hell tomorrow because he had sworn not to do it with any girl until marriage. At the same time, there was no way Billy was neglecting his woman. Hot girl goo practically poured out of her, coating the tent's liner in her cream. It wasn't the first time they'd gotten the tent a little nasty.

"Oh, baby," moaned JJ. "You do it so _good_!" She'd been ambivalent about the whole 'getting married' thing. She'd been conflicted about what that would mean for her life and all the things she was doing. Moments like these, she couldn't be bothered to care. She was happy. When she was with him, the dreadful _hunger_ inside her went away. Billy's hands stroked her slim body, sending shivers and chills up and down her spine. His teeth nibbled at her ear and at the side of her throat. "Oh, Billy," she moaned as she went over again. He was driving her crazy.

Above them, four fire-wolves made trails of luminescent orange as they circled in the darkened sky. Babs and her team had been called out of their barracks by none of other than the commanding general himself and sent on this mission with barely a moment to prepare. It was a matter of critical importance, or so the general had said. Babs had jumped at the chance to have a mission worthy of their talents, and she'd been excited to get started. At least she had until she got the actual orders.

"It's not fair," groused Pete. "We have to go out and pick up these losers." "Shut it," rumbled Babs. "I think that might be them below." Turning to her scout, Doug, the elemental woman commanded, "go down and look into the camp. See if you can locate Prince Bubblegum." "As you wish, my captain," muttered the irritated elemental. Doug wasn't much more interested than Pete in doing this ridiculous search. Turning his mount, he quickly dove on the camp below, swooping down at high speed. At the last minute, he broke out of his dive, his mount flared, and alit with the grace of a dancer. The scout dimmed his flames down and crept through the darkness to the edge of the little camp.

They had one of the strange self-propelled conveyances that had become so common in the Candy Kingdom in the last ten years. There were three shelters, all ridiculously flammable. It astonished him what passed for _shelter_ for these soft creatures. Creeping through the camp, he felt the dieing embers of a fire and felt pity for it, wondering why they had let it die instead of nurturing it. He could sense the latent heat of two of the strange flesh-creatures in one of the shelters along with the heat of a third all alone in a second.

And then there was the third shelter.

Doug was appalled and astonished by the sounds coming from that shelter. It was just as the Candy Monarch had feared! Her offspring was fornicating with his sister! Incensed by the fool's thoughtless act, the elemental fired a burst of flame at the shelter, setting it alight to scare the fool boy.

Inside the tent, Billy was just about to shoot off when the tent went up. Startled, he fell backwards, banging his head against one of the supports. JJ, encumbered by handcuffs, squealed in panic. Shaking off the cobwebs from hitting his head, Billy scrambled out of the tent, dragging his fiancé with him. And there he found himself face-to-face with a fire-elemental. Groggy and still drunk, the others started to come stumbling out of their tents as well, and soon the scout was face to face with all five. Billy took up a position to protect his friend and family. Thinning her arms out, Junior let the cuffs drop off her wrists, and she took up a fighting stance beside her boyfriend.

Doug blushed to his flaming hair as he realized that he had just set fire to somebody else's shelter. This wasn't the prince at all. The prince had apparently been sleeping alone. "I'm here to bring Prince Bubblegum back to his mother," rumbled the embarrassed scout. "What the fuck," demanded Billy?! "You could have killed us!" "Uh, Bill," rumbled Star? "Yeah, sis," rumbled Billy. "You might want to put yourself away..."

As an embarrassed Billy the Human scrabbled around for some clothes that _weren't_ on fire, his father clambered up to the top of a jagged, broken-off skyscraper to find his new/old son there. "How'd you find me," muttered Marshall? Not even his mother knew to look for him here. "I brought you here," said Finn. "Your mom left you with me, while she was in the Night-O-Sphere, and I brought you up here. You were two at the time." Marshall's head whipped around. The big man was standing there just as Marshall always remembered him–a big wall of blue.

"Wow," rumbled the dhampir. "This place... It always seemed like I remembered it from somewhere." This was all a lot to process. The half-breed had been wondering about his father his whole life, never realizing that he was right there. He had so many memories–the girls he'd flirted with and teased when he was younger. They were his sisters. He had three sisters. His best friend–the guy he'd been bashing and teasing and making fun of their whole lives–was his brother. Finn strode up and sat down next to his son–the son he hadn't realized was his. "I'm sorry, Marshall," sighed Finn.

"Why are _you_ sorry, Finn," murmured the half-vampire. "You've always been square with me. You've always had my back." "My dad was a butt," said Finn, "I never got to know him. I always felt bad that you had to go through that too." Chuckling, Marshall reminded him, "but I _did_ have my dad, Finn. We just didn't know it." His dad had been there his whole life, jamming with him, taking him to concerts, and keeping him clear of trouble.

Moving on, Finn said, "I can take you home if you want..." "Not going back there," muttered Marshall. Finn frowned at him. "I don't wanna' see that bitch again," growled the half-breed. Finn put a hand to his shoulder and said, "you can crash at my place..." Marshall shrugged off that touch, saying, "that's the first place she'll look." Tone warning, Finn said, "Marshall..." Eyes blazing, Marshall pushed him away, shouting, "you can't turn us into a family after seventeen years, Finn!"

Both men climbed to their feet, with the half-vampire taking a very aggressive stance. Finn stood there in a relaxed posture, his eyes a little sad but open and welcoming all at the same time. Nodding, Finn replied, "I know, but I need to know you're ok, Marshall. I need to know you're not living under a bridge somewhere..." Those words cut through the teen's anger and straight to the heart of the matter. This was his _dad_. He was just trying to do what a dad was supposed to do. Staring off into the distance, Marshall replied, "she'll... She'd just hassle you and Simone, Finn. I-I'm not gonna' put you guys through that. I... I've got places to stay. I'm gonna hang out for a while..." Hugging his boy, Finn admonished him to call when he was settled, and with a promise to do that the younger man got on his way.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

Marshall Lee Abadeer's 'elevator eyes' scanned the beautiful young warriorette from the tip of the bun her brown hair was pinned into to the tips of her toes, clad in the cleated leather sandals that were all the rage in the Warrior Kingdom. She'd been giving him the eye all evening as she'd danced to the music he'd played. With perky little boobies jutting up in the chainmail bustier she was wearing and a fantastic ass just now covered by a leather-and-mail loin-cloth, she made a tasty sight, and he'd found himself with a hunger to ram the shit out of her.

He'd told the club's stage manager he was going to bring the girl up on stage to dance, and the manager had made sure she was right there, front and center when the second set began. Marshall had started out slow with a couple of smoky tunes that were just perfect for dancing. He'd watched the pretty young thing wiggle that fantastic ass and shake her hips for him out in the audience as he belted out the lyrics to one of his nastiest tunes. Then he'd turned up the heat by swooping down and dragging the girl onto the stage with him. Candy, as she was called, had been shocked, scared, and completely flustered. Still, when he started dancing and singing again, she quickly got over the fear. Just moments later, she was shakin' it just like any of the hired ho's who danced at his concerts.

Marshall had invited the sweet treat backstage to his dressing room. Alone. She'd balked at first, wanting to bring her fat friend, but Marshall wasn't having any of that. He didn't do fat-chicks. And anyways, he didn't want _two_ chicks in his crash space. It was easy to dodge one girl's family. Two was another matter entirely. Fortunately Candy had decided that she wanted the chance to be up-close and personal with the famous Marshall Lee more than she wanted to be friends with Ms. Piggy.

Giving her a sweet smile, showing off his small fangs, the half-vampire said, "so glad you could come back. Did you enjoy the show?" "Oh, it was the best," gushed Candy! She looked almost like she was in ecstasy. Shivering and shaking her head, her hands squeezing tight together, she might have been having an orgasm. Marshall grinned. He aimed to please. He turned to the mini-bar and the illicit liquor stocked there. Being sixteen, he wasn't legally allowed to have any. Of course, being Marshall Lee, he had his sources, so he always had a stocked mini-bar at his shows.

As Marshall got out a little Apple Surprise, the girl continued to gush on about the show, explaining, "we almost never get good bands in Warrior Kingdom..." He imagined that was due to its current state of princess-less-ness. Anarchy in the streets tended to chase away anyone who had other options. "Well, I can't let my adoring fans down," Marshall slyly replied as he slid a glass of the potent Apple Brandy across to his guest.

The girl looked down at the glass. Then she looked up at his smiling face. Marshall was cool as a cucumber. As the young miss glanced between her host and that dangerous glass, the dhampir sipped Scotch, making it all seem so _natural_. The scotch was harder than the Apple Brandy, but he was pretty sure Candy's daddy never let her drink anything stiffer than a little wine. She would probably like something sugary. After a long moment where she probably worried over having her parents find out about this, the young teen took the glass and began to drink.

Ten miles away–just the far side of town–an unfamiliar figure came strolling into the back room of Ulfberhts Tavern to find the nasty customer he'd come to meet waiting there. Almost immediately the portly candy-person lit into the figure behind the table, shouting, "your freak's becoming a problem!" In quite reasonable tones, the figure behind the table replied, "why don't you come in and sit down?" The portly policeman muttered something under his breath, but he did as he was told, locking the door for good measure. Striding forward, he said, "you need to shut that freak down! He's trying to set the whole Kingdom on fire!"

The little candy-person on the other side of the table asked, "would you like some hot chocolate? Mint tea?" The plump policeman scowled. Smiling slyly, his host asked, "maybe a little fermented licorice?" The cop glanced away. His eyes said it. He was thirsty. Under the angry cop's watchful eyes, the crime-boss poured out a measure of the potent candy-liquor. Sliding the glass across to the cop, the gangster said, "James is harmless. He's merely a distraction." The angry cop retorted, "two people lyin' in the hospital would disagree!" The gangster chuckled. So much posturing! Like most of the impotent fools of the world, it seemed like the weaker his position became, the more he postured.

"What'd you want," demanded the cop? He was prickly for obvious reasons. He didn't enjoy being reminded of his current situation. He'd made the mistake of climbing into the crimelord's pocket and now had no way out. The gangster refilled his glass. As the alcoholic cop took another sip, his owner replied, "I need one more in the palace." The cop's perpetual scowl deepened. He didn't like touching that. Finn the Human made that his personal project. He checked out every face that worked there almost as if the Princess was still his honey. Head shaking, the crime-boss chuckled, "but he _trusts_ you. If _you_ bring him a fresh face and a carefully scrubbed background check..." The cop flushed. Yes, this _was_ getting worse. But he didn't really have a choice. If he didn't go along, this piece of filth could destroy him. "Ok," muttered the cop. "Where and when?"

The two began to dicker over details then. The frightened cop wanted to minimize his involvement which was absurd on its face. He was up to his eyeballs in this–guilty of giving untold amounts of assistance to the Candy Kingdom's gangsters. It almost made the crime-boss howl laughter as he hemmed and hawed about when and how he'd do this. He was clearly terrified of Finn the Human. Nearly everyone in the Kingdom was. The crime-boss chuckled at his antics, cutting him off in midstream. "Which do you think will hurt more," asked the gangster? "Finn's bare hands after he catches you or Finn's sword after I tell him?"

It was a question that wasn't a question. Regardless of how the Captain of the guard found out, his rogue subordinate could expect a swift, _ugly_ end. The only question was the relative _certainty_ of each method. The cop grimaced at the not-so-implied threat inherent in the crimelord's casual statement. He could just suck up the risk his actions put him under or guarantee death by disobeying. The time to back out was past. He was committed. In the end, crooked cop and crime-boss were able to forge an agreement that let the cop save a little of his tarnished soul, and the policeman got on his way.

He left the gangster sitting at the table staring into space. Finn the Human was in the way. There were a lot of threats to the crimelord's master plan, but Finn was the most persistent and consistent. Distraction had been working. Finn was so busy countering James that he noticed little else. Still, after a year of dancing around the chief Banana Guard, it was time and past time to make a decisive move. Finn had to go. Fortunately, there were plenty of levers to use against such a _proud and upstanding_ member of Candy-Kingdom society.

Meanwhile, Marshall Lee Abadeer was moving on to the main event. Candy had been sweetened up by a few stiff belts of licorice liquor, and she was feeling no pain. She'd begun to dance again, grooving to a beat in her mind in her happiness at being here with her idol. Marshall had her right where he wanted her.

Putting his glass down, he slipped his arms around her from behind. With a squeak of fright, she spun to face him. And that was when he locked his lips to hers. At first she struggled, but then, as his hands stroked her soft flanks, she began to relax. This was Marshall Lee! Which of her girlfriends _hadn't_ fantasized about fucking the teen idol?! He was kissing her! Marshall Lee was actually kissing _her_! When he broke that kiss, he gave her one of his devastating smiles, showing just the hints of his fangs. The pretty teen practically swooned.

This was it! This was the real Marshall Lee! Not her lame boyfriend! Not her idiot cousin! This was _Marshall Lee_! The Vampire Prince! He was right here in front of her, and apparently he liked _her_! Trying to seem sophisticated, she smiled back, then polished off the liquor in her glass at one go. Reaching out, she slipped her arms around his neck and leaned in against him. Marshall smiled inwardly. Things were going according to plan.

Kissing her again, he wrapped his strong arms around her, pulling her in tight against him. She could feel all of his hard young body against hers. At the same time, his magic fingers stroked her spine, raising gooseflesh and sending shivers cascading down her back. As they kissed, Marshall slowly backed her up. It was an imperceptible motion. He just took one shuffling stutter-step at a time until he'd back her up to the couch his dressing room was equipped with. By the time she realized it, he was pushing her down onto the couch. "Oof," gasped the pretty teen as she sat down in a rush.

Marshall slipped onto the couch by her side, slipping an arm around her. Smiling back, she leaned in to meet him as they kissed once more. She was in heaven. This was awesome! For a while the handsome half-vampire kept things that way, kissing and stroking her hot little body. He was warming her up and reeling her in. He could tell from the way she moved and the sounds coming out of her that she was getting a little hot. That was when he slipped his hands up over her plump boobies and began to toy with them. Candy gasped into his mouth, and he could feel her hands coming up to stop him. He'd read her right, though. She dropped her hands back to his side and let him play with her knobs.

He kept that up a long while too, getting her worked up to the point where she was almost ready to beg him to go further. Breaking their lip-lock, he stared deep into her eyes and said, "I want to make you feel good... Can I?" Protests rose in her mind. She knew what he wanted to do. Boys always said that when they wanted to fuck you. And she just couldn't do _that_! Her parents would kill her! At the same time, this was _Marshall Lee_! This was the goth-rocker himself! When would she ever get a chance like this again?! She wanted to play it cool. She wanted to try and get him to propose–at least to formally date her!–but she was afraid he'd walk away. "O-ok," burbled the teen hottie.

Kneeling before her, the handsome half-vampire began to rub her hot pussy through the tight thong panties she was wearing under her loin cloth. At the same time, he slid her top up, uncovering her perky boobies in a soft, linen bra. Judging by how dowdy her bra was, he guessed she'd _borrowed_ the panties from momma. Candy gasped as she felt his finger teasing her tender flesh. Marshal teased and tormented her hot young pussy while he stroked her perky baby-food factories, sending jolts of excitement shooting up her spine. She was already a little moist just from what they had already done, and it didn't take long before her hips were grinding into his hand, while she moaned and sighed softly. Her eyes were tightly shut, and he realized he could have done just about anything to her before she even realized it. Seeing how wet her panties were, he decided it was time to move on.

The horny anti-hero reached up, grasped the waist of her panties and started sliding them down. Her eyes popped open, and he saw a look of fear there for a moment. This was it. She should stop him. At the same time, he knew she'd go on. He was the Prince, right? Sure enough, Candy raised her hot little bottom to let him strip her. Marshall helped her slide the heavy chain-mail top she was wearing off, and he put it aside before laying her down on the soft couch. Candy licked her lips as he unfastened his skinny jeans, baring the nasty, virgin-violating piece of meat he kept there. When he moved to ease her thighs apart, she closed her eyes. It was going to happen. She was going to do it with Marshall Lee.

Occupying the sexpot's lips with his, Marshall jerked her towards him, causing his thick tool to slide inside. Candy squeaked in fright, but then it was over. "Oooaaaa," moaned the pretty teen as her idol's big pecker began to slide back and forth inside her spot. He started out slow, not wanting to scare her and end the fun early, and Candy rewarded him by relaxing into his embrace. His hands fastened themselves around her big knobs. That was the fun thing about being a vampire. He didn't have to hold himself up. Floating in mid air above her, he got both hands in on the action, teasing her button while he railed her at the same time as his other hand squeezed and teased her love-mounds, while his tongue got busy with hers.

The groupie threw those long legs around him, dragging him into her, causing his thick meat to go even deeper until their hips finally met, and then he began to bang her hard as he could. Her lips breaking free of his, Candy began to wail and squeal. That was a little worrisome. Usually he had his bodyguards and security detail and concert staff to keep people at bay. He didn't want anyone breaking in to hassle him about this. "Oh, Marshall," howled the sexy teen. "Oh, it's so gooooood..."

Picking her up, he began to bounce her on his hard dick, and that really drove her crazy. They were floating in mid-air! They were literally floating on air. Fucking. It was like nothing she and her friends had ever talked about. Hot girl goo was coming out of her in a steady stream, and it was a certainty he'd have to take a shower because he'd be pretty nasty after this. Sucking on her neck–nibbling at her skin with his sharp fangs–Marshall screwed her silly.

The feel of his fangs against her neck excited a mad sort of desire in young Candy. If he bit her... If he bit her, she could live forever! She could be with him forever! "Oh, Marshall," she howled! "Do it! Do it to meeee!" Marshall could feel her orgasm–along with her fingers clawing at his back. With a shout of mad pleasure, he let go, shooting his goo into her. She'd asked for it, after all.

As Candy came down, Marshall floated lazily around the room, stroking her soft skin. That wasn't bad at all. He wouldn't have minded doing that again. Laying against him, Candy said, "Marshall-Lee... I... I know this is crazy, but would you mind dropping in and meeting my folks..." He'd been thinking of where he was going to sleep tonight. He still had to get the check cashed for this gig, and he essentially had no cash in his pocket. He'd worn out his welcome at his bud's place too. Now, he thought, _bingo!_ "Sure, babe," said he. "Love to."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15:

Candy gave her boyfriend of three weeks a kiss, grinding her hot young body against the half-breed's. She was heels-over-head in love with him and excited about their relationship. Of all the girls in all the Kingdoms of Ooo, _she_ had been the one to capture Marshall Lee! The Goth rocker was _her_ boyfriend, and she was already day-dreaming of marriage. He'd been here every day–when he wasn't in the clubs playing concerts. Unfortunately the bodacious beauty had responsibilities of her own to manage. She baby-sat for several of the local families in the development, taking care of their younglings while the parents went to work, ran errands, or occasionally went out on dates. Today, one of her clients had called with an emergency. They had to go out and look in on a sick elder, and now they needed Candy to look after their little one. They'd be gone all day and most of the night besides.

Candy lay her head against her boyfriend's shoulder. She had to be careful not to be seen getting too cozy with him. When they fucked, they had to wait until her parents were out of the house or asleep. Her old-fashioned father was insistent that she have a formal betrothal, a nice, year-long courtship, and then the ceremony. While her mother tended to be more understanding–more _modern_ –she was hopeless at keeping secrets. So Candy was careful about what she said or did. "I have to go, baby," she breathed. Marshall gave her a winning smile. "I'll be fine," said he. "You go do whatcha' gotta' do..." "I'll make it up," she promised, grinding her hot pussy against his big, fat dick. He knew she would. Giving her ass a squeeze that almost made her squeal, he sent her on her way.

The teen sexpot slipped out the door and headed down across the complex to the tower on the far end. Marshall waited a bit, strumming his guitar idly. As he floated there, strumming his axe, a figure appeared in the kitchen doorway. She was wearing leather stockings on her long, surprisingly trim legs. Above that, she wore a diaphanous gown of ephemeral chainmail links that hung proud of her body on her big, juicy tits and came down just to the top of her broad hips, revealing the sexy scrimshawed leather panties she wore. The horny missus licked her plump lips as she regarded the handsome half-vampire rocker in her living room. Marshall grinned his evil grin as he set aside his bass.

The green-skinned giantess was across the room in just a few strides. Marshall snatched her up on the fly. He was far stronger than he looked–a fact that continually amazed the horny housewife. Davina knew that her daughter had her sights set on the handsome young fellow, but Davina had developed a hankering for him herself. She'd accidentally seen him as he was just coming out of the shower, spying the big, fat dick he had in his pants and getting an eyeful of that toned, hard young body. It had only been a moment before she was perched on the vanity with that big thing sliding in and out of her horny pussy. They'd been lovers since then, fucking every chance they got.

Mostly they got to get it on when her husband and daughter were both out of the house. With summer in full swing, that was harder. Fortunately, her daughter still liked to visit with friends, and she still had her various summer jobs. The housewife had gotten to ride her favorite toy quite a bit these last few weeks. Just now, the pretty boy carried her up to the third floor of her home where he'd been given a room. She'd complained of the mess he left there but that was more a cover for the fact that they so often left pecker-tracks on his bedding.

The handsome teen carried her into the room, kicked the door shut, and tossed her on the bed. Almost immediately he grabbed those strong, sexy thighs and pulled them open. Leaning in, he sniffed her hot body, inhaling her scent as he went from her dainty right knee up to the top of her stocking. At the same time, his hands stroked the creamy, pale-green skin of her inner thighs, causing her to sigh in delight. "Mmm," breathed the sexy housewife. The horny youth ran his long, snake-like tongue along her smooth skin, causing her to shiver. "Mmm," sighed the housewife.

Straightening, Marshall ran his hands along her belly. Like most of the people of Warrior Kingdom, she had a hard, chiseled belly. In spite of being in her late thirties, she was hot and quite fuckable. The dhampir's hands gently stroked her creamy flesh, even tickling her belly button as soft sighs left her lips. As she licked her lips, his hands glided up and up, causing the soft, jingly rings of her mailshirt to slide up. When his hands encountered the base of her big, juicy boobies, her back arched, and she let out a low groan.

Marshall paused there a few moments, teasing her. Then, when she was starting to get frustrated, he slipped his hands up over those big, ripe love-mounds and began to toy with them. "Oooaah," moaned the beautiful older woman. Her head began to rock from side to side, and she nibbled on her bottom lip as the horny teen worked those big mounds over. Sliding his face up under the mailshirt, he sucked one of her pointy nips into his mouth and began nibbling and nipping at it, his sharp fangs stinging her soft flesh. "Uhn... oohh... yeeah," she whined!

Marshall slipped a hand down under the soft leather panties she wore and began to toy with her hot pussy. He didn't get much time to really get her worked up. After all, there was always the risk that hubby or darling daughter would come back early. On the flip side, well, he was mostly concerned with shooting his wad anyway, and she never complained when he gave it to her. As his finger dipped into her crack, her hips began to rock back and forth. Her strong right hand clutched at his, as Marshall went back and forth, sucking on one booby after the other. Marshall shoved her hand away, pinching her button for good measure. "Aagggh," howled the housewife as her body shook and shuddered, making those knobs dance for him.

"Quit playing, Marshy," she demanded! Sitting up, she grabbed for him. Marshall dodged back. Jumping off the bed, she charged him. The half-vampire was much too fast, though. He dodged aside. As she went past, he grabbed her arm by the wrist and shoved her up against the wall. Pulling her arm up behind her back, he pinned her there. His lips teased at her ear and said, "make me..." The slutty housewife shivered. Then, the prideful wench declared, "you little _shit_!" She tried to break his hold, but his grip was like iron.

Slipping his left hand around in front of her, he slid his fingers down into her panties and between those powerful thighs. "Ooohnn," whimpered the sexpot, her hips grinding against his hand. Marshall began to slid his hand back and forth in her coochie, teasing her button and sliding his fingertip along her gash. At the same time, he nibbled at her ear and began to grind his crotch against her hard, round ass. "Still got that killer ass," said he. That made her shiver in climax. Sliding his hand out of her panties, he licked his fingers clean, pronouncing, "finger-lickin' good!"

Embarrassed and a little shamed, she huffed at him, but Marshall was scarcely bothered. His pecker was hard as a steel beam! Unfastening his pants, he let them drop. Then, pulling her legs apart once more, he popped the buttons holding the crotch of her leather panties closed. The horny housewife shrieked when she felt the huge tip against her opening. Her body began to shake and thrash once more, leading him to remind her, "I didn't say you could cum yet."

The cruel boy began to rail his host's pretty mommy, sliding that huge thing in and out of her snatch. Reaching up with his left hand, he got hold of one of those huge knobs and began to squeeze and knead and torment her tender booby. "Oh... uhnnn... Oh, shit," wailed the sexy housewife. Marshall quickly had the rhythm, and he began to pound his hard dick into his would-be girlfriend's mom, his hips slapping into her big, round ass as she moaned and wailed in heat. Hot girl goo drooled out of her in a flood, lubing his pecker as he screwed her good. The half-breed toyed with those big knockers, squeezing and kneading her soft flesh, driving her crazy.

The housewife shoved that magnificent ass back to meet his every thrust, matching his rhythm stroke for stroke until they were one big nasty. Marshall bit and nipped at her throat and neck and shoulders with his fangs, leaving tiny marks that her oblivious husband would hardly notice. "Ooh... Don't," wailed the housewife! He bit her harder and fucked her harder. Driving in deep, he leaned into it, forcing her to stand on her toes. Shaking and shuddering, the housewife went over the edge one last time. With a groan, Marshy shot his goo up her steamy oven.

As the two calmed down, Marshall Lee found himself thinking that this was a whole lot of fun. She was a good lay. Her daughter was too. They both excited different parts of his twisted mind. He'd been thinking lately of letting them know about each other. He was tired of the sneaking around. It put a cramp in his sex-life. It would have been a lot easier to just screw whichever one was handy. Unfortunately, it had been made clear that his darling Candy was off-limits. At least until he put a ring on it. _Gotta work it,_ he decided.

Elsewhere, Peppermint Butler stood in the Princess's Garden, laying out tasty delicacies before a visiting royal as Princess Bonnibel sat down before her guest. "Thank-you, Peps," said the Candy Monarch, "you may withdraw." Pouring tea, the little manservant placed a cup before Breakfast Princess and his mistress before withdrawing. Breakfast dropped lumps of crystalized maple syrup into the tea before her, stirring the thick, rich sugar in. Taking one of the cookies, she said, "I came as soon as I could. So you're finally ready to deal, eh?" She had been pursuing a marriage alliance with Bonnibel for years, but Princess Goody-Two-Shoes had hardly been _receptive_. Truth be told, Breakfast was sure the bitch was too stuck-up to consider it.

Bonnibel Bubblegum did her best not to frown. Truth be told, she considered Breakfast Princess to be a little bit crass and crude. She and her sisters were not exactly high up on the candy-monarch's list of people she would have trusted with world-shaking secrets. At the same time, she was in a bind. She'd been hoping to be a couple of centuries down the road before having to figure out who her kids were going to get hitched to. Finding that nature had taken its course while she was preoccupied with work had thrown a monkey-wrench into that plan. The fact that both siblings were scopin' out their half-brother and half-sister just made it a trifle more urgent.

Softly, Bonnie said, "my son is getting to the age where he's starting to take on more responsibility. He's getting exposed to things outside the kingdom and seeing new ideas..." "His hormones have kicked in, and you want him married before he knocks up some cute little thing," interrupted Breakfast. Bonnie blushed to her hair, telling the breakfast person that she'd gotten very close to the mark. "Alright, Bonnie," replied the snarky princess, "I think we can do this." Bonnie sat up straight. It was time for the dickering to begin.

The process didn't go quick. Breakfast Princess was far smarter and cagier than she let on. Having heard from Finn about the night the crazy witch had just showed up at his door wearing nothing but a few strips of bacon, she knew BP was a bit of a whore and much more interested in sex than a princess ought to be. It made Bonnie a little nervous thinking about her son being married to BP's daughter, French Toast. At the same time, French Toast was nearly sixteen. She was just the right age for Boniface, and she was pretty–pretty enough to distract the young man from his half-sister.

Trouble was that Breakfast Princess kept on edging up on secrets that Bonnie had been keeping for nearly seventeen years. She kept asking what the candy-monarch had done about the alien problem. She kept hinting that she knew more than she was letting on. Bonnie found herself going rather queasy as the younger princess suggested that maybe she ought to be let in on the secret in exchange for giving Boniface permission to wed her child.

"I don't know what you're...," Bonnie growled. "Don't lie to me, Bonnie," interrupted Breakfast. "It's unbecoming of a princess. We both know how much you like scheming. We both know that you weren't really thrilled with the outcome of the vote. And everybody knows about those two death-machines you keep." It wasn't a far stretch to think that Bonnibel Bubblegum had more than that up her sleeves, especially after enduring kidnap and assault at the hands of the previous invaders. It was certainly what Breakfast would have done. She would have done it if she'd had any ability to do it.

More to the point, Toast had been _intimate_ with a wealthy Candy-Kingdom merchant who'd been involved in selling scrap by the thousands of tons out of the badlands to the Candy Kingdom. He'd hinted, in pillow talk, that he was involved in some big secret between the Candy Kingdom and another kingdom. Wearing a sly smile, BP reminded her host,"and everybody knows who your closest ally is, so save the lies..." Bonnie glared at her. At the same time, she felt a bit of a thrill of fear. The other princesses might become very upset if they learned about the secret army she and Phoebe had been building. They had been trying to sneak the matter up for a vote for several years now, but Wildberry had scuttled the vote every time.

 _I need more time,_ thought Bonnie. She needed more time–and maybe a crisis–to get over the hump with her fellows. If Breakfast revealed what she knew, then that would put Bonnie and Phoebe in conflict with the other princesses almost immediately. They would certainly be sanctioned. They might even be forced to dismantle the army. Bonnie was _not_ going to do _that_. After what she'd gone through at the hands of the aliens, she was not giving away their defenses. "Alright," said Bonnibel. "Deal."

As Bonnie worked on the details of her deal with Breakfast Princess, Emeraude sat staring at a report in a streetside café. She was having trouble. She was having real trouble going home. There was so much angst and confusion there right now, it seemed that she didn't really _have_ a home anymore. The children she'd helped to raise–that she'd doted on and lavished all the love she could find in her heart on–were in trouble. She knew they were in trouble. Star had come very close to going down the same dark road that her mother had spent nearly thirty years on. Billy was marrying Jake Junior, and Fionna had just had her whole world turned upside down. Their family was in a crisis, and she didn't know what to do to get them out of it.

Did she accept what Billy was doing? She knew he was technically correct. What he was doing wasn't really incest. He wasn't genetically related to Junior, so they weren't going to have some genetically defective kid. Just some weird, hybrid rainicorn/dog/human mix-blood. Of course that wasn't really the problem, and she knew it. Her daughter was a hybrid. That was a fact of a nymph's life. They couldn't reproduce without males from other species. No, what was frying the wizard right now was the certain fact that Junior was no damned good.

Billy was... like his dad. He'd always been like his dad. He was noble. He was kind to a fault. He was so unselfish and self-sacrificing that she'd had to rein him in when he was younger–teaching him some of the lessons that his dad had missed growing up. She loved that about him, just as she loved those qualities in his dad.

And Junior would take full advantage of those same qualities.

The wizard was certain there was some scam here. She was sure that Junior was using her almost-son as part of some twisted scheme, and she didn't fucking like it. Every time she thought of what the little bitch had tried to do to Fionna, she wanted to go down and carve her guts out–risking Billy's love and affection and quite likely Finn and Simone's too.

As her thoughts went in slow circles, her fingers idly turned the pages of the report before her. The Banana Guard had been busy. They'd arrested seventeen wood-nymphs in the last twenty-four hours alone. Four had been underage, and one was basically a kid who was all but being pimped out by her mother. Finn had been a little irritated that she'd commandeered some of his men, but he had quickly backed down when his wife pushed back. The lockup at headquarters was full just now. She wanted those fucking whores to learn a valuable lesson. The cunt who had tried to pimp her daughter was going to prison for a long, _long_ time. The six who'd been caught dosing would-be husbands to get them to the altar were getting the gulag treatment. She was going to have them dropped on the far side of the wastelands. Let them fucking try and come back from there. Eventually, she'd let the rest go. With a stern warning.

Lost in her thoughts about the kids, the wizard hardly saw any of what was on that page. She wanted her happy family back, and she didn't know what to do about it. Billy had Star going down to the hardware store now. She was working a _real_ job now–and staying out of trouble. That was one positive sign. It gave her a hope that maybe things could turn around. Glancing down at the page in front of her, the wizard suddenly had an epiphany. She could _show_ her daughter the consequences of what she'd been doing.

Rising, she packed her papers away in a bag. Throwing coin on the table to pay for her meal, she got up and headed out. Behind her, one of the other patrons also rose. As the wizard went out to her truck, the candy-person came strolling out behind her. Hips wiggle-waggling sensuously, the former Huntress Wizard made a delicious sight as she strode up to her car, just like all the women she'd had thrown in jail over the last week or so. The population of ho's had declined precipitously in the Candy Kingdom's back alleys and mean-streets, and the bosses were a little irritated just now. They had agreed to pay the street-tax to their new Boss of Bosses, and the sudden loss of income was hitting them all where it hurt.

Almost as she approached her truck, the wood-nymph warrior did that thing she always did. Head swivelling this way and that, she checked her surroundings, and that was how she spotted the guy who'd been at the restaurant. Instead of fishing out her key, she readied a spell, as she watched the candy-person go striding by. Her green eyes burned into his, and she had a sense that he was up to no good. The wizard stood there a long, long while, watching him go on down the street. Only when he had turned the corner and gone out of sight did she draw her key and climb behind the wheel. _Creepy,_ she thought, as she started the truck up and set off.

Her daughters were both home when she arrived back at the house. Star was in her room, and Fionna was in the living room, playing Beemo. She was deep into her game, and, after what had just happened to her, Emeraude hesitated to disturb her. Still, this was an important lesson that she had to share with her girls. "Girls," called the wizard! "Girls, come here, please." Both young women got up from what they had been doing and strolled over to their mom/stepmom. "C'mon," said she. "We... we need to talk about some stuff."

Wearing identical worried looks, both teens followed the wizard-woman into their dad's office. She made them sit down on the couch there, while she bustled around, getting a couple of things out of the safe Finn kept behind his bookshelf. Walking over to her girls, the former Huntress Wizard grabbed a chair. Sitting down in front of them, she handed Star a small packet, saying, "open it." The young woman looked down at the parcel in her lap, then up at her mom. "You need to know these things," said Huntress. "Open it." Her voice was hard, and Star immediately slit the package open with her fingernail. Drawing it out, she handed some of the sheets to Fionna, who stared first at Star, then at Star's mom. "Read, Fionna," growled the wizard. "I know you know how. I taught you, remember?"

Blushing, the blonde bombshell started reading. Both girls did, slowly flipping their way through the pages. At various points, one or the other of them would blush. Sometimes Star would stare at her mother, and, at least once, Huntress found Fionna trembling–in fear or something else she knew not. Finally, Fionna handed the pages of her step-mother's rap-sheet back to her sister and sat staring at her lap. Calmly, the wizard said, "everything I ever did is right there–every mistake, every broken promise, and every broken law."

Fionna looked up and said, "y-you were..." She wasn't sure she could say that. Her step-mother–the woman who'd changed her diapers and read to her and taken her in to school every other day–had been a brutal gangster and hit-woman. She knew Emeraude was a bad-girl. Her parents had never hidden that, but to learn that the woman she'd lived her whole life with had whacked all those people! And how had they been able to _hide_ it?! There should be people all over Ooo looking to arrest her! Seeming to guess what she was thinking, the wood-nymph wizard explained, "I got lucky. After we saved the world, with Bonnie's help, your dad went to the various Kingdoms and had my records expunged."

Her eyes were on her daughter. Star alternately flushed and paled as she realized just how close she'd gotten. "It doesn't take much, and it doesn't take long," sighed the wizard. "They were all bad men. I swore I'd never take an innocent life, and mostly I kept that pledge. The fact that I was a wizard let me hide out in Wizard City, but I came close to burning my bridges there a couple of times too." Pointedly, she said, "but it doesn't matter to the law that they're bad men. We don't get to be judge and jury, Star." Reaching into her bag, she drew out her bracer–the Instrument that she'd used to kill so many. She put it on Star's lap, saying, "still want to be Huntress Wizard, Star?" The younger wizard shoved that thing away from her as though it were poison. Throwing herself on her mother, she burst into tears. Emeraude hugged her child. Beckoning Fionna, she drew her step-daughter into that hug, whispering, "I love you both. Don't make my mistakes. Glob, please don't follow me." The two girls swore they wouldn't.

When the pair were seated on the couch again, Emeraude brought out Star's bracelet, saying, "here, baby. A second chance. Make me proud of you." As she slipped the Instrument on, Star solemnly promised she would. Emeraude collected the documents and returned them to her husband's safe, locking her past away in the darkness inside. Following her kids out into the living room, she said, "who's butt am I going to kick on Beemo today?" Fionna sniffed, "you haven't been able to beat me in years!" "A volunteer," chuckled the wizard! "Alright, kid, you're on!"

 **So I thought the concept of Ghost/Warrior Princess's kingdom going on without her was an interesting idea and decided to flesh it out a little bit. What happens when a kingdom's Princess dies? Do they get another one? Does somebody else take over? And what kind of culture would Warrior Kingdom have? I kind of imagined it as Valhalla with strip-malls and condo-developments.**

 **And yes, Marshall IS a dirty, dirty dog.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16:

"C'mon, honey," called Billy. "Better hurry up, or we'll be late." Sitting on the floor of the bathroom next to the toilet, Junior sighed heavily. They were already late. He just didn't know it. Things had gone from wonderful to heavenly in the space of just weeks. At the same time, they were going from worse to worst. She was in way over her head with the Candy Kingdom's new Boss of Bosses–far beyond bumping off a few gangsters. The boss was playing the game at a level that made the shapechanger deeply, profoundly uncomfortable. On top of that, Billy was now a full time occupant of her little apartment. They were... _together_. It was just like he'd promised.

And the whole situation threatened to blow up in her face.

It was hard slipping out to handle business at all hours of the night when she had a husband in the bed next to her. She had to be careful of leaving her phone out in the open where her suspicious cop fiancé could see it. And then there was her latest problem. Her hand stroked her bare stomach absently. She wasn't sure she should tell him. Honestly, she understood now how her mother must have felt. This was too soon. Things weren't supposed to go this way. They were supposed to be on their own in a far-away place. She was supposed to have a big pile of money for them to start a life there, and she'd spent _hours_ , even _days_ working on the pitch. None of that would matter if her idiot boss managed to blow up the Kingdom while they were still here. She wanted to cry. She would have, if she'd been born with eyes.

Rising, she flushed the toilet, washing away the evidence of their little problem. Washing her face, the dog-icorn moved on to getting into the dress she'd bought for the Princess's Ball. There was a time she would have been delighted to be going to such a big event. She had a man, and she was going to a place where she could see and be seen with her handsome boyfriend on her arm. Except she was due to meet with her employer tonight, and she knew that the fool wanted to push things even farther. After all, with the Captain of the Guard, his lieutenant, and his favorite officer all going to the party, this was the perfect night for mayhem.

Catching sight of his lady, Billy Mertens whistled in delight. "Wow, baby," he said, "you look smokin'!" The shapechanger blushed, and all thought of her problems fled her mind. Rushing across to her mate, Junior threw herself on Billy. Puzzled, he asked, "what's gotten into you, honey?" "You do this to me," she sobbed. "Every time you say stuff like that..." Billy was at a loss for what to say. Usually you didn't get tears when you told a girl she was pretty. "But honey," he pleaded, "it's true. You're a babe in every sense of the word. C'mon, I wanna' show you off." "O-ok," she sighed. Taking her hand, Billy led his lady out to the car. Junior settled into the passenger seat, lay her head against charming Billy's shoulder, and drifted away on a hazy fog of day-dreams.

Meanwhile, at their destination, Boniface Bubblegum was experiencing an awkward moment of his own. He'd come home from a day teaching summer-school math to fifth-graders with a distinct lack of interest in his mother's big event. Honestly, he'd done his best to forget about it. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to face the embarrassment. While it was true nobody knew about Fionna being his sister–Princess Bonnibel was insistent on hiding that little factoid–that still left the ugly fallout. If anything, it was a touch _more_ embarrassing to have everyone know your mother could dictate who you could date. Bon was humiliated, and he didn't much want to deal with this.

So naturally he found a brand new suit laying on his bed with instructions to take a shower, get dressed, and come down to the patio.

The young heir found himself counting to ten. Times like these, he wanted to be very angry with his mom. He could understand why his father was so often angry with his mother. It was always _her_ way. She'd decided to have a baby. By Finn the human. Without telling him. She'd decided that she alone could be trusted with the truth. Then, when her obsessive secrecy came back to bite everyone, she'd just come in and declared any relationships that had developed null and void. As if none of the interested parties had feelings.

Muttering curses, the handsome young prince headed for the shower, undressing as he went. He would go along of course. In the Candy Kingdom, standing against Princess Bonnibel accomplished little, so he would go along to get along. Standing in the shower, he found himself wanting to get away. He wanted to leave the Kingdom–much as Marshall Lee had. Unfortunately he just wasn't built that way. Maybe it was a genetic predisposition inherited from two people who expressed the 'responsibility' gene at eleven. Bon knew he was needed _here_. He couldn't go.

Done showering, he climbed into his new suit–perfectly tailored for his long, lanky frame. Still angry and still feeling the misery of regret and shame, the young candy-person went down to the garden, just as he'd been commanded. His mind went in slow circles, wondering what his mother was going to ask him to do. It was a certainty that he'd have to go to the ball. Why else would she have him get dressed up? It was a certainty he'd get told to put on a good face. His mother was all about _appearances_. He knew for a fact that the Candy Kingdom was one of the most chaotic places in all of Ooo, even though his mother went to the mat to pretend otherwise. She expected that of her people and her children both, and Bon was sick of it.

Part of him would have mounted his own coup to force things to change. He knew the sentiment was wrong, and now he knew where some of that sentiment came from. His father was built like that. His father was rash and impulsive. Finn had little regard for the onerous rules that governed Princess Bonnibel's life. At the same time, just as Finn had learned to live under those rules–even to enforce them–Bon had learned to squelch his _urges_. He would be Prince someday, and he would deal with all of this chaos then. In the mean-time, he would follow his mother's instructions and handle things _her_ way.

Standing at the garden door, the young man checked himself over in one of the ever-present mirrors, knowing full well that surveillance cameras were recording him from beyond the glass. Satisfied that he looked impeccable, the young man turned and opened the door, stepping out onto the petrified-candy pavers to find a worrisome sight.

His mother was there. Just as expected, she was there and dressed in her most tasteful attire–a beautiful gown in off-white that matched her son's suit. The bodice was high-necked, tastefully concealing her bosom behind satin and lace, and the sleeves came down to her elbows. None of that came as any great surprise. Likely Shoko would be wearing a similar dress, though she was only recently sprung from the dungeon for her illicit dating. No, the thing that surprised him was the other two people there on the patio with his mom. One, he recognized as Breakfast Princess, their neighbor from the east.

Beside her stood a young woman who was of an age with him. Slender, she was still shapely, with nice hips, a nice rack, and a stunning face. "Hello, Boniface," his mother greeted him. "I should like to introduce you to Breakfast Princess and her daughter, French Toast." Bon's face went hot. He knew immediately what this was about. This was to further drive the wedge between he and Fionna. His _sister_ , Fionna. This loon thought he would lose control of himself and rail his own sister anyway. It made him angry on many levels. She didn't trust him. She didn't trust him to be strong. She thought he was an emotionally compromised idiot. More to the point, she didn't seem to trust Fi or her family either. Just as always, she was doing this _her_ way. She had to be in control–to do things _her_ way. Damn anybody who disagreed.

Stepping forward, the young princeling bent and kissed the two lovely visitors' hands, welcoming them to his home. He complimented the Princess on her lovely hair and dress, and he smoothly complimented the young lady on her beauty. It was useless to fight this. He would at least have to go through the motions, even if he ended up giving French Toast the broom later. He could see his mother smiling out the corner of his eye, and he halfway wanted to bash the shit out of her. Just now he felt a lot like Marshall did about his mother. Marshall Lee Abadeer had often confided to him in the early days that his mother, Marceline, was a jaded, nasty hag who treated him badly and yelled at him at the drop of a hat, often for things that weren't really his fault.

Marceline Abadeer manipulated her son at every turn, doing her best to drive a wedge between the half-breed and anybody else he might come in contact with. He wasn't allowed to have friends–certainly not girlfriends–and he was expected to exist at his mother's every whim. He'd thought Bon's life was wonderful, little realizing just how much their lives were mirrors of each other. Marshall hadn't been the only one thinking of running away.

Just as predicted, Princess Bonnibel insisted on sitting everyone down at the patio table like they were one big happy family already. Bon got placed in close proximity to French Toast, and he found himself both cross and a little turned on all at the same time. He'd been shocked and really creeped out by the news that Fi was his older sister. He'd imagined railing the shit out of her on many a cold, lonely night in his room, and the shocking news was almost devastating to the sexuality of a young man who had always struggled with his feelings. These last few weeks, he'd felt as though he would never be attracted to another girl again.

Now, sitting next to the warm presence of the Breakfast person at his side, Bon found himself getting a little turned on. She was pretty, with a lovely heart-shaped face, deep-brown eyes, nut-brown hair, and dark skin. And she smelled like flowers on a spring day. In spite of everything, Bon found himself mentally undressing her–even comparing her to his sister.

Across the table, Bonnibel found herself slowly relaxing. She had been afraid that this just wouldn't take. In spite of her efforts, if Bon didn't respond, she had no real way to _make_ him. Now, as she watched her son stealing furtive glances at young French Toast, she finally felt like she was making progress. Now she tried to get them engaged in conversation with each other, telling her son all about some of French Toast's hobbies and activities. Polite to the last, Bon immediately engaged his seatmate in conversation–just as Bonnie knew he would.

They chatted, off and on, for the better part of an hour, as the palace slowly filled with people come for her annual Summer Ball. Peppermint Butler came then, announcing that most of the guests had arrived, and Bonnie knew it was time they were going inside too. Rising, she insisted that they all share a toast. Brushing her butler aside, she went to the side-bar and prepared the drinks herself. She'd chosen a licorice liquor that was just a touch sweet–something she knew a younger person wouldn't quibble about drinking. It wasn't appropriate for the gathering, but Bonnie was more concerned with making sure her son and future daughter-in-law drank it all.

Coming back to the table, she served the others herself, handing glasses to Breakfast, her daughter, and Bon in their turn. Raising her own glass, Bonnie said, "I hope that our two families grow together in peace and companionship..." Which just about confirmed Bon's suspicions. Rolling his eyes–he couldn't help it–Bon accepted the toast, touching glasses with his mother and her guests before downing the drink he'd been given. French Toast took hers and, with a glance at her mother to confirm this was ok–in spite of her slutty ways, Breakfast was very strict with her child–she drank the glass dry.

Handing off the glasses to Peps, Bonnie said, "let's go inside... Bon? Why don't you escort French Toast?" Bon did as he was told, offering his arm to their guest. With their mothers bringing up the rear, Bon escorted the beautiful young lady inside. Tickled to have such a handsome guy on her arm, French Toast was bubbly to the point of being almost giddy. Strangely enough, Bon found he didn't mind. As they came down the corridor to the grand ballroom, the two began to talk. _So far so good,_ thought Bonnie. Her plan was working.

Arriving in the ballroom, the candy monarch stepped aside with her colleague, suggesting Bon get to know French Toast while the adults discussed business. As he led his date away, Bon couldn't help wondering who was buying and who was selling–and how much a prince or princess was worth. At the same time, he was strangely pleased to take French Toast onto the dance floor. Bon found the breakfast beauty graceful and light on her feet. At the same time, her smile was electrifying.

"So," said she, her brown eyes sparkling, "what do you like to be called?" Boniface was much too formal and stuffy-sounding. Bon thought about that a moment. "People call me Bubba," said he. She could almost _feel_ the pain there. Smiling that dazzling smile, she retorted, "I asked what you liked to be called, not what others want..." Bon blushed to his hair. Taking his chin in her hand, French Toast said, "your name. The name you call yourself..." Blushing and strangely happy all at once, the young man replied, "Bon. You shall call me Bon..."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17:

French Toast.

Fionna would happily have cooked French Toast in the oven and served her for dinner! This was supposed to be _her_ party. She and Bubba were suppose to let the world know they were an item.

She'd bought a _dress_ for Globsake!

Fionna had taken money from her allowance and gone to Lollipop Lady's dress-shop and popped for a big, poofy, formal gown. When she absolutely _hated_ big, poofy formal gowns. She'd been imagining how they were going to do this for weeks–really since the day Bubba formally asked her dad if they could date. Now they were done already through a twist of fate. Bubba was her little brother. She almost wanted to kill his mom more than French Toast.

The sight of her boyfriend of three weeks dancing with the bronze-skinned beauty brought her close to tears. The bitch was already getting cozy. She had her arms wrapped around his shoulders, dancing close with him. Fionna fought back tears as she watched them dance. "You ok," asked her stepmom?

Fionna looked up to find Emeraude standing there in a sexy, hip-hugging number in russet red. She was the definition of sexy. Petite and _slinky_ even after having a kid, the wood-nymph caused drooling mouths and popped eyes wherever she went. Both Fionna's mothers were sexy. Simone Mertens could make a housecoat look hot. Fionna had never felt like that. She felt frumpy and dowdy, and she sometimes thought that only creepy old dudes like Abracadaniel and his buddies would want her. When she started scoring points with Bubba, it was like her dream coming true. "Yes," Fionna lied. As the wood-nymph studied her, she found herself wiping at tears. "No," she sobbed. Taking her by the arm, the wizard steered her out to the balcony. It was time they had a talk.

Across the room, Finn watched his _son_ sweep the beautiful breakfast person around the dance floor with bittersweet emotion. He was proud of the young man. He would have been delighted to have Bon be part of his family, and he'd been looking forward to seeing Bon and Fionna get married. Bonnie's bombshell had him happier than ever. Bon was his second son and Shoko his third daughter. At the same time, he was saddened by what this was doing to Fionna.

"Like my daughter," asked a voice from his past? Finn turned to find Breakfast Princess standing there watching him. The beautiful woman had lost none of her charm since he'd seen her last. She shared a body type with Emeraude. A little shorter than he, she had a slim body and narrow shoulders. She had plump, perky little boobs and round little hips that looked big on her. Her egg-yellow skin was still smooth and her white hair still glossy. Her intelligent, dark eyes burned into his as he responded, "I wasn't looking at her..."

She snorted in derision. "Can't be _her_ kid that fascinates you," said she. Finn flushed. No-one was supposed to know he was Bon's dad. Coming up alongside him, she said, "you're too old for her... And besides, my child's not going to play mistress." Smiling, she edged a little closer, and her hand brushed his. Finn's blush deepened. He vividly remembered making out with this woman. She'd been sixteen–a year older. They'd nearly gone all the way to Tier 15. They had stopped, but not for lack of enthusiasm on her side. He'd gotten cold feet and backed out.

Breakfast had tried for several years after that to get him to change his mind, repeatedly suggesting he stop by her place to try 'breakfast in bed'. Finn had been a little leery of visiting her since. Even after he married Simone and Emeraude, she'd kept trying, much to his wives' irritation. For Emeraude especially, BP was a problem with her constant insinuations of 'what was one more'. She'd even suggested that if she turned up preggers, Simone would _have_ to permit it.

"We're _both_ married," Finn reminded her. "I'm a princess," she retorted. Which Finn took to mean that if she chose it, her husband would get bounced in short order. "Hello, Finn," announced Simone. Finn blew out a relieved breath as his wife came around in front of him. Beautiful as ever and resplendent in a strapless blue dress that bared all her considerable charms, she had left a trail of drooling tongues as she came across the room. She'd come late because she'd been busy wrapping up at Simon and Betty's place. "Wanna' dance," he asked? He didn't wait for her answer. Instead, he took her by the arm and steered her onto the dance floor.

Out on the balcony, Emeraude stood listening to Fionna rant and rave about the unfairness of the universe. It was a refrain she was all too familiar with. When things got tight for her, and she was dealing with the fallout of her frequent bouts with self-destructive behavior, she would get to complaining about how her life was going. Many of her contemporaries laughed in her face, adding to the angst. She was richer than a couple of princesses, with a lifetime of money from busting up dungeons and doing dirty jobs for a gangster or two, but she was always complaining.

Simone had told her to put a sock in it one day, when she'd been on a tear. That moment–and Simone's refusal to back down–had cemented their friendship and changed Emeraude's perspective on life. That was the day she retired her old adventuring persona and all the negative baggage that went with it. "Yeah, Fi," said Emeraude in sardonic tones. "Life's unfair. You've been able to spend sixteen good years with your mom and dad right there beside you, cheering at every basketball game and every karate tournament. You've had a nice home that gave you the space to run around and play and explore. Your parents adore you, and now you find out you've even got two more brothers and a sister who adore you too. Life's real unfair for you."

Fionna flinched from that cutting commentary. Poking the baby-fat that still clung stubbornly to her belly, Huntress coolly announced, "life's been so _cruel_ , that you had the space to get _fat_ off your parents' cooking, and you go raid dungeons for _fun_ instead of scraping to get by." Walking coldly towards her, Huntress backed the young girl up until she bumped into a bench and all but tumbled onto it. Fionna burst into tears at those cold words, but Huntress wasn't taking any of it back. She glared at the young teen until Fionna backed down. Dashing the tears from her eyes, Fionna growled, " _you_ got what you wanted! How can you say that stuff t'me with what you did?!"

Nodding, Emeraude said, "yeah, bunny. I got what I wanted. I almost wrecked Finn's life. I hurt your momma. I came close to wrecking Star's life too. To say nothing of what I did to you and Billy. Your father almost froze to death in an empty cave, surrounded by a dead man's old junk, so I could get what I wanted..."

Fionna flinched from those awful statements. "There's not a day that goes by that I don't regret the choices I made, Fi. I love my daughter, and I love your dad. I even love Simone like a sister, but if I could do it again, I wouldn't choose to do this to all of us." "H-how can you say that," stammered the teen? She'd never in a million years have believed she'd hear that out of her step-mom! Sitting down beside her, Emeraude said, "what I did was wrong, bunny. I was selfish. I was the one selfish person there. Aquandrius wanted to punish Betty and Finn for trying to save two lives, and I almost helped him do it. I brought the danger with me. We were in more mortal danger from the selfishness I brought into that maze with me than from anything else. Remember that, Fi. When you see your brother with his new girlfriend, remember the price of being selfish. Sometimes what we want is not worth the price we'd have to pay."

Drying her eyes, sniffing at her tears, Fionna nodded. "I-I'll try," said she. Drawing out a handkerchief, Emeraude handed it to her daughter and rose to go. It was time for her second daughter to be alone to _think_. Stepping into the ballroom once more, she found Bonnie standing up on the dais at the head table, staring wistfully at something on the dance-floor. The wood-nymph knew what she was staring at without even being able to see it. It would have been the same thing she would have stared at. There were days she was still lonely, even with the rich life she had with Finn and Simone. She still hungered to have a man all to herself.

Making her way through the crowd, she spotted her and Simone's nemesis, standing on the edge of the dance floor fuming. Huntress passed the wench with a smirk on her face, opining, "you could try dancing with the man who came with you." It was fun to twit the little idiot. Finn was never going to change. He was a one-woman man, and only a stupid wish spell from an evil Wishmaster had a hope of changing that. Fortunately, Breakfast Princess wasn't brave enough to dare Aquandrius's maze to win one.

Stepping to the edge of the floor, she waited a few moments. Momentarily, Simone and Finn came into view, looking thoroughly relaxed, like they were having the time of their lives. A spark of jealousy flared in her heart, and she squished it just as quickly. Finn would dance with her in a minute. He always took care of her, no matter what it cost him.

Soon enough, the two stepped off the dance floor, Simone looking flushed and happy. Grinning, she snatched up Emeraude and hugged her, announcing, "your turn, sweetie..." She turned and pushed the wood-nymph towards Finn. Smiling back at her best friend in the world, Emeraude slipped her arms around their husband's waist and let him sweep her away.

Minutes later, Boniface Bubblegum stepped off the dance floor with his date. French Toast wanted to go to the lady's room. Bidding him goodbye for the moment, the beautiful young lady went out to the hall. Bon went out to the balcony to get some fresh air. He'd been feeling pretty good about the evening. The presence of a beautiful woman–and a snootful of hard cider–helped with that.

His mother had insisted that he dance with French Toast, and now he was glad he had given in. He'd been having trouble getting over his current situation with Fionna. It was hard reconciling his love for her as a sister with the earlier romantic feelings he'd had for her. Seeing her in that dress hadn't helped at all. Somehow, though, Frenchie, as he had come to call her, took his mind away from all of that. Now he was in a good mood, and excited to see what else the evening would bring him. Wanting a little fresh-air, he headed for the balcony, thinking of ways he could get to know French Toast. It was painfully clear that his mother wanted him courting her ally's daughter, and Bon had been resolved to go along to get along. Now, he didn't think it would be that bad.

He was smiling as he crossed the room and cheerful as he greeted his friends and his new relatives. Billy was there with his fiancé. That was an odd choice for the most eligible bachelor in the Candy Kingdom, but Bon didn't begrudge him his happiness. He was actually excited to go to his older brother's wedding. Honestly, he wanted his mother to come completely clean now. She was still trying to hide her transgression from the rest of the world, and Bon was sick of it. She'd caused so much tragedy in their family, and the young candy-person thought it was high time she made amends.

As he thought about ways of forcing his mother to publicly acknowledge the father of her children, the young heir stepped out onto the balcony and straight into the _fallout_ from his mother's transgressions. His bunny was there. Fionna, the beautiful young lady that he had been so smitten with, was waiting there on the balcony like a dream. It was clear to a fool that Fi had been crying. Just as immediate was the reason.

Bon's good mood evaporated as he realized that Fionna would have had to _watch_ him dance with another girl. Suddenly he didn't feel good. He felt like a dirty, dirty dog. "Well that didn't take long," growled Fionna. Bon flushed in embarrassment. He wasn't sure what was worse–having come close to railing your own sister or having to face your jilted girlfriend after finding somebody else. At the same time, the young prince knew they both had to move on. "I have to marry, Fionna," murmured Bon. "To secure the succession, the heir needs an heir." Which Fionna didn't give a fig about!

Irritated a little himself, Bon growled, "did you not get the memo about the _two-headed babies_ , Fionna? It's not like I _wanted_ to dump you! We're brother and sister! It... is what it is." "Aren't you at all upset," she sobbed? " _Yes_ ," he howled! "At my mom for lieing all these years!" They would never have been in this mess! They could have gotten to know each other the right way. Shedding tears of his own, Bon told her, "I'm sorry, Fi."

Stubborn to the last, Fionna said, "we're goin' t'the dark maze. We're gonna earn wishes and straighten this out." Bon glared at her. Now she was being stupid. Aquandrius was much too dangerous to trifle with, and wishes were too unpredictable. He'd done extensive investigations to understand how such a thing could work. His conclusion? Aquandrius was retroactively altering statistical probability to achieve a desired outcome. By going back and subtly twisting the ways the particles collided, he could achieve his desired outcome. If they asked not to be brother and sister, Aquandrius could easily achieve that goal by twisting past outcomes and preventing their births!

It took a few moments for Fionna to work through all the big words to reach Bon's heart-rending conclusion. Now she burst into tears. " _It's not fair_ ," sobbed Fionna! Feeling a wrenching pain as he watched his sister cry, Bon drew her into his arms. Inside, Bonnibel Bubblegum took note of Fionna's rather unsubtle attack on her plan. Having spotted Boniface going out on the same balcony that his sister was standing on, she'd decided to watch them using a hand-held surveillance monitor. Knowing how weak her son was when it came to Fionna, she knew she had to act.

French Toast was just re-entering the ballroom when she encountered Princess Bonnibel. The young princess greeted the older woman with, "Your Highness..." Smiling sweetly at her son's future wife, Bonnie handed her a glass and announced, "I'd like to propose a toast." The young woman graciously agreed. "To a future of wedded bliss," said Bonnie. Smiling to cover her embarrassment–the older woman was really going too fast with this–French Toast agreed. She took a big sip from the glass before handing it back. "Why don't you go find Boniface," suggested Princess Bubblegum? "He's out on that balcony..." Nodding, French Toast headed out to do just that.

Halfway across the room, she started to feel strange. Her nice, comfortable dress started to feel uncomfortably constricting–like it had shrunk. She felt... hot all over. It was like she had suddenly developed a fever. By the time she reached the balcony, the strange fever had become a great, roaring flame that threatened to consume her.

French Toast staggered out onto the balcony in a haze to find her would-be suitor talking to a strange blond girl. A fit of jealousy consumed her heart. The young woman pushed the other girl aside and seized Boniface Bubblegum by his collar, attempting to drag his face down to hers. "What're you doing, toast-face," howled Fionna?! She tried to grab French Toast, but it was much too late for that. The breakfast person fastened those lips to Bubba's, completing the chemical reaction that Bonnie's earlier toast with her son had started. In moments the two were enthusiastically kissing and caressing, while Fionna stared in horror. Sobbing, she ran off the balcony and straight out the door.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18:

Marshall knew he'd worn out his welcome when he saw the two proud parents whispering that evening. He'd gone home with the pretty young thing from Warrior-Town and kind-of moved in with her and her parents. He'd stayed with them for days in the castle/keep/fortified tower thing they called home while he putzed around doing impromptu shows in the local clubs. It didn't hurt at all that the food was good and the mom had the second biggest knobs he'd seen in his life. He hadn't minded fucking her even if she _was_ old enough to be his _mom_. The fact that he got to rail the pretty teen daughter was icing on the cake.

He'd done a pretty good job of keeping the two from knowing about each other and keeping the old man from knowing he was fucking either. Still, when he'd seen the whispering and the furtive looks, he knew things were getting hot. He'd gone along through dinner, smiling in all the right spots. He'd laughed at the old man's bad jokes and ducked the mom's dangerous questions. Now, laying awake, listening to the younger of his two fuck-beast's snoring, he heard signs that things were coming to a close faster than he expected.

He'd packed, of course. After getting busy with the pretty teen warriorette, Marshall had snuck down and grabbed his bag after she'd gone under. Now he slipped out of bed and into his clothes. Shouldering his bag, he opened the window. Down there in the darkness, he could see the development's narrow courtyard was full of angry men carrying weapons, likely in a vain effort to keep him here. With no official 'Princess', the Warrior Kingdom could be a pretty lawless place. He could imagine the man of the house telling them all about the rogue who'd been fucking his innocent, _virginal_ little girl and getting them all riled up. Half-vampire he might be, but Marshall didn't want to face that. Fortunately he didn't have to. Grinning a Cheshire Cat grin, he slowly floated out into the darkness just as his would-be father-in-law broke in.

It might have been nice to have the power of invisibility like his mother, but _daddy_ was too slow and his eyes too poor anyway. As arrows wobbled past, Marshall disappeared into the night, headed south this time. Engagement Ring Kingdom was the party capitol of Ooo. People came from all over the planet to have either wedding or honeymoon. There was always a party or banquet _somewhere_. Those people would pay big bucks to have the famous Marshall Lee entertain at their blessed event. The money would keep him going until he was old enough to tap the trust-fund his concert and record sales money was deposited in. He would fly all night–assuring he was across the border before his would-be in-laws caught up.

As Marshall flew on through the dark, his older brother was looking at making an escape as well. JJ had gotten sick on the fruit salad and rushed for the toilets. Now she was back, looking wobbly and a little dizzy. The young hero had been dragging his lady all over the hall, showing her off and making sure everyone knew about them. Now he was afraid he'd gotten her sick. She'd been out of sorts earlier in the evening too, and he feared she'd taken a turn for the worse with all the rushing about.

As he felt her forehead and clucked at her in worry, Dr. Princess slipped out of the crowd by his side. She was wearing a bombshell of a dress in an earthy brown with a skirt that hung barely above her hips by two broad straps that went up over her bountiful knobs and around her neck, barely containing her rack. Kneeling beside the patient, Drew Princess announced, "allow me..." Billy was quick to clear out of her way. As he stood there watching and fidgeting, Drew did a cursory exam of the patient, checking symptoms and asking pointed questions. As Billy watched, JJ's face became redder and redder. Finally she was forced to admit the truth.

Blowing out a breath, Junior muttered, "I'm pregnant, ok?" Glance at Billy, and she admitted, "I was gonna' tell you... I just... Our folks didn't seem too happy for us..." Billy stared at her in stunned surprise for a moment. Then he jerked his fiancé to her feet and held her tight. As Drew watched, the young hero gave the shapechanger a smoking hot kiss. Breaking that kiss, Billy said, "I better take you home..." "No," howled Junior! "You've got duties here!" Re-entering the fray, Drew Princess interrupted them with, "in any event, given Junior's _diverse_ genetic background, I'll want to examine her. I'll be happy to drive her home after."

Billy wasn't thrilled about that, but he knew the doctor was a better choice. And anyway, he was going to be a dad! He was _delighted_. The hero gave his woman a quick peck on the lips, then thanked both of them for understanding. After giving Finn's son a hug, the doctor took Junior by the arm and headed out. Billy returned to his duties, patrolling the edges of the party and making sure nobody got out of pocket.

Circulating through the Princess's party, he interrupted a member of Engagement Ring Princess's court before he said something stupid to Baron Elftmann and got his head bashed in. The Baron was de-facto lord of the Warrior Kingdom. With the Kingdom's princess dead in their tragic civil war, the Baron had been slowly building his power to take charge–with the quiet urging of some of the more _active_ rulers around him. Billy wasn't so sure that was a good idea. The Baron was kind of a jerk. Still, that wasn't his decision to make. He was a cop. That was above his pay-grade.

As he passed the balcony, his younger brother, Boniface, burst out of the balcony with his betrothed, almost bowling him over. With the briefest of apologies, the pair went rushing up the length of the hall towards the door, leaving Billy staring after them in puzzlement. If he didn't know any better, he would have sworn Bon had lipstick all over his face. More to the point, he'd seen a flash of skin, and that left him wondering if the two hadn't gotten a little _too_ cozy. _Not my business,_ thought Billy. Bonnibel Bubblegum had made it clear that she still wanted that separation between her kids and their half-siblings, so Finn–and by extension his wife and kids–had backed away. Whatever Bon was up to with Breakfast Princess's fast little daughter was Bonnie's problem now.

Indeed, Boniface and French Toast were well out of control. Bon had been in themiddle of enthusiastically feeling up his bride. He'd had one hand under her skirt, squeezing her beautiful apple-bottom while his other hand palmed her plump right booby. It was only a vague sense that they might get caught that had enabled the two to break contact at all. That had led to the thought that they really ought to go somewhere more private. Without bothering to stop or even acknowledge anyone they met, Bon half-led, half-dragged his overheated little bride upstairs to the palace's sleeping quarters.

The two eager teens rushed up to the door of Bon's room where the young prince pushed his bride-to-be up against the wall, locking his lips to hers. "Mmm," moaned the sexy breakfast treat as her soon-to-be fiancé caressed her broad hips. Bon's hands were like magic, getting her more and more excited as they roamed all over her feverish body. His right hand squeezed the meaty thickness of her ass, while his left stroked her flank, inches from her perky young boobies. His hands worked their way around her perfect body, getting teasingly close to her knobs or even to her hot, steamy pussy, but never quite touching her. Frustrated, French Toast began to rub her crotch against his, feeling the heavy thickness of his pole with just the few millimeters of cloth they were wearing in the way. Bon grabbed her hips and pulled her against him, making her feel the gift he wanted to give her.

Breaking that kiss, he stared deep into her dark eyes. He wanted her. He wanted her like he'd wanted nothing else in his life. Reaching out, he brushed his palm across the lock on the door, and then, taking her by the wrist, he drew her inside. Shutting the door behind them, the young man bent and scooped her up, then carried her to his bed. Lost in the thrill of the moment and the strange hunger she felt for him, French Toast snuggled close to him, savoring the contact. He was so big and strong! He was so much more handsome than her last suitor, he was almost _pretty_. She wanted to give him babies. She wanted to give him lots of babies.

Gently, Bon lay his woman down on his soft, pink bed. Kicking off his shoes, he climbed up over her and slowly began to undress her. Frenchie sighed breathily as he stroked her soft bronze skin, caressing every inch of her as he slowly unveiled her heavenly body to his hungry gaze. As her perky knockers sprung free of her bodice, the young prince bent and kissed them, sending shivers through her body. His hands stroked and caressed them, eliciting soft moans and gasps of delight from her lips. Leaning forward, he kissed her sweet lips, and for answer, she began to run the length of her long, sleek leg against his side, teasing him, while her fingers glided through his pale hair.

Bon drew back. Licking his lips, he thought of what he wanted to do to her. There were a lot of techniques he could try to give her pleasure, and his fertile mind cycled through all of them. Finding he couldn't decide just what to try, he decided to do _everything_ to her. Jerking her thighs wide, he dove under her skirt. Her panties were already a little damp, and he inhaled her musk, finding she smelled like his kitchen on a warm summer day–sweet with the subtle tang of yeast. Pulling the crotch of her panties aside, he took an experimental swipe with his tongue. "Ooooahh," she squealed. When he found he liked what he was tasting, Bubba Bubblegum began to lick and slurp on her hot snatch, driving her crazy. "Ooh.. Oh, Bon," she howled! "Oh, no! Oh! Unh... unh... Yeessss!" As she went over the edge, her surging hips nearly threw him off the bed.

As she calmed down, Frenchie decided that she wanted to have a taste too. Sitting up, she began to practically tear the clothes off her man. Popping buttons with abandon, the sexy young thing tore his shirt off and hurled it into the corner. Then she went after his pants, baring his hard body to her hot gaze. "I want to taste it," she said, as she stroked the big pecker tenting his shorts. "I want some of that too!" Bon lay down beside her, head up near the top of the bed. Frenchie lay down with her steamy snatch near his face. Then she began to unwrap her present.

The fat log sprang out as she slipped his shorts down. Grinning like a fool, she wrapped her slim hand around his big dick and began to stroke it, licking her lips as pale, pinkish goo dribbled out. Swiping her dainty tongue against his tip, she moaned, "mmm..." That wasn't half bad. Sliding the shorts off of him, she tossed them aside before returning to her present. As Bon began to lick and slurp on her hot gash, Frenchie slid her lips down his dong. The two horny teens began to go down on each other, licking and sucking. Bon reached down between them and rubbed her perky knobs, stroking and caressing first one and then the other. He had heard of titty-fucking, and he was determined to try that too at some point. In the now, he found that her hard sucking and the soft scraping of her teeth across his skin was driving him crazy.

His free hand slipped down and began to glide through her long yellowish-brown hair, stroking her soft skin as she sucked him hard, trying to get him to blow. He found himself fighting the urge to shove his dick in her mouth. That was rude and crude–something he would have expected of his half-brother, Marshall. To distract himself, he focused on what he was doing to her. The handsome teen royal nibbled at her button, catching it between his teeth and tugging on it causing Frenchie to shriek around a mouthful of his hard pecker. The feel of that was a little too much, and he ended up shooting off in her mouth and then all over her pretty face as she drew back to get her breath. "Glob," she breathed, as she sat up. Rubbing herself wasn't anything like that!

Grinning, the sexy princess stood up. As Bon watched, she slid out of her skirt and then her panties, leaving them on the floor. Wriggling those sexy hips of hers, she danced there beside his bed. The young prince found that his hunger for her was unsated. He wanted more. He knew it was wrong. They were going much too far too fast, but he couldn't help himself. Sliding over to the edge of the bed, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to him.

Frenchie squeaked as she landed on top of him. But then his lips were on hers, and they were grinding their hungry bodies against each other. In moments, they'd swapped spots. He rolled her on her back, as he continued to stroke and caress her sleek hips and cupcake ass, squeezing and stroking the hard muscle. She was athletic like his sister–firm everywhere. Her body aflame, Frenchie broke that heated kiss and whined, "Bon... Oh, my sweet Bon, won't you please do it to me?!" Her wish was his command!

Boniface eased her slim thighs apart. Fisting his drooling rod until the tip was well-coated in his pink goo, Bon pressed his pecker against her opening. There was a sharp intake of breath as he shoved his rod inside. And then they were doing it. It was wild and fast, with Bon ramming his hard log in like an animal. Frenchie wrapped her long legs around his waist, and held on, screaming into his shoulder as he railed her hard.

Her whole body shook, and her first climax came like a bomb in her mind, making her see stars. Wrapping her slim arms around his waist, she started grinding her perky boobies against his skin, feeling the hairs on his chest against her sensitive nips. Her hips thrust back at him, their bodies slapping together, making the bed rock rhythmically. Bon could feel his climax rising quickly. A remote corner of his mind screamed that he should stop. He should stop this and get his rod out of her belly. If he shot off now... But his little brother was in charge right now, and only his mother or Frenchie's coming in and catching them would have stopped him.

Frenchie went over the edge again, screaming his name, and then, seconds later, she went over again. This time her future hubby lost it too, shooting what felt like every drop of goo he would ever possess into her steamy snatch. Rolling over on his side, he continued to hold her, stroking and caressing her soft skin, while they rubbed their bodies against each other.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19:

As Bonnie's son experienced heaven on earth, one of her many wayward creations was about to experience a living hell. The day had started well enough for Braco. He and his life-companion had gone walking that morning, then spent a little time on household chores. They weren't invited to the fancy ball at the palace, though, in times past, Braco, as a leading citizen of the Candy Kingdom would have been entitled to go. He'd forgotten about it. He rarely paid much attention to goings on in his homeland anymore. None of it mattered. Instead, he had this wonderful existence on the fringes of society.

With chores done, he and his life-companion moved on to lunch. When the urge took him that afternoon, he'd made love to his beautiful lady. They'd taken a nap afterwards, snuggling up in bed. With nobody to bother them, it was another perfect day in Braco's perfect life with his perfect woman. Just now, he had finished the excellent dinner Bonnie made, and now they were reading to each other. They did that every day, slowly working their way through every book in Turtle-Prince's library. Bonnie was reading to him just now, and the demon-altered candy-person listened intently to her melodious voice. As he listened, there came a tremendous knocking at the door.

That was an oddity to the twisted mutant. He didn't often have guests. As in at all. Frowning, as Bonnie continued to read, he listened and waited. No fluke or phantasm of the mind, the curious knocking came again. Bidding his beloved wait a moment, the mutant rose and went to the door. Opening the door, he was a little surprised to find a diminutive candy person at his door.

The little beauty smiled up at him, asking, "are you Braco, by chance?" Nodding, he replied, "I am... How may I help you?" A crossbow bolt came speeding out of the darkness. It slammed into his skull and buried itself to the fletchings. The mutant toppled over, dead before he hit the ground. Shocked by this sudden assault, P-Bot was on her feet, rushing to the aid of her beloved. As she reached the door, a jolt of lightning slammed into her artificial body, scrambling electronic synapses and disrupting software routines. The strange robotic facsimile of Princess Bubblegum tottered there a moment before falling to the floor with a dull thud.

A dozen forms came rushing in out of the darkness, clambering over Braco's still body. Four of them wrapped the ersatz-Bubblegum up in a carpet and carried her out of the house. The remainder spread lamp oil all over the house. Gathering up Braco's body, they carried it back inside and removed the arrow from his head before setting the place alight and running back into the darkness. As the house burned, two figures stood staring at the flames for a few moments longer.

The shapechanger had shown up in a dress, looking as though she'd just come from a soiree with the Candy Kingdom's beautiful people, which told her boss all about how deep Jake Junior was with Finn the Human's kid. On Junior's side, she was utterly horrified, distraught about having to lie to her fiancé, and terrified that he'd call their place and find out she wasn't actually in bed. She had an alibi. Dr. Princess had dropped her off at home and watched her go into her apartment building. Unfortunately, it was a very tenuous alibi for a crime of this magnitude.

"Thinking of your boo," asked the crime-boss? Junior blushed to her ears, but she gave it right back, growling, "you didn't say you were going to murder him!" She was supposed to find these two. She'd bribed a clerk in the Candy Kingdom's bureaucracy to let her access Braco's records. "What," asked the crime boss? "You thought we were going to take him prisoner or something?" The shapechanger's expression said it all. That was exactly what she was expecting.

The crime-boss howled laughter. It was just too funny. Head shaking in amused disgust, the boss asked, "what, you going soft? I guess now that you're getting regular dick, your brain's turning to mush." Face hot, the shapechanger growled, "killing ex-cons and thugs in Candy-Town's one thing. She _knows_ him. She built that robot personally." The gangster knew who _she_ was. The Boss chuckled, "don't you worry about her. You just get the tasks I gave you finished." "Yeah, yeah," muttered Junior. She turned, got into her car, and peeled out. The crime-lord watched her go with an expression something like worry. The shapechanger was becoming more and more erratic. Her little fling with Finn the Human's kid was becoming a problem.

Indeed, Junior found herself gritting her teeth and close to wailing in agony as she went tearing down the road. This was getting worse and worse every day. This wasn't supposed to be how they did business. She'd signed on to make a lot of crooked money quickly, and that was it. Whacking a bunch of dead-end gangsters was just pointless fun. She had no emotional attachment to them, and she didn't think anybody else did either. Now her boss was edging closer and closer to something much more dangerous, and Junior wasn't sure what to do about it. She'd hoped this would go a little slower. She was hoping to be on her honeymoon in a land far away when the Candy Kingdom went up in smoke. Now, she found herself riding the tiger and wondering when it was going to start biting random people.

Morning found French Toast laying contentedly against her beau, feeling Bon's strong arms around her. They'd made love all night. It had been incredible, and the young prince insatiable. She wasn't sure what had come over them. After their initial awkward meeting, she'd started to warm up to Bon, but she would hardly have expected to go this far this fast. What was her mother going to say?

Her stirring woke the candy-prince, and he sat up with a start as memory came flooding back. He'd... _ravaged_ the Princess. He'd... gone much too far too fast. What was his mother going to say? For that matter, what would French Toast's mother say? Mortally embarrassed, he offered profuse apologies to his betrothed.

Brushing her fingers across his hair, the princess replied, "no regrets, Bon. I liked it. A lot." Part of her would gladly have done it again, if not for the hour and the fact that her mother was probably looking for her. Bon sighed. Laying down beside her, he found himself realizing just how pretty _she_ was and just how lucky _he_ was. He often disagreed with his mother, but in this case she seemed to have come through. He wouldn't mind waking up to French Toast every morning for the rest of his life. He'd lost Fionna, and he knew she'd be upset. At the same time, he had _this_. He wasn't sure if it was love, but he thought it could be.

Grinning, he told his future bride, "let's get down to breakfast." Frowning, French Toast replied, "why do you want to visit my mom..." Bon face-palmed himself. It was a little weird that her mother's name was Breakfast. His father took it in stride, but there were days that the whimsical world of Ooo didn't work for a straight-laced boy like him. It was only after her frown totally collapsed into a grin that he realized she was teasing him.

"I'll get you for that," said he, as he pounced. He tickled her until she shrieked, and he kept on tickling. French Toast gyrated and wriggled, trying to get away, which just added a little lust to the fun he was having. Her soft body against his quickly had his little buddy standing proud, and he was contemplating railing her again, when there came a knocking at the door. "Uh, hey," said Bon, as he got off the princess. "I'll be right there..."

The door opened to admit Peppermint Butler. Bon threw the covers over himself and his guest. The nasty little man-servant calmly strode to the closet and drew out clothes for the prince, announcing, "it's time to rise, Master Boniface. I have a robe for the Princess..." He put out a dapper suit in cream for the young heir and then hung the princess's robe on the armoire. Then, after admonishing them to wash and get ready for formal dining with their parents, the butler got on his way.

Bon grinned over at his girl and asked, "want to shower together?" French Toast blushed, but then realized that the butler didn't say they had to separate right this very minute. "Yeah," said she, as she bounced out of bed. Butt wiggling saucily, she headed for his bathroom. Bon took his time, stretching and twisting the kinks out of his body before following.

Twenty minutes later, Prince and Princess walked into the Royal Dining Room to find Breakfast Princess and Princess Bonnibel waiting. Bon's mouth watered at the smell of good cooking. Breakfast greeted them with, "morning... You two must have been having a good time..." Bon blushed and coughed. Frenchie, as he called her, merely smiled. Holding hands, the two came forward. As they came towards the table, Breakfast got a good appreciation for just how good a time they'd had. Her daughter was walking with a characteristic bow-legged gait. The Prince seemed to have railed her child bow-legged! They'd just _met_! _That little_ bastard _,_ thought Breakfast.

Irritated, she got up and headed for the door, announcing, "need to talk, Bonnibel. Now, please." As Bon watched, his mother rose and followed her neighbor out into the hall. He knew just what that was about. He'd noticed Frenchie walking funny too. He'd hoped nobody else would, but it had been a vain hope. Oblivious, Frenchie dug into her favorite food with a ravenous appetite.

Outside, Breakfast lit into Bonnie, growling, "your son fucked the shit out of my daughter!" "Of course he did," replied Bonnie. "The potions I gave each of them insured mutual attraction..." Breakfast's jaw came unhinged, and she _stared_ at Bonnie. Calmly, Bonnie said, "I had to be sure my son would have reason to pursue French Toast. Now he does. The fertility drugs in the potions should make sure of that."

Breakfast had just been collecting herself from the first revelation. Now her jaw dropped again. This madwoman had just insured that her daughter was _pregnant_! Without even the decency of a marriage! She leaped at Bonnie, who simply dodged aside as if she'd been expecting that. Calmly, as Breakfast picked herself up from the floor, Bonnie said, "you wanted an alliance. Now we're committed." Breakfast Princess sighed. Yes they apparently were.

Meanwhile, Finn the Human and his son were dealing with the awful scene at Braco's house. The news had come to them as Bonnie's Summer Ball was wrapping up. Instead of Billy getting to go look in on his lady to make sure she was alright, he'd had to take a trip out across the wilds of the Candy Kingdom in the dark to go investigate the report of fire up at Lake Chocoberry. He had arrived to find that the house had already gone up in smoke, and he'd turned around and headed back for help–a full four or five hours round-trip across the rough terrain west of the kingdom. By then, his father had gotten the news, and he'd insisted on coming along. Apparently this Braco guy meant something to him, though he never really opened up on the long drive.

When they'd arrived, just as the sun was coming out, the Captain of the Guard had immediately put his men to work, sifting through the wrack and ruin of the house, searching out survivors and trying to decipher just what had happened here. Walking at his side, Billy did his best to help even as he tried to learn just what his dad was doing/looking for.

The mood was thick on Billy's dad as the two picked their way through the rubble that had been a lakefront cabin. He'd heard the name 'Braco' before, but he wasn't entirely sure who the dead man was or why it mattered so much to his dad. Standing there in the center of the living room, staring at the mound of dust and bone-chips, Finn gave vent to a heavy sigh. This was eating him up. "Any sign of another body," asked the hero? Frowning, Billy replied, "no. Why?" The older man frowned a moment. "Electronics," he asked? "Are there any electronics on the floor?" A puzzled Billy replied, "found some burnt up circuit cards in the corner. Why?"

Without a further word, Finn went over to the indicated corner and stood there a moment studying the pile of junk there. He wasn't sure just what he was looking at. Honestly, he didn't know what P-Bot was made of. He could only assume she was here when the house went up. "Let's get them buried," said Finn. _Them,_ thought a puzzled Billy? It was only when his dad gathered up the broken and burnt circuit-cards that Billy realized what he meant. Puzzled as anything, the young hero followed the old outside. There the circuit-cards got placed in a body-bag, just like the remains of poor old Braco.

As Billy looked on, his dad said words over the two sets of _remains_ , though strangely he lingered beside the bag full of junk. When the prayers and good wishes got said, the big man straightened and began dispensing orders. He wanted his detectives to do a complete investigation. He wanted them to be thorough. He needed to know how this had happened. Knowing Bonnie's issues better than most people, he had done his best to warn Braco off of pursuing the princess, and he felt a kinship with the strange candy-person. And then there was P-Bot. He sort of felt like she was a friend. He still sometimes thought of that kiss. When he'd gone in to see Bonnie after bringing her home from being kidnaped by his dad, P-Bot had still been on the job, pretending to be the Princess and running the kingdom.

She'd surprised him in the audience hall. And kissed him. It was just like Bonnie– _felt_ like Bonnie. He'd been utterly shocked to realize that it was the _robot_. She'd wanted to say goodbye. It was only later that he realized what she'd been really telling him. Honestly, it had taken the shocking revelation of just how far Bonnie herself had taken things to make him understand the meaning of that kiss. P-Bot had had a thing for him just like her creator. It was crazy to think of it. A machine. She/it was a machine. _With Bonnie's personality,_ thought Finn. In a way, she was Bonnie, and that made her his friend too. He'd never really gotten to know her. She was _here_ , looking after Braco. She'd been made to look after the mutant, and she'd taken that duty very seriously. Now Finn found that he wished he'd just stopped by to say hello.

Done speaking, Finn ordered his men to fill in the two graves. As the Banana Guards filled in the two holes, their leader headed back to his vehicle. Billy found he still wanted to ask. Who was Braco? What was the deal with the circuit-cards? At the same time, he wanted to see JJ and know she was alright. The mystery could wait. Letting his dad know he was going straight home, the young hero got in his truck and went tearing out of there.

It took will to make himself slow down. He didn't need to wreck his truck and hurt himself. Out here in the wild and so far off the beaten track, you'd be unlikely to get found and many candy-people ran afoul of wild animals every year. Now that he had a kid on the way, he needed to be more careful with his life. JJ needed him. He wasn't going to be like her father–abandoning his kids and leaving kids and girlfriend to fend for themselves.

Reaching the road, he paused a moment, considering continuing cross-country but decided not to do that. The road was safer. It was well-maintained and paved, and there were few bumps and ruts to damage his truck. More to the point, there was the hope that if he wrecked, somebody might see him out there, even if it took a few hours or a couple days. If he went cross-country and went in a gully or something, he was done for.

It was a nerve-wracking trip, with Billy spending much of the time going in slow circles, thinking about all the complications that had just come to his life. He understood why JJ had been so reluctant to tell him. They were just starting out. This couldn't have come at a worse time. He still needed to polish off the last few credits to earn his degree. His birthday was still a few months off. It was a safe bet that the minute his mothers knew about this, he'd be scraping them off the ceiling, and, unfortunately, they still had control of his life–at least until he was eighteen.

That didn't even start to address all the other issues they had to face. JJ was already a hybrid, with mixed DNA from two wildly different species. Their kid(s) would be radically different, and that might cause them all kinds of health problems. That would require money to deal with, and Billy just didn't have that kind of money right now. Nor did he think JJ was swimming in cash. When Billy's mother got pregnant with him, his dad had gone from being well-off to broke over the space of a single winter. But there was nothing to be done about it. JJ was pregnant. They would just have to deal with it. And that led into the most difficult part of this. JJ was a hybrid. Would she even be capable of safely having kids? He was afraid of what this might do to _her_ health.

The young hero had to make himself slow down again once he left the Princess's Highway and pulled onto the back road that led to JJ's place. Weaving in and out of the debris there–both ambulatory and stationary–he made his way down her street, arriving at last at the place he'd come to call home. Locking his truck and setting its protections, he went rushing up the stairs and down the hall, his mind focused on his girl and their kid(s).

With shaking hands, Billy the Human fumbled with his key, trying to fit it into the lock. It took three tries to do it without breaking the key off in the lock. Opening the door, he slipped quickly inside and shut the door before remembering that he'd left the key outside. Rolling his eyes and muttering curses, the young man opened the door and pulled the key from the lock. Finally, he turned to the bed where his lady was laying.

He found her there in her PJs laying beneath the covers with the blanket pulled up to her chest. She looked peaceful with her hair wild and unkempt and her arms at her sides. Carefully, Billy settled on the edge of the bed and took her hand. Sitting up, she murmured, "hey, babe... Did you just get in?" "Yeah," sighed Billy. "Had an emergency last night." It was the downside of what he did for a living. Stroking her face, he asked, "how did it go with Dr. P?" Grinning, she said, "fantastic, baby. I'm... We're... It's really gonna' happen." Billy began to pump his fist in excitement, shouting, "yes!" That made Junior laugh.

When he was calm again, he turned his attention back to JJ and asked, "and you?" She gave him a puzzled frown by way of answer. "How are you doing," Billy asked? "Really." With a sigh, she admitted, "Dr. Princess wants me to take some time off. She says I haven't been eating well..." "Then you're going to take a few days off," replied Billy. She gave him an ugly frown, but then Billy began to tickle her, instantly turning that frown upside down. Seizing his girl, Billy held her close and said, "we're gonna' get through this, honey. If my mom and dad could get through all the drama with the Ice-Crown, this'll be cake..."

 **Poor Braco. Looks like the end of the road for his happy life. Guess we'll have to see what use the gangs have for P-Bot.**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20:

The sun was up way too early–or Finn was up way too late. Rolling over, he reached out and checked the clock. The alarm was off. Somebody had turned the alarm off. _WTF,_ thought the hero? Scrambling out of bed, Finn rushed to the bathroom. He took a rushed shower and then all but _jumped_ into his clothes. Rushing downstairs, Finn found his oldest daughter waiting. With breakfast. At his accusing look, Fi blushed. Softly, she said, "dad, you got home at _three_! When are you going to _sleep_?"

It was Finn's turn to blush, but he replied, "I can nap at work..." She blew up at him. Waving her hands in the air, she shouted, "with the bananas coming in and out all day! Dad, you drove into a _ditch_ last week!" With a sigh, Finn sat down at the table. No sooner had his butt touched the seat, than Fionna was shoveling food at him. His raised eyebrow drew her ire. "What," she demanded, "you don't think I can cook?!" Of course everybody around the house knew Fionna's cooking was an _acquired_ taste.

Honestly, Finn thought she would have to marry some guy who was richer than rich, because she'd need lots of help in the kitchen. Grinning slyly, he teased her, "well your sausages are a little crunchy sometimes..." His daughter pounced on him, slugging him hard in the arms and chest as she shouted, "you take that back! You take that back, daddy!" He did no such thing. Instead, he laughed, which made _her_ laugh.

In the middle of his laughter and her punches, Fionna suddenly broke down and began to cry. Throwing herself on him, the pretty blonde cried into his shirt. Finn hugged her. "I know it hurts, baby," he whispered. "Daddy," she wailed! "I saw him kissin' another girl!" He knew. He'd seen the surveillance video. Moments like these, he wanted to punch Bonnie himself! Hugging his child, he said, "I know how you feel. I... felt like this the day Bonnie told me I was being creepy for trying to express my love." Fionna straightened. She stared at him. For a long few moments, she just stared. It was like she'd never imagined her father could feel like that–that he could fall apart.

Sitting down, she seemed to ponder that for a few minutes. "How did you...," she started to say. "I didn't," Finn replied. Fionna's jaw came unhinged. Finn gave his daughter a reassuring smile. Frowning, Fionna stammered, "b-but you..." "I found Phoebe," Finn explained. "It hurt when Bonnie dumped on me, but it became a step on the road to growing up." "So you're saying I need to grow up," muttered the young woman. "Nope," replied Finn. "I'm saying there are lots of dudes out there, and my kid is freakin' hot stuff..." Fionna blushed to her hair. Laughing, she said, "eat your breakfast, daddy."

Late for work as he was, Finn wolfed down breakfast, and if the sausages were a little chewy, he didn't complain. Giving his daughter a kiss and an admonishment to get out of the house and have some fun, Finn headed down to his truck. He left his daughter staring into space as she puttered around at doing the dishes. She had a lot of thinking to do.

Elsewhere, the twin causes of Fionna's pain were also finishing up breakfast. Bon, who had come down without his betrothed for the first time in a week, sat brooding on the opposite side of the table from his mother. The royal family of the Candy Kingdom had grown apart over the last five years or so. Bon would be the first to say it. His mother had immersed herself in work the minute her kids were old enough to fend for themselves. Little had changed since, and now Bon was fed up with it. After the dreadful events of the last few weeks, he wasn't prepared to let her go back to business as usual.

Of course, forcing Bonnibel Bubblegum to pay attention was a tough row to hoe as Bon's father could have told him. As they had sat through a rather cold and silent breakfast, the young heir had found himself wracking his brain for a way to start the discussion. Now, as his mother slugged down a glass of bug-milk, the young man thought he saw a way. He'd known, clinically, how unhealthy his mom lived, but he'd only had the proof of it when he was dragged home the night of her ugly revelation. His mother had been dehydrated and worn, and he'd almost been more shocked by her appearance than her words. Now that gave him an opening to start a conversation that was long past due.

As Bonnie dabbed at her lips, her son screwed up his courage and said, "mother, where have you been for the last few months...?" Bonnie glanced up at her eldest with a look of surprise. That quickly turned to guilt as she stared into her son's eyes. He didn't want guilt. He wanted his mother to be involved again. Resolving to try again, the young man opined, "mother, you're working much too hard. I insist that you share with me what you're doing. I want to help..."

Stroking his handsome face the way she did when he was a boy, Bonnibel Bubblegum told her son, "sweet boy, never mind about that. I'm fine. I'm better than fine. I'm happy to see you've found somebody who suits you." Boniface flushed. Oh, boy did French Toast _suit_ him. Having her as his girlfriend was like having a skin-tight suit. You all but had to peel it off. He was a little embarrassed at the way they'd carried on. He'd lost track of the number of times he'd railed her the last week or so.

"Get to know your sweetie," said his mother. Leaning in, she gave him a peck on the cheek. Turning away, she said, "I'm going to be at the Vault." "The Vault," rumbled Boniface. "Right." That at least gave him _some_ idea what she was up to. It also helped explain her obsession with food reports. The Spoon of Plenty was stored in the Vault when not in use. He knew the spoon was idle. It had been for _weeks_. The workers using it to process raw material–the ash and trash of the kingdom–into food had been on furlough. As his mother exited the room, a terrifying thought struck him. There was something wrong with the Spoon of Plenty! Why else would his mother be obsessed with the food supply?

Finn made it into work fashionably late to find the office in fine shape. The guys were working, and, for a change, things seemed well in hand. Rested and with his stomach full, Finn was in a good mood, whistling a tune. Striding through the door to his office, he found his second wife there waiting. _That explains why everyone's toeing the line,_ thought Finn. "Morning, E," said he, as he slipped out of his jacket. She was in _working clothes_ today–pants in serviceable, heavy-weight fabric, a loose-fitting yellow blouse with short sleeves, and her trademark purple boots.

As he approached, he greeted his woman with a kiss, startling her. He'd been a little irritated by her taking his guys off-task to pursue her vendetta against her people. As he settled himself, the wizard came and perched on the desk the way she did when they first met. Finn wasn't having any of that. Grabbing her arm, he pulled her into his lap. Locking lips with her, he gave her butt a squeeze. Much like always, the wizard melted into his arms.

As she lay snuggled in against him, Emeraude the Huntress sighed breathily, "I guess you're not mad anymore..." Finn chuckled. Things had been a little strained between them since the Court Wizard decided to run all her peeps out of town. Finn wasn't happy about the additional unrest and loss of his guys' time. Nor was he thrilled that she had revoked his protection without asking. At the same time, he saw she was right. The nymph-babes had totes been taking advantage of his kindness. Serious again, she sat up and said, "I may have stirred somebody up..." Finn frowned. "Who," he asked? Most people knew better than to mess with Huntress. Her police record was expunged, but not her record with the underworld.

Climbing to her feet again, she admitted, "don't know... I just... I've had people following me lately..." Finn frowned. He knew his mother-in-law was affiliated with some really bad dudes. It was hard to believe she'd sic them on her own daughter though. Still E wasn't known for being a nervous Nelly. Looking up, Finn said, "I can assign..." Smiling the wood-nymph cut him off with a finger to his lips. "Assign somebody to Simone," said she, "and maybe the kids... I can take care of myself." Finn sighed, "ok, babe..." He didn't like it, but he'd learned not to argue over the years. Leaning down, she slipped her fingers through his hair and kissed him. Whispering 'I love you', the wizard got on her way.

Finn turned his attention to his work. There were stacks of reports on his desk to get through. He'd transferred the Prophet's guys out of Cakeville and moved the bulk of them to old Jellyet Prison on the kingdom's southern border. They had been in the process of closing Jellyet because it was outdated and worn out, but it made the perfect spot to house James's crazies where they couldn't hurt anyone else. He needed a more permanent solution to that little problem, but this bought him time. Eventually a court case would work its way through and force him to move the prisoners or release them or something, but he had bought some time. Now if he could get access to Bonnie and get her permission to run James out of the kingdom or something...

As he was pondering his approach to Bonnie, his eyes fell on something interesting in the stack of documents and reports on his desk. One of his detectives had an informant who wanted to speak to him. Finn picked up the sheet of paper and began to read, finding himself immediately intrigued. His would-be informant had information on James–or rather on the person who was bank-rolling him. Finn dug through that little scrap of paper voraciously. Apparently the person in question was a woman, and she was a former member of the Prophet's twisted church. She knew for a fact that James was receiving money from a mysterious benefactor to pay his supporters. Furthermore, the document suggested that maybe James didn't have the following he claimed to have–that maybe there were more men being paid than not.

It was something Finn simply had to investigate. That would be a quick way out of his problem. If he could show how figuratively bankrupt James was–and maybe expose his financial backer–that would shatter James's pack of crazies on the spot and get Finn out of a jam. Rising, Finn gathered on his jacket again. This was something he had to go and deal with. Right flippin' now.

Hundreds of miles to the south, Marshall Lee Abadeer was just finishing up a set on his most lucrative gig yet. Lord Leclerc had three daughters being married off at once, and he'd contracted with Marshall to play the rehearsal dinner, the wedding, and the reception. Marshall had fired the crowd up at the rehearsal dinner, porked the shit out of the middle daughter in the bathroom after the show, and then come back and had a blast playing the wedding and reception. Now he drifted lazily through the crowd, watching the people having a good time.

Strangely enough, he felt a little melancholy. He was getting more pussy than ever since he'd gotten out on his own, but he felt a keen _depression_. There was something missing in his life. Strangely, in spite of the fact that he never did get to bang Shoko–in spite of all the hinting and the teasing, his sister was careful never to let him go too far–he _missed_ the times he'd spent with her. _So what're you thinking, Marshall,_ thought the dhampir? _You wanna' make the beast with two backs with your little sister? Is that it?_ The answer to that was a definite _no_.

Honestly, now that he knew the truth, it gave him the willies thinking about how close they had come because he'd so wanted to do her, and it was clear now that, far from being the defender of princess-virginity, his dad was about as easy-going as they came. If Shoko had been willing, Finn wasn't going to get in the way. Even if he got Shoko up the duff and put a baby in her tummy, the big man would have probably done no more than lecture them on being stupid and make them take care of it. No, it totes creeped the half-vampire out to think about how close he'd come to the two-headed-baby thing. Still, there was _something_ there that had really felt good, and he knew somehow he would have had no trouble hanging with Shoko and jamming with her the way they had a few times in one of his bandmate's crash-spaces.

Shoko _got_ him. She didn't get upset when he was an obnoxious jerk. She even laughed sometimes at some of the outrageous things he did. She could sit there for _hours_ listening to him jam and not say a word, just happy to listen. It was a far cry from Candy and her mom, both of whom had just wanted to latch onto a little of his fame and youth. He didn't really feel bad about bangin' Candy and running off because he knew that Candy didn't really love him. She was far more concerned with having _the_ Marshall Lee as her boyfriend, and he honestly couldn't have told you what they talked about when they were together.

As the Vampire-Prince wandered lost in thought, he lost track of his surroundings and found himself floating lazily past the refreshments near the window. As he would have drifted straight out the window, a voice arrested him, announcing, "it's customary for a man to get a drink for a lady when they're standing at the refreshments..." Marshall looked up in surprise–and a little honest _fear_ to find himself standing/floating in front of the Princess of the Engagement Ring Kingdom.

Standing there in all her glory, wearing a pale white gown over her pale-blue skin, the redhead cut quite the figure. She was slender, with relatively narrow hips, and she didn't have the knobs that Candy had. At the same time, with that skin-tight dress on, she looked sexy and inviting, and her face was stunning. "Uh, yeah," burbled Marshall. Turning to the table, he busied himself dishing up fire-wine cocktail (so spice).

While he worked, he found himself pondering what he could do with this. He was sort of _between_ right now. It was a safe bet that his fuck-toy from last night wouldn't be skipping out on her honeymoon to spend the night with him. It was crazy to think about it, but he was really tempted to try getting in the Princess's chaste little panties.

Turning around, he gave Her Highness a sweeping bow, offering up the glass with a twinkle in his eye and a smile. Suspiciously, the slim Princess took the glass, though she couldn't help hitting him with a zinger, saying, "I imagined Marceline wouldn't have raised her son any better than that..." Marshall quirked an eyebrow. He wasn't sure how his mom had come into this. _Except maybe the usual,_ he thought. His mom was on the outs with pretty much every freakin' Royal across the face of Ooo, having managed to piss figuratively (and sometimes very literally) into their Happy-O's on occasions too numerous to mention. It made life a drag sometimes because there were gigs that he simply _couldn't_ land, and it really irritated his manager.

"Well, let's not speak of her just now," said he. Smoothly, he explained, "I was lost in thought, Your Highness. It wasn't my intent to be so rude." Bending double, he kissed the Royal Signet. His words–and behavior–seemed to startle the Princess, as she stood there a moment seeming to ponder that. "No harm done then," said she at last. "Though I wonder what you were thinking of..." "Small matters," said he. "Business... That sort of thing." "You think of business at such a happy event," asked the Princess? With a shrug and a smile, Marshall replied, "I'm called upon to manage my own affairs... As you alluded, my mother has... _difficulties_ in that area..." "Poor boy," murmured the Princess. Taking a sip from the glass in her hand, she whistled. "Too spice," he asked? "No," she giggled. "I like it this way. A very good glass, Mr. Abadeer... Very good."

As Marshall watched, she slowly polished off the glass. When she had, he was waiting with another. Seeing that others wanted to reach the refreshments, the Princess took him by the hand and led him away from the table. Standing off to one side, they began to talk, with the older woman peppering him with questions about his concert-schedule and wondering aloud how he came to be here. "A personal matter," replied the half-vampire. The Princess nodded sagely. If she was to hazard a guess, he'd had a falling-out with his cunt of a mother and either been kicked out of the house or left on his own. As she polished off the wine in her glass, Marshall Lee suggested, "perhaps we can talk on the dance-floor..."

His handsome face was entirely guileless, though she scarcely believed that Marceline's son didn't have some sort of evil motivation there. Still, it was a wedding, and she wanted to dance. "Alright," agreed the Princess. Alighting on the floor, Marshall offered her his arm. When she had accepted, he walked her to the dance-floor, as he began planning and plotting his next moves. He didn't think she'd go quietly. If he wanted to get in her panties, he'd have to work at it a bit.

Unsurprisingly, Marshall found that his partner was graceful and light on her feet–just like a princess. As he twirled the older woman around the dance floor, he gave her a thorough look. He'd enjoyed banging the shit out of Davina, but he'd known going in that Candy's mom was getting older. Her tits were going to start heading south, and she was going to start packing on the pounds. He'd seen the crow's feet around Davina's eyes, and though it didn't really turn him off yet, he knew it would in the future. Now he checked out the pretty princess for similar signs that age was taking a toll.

She was of a similar age to his dad, which made her older than him by a good twenty years. Still, she was surprisingly well preserved, making him wonder if she was as immortal as Princess Bubblegum. She had nary a sign of wrinkles, and her body was firm against him as he danced with her. "So what can I call you," asked the rogue? Grinning, he added, "unless you want me to call you Engagement Ring Princess like my da... like Finn the Human..." She frowned in puzzlement for a moment, and he feared she'd caught that slip. He was going to have to be careful with that. He wasn't sure he was ready to have people know who his father was. After a long, long while, where she studied his face, seeming to try to peer inside his skull, she replied, "Constance. My name is Constance Leyton." "So pleased to make your acquaintance, Connie..."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21:

Patrick Petrikov came strolling into the arcade at half-past noon to a sight that had sort of fallen out of fashion in the last few years. Evil Otto's arcade had been a haven for the kids of Pat's generation. The arcade had sprung up to offer the delights of the Mo-factory from the wastelands along with ancient classics from back before the Mushroom War. Kids from all over the Candy Kingdom and beyond came here to compete in tournaments and contests of skill over machines that had been old when Marceline the Vampire Queen was a kid or shiny new machines that sprang from the mind of the mad genius that had created Finn the Human's robot companion.

Many was the coin Pat had squandered here, facing down Sleepy Sam the toad, trying to prevent him and his minions from stealing the sun. Rumor held that, if you got to be really good, Beemo would come out of his little cubby in the back and offer to let you play for real. Pat had more or less stopped coming when he reached high-school. He knew that Fionna and Star had played a little bit longer, but even they had sort of 'grown out of' the urge to come down here and squander their meager allowances. In any event, Beemo lived with them, so they had little need to waste their money.

 _So why's she here,_ thought the young wizard?

He'd been passing by on his way to stare longingly into Banana Man's used-truck lot down the street. The lot wasn't as busy during the weekdays, and his parents were usually out working, leaving him at home alone. When he got bored flipping channels while he pretended to study, he would go down and look at the cars and trucks there. There was a particularly sexy low-rider that came with a trick suspension to let it drive around in the wilds outside of town. Pat had been thinking of putting money down on it, but he had to make sure he could make the payments first. Of course his parents would insist he have money set aside to pay for damages in the event he hit somebody's cow or something out in the wilds. That was adding to the cost. Unlike Fionna and Star, he wasn't lucky enough to have an Alpha Dude like Finn the Human as his dad.

Striding up to the table where Fionna was playing, he found the blonde heroine with her face all but buried in the game. She was so focused, you could have slapped her on the ass, and she probably wouldn't have noticed. And that was a tempting bet to make considering how nice that ass was. Before Pat could say a word, Beemo tugged on his pant-leg. The young wizard glanced down to find the little robot shaking his head in warning. Now Pat really was curious.

"Pretty good score," he announced. Fi muttered something impolite. That made the curiosity grow. Fi not bragging about her score? Or talking tough? Something was wrong with the big, bad bunny. Question was, what? The wizard began kibbitzing, suggesting strategies that he knew were wrong for the game. Fionna mostly ignored him, in favor of muscling the machine, shoving it and slapping it–a definite no-no in Evil Otto's. You didn't slap the machines. Some of them hit back. Beemo continued to tug on Pat's pant-leg, and Pat continued to ignore him. He wanted to see just what was bugging her–and maybe see if the rumor was true.

The kibbitzing _was_ having an effect. As Pat watched–and chattered away at her–Fionna began to screw up. One by one, the monstrous aliens slaughtered her little Huntress Wizards. That was strange on its face. Fi almost always played as Finn the Human. Rarely she played as Billy the Giant. She never played one of the girl characters. Something really strange was going on. As the giant serpent on the screen consumed her last wizard, Fionna turned and started cussing Pat. Far from being intimidated, Pat replied, "haven't seen you in a while. How ye been?"

Face red, Fionna the Human subsided. After a moment, she opened her mouth to say something, then shut it again just as quickly. Yes, something was wrong with the bunny. Fi was never at a loss for words. Pat waited to see what was coming next. Finally the pretty blonde muttered, "I'm fine..." "Ok," said Pat as he turned to go. "Wait," said Fi. Pat stopped and turned to face her. "Uh... what brings you here," she asked? "You never used to come here." Pat chuckled. He had come here often. She just never noticed or cared. "Was passing by," said Pat. "Headed to the car lot... I just thought I'd say hi..." Highschool was over for Pat. He was off to college in the fall. He would be nose to the grindstone–either working to pay for school or going to school. While it was likely he might still see Fionna, what with their parents visiting each other so often, it wouldn't be often.

Fionna goggled at the news that Pat was going to college. She'd had no idea! "We gotta celebrate," the pretty blonde announced! Seizing him by the arm, Fi dragged the wizard down the street. As they walked, Fionna gushed congratulations. She was excited to see him escape Toffee High! Of course that led into her own bitterness about being stuck there another year. It would be just her and Star. "Shoko's mom says she has to move on. Like this year," said the adventuress! "Like can you believe it! She doesn't get to even be a kid!"

The two strode up to the door of Smothers, and Fionna dragged him inside, declaring, "a Big Everything Platter for my bro, here!" She dragged Pat to her favorite table like she was dealing with a celebrity, and every face there was watching when they sat down. For a moment, Pat sort of felt like an Alpha Dude, with a pretty girl on his arm and every Beta Dude staring at him in jealousy. _So enjoy it while you have it,_ thought Patrick Petrikov.

Elsewhere, Boniface Bubblegum found himself struggling under a mound of packages as his betrothed got her shop on. She had proclaimed that morning that she was _out_ of clothing and insisted he show her around the shopping district. Bon had assumed she'd only come down with the small selection of outfits he'd seen, and the mortified young man had rushed to have his vehicle brought around. He'd immediately driven his lady down to be custom-measured at Lollipop Lady's boutique.

He had no idea what he was in for.

Bon found himself in possession of both the bags and the bills as his lady walked in and out of every store in the district. The weight of it all took an entire two inches of ride-height out of his truck's suspension. He'd never seen the like. Of course, Shoko was a closet tomboy, and his mother no longer found the time. As the clock tolled for noon, Frenchie finally took a break, suggesting they have lunch. A frazzled Bon followed her to the car, hauling the latest pile. Frenchie climbed into the passenger seat, while her beau stuffed her acquisitions into the back. Squeezing the door shut again, Bon scooted around to the driver's door and slipped behind the wheel.

Almost before he had snapped the safety harness in place, French Toast seized his arm and lay her head on his shoulder. He felt instantly at ease again. He was with his lady. All was right with the world. "Where d'you want to go," he asked? Snuggling against him, the pretty teen mommy replied, "whatever you want, honey, as long as it's good and close. I'm starving..." Smiling, Bon replied, "I know a nice casual place..." He put the truck in gear and set off.

At their destination, Pat and Fionna were swapping stories. The pretty blonde was telling him about the wilderness adventure she'd had with her sister and big brother. Typical Fi, she was bragging nonstop. It was she that vanquished the goo-worm by cutting out it's guts. And she'd graciously shared the treasure in its stomach. "Stomach," Pat queried? "Yeah," Fionna replied, "everybody knows that goo-worms have treasure in their stomachs!" It was only then that Patrick realized just how the bunny _got_ the treasure she'd so willingly shared. " _Ewww_ ," howled Pat! "Gross!" Which of course made the bunny roar laughter. It was the same thing her cousin and sister said!

That led to Patrick teasing her about not wanting to handle bugs in bio class the previous year. Slicking back her hair, the bunny retorted, "smoke-bugs ain't got treasure... They're just nasty! And they make your hands stink..." Patrick mimicked the face she was making, which made her laugh, and in moments they were both talking about 'old times'–all the memories they had from Toffee High. Patrick found he was actually going to miss the place. In spite of being a Beta-Dude in an Alpha world, he'd had good times, and he got caught up in reminiscing.

Fionna was howling laughter–they both were–and it was just like every other time Pat had spent time with the pretty blond girl. They were having a blast, and, with no Alpha-Dudes around, she was heavily invested in _him_. She was having a good time with Pat, and she didn't even seem to be thinking about Bubba Bubblegum or Marshall Lee Abadeer. If there was a time for Pat to act–to reach for the brass-ring–this was it.

And he hesitated.

As Fionna sat there, eyes a little wet from laughing so hard, thoughts whirled around in Pat's head. What if she laughed at him? What if she was still pining for Bubba? He knew from things his parents had said that Fionna and Bubba were no longer a thing, but it was hard for a girl to change course like that. Especially when it was stubborn Fionna Mertens, who'd been chasing Bubba Bubblegum for most of her life.

And then there was his commitment to his knew lifestyle. He was a DGTOW. He was supposed to be going his own way, letting the chips fall where they may. He wasn't supposed to be sniffing after the latest 'it-girl' at school and worrying over what she thought about him. He was supposed to gut it out and walk away–let her cry over _him_.

Hormones won out, though. Fi was the girl he'd been in love and lust with since he was in grade-school. If there was even a remote chance, he couldn't help but pursue it. Taking a deep breath, Pat opened his mouth to ask his hot bunny-girl out on a date. Just as he would have spoken, Fi, who was looking past him, squealed, "Bubba!" Just like that, she was out of her seat. Brushing past him, the pretty blonde threw herself on Boniface Bubblegum in spite of his beautiful companion.

Boniface felt heat come to his face. He hadn't thought this through. The last time he'd seen his sister, Fionna had been standing on the balcony at his home crying her eyes out over _him_! He'd... left her. When Frenchie kissed him, he'd forgotten all about his sister and the unpleasant conversation they'd been having. He'd barely even noticed when she'd run off, and he hadn't tried to call or talk to her since.

More to the point, his mind had been on French Toast. He hadn't given any thought to running into Fi here, when this was her favorite place to go. How had he forgotten that? It was mortifying to be here with 'the other woman' when he hadn't been able to give his former 'girlfriend' some kind of closure. At the same time, he was wondering what she was doing here with Pat. Part of him hoped she was moving on, while another part of him–jealous over what somebody was doing with _his_ girlfriend–was a little angry. His feelings for Fi were just as complicated as hers for him. Gaining calm over his seething emotions, Bon hugged his sister–gingerly at first, then with increasing strength.

Stepping back, Fionna asked, "what's got you down here? Pat and I were just having lunch..." Bubba flinched at that. Then, as he realized that his reactions to Fi would matter a lot to Frenchie, he told his former-girlfriend, "Princess French Toast wanted to go shopping and buy a few things. She's staying with us for a little while before returning home..." Taking his betrothed's hand, Bubba drew her forward. French Toast gave the blond girl a smile, though Bubba and Pat could both smell the jealousy. Patrick couldn't help but think that, pretty as this girl was, Bubba was trading down. He couldn't help wondering why it was that Bonnie would make Bubba dump Fi.

Of course Bonnie had dumped on Fi's dad too, so there was that. The one thread those two incidents had in common? Fi and her dad were both dumb as a box of rocks. _Or rather, she has ADHD,_ thought Patrick. Just like her dad, Fionna had trouble staying focused long enough to get things to stick between her ears. Both Fi and her father had severe difficulties with learning, and Patrick could imagine that Bonnie, who was a genius among geniuses wouldn't want her hyper-intelligent son dealing with that. In any event, it was clear that Bubba and Fi were no longer dating. Question was, what did that mean for Patrick? There was a way he could find out.

"Hey," said the wizard. "Why don't you both join us?" While they had mostly finished lunch, they didn't have to go yet. Uncertainly, Bubba said, "if it's no trouble..." Fi grabbed his arm and half-dragged him to the table, inadvertently dragging French Toast with him.

At the table, Fi moved to the seat next to Patrick, moving her plates to their side of the table. Drawing French-Toast's seat–something he'd never done for Fionna–Bon made sure his betrothed was seated before settling into the seat opposite his sister. He knew the minute his butt hit the seat that he'd gone wrong, and he knew why. Fi's face was frozen over in a rictus of anger. It didn't matter that she typically laughed at him for trying to draw her chair. It didn't matter that Fionna Mertens was a liberated, modern girl who went adventuring. He'd basically just rubbed her face in the fact that he was dating somebody else and that maybe, just maybe, he cared more about Frenchie than he had about _her_.

Frenchie was already looking at the menu. She was hungry for some reason. She'd been really hungry since she'd come here. Maybe it was all the time they spent roaming the kingdom–or maybe it was all the time they spent making love–but she was famished every day! "Darling," she asked, "what's good?" Turning his attention to his betrothed, Bon replied, "the mussels are good. I usually have them with the baked ziti and sauce." Smothers smothered their mussels in noodles and sauce. "Alright," said she. "I'll take that and a steak." Patrick goggled! This girl was going to eat like a horse! It scarcely occurred to him that Fi was in the middle of a meal that was just as big.

"So," said Frenchie, "what passes for fun in these parts?" "Adventuring," replied Fi. At the Royal's quirked eyebrow, Patrick explained, "Fionna goes adventuring. Sometimes she lets Bubba and I help..." Which was too funny for the breakfast beauty, though Patrick got the impression she wasn't laughing _with_ them. "My mother thinks anybody who goes out into the wastes willingly is a fool," opined the breakfast person. "Your mom is boring," retorted Fionna. "That's where all the excitement is!" Frenchie glared at her, forcing Bon to intervene before his old girlfriend and new girlfriend tore each other to pieces.

Calmly, Bon said, "darling, here in the Candy Kingdom, we find that there are many valuable lessons we can learn from the lost civilizations. People like Fionna provide a valuable service by visiting ancient sites and bringing back knowledge..." Fionna didn't understand half of what he said, but the whole 'valuable service' piece made her blush and grin all at once. Expounding on that idea, Bon began to explain all the wonderful things that Finn the Human had found for his mother out in the wastes before becoming Captain of the Guard.

Frenchie listened, though it was clear to Patrick that she was filing all that away. Likely she would be asking the Candy Prince just how he knew Fionna. "So how do you know Bon," asked Patrick? With a shrug, the breakfast-cutie replied, "he's my betrothed. Isn't that right, honey?" She gave Bon a sweet kiss on the cheek. Blushing, Bon gave Fionna a nervous smile. Fionna said, "well, I hope you have more luck with that than I had..." "What does that mean," demanded French-Toast? With a shrug, Fionna said, "well, his mom could tell you about that..." Bon interrupted with, "well why don't I see what's keeping lunch...?"

Patrick said, "I think I see the waitress coming now..." The by-play amused him a little. Alpha-Dude was a Beta-Dude when it came to what his mom wanted. Smugly, Frenchie said, "his mother put our engagement together and introduced us..." She was all smiles about that, which had Fionna wanting to pluck her eyes out. Or her teeth. The pretty blonde wasn't particular which, just so long as it hurt a lot. "I'm sure it'll be fine," muttered Fionna. Bon tried again to change topics, this time asking Patrick how things were going in his life. "Graduated," said Pat. "Off to college now." "You seem a bright fellow," opined Frenchie. "You already have a boyfriend," growled Fionna. That was music to Patrick's ears. She sounded so... _possessive_. It brought a smile to his face.

Momentarily the waitress was laying hot plates in front of the two newcomers. Fionna returned to her lunch, and Pat returned to his. For several minutes, the foursome sat eating, with both young men surprised at how much the two girls could put away. Fi ate like a horse, which was shocking. It amazed Patrick to think that she was as skinny as she was. _Maybe it all goes to her boobies,_ he thought. For almost as long as he'd known Fi, those were two of her defining assets.

Patrick and Bon chatted while they watched the two girls polish off lunch, talking about what Pat could expect from college–at least as far as Bon knew, since he'd only gone a year. Pat found it was about as depressing as he was expecting. His mother was expecting him to be like his dad–blitz through in a couple years and graduate. Get out on your own and make something of yourself. "Don't see why you have to go for that," rumbled Fi. "You're a wizard! You're already good at that. You can make plenty of dosh smashing dungeons n'stuff." "Why would he accept such a plebian life," retorted Frenchie? "He's not some muscle-bound simpleton!"

It took a moment.

Time just sort of stood still, with Bubba Bubblegum holding his breath. Though she had trouble learning–and _knew_ it–you didn't just call Fionna an idiot. Patrick had seen a couple of black eyes come out of that. Just before she would have gone across the table–and maybe landed in the dungeon, Patrick grabbed her hand. Softly, Patrick told the younger teen, "I respect people who have to work. Not everybody's cut out to be an ivory-tower scholar, and the Kingdoms of Ooo aren't so far out of the dark-ages that we can pretend we don't need _physical_ laborers." He could _feel_ Fi calm down. Indeed, Bubba let out a sigh of relief.

Calmly, Fionna extricated her hand from his. "I'mm'a go t'the girl's room," murmured the pretty blonde. Patrick watched her go. Strangely she glanced back at him as she made her way across the room. Just when it seemed things might calm down, French-Toast suddenly stood up, announcing, "I really need to go too..." Bon winced at the coming fireworks, but there was little he could do. They couldn't follow them into the lady's toilet.

As Bon and Patrick pondered the impending fireworks, Fionna sat on the can pondering the direction her life was going. She'd been looking forward to this summer. She had hoped–dreamed–to be married. Now she had not only had her dream squashed, but she'd even lost her boyfriend! And to get slammed as a dummy by his new girl?! That was the _worst_! She was suddenly sorry she'd let Pat invite them to sit down for lunch. They'd been having fun. Then Bubba brings his cunt of a girlfriend in.

Sitting on the toilet was bringing her nothing, though. It was time to go face the music. Wiping up, the blonde bombshell rose, flushed, and headed out. She was at the sink, washing her hands when her mortal enemy approached. "Whaddya want," muttered Fionna? "To say a few things that need to be said," said the pretty breakfast treat. Nodding, Fionna replied, "spit it." Leaning against the countertop, French Toast said, "you need to understand, Fionna the Human. I'm engaged to Bon... That's just the way it is. Our parents decided that..." "Just like that, huh," growled Fionna?! "To hell with everybody else and what _we_ think?!"

She looked moments away from violence, and Frenchie felt a thrill of fear. She was a violent little hussy. "Yes," retorted the princess. "Just like that. That's the way it is when your life doesn't really belong to you..." "W-what does that mean," stammered the blonde?! "It means that my future husband and I were born to a life of limited choices," replied Frenchie. "Everybody's got choices," snarled Fionna! "It's... We can do anything we set our minds too!" Frenchie rolled her eyes. Coolly, she said, "our parents need us to be married, and so we'll be married. I didn't choose this, but I've chosen to accept it. I've even come to love him very much. He's a wonderful man, and I'm lucky to have him. I want..."

"T'heck with what _you_ want," growled Fionna! "Bubba doesn't belong to you! He's a person, not a prize! I don't give a damn what Bonnie Bubblebutt wants!" Jabbing a finger in Fionna's face, she said, "I'm giving you a chance, Fionna. I want us to be friends. I want us to work this out. I want to have you at our wedding, but if you insist on behaving this way... Well, I won't bother. One last thing. Never call my husband 'Bubba' again. He _hates_ that name. He's not a fucking character in a fanfic."

Fionna's mouth came open in horror. It wasn't the cold words. It wasn't this bitch claiming _her_ boyfriend as a husband. It wasn't even the absolute _certainty_ with which she spoke about the coming wedding. The idea that Bubba, her sweet Bubba, _hated_ the name she'd been calling him all their lives... Horrified, Fionna fled the bathroom.

Outside, Patrick looked up in startlement to find Fi coming across the room looking wounded to her heart and moments from tears. Fi strode up to the table, announcing, "we're goin'..." "B-but," stammered the wizard. "We're goin'," muttered the blonde, as she wiped away a tear. Bon felt a sliver of pain as he realized that his beloved had just said something awful to Fi. Patrick asked, "what's wrong?" "I wanna' go," growled the blonde! Irritated himself now, Patrick fired back with, "not until you tell me _why_. You can't just storm out here and tell me I have to go!" "Fine," snarled Fionna! "Stay here with these two buttheads!" She jerked out her wallet and threw some cash on the table. Without a further word, the pretty blonde stormed out, leaving Patrick staring after her in shock. That was hardly the outcome he'd been expecting.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22:

She was a sight to behold. Sitting there at the little table in a corner of Bon's room, putting on her face, Frenchie was a sight to stir the boin loins. The pair had given up all pretense of sleeping in separate beds in separate quarters so he got to wake up to this sight every day. Bon's mother rarely came home and, like as not, headed right back to the Vault again. He thought things were going well enough. Food was flowing again. Still, his mother continued to work on whatever it was that she was doing. Bon didn't sweat it. He got to see Frenchie as much as he wished.

Seeing that he was awake, French-Toast gave him a sweet smile and said, "going out, honey. Since this is going to be home some day, I thought I might as well..." Bon knew that his beautiful betrothed was a little bored. He was often busy dealing with the minor crises that cropped up while his mom was in the lab, and he couldn't be with her. Sliding out of bed, he came over and knelt beside her. Giving his lady a hug and kiss, he said, "Peps can drive you..." Frenchie only had her learner's permit. She wasn't clear to drive on her own yet. Thanking him, the breakfast beauty gave him a searing kiss. Rising, he went and got in the shower. When he returned, his beloved was gone.

Bon got himself dressed and headed out to work. He was running more than a little late. He had been out dancing with Frenchie last night, and they'd completely lost track of the time. Judging by the sun, they had been abed until nearly noon, and he imagined his mother had left word to leave them be. She was very much set on him dating Frenchie, and, for once, their goals were aligned because Bon very much wanted to date the beautiful breakfast-person. Whistling a tune, he found himself hoping that Fionna could find somebody who would love her the way Frenchie loved him. Dressed in an impeccable blue suit, the pink hero headed out to work. Today's agenda had him looking in on the Infrastructure Bureau. There were roads needing to be built and bridges to be repaired, and his mother wanted the work done before the winter snows came to slow things down.

Two-hundred miles away in Chocago, Bon's father sat in a seedy bar on the south side of the city, watching the world go by. He had come dressed down without his usual weapons to sort of disguise who he was and what he was doing, and he'd worn a heavy brown cloak besides. The gumdrop woman who'd met him in the capitol had told him that the answers he was looking for could be found here. Chocago was the banking center of the kingdom. All the men with money had moved out here following the establishment of the colony, and they'd been busy making money and using it to finance dirty dealings ever since. They were notoriously corrupt and hopelessly greedy, and they were always looking for leverage to make Bonnie do things they wanted. It stood to reason that they might be behind James and his antics.

The man across the room just now was as out of place as Finn in this bar, maybe more so. He was dressed in suit and tie, looking 'dapper' as Simone would have said it. Compared to the people Finn had found here–working-class stiffs who came here after business hours to throw darts, shoot pool, and swill bark-beer–he was far better dressed, and his suit was tailored to his oddball, sandwich-cookie shape. Some ways he reminded Finn of Peppermint Butler.

The sandwich cookie had come in part way through Finn's vigil, and he'd settled at the end of the bar and begun chatting with a string of shady-looking customers across the day. Finn had even seen money change hands a couple of times. Body-language showed that this man had power over his friends. They were clearly afraid of him. Finn watched and listened as those people came in dribs and drabs, and he did his best to memorize their faces for later. Now, with a distant bell tolling to announce that it was noon, the mark rose and headed for the door. Finn waited a few moments before following.

Outside, he scanned the area and spotted the mark heading up the street. He didn't walk fast. He might have been taking a stroll in spite of the fact that he was so out of place in this neighborhood. Finn tried to be just as casual as he stepped off to follow. Eyes followed the hero as he made his way up the street. He'd been tempted on more than one occasion to ask E for a spell to disguise him. Usually she would tell him to get off his ass and learn magic, so he rarely bothered anymore. He had a block there–a deep-seated blind-spot–that he had been almost desperate to overcome a couple of times over the last ten years.

He was torn. He wanted to experience growing old with Simone. At the same time, he wanted to live a good long time with Emeraude. It was complicated, and anyone who knew him could tell you that Finn didn't handle complicated very well. With magic off the table, he just had to be a little more careful. Taking careful note of the watchers and what they were doing, the hero continued his pursuit of the mark.

The candy-person led Finn down the street for several blocks. The day was cool in spite of the season, and Finn easily kept up. The little guy was short enough that his strides weren't very long, making it easy for the big man to hang on his tail. Finn couldn't help noticing that he was completely at ease, making the hero wonder if he really might be some kind of big crime boss. He certainly didn't seem to care about the hoods across the street who were eyeing his clothes. Finally the mark rounded a corner and went straight across the street to a rather snazzy limousine. Finn stopped at the corner and waited while he scoped out what was going on with a pair of binoculars.

The mark went up to the limo, spent a few minutes walking around it–cleaning it with a rag he'd taken out of his pocket–and then jumped in the front seat, suggesting that he didn't own it. _Henchman,_ thought Finn. It was entirely possible that this guy was a high-level henchman for somebody more important. Question was, who was in the back of the car? Finn didn't have any way to stop the car and no reason, so he had to watch as the car drove off down the street. Still, he did memorize the registration plate. If nothing else, he would find out who it was registered to.

Reaching for his phone, he dialed up Spike. Their problem child probably had oodles of money. He would have to be careful. When Spike answered, Finn opened with, "hey, buddy, need you to run a tag for me. Number CME-132. Yeah, it's urgent. I think I got a line on James's life-line." Spike was johnny-on-the-spot with the address that corresponded to that number. He was glad to do anything that would shut James down. Thanking him, Finn hung up. Next he dialed Simone, letting her know he wouldn't be home tonight. Then it was time to head across town to see what he could find out.

Back at his home, Patrick Petrikov stood staring up at the treehouse with trepidation. Why was he _here_? It wasn't like Fionna even liked him. He was that doofus that just kinda' hung around. She would never love him. Not really. If he was rich, maybe he could get notice, but there would always be hot dudes who were more attractive or Alpha Dudes richer than he. So why bother coming here? Deep inside, he knew the answer. He'd wanted this seemingly his whole life. The pretty blonde bunny-girl had her hooks deep in his soul, and she hardly knew it. Shaking himself and muttering curses, he went up the door and knocked.

Fionna was alone in the house when the knock came. She'd been idly bouncing a ball against the wall and cursing life. Startled by the sound of a visitor come calling, she got up to go see who it was. Her mothers were working. Both seemed far too wrapped up with work now to have time for _her_. Her dad was off on a mission, and her brother was holding down the fort in town. Even Star had somewhere to be. She was burning up the cash-register at the hardware store, doing her best to earn her way to a truck by the end of the summer. Fionna had never felt more alone than she felt now.

At least she had been.

Wearing a frown of puzzlement, the pretty blonde opened the door to find Patrick Petrikov on her doorstep. She found her face going hot as she realized she'd shouted at him for something that wasn't really his fault and left him at Smother's. "H-hi, Patrick," stammered the bunny. "Hi, Fi," said Patrick. Reaching into his pocket, he took out her school ID and said, "you dropped this." Fionna flushed. She'd been wondering what had happened to that. "Thanks," she burbled. Taking the little card, she stepped aside, saying, "c'mon in..." Patrick was happy to oblige her. He waited for her to shut the door, then followed her up the stairs. Strangely, he never got tired of watching that wiggling butt.

Arriving in the Mertens family's living room, the young man looked around him, finding the place had changed little. It had been more than a year since he'd last been here. He'd gotten increasingly involved in school when they reached Toffee High. He just didn't get to hang out with his friends anymore. That, coupled with Fionna's obsession with Bubba Bubblegum, had put paid to Patrick's ambition of winning her heart. Honestly, looking back, it had seemed like she always paid more attention to Bubba than anybody else, and he had no idea why.

Fionna, acting like a good little hostess, asked, "soda? We got Very Berry." "Sure," replied Patrick. "Thanks." As Fi retrieved a can from the fridge, she asked him how he was doing. "Great," replied the wizard. This was more than a little awkward. As she came back across the room, he found himself studying her face. Looking at those fine features, he saw her mom–the person his father had _imagined_ in loneliness and boredom. Strangely, Fionna actually blushed. It was almost as though she didn't realize she was a knockout.

As he took the can from her, he felt a jolt of something. Maybe it was the static charge from her walking across the rough bearskin rug in her slippers. Maybe it was something else, but Patrick found himself committing to pushing this. He was going to find out what was going on with Fi and Bubba, and he was maybe going to make Fi his own. Glancing away, Fi said, "w-we could play Beemo if you want? Beemo's dad sent him a new program! It's awesome!" Coolly–he tried to sound cool–Patrick replied, "sure. I've got some time." Fionna dragged him over to the couch and, after searching around for a while, she began calling for Beemo and whistling. "He's probably doing something weird again," muttered the pretty blonde. She'd cussed him for using her toothbrush to wash himself.

After a long few minutes, the living video-game came out from a cubby. Strolling up to the table, he greeted Patrick with, "hey, Pat!" "Hi, Beemo," replied the wizard. "Hey, FiFi," laughed Beemo. Menacing him with her fist, Fionna replied, "you better not be doing weird shit with my stuff again!" Beemo gave her an entirely disingenuous smile. It would be many months before she found the hammock he/it had made out of a box of her tampons. In the now, Beemo asked, "wanna' play Super Turkey Punchout?" The distraction worked, with Patrick and Fionna sitting down side-by-side on the couch.

Those few minutes turned into an hour. The hour turned into four. Part way through, Fionna got up and made them up some snacks. Munching on cold-cuts–turkey ironically–Patrick found himself edging closer and closer until they were leg-against-leg. Laughing and trash-talking, Fionna was delivering a severe butt-kicking. And Patrick scarcely cared. She could have spawn-killed him a hundred times, and it wouldn't have mattered. The bunny was having a good time. With him.

In the middle of owning him at Super Turkey Punchout, Fi turned to Patrick and said, "I'm sorry I walked out on you like that..." Pat had been holding his own for a minute there, and at first he wasn't sure she wasn't using some ploy to make him lose. When he glanced over, he found her face to be a study in anguish. Her lip trembled, and she looked like she would start crying at any moment. It was so un-Fionna-like that he all but dropped the controller.

A part of him just knew that she was turning on emotional-tampon mode, and that he was headed towards the friend-zone. The other part of him–the piece who'd been friends with Fi forever–realized that she was in terrible pain. So was he supposed to tell her to fuck off because he was a cold, heartless DGTOW dude? Or did he offer her some support because she'd saved his butt more than a few times?

Reaching out, he hugged the blonde bunny, letting her cry on his shoulder. "I... shouldn't have gotten sore about it," rumbled Pat. "I... we were having fun, and I got mad when you wanted to leave... I didn't understand what that was doing to you." "I should have said something," rumbled Fi. "When you asked them to join us, I should have said no." They were at another inflection point. This was the time he should be pushing. He should be pressing the advantage to make her his–to finally take her away from Bubba. As he hesitated–as he sat there doing some soul-searching–a knocking at the door interrupted their moment. He almost found himself spitting curses.

Fi drew back from him, and her eyes seemed to say, 'hold that thought'. Rising, she said, "probably Glob's Oathkeepers or something. I'll chase 'em off." She slid her feet into a pair of cute bunny-slippers and headed downstairs to the door. As he watched her go, Pat found himself cursing his cowardice. He was a complete idiot! What the fuck was he _doing_ here?! Perfect setup. He should be in her pants by now!

Down at the door, Fi called out to the person on the far side, as her hand idly flicked the razor-sharp knife she'd had in her pocket. Some joker had once dared to try molesting the kids at the house until Billy kicked him in the boin-loins so hard he fell over and Fi cut all the clothes off of him with her knife. They'd left him down on the road naked and called the Banana Guards. Her stepmom said he had become best friends with a rather ugly gingerbread man in prison. "It's me," came the response in a very familiar voice. Fionna opened the door to find her ex-boyfriend/newly-discovered brother on the far side.

"Bon," rumbled Fionna. Bon winced. Frenchie had told him about the unpleasant conversation she'd had with Fionna in the lady's room. He felt bad about that. At the same time, they had needed the change. He didn't like being 'Bubba'. He wasn't a character in a fanfic. He was a person, and he wanted to be treated that way. Stepping aside, the beautiful warrior-girl let her little brother into her home. Shutting the door, she said, "c'mon up. We were playing Beemo." We. The young prince frowned.

Fionna seemed in a strangely pleasant mood as she climbed the stairs with Bubba behind her. A strange, twisted corner of his mind couldn't really help comparing Fi's ass to Frenchie's. He loved his fiancé, but he'd be lieing if he didn't admit that his sister was much prettier. Fi was a knockout. _So whoever ends up with her will be a lucky, lucky guy,_ thought the young princeling. Shaking off those thoughts, he brought himself back to the ugly topic at hand.

"I need your help, Fi," said he, as they came out in the Mertens clan's living room. "Sure, Bon," said Fi. Pat was there on the couch, and his eyes showed hints of the same jealousy Bon had seen at the soda-shop. It appeared that _whoever ends up with her_ was going to be Pat. He was intruding. His sister was moving on with her life, and he was getting in the way. At the same time, he needed Fi's help. Honestly, he needed Patrick's too.

Striding toward his rival, Bon brought out the note that had been delivered to his office. "I... that is...," stammered the young heir. Seeing his distress, Patrick said, "take it easy, Bubba. What's up?" Flushing at the reminder, Bon said, "Princess French-Toast has been abducted. Game forgotten, Patrick was on his feet. Fi spun around to face him, stammering out, " _what_?!" Holding out the message, Bon explained, "I-I got this message..." "How'd this happen," asked Patrick? "What did you see?" "I-I wasn't there," Bon admitted. "You were _working_ ," muttered Fi?! It was a sore point from when _they_ started dating. Bon worked too much.

Before they started bickering, Patrick asked to see the note. Scanning the page, he found a fairly boiler-plate ransom demand. We got the girl. Don't talk to the cops. What did surprise was the request that they go to Thief City. "That's real bad news," murmured Pat. Only the foolish went to Thief City. "Right," said Fionna. Walking over to the coat rack by the stairs, she picked up her pack and started rummaging through it. Puzzled, Patrick asked her what she was doing. Decisively the big, bad bunny said, "going on a rescue. D'jou bring your thing-a-ma-whatsis?" At Patrick's puzzled frown, Bon said, "I think she means your Instrument." Pat was never without it. "Good," said Fionna. "We're gonna need firepower..." Frowning in alarm, Pat asked, "you're not actually _going_ to Thief City?!" Drawing out her new sword, Fi reminded him, "Bon can't go to my dad. It's gotta' be us... I'mm'a go get the truck ready. You guys put together some food." They didn't have much time.

Patrick found himself torn. This was dangerous. This was very dangerous. It wasn't like bashing dungeon-monsters. At the same time he could see Fi was set on this. More to the point, Bubba was his friend. If he _didn't_ help, what was the prince going to do? "Ok," said Patrick. "We need to leave a message so people know where we went and why..." At Bubba's look of alarm, he said, "don't worry, Bubba. We're not leaving it here. We're leaving it with my folks. That way they can tell Finn when we're already at Thief City." Bubba saw now, and he nodded. That could work. "Alright," said Fionna. "Downstairs in five." As she headed for the stairs, Bon headed for the kitchen to whip up some rations to take with them.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23:

Finn checked the address one more time. The house– _estate_ –in front of him fit with the expensive eight-wheeler he'd seen the cookie get into. The property around that house was enormous, reminding him a lot of the grasslands around the treehouse before the Candy Kingdom grew up. The whole of it made the Captain of the Guard more than a little nervous. The person inside was a Big. Bonnie had been forced to be at least a little cautious when dealing with the money the kingdom's Bigs had on hand. Finn had been forced to publicly apologize for the last one he'd arrested. _So it's in and out, Finn,_ he told himself. He was going alone, so he could keep this off the books if he needed to. He'd even left the Finn-Sword in his office, just in case. So now it was time to get on with it.

Finn had already scoped out the lay of the land. There were few guards. Most of those had gone inside–likely to watch the Ooo-Cup Soccer Matches. That gave him a window of opportunity. Checking the address one more time, more to convince himself to move than anything, Finn went slipping across to the blind spot he'd found in the video cameras' coverage. Once there, the big man got small while he listened to the sounds from inside the walls. While he listened, he looked the wall over for handholds. The stone was rough and crumbly, offering good purchase for his ninja claws. Comfortable now, Finn began his climb, slipping over the wall and dropping into the bushes on the far side.

Once over the walls, Finn squatted in the shadows, listening for signs he'd been seen. Again nothing came to his ears. The house ahead of him was strangely dark and quiet, which ratcheted up his worry a couple notches. Slipping up to a side door, he put his ear to the wooden panels and listened. Still he heard nothing. Now he brought out his lockpicks. As he pondered his next move, his hands got to grips with the door's two locks. It took a while. The locks were really good–at the edge of his skill–and he considered giving up and bashing the door a couple of times. Finally, with an almost-silent click, the door gave way.

Pocketing the picks, the hero slipped into the cool darkness and shut the door behind him. This was where Bonnie's cool ninja-glasses–the ones that let him see in the dark–came in handy, as step by careful step he padded down the hall, listening for signs that the guards were on to him. One step at a time, he crept along, cringing each time he stepped on a squeaky board or bumped something in the dark.

Hundreds of miles to the south, Marshall Lee, the son he hadn't known he had, stood talking to the _charming_ citizens of Engagement Ring Kingdom. These were the sorts of losers that his mother absolutely despised, and Marshall couldn't honestly blame her. That was one thing they had in common–a distinct lack of patience for upper-crusty booze-heads who thought too highly of themselves. The Vampire Prince had been here for hours, circulating through the crowds, hurling veiled insults that made some laugh and others cringe, and generally making a nuisance of himself. He was taking outrageous advantage of their Princess's hospitality, swilling liquor by the glass, bashing her guests behind their backs and even to their faces, and just generally being a jerk.

The Princess herself had remained elusive. Marshall had given little thought to it. She'd spit some game when they were dancing at the Leclerc's wedding, but he'd seen no sign that she could or would back it up. Honestly? He didn't think she dared. She was princess of a kingdom that valued marriage and fidelity above everything else. Dudes were supposed to tie themselves down and never even consider looking at another woman. Women were supposed to save it until they had the ring on their finger and were headed back down the aisle to the limousine. And their Princess? Well, she better be a virgin among virgins.

Just now the dhampir was entertaining a pack of squealing, giggling little girls. At least they might as well have been, even if they were all in their twenties. They all giggled when they talked, and it was annoying the shit out of Marshall, even if he was the cause. The one on the left was stacked, reminding him of his half-sister, Fionna. He wouldn't have minded banging the shit out of her, and he'd sort of zeroed in on her as the one he was going home with tonight. The short one in the middle was plain, but her eyes said she was the closet-slutty type who might put out if you pushed the right buttons. _Decisions, decisions,_ thought the anti-hero. _What does my boner want tonight? Blonde or Brunette._

A sudden change in the atmosphere announced that the situation had just changed. All five girls suddenly grew very quiet–not one giggle–and all were focused on him, or rather what was behind him. Marshall knew it was the princess even before she spoke. What else could explain the change? Playing it cool, he continued to talk at the pretty young things until the older woman announced herself. After all, he was a prince too.

"Well, _hello_ , Marshall Lee," announced Engagement Ring Princess. "Hello, Connie," replied Marshall in his deep, melodious voice as he turned to face her. "I..." There had been a salacious comment on his tongue–something about her persistent beauty meant to both flatter and insult her all at the same time. He was a jerk. It was what it was. It never stopped girls from wanting to ride his johnson. Instead of uttering those cruel words, he found himself gaping at the sight he was presented with.

Connie had come to the party dressed in a gown that was much like her usual outfit. Hip-hugging and tight, it was made of a soft satiny material in an egg-shell white that contrasted marvelously with her pale blue skin. That was where the similarities ended. As he stared, open-mouthed, the sexy Royal twirled for his inspection, showing off the details of that daring dress.

The bodice had been replaced with an expanse of lace covering her perky little boobies and revealing her creamy skin in all its glory. Beneath that, a heart-shaped expanse of lace covered her pussy, barely hiding her snatch from the gaze of anyone who might have wanted to look. In back, the scoop-back of the dress plunged down to her round ass, which was covered with a heart-shaped swath of purple lace. The lace in back was all but transparent, and it was clear to Marshall that she wasn't wearing any panties. His jaw hung, as she said, "I see you like it."

It was the understatement of the year. His skinny pants felt like they were digging into his pecker and cutting off his circulation. The young man instantly forgot about the young women he'd been flirting with. Strangely enough, it was now _Connie_ he wanted to bone. "Care to dance, Your Highness," asked the half-breed? "Love to," replied Constance. Wearing a devilish smile, he led his beautiful host to the dance-floor.

Marshall took the slim beauty's hand and led her to the dance-floor–the place where they'd sort of discovered each other. Once there, he stepped back and gave her a mocking little bow. Then Vampire Prince began to twirl the beautiful older woman around the room as a hundred envious eyes watched them dance. Some envied him. Most envied _her_. She was pushing forty and _she_ was with Ooo's new most-eligible bachelor. Connie was delighted. She'd missed out on the Finn sweepstakes, and she really could have strangled the Ice King. At the same time, she would have been more than happy with Marshall. On the dhampir's side, he'd begun to fantasize about something naughty. Every princess on Ooo had wanted to marry Finn the Human. Finn, who was his dad. This chick was no exception. It greatly amused Marshall to consider railing one of the girl's his dad might have screwed.

The two danced for several minutes that way, swaying with the beat, oblivious to the faces around them. Marshall was considering his next move when the song changed, the beat dropped to something low and thumping with bass, and people around them started dancing close. With a devilish grin, he drew the beautiful Princess close, letting her feel all the hardness of his beautiful young body. Constance didn't hesitate to do just that, letting her hands touch him all over, as she felt the strong, _hard_ muscle under his clothes.

Marceline's son was a beautiful young man, and, did she follow that slip-of-the-tongue, she could see why. His father had been a tasty treat as a teen, and he'd grown into a man with a body to die for. Constance knew this was very dangerous. She had to maintain decorum, even if she had come to absolutely _detest_ her people's traditions. It was part an parcel of how she had come to be so thoroughly miserable over the years of her life.

Always a bride's-maid. Never a bride. That was what they said about her when her back was turned. But guys weren't like they used to be, and she was competing with girls who were much younger. She'd gotten caught up enjoying life, and she'd spent far too much time on business when she got older. Time had slipped through her fingers, and now she needed an heir and a husband to make said heir legitimate.

"You never told me what brought you to _my_ kingdom out of all the lands of Ooo," murmured Constance. With a sly smile, the dhampir replied, "I find that _experience_ is the best muse. The more I see... the more I _experience_... the better my music..." And he twirled her for the effect. Giggling, Constance said, "you seem pretty _experienced_ already. What other experiences can you pick up in my kingdom?" "Well there's experience," said Marshall with a salacious wink, "and there's _experience_." With two glasses of fire-wine in her the last time she'd seen the young man, Constance had said some things that were a little dangerous for her position. When she'd become sober again, she'd wondered if he picked up on them. Now she knew.

A glance around them told her that the party had reached the phase where the boring people went home and only the men and women who liked to flout the morality of the kingdom were still here. It was a hazard of her world that she had to be somewhat careful of who she was seen with. Softly, she said, "care for a tour of my home?" "Love to," replied Marshall.

The handsome half-vampire danced his way slowly to the edge of the dance-floor. Then, as other couples took their turns, he slipped into the crowd with Connie at his side. The beautiful princess did indeed take him on a tour, showing him the stables where they kept the Wedding Coach and its team of horses. He got to meet her favorite horse, Wedding Bells, and she showed him the beautiful white and silver saddlery that Wedding Bells got to wear. Marshall couldn't help rolling his eyes behind her back. Thanking the stablehand, she led Marshall up through the kitchen and out to the overlook where she frequently entertained or gazed out on her kingdom. There were a few people out there, and she greeted her guests/subjects like old friends.

More than one of the female guests stared at Marshall in undisguised envy. Several of the men glared at the young man's back. Connie was oblivious to it all, though Marshall winked and smiled salaciously at one and all. He hoped they were jealous because he planned on bangin' their pretty princess like a drum! Meanwhile Connie was busy pointing out important landmarks of her kingdom–the Lover's Rocks up on the mountainside, the Maiden's Fountain that stood across from her palace, and the Tristing Woods at the foot of the mountain. Marshall smiled the whole way through, though he was more than delighted when they finally moved on.

After chatting with her guests, the pretty princess led him higher into the castle, past floors where the petty bureaucrats kept track of just who was married to who and just how the diamond engagement ring business was going. Finally, they arrived at the topmost floor of the castle. "So," asked Marshall, "what's up here?" With a smile and a wink, the princess unlocked the door and led him into the Princess Suite.

As she shut the door, Marshall took a good look around him. It was a far cry from the little room in the back of his mother's cramped little house in her dirty cave. The whole place was done up in silvery wallpaper with floors of some grey hardwood and white-washed ceilings, and the whole scheme reminded him of nothing so much as a wedding dress. As he looked around him, Constance came up behind him and whispered, "you... said some things earlier..." Marshall chuckled. They'd both said some things.

Her hands slipped up onto his shoulders, and she murmured, "a woman of my position has to be very careful, Mr. Abadeer... I have to be very careful about what I do..." Marshall frowned. Careful wasn't exactly his speed. "We'd have to maintain some level of decorum," said Constance. "I'm a princess... I'm supposed to be married..." Which Marshall cared exactly _zip_ about. Turning around, he got a one-handed grip on that hot little cupcake ass and dragged her to him. With his other, he got a handful of her red hair and pulled her lips to his. "Mmmph," gasped the pretty princess as Marshall sucked on her dainty little tongue.

The nasty little boy showed the dirty cougar what he knew about girls, as he squeezed and stroked that hard little ass. She had a nice, _firm_ ass, and he guessed she worked out a lot. Shoving his leg between hers, he made her rub her hot snatch against his knee. "Mmmmm," squealed the princess. Breaking that kiss, she hissed, "I'm... allowed... a little leeewayyyyy..." That last ended in a squeal as she experienced a nice little orgasm from his rough handling. Spinning her around, he pulled her against him. Deftly, he slipped a finger between her thighs and located her hot button under the patch of lace at her crotch. "You were saying," he breathed.

"I... I'm allowed a little leeway in... oooooo... winning a man," moaned Connnie. "I-I... oooooaaaa... want to know your intentions, though..." His intentions right now were to fuck the shit out of her. Grinding his hips against her round little butt–the better to make her feel the eight-inches of pain that had her name on it–he nibbled at her neck, teasing her pale blue skin with his fangs. At the same time, he slipped the front of her dress down, causing her perky boobies to pop free. They weren't as big and plush as Davina's. They weren't even as nice as Candy's, but they were perky and pointy–like two pears jutting out from her chest. His hand glided across them, barely touching, causing her to gasp and shiver.

As he tormented her body, a strange hunger rose in him. Each time his fangs nipped her throat, he found himself tempted to go farther than that. He could taste her heartbeat. He felt every subtlety of it as he felt her pulse, so strong and even. Shaking off the hunger, Marshall continued to torment her hot flesh. She'd opened her long, trim legs, and now he gave her hungry pussy some well-deserved attention, as he ran his finger all along her crack, feeling the hot moisture flow.

As Connie got hotter, her breath coming in short, ragged pants, Marshall felt the strange hunger come back. He didn't know why he was feeling this way, but it was so tempting that he found himself pressing the sharpness of his fangs against her throat above the artery. At the same time, his strong fingers pinched her button and hard right nip all at once. Shaking and shuddering, Connie wailed into her hand as she went over again. That broke through the strange fog in his mind. Shaking himself, Marshall scooped up the sexpot and carried her through the doorway into the big bedroom beyond, where he found a beautifully ornate marriage bed, all laid out for the day when the pretty Princess found that lucky guy.

As Marshall headed for the bed, Connie tried to direct him towards her actual bedroom, which was tucked away in the corner of the suite, but Marshall wasn't really paying attention. His pecker was in charge at the moment. He threw the sexy older woman on the bed and pounced on her. Pinning her there, he stuck his tongue halfway to her throat and began to toy with her beautiful form all over again. Connie's panic was competing with her passion right now. This was supposed to be her marriage bed! She was forbidden from having a man in her marriage bed until she was, well, _married_! Though she had broken many taboos by now–she certainly wasn't the virgin she was supposed to be–that was the one thing she knew would be hard to hide.

"M-Marshall," she moaned, but the dhampir was hardly listening. Jerking her long, lean legs apart, the handsome half-breed climbed aboard, pressing his fat pecker against her creamy snatch. Connie squealed like a school-girl when he stuffed his big log into her snatch, and her hands clawed at the silky covers beneath them. Marshall got his hands on the girls and began to stroke and caress them, tweaking the hard little pebbles at the tips of her cream boobies. At the same time he began to ride her, powering his big dong into her.

Connie shrieked every time he stuck it in. She'd slept with a few men over the years of her life, but she'd never had anything big as that. Hot, nasty girl-goo came sloshing out of her, horny pussy, making nasty squishing sounds as the half-vampire screwed her. Lust rising, Marshall lost himself in the feeling of porking one of his dad's old flames. Pretty Connie wasn't a virgin, and the young anti-hero wondered if his dad had done the dirty deed. "Shiiiit," shrieked the pretty princess as she shook and thrashed her way through another orgasm. He was only fucking sixteen! How had he learned so much about fucking?!

Drawing his big dick out of her, the younger man flipped the pretty cougar on her belly. Before Connie could say a word, Marshall grabbed her ass and pulled her back towards him. The princess threw back her head and wailed in ecstasy as she felt his big dong drive into her again. The young man leaned down over her as he continue to stroke her soft, blue skin and toy with her boobies, while he nibbled at her ear and neck. "Shit, you do it so good," Connie whined as his hips slapped into her ass over and over. He was getting close. He was almost frantically rutting into her now. Reaching down between her trim thighs, the princess pressed her button against his big, fat pecker, causing his meat to grind against her. That was almost too much, and she went over again, screaming into the sheets. With a guttural roar, Marshall shot his load into her.

The young man threw himself down on the bed beside her, thoroughly satisfied. Connie sighed heavily as she lay down beside him. She had to get married to him now. Smiling, as she looked at his beautiful face, she decided that wouldn't be a bad thing at all. Snuggling up to him, she teased the baby-soft skin of his chest, feeling the firm muscle underneath. In a teasing voice, she asked, "got another one of those in you?" Reaching out, he wrapped his arms around her and drew her close. Putting his lips to her ear, he growled, "maybe..." "Is it incentive you need," she teased? Marshall said not a word. Breaking contact, she crawled down to his waist and began dragging his pants off.

Back in Chocago, Finn the Human was slowly making his way through the house, heedful of the guards he'd seen earlier. It was a little odd. He'd been here for quite a while, and there was no sign of them at all. He'd expected more patrols. He'd expected to be dodging them as he made his way through the place, and he'd been afraid that he would come up short on finding anything on this trip. Instead, the house remained eerily quiet–almost as though there was no-one here. It just made no sense.

He was on the second floor now, making his way slowly down the hallway towards the bedrooms in back. His hand toyed nervously with the dagger at his hip, and he found himself thinking that he should have brought Billy or Spike along for backup. It was a bad spot to be in anyway he looked at it, and he decided there and then that maybe he ought to do a more formal investigation–maybe find out who owned this house and pursue this more officially. He'd been in a hurry to get James, and now he regretted that. _I'll just go to the end of the hall,_ thought the hero.

Reaching the end of the hall, he found the master-bedroom beckoned. The door was open, and there was no sign that the space was occupied. He could see the bed–a magnificent specimen that reminded him of some of the beds the various princesses had. As a grown man, it was a little crazy to think that he knew so much about the bedrooms and sleeping habits of a whole pile of different women. As a kid, it had all been completely innocent. He knew Bonnie slept variously in a frumpy polka-dot nightgown or a rock-and-roll shirt and sweats. Breakfast Princess slept in the altogether. Marceline slept/floated in tank-top and sweats, and Nadia in just her undies. It was information he knew better than to share with Simone or Emeraude. That would get his nards cut off.

Squaring up, Finn walked in. Padding around the room, he began looking for a safe, lifting paintings to peer behind them, and tilting bits of furniture to expose hidden panels. Nothing jumped out at him. Turning from the bedroom, he headed for the closet. Lots of folks hid stuff in closets. He'd built twin jewelry boxes in his closet for Emeraude and Simone, hiding them behind clever panels that looked like part of the wall's design.

Standing in the closet, he began prying at bits of this and that, pulling drawers and lifting up the clothes there. _Girl clothes,_ he thought. There were dresses and evening gowns and pants-suits like Simone wore when she was working on Simon's campaign. And there was an array of sexy underthings that reminded him of the things E and Simone wore when they really wanted to wind him up.

As he was sifting carefully through some of those lacy, filmy things, he suddenly heard the door shut. Dropping the pair of panties he'd been staring at, he rushed to the door and tried to open it. Locked! Behind him, he heard the bathroom door shut. As he spun towards that door, panic rose inside him. He was caught! Somebody had come up and spotted him in here! If this was some big-spender, Bonnie was going to kill him. Suddenly, though, that was the least of his problems as a hissing sound announced that the room was filling with gas.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24:

Bonnie yawned heavily. She was tired. Honestly, she was exhausted from days of being down here trying to get the Spoon of Plenty working consistently. She could honestly admit just now to being kind of a fool. She shouldn't have trusted a fucking 'magic' artifact. It was just as she'd told Starchy all those years ago. 'Magic' was bullshit–just science bent and twisted until it was no longer intelligible. Now she was paying the price, and she was fit to be tied.

She was also coming to regret shielding her citizens from the very hard work of providing for themselves. Starting out, she'd just not had the land to safely grow food. Later, it was about stabilizing the population. She'd spent a lot of time bartering resources with other kingdoms. The spoon had been a blessing. Now she had to figure out how to wean her people off handouts. Fortunately her alliance with Breakfast promised to give her space to do that.

Rising, she went over to the dinner that Peppermint Butler had packed for her and got out a bottle of water. The cold water felt good on her parched throat as she slugged it down. _You_ could _try asking Simon,_ the slim Royal thought. She'd been arguing with herself for _days_ about doing just that. It stuck in her craw to ask for a 'wizard' to help her, even if she did have one in her employ. She didn't understand the Spoon, and she knew she never would–not without sectioning it and performing a detailed analysis. Of course at that point it wouldn't really matter because there would be no Spoon to use after the analysis.

 _You have to do_ something, thought the Princess. Did her pride really matter more than her people? Would she really rather they starved instead of asking an expert? Sitting down, she stared at the inoperative Spoon and thought long and hard about that as stray thoughts did their best to get in the way. It was always a problem when she was tired. She'd lose focus and find herself going off on mental tangents related to whatever was bugging her the most just then. Today it was her family.

She had played with fire with her decision to withhold the identity of her kids' father. She saw that now. She'd been selfish, stubborn, and a little elitist in deciding Finn couldn't know their kids' true parentage. It was a pattern with her, and it gave her a severe blind-spot. It was time for a change. And that, ironically helped her get over the hump with her current problem. She needed to change things with more people than Finn. She'd been kind of a jerk to two people who had been good allies of hers. _Ok,_ thought Bonnie. _How do you raise the issue?_ She'd made fun of Simon and Betty's peculiar blend of science and sorcery for years. Her relations with the former Ice-King and his bride were strained to say the least, just like her relationship with Finn.

 _That's it,_ she thought. Finn and Simon were very good friends. Simon often joked that Finn was the only friend he had when he was in the Crown of Ice's grip. He would do anything Finn asked. And of course Finn would do anything she asked. Decision made, Bonnie turned to the job of organizing her notes to present to Simon when she could get some of his time. That job took a long few minutes. The ones covered in food-stains had to be transcribed. Others looked to have been written while she was sleep-deprived. Her watch showed midnight by the time she finished. _I'm gonna' sleep,_ decided Bonnie. She could use a good night's sleep.

The beautiful princess went up out of the vault, sealing it behind her. Her steps were slow as she climbed the stairs, showing her exhaustion, and she actually tripped over the hem of her dress a couple of times. Arriving at the top of the stairs, she signed out with the guard. "I'm kinda short-handed, Princess," said the guard. "My relief hasn't shown up. Do you need an escort home?" Yawning, Bonnie replied, "nah, Sparky. I'm good." Shouldering her bag, the tall princess got on her way.

The night was warm after the cool, dank air inside the vault. That helped the slim candy-person keep going as it warmed her body and helped her wake up a little. Having made her decision to seek help, she was now feeling more sanguine about the future. She was going to get her people through this. With her mind made up, she began to think about her family. Bon was moving on. She felt bad about the subterfuge, but she needed to make sure he wasn't still pursuing Fionna. The tall princess was absolutely _horrified_ by the young woman's suggestion that they _wish_ for an answer. She'd done her own research after learning the truth about Emeraude's dangerous _accident_ in Acquandrius's maze, and she was so terrified by the possible outcomes, she had considered placing guards outside the entrance.

 _I should talk to Finn about moving Fionna onward,_ thought Bonnie. _Maybe we should find her a nice, rich husband._ She was hesitant to give advice to someone else about their child. At the same time, she carried some of the blame for this situation, and she wanted to smooth things over. "You have to fix this, Bonnie," she murmured. Phoebe was right. She owed Finn that much. "Muscle-Princess has a big, strapping son," she murmured. "Maybe I could arrange to introduce them."

As the beautiful royal pondered how to get Finn's kid hooked up with the young heir of Muscle Kingdom, a truck sped up alongside her and skidded to a stop. As she spun to face the threat, a figure hiding in a shadowed doorway stepped out and jammed a heavy, canvass bag over her head. Two more men jumped out of the car and zip-tied her wrists together before the threesome bundled her into the back of the car. In moments it was over–the street quiet again as the all-wheel-drive sedan tore out of there.

As Bonnie struggled with the terror of another kidnaping, her son and his companions were pulling up to the edge of the woods outside Thief City. It had been a long, nervous ride out from the Candy Kingdom, with Fionna driving as fast as she dared in the dark. There were moments where the truck bottomed out so hard, Pat's teeth hurt, which somewhat explained his bad mood.

Somewhat.

If he let himself admit it, he was feeling the sting of rejection because the first thing Fionna did when they got in the truck was put Bubba Bubblegum in the seat next to her. Patrick had gotten shoved in the back. He had been fit to be tied and now he almost wanted to lash out. All that stopped him was the certain knowledge that Bubba's current girlfriend was in mortal danger until she was rescued.

Hopping out, Fionna came to the back of the truck and grabbed her pack. When she got back to the front of the truck, Pat and Bon were waiting on her. "Alright," said Fionna. "Let's do this..." And she would have just started walking. Grabbing the carry-handle atop her pack, Patrick said, "we don't even know what we're facing." "Fine, then," sniffed Fionna. "You can use your wizard eyes to scout ahead." Turning to Bon, she handed him one of her keys, saying, "in case we get separated." Which comment did bupkus as far as making Patrick comfortable with this.

Fionna set out, half-leading, half-dragging the wizard with Bon bringing up the rear. As they crossed the distance, Patrick had to make the snarky witch stop periodically so he could get his bearings. The city ahead of them was cloaked in shadow, with very little in the way of lighting. It was everything a civilized place wasn't supposed to be. There were shadowed nooks and corners seemingly everywhere, and it would have taken a miracle to traverse those narrow streets and passages safely. _It's_ Thief _City, Pat,_ the wizard reminded himself. Conventional rules of morality didn't apply here. Nobody here cared about communal safety. If you were smart and you had the money, you weren't on the streets after dark. If you were desperate, you were out here robbing or being robbed.

"I don't even see how we're going to get to the gates of the Thief King's citadel," muttered the wizard. "You leave that to me, Patrick," replied Fionna. She sounded oh-so-certain, and he couldn't tell if it was the usual cocky-Fi or if she actually had a plan. With no plan of his own, he did his best to warn her of what they were up against. As they approached the gates of the city, he saw three men lurking in the shadows. Their life-force was bright by contrast to the darkened world around them. Almost as if she could see through his eyes, Fionna maneuvered herself around behind them. One got knifed. A second got bashed in the skull, and she strangled the third, silencing him as he would have cried out. "Next," murmured Fionna.

And so it went. Pat led/directed his companions up and down the passageways and empty streets of Thief City, springing ambushes before they could spring themselves even as he marveled at the cramped, narrow streets and the sounds of families strangely enough going about their business behind the closed doors of their home. _I guess even bandits have people they care about,_ thought the wizard. It was a sobering thought that sort of made the whole business even more incongruous than it already was.

In the mean-time, Fi slowly slaughtered her way down every street. One thief met his end when a rock bashed his skull. A second thief took a long fall off a high walkway. Another ate the sharpened crystal of Fionna's sword. A fourth stepped out and managed to impale himself. That one was the worst. He just stood there staring at them in shock and surprise as if he couldn't believe they'd spotted him before he could spring out. All the while they climbed higher and higher in the city's strange, twilit cavern until at last they arrived at the fortress of the Thief King.

Sitting there crouched in an alley, staring up at the palace of the Thief King, Fionna Mertens knew a moment's cold fear. The lights were on. The lights were on, and that made Fionna very nervous. She knew for a fact that her dad had killed the Thief King years ago. Finn the Human had literally smashed her face in with his sword when she tried to kill him. Thief City had been in a state of chaos–at least more chaos than usual–for years after that. When she expressed those thoughts, Bon surmised, "maybe somebody else claimed the throne..." Which didn't really state the case as far as Pat was concerned. This was _very_ dangerous. Thief City was a hazard when the thieves were busy screwing each other. If somebody was in charge?! Well, things went just that little bit more dangerous because it took _strength_ to tame the chaos.

With a sigh, Fionna said, "we don't have a choice. This is where the note said to come." Which Pat knew. He'd read the note. What he didn't understand was Fionna's devotion to this. Why was she pushing this? He was certain she _hated_ French Toast. Was she trying to ingratiate herself with Bubba? Was that it? Did she think she could win him back by rescuing his new sweetie? Pat himself wasn't excited about pushing this anymore. He'd hoped that both Bubba and Fi would drop this when they got close. He'd hoped they'd hang out and maybe wait on Fi's dad to come. There was still time for that. If they turned around, they could still probably reach the gates without too much trouble.

"What're your wizard eyes telling you," asked Fionna? Patrick answered that question with, "Fi, this is crazy." The blonde bunny frowned at him. Shaking his head, the wizard said, "c'mon, Fi! We can't take on the Thief King's whole army by ourselves..." "What do you suggest," asked Bon? He too was a little frightened by this. "We call Fi's dad," said Patrick. "He should be on his way by now. My parents have probably already called him... Maybe we can get him to hurry." Fionna rolled her eyes. If her dad knew about this, he would have been here an _hour_ ago!

"We're going," said Fionna. Rolling his eyes, Patrick said, "even for you, this is dumb!" Fionna's face went red hot, and Patrick knew he'd stepped in it. Calmly, he said, "think this through, Fi..." Before he could finish the sentence, Fionna was striding for the entry, as though she was going to cut her way through to French Toast. Bon rushed out and got in her way. Steering her back into the shadow of a house, he said, "Patrick's right! We can't just barge in!" "I gave you two a chance to weigh in," retorted Fionna. "Are you going to let your fiancé just rot in there, Bon? She put a lot of faith in you." She sounded as though she were disappointed in him, and the thought of that made Boniface Bubblegum feel about two inches tall. With a heavy sigh, Bon said, "we should find a ventilation shaft or something. We need to be careful..." "Alright," said Fionna. Turning to Patrick, she said, "find us an entry..."

Rolling his eyes, Patrick set about the job of finding them a way in. It took a while. The home of a thief in a city made up of nothing but thieves was a well-fortified place indeed. The three friends spent over an hour creeping around the base of the massive fortress doing their best to dodge patrols of the Thief King's flunkies. Finally, as Fionna's stomach was reminding her that she'd missed dinner at her parents' place, Patrick found a duct that would lead them into the palace.

"We been out here _hours_ ," muttered Fi! "We passed this spot _three times_..." Patrick knew what she was thinking. She thought he'd been sand-bagging. Truth be told he _had_ spotted the duct earlier. Problem was that it was no more accessible now than it had been the first time he'd come across it. He hadn't mentioned it precisely because it wasn't much better than the nothing they had already, being located up at the top of a wall. When he drew the pretty blonde's attention to their potential way in, Fionna herself muttered curses. This wasn't going to be easy.

Bubba scanned the wall with one of his innumerable gadgets while Patrick fumed and Fionna pondered how she could get up that wall. "The stone has a low density and poor inherent compressive strength," announced the candy-prince. Both his companions gave him identical what-the-fuck looks. Blushing, Bon explained, "the wall can be penetrated... If we had something sharp enough and dense enough, we could embed a hook into it..." Enabling them to climb the wall. Pat sighed. If dense was all they needed, they could have used Fi's head. Fi drew out one of her arrows, and with a sigh, Bon replied, "certainly sharp, Fionna, but not dense enough." Turning to Patrick, Fionna said, "my stepmom had a spell that she used to help my dad's arrows penetrate stuff. They could even get through metal." Patrick blushed. He should have thought of that.

With a sigh, the wizard held out his hand. Fionna gave him the arrow, then started assembling her crossbow. As Patrick formed an energy-shell, doing his best to encapsulate as much of the arrow as he could manage, Fionna assembled the trick crossbow her dad had bought from Choose Goose. By the time she was done, Patrick was finished with whatever he was doing. The arrow looked only a little different, and she wondered if he'd managed to do anything. "I've... I'm still studying," muttered Patrick. He'd done the best he could. If he'd seen the spell in question, it might have been a different story. Smiling, Fionna said, "it's good, Pat. We'll make it work."

So saying, she readied her crossbow, drawing it to full cock while Bon tied off a high-strength line to the arrow. Fitting the arrow in the knock, she took careful aim, sighting above the vent that Pat had located. Now she took a deep breath, let half of it go, and stroked the trigger. Patrick found himself torn between hoping that arrow hit and hoping it went off target. The one got them out of trouble. The other would see them going in deeper than before. As the trio held their collective breath, the arrow arced up and up, finally slamming into the wall above the vent. "Yesssss," hissed Fionna. They were in business.

As the other two watched, Fionna went swarming up that skinny rope, hand-over-hand, like she did this every day. Which Patrick well knew she probably did. As she climbed, both men stared at the arrow and its tenuous grip in the wall. Fi was lighter than both of them. If anybody had a chance of climbing that skinny rope and not dislodging the arrow, it was her. Still, Patrick was terrified every moment of that climb. Reaching the top, she carefully kicked the vent in. Then she slipped inside. Patrick and Bon waited a long four minutes for her to return. When she finally did, she lowered a second length of rope to the pair.

Now it was Patrick's turn, and he went scrambling up the rope, cursing his own laziness the whole way as he faltered and slowed down. He was conserving his strength. Magic could get him to the top of the rope, but it might not be enough to see him through the deadly encounters on the other side. With Fionna fuming and Bon staring around him in terror, Patrick finally managed the last ten feet and climbed inside. Bon, being lighter and fitter, was able to climb up after him with relative ease. Now Fionna hauled both ropes up, stashing the thick one inside the vent and the skinny one back in her pack.

The trio now went crawling through the vent shaft, slowly working their way along as Patrick's wizard-eyes sought out the best course. He steered them around furnaces and machinery that might have burned them or chopped them up and ultimately up to a broad, open space that was completely dark. They could tell it was a room–and a large, open one at that. Unfortunately, that was pretty much all they could tell. They had no idea what was in the room or where the doors were. It might well have been a dead end for all they knew. "It's the closest thing we're gonna' find to 'inside'," murmured the wizard. Fionna knew it. She just wished she knew what was waiting on them there in the dark.

Squaring up, the stacked adventuress pried the grating loose and pushed it out of the way. Drawing a pebble from her pocket, she dropped it into the darkness, counting the seconds as she did so. _Ten feet,_ she thought. That was no problem. Climbing out using a length of pipe that was embedded in the wall to help her, Fionna took a deep breath and dropped into the darkness. Pat held his breath. Then a flicker of light from the bunny's flashlight alerted him that she was ok. Bon was next, with Pat landing last. With everybody present, Fionna turned her flashlight on and scanned the darkness, revealing a shocking sight. They were in the Thief King's throne room! Fionna shivered in fear. _Just find the girl and go,_ she told herself. She just had to find the girl and get her out of here. "Where would I keep her if I was the Thief King," thought Fionna? "Hmm," asked Bon? "Just wondering where Thief King's keeping toast-face," hissed Fionna. "Maybe the dungeon," mused the candy-royal?

Patrick hissed, "what are you two talking about?" "Wondering where the princess is," replied Fi. Rolling his eyes, the wizard growled, "that was a _rhetorical_ question! You two're gonna give us away if you don't shut... up..." The lights had just come on. "Welcome my lovelies," rumbled a voice like gravel grinding on steel. The Thief King stepped out from behind the throne, and Fionna's eyes locked with those of a ghost. This woman was dead! She was supposed to have died ten years ago!

More shocks were coming. Screaming from above announced that French Toast was alive and well. Glancing up, the teen heroes found Bon's fiancé on her knees in a cramped cage that hung from the ceiling by four stout ropes. She looked as though she'd spent the whole time crying. It reminded Fionna of the way her uncle found Phoebe the Flame King. Turning to the evil hag who now sat on the throne, Fionna growled, "let her go!"

That amused the nasty old bitch who howled laughter. Penny the Thief-King smiled down at her prey as they stood before her throne. It was a smile made grotesque by the jagged black scar that went from her temple down to her throat, telling Patrick that the story was partly true. Finn the Human _had_ tried to kill this woman and failed. He could see she had once been beautiful. She was in her late twenties with vibrant red hair cut close to her head and a firm, athletic body with plump and perky boobies.

"Well, well, well," said the redhead. "If it isn't Finn the Human's brat." Her voice was like gravel, and she seemed to make every word she spoke sound like she was swearing. Her eyes burned with an intense light of evil, sending a chill down Boniface's spine. Those words irritated Fionna, and she growled, "fuck you, bitch."

"My business isn't with you, kid," said the master thief, though the way she toyed with her dagger suggested that she could very easily make it so if she wanted. Nodding at Boniface, she demanded, "you got my payment, kid?" "We're not paying a dime," growled Fionna. The Thief King seemed to find that hilarious. She howled laughter, slapping the arm of her throne–a construct made of thousands of locks melted together–as she stomped her bare feet in high humor. The room began to fill with bad men, telling Patrick that the evil woman before them had the upper hand. Shit was about to get real.

 **Finn in trouble. His kids in over their heads. And Marshall continues to accumulate bad karma like douche-bag merit-badges.**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25:

His tongue felt like he'd been sucking on candy razor-blades–a habit Bonnie had made him quit when he was thirteen. His head felt like he had an ocean of cream-filling stuffed inside instead of his brain. He felt cold, and he had a stiff neck. At first he didn't know where he was. Opening his eyes, he tried to look around him, only to find he was tied up to something with his legs stretched out in front of him and his arms over his head. _This sucks,_ thought Finn. The good news? They wanted him alive for something.

As his mind formed that thought, the door in front of him opened to reveal a familiar figure standing before him. "Hello, Finn," murmured Cherry Cream Soda. "Remember me." He did indeed. He could never forget Rootbeer Guy's wife. He'd been good friends with them. He and Jake had eaten at their house when RBG was Captain of the Banana Guard. _So what the fuck was she doing here,_ he thought? Was she James's squeeze? Or something else.

Sauntering forward, hips wiggle-waggling in that way girls walked when they were strutting their stuff, Cherry approached Finn with a smile on her pretty face. He'd forgotten how pretty she was. Cherry had been grieving for RBG last he saw her, and Finn had been too busy feeling sorry for himself for losing Phoebe and Peebles both. He vaguely remembered Jake suggesting that maybe he ought to hit on Cherry and turn her into a merry-widow, but at the time that seemed kind of twisted to the hero.

In all of that, he'd never really noticed how the little woman looked–really looked. She was a little shorter than Huntress, coming up to his chest. Her face was weirdly beautiful. Her skin seemed to shift and change in color as the light hit it from different directions, shading from a reddish brown to a deep, rich black as she walked in and out of the shadows, and he almost expected to see bubbles floating in it. She had puffy, white hair hanging down to her shoulders, and her dark eyes burned into his as she approached.

And that body. Even under the raincoat she wore, he could tell she had a nice body. It might have been nicer than Emeraude's. She had a narrow, trim waist, flaring out to sexy hips that swayed with each step she took and hints of plump little boobies under that coat. She was freakin' hot. Finn remembered overhearing RBG fielding a rather raunchy sex-call from his wife, and he now realized that she could backup the game she'd been talking.

Stopping in front of him, she said, "we need to talk, hero..." A mortified Finn realized that he was still in the fancy mansion. He was even still in the bedroom. Tied to the bed with only his boxers on. He didn't have a weapon. He didn't even have clothes. He hadn't felt this helpless since the time he and Jake got caught in that giant spider web.

In a voice that sounded far more calm than he felt, Finn opened with, "so you're James's silent partner..." "If you like," replied the pretty little nymphette. "You shouldn't be backing up his crazy," muttered the Captain of the Guard. "The world can't support what he wants to do." "Oh," said Cherry. "As if _you'd_ have any idea." Finn frowned at her. "You were always dumb but pretty, Finn," said Cherry. "So take it from me. Don't try to _think_. It's a waste of time for a guy like you." Finn blushed, and his face twisted into a scowl. He knew he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he didn't really enjoy being reminded of it.

Cherry padded around the bed where he was tied, her heels click-clacking on the hardwood floor. "You've known Bonnibel Bubblegum three quarters of your life, Finn," murmured Cherry. "You lusted after her. You were her errand boy. And what did it ever get you? You didn't even get pussy." Finn flinched as she made each of those points. He hardly wanted to remember that. Though, oddly enough he now knew she was wrong about that last point. Bonnie had finally admitted to more or less fucking him in his sleep to produce Bon.

"My husband served her proudly," sighed Cherry. "He gave her everything. At first I was _proud_ of him. I was so proud of my husband. He was Captain of the Guard–finally doing everything he'd ever wanted to do. Then that fucking witch killed him. And what did he get after that..." Finn blushed. They'd had a nice little ceremony for RBG. "Meanwhile that _imbecile_ , James, was brought back to life _twenty-five times_ ," howled Cherry! Finn glanced down at his feet. Nope, it _wasn't_ fair. Then again, it wasn't really fair of Bonnie to sacrifice James the first time. PB had a selfish streak in her. She hardly wanted to admit it, but she did.

"I want what's mine, Finn," sighed Cherry, "and I want that bitch to _pay_. I want her to lose everything _she_ worked for." "But you have a nice house," retorted Finn. "You've got everything. She... she _steered_ business to you..." Nodding, Cherry agreed, "a nice, big, _empty_ house with a big, _empty_ bed in it. Tell me, Finn, how would you feel if somebody took your little ice-princess away? Hmm? Or the wood-nymph? What would happen if the little wood-nymph disappeared tomorrow?" "Are you threatening me," he demanded?

"Oh, no," she said with a smirk. "Merely trying to make you see, Finn the Human. I just want you to see how _I_ feel–how _I_ hurt." And it had hurt sooo bad to lose her husband. She'd lost everything to gain a few filthy coins. Nothing replaced her husband. She had come out in front of him again, and now they were back where they started. "I know you feel loyalty to her," said Cherry. "You raised her brats. You fought her wars. You saved her life. You even kept that crazy old man from raping her. Now it's time for you to let go." Smiling, she said, "I heard that your precious daughter's not good enough to marry her son. Is that the kind of person you want to serve?"

Finn was floored. Nobody was even supposed to know that had been an issue! She had a spy in the palace! She had to have! He felt a trickle of fear. What else did she know? Did she know about his three other kids? _She would have said if she did,_ he thought. Her spy didn't know everything. Still, it did make him a little afraid.

Taking his fear for anger and shame, Cherry went for the kill. Coolly, she said, "work for _me_ , Finn. I can make it worth your while..." Finn stared into her dark eyes, wondering what she meant by that. Reaching down, she untied the belt for her coat and let it fall open. Shrugging her shoulders, she dropped the coat, exposing her beautiful body clad in sexy white underthings. In spite of the fact that she was ten years older than he was, she had the body of a younger woman.

A lacy white bra framed her plump boobies. Like Huntress, she was slim, and her tits weren't _massive_. He could easily have filled his big mitts with those knobs, but on her skinny frame, they _looked_ huge. Below that, she wore a sexy white garter-belt holding up creamy white stockings that were almost transparent. Those framed lacy panties that left her bald pussy visible to his hungry eyes.

Cocking her hips to one side, Cherry Cream Soda asked, "like what you see? I know you do." Finn knew he was drooling. It wasn't that he didn't love his two wives. Hell, they put up with him! Simone stayed with him after he cheated with Huntress and even let Huntress stay with them! He loved his girls, and he knew they both took good care of themselves. At the same time, he was a dude! He looked. He wasn't ashamed to say he looked. Jake had been right about that.

She began to pad around him again, making him look at her. Much like Emeraude had done it, she made him watch that wiggling little ass. His little brother was doing a lot of his thinking right now as he went for a stroll down memory lane. E had squealed like a pig when he stuck her the first time. He could still make her scream when he wanted to. He knew he was bigger than the average dude. E had told him that. A part of him had the nasty thought of busting this little bitch wide open and listening to her scream.

"You're a man of action, Finn the Human," she breathed. Licking her lips, she said, "you're like my late hubby... Nothing got him going more than going out with the boys and smashing some nasty monsters that were threatening the kingdom. He'd come back and rail the shit out of me. All. Night. Long. I kept this body for him. I had surgeries at the candy-clinic... I even had the doctors add a little candy flesh in the right places..." She hefted her plump boobies for emphasis. She'd even had a little more work done recently in anticipation of having to take care of business with this man.

Stopping in front of him, she said, "serve me, Finn... Forget about the bubblegum bitch. Work for me. We'll take over the Kingdom and make it run the way _we_ want." "And what about the Princess and her kids," asked Finn? She'd expected him to balk at killing his former flame. Fortunately she needed the bitch alive–at least until they had all the knowledge from her pretty little head.

"I won't hurt them," murmured Cherry as she climbed up on his lap. She could _feel_ his hard pecker under her butt. Stroking his face, she said, "I _need_ her alive, Finn. I need the knowledge in her head, so I've got no reason to kill her." Finn added a _yet_ to that in his mind. He could see it in her eyes. The lie was right there. Leaning towards him, she said, "you'll rule at my side, Finn. I'll make your son a general. If she's willing to move far away and never return, Fionna can have Boniface Bubblegum." She kissed his lips, and Finn learned that she was a really good kisser. On the flipside, he could just imagine how many men those lips had kissed.

"Mmm," she murmured. "Who taught you, baby?" Finn blushed. He was self-taught, and he'd never had any problems keeping his girls happy. "I'm going to teach you some things," the evil piece of candy told him. "Just say it," she moaned, as she rubbed her crotch against his dong. "Say you'll be my servant. You can have _this_ whenever you want." He had to know. He had to make her say it. "If I don't," rumbled Finn. With a smirk, she stroked his cheek, and her dark eyes burned into his. "Then you never make it home, Finn," she murmured. "That would be a pity. You're a beautiful man, but I'd have no problem doing what I need to do..." Taking a deep breath, Finn said, "ok. What do you need from me?" She smiled, as she reached up and unlocked the shackles that held his hands to the wall. "For right now," said she, "please me..."

Finn hesitated a moment. She had goons in this house. He'd seen them earlier. He didn't have any weapons, and, rich as she was, she could have a whole pile of weapons for her dudes. More to the point, if she was the mastermind behind all the bad in the Candy Kingdom right now, she was ready for anything he could do. He might take her out, but he wouldn't escape. And her dudes might take out his family for revenge.

It was the strangest thing he'd ever done, but he reached out, slipped his arms around another woman, leaned in, and kissed her like he meant it because it might very well mean his life. "Mmm," moaned Cherry. "Better, baby..." Warming to the situation–she _was_ a beautiful woman–Finn began to stroke her soft skin. It was surprisingly soft in spite of the way she looked. Her lips were cool–like Marceline's. Her hands touched him, her fingers stroking the hard muscle of his chest and slowly trailing down, leaving ghost-like whispers of sensation. At the same time, she leaned into him, pressing her plump knockers in against his body. He could feel the firm flesh against him, covered in the silky white bra she wore, and he remembered the underthings in the closet. Those were hers.

On her side, she could _feel_ his pecker getting harder and harder under her ass. She was honestly a little astonished at the size of it. He was a big, big man, and he apparently had a pecker to match! Breaking that kiss, she licked her lips teasingly. The way she looked when she did that–the way her eyes seemed to convey _heat_ –Finn honestly found himself getting turned on. He remembered the day he'd seen her down in Mr. Twist's dungeon-like basement. She'd been wearing a tight skirt and a jacket, and he'd seen hints of plump boobies and a firm, round ass under her clothes when he'd glanced at her. He'd thought she was kinda' hot at the time. Now he knew it for true.

Reaching back behind her, he popped the catch on her bra, letting those plump knobs spring out. His big mitts cupped those perky boobs, finding that they were a nice handful, just a little smaller than E's. On tiny, petite little Cherry, they looked _big_. Finn kissed his way across her cheek, and he nibbled at her ear, teasing her, as his fingers traced slow, lazy circles around her firm tit-flesh. Cherry felt the heat rising within her. Strangely enough this was turning her on too. She had dreamed of twisting him–perverting the virtuous Finn the Human. She'd dreamed of turning the great hero of the Candy Kingdom against fucking Bonnibel Bubblegum. Now it seemed she was actually succeeding.

When he finally bent and took an experimental swipe with his tongue against her ripe tits, she was more than ready. Still, he continued to tease, never quite touching her enough to send her over the edge. His fingers hefted those knobs, while his thumbs pressed in against the hard nips, sending shivers through her body. Then, when he finally picked the left one and began to suck on it, she couldn't really help moaning. It came out long and loud, and it sounded like he was almost hurting her. Honestly, the sound of the little lady moaning like that kind of freaked him out a little. He didn't know what her henchmen would take for him hurting her, and he feared they'd bust in and kill him just like that. Still, when nobody came to her rescue, Finn kept going.

Throwing the little sexpot on her back, Finn bent and hooked his fingers into her panties. Then he slowly slid them down, baring her bald snatch to his eyes. "Mmmm, ye like it, Finn," she asked? "Tell you in a minute," said he, as he tossed her panties aside. He'd sniffed them like they were daubed in perfume–a sight she hadn't seen since her late husband. It drove her crazy back then to think her husband liked the scent of her musk, and strangely enough it drove her crazy now. Finn grabbed her long, sleek legs and shoved them wide before pressing his face against her hot honey-pot.

In moments, he was giving her snatch an expert tongue-bath. "Aiiggghh," she shrieked! That did have a couple of the boys at the door to see if the head cop was killing the boss of bosses. Cherry threw back her head and moaned in heat–a sound that those rough men were all too familiar with. This stiff wasn't the first guy the boss had banged. Some–the guys who treated her good and got her off–actually got out of this house alive. The sexy little woman wrapped her thighs around his neck and her hands clutched at his long, blonde hair as he ate her out. "Ooohnn.. Uhnn... Oooooo," howled the petite little beauty.

Her head thrashed back and forth, and her fingers clawed at his scalp. She had sharp fucking nails, and it was almost like the early days with Simone when the Ice-Tiara had warped her body. "Uhhn, yeah...," whined Cherry. "Like that... Just like that..." Finn nibbled at her nether lips, and he slid one of his fingers in and out of her hot pussy, causing hot girl-cream to drool out of her. Clamping his lips around her button, he sucked hard on it, causing her to shriek again as he sent her crashing over the edge.

Cherry found herself breathing hard and trying to clear the cobwebs from her eyes. That was crazy! She'd thought he was a dud at first. Now she found herself wondering if maybe it was fear. Whatever it was, he'd worked out the kinks, and now she found herself hungry for more. Indeed Finn found himself faced with a moving target as he climbed up over her. The hot little gangster-girl's hips were wriggling around, and she was shivering as if she had a fever. Holding her hips steady, the big man pressed his big, fat dick–she'd never seen one that big–against her hot snatch. Cherry closed her eyes and stuck her fist in her mouth as Finn drove that huge thing into her pussy.

Finn groaned at the feel of her hot snatch squeezing him. Honestly, after days of running down leads–days where he hadn't even _seen_ his wives, much less gotten laid–Finn was a little horny himself. The hung, horny hero began to screw the little candy-person hard, driving his big pecker in and out of her hot box and pounding her hot little ass into the bed. They had the bed rocking and squeaking, and the little woman was shrieking and wailing as he screwed the shit out of her. One hand supported his powerful body, while the other toyed with her plump knobs, sending shivers of delight through her.

Cherry wrapped her sleek legs around his waist, and her hands pulled on his butt as he stuffed that big sausage into her belly. Burying her face in his shoulder, the beautiful gangster girl screamed into his chest. She actually bit him. "Ooooh, yeah," howled the petite beauty. Catching his lips with hers, she kissed him with a passion close to hunger. As they swapped spit, Finn sat up and began bouncing the little woman up and down that fat pecker. His hands squeezed her little ass. "Ummm, yeah," howled the little woman. "Fuck me, baby! Fuck me! Shoot that cum in me!" Finn began to go faster and faster, almost using the hot little bitch as a fuck-toy. As his pleasure rose to a crescendo, Finn grabbed her hair and pulled her lips to his. Biting and sucking at her bottom lip, Finn shot his stuff into her.

Finn sat back on his haunches with little Cherry Cream Soda laying against him. It didn't seem possible that she was the face behind all the awful things going on in the Candy Kingdom. At the same time, he knew it was true. Evil grew out of vengeance and vengeance grew out of terrible pain such as she had suffered. And what was he going to do now. He'd just cheated on his wives. Straightening, the beautiful woman teased his lips with a finger and said, "I wouldn't have guessed you had that in you." She gave him a devilish grin and added, "but I suppose I should have since you keep two women..." Finn blushed. Stroking his chest, she murmured, "let's do that again..."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26:

"I can't give you the Amulet of Power," rumbled Boniface Bubblegum. "It belongs to the people of the Candy Kingdom..." "It belongs to your mammy," retorted Penny. "You have access to it. You should have given it to me..." She coolly depressed a button on her throne, opening a yawning pit in the center of her throne-room–right below the cage that held French Toast. The pretty girl squealed in terror, and crowded herself into a corner of the cage. "Stop scaring her, bitch," growled Fionna! Penny ignored the little Mertens bitch. "You owe me, Bubblegum-boy," growled the Thief King. "You didn't bring the Amulet of Power, so I want something else."

"I have nothing to give you," muttered Boniface. "Nothing but my life." As Fionna and French Toast both howled protests, Penny sat back on her throne and smiled. "Now we're talking," said she. "You're not giving yourself to scar-face," growled Fionna! "She's right, Bon," said French Toast! "You can't give yourself to that witch!" The Thief King said, "I'm listening, kid. Talk." "I will serve you for a thousand days," said Bon. "Anything you ask of me." Licking her lips salaciously, the older woman looked him over from his head to his toes and said, "ooo... _Anything_ covers a lot of ground..." The leer she gave Bon turned Fionna's stomach. It was a lot like the nasty look that Abracadaniel and his friends gave her. It suggested that this bitch was a molester, and it made the blonde bunny want to punch her lights out. "He's never gonna' do it with _you_ , you nasty old bitch," the blonde shouted.

"It'll be a pleasure to shut that trashy mouth of yours," growled Penny. "Guards!" "Fi," Bon shouted! "We can't fight them all!" "Yeah," snarled the blonde. "Watch me." She sprinted at the pit, shouting at Patrick over her shoulders, "Pat?! Stairs!" Pat whispered a calming incantation as he sent shards of energy into the stone beneath Fionna's feet. Great spires of stone shot up out of the floor, providing the bunny with the means to climb to the cage. "Stop her," shouted the Thief King! "A thousand coins for the man who brings me her head!"

At the last spire of stone, Fi jumped to the cage, landing on top of it. As Penny reached for the button to dump French Toast into the pit, Fi chopped two of the cables loose, causing the cage to swing down and away from the pit. At the last second, she sliced the remaining cables and jumped. The heavy wood-and-iron cage smashed into the ground with a sickening sound. The bunny alit like a goddess in front of the charging thieves. "Bon," shouted Fionna. "Get toast-face." And then she grimly waded in, slashing away with that razor-sharp shard of crystal.

Patrick slung bolts of ice–his dad's favorite–and blasts of flame into the guards, knocking them over like bowling pins, while Boniface raced to his beloved's prison. He found Frenchie stunned and bruised but unhurt. Raising the pocket blaster he'd found in his mother's chambers, Bon blasted the lock free. Then he scooped up Frenchie's limp form and rushed back to his companions. Fionna was fighting a delaying action, buying time as more and more palace guards crowded in. "I hope you have a better plan than this," howled Penny! She was laughing. She was actually belly-laughing as if this was all some big game to her! Fionna wanted to bash the rest of her face in.

Cradling his lady, Bon pondered how to talk their way out of this. They couldn't win. He knew they couldn't win. Brushing up against him, Fionna said, "take the rope out of my pack, Bon." Boniface lowered Frenchie to her feet. As she stood there wobbling dazedly on her feet, he fumbled the last of the rope free of Fi's backpack. "Lash us together," said Fionna. Patrick grimaced. He knew where she was going with this. He'd had a headache for a month the last time he'd tried that spell. Granted, he'd been twelve at the time, but he didn't fancy doing that again. _But what choice do we have,_ he thought?

As she watched them lash themselves together, Penny chuckled, "going mountain-climbing? You're saving me on the job of hauling away the bodies. My boys here will just drag the rope!" Fionna spat curses at the evil old hag. She had no idea why her dad felt sad about killing this bitch. "Ready, Pat," asked the blonde bunny? "Ready, Fi," came the grim reply. As the Thief King watched in disbelief, the young wizard began to fly. He floated up and out of reach of her guards. And then, as he reached the limit of the rope, he tugged the dazed princess aloft too. And then came the Bubblegum Prince. "Stop them," shouted the Thief King! "Shoot them down!" By now, Patrick was halfway to the ceiling. Floating up against the skylight there, he aimed a bolt of lightning that shattered the glass, and then he was through the barrier.

Unfortunately, that was about when Fionna's glorious plan went off the rails. Patrick had only ever done this with one other person. Now he was doing it with _four_. The cost in energy was exponentially higher. _And me without my amp,_ thought the wizard. Fionna could feel them slowing. They were barely out of reach. Coming to a quick decision, she raised her sword and slashed through the rope with one swing. Freed of the weight, Patrick shot skyward, clearing the roof with space to spare. Down below, Fionna collapsed her sword and surrendered.

Morning found Finn coming up the stairs to his home after a long, strange drive across the grasslands from Chocago. His mind was in turmoil–had been in turmoil–since he left Cherry's mansion. She'd had him walked out the front door and driven to his car after more or less using him a fair chunk of the night. He felt... _dirty_. It was a lot like he felt after his first encounter with Penny in Thief City. He felt like he'd gone for a good roll in the mud. He'd cheated on his girls. He'd fucked another woman. And, as if that wasn't bad enough, he'd agreed to help her wreck the Candy Kingdom. It hardly mattered that she'd kind of had him over a barrel. He'd given her what she wanted.

Finding both of his ladies there was both good and bad. He wasn't excited by the prospect of telling them what had happened. He feared how they would react. Of course, he was even less excited by the prospect of telling them separately and having to repeat that disgusting tale. They were at the table, and Finn immediately turned and headed towards them. As he approached, Simone's eyes burned into his, almost as if she could tell he'd cheated.

"Where the hell have you been," growled the fallen sorceress?! It was a fantastic start to an unpleasant conversation. She was holding a piece of paper in her hands, and, as Finn approached, she shoved the paper in his face, saying, "we need to go out and find Bubba, Pat, and Fi..." Finn skimmed the page, and a cold chill went down his spine. There couldn't be any coincidence here. If the words on that page were true, then Cherry was playing a very dangerous game.

"There's more," rumbled Huntress. Glancing up, Finn gobbled, "more?" Simone said, "that's not important..." "The hell it isn't," snapped Emeraude! "Fucking Junior's preggers, Finn, and Billy wants to marry her right away." Finn's jaw hit the floor. Ice Queen and Wizard began to bicker then, with Simone insistent that they focus on the news Patrick left for them, while Huntress wanted to talk about Junior's news. She was certain there was some trick behind it.

"Sit down," said Finn, "both of you." His tone arrested them, telling Simone that something was very wrong. Finn wasn't the same happy-go-lucky boy she'd married sixteen years back. Time and the responsibility of two wives and three kids had hardened him. At the same time, he was obnoxiously cheerful on the worst days, showing a resilience that stunned Simone and sometimes annoyed Huntress. For his voice to show so much worry made Simone even more worried. Glancing at each other, the two mothers sat down before him as one.

Sitting down in front of them, Finn swallowed hard, and then told them, "I met somebody yesterday that I hadn't seen in more than sixteen years..." That sounded... ominous. As they processed that, Finn added, "and I did something I vowed never to do again." Huntress was a beat late. She didn't quite get it. Simone did. He'd made that promise to _her_. "Who was she," demanded the snow-haired beauty?! "Bonnie? Marcy?" As she stared into his eyes, she realized it was neither of the two she expected. Finn was a little surprised to realize she expected him to stray. That... _hurt_. When neither of those two names got the expected reaction, Simone threw out, " _Phoebe_?!" Which had Emeraude rolling her eyes. As if that was even possible. If a kiss caused her to almost blow up the world, who knew what an orgasm would do?

"No, no, and no," retorted Finn. "I was approached by the wife of an old friend, and not in a good way." Glance at Huntress and he said, "those eyes you noticed spying on you? They belong to her." Huntress turned to Simone, took her by the hand, and pulled her back into her chair. "What," asked Emeraude? "Did she threaten you?" "Yeah," said Finn. "She's... She's the brains behind James and his revolt."

Simone had been _aware_ of the revolt. She was aware because she had to be more careful about making sure the house was locked up at night or when they were all out, and she had stopped shopping in Candy-Town altogether even though it was closer. Now she saw that there was much more to it than she'd thought. Slowly Finn laid out the story–of his undercover investigation of the goings-on in Candy-Town. How he'd traced the money to an address in Chocago and tried to infiltrate the place. He could see the girls' terror when he told them of how he'd been gassed and ended up tied up and helpless. And that tale of woe led to his meeting with Cherry Cream Soda. "She... had me tied up," sighed Finn. "She said that if I didn't agree to serve her, I'd be killed right there. Then she made me prove it." "By railing her," asked Simone? Flushing, Finn nodded.

Rolling her eyes, Simone said, "it's not like you had a _choice_ , Finn. I don't care if you had to fuck her and a hundred others as long as you got to come home safe to me." Huntress nodded her agreement. "What're we doing now," asked the wizard? "I have to figure out how to get you guys out of here," said Finn. It was clear to him that this thing with French-Toast and the kids was her handiwork as well. "She's got spies in the palace," said he. "That's probably how they figured out when to snatch Bubba's new girlfriend." "She might know Bubba and Shoko are your kids," gasped Simone. "No," said Finn. "She thinks Bonnie cloned them or something. She doesn't know about... about that. I'd like to keep it that way." He told her how Cherry had offered to let Fionna 'keep' Bubba. Blushing, Simone rumbled, "nasty bitch, isn't she?" Finn nodded.

"I need to move you guys out of here," said Finn. "You and Star. I'm'a... I've got to figure out how to catch up to Fi, Bon, and Pat." He had to stop them. They were likely heading into a trap. Simone saw several flaws with his plan. "She'll know that you're up to something, Finn," said the beautiful woman. "We have to stay here." When her husband protested, Huntress agreed, "Simone's right, Finn. We... we have to fortify this place as best we can, but we have to pretend like we don't even know what's going on. That's our best protection." Simone's sharp mind was already a step ahead. "You need some help, Finn," she said. "This girl probably already has a watch on Billy. She may even have spies among your guards. You need somebody who she doesn't know. Why don't you go and see Phoebe? She might be able to help you. Her people can use fires to conduct clairvoyance and travel." Finn nodded. That was a good idea.

That just left them with the elephant in the room. "You guys aren't mad at me," he asked? Both women laughed in his face. Huntress chuckled, "I bet you _wrecked_ that nasty pussy. She won't be giving that to anybody else now..." Simone chuckled, "did she squeal?" Blushing, Finn admitted that Cherry had, in fact, squealed like an abused pig. Both of them moved to his side of the table and occupied his lap, holding onto him tightly. That was when he realized just how frightened they were. Simone had made him promise to step back from doing the really dangerous stuff, and mostly he'd done just that. Now he saw just what that did to her.

Breaking that embrace, Huntress told her husband, "you get on the job of finding the kids, donk. Simone and I have something we need to do." "W-where are you two going," he stammered? Taking Simone by the hand, she said, "it's time you got your powers back." They needed an edge. It was time Simone had an Instrument of her own. They were going to go make her one. Now. The wood-nymph didn't give her co-spouse any choice. She dragged Simone towards the stairs down to where she did her wiz-work in the house, leaving Finn at the table.

Finn was reaching for his phone to try and call his daughter when the phone rang. Startled, the Guard Captain ended up nearly fumbling it and dropping it on the floor. When he finally got a grip on it, he answered with, "Fionna...?" The soft voice on the other end of the line responded, "no, but if you like school-uniforms, I might be able to find something..." Face gone hot–the suggestion he might be bangin' his own kid enraged him–Finn growled, "what do you want?" He could _hear_ the humor in her voice as Cherry Cream Soda replied, "time for you to put up or shut up hero. Need you to run an errand for me..." Finn grimaced. It appeared she was going to keep him on a short leash. "Where and when," he sighed? "Come to my office on Malt Lane," replied Cherry. "Half-hour. Don't be late." Before he could utter a response, she hung up.

Finn quickly scrawled a note for the girls. They would have to track down the kids on their own. It looked a lot like he would be under Cherry's thumb, doing his best to avoid death or prison. His mind in a state of turmoil, he went down to his truck and peeled out of the driveway. As he drove, his distraught mind went in circles. Where ordinarily he marveled at the scenery around him, he found himself too busy searching for an escape to notice what he passed. When he reached the city, his thoughts shifted from escape to fear of what Cherry was going to ask him to do. It would be illegal. That was obvious. He feared it would be something evil that he'd never find forgiveness for.

The lawyer-turned-gangster held court in a posh uptown office with clear views of Bonnie's palace. Finn couldn't help but notice that as he came to a stop before her desk. Cherry was spitting distance from the woman she so hated. She could look out her window and see Bonnie's home. The crime boss had her nose in a pile of papers when Finn came in, and she kept him waiting–deliberately jerking his chain. When she finally acknowledged him, it was to tweak his nose even more by asking if he'd ever been late when Bonnie called. In spite of–or because of–his blush, Finn said not a word.

Moving on, Cherry slid a scrap of paper across the desk to him, saying, "need you to go to this address and pick up a package..." This was treason. Finn knew it for treason. He was in a very bad place right now. If he got caught in this, Bonnie could whack him. He might not get a chance to explain. At the same time he really only had the choice of riding the tiger and hoping he could get it in the cage before it mauled him. Cherry's face, so beautiful and inviting, was like the face of a fruit-witch. She was offering food to the starving so she could devour him in turn. Finn was queasy about having slept with her, even with the girls permission. What she was telling him just now made that feeling even worse. With little choice, the hero picked up that piece of paper and read what was written there.

"It's simple, really," said Cherry in her soft, sweet voice. That voice didn't belong to someone who was into the evil shit she was into. "John Erickson owes me a cool half-million," said Cherry. "All you need do is collect it." Just like his daughter had been _collecting_ money. Only problem was he doubted this guy would just hand over the dosh. If Star's experience was anything to go by, he was in for a ride. To make it worse, he was going into Warrior Kingdom to do it. If it had been the Candy Kingdom, he could have swept it all under the rug using his authority as Captain of the Guard. He had no authority in Warrior Kingdom. "Is there a problem, Finn," asked the crimelord? "No," replied Finn. Then, a little stronger, "I'll be back in a couple of days."

The beautiful gangster reached down and cupped her plump left booby and reminded him, "remember what's waiting for you..." Finn's face went red hot. Nonetheless he promised to do just that. Spinning on his heel, he headed out. At the door, he took a deep breath, drew the door open, and stepped out. On the far side, he came face-to-face with something– _someone_ –that stunned him to his shoes. He'd been wondering for days how this had gotten started under his nose. Now he knew.

Staring into Jake Junior's eyeless face, it all made sense. This was it. This was the angle he hadn't seen. He'd figured out from things she'd said how Cherry got control of the Candy Kingdom's underworld. She'd had her hooks in some of the big players, and she'd used carefully targeted assassinations to get rid of potential rivals. Now he understood how those assassinations got carried out. Junior had duped his daughter into doing their dirty work. Now she had her hooks in his son. E was oh so right, and Finn felt a towering rage come into his heart. It took all his will to keep walking.

Behind him, Junior was having a bit of a shock too. She'd been careful. She'd been almost paranoid about avoiding public contact with her former defense-attorney turned mob boss. Now she was caught by one of two people who might ruin her perfect life. With a heavy sigh, she went into the office and shut the door. Her boss had her elegant nose buried in a ledger as she approached. The angry shape changer demanded, "what the fuck was _he_ doing here?" Cherry, who never bothered looking up, replied, "since you can't seem to provide me with someone to deal with Erickson, I found someone myself..."

Junior stood there a moment collecting her jaw from the floor. When she'd somewhat recovered, she rushed forward saying, "h-how? I... What did you do to my uncle?!" Glancing up, Cherry said, "you almost sound like you _care_..." The shapechanger flushed. She'd called her adoptive uncle a loser, a stiff, and worse. She and he just didn't get along. Still, she didn't want to wreck his life! Trying to sound calm, Junior said, "even the Lich couldn't control Finn!" Cherry made an entry in her ledger as she opined, "it's often said that you should make love not war, Junior. Maybe the Lich should have tried stealing a woman's body..." Junior found her jaw hanging again. This bitch just thought she could get Finn hooked on the cookie and have him do her bidding?!

Leaning back in her chair, the crime boss said, "the nymphs... I need them back in town paying street-tax. Handle it." Junior's fists clenched. The guard would find out! "He won't interfere," said the boss. "So handle it. I have flats across the city. We'll divide them up. Two girls per flat, and invitation only to start." Junior acknowledged those orders with a nod. Dismissively, the gangster told her, "you can go. After all, the sooner you get done, the sooner you can be off your feet. Wouldn't want anything to happen to the babies..." Junior all but ran out of the room with the crime boss's laughter ringing in her ears.

How had it gotten to this point? How had things gone so badly? She'd had control of this. Nobody knew about her activities. Not even Billy had suspected. She had been earning good money. Their families had been oblivious, and she had Billy nearly every day. Now she was knocked-up, her boss was trying to set the Candy-Kingdom on fire, and Billy's dad had just found out who she worked for. Worse, her idiot boss thought she could control him–make him do what she wanted. Nobody _ever_ controlled Finn. Eventually this was all going to explode in her face. She needed out of here _yesterday_ , and she still hadn't have the money yet. She was getting desperate enough to consider begging her parents at this point.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27:

She was a fighter. The Thief King had to give her that. Fionna the human girl was definitely her father's daughter. In spite of being left here to die so her former boyfriend could rescue his sweet little bride, Fionna maintained her composure. Even in the face of vile threats of rape and worse–with strangers touching and groping her–Fionna the hero stood there patiently as if waiting for something. Wearing an evil smile, Penny came down from her throne. When they were standing toe-to-toe, the pretty blonde opened with, "you should let me go before my dad gets here."

That pissed the Thief King off. Face gone red with rage, Penny snarled, "shut your gob, you worthless bitch, before I shut it for you!" She snatched the rabbit hat from the blonde's head, causing her long, golden locks to spill out. Grabbing a fistful of Fionna's wavy blonde hair, she shook her shouting, " _I'm_ in charge here! That old fool has no power over me!" She pulled and twisted Fionna's hair until the blonde was ready to scream. When that failed to cow the pretty blonde, the Thief King drew her dagger and looked for all the world as if she would plunge it into the younger woman's heart. Still Fionna refused to cry out or scream. She was just like her father–tough as anything.

"What's your deal," demanded Fionna?! Reaching up, Penny ran a blackened fingernail along the side of her face, tracing the scar that went all down her cheek and onto her throat. "He almost killed me," said she. "He almost killed me that day. Only a stolen flask of Cyclops tears kept me alive. He left me scarred for life, though." Fionna flushed as she had a sudden memory of what her parents had said. That could be her. Running that dagger down the side of Fionna's face, the master thief said, "for that alone, I should carve you up into a bloody sausage and send you back to him." Fionna flinched away from the touch of that steel.

The evil woman said, "but I won't do that–not yet, little Fi-Fi." Fionna swallowed hard. That didn't sound as comforting as it should have. "No," said Penny. "I'm going to do something much worse. I'm going to make a gain from you. I'm going to sell every asset you have for maximum gain. I'm going to auction your cherry to the highest bidder. Then I'm going to pimp you out until you're all used up. And then I'll sell you on the slave market in mutant lands. And only then will I sell him the information on where to find your _broken body_." Nodding to the guards who held her, the Thief King snarled, "take her away!"

Out in the forest, Bon and Patrick were struggling to figure out what to do now. They'd made it out of town. That had been a very near thing. Patrick was exhausted. He'd used up much of his power, and he'd been down to using Bon's gun-thing at the end. The thieves had quit chasing them when they exited the city limits and reached the sunlight. It was almost as if there was some kind of weird border there.

Of course that left them with one big problem. Fionna was still back there. Bon settled French Toast in the passenger seat of Fionna's truck. As Patrick stared back across the barren stone and mud to the hidden entry of the City of Thieves, the candy Royal got a canteen from the back of the truck and gave the dehydrated princess some water. "Are you alright," asked Bon? "I-I think so," whimpered the pretty princess. Throwing herself on her husband, she said, "oh, Bon... I was so scared! Sh-she said she was going to sell me on the slave market!"

Bon flushed to his hair. A part of him wanted to send the Gumball Guardians to flatten the whole of the town! It was an urge he now associated with his father. He'd never known his mother, who possessed the power to make such violent fancies happen, to exhibit a single violent impulse. It was something he would have to be wary of in the future. Unlike his dad, he had the knowledge to do some truly terrible things. In the now, he focused on checking his bride over. She was starving and dirty and she had bruises on cheek and back.

"We need to figure out how to get Fi out of there," rumbled Patrick. Bon looked up at him in embarrassment. He hadn't exactly forgotten. At the same time, he'd been a little preoccupied. More to the point, Fi was his _sister_. His sister was in that same hell-hole. How would he face his father if he left his sister in that place. "Bon," murmured Frenchie. "I... I couldn't bear it if you went back in there..." "Fine," muttered Patrick. "I'll go it alone." Bon stopped him. "We have a duty here, Patrick," said he. "Our homeland is tied by treaty to Breakfast Kingdom. If we leave her alone and vulnerable here..." Patrick sighed heavily. Bubba was right, and he knew it. Pat's parents would have said the same thing.

"Ok," said he. "Take the truck and get clear of here." "You can't go back now anyway," retorted Bon. "They're... She's not going to hurt Fionna. Not right off. Stay here with us. There's that structure we past on the way here. We can go there, hole up, and you can rest. I'll stand watch. When night falls, you can come back for Fionna. I-I'll drive you." "Ok," muttered Patrick, though he clearly wasn't happy about this. Holding out his hand, he said, "I'll drive." Bon handed him the key, and Patrick got in the driver's seat. As the wizard fired up the truck, the prince climbed in beside his lady and got them both buckled in.

As the three teens headed across country to the wrecked and abandoned factory they had passed on the way to Thief City, Fionna's father was setting out on an unhappy journey to the capitol of Warrior Kingdom. It had been a number of years since Finn the human had ridden the motorcycle. Banana-Man had ridden up on it one day, hung around for a while, and then found he couldn't get it started to make the journey home. He'd ended up walking back with promises to come and get it later. That had been ten years ago.

With NEPTR's help, Finn had gotten it running again, and it had become his way to get in and out of town so that he could spend time on his family and still get work done. When Bonnie had allowed him to get trucks for the Banana Guard, Finn had ended up with one of those. Fortunately NEPTR had kept the bike running. Now it was a boon for a man who was doing something awful against his will. He wouldn't be using a Banana-Guard truck to go out to Warrior kingdom to kill someone.

As he rode along through the wilderness, his mind wandered to his kids. Fionna and Bon were at Thief City trying to rescue French Toast. They weren't ready for that! They weren't ready for something so dangerous! It wasn't even the risk of death that terrified him. He knew better than anybody how dangerous it could be just walking outside your home.

He and Jake had run into trouble a hundred times when they were in the habit of wandering around looking for trouble. They'd always gotten through it, and that had given the hero a swelled head at a very young age. He'd gone to Thief City and nearly lost his soul there. He'd walked in naive as anything and been tricked not by the nastiest grifter there was in the town. He'd been seduced and swindled by a child–a kid that was younger than he was and irredeemably evil. Penny had come close to drawing him into evil twice. Both times, he'd fallen completely under her spell, trusting in the innocent face she showed the world. He could remember her just like yesterday. As the motorcycle devoured the miles to Warrior Kingdom, Finn's mind wandered back to that day–the day she'd fallen back into his life.

Finn stood on the steps of the palace in kind of a state of shock. The Amulet of Power was missing. It had been taken from the safe in Peeble's lab, and now the Thief King had sent a ransom note for it. He had the Amulet, and he would auction it to the highest bidder if he didn't receive a ransom in a week. Finn, as Captain of the Guard, had just that much time to get the Amulet back. Honestly, he was at a loss. The Bananas were never going to fight their way into Thief City. He'd be on his own.

"Penny for your thoughts, hero," announced a voice. Finn turned to his left and found himself staring into a pair of sparkling green eyes. His mouth worked soundlessly as he took in the sight of someone he hadn't seen since he was ten! "Penny," he mumbled? Grinning ear to ear, the beautiful young woman nodded. Finn threw his arms around her and gave her a bone-crushing hug. Thrusting her to arm's length, Finn said, "wow! You look great! You've really grown up!" She was still shorter than he, but she'd filled out, and her body now showed a trim waist and soft curves under the tatty brown dress she wore. Her red hair was cut short in a sexy page-boy cut, and her eyes sparkled with humor.

"So have you, hero," said Penny as she stroked his muscular chest with the tip of a finger. Finn blushed. Still, he'd never forgotten how she'd tricked him. His left hand checked his pocket for his wallet. "What a way to say hello," she scolded him! Finn blushed and apologized. Grinning, she said, "you can buy me lunch as a peace-offering..." "Uh, sure," replied Finn.

Finn took his strange 'friend' down to his favorite eatery at the railroad yard. Smothers offered great food and decent portions for small money, which was a big deal when you had two wives and three kids. Settling in at the table, Finn ordered up a fantastic lunch with giant open-faced pastrami sandwiches slathered in fries, cheese, and Smothers' special sauce. As they ate, Finn couldn't really help looking over the beautiful young lady opposite him. Seeing him looking, Penny would blush and duck her head. She was seriously cute! And then it hit him. "Y-you washed," stammered the hero! Grinning, Penny slicked back her hair and replied, "yeah... I guess..." Glancing away, she said, "I guess I kinda had to leave that place..." Smiling, Finn gave her hand a squeeze and said, "I-I'm glad you did..."

He clearly remembered trying to scrub the filthy film of corruption from Penny's body in Thief City–trying to purify her soul from the dark influence of that place. At the time, she'd turned right around and gone back to what she'd been doing, and he'd thought that maybe there was no hope for her. Now he was glad to see he'd been wrong.

As they ate, Finn proudly told her about his job as Captain of the Guard. That led into his current problem. He had to go back into Thief City and get the Amulet of Power back. And unfortunately he'd be going alone. "Why alone," asked the beautiful girl? With a sad shrug of his shoulders, Finn explained, "Jake's retired, and my guard dudes need more training..." Smiling Penny brushed his hand with her fingertip. Her pouty lips proclaimed, "I'd go with you..." Finn goggled at her, "really?" Penny smiled and nodded. Slyly, she reminded him, "you need someone to keep you honest." Finn blushed and chuckled in unwanted memory. She'd swindled him good, tricking him into stealing just as she did.

Finn excused himself to call home. With E and Star laid up with the Grey Blight and Simone nursing both, plus Billy and Fi staying with Simon and Betty for a while, his life was a little crazy. Simone was a little wiped out when he called, so he ended up calling Simon to help her restock the fridge. Then, with Penny at his side, he got on his way.

It was kind of a walk, and they spent a couple of days out on the road. As they walked, the pair caught up on each other's lives. At least Penny caught up on Finn's. Finn had a whole lot of trouble pulling information out of her. She wasn't exactly evasive, but she didn't put a lot into her answers either. More to the point, she was about as flirty as E had been, which was a disturbing development for a married father of three. Drawing up on Thief City on the third night away from home, Finn put together a decent camp for them, then went out and hunted up a couple of rabbits to eat.

Penny watched him work just as she always did, on this time she teased him about his domestic skills and asking what his wife was going to do when she got home from work to find no dinner on the table. "Wives," chuckled Finn. Penny goggled at him. Blushing, he told her, "it's wives. As in two." Face hot, she threw a pebble at him and said, "that's very naughty, Finn the Human!" "Wasn't on purpose," said he, with a sigh. Shaking his head, he told her about his trip to the Wishmaster's Maze. This time Penny gave him a look of complete astonishment. She knew the maze existed. She'd never heard of anyone actually surviving it. "Y-you could have wished for a dozen wives," she howled! "You could have had every treasure in the universe!" With a shrug, Finn said, "just wanted Simone back. Was happy with that."

Softly, she said, "you're a simple man, Finn the Human... Simple and sweet... I guess... I guess that's why I like you." Finn blushed and glanced away. Grinning, the young woman came to his side and grabbed his arm, saying, "you're a wonderful catch. They're very lucky." Finn's blush deepened, not least because he had this pretty girl holding his hand out here in the wilderness. It did feel nice to have somebody say they liked him. "Thanks," burbled Finn.

Grinning, he asked, "what about you?" "Me," she asked? The question seemed to take her by surprise. Finn said, "boyfriend?" Her face went red hot, and she wouldn't look at him for a moment. With a curious look, he asked, "girlfriend?" Penny glared at him. With a shrug, Finn admitted, "I kinda' learned about that stuff when I got older." E and Simone got a lot of speculation about what they did when he wasn't home. There were a lot of folks who thought they did it with each other. Finn had learned not to get sore about it. If nobody was getting hurt, what was the point?

With a sigh, Penny said, "no boyfriends... I... I'm not sure I could manage it..." "W-why," stammered Finn? That didn't make sense. The Penny he knew was confident and clever. Staring at the fire, the young lady admitted, "there were some guys... They... One of them noticed that I was... He trapped me in a house... And then they..." She couldn't say it. Finn's mouth came open. Rage flooded his heart, and he shouted, "where're these fucking guys?! I'm gonna'..." "It doesn't matter," murmured, Penny. "I'm just a thief..." "Yeah, it does," growled the Captain of the Guard! "I'm gonna' cut his nards off and feed 'em to him!" The hero had a long list of things he would have done to the man who'd hurt Penny.

"Th-that's sweet," murmured Penny. "I... That's ok. I don't need you to do that..." For the great hero, that seemed to be an unbearably bitter pill to swallow. Giving his hand a squeeze, she said, "we... we should probably grab some z's... Better start early tomorrow." "Alright," said the hero. Finn got up and went around the campsite setting tripwires. They were simple precautions, but pretty effective. Penny helped him out with some suggestions about how he could make them even more effective by lowering the height a little to make them harder to see.

As Finn got out his bedroll, the pretty redhead went and retrieved her little pack and lay it down on top of his blankets. Alarmed, Finn backed away from her. "It's a little cold," said she, "and I don't have a jacket. I was... hoping you wouldn't mind." He knew very well that he _should_ mind, given all that had gone on when E was trying to lure him to bang her. Still, knowing that Penny was cold, he couldn't exactly refuse. The two slipped into his blankets together with Penny snuggling up against him, spoon-fashion.

It was a tense night for Finn the human. If it wasn't the feeling of a suddenly adult Penny laying next to him–he was having trouble reconciling that pretty face with the cherubic little girl who'd seemed to have a heart made of darkness–it was the thought of what some dudes had done to her. It took the hero quite a while to relax, but in the end it was the idea of finding a way to help her that calmed him down. He could use somebody to work under cover in the Candy Kingdom. Penny knew a lot about thieves–a lot of stuff that Finn just didn't know himself. Drifting off, he resolved to spring the idea on her after they got out of Thief City.

Finn woke the following morning feeling a little groggy and having a morning-woody. Still half-asleep, he found his hands wrapped around something soft and familiar. Grinning, he gave E's boobies a squeeze. It was only after he'd done it that he remembered where he was. And who he was with. Terrified of what he'd just done, Finn jerked his hands back. "I don't mind," murmured Penny. Finn's jaw dropped, and a shiver of stark fear shot through him.

When he did nothing, she rolled over to face him and kissed him for all she was worth. She was a hot little number, and Finn couldn't help caressing her soft curves. Still, groggy and sleepy as he was, he knew better than to be doing that. This was way off limits! Breaking that kiss, the hero backed away. Penny began to cry when he did that, and she said, "I feel like... like I disgust you..." "N-No," stammered Finn. "Nothing like that. Pens... You're totes hot-stuff..." "Really," she breathed. There was a hitch in her voice that did things to him. "You don't think I'm tainted because... because they..." The way she said that–the pain in that question–came close to tearing his guts out.

"You're not dirty, Pens," rumbled Finn. "If I had that guy in front of me right now, I'd stab him in the boin loins and cut his guts out." He had a number of creatively fiendish ways to end the lives of the men who'd hurt her. Gathering the slim young woman into his arms, Finn said, "if I could go back and save you from those dudes, I'd do it in a minute." She turned that pretty face on him, and her green eyes sent chills through him as she said, "then why don't you want to have me..." Blushing to his hair, Finn said, "believe me, it ain't that I don't want to do you... Heck, I'd... I'd do it with you in a heartbeat, Pens, but I'm married. Simone and E and the kids depend on me." He couldn't hurt them all by cheating like that.

Nodding in understanding, Penny rolled over and climbed out of the blankets. Finn did the same. As Penny began gathering up her stuff, Finn rolled up the blankets and gathered up the rest of his gear. Most of it would stay here. They weren't going to need it in the town. It would just slow them down. It was time to move and move fast. He hoped to get in, get past the barrier outside the Thief King's castle, and get the Amulet of Power. Then they could get back to the Candy Kingdom. And when they got there, he was going to start working on finding the guys who'd hurt Penny. They were going to pay.

Thief City was much like he remembered it. Dark and sinister, with cramped little streets in a strange cavern under a broken hill, the place looked like some nightmare vision of a town. The people of the place were either shut in behind locked doors or out doing their dirt. Finn kept a hand on his gear at all times as they made their way through the darkened streets. Penny led the way, going up and up through the town through places and passageways he didn't know existed. As they walked, Finn asked Penny what she knew about the palace. The last he'd seen it, there was a barrier there that only the righteous could pass.

"There was," said Penny. "It went all the way around the place and even down into the ground. Funny thing, though. There was a chink in the armor–a passageway way down deep under the ground..." "Huh," said Finn. "Sure would have made it a lot easier getting in to return the treasure." Penny chuckled, "you're too big, hero. You wouldn't have made it. Takes a skinny little person to get through that!"

As she spoke those words, they came up on the Thief King's castle, and Finn found himself wondering how they were going to get in. Scanning the area, he found a grating high up on the wall. _Air-conditioning,_ thought the hero. Going in his pack, he brought out his crossbow and assembled it. Then he fitted a length of thin, strong line to one of his arrows. As Penny watched, he took careful aim at the wall above the vent and let fly. Penny laughed in delight as the arrow, with its heavy, hard tip, buried itself in the wall just above the vent. "Ok," said Finn. "You go up first. Take this rope and tie it off." He handed the pretty girl a stouter rope, declaring, "the thin rope'll hold you, and then I can climb up the thick one after you're inside."

Penny slipped the rope over her head, resting it cross-wise on her slim body. The heavy rope fell down between her perky boobies, reminding Finn of his earlier accident. He found himself struck again by her beauty. Penny was kinda' hot. Getting a firm grip on the thin line that hung from Finn's arrow, the young thief went swarming up the rope towards the grating. Finn watched just long enough to catch a glimpse of Penny's ass in a pair of ratty-tatty panties that weren't any nicer than her dress. He glanced away quickly, and he only looked up again when he felt the other rope drop on his head.

Penny was smiling when he reached the entry to the air-shaft. Finn blushed as he wondered if she knew he'd seen her butt. Once inside the air-shaft, Finn let Penny lead the way as they wove their way through the maze of air-shafts and vent gratings until at last they came to the Thief King's throne room. "This is it," whispered Penny. Nodding, Finn eased his way past her, feeling the uncomfortable sensation of her boobies against his body as they swapped places. Tieing off the rope, he popped the grate open and then slid down into the Thief King's throne room. Penny wasn't far behind, though this time Finn remembered to look away.

Just as Penny alit on the ground, the sounds of running feet announced that they were not alone. Nine men came through the entry carrying swords, pistols, clubs, and knives, and looking like they meant business. The fellow in the lead was big as Finn, with broad shoulders and rippling muscles, and his scarred-face looked as though smiles were an alien concept. Finn stepped in front of Penny, loosening the Finn-Sword in its place.

"You," snarled the big man! Holding up his empty hands, Finn declared, "I just want the amule..." "Kill them," snarled the Thief King! The eight men with him charged Finn and his companion as Finn drew the Finn-Sword. One hurled throwing knives, while two others drew dart-guns. The Finn sword easily deflected the knives, and Finn countered by slashing their owner's throat. As the dead man fell, clutching at his neck, Finn caught him on the fly, using him as a human shield. As the two gunmen lit up the corpse, the big man pressed in close. With a heavy, overhand blow, he opened one man from neck to hip. The other back-pedaled, but he wasn't fast enough. A jab to the face ended his career and life. Dropping the corpse, the hero clove another bandit's head from his neck, spraying his pal's with gore. The four remaining guards fled in a state of panic.

Finn calmly announced, "I don't care what you do here. I just want Princess Bubblegum's Amulet..." "I-I don't know what you're talking about," stammered the thief. Before he could say another word, a throwing knife buried itself in his throat. As Finn stared, the Thief King went down, clutching at his throat. The startled hero spun to face his companion. "Penny," he babbled. "Was he the one...?" The pretty young woman howled laughter. Shaking her head, she said, "nope. I killed him right after he did it to me, actually. He fell asleep."

Finn began to get that sinking feeling. She'd said it took a small person to navigate the passage under the barrier. None of those men had been small. But she was. Glancing back and forth between the dead man and the woman he'd sought to help, he had an epiphany. That man wasn't the Thief King. _Penny_ was. As she saw the light dawn in his eyes, the Thief King said, "he tried to take what he didn't _earn_. _I_ crawled through a filthy sewer. _I_ braved the traps. Then, when I'd done the work, he just barges in and tries to take it away." She spat on the corpse.

Drawing the amulet from a hidden pocket, she said, "thank-you, Finn. Couldn't have done it without you..." She'd duped him again. Coolly, Finn said, "ok, Penny. Same deal. Give me the amulet. It doesn't belong to you..." She laughed at him. Shaking her head, she said, "I'll be keeping it. I broke the barrier while trying to figure out how it worked... needs a new power source now..." Calmly, Finn said, "if you'd asked, I'd have helped you. Now we're even. Give me back the amulet." Penny chuckled, "or what? You'll wash me again?" As they circled, she said, "you can stay, Finn. You can be my dog." Finn glared at her. "No," she asked? "Maybe I'll keep that sword, too." Raising the amulet, she hurled a blast of energy at him. To her undieing shock, the sword turned that bolt aside, and then the followup too.

The Thief King found herself backpedaling as Finn advanced on her. She stepped back and back as the hero almost negligently turned aside scorching rays of light. This was all going terribly wrong. She'd planned this all out, including the backstab at the end, and it was all unraveling before her eyes. The Thief King shrieked in terror when one of those bolts of light ricocheted past her face. She was considering fleeing herself when her heel caught the edge of one of the pavers. Finn was already swinging when she went down. He'd intended to make her drop the amulet by cutting off her hand. Instead the blade struck her in the head.

Finn shuddered in memory. _She's dead, buddy,_ he told himself. He'd been telling himself that for years now. He'd been trying to forget Penny for years. Maybe someday he'd actually manage to do it. Shaking off the worry, Finn twisted the throttle and accelerated. He needed to get to Warrior Kingdom by nightfall. The sooner he took care of business, the sooner he could look in on his kids.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28:

The City of Towers as it was called could be seen for miles across Ooo's tortured landscape. Row upon row of the massive castle-keeps that were the city's namesake dotted the land, filling the sky with their twisted, jagged forms. In Warrior Kingdom, only the poor and indigent lived in anything like a normal house.

Finn rode into town and down the main street past massive columns of stone and under giant stone fortresses. He passed hundreds of people going about their business with swords or daggers on their hips. The town guard went through the motions, patrolling the streets by ones and twos. With no princess, they often went without pay for weeks, and they were notoriously corrupt. Finn did his best not to draw attention as he closed on the location of the target.

Erickson was one of the bigger players in Ooo's underworld. He was a bad boy with a habit of muscling in on thugs in other kingdoms. He used the chaos in Warrior Kingdom as a shield. There were only a handful of judges still alive and none stupid enough to sign papers sending Erickson to the Candy Kingdom. Finn had despaired of ever laying hands on him. He'd been off limits until today. The Guard Captain almost hoped he did get jiggy. It would be a pleasure to smash his nards.

Finn stopped short of Erickson's club and parked his bike in an alley, paying off one of the locals for the privilege. Then he headed off to do some sneaking and peeking. He would only get one good shot at this. He needed to be sure he got in and out of what was obviously a trap. Then he could see about going on the offensive. _Steady up, Finn,_ he told himself. Things were going to get a lot worse before they got better.

Finn's kids were no better off than Finn was with Fionna passing an especially unpleasant day sitting in the dark on the filthy floor of a cell in the Thief King's dungeon. She sat for hours pondering her life and wondering why Glob seemed to hate her. She didn't understand it. She didn't get any of it. She'd been a good girlfriend to Bubba–to Bon. She'd punched out the girl that was hassling him–some banana-chick named Barca. She'd had his back all the time they were in school together. It didn't make sense that he would end up her flippin' brother! What kind of karma was _that_?!

Then there was the thing with toast-face. _She_ was the one getting screwed! She'd had that little bitch come in, snatch her guy and stomp on her heart with both feet! She'd come here to rescue that bitch anyway. How did it figure that _she_ got captured?! It wasn't _fair_. And were they just going to let her _rot_ in here? Bon was probably playing kissy-face with toast-bitch right now!

"You stiffs crack me up," announced a voice.

Fionna looked up to find a boy standing outside her cell. "Every stiff I've ever seen's been stuck in that cell wonderin' how they got there," said the harsh-faced young man. He had rough-cut brown hair and a peach complexion, but it was his coal-dark eyes that captured Fionna's attention. It was like staring into darkness. The boy waved his hands in the air and, in melodramatic tones, declared, "oh! How did I ever get in this place?! Glob has surely turned his back on me!"

Face hot, Fionna growled, "fuck you!" The boy came up to the bars and said, "it's you that's fucked, blondie. Phone's ringin' off the hook! Ma's gettin' calls from all over Ooo. There's dudes from the mutant wastes to Jungle Kingdom in the south wantin' a piece of you. They all wanna' bone the last human girl..." Grinning an evil grin, he said, "they're gonna' bust the pussy wide open. Can't close it up..." He grabbed his crotch and said, "I might put in a bid myself. I won't get first dibs, but I'll get some..." Folding her arms across her chest, she retorted, "in your mind, loser."

Angry, Penny's son demanded, "what'd you call me?" "Loser, loser," retorted the blonde bunny. The angry young man shook the bars and cursed her. Fionna stepped back out of reach. Going into his pocket, he brought out her sword. Holding it up, he said, "maybe I let you out, blondie..." Fionna frowned at him. Tossing the pink crystal into the air and catching it, he added, "for _this_." At her frown, he said, "I saw you usin' it. You sliced and diced a good number of my ma's boys with it. Then you just folded it up somehow. Question is: _how_?" "What's it to you," rumbled Fionna? He chuckled, "what's it to _me_? You mean, what's it to _you_?!" Laughing, he told her, "I can get you out of here, goldilocks. Let you walk right out of here. Just give me the password for the sword. See, I can use a sword like this."

Fionna retorted, "I bet you can, but I wasn't born last week. If I give you what you want, you're just gonna' leave me in here." "You'll just have to take that chance, blondie," retorted the boy. "Will I," asked Fionna? "If you wanna' keep the mutants out o'that pussy, you will," laughed the thief. "Alright," said Fionna. "You open the cell, I give you the password." "Nah," said the thief. "You give me the password, I open the cell..." Fionna thought about that for a few minutes. "Alright," said she. "The password is quick-sword. Now open the door." Laughing the boy stepped back and walked away. "Later, bunny," said he. "Mmm... Lookin' forward t'some of that sweet human pussy." "Jerk," growled Fionna. The boy laughed and kept going.

Fionna moved to the back of the cell. He'd be back when that stupid password failed to work. He'd be mad, but he might be willing to cut a deal. The sword was valuable to her. She didn't want to give it away, but her life was worth more. She could always go back to the City of Crystal Fiends and get another one. Hours passed with Fionna's state of mind growing increasingly desperate. She'd always thought that things like this didn't happen to great heroes. Now she feared that her parents were right. She was a fool.

As the pretty blonde was contemplating how much nicer it was to get yelled at by Mr. K over her homework than getting gang-raped by a bunch of gross mutants, a growl of anger announced the return of Mr. Nasty. "You fucking bitch," snarled the teen. Fionna gave him a smile. "I wasn't born last week," chuckled the blonde. "You give me that fucking password, or I swear you'll regret it," growled the Thief Prince. Fionna shrugged and threw his words right back in his face, "I'm gonna' be gang-raped by a bunch of mutants and then sold into slavery. What the fuck do I care about what you have to say?" The boy calmed down then. "Alright, blondie," said he. "Just like before. You give me the password..." "Uh-uh," said Fionna. "Passage out of the city." "Sword ain't worth that," retorted the thief. "You gotta' come up off o'somethin' else..." "Like what," she asked? They were bargaining now. It looked like maybe she might talk her way out of this yet.

Licking his lips, the evil young man said, "you gimme' some o'that pussy, maybe I let you walk out of here..." Fionna was horrified! Her first time was supposed to be with the love of her life! That was supposed to be Bubba–Bon. She'd done everything in her power to get him to go all the way with her, but he'd stubbornly resisted. Ultimately that was a good thing. She was creeped out by how close they'd come to the whole two-headed baby thing. At the same time, she was now in an ugly spot, caught between bad choices. She didn't want this guy to be her first. He was that nasty bitch's son, and the pretty blonde imagined all kinds of unpleasant outcomes from that. He clearly didn't give two damns about her, and he'd already tried to take advantage of her. Still he was a lot better choice than a gross mutant. In the end, her choice wasn't really a choice. With a heavy-hearted sigh, she said, "ok..."

The young thief stood there a moment staring at her as he did the calculation in his mind. Part of him wanted to trick her. He didn't want to get in trouble with his ma for letting her prize prisoner go. At the same time, it would be easier to explain a missing prisoner than a prisoner with no cherry. As Fionna watched, he opened the door to her cell. As the pretty blonde stepped out, he said, "I want my reward right now. Then I'll take you out of here." Resigned to her fate, Fionna stood there waiting. Reaching out, he ran his fingers through her wavy blonde hair, working himself up. He could hardly believe it! He'd heard his mom talk about almost making it with Finn the Human, and he'd heard stories about how beautiful Finn's wife and daughter were. There were a lot of guys who wanted to get some of Fionna the Human Girl, but it looked like _he_ was going to be the one. With an eager grin on his young face, the Thief Prince leaned towards her, lips pursed to kiss her.

A noise behind him alerted the Thief Prince to the fact that they weren't alone. He spun around to find himself staring into the brown eyes of the wizard that had geeked so many of his ma's dudes. A shiver of fear went down his spine, and he thought of shouting for help. That wa when he felt something come out of his back pocket. The sword! He spun to face the blonde, grabbing the crystal and holding on. As the two had a tug-of-war over the strange crystal, the blade suddenly extended, burying itself in the young man's chest.

As both Fionna and Patrick stared, the Thief Prince toppled backwards, clutching at the place where the sword was buried inside his body. Blood was pouring out of him, and Patrick knew he was already dead. "Shit," said the young wizard! "We gotta' get out of here!" Fionna grabbed the hilt of the sword, jerking it out of her tormenter, causing even more blood to pour out of him. The two fled down the hall from whence Patrick had come.

As the young wizard led the way through the maze of darkened passages under the Thief King's palace, he asked the obvious question, "who was your new boyfriend?" "He wasn't my boy... he wanted t'rape me, dumbass," snarled Fionna. Patrick winced. That hadn't come out quite the way he expected. Momentarily, though, that was the least of their problems. There was a guard coming down the hall. Fionna stepped up in front of him, drawing her crystal blade as she did so.

And nothing happened.

The pretty blonde shook the sword at the guard, as he strode towards her with a confident grin on his face. "How'd you get out," he asked, his voice low and sinister–exactly the sort of voice that belonged here in this dark place. Licking his lips, he said, "maybe the boss'll let me have a taste for puttin' you back..." That was when Patrick darted around her and shot a bolt of ice through his neck. Grabbing a startled Fionna by the wrist, Patrick dragged her onward. It was plain to see that his way in had been found by the very man they'd just killed. Now he hoped there were no more guards in their way.

Arriving at the vent shaft that had let Patrick in, the pair found the grating back in its place. _Good thing I hid the rope,_ thought the wizard. "C'mon, Fi," said he. "I'll boost you up..." Fionna took one step forward and stopped. "I'm not wearing shorts," she murmured. "What," demanded Patrick? "I-I didn't put shorts on," said the warrior-girl. Rolling his eyes, an incredulous Patrick demanded, "are you going to stand there because you're afraid I might peep your panties?!" She glared at him. "Fine," said he. "I'll climb on _your_ shoulders!"

It took a little fumbling, but the warrior-girl _was_ pretty strong. The wizard climbed up on her shoulders and dragged the grating off the vent shaft. Then he had the rope, and he began to pull himself up. "Wait," hissed Fionna! "What about me?" "I didn't come all this way to leave you," growled Pat. Though it was tempting right now. Dropping the rope, he said, "come on."

The wizard now led the way through the maze of vent shafts and passages, back past the throne room, and all the way back to the original vent they'd come through at the start of this strange little odyssey. Patrick pulled the external grating into the vent with them, then, after taking a good look around, dropped the rope over the side and began to climb. He was almost at the bottom when he saw the thug waiting on him there in the darkness. _Great_ , he thought. This was just going great.

The thug had his sword in hand, waiting, when the wizard dropped off the rope, but he reckoned without the bunny. Fionna came sliding down the rope like she was on a thrill ride at Princess World. She came off the rope at the last minute, driving both feet into the bandit's head, knocking him down on the pavement and knocking him cold. "Phew," whistled Patrick. The pair ran. They ran until it felt like they couldn't run anymore. Then they stopped, caught a breath, and went back to running. Fortunately, nobody seemed to miss the dead dudes in the dungeon, and they got all the way to the edge of town without any further incidents.

Standing in the fading sunlight, both teens were grateful for the escape. They'd made it. Patrick turned to her and said, "so _I_ did the rescuing this time. Cool." Fionna muttered curses and started walking again. Irritated, Patrick grabbed Fionna's wrist and spun her around, growling, "you could try a little _gratitude_ , Fionna!" She just stared at him. Jabbing a finger in her face, the angry wizard said, "I saved you from being pimped-out and raped, blondie. A thank-you would be nice." Blushing to her hair, Fionna mumbled, "thanks." "What was that," said he, cocking a hand next to his ear? "Thanks, jerk-face," snarled Fionna. She didn't like having to admit that she'd needed rescuing, and his needling her about it made her want to bite.

Rolling his eyes, Patrick pushed past her, muttering, "don't know what I ever saw in you..." "What's that supposed to mean," demanded the warrior-woman? "Meant just what I said," retorted the wizard. "I don't know why I ever found you attractive..." Shaking his head, he laughed, "I'll admit it. I fell for the pretty face and the killer body, but you're a grade-A cunt, Fi." Laughing, he turned and started walking. Fionna stared after him, but Patrick never stopped walking. Startled and a little embarrassed, she started off after him, wondering how she was going to apologize. She wasn't good with that, and she'd hoped he would just let it go. Now she would have to figure something out.

They found Bon and French Toast sitting in her truck at the edge of the woods. Bon was in the driver's seat when they walked up, and he had his mother's blaster thingy in his hand as if in terror of what might come out of the undergrowth around them. Fionna immediately stuck out her hand for the key, and a sheepish Bon handed it over. Patrick was still in a kind of nasty mood, and he stepped off to one side, looking as though he might not get into the truck with them. "You alright," asked Boniface? "Been better," muttered Fi.

Shaking that off, the bad bunny said, "we need t'be out o'here. We should head east towards toast-face's people. We can drop her there..." "I-I refuse to leave my husband," retorted the breakfast treat. "Fine," muttered Fionna. "He can hang at your place. Right now, our home's not safe. Not until my dad gets here and smashes the rest of scar-face's face in." Motioning for Bon to get in back with his girl, Fionna said, "Patrick. Shotgun. I'm'a drive." The hostile wizard glared at her a moment. Then, with exaggerated care, he climbed into the truck beside her. Putting the truck in gear, Fionna set off.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29:

Finn was laid out on the bed failing utterly to sleep when a noise from the fireplace got his attention. The Captain of the Guard glanced in that direction as a voice announced, "hey, Finn. Turn your back for a minute." Finn turned away. A flash of light and heat announced an elemental had just come into his room. "You can turn back around," said Phoebe. Finn turned to find his old flame standing there in a sexy black number that she'd probably conjured from fireplace ash. It was the quintessential little black dress, hugging tight to her curves and coming down to mid-thigh, exposing a healthy amount of skin. "Smokin' hot as usual, Phoebes," declared Finn. The elemental blushed, and Finn could feel her momentarily grow hotter.

Finn had seen relatively little of Phoebe the last eight years or so. She was busy running a kingdom and defeating the plots of idiots who followed her dad. And when she didn't have that, she and Bonnie were both tied up in some hush, hush project that he wasn't allowed to know about. Striding across the room, the elemental woman slapped a fire-shield spell on him. The minute she was in range, she hugged him. Finn found himself with a face full of his ex's boobies. It was only when she'd done it that the Flame King realized her mistake. "Oops," said she as she stepped back. Rising, Finn gave her a less risque hug.

"Simone's worried sick," murmured the elemental. She hadn't seen Simone in such a state since Finn ran off alone. Finn sighed heavily. He wasn't doing so well himself. He was worried sick about Fionna, Bon, and Patrick. Phoebe let him go. "I've dispatched a team to find the kids, Finn," she said. "Gimme a day." "Thanks, FP," murmured Finn. She smiled back at him in fond remembrance of his old nickname for her. Brushing past, Finn went to the bin in the corner and retrieved coal to stoke the fire. Phoebe would need a bigger fire to leave. As he worked, the elemental watched his body-language, finding him just as distressed as his wives said he was.

Taking his hand, Phoebe asked, "what's going on? Who's this woman who's been raising all these problems?" "I knew her," said Finn. "Years ago. She was a nice person. Her hubby dieing's got her all twisted..." She was making dangerous moves, and Finn couldn't get through to Bonnie that she needed to look into this. "Half the time she won't even return my calls," Finn complained!

Phoebe rolled her eyes. Typical Bonnie. The world was on fire, and she was fixated on her latest project. "She'll answer _my_ calls," muttered the Flame King. Crossing the room to Finn's side, she said, "I don't like you going into this thing by yourself, babe. This is dangerous. You're not at home." The people here weren't going to be as intimidated by his name as Bonnie's peeps were. "I know Phoebes," sighed Finn. This was worrying him too, but he expected Cherry had her goons watching him. If she saw him getting help from somebody, she might go after his family. Phoebe kissed his cheek before turning to go. As Finn watched, Phoebe walked into the fire and, in a burst of flame and smoke, was gone, leaving him alone with her scent. She'd smelled like roses that time.

Shaking off thoughts of his ex and all the ways he wanted her, the hero went to the window and peered out. It was well past dark. It was about time he was getting up anyway. Finn went into the bathroom, quickly washed, and got dressed in the clothes he'd come in. He was a couple of days on this shirt and four on this pair of pants, and he didn't much like it. He'd had to hustle out to Cherry's place without a chance to get clean clothing. Now he was going into a possible fight without decent weapons. It was the tightest of tight spots, and he was apprehensive as hell as he went down the stairs to the common room.

Passing the front desk, Finn left a generous tip with the attendant on duty. He needed his motorcycle ready to go when he got back. He would be leaving town in a pretty big hurry. Then, after getting his bearings, he stepped out into the night. Mr. Erickson's place awaited. The wind was out of the north instead of the west, carrying cool air instead of the sulfurous miasma from the Fire Kingdom. Finn was grateful for the breeze as it cleared the last of the cobwebs from his mind. Loping along down the streets, he passed women doing what women did in a rough place like this. He passed thieves who were looking for easy marks, and he passed town guards turning a blind eye to all of it.

Finn passed right on by. He couldn't stand guys who refused to stand up for the little guy, but it wasn't his place to straighten that out. He hoped that whatever guy the princesses chose to run things here would finally take charge and start straightening things out. The folk here deserved better.

Erickson's place was hopping as he came walking up out of the darkness. You could see the signs for the place for half a mile up the street. He had lights shining into the sky, and there were crowds of people out front trying to get in. Finn knew the game. You only got in if you were a girl or had a girl with you. Dudes going stag could expect to be cooling their heels a while if they got in at all. Thinking quickly, he turned to one of the faces standing there in the shadows of the street and said, "come with me..." The green-skinned amazon looked him up and down, her pretty face contorting into a scowl. "It's twenty coins a night," she started to say, but Finn had already dropped a bag in her hand. The pretty woman hefted that bag, listening to the sound of coins jingling, and her demeanor changed in its entirety. Hearing that jingle, another girl attached herself to his other arm, announcing, "big man like you, you could probably handle two or three..."

Momentarily, it looked rather like a fight might break out. The first ho got annoyed and cussed the second. The second, very much offended, cocked her fist like she'd punch her colleague. Finn interrupted the impending violence by shoving coins into the second girl's hand. Looking around, he locked eyes with a third pretty face and grabbed her by the shoulder, pushing her ahead of him. Whistling, he motioned for the other two to follow.

At the entry to the club, the bouncers took one look at the big man and the three girls and escorted them to the head of the line. In short order, Finn was bound for a table with his three giggling companions. None of the three knew just what to make of this. Rare was the man who had the cash to pay for three girls at once. Settling in at the table, Finn took a good look around him. He'd memorized the exterior layout and figured out which doors opened where. The place was set up as a theater with tables instead of rows of seats in front of the stage. The kitchen was in the basement, and Finn imagined he'd find the boss down there too in his office.

He handed a third bag of money to the last of the women, saying, "get us some drinks." The pretty blonde bounced out of her chair and scooted across to the bar. While Finn scanned the scene, checking out the interior security, the brunette on his right snuggled up to his side. She was of a body-type with Dr. P–big, juicy ass, perky, plump tits, and narrow waist. Unlike Drew, she let her hair grow long, and she didn't mind letting that body show. It seemed hard to believe that the good doctor came from a place like this. "Mmm," said the brunette, as she teased the hard muscle of his thigh with a finger. "I bet you could go a long time..."

The two girls almost got into a fight for a second time as the brown-haired girl on his left actually slipped off her chair and tried to unfasten his pants. Finn shoved her hands away from there. "Ok," said he. "I'm'a go now. You girls stay and have a good time if you like. There's sixty coins apiece in each of those bags." Enough to pay off their pimps for three nights in a row. The brown-haired girl grabbed his hand to stop him, saying, "y-you don't want us?" "Nope," said Finn. "Married." And he stepped off into the crowd.

 _That was awkward,_ the hero decided, as he slipped through the packed mass in the room. He could see how dudes got in trouble. If you could throw down a few coins and get whatever kind of girl you liked, why go through the hassle of getting married and raising kids? Of course he would have missed having Billy, Fi, and Star. He wasn't sure he really would have liked that life.

The MC on the stage was announcing the show just now, urging everybody to take their places. Finn stopped at the hallway leading to the back of the show-hall and watched a few moments. To his surprise, the show was like nothing he'd ever seen, as a horde of scantily clad women, most with their boobies hanging out, came out of the back. Some came decorated in plumage like peacocks. Others came in elaborate frills and ruffles. Far from dancing, they sort of glided around the stage, showing off their beautiful bodies. It was crazy stuff. Shaking his head, Finn slipped into the hallway, headed towards the bathrooms in back.

Behind him, he could hear the people clapping and cheering over the thunderous music that was playing. That would be excellent cover for what he was about to do. Reaching the end of the hall he ducked into the men's room for a moment. Then, when nobody came in to investigate, he stepped back into the hallway. The stairs down to the basement beckoned with their 'Staff Only' sign. Without a moment's hesitation, Finn headed down the stairs.

The world below the stage was a chaotic realm of kitchens and dumbwaiters and dressing rooms with cooks and waiters running back and forth with food and drink and scantily clad women going upstairs to dance and coming back down again when done. Finn wove his way through the press, bound for the hall on the far side. Nobody stopped him. They were all too busy working. Indeed, nobody even paid any attention to him until he was halfway down the hall. By then, it was clear he was a man on a mission, and the waiters and dancers let him be.

The office was clearly marked, both by the sign on the door and the ornate nature of that door, with its deeply burnished frame and the soft, plush carpet in front of it. Finn turned the knob and pushed.

And then he was inside.

"Who the fuck are you," growled an angry man in a heavy leather jerkin? "Here to see Mr. Erickson on behalf of Cherry Cream Soda," replied Finn. "Finn the Human," rumbled a voice from the hero's right. John Erickson came out of his private bathroom, drying his hands as he did so. Passing his chief henchman and bodyguard, the gangster handed off the towel and said, "don't you recognize a celebrity, Jungqvist? This is Finn the Human, the Hero of Ooo. He smashed those alien goombahs that came here to blow up the planet." The five men in that room went very pale. If they didn't know his face, they knew his name.

The mob-boss went and sat behind his ornate oak desk. Leaning forward, his bushy eyebrows and white mustaches giving him the look of a hostile dog, John Erickson said, "since when do you work the side of the devil?" "Got an offer I couldn't refuse," replied Finn. "Cherry Cream Soda says you owe her some cash. I'm here to pick it up..." That seemed to strike the gangsters as hilarious. They laughed and laughed. "Just like that, huh," chuckled Erickson? Finn shrugged and said, "guys should pay their debts." "What she paying you to come down here," asked the thug? "She and I have an arrangement," replied Finn.

Leaning back in his chair, the gangster laughed. He could imagine what kind of arrangement that was. The bitch had tried to get her claws into him not long ago. "What? She give you some o'that nasty pussy," asked one of the gangsters? Finn shrugged and said, "she's kind of persuasive... Now, about that cash..." "I had some of that," chuckled Mr. Erickson. "Didn't I boys?" The gangsters chuckled as if they got a big kick out of that. Grinning, the mob-boss asked, "how did it feel to get used pussy?" Finn smiled in bemusement and said, "it was pretty good pussy after I pushed past the used part." The gangster's mouth came open, and the laughing ceased abruptly. The thugs stared at the do-gooder as if they couldn't believe he'd just dissed their boss like that.

The fight was on quick as that. The gangster's chief lieutenant came rushing across the room. Finn drove his boot into his right knee, dropping him like a bad habit. Launching a roundhouse kick, he flattened the injured thug. Two more gangsters grabbed him by either arm. Strong as they were, they were no match for Finn's cunning. He slid his arms out of the overcoat he'd been wearing, leaving them holding onto nothing. A punch to the throat left one gasping on the floor for air. Finn bashed the second with his forehead, stunning him, then finished him off with a knee to the nads, and a fist just at the tip of the sternum. The remaining two guys cleared leather, with one drawing a dart gun, while the other drew a sword.

Finn was far faster than they were expecting. Spinning to his left, he dodged the dart gun's fire and slung a chair at its owner. The chair caught the gangster in the chest and knocked him down. That gave Finn the space to deal with the guy with the sword. He was fast, but his technique sucked. Stepping inside his reach as he slashed and chopped, the hero threw a block, twisted his arm and snapped the bone at the elbow. Catching the sword as it fell, Finn hurled it at the gunman as he tried to get to his feet. Turning back to the screaming swordsman, Finn snapped his neck like a twig.

And then he was alone with Mr. Erickson.

As the gunman lay there gurgling around the blood filling his lungs, Finn turned to face the chief gangster. John Erickson had never seen anything like that at all. He'd honestly sat there rooted to the spot in terror. "So," said Finn. "Five-hundred-thousand..." "I-I ain't got that kind of dosh on hand," stammered the gangster. He was strapped. He'd sank a lot of his liquid cash in the club. Finn looked around him and said, "this club looks like it's worth a lot..." "You ain't taking my club," growled the gangster. As he reached for the dart-gun hidden under his desk, Finn hurled his dagger, sinking it to the hilt in John Erickson's right eye. The gangster lay there sprawled in his chair as Finn came around the heavy oak desk.

Calmly, the hero turned out the gangster's pockets. The thumpin' beat was still playing upstairs. Apparently nobody had heard the commotion. Finn collected anything that looked interesting. Then he rifled through the desk, coming up with a deed for the club. Folding that up in a pocket, he turned to go. That hadn't been as awful as he'd feared.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30:

"Interesting," rumbled the crime boss as she stared down at the deed on the table. "He spent whatever money he owed you," replied Finn. "On that." He found himself fidgeting a little. He was very nervous about this. Cherry nodded thoughtfully. She would have to forge Erickson's signature on the deed, but she had an army of forgers. "Congratulations, hero," said she, "you pass the test." She took the deed and put it in her desk. "What now," asked Finn? "My aren't we eager," teased the older woman. Finn flushed, telling her he was about as unhappy as unhappy got. Smiling a sinister smile, she said, "I'm allowing your wife's distant relations back into the city... They work for me. Understand..." With a nod, Finn replied, "but the first time I hear of somebody pimping a kid, they're done."

Cherry was on her feet, shouting, "who do you think you're talking to?!" Leaning forward, Finn retorted, "I don't care what you do to me or my family. Those are the rules in this kingdom..." The thug standing beside the desk moved just then. Finn saw the move out of the corner of his eye. His elbow intercepted the guy's neck before he could finish extending his arms. Coolly, Finn said, "he'll live." They stood staring–glaring really–at each other for several seconds more as the thug wheezed on the floor. Coolly, Cherry said, "we have a deal, _Captain_. No kids." Without a further word, Finn turned and stalked out. "You can go, Finn," said the crime boss. Finn kept walking.

Cherry stared after him, licking her lips sensually in unconscious habit. Her heart was beating a mile a minute. And strangely enough, she felt a little creamy. Sitting down again, she told the injured gangster, "go get that looked at... And have the car brought around." The hapless thug gathered himself to his feet and staggered out.

Meanwhile, Finn rode off in his truck bound not for his office or even home but for Pop's Hardware. Star had been hiking the hour's walk to the store and back. That would have to get altered. More to the point, he had to have a chat with his daughter. This had been festering a while. He'd trusted in what Billy had told them, but now he needed some real answers. On the way there, he thought about how desperate things were and how quickly it had all spiraled out of control. It seemed like yesterday he was cheering the formal courtship of his second-born child. Now all his kids were in grave danger, and some didn't even know it! Now, more than ever, he needed Bonnie to get involved before they lost everything.

Star was in the parking lot loading fertilizer into a customer's car when Finn pulled up. She was wearing tight shorts and a crop top in white, and all the boys and men near the store were drooling. She looked so much like her mom. Far from being the family's plain-Jane or ugly duckling, she was smokin', and he realized then that she was almost grown. As Finn watched, the customer handed her a fabulous tip. He'd heard some of what her grandmother had said about the way she should behave, and he didn't like the way those things put his girls at risk. _She's growing up, Finn,_ he thought. _She has to learn._

As he watched, the customer–creepy as he was–had words with his kid. Apparently the dude got fresh as Star slapped him hard enough to knock the slobber out of his mouth. When he might have hit her, she kicked him in the boin loins. As Finn exited his truck, the injured man hobbled back to his vehicle. Star was watching him go when Finn walked up. "Hey, kiddo," announced the Captain. "Daddy," burbled Star, her eyes gone wide? She threw herself on him and hugged him for all she was worth. Some of the dudes hanging around the place took that moment to disappear. Peeping Finn the Human's kid was a known health-hazard.

Breaking that embrace, she grabbed his collar and shook him hard enough to rattle his teeth. "You scared us all," she growled! "Where have you been?!" Finn grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to his truck. When they were seated inside, he turned to her and said, "it was Junior, wasn't it?" Her body-language answered the question without her lips moving once. "I _saw_ her, Star," muttered Finn. "She works for the boss of bosses. They _used_ you. The young girl goggled! Glancing down at her feet, she said, "JJ told me they hurt people. She said they stole money from the poor... that some of them supplied dope and sold girls against their will." "Well she didn't lie about that," rumbled Finn. It was a hell of a lot to think about. Abruptly, the teen asked, "can I go get my stuff?" "Ch'yeah," said Finn.

The pretty teen hopped out and went back inside. She returned wearing jeans and a tee-shirt and carrying a bag. When she had settled herself in the seat and buckled up, Finn handed her a familiar packet and put the car in gear. Star stared down at that packet. "Why," she burbled? "You're going to earn it," said Finn. Now she gave him a look of suspicion. With a heavy sigh, Finn said, "Billy's compromised, Star. He doesn't even realize it." Star blushed. She'd done all she could to protect Junior–so her brother didn't find out she still hung out with gangsters. She felt like a fool. "W-what do you need from me," the teen stuttered?

Reaching in a pocket, the hero took out a small, shiny object. Taking her hand, Finn pressed the hard-edged chunk of metal into her hand, saying, "congratulations, deputy..." Star goggled at him. He couldn't really mean? "You start tomorrow," said Finn. Star stared down at the badge. She'd never been much interested in what her dad and brother did. Now her dad had just kind of drafted her. _You helped cause this,_ she thought. "Ok," said she. "When do you need me?" "First thing tomorrow," her father replied. "You're going to need a car. A good one. I can't give you one..." "Undercover, then," rumbled Star. "She plays for keeps, babe," replied Finn. "If they catch you..." She knew. "What's the job," asked the wizard? "For now," asked Finn? "Surveillance..."

They were almost home. Star stuffed the money in her bag. Finn admonished her, "not a word to anybody. Buy a new phone tomorrow too." Acknowledging his instructions, she asked, "any word on Fi, Pat, and Bubba?" With a sigh, Finn replied, "nothing yet. Phoebe's sending some of her guys out looking." He could see she was worried. At the same time she was brave as her mom. Finn gave her hand a squeeze.

The pair climbed out of the car then and went into the house. Climbing up to the second floor, they were surprised and a little disconcerted to find both Simone and Emeraude gone and a note on the table. Finn picked up the note and read it aloud as his new deputy looked around their place. "Looks like E's gone to Wiz-City and Simone's at Simon's place," said Finn. "I guess we're on our own. I'll go fire up the barbecue." The note had made a big point of suggesting he barbecue for dinner. Finn had a suspicion about that. Heading downstairs, he got some good hickory out of the woodshed and lay it in the fire-pit. As his eyes surreptitiously scanned the area, he carefully lit the fire.

By the time he'd finished that, Star was at the door, asking for help with their dinner. Finn went back inside and helped her get the steaks, sausages, and burgers out of the dumbwaiter. Heading back outside, he set the tray down beside the fire pit and began carefully arranging their dinner on the grating. "I'm'a go grab a fast shower, dad," said Star. "Ok," said Finn. "See you in a bit." Turning back to the job at hand, Finn put another sausage on the grill and carefully rolled it into place.

"I don't know how you can eat that stuff," burbled Phoebe as sausage-grease dripped into the fire with a crackling sound. "You eat coal, babe," Finn reminded his ex, as her face appeared in the flames of the fire-pit. Chuckling, Phoebe moved on, "they're safe, Finn. I had Flint look in on them. They did manage to rescue French Toast, and they're now holed up east of Breakfast Kingdom. How about you guys?" With a heavy sigh, Finn replied, "Simone's spending more time at Simon and Betty's place. E's spending her time in Wiz-City. Officially she's monitoring the upcoming election." It got both out of danger for a while. "And Star," asked Phoebe? With another heavy sigh, Finn admitted, "I had to tell her." Frowning, Phoebe asked, "what does _that_ mean?" Shaking his head, Finn said, "I had to deputize her..." "You _what_ ," demanded Phoebe? With a shake of his head, Finn said, "I had to. I had no choice." With this whole thing threatening to blow up any day, his son in Junior's pocket, and Bonnie not answering her phone, he was by himself!

Moving on, Phoebe said, "I tried to get hold of Bonnie, Finn. I... I can't get through to her. Her phone rings straight through to voice mail every time. Even when I asked her for a progress report on... on a project we were working on, I get nothing." Things had never been this bad with Bonnie. She'd always gotten back to Phoebe eventually–even if it took a couple of hours. Now, Phoebe was starting to worry that something very dangerous was happening. "Then I force the issue," said Finn. "Tomorrow." "Ok, Finn," said Phoebe. "I have to go. I'll... I'll check up on the kids and make sure they're alright."

Meanwhile, Cherry Cream Soda went walking into the a secure room in the heart of an old warehouse south of the railroad yard. She'd come to own the place through one of her numerous front companies, and she'd use it to smuggle James back into town. Now it had an altogether different guest.

Bonnibel Bubblegum wore a bleak expression as her abductor crossed the room. "Not sleeping," asked Cherry? "Good..." Bonnie flushed, but she demanded, "what do you want from me? You have no right to keep me here!" "It's simple," Cherry declared. "I want the decorpsinator serum. I want the cloning formula." Bonnie felt a shiver of icy fear. Bravely she tried to stand up to her tormenter, demanding, "why are you doing this?" "Why," asked the ice-cold soda? "Because my husband gave his _life_ for you, and you were content to let him die. Meanwhile James acts like a clown and throws his life away protecting you from a skinned knee, and you restore him twenty-five times. You let that fucking witch take my husband when you had the power to save him!"

Bonnie flinched back from her. She'd never considered the outcome of saving James. Honestly, she had a very bad habit of acting on the spur of the moment. When emotions were running high, as they had been the day she and her friends got trapped in that pit, Bonnie tended to react rather badly. When you added in her very controlling nature, things got just a little worse. Now she was paying a steep price. As if all that wasn't bad enough, she had a serious problem with carrying her burdens alone and ignoring other people and their advice. _And how much of this mess could have been averted if I'd trusted Bon with the problem with the Spoon or listened to Finn when he tried to warn me about James,_ thought the pretty princess?

She was in a bind–trapped in this room with no way to call for help, a madwoman intent on doing her harm, and no way to know if Finn even realized she'd been taken. She'd been snatched off the street on her way home. Did anyone even know she was missing? The only thing that was certain just now was that she dared not give this woman what she wanted. She'd screwed up with the decorpsinator serum. Twice. She'd come very close to ushering in the zombie apocalypse. Twice! This woman was no chemist. They would find themselves overwhelmed by zombies. Again.

Even if this bitch succeeded, how long before the world was overrun with candy-people? Who would decide who got to live and who had to die? She could see _wars_ fought over a technology she should never have created. "I can't give you the formula," the princess replied. "It's too dangerous." Striding forward, Cherry jabbed a finger at Bonnie and snapped, "you'll do it! If I don't have the formula in three weeks, I will kill your son. A week after that, I will kill your daughter. Then it'll be _your_ turn."

Silence reigned as the two stared at each other. Cherry thought the message was received as the Princess stared at her in terror now. The little woman turned to go, and the terrified royal watched her cross the room. At the door, the gangster coolly asked, "by the way... what's Project Centurion?" Flushing, Bonnie looked away. "You'll tell me eventually," said the gangster. "Or you'll die." Coolly, Bonnie said, "I need materials. It isn't as simple as just giving you a list of ingredients. The formula is very hard to mix properly and very dangerous if you get it wrong." Bonnie knew Rootbeer Guy had holed up in his apartment to hide from the zombies. It was how he'd met Cherry. "Alright," said the gangster-girl. "Give my men a list." Without a further word, she walked out and slammed the door behind her.

The little woman went back down the hall, her mind wandering, thinking about what-ifs and future possibilities. She'd done it. She'd given herself no more than a one in ten chance when she'd started down this road eighteen years ago. She'd assumed she'd be caught. She'd come very close the afternoon where Finn the Human killed one of her business associates. He'd terminated Steven Twist with prejudice and come storming through his house looking for contraband. Cherry had walked out of that basement, and Finn had been so surprised to see her, he hadn't even bothered looking at the papers in her satchel.

She'd expected to be jailed for the crimes she committed, and there were honestly moments where the evil she had to commit became too heinous to live with. She'd carried on through, and now she could see the goal in sight. She'd be able to revive her husband. She'd see him again. Only this time _they_ would be in control of the Kingdom.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31:

"I'm sorry, Captain Finn," said Peppermint Butler. "Princess Bubblegum left strict instructions that she not be disturbed. I'm afraid I can't let you come down to the lab. It's simply out of the question." An irritated Finn turned and stormed off. He went down the stairs to his truck, fuming the whole way. Almost before he'd gotten to the door, his phone rang. Picking up the phone, he answered, "yeah?" "Hello, Finn," announced Cherry. Finn shivered. The timing was too perfect. Was Peppermint Butler a spy? There were a lot of people there on the square. _Could be anyone,_ he thought. "What do you need," he asked, as he settled behind the wheel? Amusement showing in her voice, she said, "it's what _you_ need, Finn. There's an illegal still outside of Cocoa city. Their distilling psychedelic chocolate. I hear a batch got loose in a school here, and three kids had to go to the hospital. Why don't you go look in on it?"

Finn couldn't help the frown that formed on his face. "What? They owe you money," he asked? With an amused chuckle, Cherry replied, "I'm just a concerned citizen... Be a good boy and go take care of it." Without a further word, she hung up on him. Muttering curses, Finn headed out. There was no doubt in his mind that she was watching now. Question was what could he do about it? He feared she'd done something to Peebles, and he couldn't get in to find out what.

Meanwhile, Finn's kids sat in Fionna's truck, waiting on Patrick to come out of the Hard-Heart Love Motel. He'd gone in alone to secure two adjoining rooms because Fionna was too well known and the two Royals would have attracted too much attention. It was the only shelter they could afford with the cash Pat had on him. He'd brought his savings with the intent of hitting Banana Man's lot after dropping off Fionna's ID. Now it was all the money they had to live on–at least until their families found them.

Fionna was on lookout while Bon and his girl slept in the back. She was down deep in a bad emotional place right now, wondering how she was going to cope. Her mind kept going over and over how it felt to be so _alone_. She kept thinking about the jerk who tried to take advantage of her. And she felt stupid for still being a virgin. Stupid and ugly. She wanted a boyfriend, but she was unsure about even trying anymore. As she stewed, the passenger door opened, revealing Patrick. The wizard was still wearing the frown he woke up with, and now he demanded, "didn't you see my signal?!" The whole point was not to attract attention.

"No," growled Fionna. "Did you get the rooms?" "Just one," muttered Patrick. "It was all I could afford." "Good enough," Fi replied, as she started the truck. With Patrick giving directions, the bunny drove around back of the hotel. It was a seedy, run-down place, and Fionna found her hackles went up at the sight. She didn't trust it and didn't hesitate to say it. "You got a better idea," demanded Patrick, "or do you just want to gripe like the typical girl?" That stung, and the bunny clammed up.

Arriving at their unit, Fionna woke the royals while Pat got the door open. As soon as she had the all-clear, Fi hustled Bon and toast-face inside and shut the door. They found themselves in a nasty room with pink carpet stained in some nebulous substance and walls that had little bits of food stuck to them. The grody red bath-tub sat off to one side and looked big enough for two or three. The space was dominated by a massive, heart-shaped bed covered in red sheets and blankets.

Fionna lost it. She couldn't help it. She just laughed and laughed. After a moment, Bon asked, "what's so funny?" Chuckling, Fi explained, "Star's grammy used to do business in a room like this." Both boys knew what kind of business she meant. The candy-prince blushed to his hair. Patrick joined Fi in howling laughter. French Toast simply didn't get it, and nobody enlightened her.

Moving on, Fionna took out her sword and tried to will it to extend. Unfortunately it refused to budge. Her eyes flicked to Patrick. She didn't want his help. She wanted to belt him. Unfortunately she didn't have a lot of choices. "Pat," said she, "I would greatly appreciate your help with my sword." She was vividly aware of every face there staring at her. She especially wanted to claw toast-face's eyes out. After a long while, Patrick said, "sure. Why not?" He followed the leggy blonde into the bathroom. Once there, Fionna lay the crystal on the sink.

"What's the problem," the wizard asked? "Don't know," Fi answered. "It won't extend." Patrick rolled his eyes, saying, "that's helpful." Which came as a slap to the face for the warrior girl. "I don't understand why you're being such a jerk-face to me," muttered Fionna. "Reminder," replied Patrick, as he studied the damaged sword. That puzzled her. He could see it in her eyes. The ditzy blonde didn't get it. He didn't enlighten her.

Finally Fi asked, "reminder of what?" He didn't really want to explain. Still, seeing that she'd bug him until he did, the wizard answered, "I'm a DGTOW dude. A red-pill man..." Which of course was of no use to her.

Using his wizard-eyes, Patrick scanned the crystal. "Not sure how you were able to make this work in the first place," he said. "Huh," said Fionna? "Why?" "For one, you're not a crystal-fiend," Patrick replied. With a frown twisting her beautiful face, the bunny asked, "why's that matter?" "You don't have silica skin," said the wizard. Before she could complain about the word he used, he explained, "they can't eat cheesy fries. Organic matter doesn't work for them. The sword's made of crystal. You're not..." Frowning, she retorted, "they could wear my leather shoes just fine. What if the crystal's more like a shoe to them..." Patrick frowned himself. From the mouths of dingbats.

"What's a DGTOW," rumbled Fionna at last? Looking up, Pat replied, "Dude Going His Own Way..." Her face curled into a frown, as she worked her way through that. "Wouldn't that be DGHOW instead," she babbled? That actually made him laugh. Fionna correcting him on something! Who would have guessed? "Yeah," said he. "Except that there's a few of us. It's plural. Dudes goin' their own way." "W-what's it mean," she asked? With a shrug, Pat replied, "means we don't chase hot girls and throw ourselves at their feet anymore." Fionna goggled at him.

Patiently, Patrick said, "I'm a Beta-dude, Fi. I'm not a scary bad-boy like Marshall or a rich dude like Boniface. I'm just an ordinary guy who has to work part-time to pay for gas-money and bust my butt in school. I got picked on by jocks and laughed at by girls. But... Someday I'll have people paying me for my services as a wizard. I can go pretty far with it. I'm good at what I do... And girls... after they get tired of being dumped by bad-boys will be chasing me... Except, well... what do I get out of it...?"

Fionna gobbled and said, "what do you mean, 'what do I get out of it?!' Y-you know what you get..." Pat laughed and said, "after somebody else already had all the fun?" Fionna blushed at what he was implying. "I don't want to be loved for the coins I have in the bank or the size of my house, Fi," said Pat. "I wanna' be loved for who I am..."

Folding her arms in front of her, Fionna retorted, "has it ever occurred to you that maybe you have to change too?" He looked up at her with the most puzzled expression she'd ever seen. "Maybe you'd attract more girls if you were a little bad, Pat," said she. "Maybe girls'd notice you if you showed off those arms a little. You're pretty buff for a wizard-dude." Pat stared at her, his eyes suggesting he'd never considered that. Warming to the subject, she said, "if you got them to see you were a little bad, then, when they saw you were a good dude underneath, you could really reel them in!"

It was a crazy–and uncomfortable conversation. Patrick moved on. "I got good news and bad, Fi," said he. "Ok," murmured the buxom blonde, "bad first." "The sword has to be attuned to its owner," the wizard explained. "Good news is that you appear to be right. The sword could probably be attuned to you..." "Wh-what do I do," Fionna asked? With a shrug, Patrick said, "that I dunno. For now keep it with you. It worked after you had it for a while. Maybe it'll work again." In the now, Patrick was exhausted. He wanted sleep.

They went back outside to find the royals curled up on the nasty bed. With a sigh, Patrick went and curled up on the couch. Fionna took guard duty, checking the locks and looking in on her truck. She was torn. The thieves had her spare key–along with her wallet and ID. She was half afraid they would steal it. On the other hand, if she disabled it, they lost their shot at a quick getaway. It was a vexing problem her dad had never had. In the end, she settled in a chair by the window where she hoped to watch their ride without being seen.

Her dad spent the day tracking a still and its owner through the trackless swamps south of Cocoa City. In the end, he did make an arrest, but it hardly made sense to his son or the Sheriff of Marshmallow County. The bananas could have done the same, and Finn had gotten to the point where he was happy to let them. Until today. Until he'd become a puppet on a string. Muttering curses, Finn went to climb into his truck to start the long drive home. "Dad," asked his son? Finn stopped, and his expression was about as dire as Billy had ever seen. The younger man had been trying to feel him out all day about marrying JJ, but Finn wasn't much interested in personal business.

"Dad," said he, "I need an answer. I need to know what you're going to do. I'd rather have it all be legit now, but I'll just wait and do it on my own if I don't get your permission." Emotions flashed across his father's face. He could see there was anger there, but there were other things–things he didn't understand. His father's phone began to ring, and the older man muttered curses as he checked the number. "I need to go," said Finn. "Do... what you think is right, Bill." And just like that, he went tearing out of there.

Rolling down the highway at high speed, Finn flicked the phone and answered, "yeah? Need me to go squash some other loser who owes you money?" "Why, _Finn_ ," Cherry responded. "You promised to take me to dinner and the opera tonight. Surely you're not going to be late?" Finn blushed to his hair. He hadn't promised any such thing, but he knew he wasn't getting out of it regardless. She was playing with him. But she had the upper hand. She had his family under the gun, and, dare he think it, she had Bonnie too.

"I-I'll be there," rumbled Finn. "Wh-where'm I picking you up?" "You've been to my home, Finn," she said. "You had dinner there..." "Ok," sighed Finn. "I'll... I just got done. I gotta' go home and clean up." "Of course, honey," said she. "See you in a bit. Show start's at seven." Cherry hung up. Bitterly angry, Finn put his foot to the floor. He had to hurry.

Simone was home when he got back, and Finn was a little startled to see the crown on her head. It gave him the willies just looking at it. She had a pile of paper spread out on the table in front of her, and Finn almost went straight on by. He hadn't seen his wife in a couple of days though. "Hi," he rumbled. Simone looked up to find her husband standing there staring at her, and his expression was bleak. Rising, she came to him, and her eyes were sympathetic. "She's jerking your chain, isn't she," asked the sorceress? Finn nodded. With a sigh, the sorceress reached out and hugged him. Bleakly, he told her, "I... I gotta go... I have to go to the opera... With her." Tugging on his chin, Simone laughed, "maybe I should have thought of that..." Finn blushed. He was a down-to-earth kinda' guy. "The crown...," said Finn. "It... It looks good..." Simone flushed. She wasn't exactly thrilled by this either, and she said so.

Sniffing the air, she said, "go get cleaned up, honey. So you can do what you have to do. Phoebe came by and took some money for Fi and Bubba. She was looking at providing them with guards..." That made him feel a little better. He was letting his kids down. He didn't know where Marshall was. Fi and Bon were on the run from the Thief King. Billy was walking straight into a trap, and he couldn't warn him. He dared not go and see Shoko, and he'd had to draft Star. He felt like a failure. "Upstairs, my boy," Simone admonished him. Nodding, Finn got on his way.

He took a quick shower. He wanted to stand there and soak, but he was running late already, and he feared what Cherry would do if he didn't toe the line. When he got out of the shower, Simone was gone, but she'd laid out clothes for him. It was the suit he'd been wearing the time he'd taken her to a play in town. It was her subtle way of reminding him who he belonged to. Finn crawled into the suit, checked himself in the mirror, and then headed out to go meet his tormenter.

Cherry met him at the door of the little house on Walnut Way, and she was dressed to kill in a soft, sleeveless dress in dark-blue velvet. She had her hair pulled up into a sexy up-do held in place by a jeweled comb. There was a long slit in her dress that showed off her long legs–encased in reddish-black stockings–and a pair of spike-heeled shoes brought her up to a more comfortable kissing distance. Finn had known she was beautiful, but words just didn't do her justice. She had a face and body to die for. Trouble was there were a lot of dudes who already had died for her.

Cherry leaned in and kissed him, making him feel dirty and aroused all at once. The guilt was killing him. Dudes weren't supposed to be doing this. _He_ wasn't supposed to do this. As Cherry retrieved her purse, a limo rolled up–the same eight-wheeler he had tracked. With a heavy-hearted sigh, Finn offered the gangster-girl his arm and led her out to the car where the chauffeur he'd followed held the door.

The opera was the sort of brainiac entertainment that had never really appealed to Finn. It sounded confusing and hard to understand. Though Simone had expressed an interest in seeing one, Finn had always had an excuse for not going. Now their lives literally depended on it. He did his best. He tried his damndest not to fidget–not to do anything to offend the prickly beauty at his side. She wasn't a Cherry. She was a rose with thorns to stab the unwary.

He made it through. Concentrating on the music, he managed to avoid fidgeting or showing signs of his unhappiness. The music and the singing sustained him, and honestly he was actually enjoying himself near the end. Cherry, as a patron of the opera house, got to use the back stairs to exit, and, in short order, they were back in the limo, weaving their way towards Berthold's on Sugar Way. The lady sipped expensive liquor while Finn tried not to stare at her. It was hard though, when she looked so damned sexy sitting there with her legs crossed, showing off those sexy slim calves and the stockings and garters she wore. She pressed all the right buttons. At the same time, she had him absolutely terrified.

After a tense ride, the driver dropped them at the front door of Berthold's, where Cherry's beautiful face let them go right in. Inside, the restaurant was the kind of beautiful that declared how expensive it was with just a glance. The tables were all expensive, lacquered wood with matching chairs padded with thick cushions in a velvety green. The carpet was what Bonnie and Simone would have called 'sumptuous', and he could feel his feet sinking into the soft material with every step he took. The ceilings were hand-painted with expensive crown moldings, and the walls were a beautiful textured green. It was, in short, a place he would never have been able to afford to take his girls. The one time he'd taken Simone somewhere nice, E had given him the money.

He was a little embarrassed to have all the people there in that place see him with another woman. Cherry clung to his arm, smiling archly at the world around them as they passed every Big in the Candy Kingdom and a few from beyond. Honestly, it seemed a lot like they had imported rich people just for this evening. Finn tugged at his collar in shame as he led his beautiful companion up to the table tucked into the restaurant's back corner. At least it was a nice, secluded spot.

Finn was so distraught, he almost forgot to draw Cherry's chair. Her knowing dark eyes burned into his as he got himself seated. "My, honey," said she, "you seem nervous for some reason. May I ask why?" Finn flushed, and he wanted to swear at her. "You wouldn't be _cheating_ on me, would you," she asked? "My sweet boyfriend wouldn't forget our little agreement, would he?" "No," said Finn. "I... I don't come to places like this." "Let me see your phone, Finn," said she. Her voice was deceptively mild, but he knew that he better hand it over. "Turn it on, please," said she, "and unlock it."

Finn did just what he was told, handing the phone over to her. Calmly, as he watched, she flicked her way through his contacts list and his recent calls. "You don't need to call your daughter," said the gangster. "She's just fine. Just having a little vacation for the summer with her friends." Finn flushed. He'd guessed that Cherry was somehow behind the business with French Toast's kidnaping. Now he knew. Flicking her way through the phone's recent history, she said, "no calls to Bonnibel or the elemental woman. Good, honey. That's what I was hoping to see." She turned his phone off, and deftly plucked out the card, replacing it with one of her own. "Cloned," said she. "I took the liberty of cloning it while you were... _sleeping_ the other night." She handed him back his phone. "Don't disappoint me, Finn," she said. "Don't try to see Bonnibel again." "We... had another food riot," he said. "Candy-Town's getting worse, and I wanted to know what she wanted done." Her eyes said that she was hardly fooled by the misdirection. Resting her elbows on the table and her chin on her hands, she gave him an evil smile and said, "you leave that to me, honey."

Abruptly, she said, "you've been a good boy, Finn. Let me remind you why you should keep doing what you're told." She slipped out of her chair then, sliding under the table. Finn felt and heard his zipper come down and then her chill touch on his thighs as she fished his dick out of his boxers. "Boxers," she told him. "I don't like these half-and-half drawers..." Finn shivered as he felt her cool lips engulf his meat. His hands clenched up on the arms of his chair as she began to suck him.

Slowly Cherry worked to get his little brother 'up'. It took a little work. Tense as he was, it took real effort in spite of the _quality_ of that blow-job. It _was_ good. It was every bit as expert as E would have done it. Finn groaned as he felt her licking his tip, swirling her tongue around him. His hips tried to surge up from the chair, but he held himself in place. "Mmm, baby," she breathed, "let yourself go." The villainess sucked him hard, bobbing her head up and down, running those cool lips along the length of his shaft, causing chills to run up and down his spine. He moaned, and shifted in his chair, terrified that somebody would see what she was doing. Finally, she sent him crashing over the edge when she grabbed his balls and gave them a gentle squeeze.

Licking her lips, she slipped back into her chair just in time for the waiter to arrive. Her eyes flicked to Finn's as the waiter laid menus in front of the both of them. Finn glanced away in terror, wondering what she was waiting on. And then he remembered. He was the dude. He was supposed to order, and he was supposed to know what she liked. "Candied mussels in licorice sauce for the lady," said he. "Side order of sour-apple soup. Just a steak for me." As the waiter departed, she smiled archly at him and remarked, "you remembered, honey!" Finn blushed. Strangely enough, he actually did.

 **Props to Flying Priest for the "Flashback" idea. I know this story took a while to pick up, but I had to establish the kids early on. Hopefully it won't run too long.**


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32:

She was pushing his buttons again.

His ass had barely hit the seat at the office when Cherry called. She'd hit him with a sob story about one of her _employees_ being repeatedly abused by a customer. Finn didn't much like guys who hurt girls. He tended to edge over towards being vengeful instead of just. She didn't have to apply much pressure at all to have him rush out to go deal with her latest little problem.

The woman was of a type with E. Petite and curvy, she could have passed for the Huntress at a distance. That was pushing his buttons too. And the cuts and bruises had him ready to fuck this dude up. The fat fucker in front of him was screaming at him. Naked, with sweaty rolls of yellowish fat skin, he was the definition of disgusting, and he made Finn's skin crawl. More to the point, he was saying some pretty nasty things. He had _paid_ for this girl. He could do what he wanted to her. He had rights. He wasn't some sugar-coated loser. Finn was in a bad, bad place right now. If it wasn't his job as Captain of the guard, it was the fear of Cherry's reaction if he smashed this guy.

It was the sight of the girl's antennae on the floor that was the tipping point. This fucker had cut them off. He'd crippled her and started torturing her. Striding forward, Finn punched fatso square in the face, breaking his nose. As he clutched his nose and screamed, his bodyguard charged, but he might as well have been standing still. Finn dodged his attack, grabbed him by his greasy hair, and snapped his neck. He saw everything through a red haze right now. He thought of a weapon–of using it on the now-terrified mutant–and the grass sword of all things appeared in his hand.

Calmly, Finn sliced the screaming man's boin-loins off. As the evil mutant clutched his crotch in a vain attempt to stop the bleeding, Finn grabbed him by the scruff and rushed to the window. Stopping short, the enraged policeman sent the mutant gangster flying through the glass. Down below, a startled mailman dodged aside as the body slammed into the roof of an expensive limousine and didn't move again. Finn paid the corpse no further thought. Rushing to the fridge, he got some ice and a small tub. Coming back to the bedroom, he packed the severed antennae into the ice. Scooping up the injured woman, he went downstairs to find the ambulance he'd summoned had arrived. They were working on the thug.

Finn said, "not him I called you for." He handed the injured woman to them and gave them the severed antenna. He could only hope they could be reattached. The startled attendant stammered, "b-but, this man..." Finn interrupted him by hawking up a loogie and spitting on the body. "You were saying," he asked? The frightened attendants took the injured woman and got out of there, leaving him to clean up the mess.

Hundreds of miles away, Patrick Petrikov was loading up a shopping cart with his haul for the week. It kind of felt like being a secret agent to the young wizard. He was under cover. Nobody knew who he was. That meant he was the one member of their little group who could safely go out. The infusion of cash from Fionna's mom had improved their situation. They could afford their digs for a couple of months now, and they were eating better. Patrick went out every other day to get food. They had a fully stocked mini-fridge, and Bon could use the fireplace to cook.

Of course all wasn't wine and roses. Fionna was in a blue funke. Pat wasn't sure if it was the fact that they were jammed into that tiny hotel room, fallout from being a prisoner, or something else. It certainly wasn't helping that Bon was, without a doubt, slipping the toast-girl some of his sausage-surprise late at night when he thought Patrick and Fi were asleep. Patrick was sure he wouldn't have been nearly as calm about having to listen to his girlfriend bang some other guy if he was in Fi's shoes. There were moments where he wanted to wring Bubba's neck. The guy just didn't see what he was doing to Fionna, and it wasn't right.

The trip through the checkout line went without incident. He was just a dude buying groceries, just like countless others. With his jacket drawn up over his body so only his face and hands were exposed, no-one would really have known he was human, and he'd taken to daubing himself in some of the greasy mud from the motel's yard to disguise his complexion some. Doing his best to stay aware of his surroundings, Pat packed the truck and then got on his way.

They were in a crazy spot. The Flame King had made it rather clear just what they were up against, and she'd told them that it wasn't safe for her or any of her people to be seen nearby. The foursome were, more or less, on their own. The minute one of the gangsters saw anybody who might have been sent by Finn to protect his family, they might well come down with lethal force on anyone they could reach. It didn't even have to be that moment. It could be the next week or the next _year_.

Patrick's parents weren't thrilled that he was mixed up in this mess. His mother had been shrill the last time he'd talked to her, wanting him home regardless of what else was going on. In spite of his issues with Bon and Fi, the young wizard had refused to do that. Fi and Bon were his friends. They'd been jerks a time or two, but he imagined he'd been a jerk too. He knew that Fionna would go through hell to save him if their positions were reversed, and he wasn't about to run out on them now.

The drive back to the hotel was quiet. Patrick day-dreamed about buying his own vehicle–something nice like the low-rider he'd seen on the lot. He day-dreamed about having a nice apartment or house in an exclusive neighborhood. That was a fair bit out. He still had to get himself through college, establish himself as a worker of miracles, and then save up a hefty pile of cash. He wasn't really even sure where he was going to do that establishing. His parents had gotten a ration of shit for years from Princess Bubblegum about working as wizards in her kingdom. She didn't believe in magic, and she wasn't shy about letting them know that. He didn't want to move away, but he didn't see a lot of choices there. Besides, if his dad won the election, it was pretty likely they'd be moving to Wiz City anyway.

Pulling up to the hotel, he did his usual deal, circling the lot a couple of times to get a good look at what was going on before sliding the truck into the spot in front of their rented room. Fionna had been complaining about lack of sleep, and he now had a folding cot for her, so that would go a long way towards relieving tensions in the room.

Patrick knew something was wrong the minute he got out of the truck. He could _hear_ it. Walking up to the door, he carefully unlocked it and slipped inside to find an epic row going on. Fionna was on one side, and Frenchie was on the other, with Bon in the middle doing a rather inadequate job of refereeing. Knowing that there was a real danger of alerting their enemies about their location, Patrick shut the door, strode into the middle of the fight, and whistled shrilly to shut the whole thing down. There was silence for a moment, and Patrick took the opening to ask what the hell had set this whole thing off.

Bon, numbskull that he was, took that moment to chastise Fionna for shouting at his betrothed. "Fine, jackass," snarled the blonde bombshell! "See if I lift a finger next time somebody snatches her!" Without another word, she turned and stormed out, slamming the door behind her. The candy-prince stood there with his jaw hanging, while French Toast went to the bathroom and slammed the door behind her. Patrick turned to the young prince and asked, "what gives?" "Sh-she complained about French Toast using all the hot water," stammered Boniface Bubblegum. "She called my bride stupid..." Barely able to resist rolling his eyes, Patrick said, "she's just blowing off steam, Bon." He was still unused to that. French Toast had given him a tongue-lashing about calling the prince 'Bubba'. "Just another excuse for Fionna to behave like a barbarian," growled the prince.

Patrick did roll his eyes this time. Jabbing Boniface in the chest, he said, "you act like she can help it, Bon." "Can't she," retorted the royal? "She's got ADHD, Bon," replied Patrick. "You may not know it... My mom had to explain it to me. Fionna's got a condition that causes her to be hyper and jumpy. She can't help it. She was born that way. She inherited it from her father." Boniface goggled at him. He'd never realized such a thing existed. "Your mother wouldn't have known," replied Patrick. "Finn was the only specimen of human DNA she had. She didn't have it, and none of her little subjects would have had it because she only had her own DNA to work with." "H-how did you learn about it," asked Bon? His expression showed worry now. He was staring at the door where Fionna had gone.

With a sigh, Patrick explained, "it was common back when my mom was born, Bon. They had medicines for it. Now..." The prince blushed to his hair. Shaking his head, Patrick said, "I better get after her... bring her back." They couldn't be wandering around alone, and people knew who Fionna was. As Bon stared, the wizard went out the door following the sister he'd never quite been able to understand.

Outside, Patrick looked around, hoping the big, bad bunny had only gone down the walkway. She'd snuck down there to the soda-machine once since they'd been here. She'd wanted to look up at the moon. Now, he found her sitting in the passenger seat of the truck. Patrick climbed into the driver's seat, shutting the door behind him. Turning to his friend of the last fourteen years, he said, "I'm sorry, Fi. Bon told me what went down." "Why're you sorry," muttered the blonde? With a shrug, he said, "because they're picking on you, when this isn't your fault..." Her head snapped around, and she stared at him.

With a shrug, the wizard said, "you're... Well, we all know you're hyper, Fi. It's not like you can help it. And... well, if I had to watch–or listen–to my ex bangin' somebody else... I'd be cranky too." Fionna blushed and turned away. Chuckling, Pat said, "yeah... I hear them too." "He's my brother," rumbled Fionna. Patrick, who'd been staring at the door, whipped around to face her. "What-the-what," he stammered?

"His bitch of a mom decided t'steal some of my dad's stuff when dad was laid up in the hospital," rumbled Fi. "She didn't tell anybody." Until last month. It took a moment. Grabbing his hair, Patrick howled, "she did _what_?!" Fionna howled laughter. "Yeah," said she. "That's how my folks reacted." Patrick stared at the hotel room. Then he looked at Fi. Then he stared at the hotel. Now he knew the secret. His eyes flicked to Fionna, and she could see what he was thinking. Face gone hot, the blonde bombshell said, "we never did anything. That was why she finally 'fessed up. Bon asked if he could date me..." "Shit, Fi," said Patrick. "That's... That's messed up." She laughed again. That was what her dad had said.

"I'm sorry, Fi," said Patrick. "I can see why you're angry." Fi shrugged. She was over it now. Softly, she said, "I just can't stand that bitch. His mom picked her. Naturally." "She's jealous of you, Fi," said Patrick. "Maybe... Maybe if we let her in on the secret, she'll stop being a cunt." He glanced at Fionna to find the blonde staring at him in utter shock. "What," chuckled Pat? "You're hot, Fi. Everybody knows it. C'mon. Let's get the food inside. Then we can talk through this."

Back in the Candy Kingdom, the coroner had just wheeled Mr. Big away, and the tow-truck was now hitching up his wrecked limo under Finn the Human's watchful eyes. Cleaning up the mess had taken hours out of his day, and Finn had spent much of that time dodging his son and the uncomfortable questions he brought. Billy thought there was something wrong with him, and everything Finn was doing now confirmed that suspicion. Just now, the boys were cleaning up the last of the crime-scene tape as the investigation closed down. This would all have to go into a report. Finn would have to write up the lies he'd told, cringing the whole way through, but that was for later. In the now, Billy took advantage of the hiatus to corner his old man.

"Dad," said he. "Bill," Finn replied. The younger man took a deep breath. Letting it go, he reminded his father, "the wedding's tomorrow, dad. I... you and moms haven't said anything about going..." Finn flinched involuntarily. This was supposed to be one of the happiest occasions of his life. His boy was getting hitched. He'd found a girl that made him happy (in spite of pretty much being one of only seven humans left on the planet), and he was getting hitched.

Finn wanted to be happy. He wanted to at least give his boy the illusion, but this whole thing tasted like ash in his mouth. Billy was going into a shotgun marriage with a con-artist and thief who'd plagued their family for nearly twenty years. He was getting married not for the right reasons, but for every reason that was wrong. He felt like he had to do better than his adoptive uncle had done, so he was ignoring all the problems that his would-be wife had. As if Junior's personal history and past misdeeds weren't enough, Finn now knew she was figuratively in bed with the woman who was terrorizing the Candy Kingdom. Cherry, who had pretty much his entire family under threat, now had her loyal henchwoman in Finn's family. Billy was walking right into it, and Finn couldn't tell him.

Reaching out, Finn grabbed his son and hugged him. "Bill," said he. "I'm proud of you, dude. I'm... Simone, E, and me... we just want you to be happy..." Stepping back, the big man said, "we'll be there... We... Things have just been crazy lately." Billy knew it. His father had been known to keep crazy hours, but things had gotten even crazier lately. "Got some more news, dad," said he. Finn forced himself not to cringe. "I'm... I'll graduate next week," said the young hero. Finn goggled at him. He'd thought Billy had another few months at least.

Smiling and blushing a little, the younger man explained, "I... I talked my instructors into giving me a set of competency exams. I passed. I'm'a get out early. I'll be full time with you. At least for a little while." Now Finn did cringe. With a sigh, Billy explained, "JJ wants to see some of the world. I'm... I might be looking at working away from the Candy Kingdom for a while." Nodding, Finn said, "well, be sure and send us a postcard now and then." The younger man hugged his dad, and Finn found himself hugging Billy back, even when he might have cried. Then Billy went to his truck, climbed aboard, and drove away. Wiping at his eyes, Finn got in his own vehicle.

And sat there.

Emotion threatened to overwhelm him. It had taken everything he had just then not to blurt out everything that had been going on. Now he'd have to go down and watch Junior sink her claws further into his son. His trembling hands reached for the starter, but stopped midway. There was something in the cubby next to the shifter–something that hadn't been there before.

Puzzled, Finn picked up the shiny new phone. Then, as he realized its significance, he glanced around him. Nobody was even paying attention to him. Flicking the phone on, Finn found himself staring at an open series of text messages. Curious now, the hero began to slowly flick his way through them. As he read the contents and saw what the sender had to tell him, it slowly became apparent just who had left the phone for him. Finn slid the phone down between the seat and the console, started his truck, and drove away.

Instead of going back to work, Finn went straight home. His mind was in torment as he took the lonely miles out to his home. Arriving at the treehouse, he found his wife's truck there in the driveway, and Finn immediately raced into the house and up the stairs, barely taking the time to shut off his vehicle. He was surprised and delighted to find not only E there but also his daughter, Star. "Hey, donk," rumbled the former Huntress Wizard. Finn just stood there staring.

There was something wrong. She could see it in his eyes. "Bad day," she asked? Wordlessly, the younger man strode forward and snatched her up, hugging her hard enough to hurt. Then he grabbed Star and held her tight, crying on both of them. "Daddy, it's ok," murmured Star. "We're both alright." "Yeah," sniffed Finn. "I... Sorry." He let them go. "Dinner'll be ready in a few minutes, donk," said the beautiful older woman. "Go get cleaned up." Finn was more than happy to follow those orders, and he turned and raced up the stairs.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33:

Her voice was smoky and sultry–the definition of seductive–as she said, "you've been a good boy, Finn. You've done all I asked. Why wouldn't you want a reward?" Finn grimaced as he thought, _besides the obvious?_ He was married, and even if she was holding a figurative gun to his head, he didn't like this. "I'm going to my son's wedding," replied the hero. " _Really_ ," said Cherry? "Seems only yesterday that he'd just come into the world. You must be very proud. I wouldn't know what that's like of course. My husband died before we could have kids." Finn flinched at the unpleasant memory. "Well, you'll have to make it up to me later," said the crime boss as she checked his location. He was right where he was supposed to be–at home. Cherry hung up.

On the other end of the line, Finn slipped the phone Star had gotten him in his pocket. NEPTR's trick of relaying the signal had worked like a charm. She didn't know where he was. Of course that just bought him a little time. He needed to get this done and get out of the palace before anybody knew he was here. "Ready, Beemo," asked Finn? The little computer was industriously watching two of the palace staff fight. " _Beemo_ ," growled Finn! The video game sheepishly chuckled, "sorry, Finn. I am ready when you are!" "Drawing the mask over his face, Finn said, "give me a five count. Then scramble the surveillance system..." With that, Finn shoved off, slipping into the ventilation ducts that led into the palace.

The hero wedged himself into the ducts, using his back and legs to chimney-climb down as he slowly paid out rope to make the descent. It was slow going and terrifyingly dangerous. If he lost his grip and the rope gave way, he'd be on an express trip to Bonnie's dungeon. If the pressure from that wasn't enough, one of the spies Star had identified was a palace repair man. He could find Finn at any time if he decide to open up an access grate.

It felt like an eternity that he worked his way slowly through the maze. He had to be especially careful getting through the kitchen areas and anywhere else that might be occupied. Halfway through, he found himself wondering if he'd put his phone on vibrate. He dared not fumble for it in the longest, most vertical shaft of all. Keeping his cool, Finn edged closer and closer to his goal. As he neared the bottom of the shaft, he began to listen carefully in case Cherry's goons were in the lab.

The minute Finn's face cleared the grating, a dead rat smacked him square in the face. That got followed by a dead cat and then a glass bottle. Finn caught the bottle as he searched for the source of the missiles. His blue eyes locked with those of his beautiful Princess. As Bonnie backpedaled in fright, Finn pulled the mask from his face. "It's me, Peebles," he announced. "Finn," burbled the tall princess. She was just as he remembered–long pink hair, dazzling blue eyes, and beautiful body. She looked a little dirty as he approached, and the gown she was wearing was smudged and stained. She looked, in short, just like she always had. Yet he sensed something just wasn't right.

As he approached, Finn seized her by her wrists and dragged her to him. When he kissed the proud princess, there was an electric thrill. Grabbing that lush bottom, he gave it a squeeze–something he would never have done before. In moments, he had his answer as 'Bonnie' began grinding her hot body against his as if she was hot as a fire-cracker.

"P-Bot," rumbled Finn as he pushed the duplicate away. He could _taste_ the difference. The artificial candy-flesh Bonnie's double was coated in didn't taste the same as the real thing. He'd feared that Cherry had multiple angles to her plan, and now he knew he was right. The ersatz Bonnie flushed and glanced away. At the same time, she was practically breathless. Why was she breathless? As if guessing what he was thinking, she said, "I'm programmed to be an exact duplicate of Bonnibel, Finn. I'm encoded with all her memories. What reaction would you expect from somebody who just got kissed by the man of her dreams?"

Finn blushed at that bald statement. It was shocking confirmation of the way Bonnie felt about him. She'd said she was in love with him–that she'd never really stopped. At the same time, he wouldn't have expected _that_. Shaking himself, he moved on. They didn't have much time. Beemo would have to stop screwing with the video from the lab or the banana-guards would get suspicious. "What're you doing here," he asked? "We thought you'd been destroyed in the fire..." Sniffing back tears, P-Bot said, "it was a diversion, Finn. They wanted to hide the fact that they'd snatched me... They killed him, Finn... I saw the whole thing..." She meant Braco.

Only now did Finn come to realize just how _real_ P-Bot actually was. It stood to reason. Bonnie had built her to be a companion for her annoying suitor, Braco. That wouldn't have lasted twenty years if she was a lifeless fuck-doll. Now he had to head her off from going into an emotional melt-down. The last thing they needed was for the spies to see her lose it. They'd know he was on to them. Fortunately P-Bot got herself back under control.

Giving him a sad little smile, she said, "it's the one advantage of being a machine, Finn. I can interrupt my emotion subroutines for a few minutes at a time. What's going on? I... th-they keep me isolated." "They don't have complete control of the palace," said Finn. "There's lots of spies, but they're scattered. They've got fear on their side more than anything. They're threatening to kill my family to make me play along." He was the one power in the kingdom who could disrupt their plans right now. "Do you know where Bonnie is," he asked? "No," sighed the robo-babe. "I didn't even see her the night they made the switch. They dragged me in here in my nightgown." She was honestly afraid Bonnie was no longer alive.

That was bad news. He'd honestly not expected to find anything down here, and he'd gotten excited when he found P-Bot. He'd hoped she knew more about the conspiracy. He'd hoped that maybe she could give him a line on where they were hiding Bonnie because, right now, he had bupkis. Unfortunately, he was still on his own, and Bonnie was out there somewhere, maybe hurt, certainly in fear of her life. _So get down to it, Finn,_ thought the hero. He needed to find out what P-Bot _did_ know.

"They need her," rumbled Finn. "They need the Decorpsinator Serum and the cloning formula." Both were things that Bonnibel hadn't shared with her mechanical double. P-Bot imagined that they were too dangerous for anyone but the Princess herself to know. The sex-droid gasped, as she had a sudden epiphany. As Finn watched, she went over to the lab table and retrieved a dead candy-rat, much like Bonnie's pet, Science. "They brought me a pile of these," she said, "even after I told them I couldn't make the serum. They must mean for me to test the formula." So even if Bonnie tried to trick them, they'd spot the trick. A grim-faced Finn realized that this was so deep that he couldn't be sure they could get out of it without losing some of the people he cared about.

The sex-droid had been keeping track of the time since Finn had burst in. "Whatever distraction you arranged is probably almost done, Finn," she said. They didn't have a lot of time left. "Hang tight," said Finn, as he turned to go. "I'll get you out of here. Promise." "Finn," said the machine. "If need be... I'm expendable." He frowned at her, and the doppelganger reminded him, "I'm a copy, Finn. That's all I'll ever be. You have to save the real Bonnibel." "I don't buy that," rumbled the hero. "And I'm not going to throw your life away." With a sigh, she said, "I don't have a life anymore, Finn. Braco _was_ my life." "Then you'll find a new one," Finn stubbornly replied!

Finn headed back to the vent shaft with P-Bot following him. At the grate, she caught his shoulder and spun him around. Grabbing his face, she kissed the lips she'd thought about so many times the last seventeen years. Startled as he was, he really couldn't help grabbing a handful of her butt. "For luck," breathed the ersatz Bonnie. Finn grinned at her and slipped out.

Back in the shaft, Finn radioed Beemo, letting him know that he was on his way out again. The little robot restored the video feed to the control room, letting the banana guards check in on the princess in the basement. Neither of them was dirty, but they reported to somebody who was. Finn just had to figure out who that somebody actually was. Star hadn't been able to figure it out in the two weeks she'd been working at it. Whoever the mole was, he was smart enough not to do anything that would reveal his identity. Finn had been terrified that it was Billy. Billy had been dating Junior almost since he'd joined the force! Trouble was, if Billy was the mole, they should never have caught Star. Billy's work had been instrumental in figuring out who was whacking the gangsters. More to the point, Star had said that Junior didn't want Billy to know anything about what they were doing.

 _It's not my son,_ thought the hero. _It's somebody else._ Somebody with the power to influence the guards in the palace. The list of people that could be was short–just five names long. His chief of palace security was the obvious one. The leader of the Heavy-Boys was a second. Spike was a third. Any of those would have been as disastrous as Billy. _Glob don't let it be one of them,_ thought Finn, as he began his climb. Shaking off those dark thoughts, the Captain of the Guard focused on violating the security that he himself had set up for the palace. Beemo was going to trigger a fire alarm in just twenty minutes. Finn had to reach the kitchen, don a chef's hat and outfit, and slip out when the alarm went off. It was going to be touch-and-go.

Elsewhere, Cherry Cream Soda sat doing one of her least favorite things of all. She was meeting with crazy. She had been forced to deal with crazy fairly often in the early going. The madwoman who was the Thief King had contacts reaching across all the nearby kingdoms. Those were contacts Cherry needed to cement her rise as Boss of Bosses. If Penny's sanity had been questionable _before_ Finn the Human cut her skull open, she was even less stable now. Unfortunately the Boss of Bosses still needed the Thief King to execute her plan. Pressure was nothing without some way to apply it.

So here sat the head of the Candy Kingdom's syndicate, sipping hot chocolate in a streetside cafe, waiting on her counterpart to quit her clowning and come to the table. The beggar woman went from table to table, carrying a cup that rattled with the few coins she'd managed to collect. With her clothes raggedy and her face smeared with filth, she was the epitome of the kingdom's street-trash. She wouldn't have looked out of place in any slum across the face of Ooo, which the Crime-Boss imagined was the point. _Over the top, though,_ thought Cherry Cream Soda. Penny the Thief King was outrageously over the top and dangerously insane. When she'd hit half the tables at the café–and checked out their occupants–the nutcase came to Cherry's table at last, signaling the start of business.

Setting her glass down, Cherry opened with, "so how can I help the King of Thief City?" Penny's eyes darted back and forth like a beggar caught lifting a purse. Her eyes lit up the crowd, searching for the Crime Boss's agents. She always did that. At least she did after a convincing demonstration of Cherry's power and reach. Cherry's henchmen had killed three of Penny's bodyguards after they killed the one obvious bodyguard Cherry had with her. In the end, the crime-lord's bodyguards were nothing if not discrete. Penny had actually 'begged' from three of them before making contact.

"I want the rabbit," growled Penny in her ugly, gravelly voice. Cherry's eyebrow quirked. "That bitch needs t'die," snarled Penny. Sitting back in her chair, the Boss of Bosses replied, "why?" Just that. She gave no indication that it mattered to her one way or the other. "She's under your protection," snarled Penny! "Give her to me!" Which told Cherry that this psycho-bitch had already tried to kill her. Resting her hands on the table, Cherry reminded her, "the agreement was for you to hold Boniface Bubblegum and his friends. You managed to fuck that up after I all but _delivered_ them..." "She killed my son," snarled Penny! "I want her _dead_!"

The gangster sat back and seemed to be considering that. Truth be told, this bitch was becoming a problem. Cherry stood to lose her grip on Finn if something happened to his daughter. More to the point, murderers weren't always careful of collateral damage. It would be easy for Penny's thugs to go a little too far and kill Boniface too. Cherry needed the pair as leverage against their parents. "I'm afraid your vengeance will have to...," Cherry started to say. Penny drew a knife then. Before she could use it, three men pointed dart-guns at her. As the terrified bandit chief stared, a waiter calmly took the knife and Cherry's cup and disappeared inside. "You can have Fionna when I say you can," growled the candy-person. Rising, she strode out to the limo that had just pulled up. In moments, she was halfway down the street.

It was half past six when the wedding got done and Finn and his family got out. The whole thing was kind of a discordant, jangled mess, with a nervous Junior flubbing her lines twice, and Billy constantly looking for Fionna to come walking through the door. They hadn't told him anything about what was going on. With Billy, quite literally in bed with the enemy, Finn hadn't dared. Now Billy was worried sick and a little irritated with the rest of them for being so _calm_. The whole afternoon was strained to the point where the hero found himself looking around for something awful to happen.

Adding to the bad vibe, Emeraude had all but refused to even speak to Junior, and Simone had been _cold_. Nobody was happy with the whole _pregnancy_ thing. At least nobody on Finn's side of the family. Jake was characteristically thrilled. He had a copy of the 'Mom's Manual' for Junior, hand written notes for Billy on how to be a dad, and a standing offer to babysit anytime they wanted. Of course even Finn found himself silently urging Junior not to accept that offer. Jake was the worst! He meant well, but Finn's grandkids wouldn't live through even their crazy-short Rainicorn childhood with Jake looking after them!

Now the two families were at the reception doing their best job of _pretending_. Finn and his ladies were pretending that everything was alright. Fionna wasn't in hiding. Billy hadn't just married the Boss of Bosses' henchman. Finn wasn't having his chain continually jerked. Simone and Emeraude hadn't been forced to exile themselves from their own home. Everything was peachy. As Billy and Junior circulated through the party, meeting the few guests who'd been able to attend at such short notice, Finn's phone rang. He knew who it was without looking. Everybody who would have called him was already present at the party or had been warned off calling. The hero immediately rose and slipped out a side-door into the corridor beside the banquet-hall. Flicking his phone on, Finn opened with, "yeah?"

"Go outside," said the sultry voice on the other end of the line. Muttering curses, Finn did just as he was told, slipping out a fire-exit and onto the street. He had been expecting Cherry to be sitting there in a limo or something, but the street looked empty. Standing there, looking around, he told her, "I'm in my kid's wedding reception. Is there something you need?" "Just checking," said the gangster. "Tomorrow, you are to pack your bags for a week's stay. Come to my home here in town alone. Tell your subordinates that you are going to a conference." Finn acknowledged those orders, and his tormenter hung up on him. Muttering curses, he walked down the street to the entrance and then back inside.

The gathering was up dancing when Finn returned. As he headed across to the table, his daughter intercepted him, asking, "mind dancing with me, daddy?" It took a moment. Then, as he remembered deputizing her, Finn said, "uh, sure, Star." Moments later, the two were on the far corner of the dance floor, circulating like any of the other couples. "What did she want," asked the young woman? "Checking to see that I was where I'm supposed to be," muttered Finn. NEPTR's trick had worked like a charm. She'd probably gotten suspicious of the strange stuff at the palace earlier and decided to make sure. Now he was _sure_ she had no way of knowing that he had been in the basement of the palace today.

Still there was fallout of a different sort. Muttering curses, Finn said, "she's jerking my chain some more. I have to drop in at her place tomorrow. I think she's up to something big. I'm supposed to pack for a trip." Nodding, Star said, "ok, daddy. I can use the time myself. If you're not here, these dopes may relax their guards some." "Be careful," said Finn. "I'd never forgi..." Star cut him off by hugging him. "I'm not going to be in danger, daddy," she reminded him. "Not as much as you and Fi. Watch your back. I mean it." He promised he would. In the now, he wanted to dance with Simone. While he had the chance.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34:

Finn waddled along through the lobby of the posh hotel, hauling a stack of luggage. He'd been spoiled the last seventeen years or so. Every dude he knew said he was spoiled. Simone hardly ever wanted to leave town, and he could count on one hand the number of times she'd even had a suitcase in her hands. E, while more likely to want to go, go, go, tended to travel light. She'd been ducking and dodging gangsters and the law so much, she rarely traveled with anything more than a soft duffle-bag. He couldn't have _imagined_ the amount of stuff a wealthy woman owned. And naturally, she made him carry it. She was enjoying this. He could tell she was enjoying it. She'd met him at the door of her house with this stack of luggage, and made him haul it to the car. Now she made him carry it all upstairs to her hotel room.

The little woman had come in a short, _tight_ skirt in red, a pair of stiletto heels that made her almost tall enough to look him in the eye, and a loose-fitting top in sky blue that tended to slide down off her shoulders, showing off her skin and the fact that she probably wasn't wearing a bra. She looked fucking hot. Every dude they passed looked at her–and even some dudettes looked. Butt wiggle-waggling as she went shuffling down the hall, she drew the eye of every person in the hotel lobby. Behind her, Finn felt like he was almost smothered in luggage, and he could only do his best to avoid falling on his face.

The pair climbed aboard the elevator for a fast ride up to the Royal Suite at the top floor. As they rode the elevator, Finn couldn't help remembering the last time he'd been here in Wildberry Kingdom. Jake had talked him into coming here to spend some of their money. That had turned into Jake going crazy and pissing off everybody they met. And that led to Jake pissing off Wildberry and getting them banished. Finn had spent _years_ apologizing. And they'd been _broke_ after that. Finn sometimes wished he still had the money they'd lost. When he had three sick kids at once, fuel to buy to heat the house, and repairs to make, it would have been nice having a pile of gold in their basement.

When the doors opened, Cherry led the way into the Royal Suite. Finn stumbled along in her wake as she crossed the suite to the bedroom. "Put the clothes in the closet," said the crime lord. Finn goggled at her. She was going to _unpack_?! As the Guard-Captain stared, Cherry went to the phone and ordered up a dinner of candied lobster over truffles with champagne. The hero found himself unable to believe she could be here committing all these crimes and not be living out of a bag like E. Cherry gave him an ironic look as she hung up the phone. "If you get that stuff put away, you get to join me in the bath," said she. Without a further word, she headed across the room, shedding clothing as she went.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, a very frustrated Shoko was at the door to her mother's lab, arguing with an irritated Peppermint Butler. She had seen little enough of her mother for months. The kingdom had been running mostly on autopilot the whole time. The one time the Candy Kingdom's ruler had put in an appearance was to punish Shoko for something that had hardly been the teen's fault. Subsequent to flinging a girl in her brother's face, Bonnibel had gone silent again.

Now they were facing a rising tide of crises. The Candy Kingdom's infrastructure was falling apart as the citizens in charge of taking care of it sort of slacked off out of fear of what their ruler would do. Nobody would take any initiative, and Shoko knew it was because her mother had a habit of discouraging it. The only system that was still running fairly smoothly was the police. Finn was efficient to a fault, and, no matter what the Princess was doing, the criminals still got arrested and the jails still ran. As if the crises weren't enough, Shoko's brother was also AWOL. He'd disappeared without leaving any notice of where he was going or how he could be reached. He wasn't answering his phone, and nobody had seen him. Shoko was honestly in a state of terror right now. She was worried about the kingdom. She was worried about her brother, and she was very worried about her mom.

"You don't get a choice, peppermint-breath," growled Shoko. "I'm heir. I rank you." The manservant didn't really like to be reminded of that. Shoko knew she was pushing his buttons, just as she knew that was really dangerous. He was still a black-magician, and he still consorted with demons out of the Night-O-Sphere. She trusted that his loyalty to her mother kept her safe from harm, but she was also sort of stepping on that loyalty right now. They were in a gray area. Her mother had commanded him to keep people away.

"Your mother's instructions are clear," said the butler. "You are not permitted to go inside." "Alright," muttered Shoko. She turned to go, and she even headed up the stairs a little bit. That drew peppermint boy into following. The young royal did a sweet spin move, jumped over his head, and landed at the bottom of the stairs. Before the butler could act, she deftly popped the lock on the door with the spare key, and stepped inside, calling out to her mother as she went.

"Here, Shoko," replied the Princess.

The tall candy-person stood at the far side of the room, next to a table laden with rats of all things. That was kind of creepy, but it was nothing compared to the creepy vibe Shoko got from the woman herself. Glance at the butler, and Princess Bonnibel announced, "I left strict orders that I not be disturbed..." "Heh-heh," said a nervous Peppermint Butler, "she's going, Your Highness. I dropped my guard for a moment..." Shoko had no intention of _going_. She had a hunch to play. "I was worried, mother," said the young heir. "I've been calling you for days. Things are getting worse over in Candy Town. We're having protests every day." "Captain Finn is handling the rioters," growled Peppermint Butler!

Shoko ignored him. "We've got people slacking off all over the kingdom," explained Shoko, "and Bon's missing..." "He's with his girlfriend," replied the Princess. Frowning, she added, "maybe it's time I found a suitor for you as well." Shoko flushed. She knew Bon had basically been screwing that girl every chance he got. If French Toast was intended to keep her brother busy, the ploy had succeeded admirably. Now her mother was suggesting that maybe Shoko needed to get fucked too. It was a hundred-eighty-degree change from the mother that had suggested that she'd cut Bon's boin-loins off if he even thought about railing a girl before he was two-hundred.

Of course, Shoko had other ideas. As she exchanged banter with the older woman, she had been slowly moving closer. She'd intentionally tried to keep her mother's eyes focused on hers. Now she made her move. Before the older woman could react, Shoko wrapped her in an embrace and held her close. "I love you too, Shoko," chuckled the princess. Then she gasped, as the younger woman's hand gripped her arm at the elbow feeling the joint through the cloth of the princess's gown. "Yeah, _mom_ ," whispered the young heir. "I love you as well. Rest assured I'll be talking to Captain Finn about some of the goings on around here." The princess was flushed when Shoko stepped back. Shoko's eyes were cold as she said, "I guess I'll leave you to your work. Whatever it is." Without a further word, she turned and stalked out.

Late that same evening, Finn found himself following Cherry up to a beautiful lakeside house. The neighborhood had clearly seen better days, and the house in question had a view of Wildberry Palace. Finn shuddered at the sudden memory of Wildberry Princess laying in a tub of meat getting a meat facial. That was a creepy sight he would like to have unseen. More on point, he knew this neighborhood. James Plumly and his Plum Purple gang called this neighborhood of crumbling mansions home.

"Something wrong," asked the gangster girl? With a grimace of distaste, Finn said, "I paid for this house." He'd bought every house in the neighborhood. The people who'd been on the square the night Wildberry tried to whack Finn and Jake had gotten wealthy overnight. When the people who'd grabbed his treasure had spent it all, they moved back into more affordable digs on the other side of town. "You used to be a happy-go-lucky sot," opined Cherry. "What happened?" With a shrug, Finn replied, "two wives and three kids..."

Moving on, Finn remarked, "the Plum Crazies run this place. You sure this is where you want to be?" Cherry chuckled at that comment. With a smile she reminded him, "remember our agreement, honey. You let _me_ do all that hard work of thinking." She had business with James Plumly. He wasn't quite Boss here in the Wildberry Kingdom, but he had the power. All the other bosses at least listened to his edicts. None of them had the stones to disobey openly. Plumly was in the way of her psychedelic chocolate business, and she wanted to put a stop to that. She was hoping they could come to some accommodation. Fighting each other would serve little purpose, and she didn't really need the distraction right now.

The door was already open, and there was a large eggplant standing there in the doorway dressed in a dark black suit. Finn could see the glint of his bone-white teeth–all jaggedy and sharp–as he gave them a predatory smile. They ate _meat_ here. That was pretty much _all_ they ate. Though Finn had known Wildberry Princess for a lot of years, he had always been a little creeped out by that. After the unpleasant fight when Jake tried to sit on the Princess, Finn had gone through _days_ of nightmares where he woke from bad dreams of having Wildberry gnawing on his arm or leg.

Finn followed along behind Cherry, just like he'd been told. The hooded cloak he wore was meant as a disguise, but Finn hardly thought the men here were fooled. He had too much of a history with James Plumly. He'd tried to arrest the rogue at least once a year for ten years straight. Nowadays the leader of the Plum Purple gang pretty much stayed inside Wildberry Kingdom. He'd stopped trying to muscle in on the gangs in the Candy Kingdom years ago. _Do I thank her for that,_ Finn wondered? He wasn't sure that was entirely inappropriate. He didn't like what she was doing, but he didn't like these outsiders moving in and trying to do their dirt among Bonnie's peeps either.

The bouncer at the door moved to search Finn, but the hero pushed his hands away. Calmly, Cherry told him, "I was told I'd be allowed one bodyguard. If he stays outside, _I_ stay outside." The thug backed off, and Finn again fell in at Cherry's back. He was taller than her, and he could see what was going on around them as they passed through the hallways of the big house. Finn kept himself loose and ready. This had the potential to go south really fast once they got in to see the big man himself. _If, Finn,_ thought the hero. It was a big 'if'. James Plumly could simply have them whacked in the parlor, wrap the bodies in a tarp, and dump them. It was what Finn would do.

The thug escorted them all the way through the house and out to the back end where the plum held court in a beautiful office that reminded Finn of Bonnie's. He was feeling pangs of loss over his old chum, wondering if she was still alive. He knew she had to be. Cherry wanted the decorpsinator serum. She wanted to bring her husband back to life. Of course, she kind of left unsaid what would be happening to Finn when that day came.

The house was in pretty good shape as Finn and his companion passed through. The walls were well kept, the floors freshly stained, and thick, heavy carpet rolled out in many of the rooms. That made the sight that greeted Finn in the crime-boss's office all the more jarring. The floor had been cleared of carpet. The fancy furniture had been moved to either side of the room and covered up. Heavy tarps had been hung on all the walls and even rolled across the floor. It was a setup that screamed _trap_. Though there _were_ signs that there was work being done in the house, Finn couldn't help noticing that the floor underneath the tarp seemed to have already been freshly stained. He was planning to do them.

Cherry strode straight up the crime boss, who sat at a table in the center of the room just now. "Mr. Plumly," she greeted him. "Ms. Soda," replied the gangster. Indicating the chair before him, he said, "please have a seat. We've much to discuss." Cherry immediately slipped into the chair, settling her hands in her lap, while Finn took up station on her right side. That kept his sword hand clear and let him grab her if it came to that.

James Plumly's gaze flicked up to Finn, and he said, "have to say I find it hard to believe that you'd _trust_ a man like him at your back. He's got no love of our business." Cherry's eyebrow quirked up. Finn knew that Plumly had immediately recognized him. There weren't many villains on Ooo who didn't know Finn the Human by description if not by sight. Leaning back in her chair with an airy wave of her hand, Cherry replied, "it's a question of leverage, Mr. Plumly. He and I have an _arrangement_." "Indeed," said the gangster.

Moving on, the evil sugar-fruit said, "so you've claimed that I'm in the way of some sort of business venture..." "I wouldn't exactly say _interfering_ ," said Cherry. "Let's jut say that there have been some unforeseen delays in my plans." "And those plans are," asked Plumly? With a shrug, Cherry replied, "to sell my product. I'm not interested in fighting you. I'm willing to pay a fair street tax..." James Plumly leaned forward, his face a study in crazy, but Cherry cut him off with, "a _fair_ street tax. Fifteen percent cut, straight off the top."

The plum pondered that for a while. In his deep, melodious voice, he said, "you've managed to do a lot in a relatively short time. The Candy Kingdom's rackets were in disarray. Now you've got the whole thing running like a watch. I could take you under my wing..." Cherry chuckled. "I'm doing just fine, Mr. Plumly," replied the soda-girl. "It's not common for someone to try and sell their product in another kingdom," said Plumly. "How do I know this isn't just an opening?" With a shrug, Cherry told him, "I'm willing to make you distributor. I just want the cash, Mr. Plumly."

Everything he had heard said she was already swimming in cash. She'd come into town and booked the Royal Suite for a week without batting an eye. It made him wonder just why she needed so much money. Waggling a finger before her, he said, "I want in on whatever you're investing in." "No," replied Cherry. "Not going to happen. Distributor for the goods with twenty percent share in the profits." "I _own_ this kingdom," growled the plum. "It would be a shame if there was trouble at your hotel..." "Cheap threat, Mr. Plumly," retorted the candy-person. "Why don't we quit the posturing? You've got an awful lot of power here, but you're not the _only_ power. I just want my cut of the proceeds. I don't give a tinker's damn for Wildberry Kingdom, but I can make a lot of trouble for you. Distributor. Twenty-five percent share of the profits. That's my offer. Take it or leave it."

The angry plum's red eyes burned into the candy-person's dark eyes. She was playing a dangerous game, and Finn well knew it. James Plumly was not the most stable person, and Finn could see that she was pressing his buttons. Shit was about to get real and fast. Finn prayed they would get out of this with no trouble, but he stayed loose just in case. Finally, as Cherry fanned herself in seeming boredom, the thug decided which way he was going to jump.

The plum was fast. The dart-gun was out and leveled at Cherry faster than the eye could follow. At least most eyes. Finn's sword was cutting through his arm almost before his hand stopped moving. Catching the dart gun in mid-air, he shot three men before they even realized what had just happened. Grabbing Cherry by the scruff, he kicked the table over and dragged her behind it. As he shoved the screaming plum out of the way, the hero told the gangster-girl to get small. And then, as she watched, he waded into the pack of gangsters coming through the door.

Bashing a giant gourd in the face with the pommel of his blade, he spun to his right and gutted a giant, walking pepper. As the pepper collapsed, he shot a pair of peaches between the eyes. Hurling the empty dart gun, he brained a tomato, and then he the chopped the head off a grape. The pepper lay there screaming, blood pouring out of him, but Finn paid him no attention. He turned to the two berry-people coming through the door on his left and rushed them. A second fat plum leveled a dart-rifle at Finn and let fly, but the Finn sword negligently deflected those speeding barbs. And then, as he got in close, Finn drove his sword through the plum's face.

The second berry-person swung a heavy meat-cleaver at him, trying to smash the sword in his hands to pieces. Finn's hand and wrist hurt from the shock of those blows. Coolly, the hero continued to turn and deflect and block those blows, using finesse while he tried to get the idiot to over-extend. Cherry's shouted warnings alerted him that more trouble was on the way though. He had to end things. Stepping forward, he launched an upward cut that saw his blade stick into the fruit-man's tricep. The thug dropped his cleaver as he shrieked in pain. Finn bashed his head into the other man's forehead, knocking him down, then finished him off with a boot to the throat.

Turning to the foursome coming through the main door once more, Finn hurled a dagger, sticking it in one man's skull. Leaving his sword stuck in the fruit's arm, he charged the other three. As Cherry watched, he did a neat tuck-and-roll, coming up with the dart-rifle. Leveling it at the newcomers, he flattened two of them. The fourth took that moment to reconsider his options. As Finn strode towards him, the gourd turned and fled back the way he'd come. They were alone.

An astonished Cherry looked out from behind the table just in time to see the big man ruthlessly shoot James Plumly in the face. She'd only been able to _stare_ as the big man tore through the Plum Purple gang like he was Death himself. Finn went to the gangster and pulled her back to her feet. Voice cold and hard, he asked, "you ok?" "I-I think so," she burbled. She was still in shock. Voice betraying his irritation, Finn growled, "I told you he wasn't to be trusted..." Cherry was astonished.

And strangely turned on.

The big man was still moving–doing those things needed to keep them alive. He went back to his sword, pulled it from the corpse on the floor, and slid it back into its sheathe. Returning to where the crime-boss still stood staring at him, he grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her towards the door. As they made the tense journey down the hall to safety, the hero drew his phone, dialed her chauffeur, and said, "meet us out front. Five minutes. Don't be late." Just like that, and he was taking charge of things. Cherry didn't resist or argue as her erstwhile pawn led the way out of that place and out to the street. She wasn't sure if there was anybody else in the house or not, but nobody dared come out to trifle with them again. Indeed, the whole neighborhood was eerily quiet when they reached the door–as if everyone on the street had heard of James Plumly's death.

The driver was as good as his word, swinging by to snatch them up almost on the fly before hustling them out of the neighborhood. In short order, they were back across town at the hotel walking into the Royal Suite. Almost as soon as they got through the door, Cherry headed for the bathroom. Finn wasn't sure if she were still shaken up or if it was something else, and he didn't question as she shut the door to the bedroom behind her. Shedding the heavy cloak that had done an inadequate job of hiding his identity, Finn did his best to ratchet down the tension that had built up inside him. With no better plan, he found himself looking around the room while he waited for his tormenter to come back out.

The hotel suite was beautiful–far beyond anywhere Finn had ever slept before. The only thing that came close was the time he'd stayed in Breakfast Princess's palace with E while they were hunting aliens. Though the decor was a little weird–the petrified meat sculptures were especially off-putting–Finn thought the marble floors and expensive carpets wouldn't have looked out of place in Bonnie's home. It was, in short, what he expected of a wealthy lawyer, which Cherry was even when she wasn't having people murdered for fun and profit.

It didn't suit Finn. As he'd said so often, he was a simple dude. Straightforward. No complexity. What you saw was what you got. He didn't keep a beautiful, cushy couch at home because neither he nor his kids could be bothered to remember not to jump on it when they came home dirty. Indeed, seeing just how nice the furniture here was–and knowing he had blood and filth on him from the fight–he found that he couldn't really sit on the hotel room's too-cushy couch. Instead, he found himself at the window, staring out and wondering what he should do now. He honestly felt like he should be on guard against a hundred guys busting down the door–or to find Berry Kingdom's enforcers at the door to arrest him for murder.

That was where Cherry found him. Standing at the window looking strangely lost. It was an odd expression for a man who had so convincingly dealt with the fellow who wanted to murder her. Strolling over, the long train of her nightgown swishing along the floor with each step, Cherry announced, "penny for your thoughts..." Finn chuckled, "thought I killed her..." He was honestly a little disturbed to know that Penny was still alive. That was another unhappy story. Like Cherry, she'd been a small-time player in Finn's life–somebody who was just there on the edge of things. At least she had been until he'd tracked the theft of the Amulet of Power to her doorstep and found that she'd taken over Thief City.

He _was_ in an odd mood. Cherry could sense it on him. Stroking his back tentatively, she asked, "are you angry?" "Nope," replied Finn. He sounded strangely cheerful. "I've wished I could kill James Plumly for years. He was always smarter than me. He never gave me a reason to even arrest him." All while he'd terrorized people from the Capitol of the Berry Kingdom to Chocago and back. Finn had come close to crossing the line with him a hundred times. Strangely this was liberating. More to the point, he was prepared for this sort of thing, and he said so. "And I'm not," chuckled the gangster?

Turning to face her, he took her chin in his hands and asked, "are you? Really?" Cherry felt her face go warm. Turning away, she said, "I'll grant you that I'm not into shooting people, but I'm a lawyer by trade, Finn. I've represented some ugly, ugly people. Mr. Twist, who you sanctioned, was a twelve-time loser. He was guilty of rape, extortion, and a number of murders including at least one murder by arson. I saw all of the evidence against him. You... you stop being squeamish after a while."

She didn't like the direction this conversation was going. She'd intended to come out here and reward him for protecting her life. Taking his hand, she tried to lead him to the bedroom. Shockingly Finn told her, "you don't have to do that..." "Oh, but I do," chuckled Cherry. She wasn't going to take 'no' as an answer.

The little woman half-dragged him into the bedroom and up to the massive, king-sized bed. Shoving him onto the bed, she straddled his lap, saying, "I most certainly have to give my man some nookie. That's the lesson I learned when I lost my husband, Finn. I'm not promised another day." Reaching out with a fingertip, she traced the thin, pale line of one of the scars he got from Me-Mow. There were so many scars on his body, and they were all moments in time where he might have left the world.

When their lips met, it seemed strangely natural this time. It didn't seem _awful_ that he was touching this beautiful woman. Cherry moaned softly as she broke that kiss. "Let's get you out of this stuff," said she. Sliding down–taking care to stroke his hard pecker–Cherry unfastened his sword-belt and slid it off. Laying his weapon aside, she came back and got rid of the cloak he'd still been wearing. Finn kicked the shoes off himself. Now the beautiful candy-person climbed back onto the bed.

Finn filled his eyes with the sight of her in that sheer-blue nightie, her dark skin clearly visible to him. A moment later, they were kissing, and he had a double handful of her ass, squeezing and caressing her, while she rubbed her plump boobies against his chest. The handsome younger man slipped one hand up along her flank and under her nightgown, stroking her smooth, cool skin. His other hand moved up, and he ran his fingers through her long, pale hair. Breaking that kiss, Cherry sat up and whispered, "let me be good to you."

Sliding down his hard body, Cherry slipped her cool hands under the bottom of his shirt. Slowly she slid the rough cloth up, her hands teasing his hard muscle. That was the crazy thing about all of this for Finn. She was a murderer. Even if she never once pulled the trigger, she was a multiple murderer. At the same time, she was so fucking sexy. She was going to do him. He knew she was going to do him. When she got the things she wanted, Cherry Cream Soda was going to add Finn to the long list of names of people she'd put in the ground.

But she would absolutely devour him when she was in a mood like this.

The sexpot all but tore the shirt off of him, and she really couldn't seem to help teasing his belly and chest with her lips and tongue, sending shivers up his spine. She was cold. Her body was physically cold, reminding him of the way Simone felt before they got rid of the Ice-Tiara. It was a strangely pleasant memory. Cherry kissed her way up his body and hurled his shirt into the corner. Next she slipped down and started unfastening his pants. Hooking her fingers in the waistband of his britches and boxers both, she dragged them off of his hips, causing his hungry dick to spring out.

The half-pint slut dragged his pants down to his ankles and then off, chucking those aside as well. Then she turned her attention back to his pecker, slipping her cool fingers around his meat. "Mmm," she moaned, as she inhaled his musk. She ran her lips up and down his length, her breath cool and wet. Finn found himself scrunching his eyes closed at the feel of that. His hands wanted to grab her head and shove that fat log into her mouth, but Simone had broken him of that habit.

Without warning, the slutty gangster-girl slipped her mouth over his knob and began to suck hard enough that it hurt. At the same time, she ran her lips up and down his dong. The cool feeling of that drove him up the wall, and he would have had to give her credit for being better at it than even E was. His hips surged up from the bed, and he forced himself to calm down. Breaking that connection, she told him, "let yourself go, baby." And then she went right back to what she was doing. Finn groaned and hissed, biting his lips. His hips kept trying to surge up from the bed–to stuff that big stick inside her mouth–but he fought that down. Guys weren't supposed to do that.

Breaking contact once again, she breathed him, "I said let go..." And this time, she put his hands on either side of her head. Finn couldn't help it. Grabbing her head, he jammed the fat knob against her throat. Cherry gagged for a moment, but then, to his undieing shock, she swallowed him to the root. The beautiful gangster-girl sucked him almost painfully hard before finally backing off. And then she took him to the root again, sucking hard on him. With a howl of almost-pain, Finn drove his hips against her face as his balls let go. Cherry swallowed it all, not letting a drop spill.

His dick was a little sore, but still hard as a stone column. The beautiful woman knelt over him, licking her lips sensually. Sitting up, Finn grabbed her and pulled her to him. Spreading her lean legs wide, Cherry pressed her hot, horny snatch against him, and Finn forced his pecker inside. "Aaaagh," howled the deadly beauty. The big man began to fuck her hard, bouncing her on that fat dick. At the same time, he pulled the front of her gown open, baring her plump boobies. Caught somewhere between anger, hate, and a made sort of lust, Finn clamped his mouth on her left knocker and bit her hard enough to leave a mark. Cherry shrieked. Throwing back her head as he continued to pound his pole into her belly, she howled in lust.

It didn't take long. As wound up as they both were–and Cherry was still creamy from watching him lay waste to nearly a dozen men on her behalf–they both went over the edge, just three minutes after starting. Kissing and sucking on each other's tongues, even biting each other, the two collided like runaway trains. Screaming into his mouth, Cherry clawed bits of meat from his shoulder as she felt him shoot his hot goo into her hungry snatch.

Exhausted, Finn lay back, panting as though he'd run a race. Laying down beside him, Cherry put her head against the crook of his neck, savoring the strange feeling of having a man again. She could understand how her henchman had gotten in trouble. This... felt _good_. And yet, it was also maddening. She wanted her husband back. She wanted to see Rootbeer's smiling face again. She'd come into this to save his life after the fact. At the same time, she was finding new temptation in this. They'd made love in the bath for over an hour before dinner. The sex was already crazy.

And then he'd literally saved her life.

Before she could even register that Plumly was going to murder her, Finn had more or less killed him and was moving on to kill half his gang. "Finn," she murmured. "Yeah," he replied. "She never gave you anything," Cherry murmured. "For all the times you took care of her... In all the years you protected her, she never gave you love. Never gave you attention. She never gave you what you deserved." Finn knew who _she_ was. Running her fingers through his hair, she whispered, "think of all I gave you... Think of all I can still give you..." He frowned into the darkness. What was she saying? That this was something beyond a sick thrill for her? Turning to face her, he stared into her eyes.

Cherry teased his lips with a fingertip. "You've shown me loyalty tonight," she whispered. "Let me reward your loyalty... I can make you _happy_ again... We can be good together." Finn nodded. Satisfied, Cherry snuggled in against him and drifted off, leaving Finn more disturbed than ever. Was it evil to love somebody who was so thoroughly evil as she was? This was all going somewhere very dangerous, and he knew he was in danger of losing his soul. Cherry was very persuasive. Maybe it was that lawyer's tongue, but she could damn near convince him that hot was cold and black was white. Finn drifted off into an uneasy sleep with his mortal enemy curled up against him doing her best to corrupt his hero's heart.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35:

The noise came to Fionna's ears again, louder this time. Her eyes flicked to the door of the hotel room, and she found the knob jiggling. _What the what,_ thought the young woman? As she watched, the knob jiggled again, and she heard a whispered voice outside. Slipping out of the cot in the darkness, she slipped the sword from her pocket as she moved across to Patrick. "Mmmm, Fi," moaned the wizard. "Glob that's good." Fionna blushed to her hair. Was he? Was he havin' a dream about her? At the same time, there was somebody outside trying to get in, and she knew they needed to be up and ready to defend themselves.

"Pat," hissed the warrior-girl? "Pat?!" The wizard's eyes popped open, and he very nearly jumped out of his skin. "W-what're you doing," he stammered? Fionna shushed him. Nodding at the door, she said, "somebody's pickin' the lock..." The wizard sat up, as Fionna moved on to the two royals. Edging up beside Bon, she shook the young prince, whispering. "Bon! We gotta' go!" The royal's eyes popped open to find his sister there. "Fi," he burbled? "Wha?" Just then the door burst open. Patrick was on his feet just like that. As three men came through the door, Patrick sealed it behind them by conjuring a wall of ice.

Concentrating as hard as she could, Fionna willed her sword to extend as she rushed towards the three. Miracle of miracles, it worked. The sword extended, and she immediately went full hero-mode. As Fionna fought with their unwelcome guests, Bon grabbed his lady and ran to the bathroom. Patrick wasn't far behind. "Fionna," shouted the wizard! "Fionna that ice-wall's not gonna' hold them!" Indeed, they were bashing the window next to the door right now.

"I'm comin'," shouted the warrior-girl. With a deft move, she sliced one attacker's leg open across the muscle, causing him to drop to one knee. Her return swing ended his life. She jammed her sword into a second man's gut, opening him up from crotch to sternum. As she turned to the third man, he grabbed the blade at the hilt, and suddenly she was just holding a gem once again. Time stood still then, as she cursed her luck. Fortunately, in retracting, the razor-edged crystal had sliced open the last man's wrists and hands, and he had far more on his mind now than a fight. Fionna rushed into the bathroom, and Patrick sealed the door up with another wall of ice.

"What good will that do," howled French Toast?! "Open to ideas," retorted Patrick. Fionna was looking around her. "Perhaps if we set a fire," Bon suggested. "It would draw the authorities..." "Shhh," hissed Fionna. "How dare you shush a Prince," shouted French Toast?! "Shut it, or I'll give you back to them," growled the warrior-girl. Drawing herself to her full height, French Toast prepared to give the blonde an epic tongue-lashing, but her irritated fiancé growled, "shut it!" That crushed all remaining resistance, as the younger teen went into pout mode.

Fionna turned and went to the grating that hung at the base of the bathroom's rear-wall. Getting down on her hands and knees, the pretty blonde girl did her best to peer through. "They're knocking on the door," rumbled Bon. "Pat," said the blonde girl. "Need one o'your lights!" The wizard conjured one of his curious glowing globes and sent it down to the grating next to Fionna's head. "Yup," said Fi. She took out a pocketknife and carefully unscrewed the grating from the wall. Sliding it aside, she wriggled her way through into the space beyond.

Face hot, Bon turned away from the sight of his sister's butt gyrating like that. Patrick continued to stare in fascination at Fionna's wiggling ass–at least until Frenchie began to giggle. "Uh, Patrick," said Bon. "I think you forgot to zip up when you left the toilet earlier." "Doggone it," howled Patrick as he realized what the toast-girl was laughing at. Face hot, he quickly turned away, stuffed himself back in his pants, and zipped his fly.

"Yeah, there's a way out on this side," whispered the blonde bunny, as she crawled into the open space beyond the bathroom. "C'mon!" Patrick poured a little more power into the wall blocking the door. The ice was starting to crack. Meanwhile Bon was trying to convince his bride to go through. Kneeling there on her hands and knees, the pretty girl was staring into the darkness with a look of utter terror. "Th-there's gonna be bugs in there," she gasped! "C'mon," growled Fionna! "They're gonna' kill us if we stay!" "B-but I'm afraid of buuuuggs...," howled Frenchie as Bon applied his foot to her ass, shoving her through the opening. Fionna grabbed the other end and hauled her through.

Bon was right behind. He quickly shimmied through the gap, shedding his coat to do so. Patrick put a little more ice on the wall, eventually deciding to fill half the bathroom, before he too dove through the opening. Fionna wriggled through long enough to pull the grating back over the opening. Then the quartet went running down the long gallery that existed behind the motel rooms, ducking under overhanging pipes and dodging around fittings. They needed the truck. They needed the truck to get out of here. And she needed a weapon.

Back in the hotel room, Penny the Thief King had just come inside. It had taken a while to figure out where that bitch had stashed these stiffs. Now vengeance was finally at hand. All they had to do was get through that damned wall. "It's solid ice," muttered one of the thugs. "Do I look like I care," snarled the Thief King?! " _Break it down!_ " And she slashed the throat of the wounded man as a warning to the rest. Stepping back, she stood there, dart-rifle in hand, waiting.

In the tunnel, Fionna was in the lead, stepping over and through puddles of unknown goop as she closed on the exit. The tunnel seemed to lay between the two sides of the motel, and you could see into any of the bathrooms from inside. Somebody had carefully drilled holes into the walls, and Fionna immediately thought of the creepy janitor. She'd showered in that bathroom! Part of her wanted to hang around and kick the shit out of that old fucker! Unfortunately, they needed to be out of there.

Coming to the end of the tunnel, the pretty blonde girl drew her pocket knife and unfolded it. It wasn't a sword, but it was lots better than the useless crystal in her pocket. Fionna put her eye to the gap where the door hung partially open. They were behind the counter where the attendant sat. The room beyond was mostly empty. Much closer, she could see the attendant, sitting in the chair with a steel dart through the middle of his forehead. _Well, I guess I won't have to kick his ass,_ thought Fi.

Shoving the door open, she went scooting out of the passageway and straight over the counter, surprising the two men there. One was an ugly three-eyed mutant with shit-brown skin and puss-oozing sores on his body. He took one look at Fionna and froze. The buxom blonde warrior girl hadn't had a chance to grab her bra before the thugs burst in, and now her big boobies wobbled back and forth with every step she took. Transfixed by the sight of those huge knobs wobbling towards him, eye-guy didn't manage to shout a warning at his buddy–a corpulent mutant with legs like tree-trunks. Fionna stabbed fatso repeatedly in the back until he went down. Then she was on top of eye-guy as he backpedaled while trying to raise the dart-gun in his hand.

Fionna slashed and stabbed at him, gashing his arms and chest, and she was just about to make a killing-strike against his throat when the fat man grabbed her ankle and held her. That gave the mutant a second chance, as he raised his gun. They'd hoped to take her alive. The Thief King had intended to sell tickets for people to watch her gang-raped before she killed the bitch. She wanted to make Fionna the Human's last moments on Ooo a literal hell on earth. Eye-guy wasn't going to get to watch that if he was dead, and she was perfectly capable of killing him. As he raised the gun, the air chilled a precipitous two-hundred degrees around his hand, freezing the blood in his veins and causing his hand to break off at the wrist. Shocked by the sudden pain, the mutant began to scream. At least he tried. Switching grips, Fionna cut his throat from ear-to-ear.

By now Patrick had killed fatso, sending a shard of ice crashing into his fat head, allowing Fionna to jerk her leg free of his grip. Shocked by the sight of all that gore, Frenchie began to noisily empty her stomach of dinner. "C'mon," hissed Fionna. A tremendous crash from the tunnel told her that the Thief King's henchmen had just broken through into the bathroom. They'd be coming up that tunnel soon.

Indeed, Penny was herding her killers into the tunnel just now. She needed to get her hands on that bitch. She thirsted for vengeance just now. This cunt had killed her boy! If that wasn't enough, she'd made arrangements with one of the biggest gangsters out of Oceanside. He was supposed to get first dibs on Fionna the Human Girl's hot body. He was helping her finance the hunters who were tracking the bitch, and he would get really kind of pissed if he didn't get what he wanted.

"There's a light," announced one of the killers! "They went that way!" "After them," snarled Penny! "Find that girl!" She didn't give two damns for Boniface Bubblegum right now. She wanted Fionna. She wanted to make her _suffer_. The pack of thugs went tearing down the tunnel, almost heedless of the pipes and equipment jutting out into the space. Right now they were more terrified of what the Thief King and their boss would do if they failed to bring back Fionna than they were of injury.

As the thugs came hauling ass down the tunnel, Fionna and her friends hustled down the walkway to the truck, with Fionna in terror that Penny's goons had sabotaged it. They had her spare key, after all. If they wanted to take it, they could. As they approached the truck, Fionna scanned it, looking for signs of damage. The hood was down, and the tires looked intact. As they got close, one of the bandits came out of the room and turned towards the sound of running feet approaching him.

Knowing he would shout for help, Fionna accelerated, trying to get to him before he could scream. Pat's bolt of ice got there first, piercing his lung, and spinning him around. As he tried to scream–managing to barely wheeze instead–Fionna got to grips with him, cutting his throat too, and dropping him on the ground. As he went down, her spare key fell out of his hand. _Of all the luck,_ thought the buxom adventuress. She grabbed the key and rushed to the door. As her friends piled in, a shouted, "there they are!" announced that the Thief King's dudes had found them.

Steel darts slammed into the heavily overbuilt doors that Billy had helped Fionna retrofit. Fionna slipped the key into the ignition, praying to Glob that the truck started right up. Patrick cranked the shield on his side up to block the window, and Bon did the same in back. The thugs came running down the walkway, with the Thief King shouting at them to cut the tires. Before they could correct their aim, Fionna threw the truck into reverse and peeled out of the space. Sawing at the wheel, she spun the truck to the left. As darts cracked the rear window, the pretty blonde tore out of there.

They had no plan. There really wasn't time for much more planning than 'get the fuck out'. Fionna drove. She drove for hours through the darkness at speeds that were just short of lethal. On at least three occasions the truck bottomed out so hard, Patrick feared she would break an axle, and she came close to flipping the thing at least once. After that, the wizard took her hand, willing her to calm down, and, for a wonder, she did. That soothing touch calmed her down, and Fionna slowly eased off the throttle. Somewhere near two in the morning, the young warrior woman realized that she was starting to lose the bubble, and so she finally slowed down, pulled over, and stopped the truck. Turning in her seat, she looked at her companions and asked, "everybody ok?"

That was when French Toast started screaming at her. The young princess shouted at Fionna about making her go through that nasty, bug-infested tunnel. She screamed at Fionna about letting those awful people try to hurt them. She complained about how unpleasant this all was. She didn't have her makeup. She didn't have her clothes. She'd been forced to wear the same dress for _days_! The three other teens stared at her a moment. As her rantings reached a crescendo, first Bon, then Patrick, and finally Fionna burst into laughter.

As French Toast stared, they cackled in unholy glee, howling laughter at the younger teen. It was the stupidest thing they'd ever heard of! They'd just finished running for their lives from people who wanted to kill them. The Thief King was chasing them to deliver them up to the Boss of Bosses. When she wasn't after Fionna to sell her into sex-slavery. They'd been shot at with _real guns_. And this chick was missing her _makeup table_?! French Toast scowled at the three of them a moment, turning her most furious gaze on them, but that only made them laugh all the harder. Opening the door she got out and stormed off in a huff. Shaking his head in amusement, Bon got out and went after her.

Wiping at his eyes, Patrick said, "we're in trouble, Fi. We lost all our food." Fionna nodded absently. They'd lost their food supply. They'd paid for that hotel room through the end of the month, and now her sword wasn't working. Again. Seeing that she was a little distracted, Patrick asked, "you ok?" Scratching at the side of her right booby, Fionna muttered, "dammit! I left my bra in there!" Patrick blushed. He'd noticed they were jiggling kind of a lot. Muttering curses, she said, "that's going t'throw my karate-biz off." Still muttering curses, she jumped out of the truck. Popping the hood latch, she looked over the engine. It was a little warm. Billy hadn't had time to install the additional cooling system, and she'd pushed it a little hard.

"Is it going to run," asked Patrick? "Looks ok," muttered Fi. As she closed the hood, she glanced over to find him watching her. She was a little embarrassed about being a jerk outside of Thief City. "Good job back there," she said. Patrick blinked. Flushing, Fionna said, "you really picked up the slack when my sword stopped working again." "No prob, bob," said Patrick. Fionna headed to the rear of the truck. Popping the cap on the fuel tank, she said, "we could use some more water for the engine." It was running a little low. Nodding, Patrick said, "we could use some more for ourselves. Whyn't we wait here 'til morning? We can raise the shields part way to give us cover and take turns on watch." "Ok," said Fionna.

Leaving Patrick with the truck, she went in search of Bon and toast-face. She didn't have to go far. Bon had caught up with the breakfast beauty after only a hundred feet. "I don't understand why you all are so mean t'me," howled the young lady. Calmly, the older teen said, "my sweet, no-one hates you. We-we came all this way to save your life." "Th-then why do you all do mean things to me," babbled the princess? Slipping his arms around her, Bon said, "it's the price of the sheltered life you were made to live, my darling. It's... Those men weren't going to wait for you to decide that it was alright to go into the tunnel. We'd have been right back in their clutches with nobody coming to save us." "B-but we're royals," stammered French Toast! "N-nobody would harm us!"

With a sigh, Bon said, "your mother might have you believe that, darling, but it couldn't be further from the truth. M-my father saw several royals murdered when the aliens came. You have to open your eyes. You're not in your mother's palace, and neither am I. Fi and Patrick are doing what they can to keep us safe. I know you're upset, and I understand how much it stinks to have to wash the same pair of panties over and over. This is a temporary thing. I'm... I'm going to take you somewhere wondrous when this is over. We'll honeymoon on the far side of Ooo." "Really," she breathed? "Yes, honey," said Bon. "Let's... Let's get back to the truck. We should probably go before the bandits find us."

Fionna turned and headed back herself. She didn't want them thinking she'd spied on them. Returning to the truck, she found Patrick doing an inventory of what they had in the bed of her truck. Most of it was just her typical adventuring gear–rope and cordage, sleeping-rolls and bedding to keep warm, camp-stove and fuel. Of course they had no water. No canteens. And now Fionna didn't really even have a weapon better than her pocket-knife. Hearing Fionna come up, the wizard turned to face her.

"Not much, is it," muttered Fi. She'd only _started_ building up a set of adventuring gear. The truck was woefully unprepared right now. "At least we got the spare-key back," said Patrick. "Hold onto it," said Fionna. "In case we get separated." She wished they had one for each of them. It would make her feel a lot better. Opening the door, she sat down on the extendable step, looking depressed. "You ok," asked Patrick? With a sigh, Fionna said, "I feel... _helpless_. I... Patrick, I never thought there'd be a day when my dad ran into something he couldn't handle." "Nobody ever threatened to whack his whole family before, Fi," replied Patrick.

He came and squatted down on the ground before her. "Hey, Fi," said the wizard. "We're gonna' get through this. Your dad... He's one of the coolest dudes there is. Finn's the most Alpha of Alpha-dudes. He's going to put that bitch in her place. This is all going to turn out just fine." Fionna nodded, but she hardly looked like she believed it.

When Bon and French Toast got back, Fionna bundled them into the back of the truck. Cranking on the ratchet on the door, she raised the armored shield on toast-face's side of the truck to cover the window and protect the young heiress from danger. While she worked at that, Bon lifted the seat and cranked up the rear-shield part way. That would at least let them look partially out the back, and it was better protection than the shattered glass.

"Found something," announced Patrick. Done with her work, Fionna went to see what he was looking at. He had her maps spread out on the hood. "There's a cave near here," said he. "Big enough to hide the truck. There's a spring there too. We can fill the tank, and there'll be water enough for us too." Then all they would need was food. Patrick rolled up the map and slid it back into its case. Then the quartet got back in the truck, locked the doors, and settled in to wait out the night with the key in the ignition, ready to go.

In the morning, Fionna drove them slowly and carefully across the intervening land, fording a couple of streams, and weaving her way through dense woods to reach the cave that Patrick found. Jumping out of the truck, she left Bon in the driver's seat, while she fished out a torch from the bed, lit it, and went for a preliminary exploration of the cave's entry. It was only after she'd gone that Patrick realized she was still without a weapon stronger than a pocket-knife, and he found himself muttering curses. They had to get that sorted. Soon.

Fortunately, Fionna returned from her explorations looking none the worse for wear, though her hair was a little wild with nothing to cover it. Wizard and prince did their best not to ogle her boobies as she strode up to the truck–Bon because he was supposed to be acting like a brother and Patrick because he'd already had one embarrassment. The candy-prince asked, "what's it look like inside?" "It's _great_ ," said Fionna! "C'mon! Follow me!"

The blonde turned and walked back into the cave. With no better idea, the prince started the truck and followed her in. They wove their way around stalagmites and boulders. They crept over mud and through water. Finally, they arrived at a magnificent mansion that sat in the bottom of the cavern. Bon and Patrick could only stare at the sight of what looked like a palace sitting inside a dank, musty cave. French Toast, however, was quick to see the possibilities. "Oh, now _this_ is a refuge worthy of the name," announced the pretty princess, as she jumped down out of the truck. Grabbing her soon-to-be sister-in-law, French Toast hugged her tight and said, "oh, you have saved us, Fionna!" Blushing, Fionna replied, "glad you like it, toast-face." Grabbing Fionna by the arm, the breakfast person said, "come along! You can show me everything!"

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Finn the Human came walking into Banana Guard headquarters after the long, strange excursion to Wildberry Kingdom. Cherry had been in a strange mood nearly the entire time, flirting and clinging even in the face of all the nasty people in the kingdom. She'd gotten her way. She had a new place to sell her poison, but Finn was a little frightened and creeped out by the whole business. He'd gotten back to his wives and done his best to pretend that he hadn't just been out of town with another woman, but even to him things were strained. Now he had to check in with Star. He was hoping she had a line on where they were hiding Bonnie. If they could find the princess, then he had a chance of ending this nightmare.

As he came down the hall, headed for the stairs up to his office, he ran into his _other_ daughter going the other way. Finn felt a chill go down his spine. He'd been dodging Shoko for _weeks_. She'd called. She'd sent him texts. She'd sent emails. He'd done his best to avoid responding out of fear that Cherry would learn their ugly family secret. Now it appeared he was out of room to maneuver.

"Ok, dad," growled Shoko. "Why's that _thing_ downstairs faking like it's my mom?" Finn flushed to his hair, and he shushed the princess. Shoko growled, "fuck that! I want to know what's... mmph?!" Finn clamped a hand over his daughter's mouth and shoved her into a handy closet. Shutting the door behind them, he brought out his flashlight and began typing a message in morse-code. 'Mom's been kidnaped. Stop. Spies in the palace. Stop. They don't know you're my daughter. Stop. Pretend you don't know about P-Bot. Stop. For your own safety. Stop.'

Shoko gasped in horrified shock. She snatched the flashlight from her dad. She wasn't going to accept that too-quick explanation. Now she typed out her own message. 'What's going on? Stop. Who's doing this? Stop.' Taking the flashlight back, Finn did his best to explain with the limited communications they had just what was going on and how long it had been going on. As they traded messages, Shoko slowly came to understand just how this had managed to come sneaking up on them. She found herself utterly terrified. If this person had managed to do all of this under her mother's very nose, she was dangerously intelligent.

Coming to the end, Finn admonished her, 'keep quiet. Stop. I'm working on getting you a bodyguard. Stop. And don't swear at your father, kid. Stop.' Without another word, Finn pocketed the flashlight and stepped out of the closet, leaving Shoko staring after him. Now she knew, and she had no idea what to do about it.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36:

"What are you looking for," asked Patrick? Fionna had been turning the place upside down for over an hour. She'd looked behind dusty paintings, underneath dirt-crusted tables, and even inside the stove. "A letter M," replied the buxom bunny. Which made no sense to either Patrick or French Toast. "You're right, Fionna," shouted Bon! "Why didn't I think of that?!" Without a further word, he too started searching. Patrick glanced at French Toast, who stared back in utter bafflement.

That was the limit for the young princess. Coolly, she said, "before I lose my temper, you two are going to explain why you're stirring up all this funk. Who knows? If it makes sense, Patrick and I might help..." Fionna ignored her, but Bon knew how much his future happiness depended on keeping his lady happy. As he and his sister continued to search, he explained, "the Queen of Vampires once maintained a series of secret lairs across the known kingdoms. Each was marked with her monogram..." Patrick now saw what Bon was getting at. If Marceline kept a place as a lair, she might have stuff they could use! "Where would she have left her sigil," asked the wizard? "Hidden in plain sight," Fionna replied, "in the most important room..." She went into a sneezing fit.

Rolling her eyes, French Toast opined, "you two are clods!" Giving Bon a sad look, she added, "I expect better of you! The most important place in an immortal vampire musician's castle isn't the _kitchen_ or the _bedroom_. It's the grand hall! Where else would she entertain guests?!" The younger teen swept out, bound for the big room at the rear of the cavern. With a shrug, Patrick followed. Bubba came next, with a grumbling Fionna falling in at the rear. They found French Toast standing in the middle of the floor, staring down at something. Fionna was about ready to pound her, when the younger teen scuffed some of the filth aside with her slipper. There was a piece of a letter visible under all the crud.

Brushing past the toast girl, the blonde immediately began uncovering the floor. As Pat and Bon watched, Fionna uncovered a massive letter 'M' done in opals on the floor. "Well I'll be," murmured the warrior girl! "Awesome!" Turning to French Toast, she gave her sister-in-law a big, sloppy kiss that left Frenchie sputtering. Now it was time to see if there was stuff they could use here.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Finn was at his desk, pretending to work on a report while he exchanged text messages with Star. The secret phones were handy for keeping tabs on his daughter's efforts. So far Cherry hadn't figured out what they were doing. That could very well change when they launched phase two. Finn wanted to bust the jokers that Star found. Cherry wasn't a fighter. She could put a hit on somebody, but she really couldn't do it herself. That was his edge. If he could cut the head off the snake–preferably without her knowing it was him–he could end this. As he exchanged ideas about who they could hit first, his official phone rang. A glance revealed that the very person he'd been thinking about had just called.

He greeted the gangster girl with an uncertain, "hey," that spoke of his ambivalence about their affair. "Hi, honey," she replied in that sexy voice. Finn swallowed hard as he remembered the strange experience in Wildberry Kingdom. "I wanted you to know how much I enjoyed our trip, honey," she murmured. "Uh, yeah," said Finn. "I-I'm glad you did..." "You alone," she asked? "In my office," he replied. In a teasing voice she said, "I'm at work too. I'm taking a break. What are you doing?" Finn couldn't tell her the truth. Forcing calm into his voice, he answered, "readin' my dudes' crappy reports." The guards, as a rule, _stunk_. "Too bad, honey," said she. "I have half a mind to stop by in the car to cheer you up..." Finn felt his face go hot as she said, "I'd call up to your office. You'd come down..." The way she talked... She hadn't used one dirty word, and she already had him hot under the collar. He could almost _hear_ her licking her lips as she asked, "what do you imagine I'd be wearing?"

Finn gobbled. What was he going to say? The truth? "The blue dress," murmured Finn. "With the blue stockings underneath..." "Go on," she whispered. "Th-the black panties...," stammered Finn. "The small ones..." "You like my thong, baby," she asked? "Yes," Finn breathed. He liked it a lot. There were hints of amusement in her voice as she said, "we'd drive up to the lake for lunch and drinks... Mmmm... You'd take me into your arms and kiss me." "Y-yeah," murmured Finn. "You like to kiss me, don't you," she asked? "Yeah," he said. "Would you touch me," she asked? "Yeah," he breathed. Strangely enough, he could see her in that dress, and it made him hot thinking about it. "Would you play with my pussy," she asked? "Yes," he said. "I-I'd..." "Say it," she breathed. "Tell me what you'd do to me."

He told her how he would rub her hot snatch. He told her how he would toy with those plump knobs of hers–of how _nice_ they were. He told her how he would slip those skimpy panties off and go down on her. "Mmmm," moaned the slutty gangster-girl. "You do that so good, baby. I really like it when you taste me, and I love it when you get nasty and kiss me afterwards." If he didn't know any better, he would have thought she was playing with herself. The thought had his pecker hard as an iron pipe in his pants. "Would you fuck me, baby," she whined? "Yeah," he growled. "I wanna' pound that little ass." "You're so _big_ , honey," she moaned, and he _knew_ she was playing with her pussy. The thought of that–of the way she'd done that to Rootbeer Guy–almost made him shoot off in his pants! Momentarily, all he could hear was the sound of her heavy breathing and soft moans as she got herself off.

When she was calm again, she said, "come by for dinner tonight, Finn. Seven sharp, ok?" "Yeah," he breathed, and he knew his voice sounded strained. "I-I'll be there." She blew him a kiss and hung up. The hero shut off his phone. His mouth was bone dry. Deciding that he could use a glass of water– _ice_ water–Finn rose and went outside. Limping along with his pecker painfully hard in his pants, he tried to remember the last time this had happened. Probably the last time E had dropped in on him before they become a couple. One thing was certain, Cherry was just as nasty as he'd guessed years ago. Just as certain–a dark part of him enjoyed the attention. He didn't like that piece of him, but he knew it was there. _So make use of it, Finn,_ he told himself. Star could get a lot done while he kept Cherry occupied.

While Finn sought relief in the men's room, his kids were deep into the business of setting up their new hideout. Bon got the spring diverted into a pool in the center of the great hall. With that done, the quartet took mops and brooms to the filth, sweeping it out over the grand balcony at the end of the hall and into the valley below. Fionna got the truck carefully positioned for a fast escape, and Pat rigged up a rope on the balcony to give them a back door. By the time they were done, Frenchie had a pile of edible red mushrooms from the Vampire Queen's stash. Bon got the stove going and got busy making up a savory mushroom stew.

Sitting there chewing their way through dinner, the quartet were happy. They had sort of come together as a team. Frenchie had managed to rig up curtains to give them some separation and privacy. She'd managed to use the bedding from Fionna's truck along with the remnants of Marceline's old furniture to make up beds for the four of them. Now they actually kind of had a home. It was, in some ways, nicer than the hotel. Fionna would have been happy defending it, if she'd had any kind of real weapon.

"About that...," said Patrick, when she gave voice to those thoughts. Fionna glanced up to his smiling face. "I think I maybe figured out what's goin' on with your sword," said he. "Really," she asked? Nodding, the wizard said, "every time somebody else grabs the hilt, the sword gets all confused about who its owner is. We need to lock it to you permanently." "H-how would we do that," asked Fionna? It was clear from the sound of her voice that she feared losing a piece of herself–the way her dad had lost his right arm to the grass-sword. "Nothing like that," said Patrick. At least he hoped it wasn't going to be like that. Done with supper, he rose and dusted himself off. Cocking his head towards the hallway that led out of the great hall, he told the bad bunny, "c'mon, Fi. Let's get this sorted."

Hesitantly, Fionna rose to follow him. The pair slipped into the bedroom that lay beyond the hall, leaving French Toast with her beau. Almost as soon as they were out of earshot, the pretty teen slipped into her future-hubby's lap and embraced him. As mad as she'd been at him the night before, morning had brought clarity, and she knew he was right. She'd been a fool, worried about her hair and spiders and bugs when those men had clearly meant to kill them all. He'd kept her safe, and she was profoundly grateful he'd come into her life. More, knowing that Fionna was his _sister_ helped her cope with the fact that the exotic blonde was the most desirable woman on Ooo right now. "I love you, darling," murmured the princess. Bon slipped his arms around his lady, feeling foolish and content all at once.

Back in the bedroom, Patrick motioned for his chum to get the sword out and lay it on the ruined bed. He could see that it had once been a magnificent four-poster bed–the sort of romantic that belonged in a movie or something. A corner of him couldn't help thinking of making out with Fi on a bed like that. He was embarrassed about all the stuff that had gone on the previous night, though, and he quickly squashed those thoughts in favor of getting to grips with her squishy sword problem.

Fionna lay the sword on the ruined mattress, and Pat turned his wizard-eyes on it. "Yeah," said he. "It probably would have taken on its own if you'd had it uninterrupted for a year..." "A y-year," howled the blonde?! They didn't have a year! Scar-face was going to catch up to them long before that! "Settle down, Fi," laughed the wizard! "I may be able to speed up the process." Motioning for her to sit down, he said, "c'mon. Let's get started." Fi sat down cross-legged on the floor. Drawing symbols in the dust to focus his mind, Patrick got to work.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Fionna's dad came walking up to the doorway of Cherry's place, his eyes scoping out what he hadn't the last time he'd come. There were cameras everywhere. They were on the porch above the door. There was one on the wall. There was another hidden in the bushes by the sidewalk. There was even one on the lamp by the street. He didn't know how that was even possible, but he imagined she'd bribed somebody to get it done. He wouldn't have been a bit surprised to know that there were cameras in the homes and businesses around the house. Which of course would mean that she owned the owners of those homes and businesses.

Trying to project a calm he didn't feel, Finn rang the doorbell. Momentarily, Cherry's beautiful face was peering out at him through the opening between the door and the wall. "Bonjour, monsieur," she said. Finn babbled a greeting of his own. He wasn't good with this. He wasn't slick and sophisticated like she was. Of course he hadn't really thought of Rootbeer Guy as being that way either. She opened the door before him, announcing, "your dinner is waiting in the salon..." Finn was too busy staring to respond. She was dressed in a maid's outfit. A very sexy maid outfit. If there had been any doubts what she was planning for tonight, those doubts were dispelled.

Finn's legs moved all on their own as he walked into the house. He heard her shut the door behind him, and then he was _trapped_. That's what it felt like. He was trapped in here with a dream that was quite possibly his worst nightmare ever. The little sex-bomb strolled past him, announcing, "come to dinner, monsieur." Finn couldn't help noticing that the maid outfit was entirely transparent, and Cherry was wearing his favorite undies underneath. His mouth was bone dry when he reached the dining room table.

He'd eaten at that table quite a few times, dropping in on RBG and talking shop about bashing monsters and all the things he'd seen. It seemed so _wrong_ to be here with the other man's wife. At the same time, just the thought of what they'd done the last few weeks combined with what she was wearing, made walking uncomfortable. So he sat down. She'd told him to come to dinner, so here he was, and it sure made his pecker a lot more comfortable.

His naughty _maid_ went out into the kitchen and returned with a platter full of chicken smothered in a chocolate-pepper glaze. As Finn began to work his way through dinner, the black-widow bustled about, serving up dinner and giving him plenty of opportunities to look at her. Everything she wore was just made to drive him crazy–from the sexy panties to the old-fashioned stockings and garters to the black push-up bra that barely contained her plump boobies. The more he looked, the hotter he got until he was in a constant state of arousal. The more he watched her, the more she bent and turned and twisted, showing off her still-dynamite body.

On top of that, she was wearing some sort of perfume that was driving him crazy, and she did all she could to _touch_ him. She touched him when she was bringing him something to eat, brushing her hands lovingly across his. She touched him when she went past, teasing at the base of his neck with her fingers. They were soft, feather-light touches that almost made him _shiver_. All totaled, she had him in a state where he wanted to jump all over her.

By the time dinner was done, the Captain of the Guard was completely distracted, his mind more focused on Cherry than any of his grand plans to turn the tide and rescue his princess. Standing there at his side, daubing at his lips with a napkin, Cherry said, "you had quite the appetite, monsieur. I hope it gave you strength to match..." Finn blushed as he realized what she meant. Taking his hand, she led her unwilling lover down the hall to the bedroom in the back of the house. Finn flushed in embarrassment as he realized that he was about to bang Rootbeer Guy's wife on Rootbeer Guy's bed.

"Shall I turn down the bed, monsiuer," she asked? She had an impish smile on her face as she said it as if it was some kind of in-joke. _Maybe it is,_ he thought. Maybe it was something she shared with RBG. "Y-yeah," he stammered. "Th-that'd be nice." Bending over in front of him–giving him a good view of that lush, beautiful butt int that transparent skirt, Cherry drew the sheets and comforter down from the head of the bed. Finn's pecker, already hard as an iron bar, was definitely doing a lot of his thinking for him right now. He was trapped here. She had the power to make his family suffer, and she was holding Bonnie prisoner. Him saying that he didn't want to cheat wasn't going to matter in the least.

"Oh, monsieur," gasped Cherry as she felt Finn grab her ass. Spinning her around, he drew her in, squeezing that round ass and feeling the muscles flex under her skin. He slipped his right hand around to her front and began running the strong fingers up and down her hot body against her flat, washboard stomach. At the same time, he looked her over with a sort of _hunger_. The hero leaned down and began to nip and bite at her neck. Soft sighs came out from her lips as he continued to run his powerful hands all over her cool body. He felt feverishly hot to her, and his hands, rough as they were, were driving her crazy.

Finn reached down, jerked the hem of her skirt up, and slipped his hand underneath. A gasp left her lips as she felt his rough fingers slide under the waistband of her panties. And then he was rubbing her pussy, sliding one finger up and down her crack and rubbing her hot joy-button. "Ooooh, shit," whined the slutty villainess. Her hips began to move then, rubbing her hot honey-pot against his hand. Finn put his lips to hers and stuffed his tongue into her mouth. "Ooooh," moaned the sexpot.

Finn slipped his hand up the back of her skirt and got a handful of her ass, skin-on-skin. It was so soft and smooth, and her whole body was so cool. He could feel her slick girl-juice dribbling down onto his fingers, and he smeared that goo around her hot opening before sliding two fingers inside. Cherry shrieked into his mouth, and her hips jumped. Breaking that kiss, Cherry whined, "monsieur... Are you going to...?" "Yeah," said Finn. "Yeah, I'm gonna..."

Grabbing her by the hips, he picked her up and threw her down on the bed. Then, leaning over her, he grabbed the waist of her panties, slid them off, and tossed them aside. Cherry screamed when he dove into her hot muff. Hips wriggling around, body thrashing, the sexy gangster-girl begged for more as he expertly worked her snatch over. Seeing stars, Cherry shrieked and screamed her way through an orgasm that was every bit as satisfying as anything her husband had ever given her.

As the lady recovered, Finn got out of his clothes as if he was running an all-out sprint. After the nasty phone-sex, he wanted to fuck the shit out of her. As he was struggling to get out of his pants, Cherry sat up, unfastened the snap at the back of her neck, and slipped her maid outfit off over her head, tossing it into the corner with the panties. When Finn climbed up over her, she was more than ready. Grabbing that fat dick, she aimed it at her pussy, and held it steady for him to get to work.

"Aaaooooh," howled the Boss of Bosses as the Captain of the Guard eased his big pecker into her. She slipped her legs around his waist and held on as he began to ride her hard and fast. It came hard and fast, with Finn up to full-speed in just a minute. Cherry found herself pressing her face into his shoulder and screaming into his chest as he pounded her hot little ass into the bed. Soon the bed was squeaking and banging into the wall behind the headboard as Finn strove to fuck his evil girlfriend to death.

Their climax came fast and violent, with Cherry shaking and screaming and clawing bits of meat off his back and arms. At the height of his pleasure, Finn bit her lip hard enough to draw blood as he shot his goo into her. Then, just before he might have fallen on her, Finn turned and fell over on his back, taking her with him.

For more than five minutes, the two lay there, with Cherry resting against his hard, muscular body. He was harder and fitter now than he had been as a teen! His body was absolutely heavenly, satisfying her thirst as nothing ever had before. He hadn't gone entirely soft, and she felt wonderfully, marvelously _full_. It was the best sex she'd ever had, bar none. Even her husband, randy as he often was, never gave it to her like Finn did. Which was leaving Cherry with a bit of a quandary.

She'd entered into this little fling to _control_ him. She'd always intended to kill him right after Bonnibel was dead. Honestly, she'd toyed with the idea of killing both at once–making them watch each other die. Finn, who was supposedly Rootbeer Guy's friend, hadn't lifted a finger or once raised his voice to demand that Princess Bubblegum restore her husband to life, so, as far as Cherry was concerned, he could go too. Now, though...

 _You're becoming infatuated,_ she thought. The sex was most of it, but he also had a way of making her feel like a woman, cuddling and snuggling with her instead of rushing to get away. He was attentive, holding the door open for her, and keeping her safe. It had been a _very_ long time since she had felt that. Sometimes she thought it wasn't tactical. Those moments came most often when he'd done something selfless for her. She thought that maybe he was starting to accept this–that he belonged to her now. She'd been tempted to put that to the test, requiring him to stay overnight, just to see how he handled the two bimbos at his house.

A part of her looked at this as a betrayal. It felt like she was betraying everything she had worked for. This was supposed to be about bringing her husband back from beyond, but lately a dangerous idea had begun to take root in her mind. She would have the decorpsinator serum and cloning formulas. She'd be immortal. She would have plenty of time to bring Rootbeer back to life. She could live a full life. With Finn. Then, after a suitable period of mourning, she could have her husband back.

Of course there were complications for her little plan. James was irritated with her, mostly because she was ignoring him and his demands. He wanted the cloning formula. He wanted to clone himself and to give every person in the kingdom the right to make dozens of clones too. His goals had never truly aligned with hers. He was in it for the anarchy. She was in it for just vengeance and the chance to take over the kingdom. She didn't _want_ hundreds or thousands of clones running around. She wanted immortality. The decorpsinator serum and cloning formulas offered limitless lifespans for all the citizens. Finn was right about one thing. The world couldn't support what James wanted. As far as she was concerned, James had outlived his usefulness. She'd been thinking of making him a martyr to the cause–maybe have him die taking out Princess Shoko. Just now, though, she was thinking of rewriting her plans–to include her new man.

"What're you thinking," she asked him? He was much harder to read than she had originally expected. He'd changed a lot in the last sixteen years or so. Coolly, Finn replied, "thinking of a woman..." Stroking his chest, she asked, "Huntress? Simone? Or maybe Bonnibel Bubblegum...?" "Maybe I'm thinking of you," he said. She frowned down at him. "Me," she asked with a frown? Rolling over until he had her pinned beneath him, he said, "maybe I'm thinking about might-have-beens...? Maybe I'm wondering what would have happened if I took Jake's suggestion..."

"W-what suggestion is that," she asked? Leaning down, touching his forehead to hers–feeling the chill of her skin–he whispered, "Jake suggested I should try to get in your pants... that since you were alone, maybe you'd like the company..." Her mouth dropped open. As he spoke, he caressed her soft body, teasing her cool flesh. Filling his hands with her boobies, he said, "these _are_ pretty nice..." "Oooaah," she hissed as her eyes clenched shut. With her legs thrown wide like that, she felt so _open_ and vulnerable.

Finn put his nose to her throat and sniffed her insistently, savoring the scent of her perfume. A part of him _did_ wonder how things would have gone if he had taken Jake's suggestion to seduce her. Maybe she wouldn't have gotten twisted up on her own anger and turned evil. Drawing back, he shoved his fat log into her, making her shriek. Leaning down, he bit her shoulder and throat as he started railing her again. "Ooah, Oaah, oh," she whined, as her fingers clawed at his chest.

Finn grabbed her hair and pulled her lips to his. She squealed into his mouth as Finn really started railing her hard, slamming his meat into her belly over and over again. Cherry thrashed and shook beneath him. Biting her lips, the sexy little piece of candy wailed, "aaaooggghh!" Finn slipped a hand under her and grabbed a handful of her ass, while he rode her hard. Her slim legs wrapped themselves around his waist. Over and over he reamed her out, his hips clapping into hers, making the bed shake and groan. Finally, he could take no more. Jamming his rod into her belly to the hilt, he unloaded all his goo in her hot snatch as she screamed loud enough to be heard outside.

Rolling over again, holding her against him, Finn caressed her beautiful body while she recovered. Panting like she'd run a race, her body shivering, she tried to make sense of what had just happened. Usually she had to all but order him out of his clothes. Now he'd just ravished her twice in a row, all on his own. What did this mean? His fingers stroked the small of her back, just above her ripe little ass. The little woman murmured, "stay the night..." Without hesitation, Finn said, "ok." Drawing the covers up, he wrapped her in his powerful arms and held her.

Listening to his soft snoring, Cherry sighed. She couldn't give this up. She simply couldn't. She would have to change her plans a little. She would have to leave Bonnie Bubblegum alive a little longer. _Maybe if I'm pregnant,_ she thought. He would be tied to her by their child. That would let her maybe get rid of Bonnibel sooner rather than later. One thing was certain, though.

It was time for James to go.

As the Boss of Bosses tried her best to seduce the Captain of the Guard, Patrick Petrikov found himself bewitched by the Captain's daughter. He and Fionna had been at it for _hours_ , making slow progress. Today Fionna was focused. Physical things tended to calm her and drain some of her endless energy, and she had been pretty involved in whipping their hideout into shape.

It was _Patrick_ who was unfocused. How often did a Beta-Dude get so much time alone with a girl like Fi? It was like he'd hit the jackpot. Unfortunately the distraction of peeping that hot bod made fixing the sword a problem. He was close. They had managed to get the sword answering Fionna's commands _twice_. In fact, they had discovered things about the sword that they hadn't known before. Unfortunately Patrick couldn't quite make that last leap to make the sword permanently imprinted on the buff blonde. It was time to call it. He needed rest.

Rising stiffly, Patrick told the hot blonde, "we'll try tomorrow." He expected an argument. Instead, he got a heartfelt thanks. Fionna thanked him profusely and hugged him. The feel of her big knobs pressed against him made him blush. Seemingly oblivious, Fionna headed back to their makeshift 'rooms'. She'd be first on guard tonight. Patrick was a little slower. His legs were a little stiff, and on top of that he was afraid someone might see the stiffy he had in his pants.

Fionna was half-expecting to find her brother railing toast-face. Instead she found them curled up in front of their _room_ , watching the entrance. They _were_ kissing, but both were fully dressed. Clearing her throat, the warrior-girl let them know she was there. The two teens broke contact and swiftly separated. "I'm back," said Fi. "I'll take watch." She headed back into her room to grab a water bottle. When she returned, French Toast was gone. Fionna found an embarrassed Bon standing there.

"Second time I've seen you kissing that girl right in front of my face," huffed Fionna. Bubba blushed to his hair. He hadn't done anything to talk through this with his sister. It wasn't fair. If he was confused, he knew Fionna was just as confused. Softly, he said, "sorry, Fi... I'm... Are you mad at me?" Laughing, she punched him in the shoulder, saying, "nah! _Dude_ , she's totes into you!" Boniface gave her a suspicious look. He couldn't forget how she'd felt when they found out they were brother and sister. To his surprise, Fionna hugged him, saying, "you guys are gonna' be aces together. I just know it!"

The change surprised him. At the same time, he loved her now more than ever, and he wanted her to be happy too. Knowing he might regret it, he asked, "what about you?" Blushing a little, Fionna admitted, "I... I think I found somebody..." She'd had an epiphany in the truck when Pat came looking for her. And to find him dreaming about her... Bubba hugged her back, little realizing the unintentional sabotage they were both doing as a very jealous Patrick Petrikov stepped into the room just then.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37:

The wine was something she wasn't actually supposed to have. She was approaching sixteen, but she was a long way from eighteen. Her mother, if she was here, would have sent her to the dungeon for a few days just for having a sip. Right now, with her brother missing, her father doing his best to keep the kingdom from spiraling out of control, and gangsters running wild in the streets, Shoko was in a state of turmoil. She needed the wine to calm her nerves as she tried to figure out what to do.

Reasoning that the palace wasn't a safe place anymore if they could snatch her mom and replace her with a duplicate, the young princess had decamped to the observatory across town. The Royal Observatory, with its massive concrete-and-candy-steel walls was defensible. The laboratories and other facilities gave her access to the surveillance system that her mother had used to keep tabs on goings on around the city. Now she needed a plan of action.

Maybe it was her father's influence. Maybe it was in her DNA. The tall candy-person couldn't just _sit_ here. She had to do something. Question was, what was she going to do? She was young, and she was a little naive. She knew that. Those were her deficits. She didn't have the depth of knowledge or experience her father had, and she hadn't yet learned the lessons in statecraft her mother had learned. She was intelligent, though. She knew most everything there was to know about how the kingdom itself ran. She knew where the food came from. She knew where the waste was dumped. She knew who took care of the roads, and she knew who swept the streets. What she was struggling with, just now, was how to exploit that knowledge to exert power over her enemies.

A knocking at the window startled the young woman. Frowning, the tall princess stared at the window in fear a moment. But then, she could hardly be sure she had heard that noise. Sipping at hot, spiced wine, the young woman continued her pacing, going back and forth in front of the fire. This place was a little creepy, and she had a constant fear she was being watched. She'd covered all the cameras and disabled the wires for good measure, but she still had that feeling.

The knocking came again, louder this time, and Shoko couldn't ignore it. The tall candy person found herself staring in fear at the window. Besides the chimney and door, it was the only opening in the room. It was an obvious vector for an attack. So did she dare go and look? _Do I have a choice,_ thought Shoko. Just because she didn't go to the window didn't mean they couldn't get her. With a sigh, the tall girl put down her glass and headed over to the one window she had.

She saw nothing at first. Then a hand appeared, pointing up at the latch. With trembling fingers, Shoko unfastened the latch and stood back, adopting a karate-stance just in case. She didn't have as much occasion to practice it as her oldest brother and sisters, but she thought she could hold her own. Almost as if summoned by the thought, Star stepped over the window-sill and into her room wearing a large wooden box strapped to her back. "Took you long enough," muttered the wood-nymph. Shoko stared at her. She was wearing an all-black outfit, rather like a ninja. At her belt hung a badge, lacquered in black.

"Y-you were deputized," stammered the blonde. "Yup," muttered Star, as she shut the window. Moving to the table, she set down the box she'd been carrying. "Are you my bodyguard," asked the royal? "Nope," puffed Star. She was breathless. "Why are you out of breath," asked the royal? "Climbing walls and holding on by my fingernails isn't exactly easy," muttered the wizard, "and this box ain't exactly light." She sounded irritated, and Shoko quickly offered apologies. "I-I didn't expect you," said the princess. The older girl said, "dad's not exactly happy about you moving out here by yourself." "It's safer than being in the palace," replied Shoko. "It suggests you know something," retorted Star. "You were safer when they thought you were an obliviot." Shoko flushed. That wasn't really her way.

Moving on, Star pointed to the box and said, "there's your bodyguard. Open it when I've been gone ten minutes." Without another word, she moved back to the window. Opening it, she stepped up and over the sill, falling forward. Shoko rushed to the window in terror that her sister had fallen. When she looked down into the darkness, Star was gone. Sealing the window, Shoko immediately went back to the box, and popped the lid open. To her surprise, it was filled with nothing but fine-grain sand. That didn't make sense at all. Was this some kind of joke? Star had played pranks on her before–good ones–but this didn't seem like the time.

"Please step back and close your eyes," announced a voice. Shoko's head whipped this way and that in fear. "Trust me," said the voice. "Just step back." Shoko stepped back. To her shock, the sand began to flow out of the box, wafting through the air. At the same time, a blast of ferocious heat from her fireplace announced that _something_ was happening. The young princess closed her eyes in fear. When she opened them again, she was staring at a dapper young fellow, who now stood before her fireplace. Tall and handsome, he had a face to stun, and that was all the more true because of his vibrant orange skin.

Her visitor was an elemental.

Striding towards her, he said, "I'm Randy. The King of the Flame Kingdom sent me. I'm going to be your bodyguard." Shoko _stared_ at him. She _knew_ Phoebe. Phoebe the Flame King had held her when she was a baby. She'd played at the Flame King's feet, and even gone along when her mother visited the Fire Kingdom. She'd never met an elemental as handsome as this one though. Moving around the room, the young man took a good long look at the walls and ceiling. "Flammable," said he. There was a whole lot that could burn here. It wasn't exactly safe.

"I-I...," stammered Shoko. "Why would an elemental say that?" He gave her a frown of puzzlement. "Y-your folk love to burn things..." Nodding in acknowledgment of that, he reminded her, "but _you're_ not an elemental..." Shoko blushed. As he studied the room, she studied him. That was how she realized that he was wearing some kind of uniform. "A-are you a soldier," she asked? "Yeah," said he. "We should get you out of here. Do you have a conveyance?" "I... no... I don't have my license," she replied. It was one of the great ironies of her life that her mom considered her old enough to run the Candy Kingdom's Social-Welfare Dept, but too young to drive. She knew it was about the _appearance_ of obeying the law, but it still annoyed her. "Hmm," said he. "Taking you out of here on a fire-wolf would attract attention. I could fly you out, but someone might see..." "I can't leave," retorted the tall princess!

Randy gave her a look that suggested she was crazy. Calmly, he said, "this place isn't safe for you. Your father can't defend you openly. The minute it looks as though he's protecting you, this gangster-woman will start killing your entire family." Stubbornly, Shoko said, "if I leave, she may do that anyway. I've made my bed. I've got to make this work."

The tall princess began to pace. Skirts swishing with every step, she paced up and back under the elemental's watchful eyes. "I need to go on the offensive, Randy," said she. Randy frowned at her. "My dad's overwhelmed," said the princess. "He's so busy protecting everybody, he can't hit back. We'll never get rid of this bitch at this rate. My dad need's me to pull my weight. Like Star..." Folding his arms up in front of him, Randy said, "you don't have an army. Right now you can't even protect yourself..." In sweet tones, she said, "I have _you_." That made him flush.

Glancing away, Randy told her, "if I leave you, you'd be defenseless..." Shoko walked up to him and said, "but you can travel through fires..." Randy calmly reminded her, "this woman knows your father's allies. If I was seen even once, it would be disastrous. Besides, it would be pretty obvious if I started killing them." Shoko put on a wheedling smile, applying all her feminine wiles. She tried to run a finger up his chest and jerked it back when she very nearly burned herself. As the young princess rushed to the sink in the corner, Randy rolled his eyes. If he lived to be a hundred, he'd never understand girls.

Following the young woman over to the sink, he lay a fire-shield spell on her before taking her hand in his. "It does not appear serious," said he. "Keep applying water." Glaring at him, Shoko asked, "what are you going to do?" Stepping back, the elemental said, "this is a laboratory, is it not? There should be safety and healing equipment here." As Shoko watched, he scrounged around and located a pair of fire-resistant mittens which he turned inside out. With the mittens on, he located the labs first-aid kit, then came back and packed the injured finger in burn-salve and gauze.

Shoko was astonished. "H-how did you learn that," she asked? With a shrug, the young soldier admitted, "my cousin is King of the Fire-Kingdom, but she spent a year on her own in your land. She learned things..." She'd had to with a boyfriend like Finn the Human. More to the point, Phoebe had awakened curiosity among her people. A lot of young elementals hungered to see the outside world. It was why he volunteered to come here. Moving on, he said, "don't think of doing anything rash, princess." "Like this," asked Shoko, as she threw her arms around his neck. "Thank-you for helping me." Randy blushed but said nothing. Stepping back, Shoko said, "I need to think." She went back to her chair, sat down, and started looking at all her assets once more, this time adding Star and Randy to the list.

The young princess was at it for several hours that night before finally packing it in. Crawling into her nightgown, the Shoko got out the cot she'd brought and laid herself down. Randy, who had turned his back while she changed, watched her as she slowly drifted off. Then the handsome prince walked into the fire and lay himself down to rest. As he drifted off, he found himself finally understanding his cousin. Shoko was kind of cute for a bag full of water.

Morning found Finn staring at the ceiling feeling the sting of regret. He'd crossed another line. He'd gone full bore with Cherry, and it felt like Emeraude all over again. He liked it. There was no amount of lieing that would change that. He liked getting it on with this beautiful woman. He enjoyed the sex. He enjoyed the mystery. _But she's still going to whack you,_ he thought. Even if she wasn't, how could he live with what she had done to his family–was _still_ doing to his family?

Cherry stirred in his arms. Yawning and stretching, she sat up. Turning to face him, she said, "I have to take another trip. Will you join me?" "When," he asked? With a sigh, she replied, "end of the week." Reaching out, he cupped her chin in his hand. He could feel her tense. Somehow this did matter to her. "Ok," said he. Relieved, Cherry leaned over and kissed him. They both had work, and the sexpot got up and hit the shower. When she got out, Finn took her place. He came out to find her slipping into yet another of her endless array of sexy outfits, and he almost couldn't help watching. It was all fascinating. The little rituals around getting the stockings on straight. Hitching them up to attach the garters. Fitting her bra around her body before slipping her boobies into the cups. It was fascinating and arousing, and if he didn't get busy, they would be late for work. Shaking himself, he quickly got into his own clothes. As the two headed for the door, she casually informed him, "there're some small time hoods knocking in the doors of elderly people on the East Side..." "What," asked Finn? "They not pay their tax?"

Cherry turned to face him, and he half expected hot words. Chuckling, she straightened his tie and said, "everyone has limits, Finn. We all have those things we can't accept. For you it's kids. Probably because you were an orphan, and you _know_ what happens to kids with no family. Mine is the elderly. I buried my parents six years back. I know how the young take advantage... Do what you do, honey. Take out the trash..." "Ok," said he. Standing on her toes, Cherry kissed him. Then they separated. She got in that limo, and Finn watched her drive off.

When the Boss of Bosses was gone, the Captain of the Guard went up the street to his truck, climbed inside, and drew out his phone to check his messages. Star had done what he'd asked, helping Phoebe's cousin get into Shoko's new digs. He'd been very worried about his youngest child. Shoko had been all on her own. She was a target just as much as Bonnie was. Finn was under no illusions that his evil girlfriend meant to murder Bonnie's whole family. This was revenge, and everything was on the table when vengeance was in your heart. Finn had done his best to tip-toe around and avoid being seen near the young princess, hoping that Cherry would leave her alone for a while. Now the problem was solved. Shoko was safest of all his kids.

Finn fired up the truck, pulled into the street, and headed off to work. As he drove, his mind went in circles. Things were pulling further and further apart. Cherry was pulling him closer, which made it very hard to do anything that was against her interests. He had Star working for him now, but Star's authority was rather limited. She didn't have the power to just lay hands on anybody in the Candy Kingdom. Not even _Finn_ had that right. That was something only Bonnie had, and Bonnie was missing. They couldn't just messily kill everybody in Cherry's gang. That would attract all kinds of attention that they didn't need, and it would eventually occur to his evil girlfriend that her boy-toy was pulling the strings. On top of that, he had to be aware of what came _after_ this was all done. If he broke the Candy Kingdom's laws, he was just as bad as Cherry was.

It was as he was making the last turn to go to Banana Guard HQ that Finn saw what he had missed. Ironically, it was seeing his lieutenant, Spike, going into headquarters that made him see it. Bubba and Shoko were Bonnie's deputies. They'd been _raised_ almost since they were born to be Bonnie's understudies. If things went south and something happened to Bonnie, they were supposed to take charge of the Kingdom. It was written into law by Royal Decree and witnessed by half a dozen princesses.

Finn pulled into the garage under the HQ, parking in his spot at the far end near the entrance. Instead of going inside, he took out his secret phone and began typing a message. He wasn't going to be in town. He was going to be wherever it was that Cherry was going. It was time for Star to get her hands dirty, and it was time for Shoko to grow up a little sooner than she'd expected.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38:

"I need you to sign these," rumbled the wood-nymph.

Shoko blinked in surprise. That wasn't what she was expecting at all. She was expecting her sister to deliver some sort of horrifying warning or dire threat. She'd been afraid that Star was here to drag her to a safer location because the killers were on their way. "W-what," stammered the pretty blonde? With a grimace of irritation, Star said, "need them signed so I can do my job." Shoko put the papers down and said, "that's not good enough. You may be a year older than me, Star, but you don't get to push me around like that. What's this about?"

Star muttered something about time, but Shoko stood her ground, saying, "you better be quick, then." "These are the names of some of the mid-level players in soda-girl's gang," said the wood-nymph wizard. "Dad wants to snatch them off the street..." "Then why doesn't he just snatch them," retorted Shoko. Rolling her eyes, Star said, "because of your mother, Shoko. You know: This is a kingdom of laws and all that..." Shoko blushed to her hair. It was the reason she couldn't drive yet. In irritated tones, the wizard explained, "in order to arrest somebody, I need a writ. The courts may be under soda-bitch's influence. She is a fucking lawyer after all." And the only other people who could give Finn a writ were the members of the Royal Family.

Shoko turned and began to go through the warrants, further irritating her older sister. "It's not that fucking simple, Star," retorted the princess. "Dad's right. We need to do this the right way." Her mother had already had one nasty incident where the candy-people tried to jettison their ruler. They didn't really need another one. Shoko sifted through every line of every form, checking and rechecking. When she was satisfied that each warrant was in order–listing the charges, the evidence, and the witnesses–the young princess signed each in her ugly, cramped style. Now she knew where that came from. Her writing wasn't anything like her mother and brother's style. It was like Finn's. It was crazy, but, as she handed the warrants back to her sister, Shoko had cause to wonder how she'd never seen that before.

"We need to talk," said Shoko. "When you've executed the warrants, come back. Wake me if you have to." Star glared at her. "Those are my orders," said Shoko. "I'm in charge. Dad's... He's not capable of being in charge right now, and mom's missing. That means I'm in charge, Star." "Ok," sighed the wizard. She turned to the window and stepped over the sill, disappearing into the darkness once more. When Shoko turned around, she found Randy standing there with an approving look on his face. "What," she asked? "You handled that very well," said Randy. "She may be your sister by blood, but she is a lower rank than you. You must be assertive, princess, or you will be controlled. Power is a dangerous thing." Shoko nodded, but her mind was on her sister. She hoped Star understood as well as Randy did.

In reality, her sister's antics were the last thing on Star's mind. The young wizard didn't waste a moment getting down to work. She'd been planning this from the moment her dad had said he was going out of town. Alone as she was, she had her work cut out for her. Fortunately, she had access to resources that she hadn't had before. Top of the list was cash. There was a pile of it in the vault near their door, and she'd borrowed liberally from the supply, reasoning that they couldn't spend it if they were dead, and Bonnie could pay them back when they'd gotten her released. She'd raided the stash and come up with a couple of useful items. On top of that, she had her powers restored. She was a wizard, and that gave her admittance to Wiz City where a little more cash got her the names of people who would do auguries and clairvoyance–no questions asked–for a fee. And that effort gave her insight into the habits of two of the fish on tonight's list.

Brisky was first on the list. He kept an apartment at the center of town in the high-rent district, but he made his money in Candy-Town, running the street-walkers and zombies who sold psychedelic chocolate to the fiends on the north end there. He was a mid-level thug who still had to get his hands dirty doing things that weren't too nice. He knew people who knew people, but he was far enough down that soda-bitch wouldn't notice his disappearance right away. Star hoped to get a lot of information out of him.

The guard at the front desk was oblivious to the heavy truck that pulled up behind the building. Trucks came and went in the downtown area. Somebody was always getting _something_ delivered. Of course few people had things delivered near ten at night. Absorbed in playing endless games of solitaire, the bored rent-a-banana was hardly concerned with what was going on outside. This place had some of the best security in the Kingdom! The door-chime announced a late-evening visitor, and the bored banana buzzed the late-night caller in without even really looking at the screen.

Footsteps announced the visitor before the guard even realized she was there. He saw a flash of green skin out of the corner of his eyes and glanced up to see a woman wearing a black cape there. Her complexion said she was a wood-nymph, and his mind automatically assumed 'ho'. The town was crawling with them, and besides, the rich dudes in this building often paid for it. Why should he care? Continuing his game, he waved the woman on without even asking who she was or why she was here. Shaking her head, Star caught the first elevator that was headed up.

Brisky was expecting a girl tonight. Star knew it because she'd tapped his phone. She'd tapped his phone because one of her hired clairvoyants had told her that he might be lonely tonight. He hadn't disappointed, offering cash for the best girl in town to soda-bitch's business agent. Junior. Star had felt a towering sense of disgust when she heard that too-familiar voice on the phone. Junior. She'd lied and sacrificed herself to protect that bitch, and there Junior was, participating in pimping out women that looked very much like Star herself. Star wished she could be there to slap the cuffs on the bitch at some point. But besides being a dreadful reminder of her naivete, that was business for another day. In the now, a set of slashed tires gave Star the jump on Brisky's _visitor_ , letting Star get here first.

Brisky himself was just getting out of the shower after a long, _hard_ day smashing the faces of fiends who owed him money. He'd had to get a little bloody today. There were a couple of fellows who thought they could negotiate a payment plan. At least there had been. His fists were a little sore, but he thought the message was clear. Now he wanted to relax, and there was nothing more relaxing than a little nymph-cookie.

When the bell rang, he called out, "c'mon in! It's open!" That was a little crazy for a gangster, but then he lived in a guarded building. The guards knew who to let in and who to keep out. As he retrieved liquor from the cabinet, he impulsively decided to grab a small box of the evil product he sold too. Girls got pretty loose after having a few pieces of psychedelic chocolate. When he straightened, he found himself staring at a pretty little wood-nymph hottie who'd come wearing a heavy black cloak.

"Hey, honey," said he. "Whyn't ye get comfortable?!" Without a word, Star strode forward, her eyes measuring him up the way she'd been taught. He was a candy-person–a little more humanoid than most, looking like her dad only made of chocolate blocks. His blocky body showed that he wasn't a small man and nobody to be trifled with. Fresh gouges on his hands showed he didn't mind getting physical, and Star imagined he preferred hand-to-hand. "You gonna' take that stuff off," he asked? The wood nymph had stopped well out of his reach.

Brushing back the right side of her cloak, the wizard displayed the badge her father had given her, done in a mat-black laquer that looked as sinister as her clothes. In a cool, calm, voice, she announced, "you're under arrest for murder, attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder, sale of controlled substances, conspiracy to sell controlled substances, assault, battery, resisting arrest, felony fleeing and evading..." Catching her breath, the wizard muttered, "fuck it. You're under arrest. We can talk about the particulars later."

The thug charged her and ran head-first into one of her surprises. She'd bought the grid-person shield in Wiz City the moment she saw it for sale. "Good thing you didn't break your neck," muttered the wizard as the candy-person rolled around on the floor groaning in pain. Gesturing, she caused the forcefield to appear under his body, lifting him from the floor. Without a further word, she turned and headed out, bound for the freight elevator that let out in the back of the building with the injured gangster bobbing in her wake.

Her next stop was Handy's. The Candy Kingdom's Restaurateur to the Mob was a small time player who knew a lot of big-time secrets. He ran and had been running the secret meetings where the gangsters talked turkey since before Finn had been born. He ably kept the gangsters' various secrets, but he was a bit of a drama-queen, known to take sudden trips out of town when he felt slighted or insulted. He was about to take the trip of a lifetime.

The mob associate did business out of a beautiful French restaurant that stood near the edge of Princess Park among palatial homes for the Candy Kingdoms' elite. Finn had dropped in on the restaurant a couple of times, and Billy had worked undercover in the back room washing dishes. They kept tabs on the place, but there were enough normal people who ate there that neither had been comfortable putting pressure on Handy. Now, as she took the back streets and byways with her unpleasant cargo in the back of the heavy cargo truck she'd borrowed from her former employers at the hardware store, Star went over the details in her mind. She needed to get upstairs to Handy's office. She needed to get him alone, and she needed to get him downstairs into the truck. All while over a hundred witnesses filled the restaurant. Fortunately there was one task Handy never left to anyone else.

The young wizard rolled up behind Handy's on 9th and put the heavy truck in park. Slipping out, she picked up Brisky's phone and sent a quick text message. The two men weren't exactly friends, but Handy handled distribution of Brisky's Pixie-Sticks–the evil concoction of Fairy Tears and Fruit-Witch venom that was the new addiction for hundreds of high-rollers. It was time for a delivery. Message sent, the wood-nymph hung out to wait.

She waited there in the darkness, thinking of what her brother was doing. Last she'd seen him, Billy was deep into his happy home-life with Junior, toying around with baby-names and buying all kinds of stuff for the kids. They had individual cribs for the three. They had baby-toys. They had a three-place stroller and car-seats. It was killing Star to think of what he would feel when they told him. The longer this dragged on, the deeper he got. And what were they going to do about the kids? Kids needed a mom! Junior was a career criminal!

Movement announced Handy's appearance at the rear door of the club. He always came out alone to do the deal. Nobody was supposed to know who brought the goods, when they came, or where they came from. Star knew Handy suspected. Calmly, she waited there in the dark, her face hidden in shadows as the mob-associate came up the alley towards her. As he approached, she flicked the lights on, blinding him. That was often the way the mob did business, and the older man, though he might get irritated, expected that. You could expect your fellow gangsters to want to keep you on the defensive. Moments later, she could see him coming around the front of the truck, doing his best to shield his eyes from the glare. That was when she bashed the door into his head, flattening him there in the alley in his thousand-coin suit.

A couple of quick spells and an enchanted rope got him hogtied in the back of the truck. Star didn't wait long before rolling back down the alley from whence she'd come. Backing out onto the street, she barely took the time to check that it was safe before pulling out into traffic. She had a prison to get to. Then she had to get back across town to her sister's digs. As she rode through the darkened streets, her phone–her official one–rang. The pretty nymph slipped it out of her tunic and took a look. It was Billy. _Speak of the devil,_ she thought. Fumbling it on, she called out, "go?"

"Hey, sis," said Billy. "Bill," replied Star. "Hey," he said. "I'm... I was looking for dad, but they tell me he's gone out of town..." "Yeah," said Star. "Moms told me the same thing." There was a pause on the other end of the line, and Star knew what he was going to say before he asked it. They had been ducking hard questions from him since the day Fionna disappeared. Voice showing his distress, the older boy asked, "do you know what's going on?" Now Star found herself in a bind. She'd never lied to Billy before. She'd kept things from him. She'd ducked questions herself. She'd never lied flat-out lied.

"Dad and moms know something," sighed Star. "I think it's bad, but I couldn't tell you what it is." "Is Fionna ok," asked Billy? "She's with Bon and Patrick," Star replied. "That's all I know for sure." Bill asked, "she... She's not in trouble is she...?" "You're asking the wrong person," muttered Star. "It's all a big secret with moms and dad. She could be knocked-up for all I know..." She could almost _see_ him blushing on the other end of the line. "Ok, sis," Billy sighed. "If you hear anything... will you let me know?" "Yeah, Bill," murmured Star. "As soon as I hear from Fi, I'll call." "Thanks, sis," murmured Billy. "You be careful too..." Star promised she would and hung up.

It was an award-worthy performance. She hadn't told him a single lie. She just hadn't told him a lot of the truth either. She didn't really know where Fionna and the others were. Their parents knew, but she didn't. They were keeping the whole thing under wraps, and though she probably could have gotten it out of her father, she knew that Fionna's safety might depend on them keeping the secret. The young wizard felt the first tears fall as she took the corner on Sucrose Street. By the time she got on the main road out of town, the tears were coming down like rain. She felt terrible. It felt like she had set up her family to be destroyed! And what was she going to do now? _Fuck it,_ she thought. _Drive on._ That was really all she _could_ do–fix what she could.

The Candy-Kingdom jail had been abandoned for five years. When Candy-Town's population began to explode–and the number of gangster and assorted dirt-bags began to rise–her father had pressured Bonnie to do something about it. He'd been insistent on opening a newer prison. That had given them Jellyet, and then when Jellyet's hastily-built structures began to crumble, they'd built Cakeville. The original jail now sat abandoned, making it the perfect place for what Star had to do. Rolling through the entrance and out onto the courtyard, she took a good, long look around. There was nobody in sight, so she backed up to the loading dock. Then it was time to hustle her two new guests inside.

The young wizard went one at a time, hauling each loser down to a separate cell in the basement of the sprawling jail. In the old days, the worst of the worst were down there–including the awful aliens that tried to destroy Ooo. Those guys were now doing hard time in a deep pit near the north pole. Machines that Bonnie and Nadia built saw to feeding them and carrying off their waste, but no-one went there to care for them. Now their former cells made great homes for her prisoners.

Brisky woke up as she was locking him in. "You made a mistake, bitch," howled the angry gangster. "Do you know who I am?" "You're Paul "Brisky" Wallace," she replied. "You ran with Abe "Kid Twist" Rellis. You parted ways when he began whacking guys for money, and you went into the chocolate biz. Currently you're a top earner for "Mad Mallow" Pierce's gang. That cover it?" She turned to leave, and he demanded, "you can't touch me. I work for the Boss of Bosses! The Boss'll fuckin' burn down your house with all your peeps inside!" Turning to face him, her blue-green eyes burning into his, Star growled, "she already did..." As he registered the fact that this woman knew the Boss of Bosses was a woman, Star jabbed her fist at him. A fist-shaped bolt of force hit him in the gut, picking him up off the floor and knocking the wind out of him. Star left him gasping on the floor.

It was past midnight when the wood-nymph drove up to the Royal Observatory. The lights were out inside as Star pulled up to the door. Parking the truck, the little woman slipped around to the back, then scaled the outside wall to reach the laboratory window. Moments later, she was calling out to the woman inside.

A yawning Shoko came to the window in her nightgown and opened it to find her sister's scowling face outside. Star dropped to the floor inside with a light thump and strode to the center of the room. Randy was awake now as well, and he took up position near the door. "So what do you want," asked Star? It was the ragged edge of polite. Frowning, Shoko retorted, "gee, Star. I know the whole 'sisters' thing was a shock, but I thought we were friends before this..." "What does that mean," demanded the prickly wood-nymph? "You're acting like a big jerk-face," Shoko snapped.

Glaring at her, Star growled, "you think this is a game?!" Waving her arms, the wizard shouted, "everybody I know is in danger! My sister's in hiding. My mothers are on the run from that bitch. My brother just married that bitch's errand-girl, and I can't even tell him!" There were tears in Star's eyes, as she said, "this is not some fucking _game_ , Shoko. Every time I come here, it risks your life. Every minute I stay increases the danger. You're a target! You've made yourself a target!"

Shoko was a little bit taken aback. She'd never in her life seen Star this upset. That said something about just how bad things were. Still she squared up to meet the situation head on. "Star, you and dad are fooling yourselves if you really think she doesn't already have a plan to smash me. She just hasn't revealed it," Shoko said. "At most, we just bumped up the time-table. Let's explore how we use this, shall we?" Sniffing back tears, the wizard nodded. Motioning her sister towards the table, the princess sat down.

When Star had sat herself, Shoko opened with, "it's not enough to start busting these people. We need a plan..." Star retorted, "dad has a plan..." "Let's hear it," replied Shoko. The wizard blinked, suggesting that she'd been bluffing. After a moment of collecting her thoughts, the young wood-nymph began to lay out what she knew in a halting voice to Shoko's skeptical ears. Star did her best, but it was clear she didn't really understand Finn's plan. Shaking her head, Shoko opined, "that's an arrest list, not a plan, Star. It's obvious dad has an idea how he wants this to go, but I don't think we can wait for soda-bitch to head out of town so he can plan with us. We're going to have to do this ourselves..."

Star frowned at her, but Shoko didn't bat an eye. "Dad warned me off calling him because his phone's tapped," she said. "How are _you_ talking to him?" "I got us both phones off the books," said Star. Nodding, Shoko said, "get me one." Rising, she said, "you should go. Get me that phone. We'll talk through what we're going to do." "Right," muttered Star. Before she could go, Shoko grabbed her and hugged her, whispering, "we're gonna be ok, Star. You've got my back, and I've got yours." When she let go, Star all but threw herself out the window showing just how distressed she was. Randy was all smiles when Shoko looked his way. "You handled that well, Princess," he said. Shoko nodded, but her mind was on her two best friends–now her sisters–and what they were going through.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39:

"Ain't tellin' you nothin', girlie," muttered the fat Candy Person. He was angry and violent, and Star would have gleefully cut his sack off and left him to bleed out. She needed the passphrases in his head, though. Those were the keys that would let her into Bootlegger Hall, the outlaw bank that lay hidden in plain sight in Cocoa City. Star chuckled. Tapping the stick that lay next to him, she said, "the wizard police have standing orders to turn any norms they find into sticks. You stay a stick as long as your crimes deserve. How long do you think your sentence will be for smacking a guard and taking his stick?" The fat man shuddered. "It's a long, unpleasant life," murmured Star. Cruelly she lay out exactly what that did to a person in all the lurid details.

In the end, the fat man was as much coward as he was a violent bully. He began to spill his guts as the thought of being transformed into a walking stick and being abused took hold of his fevered imagination. Star carefully recorded all that he said, including the precious passcodes. When she had them, she rose and turned to go. "Y-you can't leave me," howled the candy-person! Tied up as he was in an alley near the Grand Master's palace, he didn't stand a chance. Star coldly replied, "you're a danger to my plans, and you're wanted for rape. Some time as a stick will do you some good."

She walked on into the darkness, leaving him to his fate. She heard him calling after her, but she shut it out. She was becoming harder, and she knew it. She knew it, and she didn't like it. Honestly, the changes she was undergoing scared her. It made her wonder about her dad, who'd always seemed like a happy-go-lucky dufus. How did he manage to do it, when he'd been doing this for more than twenty years?!

The young wood-nymph went up the road several blocks to an eatery she knew there. Nobody batted an eye that she was dressed all in black and wearing a mask. This was Wiz-City, where the only thing weirder than the inhabitants was the architecture. It was a sign that her mother was right. She didn't fit in here. The privilege of coming here was nice, but she didn't want to live here.

For one thing, the denizens here were even more hard-up for pussy than Bonnie's peeps. She had been propositioned so many times that it had become routine, and she could easily see how her mom, who'd been raised by an unapologetic harlot, got pretty sick of it pretty damned quick. The second thing that bugged her was the ever-present wiz-cops looking to smash anybody who got out of pocket simply for the kicks. They were nothing like the guys who worked for her dad, and she didn't like the change. It didn't really do anything to tame the chaos, but instead contributed to the madness in its own subtle way.

Collecting a dinner of fried steak smothered in a creamy potato sauce, the young wizard went and put her back to a corner and sat down to eat. Taking out her phone, she typed out a couple of messages to Shoko as she slowly worked her way through the steak. That was getting better. After a couple of weeks of this, they were becoming a team. They were making headway towards finding out where Bonnie was being kept. Star had been working her way up the chain, investigating the various front-companies and crooked businessmen that Cherry owned, and she had the location narrowed down to a handful of places in Candy Town and Cocoa City. She was hoping to narrow it down even further before the evil bitch got back to town.

Shoko wanted to press the issue. She wasn't methodical like their father. Maybe it was the age gap. Star had heard that her dad had been kind of a thoughtless jerk back in the day–that maybe he did stupid shit just for the grins. She saw some signs of that, but she thought that a lot of it was that Finn had been a kid. He'd been freakin' _ten_ when he started adventuring! She didn't see much sign of that anymore. Her dad could be counted on to be waiting right there at the end of the road when his kids got somewhere they shouldn't have gone. He'd be there waiting to dust them off and turn them around, and he usually had some lesson for them. Like their father when he was a kid, Shoko, in spite of being a brainiac, couldn't be bothered to slow down sometimes. She was in a hurry to get through this, and it was risking their lives.

Shoko's planning was _effective_. Star had a growing catalog of small-time-dudes who knew big-time-stuff hidden down deep in the old jail. She'd milked them for lots of useful dope on what Cherry was doing. Currently that was buying food, strangely enough. Neither of them knew what to do with that. The Boss of Bosses was buying food and supplying it to every store and restaurant across the Candy Kingdom, and, if what Star suspected was true, she was doing it for _free_. The gangster-girl was stockpiling hard cash from selling every kind of drug there was–from psychedelic chocolate to powdered Fruit-Witch venom prepared with Fairy Tears–to the Candy Kingdom's neighbors. Stuff was showing up in Wildberry Kingdom. It was showing up in Warrior Kingdom. It was flippin' _everywhere_! What neither sister understood was why. Star was on the lookout for someone who could explain it, but so far nobody was much interested in anything beyond getting their cut of the pie. They handed Cherry Cream Soda her cash, pocketed their cut, and kept on keepin' on.

So far nobody had been able to tell them where Bonnie was, but they were closing in. Shoko hoped that a raid against the mob bank in Cocoa City would finally draw out somebody who would know the right things to put them on the Princess's trail. Star feared that maybe things would get too far too fast. This was dangerous. Star was supposed to be a deputy Banana-Guard. It was kind of in a gray area to be stealing money, even if it was from gangsters. She was planning to put it in some kind of evidence lockup when she made off with it–assuming she didn't get killed, which was a big if right now.

Billy had said her mother had scars. She and their father had scars on top of scars. Now Star knew why. If this was how they had lived their lives before finding each other, it went a long way towards explaining how they had come to be the way they were, and now Star respected Emeraude all the more. Lately, she had been thinking that she wouldn't continue this. When the crisis was over–when they had vanquished the threat–she would get back to her education. Then she would hang out her shingle somewhere and lead a nice, quiet life, exorcizing demons and casting auguries.

Shoko's message came back a little slower today. She was getting cozy with her bodyguard, and Star had come to suspect that maybe Randy was putting the moves on Shoko Bubblegum. They never did anything obvious when Star was present–certainly they didn't sit there playing kissy-face–but Randy had a way of looking at her. He would look at her like she was the most precious thing he had in the world. It inspired more than a little jealousy for Star. First Fionna and now Shoko. Was she ever going to meet somebody? At least somebody who didn't want to do the rail-and-run. "C'mon, Shoko," thought Star. Finally a message popped up. She was in business.

As a half-dozen wiz-police rushed by, chasing a terrified candy-person, the young wizard began exchanging texts with her sister. Meanwhile, hundreds of miles away, their father sat watching the strangest show he'd ever seen in his life. The women came dressed in the scantiest of costumes, showing acres of skin. They wore masses of bright feathers and glittering stones. As the audience watched, they danced and strutted across the stage, looking like fabulous figures of the imagination. Finn sat there in suit and black tie, wearing a stifling and uncomfortable mask staring at the strange extravaganza. It was crazy stuff for a guy who'd been naked with exactly four girls in his life.

The fourth of those girls clung to him as the show reached its conclusion. She'd suggested, on a couple of occasions, that he try putting his arms around her. Finn reminded his evil girlfriend (tm) that he needed his arms free to deal with the screaming hordes of thugs and killers who had been coming out of the woodwork since they arrived. There were a whole lot of dudes who wanted to capitalize on the fact that the top guy in Warrior Kingdom was gone. Cherry had whacked him–indirectly–but that had painted a target on her back. Finn had been forced to kill three so far–including the creepy dude they found in the bathroom while she was showering.

Of course she was more clingy now than ever. Finn had come to a compromise. She could cling, but he wouldn't be playing grabass and kissy face. Which led to his _other_ problem. He knew she was evil. She'd become corrupted by her quest for vengeance. At the same time, she was a friend. He'd known Cherry for _years_. He cared. He couldn't help it. And though he had to take her down, he wanted to take her alive–to put her in jail instead of seeing her die. Long and short? He was getting close to her, and it was clouding his judgement. He knew it was.

When the last dancer left the stage, Cherry slowly straightened. As Finn watched, she vented a heavy-hearted sigh. He wanted to ask her what was bothering her, but he honestly feared the answer. "I guess we have to go," she sighed. Finn nodded. They were supposed to meet the Warrior-Kingdom's gangsters one last time. Finn was no more excited about that than she was. This was a volatile situation with angry, dangerous men, and she was right in the middle of it. He was doing what he could to protect her, and not just because of his fears of what her dudes would do to his friends and family if he failed. She was RBG's girl, and he owed it to Rootbeer to look after her. "Let's get this done," said Finn.

The two rose together and left the private box that Erickson had built for himself. Out in the hall, they quickly reached the private stair that led down to the basement. After checking that the stairs were clear, Finn preceded Cherry down to the basement. He had arranged for everyone to be searched when they came in. Nobody but him would have weapons. That would go a long way towards ensuring Cherry's safety. They just had to get through this and go home. Tomorrow evening, he would be home with his family.

Arriving in the office–the place where John Erickson met his end–Finn did a cursory sweep before allowing the Boss of Bosses to enter. She took the seat at the head of the conference table while Finn went to let her counterparts in. They were all big dudes. None came below six-feet, suggesting the people of Warrior Kingdom liked their leaders to be intimidating. Finn confirmed that all came unarmed before letting them in. One by one, they filled in the spaces around the table. When he had the door locked, Finn went and stood by Cherry's side. As intimidating as they were, all looked a little nervous–as if they were intimidated by him. None of them could forget who's club this had been. Fresh paint on the walls told of the dudes who'd died down here.

"Evening, gentlemen," announced Cherry. "I hope you all had sufficient time to review my offer." The morose gangsters said nothing. They weren't happy with this. Cherry was an outsider. At the same time, James Plumly's former crew had ripped a swath through these guys. They had enabled Cherry to silently take over. She had her hands in their organizations, and Finn knew she wouldn't hesitate to kill them all. She'd done the same thing in Wildberry Kingdom, playing Plumly's dudes against his rivals–making them think the plum's death was a setup. After they made war on each other, she moved in. Finn had sort of enabled that–a fact that made him queasy. She had her hooks in two more kingdoms, and he'd sort of made it all possible.

Leif Mortenson scowled at her. He was the man who was the least happy with all of this. He had been Erickson's top rival, and he had expected to make his own move for the top job. He certainly hadn't expected to be outmaneuvered by a piece of living candy. "Is there a problem, Leif," asked Cherry? Her voice sounded so soft and sweet, she might have been asking if he wanted the bed turned down. Finn couldn't help a blush as he thought about her asking just that. "This is _our_ kingdom," muttered Leif. " _Was_ , Leif," retorted Cherry. " _Was_. As in this _was_ Erickson's place until he tried to screw me. Do try and keep up."

Vigo Stein rumbled, "you're only offering us ten percent..." "Because I had to offer the police _fifteen_ ," retorted Cherry. It was an unsubtle reminder that she had snatched the power out from under them. While they had been pondering how to outmaneuver their neighbors, she'd moved in and bought the corrupt police of the Warrior Kingdom. She had a lot of ways to make them hurt right now. Calmly, Cherry said, "be grateful that I'm offering you anything at all, gentlemen. I'm being rather generous by letting you keep your own rackets. I could easily have warrants drawn up against you and have them enforced." And every man there knew they wouldn't last a day in a jail that _she_ controlled.

There was no more dissent, and Cherry had her secretary pass around the agreements for them to sign. As a lawyer, she liked it in triplicate. Finn wouldn't ever have expected to see a gangster writing anything like _this_ down, but she was. Of course those secret agreements would be spirited away to some hidden vault somewhere to be evidence against these men should they cross her. He wanted them. They would have enabled him to arrest every thug in the Candy Kingdom and a few that weren't, but that would have earned her suspicion.

When all had signed, the topic of conversation moved on to other matters. Cherry wanted to look at the matter of a series of jewelry heists in Engagement Ring Kingdom. The dudes in question had made off with tens of thousands of coins in diamonds and other jewels. She'd managed to get her hands on the biggest of the specimens, but she was intensely curious about the rest–and the method the thieves had used to breach the Engagement Ring Kingdom's tight security.

Tomas Lindt–one of Stein's men–interrupted the question and answer session with a request to use her bathroom. "It would be easier than going out and having to be searched again," said he. "Ok," said Cherry. Motioning towards the door, she added, "help yourself." As the younger man went into the bathroom, she returned her attention to the business at hand. She wanted to tap that money for her business. "Does your ambition know no bounds," laughed Eric Heineman? Cherry chuckled, "I have my reasons, Mr. Heineman."

Finn wished he could zone out. He wished he could unhear all of this. Instead, he did his best to commit this all to memory. He wanted to make use of the names and faces he had here to crack the gangs across the entirety of Ooo if he could. It had become something of a fantasy for him. He was here in the center of it all! He finally had access to someone(s) who knew pretty much everything. Why not make use of that? As those thoughts crossed his mind, a click from behind him announced that something had gone drastically wrong.

Finn slowly turned around to find Tomas Lindt standing there holding the one thing that shouldn't have been possible for him to have. Finn had searched him pretty thoroughly–touching dude in places no other dude wanted to touch. So where did he get the gun? "You're going to do it our way, bitch," muttered Lindt. "You're going to do it or die. Cherry never moved a muscle. Instead, she continued to behave as if she had all of this under control. "I can help them with moving the merchandise," said the gangster-girl. "I can even help them hide where the diamonds came from. I have people who are pretty good at forging documents."

Lindt just _stared_ at her. "I said to listen, bitch," growled the young man! "I'm listening," Cherry replied, but she kept right on doing what she was doing. Finn, who hadn't moved either, was doing the calculation in his head. The other dude was standing at the bathroom door. _That's probably where he got it,_ thought the hero. There was a window in there. Finn had given it little thought until now. He wouldn't make this mistake again.

"You think I'm playing," shouted Lindt! He wasn't, and Finn knew it. That was why, when he pressed the dart-gun's trigger, a glowing disk sprang to life directly in front of it. The dart shattered on impact, sending shards back into Lindt's face and chest. As the gangster screamed, Finn calmly lopped off his arm at the wrist. Sliding his sword back in the scabbard, Finn strode clamped a big fist around the bleeding stump, putting pressure on the vein. Then he callously dragged the younger man to the door and threw him out in the hall.

The room was silent. Only Cherry was still talking–nattering on as if her boyfriend hadn't just chopped the arm off a man and thrown him out into the hall. Returning to her side, Finn said, "I think they should go." "Fine," said Cherry. "You may all be dismissed. Mr. Stein? It would behoove you to prepare yourself for war. Good day." Finn chased them all out of there, making sure they were all brought topside and put out in the alley. When he returned, he found Cherry going through the signed agreements. "Thanks, honey," she said, as he shut the door. Finn came across the room, removing the mask as he did so. Cherry continued to scan the papers. She was seriously OCD about that.

"Why didn't you move," growled Finn? His face was contorted in anger, and she wondered if this was what the snow-queen and the wood-nymph got. There was such an _intensity_ to him. Her late husband had wanted to _be_ him, but Rootbeer had never equaled the intensity Finn the Human had. Smiling, Cherry reached up and stroked his face, saying, "I wasn't afraid, Finn. I knew you were here." Angry, Finn snatched her out of her chair and shook her, saying, "never do that again!" The gangster leaned in against him, laying her head against his chest and murmured, "yes, honey. Never again." Slipping his arm around her, Finn held her close and stroked her long, pale hair.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40:

The experiment had gone just fine up until the point where the newly resurrected rat suddenly turned rancid and rotten and tried to bite the scientist on the nose. It was almost comical watching the phony Bonnibel Bubblegum racing around the room, hurling things at the undead creature. Almost negligently, the guard fired a specially-created dart at the undead animal, dissolving the thing down to nothing in one hit.

Turning away from the monitor, Cherry demanded, "explain." "It's not as simple as you think," muttered the candy monarch. "I didn't exactly write the formulation down because it was too dangerous to risk it falling into the wrong hands. It's been nearly thirty years since I created a batch of the decorpsinator serum." Basically, she was starting almost from scratch. The two locked eyes, staring at each other for a long two minutes. The crime boss searched her enemy's eyes for some sign of just where things stood. Was she still rebelling? Calmly, Cherry asked, "is there a danger with the robot?" In her typical stentorian tone, Bonnie Bubblegum replied, "P-Bot's candy-flesh is artificial. It has the right feel, but the ingredients are different. She can't be infected, and her electronic brain wouldn't allow her to become a zombie in any event..."

Puzzled, the crime-boss asked, "then why does she flip her gourd every time one of those things gets loose." Bonnie blushed to her hair. Glancing away, the princess said, "much of her personality routines are based on my memories." That made Cherry laugh. The big, _brave_ princess was scared of a diseased rat. Patting the princess on the cheek, the evil candy-person said, "just you keep working at it, princess." Still chuckling, the crime boss headed out. That was the first of her stops done. She hadn't wanted to be gone so long. In spite of the consolidation of her power in the Candy Kingdom, there were still a few rogue elements in her way, and she wasn't thrilled to be out of touch. At the same time, adding to her power base was useful for cleaning up Bonnibel Bubblegum's mess.

As she settled herself in the car, her phone rang. Whipping it out, she answered, "go..." She was hoping for Finn. Absence definitely made _her_ heart grow fonder. What she got instead was far from pleasant. "What do you mean Handy's missing," demanded the gangster-girl? Handy knew far too much to just 'go missing'. Worse news was coming, though. There were a number of people missing. They'd all more or less _disappeared_ during the days when she'd been gone. Cherry immediately turned to the trace-report on Finn's phone. She _knew_ he was with her the whole time. He'd been either at her side or in her bed the whole of the last week, but she checked all the same. Just as she'd expected, this had nothing to do with him. Something–or someone–else was at work. "Keep me posted," muttered Cherry. "Find those men. I want to know what happened to them." She hung up. Turning to the driver, she said, "office." She needed to get ahead of this and figure out who was attacking her.

On the way in, she made some phone calls, hunting around for information on where the missing men had been when they disappeared, what they may have been doing, and who they may have been with. As she worked her way down the list of the missing, it became increasingly apparent that whoever she was dealing with knew some things about her organization. The people who had been taken were all mid-level thugs. They didn't have any real power in her organization, and they principally collected street-tax from those lower down the food chain, took their cut (small) and passed the rest up to their bosses and ultimately to _her_.

Ordinarily they would have been expendable knife-fodder, but Cherry had been grooming these for higher ranks. She didn't trust her captains. Though they had hitched their star to hers, they were men who thought she owed them for coming in on her side. She hadn't appointed them so much as allowed them to fall into their bosses' shoes when she whacked the more senior gangsters. Often she'd used the new captains' help in disposing of the old, giving them some degree of leverage on _her_. Cherry was one step ahead, though. At least she had been. She'd wanted to have her own power-base, and she'd been slowly working her way up to dispensing with those men. Now many of her choices for replacements were gone too.

 _Penny,_ she thought? The madwoman had reasons for wanting to smash her organization, but Penny was mad as a hatter. She was cunning, but she didn't have the ability to plan something like this out. It certainly wasn't any of the fools she'd been dealing with in the Wildberry Kingdom or Warrior Kingdom. So who? _You need more information,_ she thought. It could well be one of the men she'd meant to replace. It fit the pattern. That was life in the Candy Kingdom's underworld. Her race was so chaotic that they had great difficulty finding common ground and working together. It was something she wanted to work on in the _new and improved_ Candy Kingdom, but right now she had to manage the chaos she had. _So let's find out,_ she thought.

Miles away, Finn the Human sat with his middle daughter, having lunch. After a brief bout of terror when the goon-squad hit the hotel where his kids were staying, Finn had gotten much-needed good news. Fionna and the others were alright. They were holed up in one of Marcy's old lairs, and they were in good spirits–though they were all getting a little sick of mushroom stew. He was thinking of calling Marcy and asking her to go look in on them, but with Marshall in Engagement Ring Kingdom and still not answering his mother's calls, that looked like it would just start a fight. It was business for another moment–maybe when he had some time where Cherry wasn't crowding his space. In the now, he had his one and only henchman sitting there before him, and he had every reason to be here with her.

"This is good, Star," Finn murmured. Far from being angry about Shoko butting in, he was pleased. In his mind, Shoko was right. He was compromised, and he knew it. He couldn't keep Cherry occupied and give them direction at the same time–not without drawing her attention to them. The suspicious gangster-girl would eventually notice that he had _two_ phones or that he seemed to be communicating with someone an awful lot. "I'm worried," murmured Star. "The more of these guys we grab, the more suspicious it looks. Right now I'm worried about what will happen if we hit this bank." She was getting smarter, was his kid. Finn loved that about Star. She had vision. She could see farther ahead than he could if she just opened up her mind.

"You're looking at it wrong, Star," said Finn. "Nothing's black and white for a gangster like her. It's not them against us. It's them against all the other thems and us." Star's mouth came open. Nodding, Finn said, "here's what I want you to do, sweetie. I want you to drop some evidence from the scene where you snatched Brisky at Oswalt's place. Drop it in his desk-drawer. Buy another phone and text Cherry, letting her know where to find the evidence. Dump the phone in Tommy G's place."

"Y-you're going to start a war," rumbled Star. Finn nodded. If Cherry's guys were taking each other out, that gave him a chance of getting to the root of things and maybe finding Bonnie without losing his family. More to the point, if they were taking each other out, maybe there wouldn't be anymore goon-squads chasing Fionna. "Ok, dad," said Star. "I'll do it tonight." With a grimace of distaste, she asked, "does that mean?" Blushing, Finn nodded. He'd have to spend time in Cherry's company tonight instead of being with his girls. "Ok, dad," sighed Star, "but you be careful too. If she suspects you..." Finn knew. He was a dead man. Having played with her emotions, he could expect no mercy from Cherry.

The pair finished their lunch, and Finn drove his daughter backed to the hardware store where she still nominally worked. She'd cut her hours there, citing un-named _family troubles_ to her boss, but she still put in time there, trying to show that she was no threat. She most often walked the long, lonely miles back home in the evening when she was done. The people who frequented the stores–the contractors and the long-time customers–noticed the change and not just in the hours she worked. _She_ wasn't the same. She still wore the short-shorts and tight tops that earned the big tips, and she was still friendly to everyone who came in. At the same time, she was often distracted, and she'd ended up giving out more than one freebie because she'd screwed up a customer's order. She stayed on, though, hiding what she feared everybody could see.

As her dad scooted up the road to make the turn for town, Star wandered inside, conscious of the many eyes following her. She'd come to terms with that. It was what it was. Guys looked at girls. When guys weren't looking, girls tended to look back. She'd come to terms with guys looking at her. They thought she was pretty, and honestly she'd have to be crazy not to _like_ that. At the same time, she had come to realize just what it was that her mother had been trying to teach her all these years. Was she a pretty face? Yes. Was that _all_ she was? No. She was more than a nice pair of boobies and a cute butt, and if she let that define her, then she would be limiting her options. She couldn't say her grandmother was _evil_ for what she did, but she'd come to terms with it and decided that wasn't really the road she wanted to take.

When this was all done, she would dump the short-shorts and tight tops. Those would only get to come out for her boyfriend–when she managed to land one. She wouldn't be showing off her body for the cash. She'd be working hard and pulling her weight to earn it–doing something _useful_. In the now, she pulled on an apron, slipped behind the counter, and got ready to welcome the afternoon's customers.

Just like always, Star left the hardware store late at night, heading down the road under the eyes of a few possible watchers. She knew they watched her moms. Men had followed both Simone and Emeraude, taking it all the way to the gates of Wiz-City a couple of times. They were the threats, after all. Everybody looked at Finn's wives as dangerous. Simone was the legendary Ice Queen–the daughter of the man who could freeze Ooo solid. It couldn't have escaped soda-bitch that the Ice-Queen had her powers back. She was going in and out of Wiz-City after all. And of course, everyone in the underworld knew who Huntress was. It could be worth your life to cross her. Unless you were planning on doing it from the shadows or with a whole pile of guys. Star knew her moms were under surveillance, and she assumed she was too.

Paranoid to the last, the young wizard went all the way home and all the way up the darkened driveway to her house. In spite of the danger, she made sure the lights would be out when she got home. The darkness was a comfort for what she was doing. Walking up into the house, she made a show out of turning on a few lights in the entry and then in the kitchen upstairs. She made sure she got seen in the window before turning those same lights out, depositing her phone on the charger, and slipping downstairs to her mother's work-room. Slipping out the window in the dark, dressed in her characteristic black uniform, the young wood-nymph was a shadow within the shadows as she slipped away from the back side of the tree-house, bound for the abandoned house up the road where her truck was stashed.

As she took the turns, driving into town through the gate on the far side, the wizard thought of her dad. Part of her thought this wasn't much of a _sacrifice_ for a dude. He was getting to lay the old candy-cane in some other gal besides the ones he was married to. Was that really so bad? She hadn't mistaken the look in his eyes though. It was bothering him. It was really bothering him to be doing that. Her crazy, complicated father was having trouble managing to screw the girl he'd all but been given permission to fuck. It was crazy, but she loved her dad for that. He was the sort of good-dude she wanted to find some day.

Picking up a few things from Brisky's place wasn't hard. She had his keys, and she could get into the garage under his building, park her truck in _his_ spot, and just go up in the elevator. Getting into Oswalt's was a little harder. He lived in a small house on an ordinary street, but the block was crawling with lookouts and guards. The young wizard parked her truck, slipped out, and began looking for a way _up_. The rooftops were her best bet. Most everybody would be looking _down_. They'd be looking for someone to come sneaking down the alley or up the street in the dark.

She found her way up in the form of an ivy-covered wall. Checking the vines for strength, she found they'd gotten good purchase in the petrified toffee wall. With a couple of quick scans of the area, she made certain there was nobody to see her, and then she started up. She was getting stronger. She'd never felt this strong before now. That went some way towards boosting her confidence in her choices. She was better than some cheap-street tramp. She could be–and _do_ –anything she wanted.

There was a small bobble reaching the roof, then Star was standing tall in the cool night air, staring across at the next roof and the one beyond that. She had to cross four rooftops total to reach Oswalt's place. _Better get started, Star,_ she told herself. Taking a deep breath and casting a spell–one she'd learned from Patrick's folks instead of her mom–the young wizard leaped literally into the unknown. Sticking the landing relatively easily, she found her confidence grew, so she took the next roof and the next and the next.

Miles away, Finn found himself in a strange sort of party, making the rounds with Cherry, who made no bones about who he was and why he was here with her. It was a mortal embarrassment for him to be here in a room full of the crime boss's friends and political allies when he was supposed to be head of the Banana Guard. He should be arresting every face in the room, and he was absolutely powerless. He had to stand there and smile as they talked about selling poison to young people in other kingdoms. He had to pretend that it didn't bother him when they discussed laundering the cash through Candy Kingdom banks. He even had to laugh at the jokes! Through it all, he kept his eyes–and thoughts–to himself. That is until the latecomer had walked in.

Junior had walked in about halfway through the party, looking the biz in a red velvet dress. His son's wife. And pregnant too. Billy was married to her, and they were expecting triplets. And Finn wanted to fasten his big mitts around her neck and squeeze because she was a lot of why they were in this mess. If Star's moonlighting as a part-time enforcer had helped Cherry gain the upper hand, Junior had been the one to put the whole thing together. She was avoiding him, of course. She had been avoiding him since she got here. Now, as Cherry talked about her new holdings in Warrior Kingdom, Finn took the opportunity to slip away. Nobody here was interested in doing her in.

It was a scent that alerted Junior to the threat before her uncle could even open his mouth. She was at the refreshments, putting together a plate–her second of the evening. She was hungry a whole freakin' lot lately, and she _felt_ fat even if she wasn't. Yet. Billy, in his youthful, _excited_ way, swore he didn't care about the pounds she was gaining. He loved her just the same. And his actions never said anything else. Of course, his parents hadn't weighed in yet. Things could get a whole lot _different_ and more difficult when Finn, Simone, and Huntress got through with him. She had never been on good terms with them, and things had gotten no better since she and Billy got engaged. If anything, Finn and his wives had gotten _colder_ towards her. It wasn't fair. She'd made her share of mistakes, sure, but she was still family, and she didn't understand why they had to treat her this way.

"Uncle Finn," the shapechanger murmured. "Let's talk," muttered Finn. He didn't give her a choice. Grabbing her by the arm, he dragged her towards the dance floor, leaving the plate on the table. In short order, she found herself dancing with her donk of an uncle. She could see the anger in his eyes. He was mad as hell, and he wanted to punish _her_. The Hero of Ooo opened with, "I should never have let you come back." Junior flinched. "You think she wouldn't have gotten her way without me," the shapechanger retorted? "Maybe. Maybe not," muttered Finn, "but you helped her. You helped make her what she is now. You fuck up everything you touch... You make everything worse."

Shaking her head, Junior shot back, "she came t'me! She told me I'd never shake my record! The one _you_ put on me, _uncle Finn_." "Never going to quit blaming somebody else for your own mistakes, are you, Junior," Finn shot back. "You still won't take the blame for wrecking those three families! You could have fucking _killed_ somebody. You just got lucky that nobody got hurt when that building collapsed." Junior glanced away. She wasn't proud of that. She hadn't meant for anybody to get hurt. She'd needed the money for some things she was doing, and the funds for the building repairs had been an easy source of cash. She would have put it all back when she was done. She always had.

Finn was still speaking, reminding her of all the evil she'd done, making it clear that he had no intentions of ever accepting her in his family. She didn't know why she'd thought it could be any other way. Billy had sworn that, once they were hitched and raising a family–when she had shown she was reformed–things would be better. Finn's eyes seemed to accuse her, reminding her, _you_ didn't _reform, though, did you?_ She'd continued to do a lot of the same things, just hiding them from Billy too. She'd done all she could to hide things from him.

"You roped Star into this," growled Finn. "You got my daughter involved in it. For that alone, I have to make you pay." And there were a lot of ways he could do just that. Really, there was one absolutely certain way he could destroy her. The thought of what Billy would say–and do–came close to breaking her heart, and she found herself lashing out. "So how's your new _girlfriend,_ uncle Finn," Junior snapped! Her boss wasn't shy about telling anyone and everyone who she was seeing and what her relationship was with Finn the Human. "I bet Simone and Huntress would be really thrilled with where you spend your nights," she said. "Be a shame if somebody told them..."

"Leave them out of this," growled Finn. "Or _what_ ," retorted Junior? He didn't need her to know that his wives already knew what was going on. Cherry thought she was stealing Finn from his wives. It was important that she keep thinking that. If she found out that Simone and Emeraude–indeed his whole family–knew about her and her threats against them, she would have to suspect that he didn't really love her. She'd start asking questions, and that might lead to her taking action against his people sooner rather than later. Right now, she trusted him enough to leave his chain a little slack, and he needed that. "It's simple," said the shapechanger. "You scratch my back; I scratch yours. I don't tell Simone. You don't tell Billy. We keep the streets in the streets. Deal, uncle Finn?" Grudgingly, Finn replied, "deal."

She spun on her heel and strode back across the room to her dinner. Finn returned to Cherry's side just in time for her to wrap things up. Rising, she said, "come along, Finn." Obediently, the hero followed his evil girlfriend (tm) across the room to the door, exchanging glances with his niece/daughter-in-law as he did so. He couldn't tell Billy yet, but the day of reckoning was coming. He intended to put Junior in the deepest hole they could find for what she'd done. "She's not one of my favorite people," opined Cherry, "but she's useful, Finn. Understand?" He nodded. He understood. He was to leave Junior alone.

As the pair headed out to Cherry's cushy limousine, a confrontation of a different sort was shaping up in Marceline's old lair. Patrick and Fionna were working their way through the last kinks in the spell that would bind the crystal sword to Fionna for all time. Patrick, who had been irritable and cranky all week, had been good today. He'd been nice to Fionna, and Fionna had been using all her considerable charm to keep him that way. Her reward had been a pleasant few hours where they'd actually laughed and joked just like old times when they were kids.

She'd been trying to get through to him. She wanted to explore the place they found themselves. He liked her. She could tell he liked her, and she had been trying to move things forward. Unfortunately, for some reason in the last few days Patrick had done everything he could not to show her any of the affection he'd shown while they were trapped in that nasty hotel room. He'd been cold and sometimes nasty, leaving the pretty blonde a little confused.

Sitting back on his haunches, Patrick said, "try it now, Fi." He kept his eyes glued to her face, little realizing how hard his expression had become. He'd been determined to not look at her chest. Bra-less Fionna was a fucking sight to see, and he was having trouble keeping his promise to himself to be a hard-nosed DGTOW brother. When she was around him, smelling nice and with her hair wild like that, he found himself getting so hungry for her he could scream. It made working on the sword-problem really hard and just made him _more_ prickly.

Fionna was a little distracted herself, and she almost dropped the crystal sword instead of making it extend. Fortunately, her amazing reflexes saved her. Grabbing the sword before it dropped, she got it in a comfortable position in her hand and willed it to open. The blade very nearly shot out. Of course she'd been able to do that _before_. She'd been getting better and better at controlling the sword over the last few days until it was almost second-nature. She could control when the blade came out. She could control how fast it came out. She could control the length, and even the shape. The only trouble she still had was the risk that someone would grab the hilt and cause the blade to lose its affinity for _her_. Though Patrick had been making inroads the last few days, they'd had some pretty bad setbacks with even toast-face able to take Fionna's weapon away.

Fionna took a few experimental swipes with the blade. She wasn't sure what she was going to do after this. She would have to maybe make a spear or something if her sword failed to work. She couldn't protect her friends and family without a weapon. "Ready," asked the wizard? Fionna nodded. Patrick stepped up behind her, and she felt a shiver as his arms slipped around her waist. This was safer than him grabbing the sword from in front of her. She'd seen what happened to the last guy who grabbed the sword. At the same time the feeling of his arms around her did things to her.

She wasn't the only one. Patrick couldn't help a tingle of desire every time his arms brushed those big boobies of hers. He couldn't help his arms brushing against her knockers, and he'd gotten an embarrassing hard-on _twice_ because of it. Now he grabbed the hilt of the sword and tried to wrestle it away. Fionna's fingers were strong. His mother had been shocked by how strong the blond vixen was, even from an early age. Pat had no success at all snatching the sword out of her hands. More to the point, though, the sword didn't collapse. No matter how much he tried to exert his own will over it–pretty considerable, since he was a wizard–he failed utterly to wrest control of the crystal blade from her.

"Are you even trying," she demanded? Her head twisted around to look at him, and there was a mischievous glint in her eyes as she said, "maybe you just like having your arms around me." Pat all but _jumped_ back. That startled her. "I-I was just kidding," she burbled. "I... it's ok..." Which, for Pat, made things worse. He turned away. He couldn't deal with this scene. Especially after seeing her hugging Bubba. The candy-prince might be her bro, but he knew Fi was still hot for Alpha Dudes.

Eyes gone misty, the pretty blonde sniffled, "don't you want me...?" Rolling his eyes, Patrick threw up his hands and said, "of course I want you! Whaddya' think I am?! A corpse?! I'd have to be dead not t'get a big boner looking at you!" "Th-then _why_ ," howled Fionna?! "W-why won't you do anything? You don't even try to kiss me!" Patiently, Patrick reminded her, "beta-dude! I'm not the kind of guy who gets the girl...! You'd... You'd just dump me when I start to get boring."

Fionna had had enough of his bullshit. Stuffing her sword in her pocket, she hauled off and punched him in the shoulder, hard enough to hurt. Face gone red, the leggy blonde growled, "it's a two-way street, Patrick! You have to work too!" With a growl of anger, Fionna Mertens stormed off. Patrick stared after her in shock and confusion, his mind going a half-dozen directions at once.

A piece of him couldn't help noting that her ass wiggled just like her mom's did–and just like _his_ mom's did. A piece of him realized that she was strong enough to really beat the crap out of him if she wanted. There was a part of him that was kind of turned on by that. There was a part of him that was _certain_ there was no hope there–that Fi would always be attracted to Alpha Dudes with money and power. And there was a part of him that was trying desperately to shout down all the other pieces–to drag him around to pursuing what was so obviously dangling right there in front of him.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41:

"I know what you're thinking, honey," sighed Cherry. Finn flushed and glanced away. Stroking his face, the sexpot said, "we're kind of partners in this, honey. I keep the thugs and the killers under control. You keep the guard out of my hair. It's simple. We can keep the kingdom nice and quiet that way..." Finn nodded. Perched on his desk, Cherry murmured, "I'm just an attorney asking for a few details on my clients' deaths, ok? Nothing wrong with this, right?" Again, Finn nodded. This was a lot like when Huntress used to show up at his office with mischief on her mind. Only Finn wasn't innocent anymore. He knew what Cherry was doing both personally and professionally.

She was pushing his buttons on a number of levels. Dressed in that tight skirt, and with her blouse undone down to her plump boobies, she was just like E, selling illicit sex in exchange for his soul. If that wasn't enough, she was selling him the lie that she would keep her guys under control if only he just played along. He knew that was a lie because she'd had him messily 'deal with' a couple of guys who just couldn't go along with the plan. And here they were again.

At the same time, she was right. She was an attorney. She'd represented Joe Oswalt and Tommy G in court for an attempted murder trial and for grand theft respectively. She was on the record as representing those two losers. Did he really have a choice but to tell her what he knew? If he tried to claim he was protecting the investigation, she'd know he was lieing. She already knew everything there was to know about her two _clients_. That might lead her to questioning other things.

"Oswalt apparently got pretty agitated with Tommy about something," rumbled Finn. "Something about an accusation. I don't have the text of the accusation. Just the words of Tommy's son." Now Tommy was dead as the proverbial door-nail, and Joe was laying in a hospital with a steel dart lodged in his forehead. His family had him on life-support, and they were looking for some kind of miracle. "Thanks, Finn," sighed Cherry. Leaning in, she gave him a peck on the lips before hopping down from the desk. "See you tonight, honey," said she. "My cousin, Grape, is dropping by with her husband." Finn promised he would be there, but he was promising Cherry's back as the troubled crime-boss went out the door.

She'd been hoping her boy-toy had a little more information than she had. She knew what the accusation was. Somebody had messaged her, saying that it was Joe who'd made Handy and some of her other employees disappear. She'd called a meeting with Joe to ask some pointed questions, but, before he could appear, _this_ had happened. The idiot had gone storming over to Tommy's place and stabbed him half-a-hundred times before Tommy's son came in and shot him between the eyes. Thing was that Joe shouldn't even have known what she was calling him about. She had a spy in her organization that belonged to Joe. Somebody had told him just what it was that she was asking about. That was a little scary. Joe was one of the fellas she was thinking of replacing. Fortunately, she had a good idea who the spy actually was.

Down in the car, she picked up the phone and dialed up her chief henchman. When Junior answered the phone, Cherry heard the sounds of some kind of party in the background. "Who're you with," demanded the prickly crime-boss? Juggling the phone and a bowl of cake-batter, Junior replied, "baby-shower. Just my sisters and a couple of friends." "Why don't you step into the hall," said the crime boss. Her sisters didn't need to hear this. Junior did as she was told, stepping into the closet to hide what she was doing from her few guests. Cherry wasted no time. "Oswalt knew that Tommy came by with that phone," rumbled Cherry. "That means Fat Pete's a spy." "So what do you want me to do," asked Junior? "Find out what Pete's been telling Joe. More importantly, I need to know if Tommy really did try to set Joe up or if there's something else going on here." Somebody may well have been trying to start a war inside her organization, and she couldn't have that.

Back in Finn's office, he waited until Cherry's limousine pulled away from the curb. Then he drew his secret phone and began sending messages to his daughter. He was a little disappointed that Crazy Joe and Tommy G had done each other in. He'd hoped to stir Cherry's guys into distrusting each other. There was some of that, but he wanted more. He wanted her chasing after shadows in her own organization. There was somebody who could help with that, though.

As Finn worked, there came a knocking at his door. Finn quickly slipped the phone back in his pocket as his son came through the door. "Hey, dad," said Billy, as he shut the door behind him. "We... we kinda' need to talk." "Sure, Bill," said Finn. "Sure. What's... What's going on?" "Dad," said Billy, "I need to know what's going on with Fi. Where is she?" Finn put on a smile and said, "Fionna's fine, Bill. She's doing great." "Then why can't I call her," asked the younger man? Scratching at the back of his head, Finn said, "uh... well, she lost her phone." Which wasn't really a lie. One of the jokers in thief-city had Fionna's phone now. He'd tried calling Finn to blackmail him for money–probably at Penny's request.

"Somebody called me last night," Billy said. "It was a woman's voice. Said she could take me to Fionna..." _Penny,_ thought Finn! Alarmed, the hero said, "you can't talk to that person. Don't ever talk to her..." "Who is she," asked Billy? "She asked to meet me somewhere in the wild-lands. She said she'd take me to Fionna..." "She's a thief, Bill," replied Finn. "She stole Fi's phone. I'm'a... I'll have the phone deactivated." "Fine," said Bill. "I'll go drop Fi a new phone." " _No_ ," said Finn. "Dad," said Billy, with a tremendous sigh. "You can't keep lieing about this. I have a right to know." "Fionna's looking after Princess French Toast," replied Finn. "There are people who wish the princess harm. That's all you need to know, Bill." "Fine, dad," muttered the frustrated young man. Spinning on his heel, Billy stalked out.

He was angry at his parents. He was angry about all the deception. He'd been talking about this with JJ for a few weeks now, wondering and speculating about what was going on. At first it had been light-hearted, with JJ suggesting that Fionna was doing something stupid or reckless again–maybe wandering in the wilderness or hitting dungeons. Recently, speculation had turned a little darker, with Billy getting increasingly anxious about his sister. JJ had begun to suggest that maybe there was something terrible happening that Billy's parents were hiding. And then she'd begun to suggest that maybe it wasn't _Fionna_ that was the problem. Maybe it was Billy's parents themselves. Standing at the door, Billy suddenly asked, "so when did you decide that you didn't care about us anymore, dad?" "W-what," stammered Finn? "You haven't been home in weeks, dad," said Billy. "Does moms know...?" "That's none of your business, Bill," said Finn. "Stay out of it. Just do your job." "Fine," muttered the younger man, and he slammed the door behind him.

Finn slumped at his desk. That had been the worst experience he'd ever had as a person and as a dad. What the fuck was he supposed to tell his son? That he was screwing some other girl? At the same time, knowing just how much Billy loved Simone and Emeraude, Finn knew he had to get ahead of his son and deflect him from asking those dangerous questions. Picking up his secret phone, he dialed up Simon's place. He had to let Simone know that Billy was sniffing around, and they had to come up with a strategy for what she was going to say to their son.

A distraught Billy went out and sat in his truck, staring at the dashboard for a long, long while, wondering how his family had gone to pieces so fast. Looking back, he couldn't see any signs that anything really changed. His mothers were the same as they had always been across the length of his short life. His birth-mom took care of the house and looked after things at home, spending her days cooking and cleaning alongside vigorous workouts at the gym. His stepmom spent her days in the Candy Kingdom doing whatever work Bonnie asked of her–usually hunting down some nasty customer or doing something dirty that would have challenged his dad's principles. And his dad went into town every day and rode that desk, directing the Candy Kingdom's enforcers in upholding the law.

In the evenings, Finn the Human was always home to see his wives and kids. He never seemed at all interested in other women or in doing anything that a husband and father _shouldn't_ be doing. So what happened? Billy had been worrying at this for days–ever since his strange, _cryptic_ conversation with Star. Something was going on that none of them would tell him. That something somehow involved Fionna. He refused to believe it was something so simple as Fionna doing a mission for their dad. For one, Fi wasn't deputized. At least that he knew of. For another, well, why not tell him? He could have helped. More to the point, school would be starting up again, and Fionna and Star would have to get back to class. Their parents were insistent on them finishing their educations. For Fi to be gone... That wasn't really acceptable.

Picking up his phone, the worried young man called up his wife of just weeks. "Hey, babe," burbled JJ. "JJ...," rumbled Billy. "Something wrong," asked the shapechanger? Sitting there in his truck, Billy was at a loss for words. He was hesitant to bring this up with JJ because JJ didn't really like his parents. She was still mad at his dad for putting her in jail and then running her out of town, and she didn't exactly get along well with Billy's moms either.

"I...," rumbled Billy. "I confronted dad today." "Oh," burbled JJ. It was calm and soothing–just what he needed now. Billy sighed, "I... he didn't tell me anything. He gave me some bullshit story about Fi protecting Breakfast Princess's kid or something." "Did you ask your mom," asked JJ? "No," sighed Billy. He hadn't really dared. "Hon," said the shapechanger. "You need to talk to your mom about... things. If your dad's really doing something he shouldn't... She kinda' needs to know, right?" "Yeah," sighed Billy. "I gotta' go, babe," said JJ. "The girls are here. We'll talk when you get home..." Billy let her go. He had a patrol to get done anyway. Then he had to get down to school and turn in the three tests he owed to finish college.

Billy the Human went out on his patrol and did his best to lose himself in his job for the next few hours or so. He hid behind his badge, burying his worry and the anger it caused behind a cold facade of authority. He was more effective that day than he had ever been before. The young hero foiled six major crimes, busting a small group of bank-robbers as they were making their getaway, foiling a kidnaping attempt, and breaking up a small gang of punks who were in the protection biz. As he chased perps up and down the street, he lost himself in the job until he almost forgot that he was supposed to go and see his birth-mom.

These days, Simone Mertens could often be found at Simon Petrikov's house, working on his political campaign, answering phones, and generally doing everything she could to help him win an election that hadn't even started yet. That was part of what was bugging Billy. It wasn't like his mom not to be home in the evenings. It wasn't like her to be so focused on something so far outside their family and so utterly unconcerned with her kids. None of this made any sense, and it left the young man in kind of a state as he came up the walk to Simon's place at half-past seven.

Ringing the doorbell, he sat there waiting a long, long while. No-one came to answer, and he rang the bell again. When he finally did get an answer, it came in the form of a penguin. The sight of one of the Gunthers standing there staring up at him sent a chill down his spine. The last time any of these guys had been seen was back when Billy was only months old. The Ice Kingdom had shrunk after the Ice King stopped maintaining it. It had shrunk down to an eighth of its original size. Most folk suspected that the Ice Crowns were still hidden there somewhere, else the whole thing likely would have melted. Currently Simon Petrikov's old domain was an ocean of high-end outlet malls and restaurants where the people of the local kingdoms went to get their shop on. So why was this penguin here?

Billy followed the little bugger back into Simon's house to find his mom camped out in front of a computer with stacks of campaign flyers and other papers around her. She had her feet in a pair of fuzzy slippers, and she was dressed down in ice-blue shorts and a tank-top, suggesting she'd just rolled out of bed.

And on her head was a crown.

Billy shivered again as he took in the sight of the object on his mom's head. She was wearing a crown, and... was that a blue-tinge to her skin? "Hey, hon," said she. "Sorry I couldn't come to the door. I had to finish this." "M-mom," he stammered as he approached. She was smiling, and she offered him frozen-yogurt coated popcorn–one of his favorite snacks. She'd always said she didn't make it as well as she used to when she had powers. Now she put a near-perfect bowl down in front of him. He was _so_ weirded out by that. At the same time, the way her eyes followed him made him a little nervous.

"Mom," he asked, "what's going on with dad and Fi?" "Huh," she asked? Her expression suggested she didn't understand what he meant. Shaking his head, Billy said, "mom, I know dad's not been home in days... maybe weeks... What's going on with you two? I... Did he leave us?" Simone Mertens gave her son a look of utter bafflement. "Your dad's working a lot, hon," said Simone. "I think that's fair since I've kind of been here a lot." "That's the other thing that's kind of bugging me," said the young man. "W-why...?" "Am I here," asked Simone? "To help my father, of course." She gave him a winning smile. "I know the whole thing with the crown's kind of worrisome, honey," said she. "I... I'm not really used to it myself. But I kind of need it to get my work done." And she told him she was thinking of retiring the Ice Queen permanently when the campaign was over.

"Mom," growled Billy. "That's not what I mean, and you know it! Fionna's missing! Nobody'll tell me where she is...!" "But, honey," interrupted his mom, "your father told you just today where your sister is. We'd... We'd love to tell you everything, but... Well, you know how things are when you're trying to protect somebody..." "Right," muttered Billy. With a heavy sigh, he turned to go. "You don't have to run off," his mom said. "Stay a bit. Keep your old mom company for a little while. I'll make some ice-cream... I know how much you like my ice-cream!" With little choice, Billy nodded. Clearing a spot near her workspace, he sat down.

His mom plied him with ice-cream and other treats for the better part of an hour, doing her best to keep him off the subject of his sister and away from the topic of what his dad was or wasn't doing with another woman. She made it all seem so _natural_. In point of fact, she made it seem so natural what was going on that Billy became all but convinced that it was anything but. When he or his dad were in danger–when they were working the tough cases that put them at risk–Simone Mertens could get to be a bit of a nervous wreck. She called him more when he pulled the late nights. She would get out of bed or get up early to call them when they weren't going to be home. She had a pattern of behavior that she'd never broken, but the pattern had completely broken down in recent weeks.

Saying goodbye at the door of Simon and Betty Petrikovs' house, Billy got in his truck and got on his way. Down at the end of the block, when he knew his mom wouldn't be looking, he pulled over, drew out his phone, and called his lady. He needed somebody to talk to. He needed JJ's thoughts on what he should do next. He was about ready to start spying on his parents, and he knew that would go over like a concrete balloon when they found out.

"Hey, babe," Junior greeted her husband. "JJ," rumbled Billy. "I... Mom's lied to me." There was a pause on the other end. "You there," he asked? "Yeah," huffed the shapechanger. "You ok," he asked? "Running up the stairs at work, hon. Got a call from a client. Urgent." Billy sighed. He didn't like that. She'd mostly been taking it easy–getting good rest and good exercise and eating better–but her idiot clients would call at the worst times, sometimes dragging her out of bed to appraise something or to look in on something they were concerned about.

With a sigh, Billy said, "I'm not sure what I should do... Should I try and find out on my own..." Junior gave him an emphatic, " _no_!" Then, calmly, she said, "we're... We're kind of in hock with them already, babe. Why... don't we have my dad ask?" " _Brilliant_ ," cried Billy! "If there's one person dad'll open up to, it's Jake!" "Ok," huffed Junior. "I'll ask tomorrow." Moving on, Billy asked, "you ok? Honey, I can come and get you..." "I'm fine," said JJ. "I'm ok, babe. I... I'm just trying to get this collection sorted. This stupid museum's changed the exhibition. Again." "Ok," said Billy. "Get home soonest... Love you."

Jake Junior hung up her phone and slipped it back in her pocket. Turning back to the scared face she had dangling out over a three-hundred foot drop, the shapechanger revealed her fearsome true visage, showing an unending array of razor-sharp teeth. " _Talk_ ," growled the evil creature, as she shook the gangster! The shortbread cookie shit himself at that point, making a noisome stench that made the evil shapechanger recoil. "Geez, man," growled the evil entity. "What've you been eatin', Pete?!" She wanted to drop him just to get the scent out of her nose. "I-I can explain," Pete gobbled! "I swear, man, I can explain!"

That ugly face extended on the long, sinuous neck until it was figuratively looking him in the eye. "You been creepin' on the boss," growled the evil creature. A long, sharp bone spike teased the side of Pete's face. "Why," asked Junior? "Joe was scared, man," Pete howled! "He was scared the boss was gonna' do him! He thought she put Tommy up t'framin' him!" "Why would Joe think we'd snatch our own guys," Junior snarled?! "W-we didn't know," said Pete! "We only knew your girl was doin' the jobs!" "My girl," growled Junior?! "What girl is that?!" "Wiz-girl," said Pete! "One you had boppin' guys. She been creepin' around lately. Couple guys seen her in the building the day Brisky went missing. Then we seen her on'a tape droppin' some o'Brisky's stuff in Joe's place."

That was ominous. Junior hadn't seen her cousin in _months_. But then, she hadn't really been looking. Billy had gotten his sister un-grounded, but she'd been a little too hot just then. Junior had been a little too worried that if she pushed the issue, Star would end up revealing just who had been paying her to whack gangsters around the Candy Kingdom. Was Star working for somebody else? It was certainly a possibility. The little bitch was just like her relatives–a greedy little shit who didn't think too far past the end of her nose. All she was concerned about was showing up her sister by earning big bucks without ending up on her back to do it.

 _It's_ her _alright,_ thought Junior. _Who's paying her, though_? Who had the money to pay her? Who'd be dumb enough to cross the Boss of Bosses? _Outsider,_ thought Junior? That made the most sense. Cherry had pissed off a lot of guys outside the kingdom, but she'd used her boy-toy to smash the two most dangerous. That left what? A hundred junior dudes with the hunger to smash them? Question was, what would she do with this? Sic Finn on his own kid? _Nope,_ thought Junior. _No matter how good the pussy is, Finn won't kill Star for it._ And what was _Junior_ going to do with this? Was she going to whack her own cousin? _No,_ thought Junior. As awful as she was, she wasn't that far gone yet. She still had hope of turning her life around. If she killed Star, how would she look Billy in the eye? She had to find the fool paying Star. If she took him out, she could put an end to Star's antics without getting herself in hock with Billy.

Turning to Pete, she demanded, "where's the tape? Who has it?" "I-it's in Joe's holo-player," Pete howled! "Just go in his place and get it!" "Does anybody else know about my wizard," asked Jake Junior?! "N-no," howled Pete! "Joe didn't want nobody else t'know until he got answers out of Tommy!" "Good," replied Junior, as she dropped the hapless gangster to his death. Shrinking her body back to normal size, the shapechanger headed back down the backside of the mountain, bound for her car. She had to get to Joe Oswalt's place, grab the tape before anybody else watched it, then try and track Star back to her boss. Take care of the boss, Star was cut out of the picture. No muss, no fuss. Billy never had to know just what was going on behind his back.

 **Smaller update this week. Holidays and all that. Hope this isn't running too long for people. For those who were looking for more Marceline and Marshall, they will be returning. Just be patient a little longer.**


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42:

"Gather 'round everybody," said Finn the Human. As the leadership of the Banana Guard gathered around, Spike asked the obvious, "what're we doing?" "We're taking James down," rumbled Finn. "About friggin' time," growled Spike. Billy frowned at his father as the officers gathered around the planning table. Finn had been saying for months that they couldn't move on Spike. He didn't want to start a war in the streets that would bring Princess Bonnibel trouble. So what had changed?

"James is planning to march on the Treasury tomorrow," said Finn. "He's planning to storm the gates, break in, and distribute the cash to his followers." Which sort of explained the sudden change in policy. At least it would have for pretty much everybody there except the suspicious human boy in the background. "How did we learn about this," asked Billy? "Got a tip," said Finn. "Somebody tied to James thinks that maybe this is a step too far." "They ain't hardly kiddin'," said Spike. "That's some kind of crazy shit. What would the Princess say?"

Calmly, Finn said, "we're going to give James a chance. One chance. If he backs down, problem solved..." Spike asked, "and if he doesn't...?" "Then we do whatever is necessary to keep the peace," Finn replied. Turning to the leader of the Heavy Boys, the Captain said, "your guys are backstop inside the Treasury. Bolt and bar the doors. Anybody comes in before you get the all-clear from me, shoot to kill." Next he turned to his son. He was proud of his boy and proud of all Billy had accomplished. There was pride in his heart and no deception at all when he said, "Bill. The important job's on you. Meet James's thugs out front of the gates. Do everything you can to convince him to go."

Billy frowned and said, "dad, he's... He knows you. He doesn't know me. How'll I convince him to back off?" "You're smart and sharp, Bill," said Finn. "You've got a whole lot of your mom in you. I know you can find the right words to say. And if that fails... I know you've got what it takes to make sure he doesn't get into the Treasury." Frowning, Spike asked, "what'll you be doing?" Finn turned to his lieutenant and said, "you and me have the third piece of the plan. He's gonna' come with enough guys to overrun the usual guards, but he always keeps some of his crazies in reserve. We're gonna' be waiting to cut them off. That'll leave Bill dealing with maybe fifty guys at the most."

Thinking about that, Billy nodded. "It's a good plan, dad," he said. "If we keep the rest of his crazies away, we can keep this whole thing low-key. No need for Starchy to stick his nose in." The absolute last thing they needed was Starchy and his conspiracy theories on the air during a riot, making this whole thing blow up on them. Finn nodded, but he had another plan entirely on tap for Starchy. His old buddy was going to have serious car-trouble. He wouldn't be getting into work until the whole thing was already over. Finn told his guys, "the show starts at six-thirty tomorrow morning. We're going to want to be there and in position well before James's guys get started..." "I think we should get there _tonight_ , dad," said Billy.

When he had his dad's attention, the younger Mertens opined, "he's going to have his guys stake the place out tonight. I think we should get moving _now_. If he knows we're there, he'll back off. This is a good chance to take him in. Let's make sure we don't blow it." Nodding, Finn said, "ok. Get your team together, let their families know they won't be home, and get moving." He clapped Billy on the shoulder. He was starting to think that, if something bad happened to him as a result of all the crazy that was happening right now, Billy could ably take over.

Billy immediately went outside to the hallway and called his wife. "Hey, babe," JJ answered. She was cheerful, which said that the baby-thing wasn't dragging on her too much today. She was already starting to get a little sick of the _changes_ that came with being preggers. "Hey, honey," sighed Billy. "I... I have to work tonight. I won't be home like I said." There was a pause on the other end of the line, and he feared what her reaction would be. "Ok, honey," said JJ. "Just... be careful, ok?" Billy barely checked the relieved sigh that wanted to come out of his mouth. Instead, he promised that he would.

On the other end of the line, JJ folded her phone back into her pocket as she returned to the business at hand. "Are you sure of this," said the crime boss? With a nod, Junior replied, "followed her back to the Observatory. Shoko's there. She opened the window." Cherry nodded. It made sense. Finn had done all he could to isolate himself from the sole remaining Royal in the kingdom. He'd done it to protect her, and he'd kept the younger of Bonnibel's two children in the dark about what was going on. Unfortunately, Shoko seemed to be as much of a meddling busy-body as her mother.

She'd gone down to the basement of the palace and confronted Cherry's puppet. At the time, Cherry had wondered if the robot had fooled the young princess. Now she knew that it hadn't. Shoko had moved out of the palace to be away from Cherry's spies. Now it appeared she was using the cover of the Observatory to strike back, the nasty little bitch. "Can we pay the wizard off," asked Cherry? Junior replied, "we'd still have the problem..." Cherry nodded. That was certainly true. If Shoko could hire one hitman to try taking out her guys, she could easily hire somebody else. And what if she reached out to somebody in the organization next time.

 _Damn,_ thought the Boss of Bosses. She needed that cunt alive. She needed her as leverage on Bonnie. While she could lie about Shoko's status, it raised her risk. Eventually that would come out, and she'd have open rebellion from the bitch. They were closing in on the formula. The Decorpsinator Serum was almost ready. The last thing Cherry needed to happen was for Bonnie to turn her back on the work. "Keep the surveillance up," said the gangster girl. "Let me know the minute you see or hear of her doing something dangerous. We'll watch for now."

"What's this thing with James," asked the dog-icorn? Cherry smiled a sinister smile that said that maybe James had gotten to the end of the road. "You just let me handle him," said the crime boss. "Keep tabs on that kid. We'll warn the other members of my organization that somebody may be trying to start an internal feud, but I want to know what she's up to." Junior acknowledged those orders and turned to go. On impulse, Cherry asked, "have you been seeing a doctor?" Junior stopped in mid-turn. Turning to face her boss, she admitted, "yeah. Dr. Princess. She... treated my mom." "Is she any good," asked Cherry? With a frown, the shapechanger asked, "what? You concerned about my health?" With a shrug, the crime-boss said, "I have a vested interest in you, Jake Junior. You're my right hand. Of course I'm concerned."

Glancing away, Junior replied, "it's... Things are fine. I can't sleep on stomach anymore, so I have to sleep on my side." "Any complications," asked the crime-boss? "Nothing so far," rumbled Junior. The questions were making her very uncomfortable. "Alright," said Cherry. "Right now, all I need's eyes on Shoko. See if you can bug the Observatory or get some of the staff there to look in on her." "Ok," said Junior as she turned to go. Standing outside, the dog-icorn found herself staring at the door. That had been very weird. She could only guess that finding out some of the ugly characters in the gang were maybe spying on her had spooked Cherry. If it made her less likely to be confrontational with Junior, so much the better.

Morning found a disturbed and worried Finn waiting in an unmarked van a few blocks from the Treasury. Billy and his guys had moved out the previous day, slipped into the mint via the loading docks, and locked the place down. They had a hundred guards inside and there were a number of defenses they could call on. The place was as secure as it could get. The Heavy Boys were on call–ready and able to back Billy up. And Finn sat blocks away out of sight–ready and able to block James's reinforcements or keep him from escaping. So why did he feel like he felt?

A lot of it was the principle. Cherry had _created_ the Prophet James. She'd smuggled him back here from the wastelands to help her in destabilizing the kingdom. Now that he'd succeeded, she was dumping him first chance she got–and using Finn as the means to do it. He imagined he was supposed to get Cherry out from under the problem of James by just whacking his ass. His evil girlfriend (tm) had been doing a pretty good job of setting him up to kill people for her, and he was honestly a little sick of it. It was time to flip the script.

He wasn't going to just go march up to James and stab him to death regardless of what she wanted. He was going to take James in, book him, jail him, and exile him back to the wastelands. Key to that was preventing this whole thing from escalating. That was why they were going to pile out of the mint and smother the whole thing before James and his guys could stir things up. Once they had James in custody, they could deal with the rest of his idiots. Without Cherry supplying cash, the numbers had already dropped quite a lot.

Of course, Cherry couldn't leave him alone with just _that_ complication. She was endlessly testing him–pushing at him. He knew that a lot of it was about trying to drag him into her world. She was like Penny in more ways than one. In her mind, if she got him to commit enough evil acts, he'd be just like her. Now she had another temptation for him.

He'd thought she'd done it by accident at first. They'd been talking in her office, and Finn had noticed one of the documents on her desk–just glanced at it–and found the name of his lieutenant there. He'd been so shocked, he hadn't been able to hide it. She'd seen what he was looking at and boldly confirmed it. Spike was the mole inside the Banana Guards. Cherry had been supplying him with dope and liquor to buy his services, and she'd actually _laughed_ about it. He'd been happy not to have to stay last night. Coming out here to stake out the mint had kept him from strangling her.

Of course his anger had gotten transferred to Spike.

 _He was supposed to have gotten cleaned up,_ thought the hero. It was a condition of Finn hiring him into the Guard. Honestly, Finn had known for a while now that Spike had slipped back off the wagon. He'd twice caught Spike weaving down the hall. He'd ignored it because Spike had done such good work for him over the years. The tubby detective had solved a lot of tough cases for the Banana Guard. Now he realized that Spike may never have really gotten off booze. He'd been starting to think something awful. What if Spike hadn't really solved those cases? What if Cherry had just fed him the information so that she could get her hooks into him? It fit the pattern. She'd been very subtle about who she controlled and how in the early going.

 _Does it matter,_ thought Finn? It didn't. Spike had made his bed, and Cherry had taken full advantage. They were where they were. Cherry didn't know it, but Spike was going to suffer a very unfortunate accident. Finn had made the decision during the long, unpleasant drive over from headquarters. He was going to use the cover of this ugly confrontation with James to whack Spike. He had the evidence. He'd seen it with his own eyes. He'd sent Star to Shoko's digs with papers on Spike indicating that he was guilty of treason. Shoko had signed the warrant without hesitation. Spike was a dead man today, and he didn't even know it.

"How you liking that thing with the kid," rumbled the rotund candy-person? Spike had a bad habit of needling Finn about things that really irritated him. Finn hadn't made it much of a secret that he didn't like Jake Junior. It was pretty much plain to everybody at headquarters that Finn wasn't happy with his son's marriage to the shapechanger. There was a tension between father and son these days. "He's a man," rumbled Finn. "It's his choice." He'd tried to make that clear to everybody who asked. He didn't like Junior, but if that was who his son loved, then that was fine. "Babies ain't gonna' be pretty like their dad," rumbled Spike. Finn grimaced. Babies were babies, and he would be happy with however his grandkids looked. His problem wasn't with the pups. It was with their mom.

"Figure maybe she'll quit runnin' in the shadows," asked Spike? Spike had been one of the people placing bets that Junior would be caught out at something she shouldn't be doing. He'd laid odds the minute Billy's wedding was announced. Finn had told him to shut his trap. It wasn't any of Spike's business, and Finn didn't want anybody riding his kid about his choice for a wife. Finn understood where his son was coming from. Billy Mertens was one of the last few humans in Ooo. Where was he going to find love?

Now, to find out that Spike may have known all along what Junior was into? It made Finn wanted to wring his neck for even speaking out of turn. All of this could have been prevented if Spike had opened his mouth for something more than jokes or booze. It was as if Spike had basically created this crisis. Irritable–he'd been _trapped_ in this van with Spike for hours now–Finn clambered over his seat and slipped into the back. He needed a break from Spike.

The stakeout went for _hours_. In spite of Cherry's warning, there was no sign of James and his dudes the whole time. The guards began to get antsy, and that was when mistakes happened. It helped not at all that Spike began to grouse and gripe about the wait. It was like he was doing all he could to earn a busted jaw. Finn was considering breaking discipline himself and going for a walk when matters came to a head all at once.

The hero of Ooo was down deep in a dark place when it started. One moment the streets were empty. The next, every building in the area disgorged candy-people by the dozens. A great, chaotic mass came streaming down the streets surrounding the mint, all carrying signs and shouting about corruption in the palace. Finn stared out the windows for a moment, completely stunned by the sight. _He's been planning this for a while,_ thought Finn. There had been no sign of a buildup because the gangs of rioters were already here! As the hero watched in disbelief, the surging mass of candy citizenry went flooding up to the gates of the mint. Somewhere in the mass was James!

There were thousands! They filled the streets in such numbers that it would have been impossible to reach the mint to save it. Thankfully Billy was there inside and the employees were not. Finn quickly grabbed a radio to listen in on the action as the guards in the mint moved out to meet the threat. Meanwhile, at the mint's main entrance, James had arrived to find a surprise waiting on him. The mutant candy-person was at the head of the pack as they rushed the entry, only to find the gates locked and barred. Something was wrong. The gates should be open for business. Where were the workers?

As James stared uneasily at the mint's main entrance, a lone figure came out, strapped with a sword and wearing a badge on his belt. Billy the human came strolling up to the gate, looking like he meant business. "Bill," the mutant greeted him. "James," Billy replied. The mutant opened with, "why are you here?" "You need to disperse these people," Billy replied. Stubbornly, James replied, "the money in there belongs to the people..." "Yeah, and as one of those _people_ , my share's just fine where it is," Billy retorted. The loon seemed taken aback by that hard statement. He stood there for a long while thinking his way through that.

Billy tried sweet-talking him, suggesting, "the park's open, James. Whyn't you take the fellas to the park? You can protest all you want." He could sense James pondering what to do. Calmly, Billy suggested, "just take your guys out of here. Give 'em a speech in the park… I'm sure they'd be happy to avoid conflict with the guards in the mint... Fear-Gas isn't fun for anybody." It had a distressing effect on candy-people, making their little hearts go all pitter-patter. In large enough doses, it would cause them to literally explode, so the guards had to be careful with it, but the threat of that meant that most riots didn't last very long.

As James pondered, Billy's radio chirped, letting him know someone wanted him. He willed whoever it was to go away. He was close. He almost had James ready to go now. The radio chirped again and again, and Billy was finally forced to answer. Backing away from the gate, he answered the radio with a growled, "yeah?" "What's going on," Finn asked? "I've got it, dad," Billy whispered. "Just wait." As he uttered those words, a fount of gore sprang out of James's chest, spraying the area around him with gore. Billy's mouth came open in shock as he dropped the radio.

And then the riot began.

Hundreds of miles away, Fionna lay on her back under the front of her truck, checking the axles. She'd seen a few alarming drops of fluid in the water in the cave and decided to investigate. The truck had taken a beating on their race across the land from the hotel, and Fionna was a little bit worried that she'd asked too much of it. It was still their primary escape route, and she wanted to make sure it was still capable of carrying them away. Bubba had been slowly building up a store of provisions, drying the food out and packaging it up as best he could to keep for a long time, and they had been packing the truck just in case. Just now, both boys were out, leaving the two girls in the cave.

Toast-face sat on a rock near the truck, watching as her sister-in-law worked underneath with muttered curses and lots of strange gyrations. It was _fascinating_ in its way. French Toast was absolutely fascinated by the little rituals of taking care of a conveyance. She'd had the chance to drive her mother's care a few times while working on her learner's permit, but shed never given a thought to how the thing actually ran! Of course there were other things on her mind. She didn't know very much about Bon's sister, and she was intensely curious.

"Hand me the crescent-wrench," Fionna said. Frenchie had been doing her best to learn what the tools were and what they did. Now, she struggled to remember which one was the crescent-wrench only to realize that Fionna– _Fi_ –had never asked for that one before. Making a guess, she bent and handed it to the older girl. "Nope," said the leggy blonde. "It's the one with the screw in it." "One with the screw...," murmured Frenchie. Grabbing what she thought was the right one, she put it in Fionna's hand, asking, "uh... is that... Is that it?" "Yeah," said Fi. "Thanks." It was the nicest Fionna had been to her would-be sister-in-law since they'd been on the run, and now Frenchie felt a little more comfortable trying to open up to the older girl.

"Uh... I...," stammered the breakfast person, "uh... what are you doing?" "Tuning the fuel rail," replied Fionna. After a moment, she said, "come here..." Frenchie stared at her feet. "C'mon," said Fionna. "It won't hurt you. It's not like that dress isn't ruined anyway." Frenchie finally realized what she meant. The blonde girl wanted her to get under the car too. "I-is it safe," asked the breakfast cutie? "I got 'er on jack-stands," Fionna replied. Which told Frenchie exactly nothing. She could only guess it was some kind of safety device. When her mother's car wasn't working, the Princess of the Breakfast Kingdom called a tow-truck. With a heavy sigh, French Toast lay down on the rough blanket beside her sister-in-law and crawled between the heavy wheels.

"You should know about this stuff," said Fionna. "M-my mother doesn't really approve of that," replied Frenchie. "Your mother's a goof," retorted Fionna. "Even Bonnie knows how to fix a truck, and she's the most prissy person I know." Frenchie glared at her, but Fionna said, "saved Bonnie's life. When those alien dudes had her prisoner, she used what she knew to kind of sabotage their stuff. And when they saw what she knew hot to do, their boss decided she was useful to them. Kept them from just offin' her when their ship went down." Frenchie opened her mouth and shut it again as she considered– _really_ considered–that cold logic. Bon often went into the wilderness alone or with friends, and, honestly, it was a fact of life that there were vast swatches of wilderness around the various kingdoms of Ooo. "Alright," said Frenchie. "Show me."

"This is the engine," Fionna began. "It's a six unit fusion motor with a battery boost system." And she began to tell her sister-in-law all about the engine in excited, enthusiastic tones. As Fionna talked, Frenchie watched her, wondering about her and find herself drawn to the older girl. Greatly daring, she interrupted Fi with a question, asking, "Fionna... Did you... did you and Bon ever..." Fionna's face whipped around, and she looked angry at first. Her face was red as one of the mushrooms from the kitchen. "No," muttered Fi. Fionna glared at her sister-in-law, then turned back to the engine. Turning back to Frenchie, she said, "his mother was always in the way. She'd told him that she would make him regret it if he ever did it with a girl without her permission..." Frenchie gasped. They hadn't exactly asked permission, and she feared what that would mean. What would happen when Princess Bonnibel found out?

"She _picked_ you," muttered Fionna. "You're safe. He wouldn't be railin' you if his mom didn't approve." It was French Toast's turn to blush. She was a little embarrassed by that. She'd been raised to save herself and never to even consider doing something like this with a boy. She just couldn't help it with Bon. With a sigh, Fi said, "he's cute and hunkie, toast-face. I'd have done it with him in a heartbeat before I knew..." Frenchie nodded. Then, "but you have Patrick now... He's quite cute. I'd... That is, if I wasn't with Bon..." Fionna blushed to her hair and glanced away. Turning to face her, Frenchie said, "he's in love with you! I can see it in his eyes! You've just got to reel him in! Oh, Fi, we can have a double-wedding! We could get married together!"

The pretty teen began to gush advice for the older girl, giving her ideas on how to woo Patrick and get him to commit. While Fionna tried to show toast-face how to work on a truck, Frenchie did her best to teach Fi all about how to seduce men and get them wrapped around her finger. It was a strange sort of exchange, with both girls learning a little from each other and slowly coming to understand each other. That was where Patrick and Bon found them, laying under Fionna's truck, getting their hands dirty on the wrenches, while Frenchie filled her sister-in-law's ears with ideas about winning a boyfriend.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43:

The kid didn't belong here in this. He was supposed to be in school. Finn had the sneaky feeling he'd played hooky to come to James's 'rally'. Now he was in danger. As the thug raised a bat to brain him, Finn rushed up, threw a block and bashed the poptart in the eye, dropping him. Grabbing the boy's arm, he levered the teen to his feet. The boy fought his way free of Finn's grip, shouting and cursing at him. "What the hell's wrong, man," the Guard-Captain retorted?! "You're him," said the kid. "You're the Man." An out of patience Finn growled, " _what_ man? What are you talking about?"

The hipster revealed to Finn how unhip he'd become by explaining, "you're like the voice of authority. I'm not suppose to trust what you say..." Finn considered that for a moment. Calmly he said, "well, as the voice of authority, I'm telling you to stay out here on this street instead of going in that dangerous building." "Fuck you, man," said the teen, as he sprinted past, headed for the apartment across the street. Rolling his eyes, Finn stepped out of the alley. The swirling melee was still going on up the street. On the other end, some of James's dudes were still milling around in dazed confusion. _What now,_ thought the Captain?

Making a snap decision, he headed down the street to where a remnant of James's dudes was wandering. Approaching a small group, he asked, "why aren't you guys rioting? Isn't that why you came?" The candy-people stared at him. One of their number, a female candy-corn with orange eyes, asked, "w-why would you want us to riot?!" The others began to ponder that too. Casually, Finn drew the Finn-Sword and began to clean it. "Y-you just want us to give you a reason to chop us to pieces with your magic sword," the young woman stammered! "Eee! He's going to kill us all!" The cry was taken up by all on the scene, and soon the pack of them had left the area, fleeing for their lives."

 _Another group down,_ thought Finn as he turned to deal with the idiots up the street. He'd been at it all morning, rounding up little clumps of these guys and sending them on their way–home for the peaceable and jail for the others. It was hot, dirty, and dangerous work. A lot of the more rowdy–James's closest friends–had needed their heads busted. Fortunately, most all of those were in jail or dead now.

Like James.

It was sort of hard to believe. James was dead. A dude with a dozen hearts was dead. Of course he'd been shot in a vital artery. All those hearts had pumped all that vital fluid on the ground through the hole in his bod. He'd been dead in just minutes. Finn had been left picking up the pieces.

It was a hit. Plain and simple. Cherry had forced his hand. Now Finn was beside himself with anger. He had set out not to do her bidding. Not this way. He'd found himself dragged down this path against his will, and it made him want to smash her. The only net positive? Spike was gone. Spike would no longer be around to reveal information about what was going on. Nor would she have James to distract him. Penny was still out there, but she was a force neither could control. She was as much a threat to Cherry as Finn's family. It was pretty much down to just the two of them. Those were odds he could manage.

Strolling up the street, Finn walked past the group of rowdies, looking lost and puzzled. One of the brawlers–an ice-cream sandwich wearing a Banana-Guard helmet–asked, "what? You're just gonna' walk by?" Finn shrugged, showing off the blood-stained hands that had killed Spike. "Was actually trying to decide how I should kill you all for those two guards," said Finn. "Thought about chopping off your heads with my super-cool sword here..." He stroked the hilt of the Finn-sword for emphasis. "Or," said he, "I could just snap your necks like twigs..." The six toughs stared. Calmly, Finn said, "I'm supposed to take you to the paddy-wagon on 9th, but I'm kinda' thinkin' of getting home early..." It took a moment. Whether it was the absurdity of that lone man–the last human–standing there like that threatening them so subtly, or the fierce reputation Finn had–everyone knew he'd _changed_ during the dust-up with the aliens–none of the thugs knew what to do. At least they didn't until he drew that sword and began polishing it.

The pack of them disappeared in unseemly haste–running towards 9th St. He thought some would keep running until they were drinking butterscotch. Finn called for some help for his wounded guards. They were badly injured but alive. Most of James's dudes were in this for money and a chance to raise hell. Very few wanted the consequences of a real rebellion. While he waited for the ambulance, he called his boy.

It took a while for Billy to answer, worrying him more than a little. When he finally picked up, he sounded breathless as he answered with, "go." "You ok, Bill," Finn asked? "Yeah, dad," replied the younger man. After a pause he asked, "you ok, dad?" Finn replied, "I'm good, Bill. Is everything secure where you are?" Billy said, "we're hangin' in, dad. The rioters have left." Finn chuckled, "yeah. Got them cleared out. I think you can come out. If you've got wounded, I can get ambulances to you..." Billy sighed, "ten hurt. Just one hurt bad. You?" With a sigh, Finn said, "got a lot of guys hurt. Spike's dead." Billy muttered curses.

When he was calm again, the younger man said, "sorry, dad. I-I don't know how this happened. I had the big mook ready to shove off. Then somebody just offs him..." "I know, Bill," said Finn. "I had guys looking, but we lost him." That started another bout of swearing. Finn said, "we'll find him, Bill. We'll find out who started this." The younger man subsided, and Finn moved on. "Son," he said, "I want you to know how _proud_ I am of you. I love you, Bill, and I'm proud of everything you do." Bill was silent for a while. Taking a big chance, he asked, "are you and moms ever going to talk about what's going on?" He sounded a lot like Finn felt when Bonnie dumped on him. "Yeah, Bill," Finn promised. "Soon. I... When the time's right', ok?" Billy was content. "I'm'a get my guys out," he said. "Get your guys out," said Finn, "then go home and get some rest." Billy swore that he would, just before hanging up.

Finn put his phone away and started the job of rounding up the rest of the guards from the street. It was a job that was to take much of the rest of the day. In the chaos of the riot, they had lost complete control of the teams of Banana Guards. They'd had guys scattered all over that end of town as the riot got bigger and bigger, threatening to spill out and engulf the entirety of the city. Finn had ended up calling more and more of his guys in, leaving much of the rest of the town wide open. It was only a miracle that things hadn't escalated in the rest of the city as well.

They had the town under control again. They had the rioters off the street. With James gone, there'd be nobody to stir them up again, so Finn wasn't even going to bother hunting them down and trying to arrest them. He was going to let the whole thing die down if they let it. Of course there was still the matter of James. Finn would have to get over to his mother's place to let her know what happened to the loon. She deserved that. In the now, he got into the unmarked van he and Spike had arrived in and started the drive 'home'. Cherry was waiting on him.

As he drove, his mind went back to the ugly moment where Spike had met his end. He'd been wondering how he was going to do it. He'd intended to lure Spike to the old prison. He had Shoko's warrant against the fat candy-person. He had thought of taking Spike into the prison and doing the ugly deed there with Star as the official witness. Then the riots started. Cherry's hitter had whacked James and sent the town spiraling out of control. In the chaos, Spike had gotten separated from Finn and ended up all alone, hiding in an alley while James's dudes ran amok. Finn had found him there, hiding behind a dumpster, looking like a chicken.

It had sort of hit the Captain of the Guard then. Spike was the mole. He'd passed Cherry vital information. He'd steered the Guard's few competent detectives away from her operations. For nothing more than booze and drugs. He'd sold himself to satisfy his _thirst_. If all of that wasn't bad enough, all the spies that Star had identified in the palace were people Spike had suggested to Finn. Spike had been responsible for bringing in the guys who put Bonnie's life in danger. As bad as Star's mistakes were–as bad as the things Junior had done were–Spike was the guy who had the most power to put a stop to this and had done the most to make things worse.

Finn had wracked his brain for hours during the stakeout, searching for signs that Spike had tried to slip him information–to make him aware in any way possible–of what Cherry was up to. He couldn't think of a single thing. Spike was more likely to be seen telling a joke than he was to be passing clever hints to his boss. In the end, Finn hadn't had much trouble killing Spike, but it gave him little real peace. Cherry still had him by the collar, and he was still ambivalent about hurting her, bouncing from a real desire to wring her neck to a shocking hunger to possess her for himself.

 _We need to bring this to an end,_ he thought, as he pulled up to RBG's house. Jumping out, carrying the bottle of wine she'd suggested he bring, Finn headed up the walkway. His evil girlfriend (tm) would be waiting inside for him, doing a little work in her home office. They were getting close. After this, he _would_ send Star into the gangster's secret bank to dig up what she could. Cherry had accidentally gotten rid of the one asset Finn had really feared. The mole was gone. As long as he didn't go blabbing things to Billy, he had some degree of secrecy now.

Unlocking the door, he called out to Cherry, announcing that he was _home_. The evil witch replied, "back here, honey." Finn put the bottle of wine on the kitchen table and headed back into the back of the house. The office had once been Root Beer Guy's place to work on his novel–at least before Cherry had taken it over for her lawyer biz. In the years that RBG had been gone, the evil woman had added a trio of heavy-duty safes and filing cabinets. There were dangerous things in the safes. He'd been tempted to try cracking one open, but he hadn't dared. Not yet anyway.

He found the woman herself seated at the desk, working her way through a stack of papers. A glance told Finn that a lot of it was invoices and receipts for food and supplies, which left him puzzled. Rising, she stood on her toes, slipped her arms around his neck, and kissed him. "Mmm," she sighed. "Good to have you back." Finn gave her a sweet smile. "You did good today, honey," she said. "I'm sorry I had to do that to you." Finn frowned. Nodding, she said, "I know James was a friend, Finn. Honestly, though, you were right. The world _can't_ support billions of candy-people cloning themselves just for the fun of it. I knew that going in, but I always thought he could be convinced to change course."

It took all Finn's will to control himself. Laying her head against his chest, she said, "I knew you wouldn't really want to kill him, but he had to go, Finn. I... took the liberty of taking care of it." She made it sound like she'd put their sick cat to sleep or something. "He didn't suffer," rumbled Finn. "He went fast." Stepping back, she asked, "and Spike? You killed him, yes?" Finn lost all bearing this time. She knew. From her expression, she _expected_ it. Brushing her fingers through his hair, she said, "he was a fucking traitor, Finn. He was no damned good. He was no good to either of us. He was taking pay-offs before you ever hired him. He screwed me a few times too. We're both better off with him out of the picture. You know I'm right about that." Face gone hot, Finn nodded. So who else did she have in the Guards? She didn't need or want Spike anymore, so who else did she have? Billy? Was Junior working on Billy?

"I was angry at him," Finn admitted. "I know, honey," she said. "You're a _man_ , Finn. Men get angry when others try to screw them over. It's ok." She made it sound so _commonplace_. "You wanted me to see that document," he murmured. Cherry nodded. "It was time for you to know," said she. "I needed to see how you handled it. I... It was a test, honey. I needed to test you. I don't like doing that. You haven't disappointed me yet, but we're moving into a new phase in our relationship. I needed to see your commitment." "What did you think I'd do," he asked? He had to know where things stood. Cherry shrugged, but her eyes held hints of humor.

"To tell the truth," chuckled the gangster, "I expected rebellion..." Finn slipped his arms around her, whispering, "oh?" Leaning in against him, she said, "I expected you'd be doing everything in your power to get out of this–to save Bonnie Bubblegum and her kids..." But obviously she believed he hadn't. Knowing that he needed her to keep on believing that, Finn kissed her, teasing her tongue with his. "Mmmm," moaned his evil girlfriend, as she melted into his embrace. "Did you enjoy killing him?" "Yeah," he replied. That wasn't a lie. He'd been angry, and a lot of him had enjoyed killing Spike. "Good," she cooed. "I'm pleased that I could give you that." Stepping back, she beckoned him over to her desk and the papers spread out there.

"I've been making steady inroads since I got rid of the last competition in the Candy Kingdom," said she. "I've got sources of food from a half-dozen kingdoms. I've just got a few problems in the way." "Oh," asked the hero? With a sad sigh, Cherry said, "Bonnibel left a lot of problems, Finn. She's been lieing for months–maybe _years_ about the state of our food-supply..." Finn frowned. He'd gone on a quest with Marcy to retrieve the Spoon of Plenty. "The Spoon crapped out earlier this year, babe," replied Cherry. "She couldn't get it working again, and she's been hiding it all this time." She knew because one of the Spoon's operators frequented one of her gambling dens. Finn's jaw came unhinged again. That explained all the late nights and the fact that he couldn't reach Bonnie! She'd been working on the Spoon!

The hero began to mutter curses. Fucking Bonnie! Hiding things. _Again_! It was like she was incapable of being straight with anybody. He hardly understood how Marcy put up with her for hundreds of years. Right now, he wanted to wring Bonnie's neck _himself_! If he didn't know how thoroughly _evil_ Cherry was, he'd have just given her the Kingdom on the spot! She couldn't do a whole lot worse than somebody who'd put the whole country at risk of starving like this. Cherry was doing something terrible, but she was doing it for a cause that, strangely enough, was actually noble.

Cherry was still speaking. Softly, she said, "we need every penny that comes in from the drug-trade, Finn. I... Honey, I know it goes against what you stand for, but it's... This has been keeping the kingdom from starving for months, and the Sleemo brothers are trying to muscle in. Would you...?" He had an ugly choice. Protect Cherry's evil business–and protect the Candy Kingdom's food supply–or let it fail and let Bonnie's peeps starve. And maybe his own family too. "Where," he asked? Brushing his hand with hers, Cherry said, "I promise I won't ask this of you very often, honey. Ok?" Finn nodded. "Let's go have dinner, babe," she said. "We can talk about this in the morning."

Meanwhile, Fionna, Patrick, Bon, and Frenchie had just returned from a short walk in the forest after dinner. It had been quite the day. Fionna and Frenchie had cooked up dinner–at least _Frenchie_ had. Fi had done her best to help, but Frenchie knew from things Bon said that the buxom blonde was pretty awful at cooking. Frenchie did her best to _teach_ while she worked, focusing on simple things the older girl could manage. Fionna did improve, though in the end she mostly focused on helping to serve up supper.

That was an area that the young princess had been particularly focused on while she and Fi chatted about boyfriends. Dudes wanted girls who were into them. Frenchie had given her sister-in-law all kinds of ideas about showing Patrick attention and affection. Fionna had been at Patrick's beck and call all through dinner, getting up to get him whatever he needed and spending most of her time talking to him. And it seemed to be working. The two had had a wide-ranging discussion about future plans and ideas which led into hobbies and other things. Frenchie had kept Bon's mouth shut much of the way through. She'd gotten him alone and _explained_ things. Because he loved Fi, he'd been happy to agree to help her, and they had kept the conversation focused on Patrick and Fionna the whole time. Now, with the evening over, Frenchie wanted to give the pair some time alone.

Taking Bon's hand, the breakfast person announced, "well... I think I'd like to have a little time alone with my beloved..." Bon gave Patrick a smile and said, "well... I suppose that leaves you two with the first watch." Patrick frowned at Bubba's retreating back. That was odd. They'd never really talked about watches. Fionna had spread tripwires and traps through most of the castle. There wasn't a single door the Thief King's dudes could come through without hurting themselves.

As he watched the two royals head into their lair, Fionna asked, "would you mind staying out here a while, Patrick? I kinda' want to look at the moon. And the air's fresher besides..." Patrick nodded. After weeks of being on the run, hiding, and staying indoors, he was a little stir-crazy himself. He was all for staying outside for a while. The pair moved to the small clear space near the entry of the cave and stood a while, staring up at the sky. It was beautiful, almost-full moon, and it seemed to hang so low in the sky you could almost touch it. The scent of the late-summer flowers around them and the sound of crickets in the bushes had him honestly feeling a little of the romance of the moment. He was here with a beautiful girl. He was here with one of the most beautiful girls on the planet.

He felt like a fool because he sooo wanted to take Fi's hand. He wanted to hold her hand–to finally kiss her. He knew he didn't dare, though. Fi was a hot girl, and she probably had a thousand Alpha Dudes who'd be right there to snatch her away from him. "It's a pretty night," murmured Fionna. "Yeah," he sighed. It wasn't as pretty as she was, though. "Do you guys get to see nights like this," Fi asked? Pat frowned. He wasn't sure what she meant. "Mom says that the city-lights block out the stars," said Fi. Blushing, Patrick admitted, "yeah, Fi. They do. I... The most stars I ever really saw were when I was sleepin' over at the treehouse." Which was rare enough when he'd gotten older. His mother wanted him studying and working hard.

"Well, you're welcome to come visit me anytime you want, Pat," murmured Fionna. "You're a college-dude now! Your mom can't make you stay home all the time." Patrick chuckled. Fionna didn't know his mom! Betty Petrikov never screamed at him. She never shouted. She didn't have to. She'd give him that unhappy/disappointed look, and he'd feel three-inches tall. He was the quintessential Beta-Dude–controlled by his mom.

While they had chatted, Fionna drifted closer, slowly closing the gap between them, edging into his space. Now, as Patrick made that awful comment, Fionna turned to him–face inches from his–and said, "you're not that bad, Pat. I... I've seen you stand up. Y-you're like my dad. You know what's right and wrong, and you love your mom." Her eyes were so beautiful in the moonlight, and he wanted to kiss her so bad. She was everything he wanted, and he found himself leaning towards her.

So he stopped.

Patrick stopped right where he was. Then, as Fionna stared at him in surprise and pain, he actually stepped back. The wounded look she gave him cut him to the core, and he actually winced. "I'm sorry, Fi," murmured the wizard. "I... I'm a _loser_ , and I know I'd never be able to hold onto an awesome girl like you..." Fi shot back, "you're a dirty _coward_! You won't even _try_!" Nodding, Patrick agreed, "I'm scared, Fi. I'm scared I'll give in to those feelings and then... then somebody better will come along. That you'll dump me for somebody you like more."

Shaking her head, Fionna said, "don't you blame me for this, Patrick! You say you care! You say you want me! You _dreamed_ about me! Then you tell me you're afraid I'll like somebody else?!" Patrick flinched with every word. Fionna got in his face and said, "I'm here with _you_ , Patrick! I'm not here with some other dude. I'm here with you, but I guess you don't really want me after all..." Fi turned to go, and he could feel his heart breaking. She was going to move on. The nasty, miserable piece of himself that feared she'd leave rejoiced. Let it be _now_! Let it happen now and be done with. The little spark of hope guttering like a candle in a windstorm cried out.

Fionna felt Patrick grab her by the shoulder. Almost she kept going. Almost she punched him. Instead of either of those two ugly reactions, she made herself stop. Patrick knew he could still lose her. In spite of the fear inside him, he made himself close the gap. One step. Two steps. Then he had his arms around her. "I-I'm sorry, Fi," he whispered. "I'm an idiot, and I still don't deserve you..." For a long time nothing got said. They just stood there, he holding her gingerly–like she might break. Fionna soon made it clear that she wanted commitment, as she coolly asked, "is that all you plan to do, Patrick?"

Patrick blushed to his hair. Still, he pressed his face into her hair and breathed her scent. Softly, he said, "shit, Fi, I wasn't dreamin' about you... I... I was jerkin' it... I was jerkin' it, while I was thinking about railing you." Her face went red, but she didn't pull away. It wasn't exactly romantic, but it was a start. "Glob, Fi, you're so pretty, I... I can't help it. Just to look at you, and my dong gets so hard, I can hardly walk..." Blushing a little, he admitted to his pecker getting hard looking at her while she was trying to get through the grating at the hotel.

"When I had my arms around you... trying to take the sword from you...," he whispered. "I wanted to touch you... To rub your boobies... and get you hot... I-I wanted to touch you all over and make you get off." Fionna licked her lips. That was just what she wanted to hear. "Then why don't you," she murmured. "I-I'm here. I wouldn't stop you." "I'd be afraid of gettin' you preggers, Fi," he rumbled. "I'm not ready to be a dad." "My stepmom took me down to the clinic and had Dr. P put me on the pill," said Fi with a sigh. Her birthmom had had a fit. Until Emeraude had told her about catching Fionna playing with herself in her room. "Y-you play with yourself," gobbled Patrick? Blushing, Fi said, "girls like it too, dummy. Now. You don't have any excuses..."

No. He didn't.

Patrick brought his hands up. They were shaking as he began to stroke her heavy boobies. He ran his hands all over them, causing soft sighs to escape her lips. He was surprised to find the nips already hard, and he realized that Fi had gotten a little hot already from all the talk. He'd thought of touching them so many times, and he was finally doing it. There seemed little point in hesitating. Sliding his hands down, he slipped them up under her shirt, sliding her top up over the big mounds. Her skin was amazing. It was absolutely flawless!

Hefting those massive boulders, Patrick opined, "Glob, these are fucking huge..." Blushing, Fionna murmured, "whaddya' expect?! Have you seen my mom?! Geez!" In point of fact, he _had_ seen her mom. Her boyfriend flicked the hard nips with his fingertips, sending a thrill of lust up her spine. As he ran his hands over the creamy flesh, he whispered, "I like 'em... In fact... I wanna' fuck 'em..." Fionna frowned in puzzlement. Between her lack of experience and the distraction of feeling him play with her boobies, she was having trouble understanding what he meant. Softly she moaned, "you can't fuck my knobs! There's no hole there..." Spinning her around, he said, "I'll show you."

He made her get down on her knees. Then he pulled out his wang. Fionna licked her lips at the sight. It was a lot different than seeing it on some boring presentation in Bio-Class at school. "Ok," said Patrick, as he spit in his hand and rubbed it up and down his shaft. "Let me put it between your boobies, Fi..." She engulfed his meat in her massive cleavage, and Pat began to slid his thick rod back and forth against her creamy skin. It felt... _strange_. It was an odd feeling, but after having him play with her big knobs, she actually kinda' liked it. "Mmm," moaned Patrick. He'd fantasized about doing this for more than a year–really since he'd become old enough to jerk off. He'd heard his mom call it 'Swedish', and he knew his dad loved it.

Fionna quickly got the idea, and she pressed her big knockers forward as Patrick slid forward to meet her. And then, when his knob popped out of her cleavage, she would actually lick it. "Oh, shit, Fi," growled Patrick. That was nasty/awesome. He began to go faster and faster, sliding his hard dick in and out of her cleavage over and over as he savored the feel of her soft, warm flesh until finally he lost it. With a groan of sweet release, he shot his load all over her beautiful face and heavy boobies.

"Mmm," sighed Patrick as he came down from his high. Strange as it seemed, Fionna, kneeling there with his goo all over her tits and chin, was hotter than the Night-O-Sphere. It didn't take much to have his dong hard all over again. At the same time, he wanted to give her something nice too. "My turn," said he, as he pushed her back on her back. "Oof," gasped Fionna, as she bumped her head. But then Patrick was pulling her panties down, and she thought that, at last, he would do her.

She was a little scared, to be honest. This was her first time. She knew it would hurt a little, and though she was on the pill, she was afraid of getting knocked up. Still, when Patrick eased her legs apart, she didn't resist. She closed her eyes and waited for him to stick her, but instead, she got the shock of her young life. Patrick, who'd been eyeing the wet spot in her panties and sniffing her musk, got down on his belly between those pale, creamy thighs, pressed his mouth into her hot gash, and started licking. He did it just like he'd seen it on one of his dad's stash of old videos from before the war. He ran his tongue up and down her hot crack, and sucked on her hot button. "Aaaaggh," wailed Fionna, as her hips jumped, bumping her mound into his nose. "Ouch," muttered the young wizard. But he went right back to what he was doing.

Fionna had never felt anything like that. She hadn't even known that guys would do that! It was driving her crazy! As Patrick licked and sucked on her hot snatch, Fionna found herself going higher and higher. Her hips started to bump-and-grind against his mouth, and the fingers of her left hand tangled in his hair. At the same time, she found herself playing with her own boobies with her free hand as Patrick ate her out.

Hot cries of passion escaped her lips as he made her orgasm again and again. Her head thrashed from side to side, and she was pulling frantically on his hair, hurting his scalp a little. He didn't mind. He was enjoying this. He liked the way she tasted. His buddies were sure that it wasn't something a real stud would be caught doing, but Patrick knew he was a Beta-dude. So why not? Finally, his girl let out a shriek that made his hair stand on end. Her body went rigid, and her hand gripped his hair hard enough that she came close to pulling some of it out. And then her whole body went limp.

The pretty blonde lay there with her eyes closed, panting like crazy. It was exactly what she'd been wanting to do for so long–ever since the night she'd watched her father get it on with her mom. Much as she griped, Finn the Human and his beautiful bride, Simone, were hardly likely to put on a show in front of their kids. They did their best to keep their fun in the bedroom private. Fionna had hidden in their closet out of curiosity, and she'd ended up hiding their most of the night until they finally went to sleep. Ever since that night, she'd been _into_ sex, going from curiosity to a deep _hunger_. And now Pat was finally satisfying her hunger.

Fionna slowly came down from her high to find Patrick kneeling over her. Opening her eyes, she gasped in surprise. His face–his lips–were inches from hers. As he locked his lips to hers, he jammed his fat pipe into her gash. The sexy blonde squeaked. It was over so fast, she had no time for anything else. And then she was shrieking as that dick began to fill her. As Patrick slowly eased his meat into her slippery gash, the pretty blonde grabbed his ass and started pulling on it. It was so fucking good! It was driving her crazy, and he'd only put half inside her.

She wasn't the only one going crazy. Patrick was close to shooting off! For a horny teenager, this was heaven! His hand didn't feel anything like this, and he could see why guys got addicted to pussy. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to turn Fi down again, no matter what she wanted. The sexpot wrapped her long legs around his waist, pulling him into her at the same time that strong back of hers whipped those broad hips upwards to meet his. It was crazy, and between the girl-goo that was drooling out of her snatch in a steady stream and the fact that the pair were trying to fuck each other silly, his rod was buried to the hilt in just a few strokes.

Breaking that kiss, Fionna begged him, "oh, baby! Oh, baby, do me like that..." Patrick was happy to oblige. He caressed those big boobies and licked them and sucked on the thick nips. He ran his hands all over those sexy broad hips, and he kissed those sweet lips, seeming not to mind at all that he got his own goo on his face. "Uhh. Uhhh... Oh, Paaaat," howled Fi! He could feel her hot gash squeeze him, and that made him shoot off. "Ooooooh," howled the young wizard as he shot all the goo he thought he would ever have into her hot snatch.

The two lay there a moment, basking in the afterglow. After a few minutes, Patrick rolled on his side, drew his girl to him and whispered, "Fi, I'm sorry I've been a jerk to you..." "Apologize to me in our bedroom," said Fi, as she sat up. Patrick frowned at her. Grabbing his arm, she got up and headed for the cave. "If I know those two," said Fi, "Bon's fuckin' the shit out of her. Well... We can make some noise too." The thought of that–sort of having sex with his girl where somebody else could hear–had Pat excited all over again, and she didn't have to work to have him following her back to their makeshift rooms in the grand hall.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44:

The warehouse was a blocks-long maze that had been here for centuries before Star had been born. Its construction–crumbling concrete and iron–had been in fashion back before the Mushroom Wars, and the warehouse itself had been repurposed and added onto many times over the centuries. It had been a fortress for long years–a lonely outpost for the Warrior Kingdom to spy on the Candy Kingdom. In more recent times, as the Candy Kingdom expanded to occupy the no-man's-land between itself and the surrounding kingdoms, the place had taken on a newer, more sinister role.

The wagon Star rode was one of a number of wagons carrying illicit _receipts_ to the heavily overbuilt fortress from all over the Candy Kingdom and even from beyond. Indeed, with Cherry Cream Soda expanding rapidly–taking over outfits from neighboring lands–the warehouse was seeing more business than it ever had before, which somewhat contributed to the mood of the very nervous guards just now. The warehouse was supposed to be storing and shifting furniture and dry-goods. If the crowned heads of Ooo knew what really went on here, the place could expect to get raided in short order. The guards had to be very careful of how obvious they were in patrolling the place. They had to be careful of being seen with lots and lots of weapons, limiting the men walking sentry around the walls to clubs and swords for the most part.

At the same time, there were a lot of hoods in Ooo's underworld who _dreamed_ of hitting this place. They dreamed of storming the bastions, busting down the door, and making off with tens of thousands in gold coins. A successful robbery would leave you set for life! Others dreamed of making it into the secret vaults buried down deep under the building. There were fabulous riches down there–art objects and artifacts from the distant past, jostling for space with secrets that would make men rich and end men's lives. The guards were twitchy with terror over the risk of a robbery. The heads of Ooo's underworld syndicates had been feuding lately, and though the bank was nominally neutral, the knowledge in the secret lock-boxes inside the walls could be a powerful advantage for someone willing to dare the wrath of the bank's owner.

Star dared.

For her family, she would dare just about anything. She was going to dare to rob the Grand Vault of the Mafia Princess, risking life and limb just going through the door and putting herself at great risk of earning a green-light. Fortunately, she had some willing patsies to take some of the heat from her.

Tolliver was a thug out of Breakfast Kingdom. He'd spent time in the dungeons there for breaking into Toast Princess's home and rifling through her drawers, looking for valuables to sell. Of course, the princess wasn't happy to find someone pawing her underpants, and she'd had Tolliver put in the darkest hole they could find. He'd languished there for years until he escaped. Balt was a thug out of Warrior Kingdom. He was the muscle–brought along to handle the guards who'd be walking sentry inside. Balt had a neat trick up his sleeve. When he'd worked himself into a frenzy, no amount of pain mattered to him. You could chop off his nards, and he'd keep coming. Of course, he didn't exactly listen to friends then either. It mattered little to Star. He was expendable. They all were.

Next on the list was The Brain. Exiled from the Candy Kingdom's Science Academy by the hand of Bonnibel Bubblegum herself, he was the smartest person on the wagon, and his job was to silence the alarms and keep reinforcements from coming. Gelf was their safe-cracker, and he would have the job of getting Star into the vault that belonged to Cherry's outfit. She'd promised him whatever he could steal from the vaults–and maybe a little pussy if he did a good job. In reality, all he was really looking at was hard time in the hell that was the old jail. If he survived this, that's where he would find himself. She was getting better at lieing. She was getting better and better at it every day–maybe even to the point where she would finally have fooled her mother.

And she absolutely hated it.

Every lie she told made her feel dirtier than before. She'd never really understood her mother until now. Emeraude Mertens was moody, angry, and hostile on her good days. She did her best. All the kids knew she was trying as hard as she could to be a good mom. She did all she could to show them love and affection, but something was _broken_ inside her. And now Star was beginning to see what was wrong with the older woman. She'd been down this road already. She'd followed it all the way to the end and barely gotten off it before the crash. Now Star knew what was waiting on her, and she wanted no part of it. _So please, Glob,_ thought Star. _Please let there be something we can use in those vaults, because I want off this road. I don't want to do this anymore._

The guard at the gate stared and licked his lips at the sight of the scantily clad nymph girl on the wagon seat. Most of the action was over in the capitol city, but there were a few girls around here. He eyed the pretty girl, wondering how old she was. He would have gladly had a taste of those nice knobs and introduced her to his johnson. The pretty girl blushed and smiled at him in a friendly way. So distracted was he, that he scarcely paid any attention to the guy on the seat, who was _not_ a regular delivery driver. Nor did he pay attention to his partner at the other end of the wagon, who was doing a rather cursory inspection of the contents.

The other guard quickly glanced over the bags of cash in the back of the wagon, hefting a couple to hear the jingle. He always liked to hear the coins jingle, even if he couldn't touch a cent. The cash had come out of a count-house on the far east side, and there were three dead gangsters who'd given up the ghost for Star to lay hands on it. The guard didn't know that. He was too busy being torn between the coin and the sight–and smell–of that little ho sitting on the wagon seat. Done with his cursory inspection, the guard turned and headed back to the front. No sooner had the second guard appeared, than the other gave the drover the permission to move, disappointing his pal.

Gelf whipped the wagon into motion, rolling through the gates and taking the wood-nymph fuck-toy with him. The guards weren't the only ones who wanted to bang the little honey next to him. It was hard to believe she was just sixteen. He was looking forward to collecting his reward when this was all over. He didn't know why she wanted to break into one of the vaults. Honestly, he didn't really care. He wanted to score some cash, get out of here, and go for a ride on that hot little body of hers.

As they rolled down the darkened passage towards the intake room, several of the _bags_ piled off the back of the wagon. The illusions covering them slipped away, and the little group quickly moved to one of the many old doors that lined the passage. Tolliver got out his tools and went to work, quickly unlocking that door to let them inside. The wagon rolled on and out into the big room where the deliverymen dropped the cash. Mafia Princess had a staff on hand here to count the receipts, log who they belonged too, and stash them in the appropriate place in the endless vaults of the warehouse.

Taking one look at Gelf, the lead accountant asked, "where's Sal?" Sal was on his way to room temperature in the basement of Blanco's pub. Gelf replied, "Sal's been replaced. Somethin' about missing money..." The accountant frowned. Gelf jumped down, announcing, "don't make me no nevermind. I got told t'bring today's money here..." The accountant sent several of his minions–the fellows who'd been industriously checking out the little hottie on the wagon-bench–around back to grab the bags. The disappointed trio immediately began pulling bags and noting the weight and number. "Who's the goil," asked the accountant? "Tonight's fun," chuckled Gelf. Dropping his voice to a subdued tone, the rogue explained, "her mammy rented her out t'me. Fellas are gonna' bust that pussy out..." He winked at the accountant, who blushed to his hair. "Sixteen," said Gelf. "Just this side of legal. You want some? You could join us..."

Frowning, the accountant muttered, "I'm stuck here all night..." Grinning, Gelf said, "well... maybe I'd let you take her in the back there..." The mob accountant looked up with a sickeningly hopeful look on his face. As the safe-cracker looked on, the accountant thought long and hard about that. It was a Thursday. Everything was quiet on a Thursday. The stiffs came in to lose their paychecks on Friday and Saturday. It would only take him a couple of hours to count this man's receipts. "H-how much," asked the accountant? "Well, ten of us paid in," said Gelf. "Figure you'd be an eleventh share. Call it five." "Done," said the accountant. Though, honestly, it might have been fun to watch the others gang-rape the little toy.

Gelf signaled the little honey on the wagon to get down. She came slinking over, her hips moving sensually in her skimpy panties. She had unusual yellow hair and hypnotic blue-green eyes. The older man couldn't really help wanting to fuck her rotten. Taking her by the arm, he steered her towards the back room. The minute the door had shut, Star leveled the molester with a force-bolt, flattening him in front of the doorway. Outside, Gelf was grinning at the other guys, who clearly wanted some of what their boss was having. At the sound of a girl's scream, Gelf said, "five coins each, man. You can be rough as you want, long as I get some myself..." The three suckers quickly paid up. Then the race was on, as they rushed for the accountant's office, with one loser trying to unfasten his pants and run at the same time.

They found a hostile wizard standing over their boss's comatose body. The three quickly joined him, getting flattened in the doorway. Gelf came in, carrying Star's bag and dragging the guy who'd tried to take his pants off on the run. "Wait outside a minute," rumbled the wizard as she opened the bag. "Why," he asked? "Gonna' see it later tonight anyway..." Star glared at the greedy asshole. She was tempted to hit him with her mother's favorite threat–'wanna die?' Instead, she drew out her uniform and working gear. As the safe-cracker watched, licking his lips and surreptitiously stroking his fat dong, she wriggled into her night-dark outfit, drew the cloak and mask up over her face, and headed for the door. "C'mon," said she. "Work first. Pussy later."

The thief followed that wiggling little cupcake ass out the door and past the wagon. The wizard had said that the security guards did their jobs from a room on the first floor above the warehouse levels. They were out of reach and still dangerous. Fortunately, she had countermeasures for them. With her safe-cracker in tow, the wizard went down a side corridor and into the darkness there. Stopping at a door, she said, "protect your eyes." This was the closest access door to the accountant's office, and she sent a bolt of lightning into the locking mechanism, fusing it shut. They had three more ways onto this level, but it would take them a while to back-track.

Moving on, Star led him down to another doorway. This one opened as they approached, disgorging two of the other three members of the team. Tolliver asked, "did you get his keys?" "Yup," laughed Gelf. "Piece of cake." He nodded at the wood-nymph and opined, "guys sure do lose their minds for pussy." He had no idea. Star almost laughed at the irony. "C'mon," said Tolliver. "I got the accessway down open." "Balt," said Star. "Guard the door. It'll take them a while to get here, but they will." And they'd be bringing dart-rifles and pistols instead of the clubs and swords the berserker was expecting, but she didn't tell him that.

Tolliver led the way down the stairs to the first underground level. On the landing outside the door, they found the Brain. He had one of his gadgets plugged into the security system's wiring. The caustic candy-person started off with, "I cut off the guards outside. They won't be able to get in. I also cut off the silent alarms. Nobody in the upstairs will know what's going on until somebody walks up there to tell them." And it would take the confused guards a while to figure that out. "Alright," said Star. "Let's do this."

She led the way down, down, down into the bowels of the earth. A long eight floors down to the bottommost level of the complex. Nobody really knew what these long-lost floors of this long-lost building had been. Right now they were storage vaults for secrets that really dangerous people had paid big money to keep hidden. Along the way, Tolliver split off for his chance at the cash. Then, after scrambling the last of the security systems blocking them from the bottom level, the Brain also went his way.

They all had orders to be back up at the exit in twenty minutes. Theoretically, they were going out just like they'd gone in. But Balt would be dead, and there would be dozens of guards lined up against them. It didn't really matter how many guards were kept topside. They were so heavily armed, it would have taken an army to come in here. Star kept on going with her would-be boyfriend at her side. He wanted to tempt her. He tried to tell her how he could keep her in jewels with his mad skills as a safe-cracker. The two of them could do a lot of damage–maybe take it as far as Engagement Ring Kingdom and try for jewels there.

Star pretended to listen, even as she worked her way through what she needed to do here. It took five minutes for a humanoid like Balt to bleed out, even if hit in the heart or some other vital organ. They would take a while to score a killing blow, though. The berserker was terrifying–bigger than big and twice as ugly. That bought her maybe fifteen minutes before Balt got blown away. They'd take their time working their way down, and they'd run into Tolliver first. He'd get caught up in the feel of coins in his hands the way he had in Breakfast Kingdom. And he'd get snatched or dead. Eight minutes, maybe?

The Brain would try his electronic trickery on them. He'd buy the most time of all by using their own stuff against them. She estimated that it would maybe take another fifteen or twenty minutes before his own arrogance got the better of him. Then they'd be headed down here. She had maybe forty-minutes tops, and a fair bit of that was already gone. _Sure hope this idiot's as good as he says,_ she thought. They were here. It was time to get busy.

Gelf kept up a steady chatter as he worked his magic on Cherry Cream Soda's personal vault. He spent half his time speculating on all the cash that must be inside and the other half on how Star liked to get it. He'd heard that wood-nymph pussy tasted like hot maple syrup, and he really wanted to find out if it was true. Star mostly ignored him. She was focused on the inevitable. Balt would be dead by now. The guards would be on their way down.

The safe-cracker did his best, but it was tough going. Cherry was a very wealthy woman without her criminal assets. On top of that, she had a powerful criminal enterprise that was making money hand-over-fist and a vested interest in seeing that nothing in that vault ever saw the light of day. Of course she'd have top-notch security. "Haven't got all night," rumbled Star. "At this rate you'll never get laid." The master thief muttered curses. Finally, though, just when Star was considering seeing if a spell-arrow would do the trick, he managed to crack the code. The door swung open on a room full of paper.

Star didn't stand on ceremony. She moved right in and began rifling through documents. Gelf stood there staring–alternating between her back and the boxes of paper around them. It didn't make sense. It didn't make sense that there was so much security around boxes of papers. "Secrets are money," rumbled the wizard. "This woman's got some of the most dangerous secrets of all."

Gelf goggled at her. And then it hit him. "You knew there was no cash in here," said he. Star shrugged by way of answer. She was closing in on what she needed. "I want in," growled the angry safe-cracker! "Your money's out there." He shook his head. Star wasn't the only one counting minutes and chances. "You know we ain't got time for that," snarled the thief! "I want in on whoever you're plannin' to blackmail! It's only fair!" "You think this is about fair," growled Star? "You ain't gonna' stiff me," retorted Gelf. "Yeah," sighed Star. "Actually, I am." She turned to face him, a packet of papers folded under her arm. "This is your last chance, Gelf," she said. "You weren't supposed to survive this, but if you go out there and surrender..." "You fucking _bitch_ ," howled the thief! He sprang at her. The spell-dart flattened him before he'd moved a foot. "Sorry," she sighed as she stepped over the corpse. She'd known going in how this would end, but she'd hoped he would just walk away.

Walking out of the vault, she took a right turn, heading away from the main stairs. There was a ventilation shaft thirty feet down the hall. Between magic and the grid-person forcefield she'd purchased, it wouldn't take her long at all to reach the top of the ventilation system. Noise behind her announced the guards breaking down the door they'd barricaded on the way in. She quickened her steps, but only a little. By the time they entered the hallway, she was already halfway up the ventilation shaft.

It took more than an hour for the guards to figure out what had happened to their security system. Then there came the questions. Who were the people who broke in? _Why_ did they break in? Those questions went all the way up to the mistress of the facility. She didn't know any more than her peeps did, but she had a sneaking suspicion that their primary victim might have some ideas about who tried to rob her.

Back in the capitol, a groggy Finn woke to the sound of Cherry's phone ringing. He felt more than saw the little woman slip out of bed. Picking up her phone from the night-stand, Cherry padded across to the closet, shutting the door behind her. Finn stared into the darkness at the light coming from under the door. Star was out there. She was supposed to be burgling Cherry's secret vault tonight. He was certain the mystery call was about that, but he had no idea what the call signified. Part of him felt a terror over his daughter's well-being. She had every chance of getting captured, hurt, or killed. The other piece of him hungered to know. Had she succeeded?

Inside the closet, Cherry was getting the answer to his question. Junior was on the other end of the line. She had been dragged out of bed in the middle of the night, and she'd had to drive down to answer the Mafia Princess's questions. She didn't give the mistress of the underworld a lot of information–just enough to calm her down. She did get access to Cherry's vault. "Our problem was here," rumbled the shapechanger. "She brought a bunch of guys to make it look like they were robbing the place and hung them out to dry while she went straight for your box." "Have you been inside," asked the worried gangster? "Yeah. 'Nother big sign that it wasn't a robbery at all. The place wasn't kicked over. Thief went right for the docs." That was _really_ worrisome. All of the secret pledges and agreements were stored there. It might be time to think about moving them–assuming they were still there to be moved.

"That's the thing," said Junior. "Our thief screwed it. Went for the wrong box and missed the section with the really dangerous stuff." Cherry sighed her relief. "Close it down," she said. "Get the box secure again. We'll look at moving it in the morning." Junior acknowledged those orders and hung up. Cherry turned out the light and stepped out of the closet, looking greatly troubled. Finn was awake as she crossed the room, and that contributed a little to her angst. It was the problem with their strange situation. Her man was the chief cop of the kingdom. In her ordinary life, she would have just dropped the problem in his lap. Cherry Cream Soda, Attorney at Law, could have called upon the best resources in the Candy Kingdom to track down the thief who was harassing her.

Cherry Cream Soda the Crime Boss had to be a little careful just now of pushing her lover too far. She had to be cautious about what she told him when. He was coming along nicely. She was slowly bringing him down the road to where he could share her life, but he wasn't there yet. Cherry plugged her phone back into the charger and got back into bed. She was tense when he slipped his arms around her. "You alright," he asked? "A small setback," sighed Cherry. She glanced up into his ruggedly handsome face. He had raised that little bitch. She had all his cunning, and that made her all the more dangerous. And it took her best asset. She well knew that he could never be convinced to murder the child he'd raised himself. She had to find another way to get rid of Shoko. Finn drew her close and kissed her sweet lips. It didn't take much to distract her.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45:

"I thought I'd find you up here."

Marceline grumped something impolite. She hadn't seen Ash in years, and, honestly, she could have gone an eternity without seeing him again. "C'mon, Mar-Mar," he said. "You and that weenie got me good. Are you really gonna' hate on me for the rest of my life?" Marceline continued to strum her guitar idly, playing snippets of music, but he knew she could hold a grudge for ages. "Heard about the kid," said Ash, as he sat down opposite her, forcing her to look at him.

Marceline glanced away. "It's why I never wanted kids," said Ash. "We would have been just fine without one..." That had been one of the big bones of contention between them. The stupid teddie-bear had been the last straw in a haystack that went back years. Marceline the Vampire Queen had been very _into_ Ash in the early days. They were two bad and rad dudes keeping house, and she'd loved him like nobody else. Problem was that, like the typical girl, she'd gone into nesting mode and suggested popping out a kid to spoil the fun. That wasn't Ash's scene, and he'd said so. He'd been completely, totally honest about it. He didn't need or want a kid, and he didn't think she did either.

Marceline glared at him, but Ash didn't back down. "C'mon," said he. "You've been a recluse for seventeen years, Mar-Mar. You been taking care of that guy, and what does he do? He just walks out on you like it's nothing." Irritated–she didn't really like the points he was making primarily because she'd been thinking them herself–Marceline growled, "do you have a point, Ash? 'Cause you need to get to it. At the end of the day, you still fucked me over. Hell, you fucked over half of Ooo when you put in what that bitch, Maja, tried to do." "Yeah," sighed Ash. "I kinda' figured that's how you'd feel. But hey, I tried." And then he blew the dust in her face. She was out cold before she could even register what he'd just done.

The weird little round house was familiar to Marceline. She'd been here before, but she couldn't remember when. It was surprisingly big inside, and the vampire queen found herself wandering the halls and rooms of the place for hours, picking up bits of this and that and looking in on the strange little scenes she found inside. There was a warmth to the place, and it felt kind of like visiting the three bears' house. Marceline picked through the knick-knacks and tchotchkes the owners kept until she grew bored. And that was when she realized that she was really kind of dirty.

Reasoning that her hosts wouldn't mind, the beautiful vampire-lady went down to the little bathroom and slipped inside. Floating before the tub/shower combo, the tall woman slipped her tank-top over her head and slung it onto the vanity. Then she kicked off her shoes and started wriggling out of her jeans. She'd gone free-swingin' today, letting her boobies wobble free–something that always felt good for her–so now all she had to deal with were the nasty thong panties she was wearing. Lacy and see-through across the entire front panel, they were the naughty secret the goth-girl hid from the world. Oh, most people thought of Marceline as sexual, but mostly they thought in terms of crude, even _vulgar_ behavior that just seemed to come naturally to her. Few would have guessed that Marcy Abadeer was _sensual_. The slim woman slipped into the shower, turned on the water, and began to wash the funk off.

The sexy vampire lady splashed and scrubbed away, washing the dirt of the day off her hot, forever-young body. Moments into her shower, she found herself thinking of being naughty. She had a host of naughty fantasies about dudes she knew or had heard about, and she didn't hesitate to indulge herself. Fantasy was usually better than reality, and she didn't have to worry about making a getaway. While she was pondering who she was going to fantasize about and stroking her pert knobs, a sound from outside the shower startled her. Was somebody there?

Marceline glanced outside and found no-one. A little shaken, she thought of getting out and getting dressed again. She hadn't exactly asked permission after all. As she was contemplating that, the shower curtain slid back, and a big, bulky form slipped in behind her. Two massive arms slipped around her, and she found her body pressed in against a hard, barely-yielding mass of meat. Her enhanced senses heard a powerful beating heart, and her sensitive skin felt a mass of something against her ass.

Before Marceline could scream, one big, meaty hand was cupping her right titty and a second was slipping down her flat stomach, headed for home-plate. The tall vampire began to panic now. "You're just as beautiful as I remember," whispered Finn the Human. His lips were next to her ear, and she could feel his breath sighing past her cheek, all hot and moist, and oozing sexy. A shiver went through her as she remembered how Finn had accidentally peeked and seen her in the shower at her house. They'd never talked about it, but it had been a source of fantasies for Marceline for _years_.

As those thoughts went through her mind, Marceline felt Finn's rough finger slip inside her snatch. A hot gasp escaped her lips, but then she opened her legs to give him access. Finn took full advantage, stroking and caressing her gooey snatch, one thick finger gliding in and out of her hot honey-hole. He was so _gentle_. The rough, rowdy boy she'd known for most of his life was far more gentle than she would have guessed. At the same time, his other hand stroked and caressed her knobs like they were dainty things. He pressed his face into the crook of her neck, lipping her shoulder and throat, and then he started grinding his hips against her ass, making her feel that big piece of meat that all the princesses of Ooo lusted after.

The first climax came fast. She'd been a little horny at the start. When he started teasing and stroking the kitty, he had her ready to scream in no time. Panting for air, Marceline lay back against him. Nibbling at her ear, he said, "want some _tongue_ now, Marcy?" The vampire flushed to her hair. She'd used that on him literally _decades_ ago–teasing him about his sexual inexperience. Now, as she took that short stroll down memory lane, Finn pushed her up against the wall of the shower, pulled her legs apart, and dove into her hot snatch. "Oooaaaah," shrieked Marceline, and her left hand grabbed a handful of his hair, while her right grabbed the towel-rack just to stay upright.

He was as rough with her box now as he had been gentle before, shoving his tongue into her honey-hole and biting at her button. At the same time, he stroked her hot gash with his finger, teasing the plump lips. "Aaaah... oooaaaah," howled the vampire. Throwing her head back, she whined and squealed as he brought her off. He didn't stop, though. He kept going, teasing her now and making her practically want to shout at him. "Finnnn," she whined. "Finn... please..." Drawing back, he stood up, grabbed her by the arm, and shoved her face into the corner of the shower. Roughly, he jerked her thighs apart and pressed his fat pecker against her slot. Marceline screamed again as she felt that big thing shove its way inside her pussy.

Finn began to fuck her hard, nibbling at the mark on her neck that the Vampire King had left. He took her hard and fast, his hands roughly squeezing and tormenting her knockers. She could feel that big piece of meat shoving itself deeper into her snatch and deeper still until his hips were smacking into her butt. It didn't take long before he had her screaming again. She knew he was good. Neither Simone nor the wood-nymph witch were shy about saying so. Getting to feel it, though... "You should have let me pump a baby into you for real, Marcy," whispered Finn. "I'd have been happy to knock you up." Marceline shuddered in climax as that thought practically blew her mind. "I wanna' do it," hissed Finn as he grabbed her flat belly and rubbed his hard, calloused hand all over her abs. "I'm gonna' pump that belly up with my baby..."

Marceline awoke from the dream with a start, stunned to realize she'd been dreaming about Finn basically _taking_ her like that. She'd flirted with infatuation with the boy-toy over the years she'd known him, but that was a little much. She was too old for him. He was her friend, and she'd tried to firmly keep their relationship in that realm. So what changed? Did she feel something now?

Shaking that deadly dangerous question off, she sat up and tried to figure out where she was. She already knew what had happened. Ash had dosed her with his sleeping-powder. Again. When she saw him, she was going to teach him a lesson that he'd never forget. _At least he didn't try to trick me into thinking we were still together,_ she thought. She was revolted to remember that she'd actually given him a blow-job the last time he'd dosed her. She'd had to hide that last nasty fact from Finn ironically enough. Finn had wanted to chop off his balls for hurting her last time, and she'd talked the boy hero down to just kicking Ash's ass and dumping him in the woods.

Dusting herself off, Marceline realized that maybe things were a touch worse than she'd thought. Her jeans were gone! And her tank-top too! _Don't tell me that fucker...,_ thought the Vampire Queen. She wasn't above a little violence herself, and the thought of murdering Ash had a deep appeal already. If he had done anything stupid while she was unconscious, she would take her time at killing him. After adjusting to the darkness, her sharp eyes picked out bars. He had her locked in a cell. _Classy, Ash,_ she though. _Way to stay classy._

Testing the bars, she found they were firmly embedded in the concrete or stone above and below. She'd have to exert herself. Fortunately, the prison hadn't been made that could contain the strongest vampire in Ooo. Red eyes glowing, Marceline began to grow in stature. "Ah-ah-ah," announced a voice. A light flicked on, blinding in its intensity. The vampire woman flinched back from it. A familiar voice said, "I wouldn't try that, Mar-Mar." "Ash," growled Marceline. She wanted to do it all the more. Grabbing the bars, she began to pry at them. "Pull those bars free, and the ceiling comes down, Mar-Mar," said the wizard. "Yeah, so," growled the vampire in her unearthly voice.

Grinning, as he came into view, the wizard explained, "we're at the top of a mountain near the north pole, Mar-Mar. The sun's bright enough here to burn you to a crisp nearly twenty-four hours a day. And when the sun doesn't cover this spot, my sun-lense spell does..." Marceline stopped shaking those bars and backed up. "That's better," chuckled the wizard. Returning to her normal shape, Marceline demanded, "what the fuck do you want, Ash? If you think I'm getting back together with you..." "What," laughed Ash? "After you let that fucking norm bang you and make a baby?" He snorted in disgust. "No nasty, used pussy for me," laughed the bad-boy. He was _never_ going for sloppy-seconds after a disgusting turd like Finn. Face gone hot, Marceline growled, "I'm going to _kill_ you when I get out of here, Ash." "Yeah, sure," chuckled the wizard. Shaking his head, the wizard said, "we just want the kid here, Mar-Mar. We want your sweet little boy to show up."

Those words alarmed the vampire and had her at the bars all over again. "What do you want with Marshall," she demanded? "Not really your business, Mar-Mar," chuckled Ash. That told her that this wasn't about _Ash_. It was about something else entirely. Somebody else wanted Marshall. "They didn't tell you," retorted the vampire. "You'd be blabbing if you knew." Ash's face went red-hot at that assessment, telling her she was spot-on. "Marshall doesn't have any money," growled the vampire. "I put all his concert cash in a trust-fund. He can't touch it until he's twenty-one." "You think this is about cash," laughed Ash. Shaking his head, he laughed at her, amused all over again. That was how he left her, chuckling in amusement because for all her fantastic powers, his ex-girl was the biggest dope in creation.

The text message came as Marshall Lee Abadeer was lazing in bed with his latest conquest. They'd spent the previous night partying like rockstars, hitting clubs, and dancing. The Princess of the Engagement Ring Kingdom had shaken her ass on the dance-floor like a teenager, and they'd had a blast. It was the most fun he'd honestly had since he got here. He'd enjoyed going out and being seen with Connie on his arm. He'd enjoyed taking her out onto the dance floor, and he'd enjoyed taking her in bed afterwards. There was just one fly in the ointment.

Marshall sat up and stretched. He'd been thinking of escape the last few days. It had been kind of fun banging the shit out of the supposedly virginal princess of the Engagement Ring Kingdom. Connie was a slut, willing to do pretty much anything he wanted. She'd even let him screw her in the ass a couple of times. Unfortunately, fun as that was, he didn't want to marry her. He liked his freedom and the fun of screwing unlimited girls whenever he felt like it. He enjoyed his life just as it was. He wasn't going to put a ring on it, and he knew that she would get rather shrill when she found out.

His phone chimed again, and he realized then what had woke him up. Picking up the phone, he checked the screen to find a text message. From his mom. _Fuck,_ thought the half-breed. He'd started to think she wouldn't come looking for him. Yawning, Connie sat up. "What's that," she asked? Marshall frowned at her. In the clear light of day, he thought he could _see_ the beginnings of wrinkles–the tell-tale signs that she was getting older. On such a beautiful woman, they were just minor blemishes–the beginnings of a second chin, smile lines, and crow's feet at the corners of her eyes. For a young man who would never grow old, they were reminders that she would die, and that he would be a fool to get attached to her.

"Is something wrong, Marshy," she asked? Shaking himself, Marshall leaned over and kissed her. Softly, he said, "my mom's buggin' me." He held up the phone, showing the text message. Frowning, Connie said, "it looks urgent, Marshy. Do you need to go?" With a groan, Marshall said, "I'm sure it's just her trying to jerk my chain, Connie. She's been doing it my whole life after all." Connie flinched back from him. Those were some pretty awful things to say, and she feared telling him her news.

Seeing the look in her eyes, Marshall gathered her in and said, "I'm sorry, Connie. She... She just does that to me." Connie nodded. Softly, she said, "you should go see her, Marshy. She's your mom. If I still had my mom..." Marshall flushed to his hair. Just like every girl he'd ever met, she could lay a guilt-trip on him like nobody's business. Every girl but Shoko had tried to guilt him over the years. With a heavy sigh, he said, "ok. I-I'll call her." "Go _see_ her, Marshy," Connie urged. "She might need you." "Alright," he muttered.

Marshall got up and hit the shower, planning to head out right away. The sooner he got done with his mom, the sooner he got back to living his life. With the decision made, he actually found himself singing in the shower, which went some way towards calming Constance's worry. When he got out, he found her sitting at her makeup table. She had her own separate bath in her suite, larger than his, and not for the hundredth time did Marshall think that his mother was some kind of drama queen or something. She suffered in that tiny house when she had enough treasure stashed away across Ooo to live in a palace bigger than this one.

Connie rose from her makeup table when he came out in his traveling clothes. Hips swaying gently, she strode across to him, and Marshall slipped his arms around her. "Promise me you'll come back as soon as you can," she whispered. Kissing her creamy purple lips, the dhampir said, "of course I'll be back. I just gotta' go see what's up with my mom. She's... Clingy... Drives me crazy. I'm sure it'll just be something stupid." Connie gave him a kiss, saying, "ok. Get back here soon. We need to talk about some stuff." Gathering her into his powerful arms, the half-breed kissed her thin lips one more time. "Sure," said he. "Looking forward to it." And then he went floating out her window.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46:

Randy knew he shouldn't allow her to do this, but it calmed the young princess. She was anxious about her mother's safety, worried about her sisters, and honestly terrified of what was coming down the road. When you added in the fact that she was a little stir-crazy from not being able to leave this place, Shoko was a bit of a mess. So. He let her sit on his lap. She would sit for hours curled up on his lap, _thinking_. She'd even fallen asleep there a time or two. He knew he shouldn't allow her to be so close to him, as they weren't married.

More to the point, Shoko was a bag full of water, and he was a fire-elemental–two things that mixed catastrophically poorly. He knew firsthand how poorly, since his cousin had dated Shoko's father once upon a time. When Finn the water-bag wasn't accidentally dousing Phoebe the fire-elemental, Phoebe was catastrophically burning Finn. Randy was one expired-spell away from a terrible accident with Shoko, and he knew it. Did he forget for even a moment, she'd be badly injured. And how would he get her to a hospital? Was there even a safe place he could take her in the Candy Kingdom right now?

Still, he lacked the will to stop her. If he let himself admit it, it felt _nice_. His flame burned so much brighter in her presence. Which of course brought a new fear. Was this how Phoebe got ensnared? It was a dangerous thought under the circumstances. He didn't want to put either himself or her through that, and he did his best to steer Shoko away from forming an attachment to him with patchy success.

Shoko's phone rang as she dozed there on his lap. "Shoko," he breathed. "Huh," she burbled, opening her eyes a crack. That was when she heard the phone ringing. Jumping out of his lap, she rushed across to the phone and jerked it off the charger. "Go," she almost-shouted. It was a sign of her anxiety that she always did that now. She was starving for news–any news at all–and she would rush the phone if she thought it was her father or sisters.

"Hello, Shoko," came the familiar voice. "Mom," breathed Shoko. With a sigh, P-Bot replied, "I'm afraid not, Shoko. I... wish it were true. Listen closely. This is important, and the tricks I used to disable the surveillance on me won't last long..." Shoko, who'd been stunned to be so fooled by the robot, almost missed the next few words. It was only the robot's calm statement of, 'your mother's alive,' that got her attention. "Say that again," stammered the young princess.

"I have reason to believe that your mother's alive, Shoko," said P-Bot. "They've been forcing me to test a series of formulas that I believe to be your mother's decorpsinator serum. The formulas started out rather poorly, but they've been getting closer and closer to the mark..." "Mom's remembering how she mixed it last time...," burbled Shoko. "Yes, Shoko," said P-Bot. "Today they brought me a working formula. I stalled them. I told them I had to run some further tests, but the formula's essentially complete." "Which means that bitch doesn't need my mom anymore," murmured Shoko. "Shit." A thrill of stark terror went through her as she realized they may have already killed her mom. _No,_ thought the young princess. _We won't believe that. There's still a chance. There has to be._

Turning back to her conversation, she said, "stall them, P-Bot. My mother's life depends on you." "I'm doing the best I can, Shoko," P-Bot replied, "but you don't have much time. Whatever you're planning must be soon." The machine signed off, leaving Shoko in a state of turmoil. She needed her dad. She needed her brothers and sisters. All she had right now was Star. Worse, it was the middle of the day. If Star came _now_ , it might reveal things to their enemy. _But my mom doesn't have any more time,_ thought the heiress. It was time to move.

Hundreds of miles away, Marshall Lee Abadeer came floating up an icy mountain pass in the almost-blinding sunlight. Flying almost constantly and taking only a few hours a night to rest, it had taken him a couple days to get here. He'd found his mother's house empty and dark. The only clue he'd found was a mysterious letter telling him to send a text message to a number that he didn't know. That text had begun a series of exchanges that sent the young man into a downward spiral of worry and fear.

His mom had lots of enemies. She was really astoundingly good at pissing people off. It was almost second-nature. Maybe that came with the territory of being the second-oldest person on Ooo. Whatever. His mom had people across the civilized kingdoms ready to string her up by her tits. More to the point, while it _was_ like his mom to disappear at the drop of a hat for days or even _months_ on end–including one epicly bizarre episode where she'd dumped him at Finn's house for two weeks–she wouldn't have come to a place like this, not somewhere so hazardous to a vampire. Marceline the Vampire Queen had a death-wish. She'd lost so much and seen so many die over the centuries of her life, that she was frequently careless but never so careless that she'd come to a place of endless sunlight like this.

That didn't even begin to address all the _mystery_. His mom was good at pranking–a trait he'd inherited in spades–but her pranks were far simpler and more personal. She wouldn't have used text-messages over the phone. She wanted to hear your voice–to listen to the fear and worry. She got off on that shit. Text-messages were too sanitary and impersonal. _So who is it,_ Marshall thought. _Who did she piss off?_ It would have to be someone with some power.

The structure was old–probably older than his mother. It was a squared off sort of blockhouse at the top of the mountain with some sort of structure that might once have been an antenna sitting on top. Eerily, it reminded him of the ancient radio-dishes Finn had shown his kids once upon a time. _Aliens,_ thought Marshall? It didn't really track. Finn had killed them all, and any survivors would have known better than to hunt up somebody so lethal as a vampire. Still, the strange shape of the building added to his worry.

Knocking on the heavy, steel door, Marshall Lee waited in the bitter cold thinking of how much nicer his mom had it in a lot of ways. This bitter wind wouldn't have bothered her. She was undead. She'd left the land of the living centuries ago. There were moments when he would have been delighted to be a full-fledged vampire instead of a half-breed. Other moments–like when he got to go out in the summer sunlight–he was happy as he was.

They kept him waiting a long while before someone finally opened the door. "About freakin' time," growled the angry half-vampire. "Temper, temper," rumbled Ash. Marshall frowned at the smiling visage of his mother's least-favorite person. Her ex-boyfriend was a serial douche-bag, and Marshall had threatened to tear him limb-from-limb if he ever came around hassling his mom again. The idea that his mother might be here in this place sent a shiver down Marshall's spine. He was scared all over again. Ash had no love of Marceline Abadeer. He had a lot of reasons for _hate_ in fact.

Smiling as if in reaction to that thought, Ash stood aside, beckoning the young dhampir to come in. No sooner had Marshall floated through the doorway than it shut behind him, sounding like the door to a prison-cell. "You've got questions," chuckled Ash, as he set out. Marshall apparently wasn't going to get answers as, the minute they started out, the rogue wizard clammed up again. The strange place wasn't big, and the few rooms were huge, taking up nearly all the space inside. Ash led him from one room to the next until they finally ended up inside a room that was opened to daylight.

In that final room was a heavily-constructed cell with massive steel bars supporting a heavy cement-block wall. That was the source of all the light, as the ceiling of the cell was open to the sky. The roof above opened like an iris,, letting the midnight sun shine in. And that was where he found his mom.

She was sitting in a tiny corner of the cell–the one piece sheltered from the burning sunlight–wearing nothing but bra and panties, like they'd dragged her out of bed. "Mom," burbled Marshall. Throwing himself against the bars, he howled, "mom! Are you ok?!" Marceline looked up at him, her face a study in misery, and it was clear that she'd been crying for hours. "She didn't play ball," chuckled Ash. Marshall-Lee Abadeer turned to face his mother's tormenter, growing four-feet in under a minute. Hairy and sporting massive fangs and claws, he towered over the little shit. "Ah, ah, ah," interrupted the evil wizard. A scream announced that his mother's sanctuary had just gotten a touch smaller.

Marshall backed off. Terrified, he turned to the bars to find that the sun was burning her legs. His heart was filled with agony at the sight. He'd caused this. He'd abandoned her and let them do this to her. He should have been there. Her cries wrenched at his heart, and he begged them, "stop it! Please! Glob, please stop it!" The rogue wizard touched the control, closing the hatch a little. Slowly the cries of pain stopped.

Ash chuckled in high humor. "What do you want," demanded the dhampir? The wizard told him, "it's kind of funny, kid. Figured you'd run out on her. Figured you got fed up like everybody else..." Marshall found himself tempted to tear him to pieces anyway. How quick was that machine? Could he get the bars open before she was burned to death? She was old and tough, but he knew his mother often used heavy layers of clothing to keep the sun off her skin. Right now, all she had was a bra and panties. "Never figured you'd be such a bleeding-heart, mama's boy," chuckled Ash.

"Fine," growled the dhampir. "You want money? I'll _get_ you money." "From where," laughed the wizard? "All your cash is tied up in a trust." Marshall flushed. He could get it from Connie. If he promised to marry her, he could get it from the princess. But he wasn't the kind of guy who broke a promise like that. He was an asshole, but he wasn't that big an asshole. "I said I'd get your money," growled Marshall. Which amused the wizard to no end. He was really enjoying this, and Marshall was edging closer to tearing him apart.

Coming to the end of his hearty guffaws, Ash said, "nah, kid. I don't need money. I'm already being paid pretty big bucks for this. Toasting your mom's just icing on the cake." He held up the tiny remote. "This is her life, kid," said Ash. "It's already set on a timer. In just seventy-two hours, that room will open completely, and, well... Let's just say that your mom doesn't tan very well..." "What is it you want, you sick fucker," demanded Marshall?! "It's really simple, kid," chuckled the wizard. "You bring me the head of Princess Shoko. I release your mother." Simple. Right. He only had to bring them his sister's head. He had to murder his sister after only just finding out he had one. He wanted to tear this fucker apart all over again. Ash didn't give him any time to think about it, either. "We have a deal, kid," asked the wizard? "Your mom's life for the gumdrop." "Deal," spat Marshall.

"Alrighty," said the wizard. "You'll meet your team at a bar on Licorice Lane..." Marshall frowned. "I don't need a team," he muttered. "Yeah, but you were fuckin' her, man," said Ash. "Everybody knows what bad-boy rockers do with chicks. Have to say, if I was into food-play, I'd fuck her too, but I guess my employer doesn't trust you not to do something funny. You take our team with you. You get the head. Bring it back here... Then you get mommy." "You're going to die, Ash," growled Marshall, as he turned to go. "Sticks and stones, kid," retorted the wizard.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Shoko was on the phone with her sister and father as she perused scans of the documents Star had stolen. "No," said the young princess, "it's not the facility in the north, dad. That's too far. We know she's been physically going to see my mom because she's been personally bringing the test formulas out to P-Bot. It's got to be something closer. Honestly, I think it almost has to be right here in town." Which didn't really seem to correspond to any of the numerous gangster-run warehouses that Finn knew of. Even before his strange relationship with Cherry, the Captain of the Guard knew a lot more than most about the way the Candy Kingdom's gangs ran. He knew a lot of the places they stashed their trash. He knew the secret gambling dens, and he knew where they kept the money.

The only reason he hadn't had Star investigating them already was the risk she'd get seen trying to check up on what was inside, and the fact that there were so damned many of them. They ran the gamut–from mom-and-pop businesses that had no idea they were doing business with the mob, to hard-core, gangster-run places where the worst things went down. There were literally a hundred such places scattered across the Kingdom from Cocoa City and the borderlands to the capitol and back. Finn had wanted some way to narrow the list down to something manageable that they could hit all at one go.

They were kind of in a spot just now. Their family was still in danger. If they went forward with a raid, they needed to snatch up everybody at once and get them all to safety at one time. Then they had to grab Bonnie before Cherry could do her in. That took manpower. Finn had only a small, hard core of people he trusted in the Banana Guards right now. He trusted his Heavy Boys because he'd hand-picked them for their jobs. Spike had no involvement in recruiting and training them. That was all Finn's work. Unfortunately, he had scarcely a hundred of them–not enough to hit all the sites Cherry had access to.

"It's in the papers, dad," rumbled Star. Finn glanced up at his daughter. She was showing the strain. He saw echoes of himself from when he'd come back from the Crystal Prison having inadvertently released the most evil beings in the universe on the world once more. Star had been staring into darkness a little too much, and that was worrying him too. He wanted to send her back to her nice, happy life–the one he and her mother had been trying to build for her.

Running her fingers through her hair, the wizard-girl said, "it wouldn't be something she has to depend on somebody else for. It's got to be in these papers somehow." Except that Finn didn't really understand what he was looking at. If you took the documents at literal face value, Cherry didn't own any of it. She had shares in various businesses, and it seemed that some of those businesses owned buildings and warehouses, but she herself didn't own anything. "I don't have a clue," muttered Finn. He sounded... _defeated_. "Dad," pleaded Shoko! "Hang in there! We _need_ you!" "I know, babe," sighed Finn, "but I'm... your dumb old father. Your mom would have figured this out already." Shoko laughed, "she had her handicaps too, dad. She would have tried to type all of this into a computer program, spent a month solving it, and missed the deadline by a mile." Finn laughed. That was too true. If he was dumb, his old girlfriend was much too smart for her own good. Cherry had used her own smarts to outsmart her. She'd been in plain sight the whole time, doing her dirt.

"Wait a minute," muttered Finn. "Plain sight! That's it!" Star frowned at him. "It was right there in front of my nose," muttered Finn. "She doesn't technically own anything but her house, but there's cameras on every shop and building nearby, right...?" Both his daughters admitted that was true. "Shoko," said Finn, "how do you own something without showing that you own something? How do you fix it so nobody can see just how much you have...?" "Front-companies, daddy," said Shoko. "If I own a controlling portion of a company, I own a controlling percentage of everything that company owns..." There was a pause on the phone. On the other end of the line, Shoko was flicking through scans of documents with abandon. "Dad," said the pretty princess, "I think I know where Star needs to go next." " _Where_ ," demanded the wizard-girl? "Burdette's Real-Estate Fund," Shoko replied. "They've got their fingers in every piece of property in this stack. Question is: who owns Burdette's? Really?" "I'm on it," growled the wizard. Turning to her father, she said, "dad? School start's tomorrow. You're going to have to run interference for me, somehow." Finn nodded. Admonishing his youngest child to be careful, Finn broke the connection, leaving Shoko alone again.

As Randy watched, she got up and began to pace, almost shaking with emotion. This whole business was having a profoundly unpleasant effect on her young mind. She _was_ young. Possessed of a brilliant mind as she was, she was still young and impressionable, and this was taking a toll on her. Rising from his place, he went to her side, took her by the shoulders and told her, "I'm so very proud of you, Shoko! You're doing so well. You're managing all of this masterfully." Shoko stared up at him, and her eyes were full of tears. This was killing her. The worry for her mom. The fear of what was happening to her brothers and sisters. It was all killing her. She hadn't even had a chance to get to know Billy, and she feared she never would.

Overwhelmed by her pain and worry, she threw her arms around Randy's neck and cried. The floodgates sprang open, and she cried and cried and cried. Randy felt the pain of all those tears splashing his molten flesh, but he did nothing to force her away. Instead, he ran his fingers through her long, flowing hair, whispering soothing words in her ear. He felt all of a fool. Was he really going to do this? Was he going to fall in love with a bag of water that he couldn't really even touch? Finally realizing what she was doing to him, Shoko would have jumped back, but he held on. His eyes told her that it was ok. She'd needed that, and so he didn't mind the pain. Leaning towards him, the young princess kissed his smoldering lips for all she was worth.

Across town, Dr. Princess straightened from making an annotation to the patient record on her desk. She'd done this consultation as a favor for one of her colleagues. Ordinarily she didn't see patients this late, and she'd skipped out on a hot date with her new boyfriend to take care of it. "Yes," said she. "You _are_ pregnant. About a month along..." The candy-person, who'd been in the middle of drawing on her clothing, gave the pretty doctor a distracted smile. "Obviously, you should find a good doctor to manage your pregnancy at this point," Drew opined.

Cherry looked up at her with a frown and said, "my understanding was that you had an opening." Drew flushed. She wasn't happy about said opening. One of her patients had disappeared. She feared foul play, and she'd been trying to get the Banana Guard to investigate for a week now. She'd even been considering cashing in favors with Finn to break the deadlock. _But that's not_ your _problem,_ thought the doctor. With a heavy sigh, she said, "alright. Be back here next week..." Lest the woman get the wrong impression, Dr. Princess admonished her, "during regular hours." Cherry nodded. That was fair enough.


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47:

Burdette Realty was a massive conglomerate that owned prime acreage all over the Candy Kingdom and beyond. The place was owned by the biggest of the bigs in the kingdom–people who had so much money, they could pay to be invisible. Star had done her own late-night digging after she and her dad got off the phone with Shoko, and she'd managed to prove Shoko's hunch out. If there was something to find, it would be _here_. The mysterious owners of the place filed their quarterly reports on time every time. They paid their taxes down to the penny without a quibble, and they always, _always_ kept business above board. Nobody from the Candy Kingdom's government had been moved towards even suspicion of the place in many years.

Cherry Cream Soda's front-company did business out of a beautiful building that sat in the nebulous space between the capitol and Candy-Town–a sort of no-man's land that was technically under preservation by Princess Bubblegum's. It was intended to keep the grasslands from being plowed under and turned into sprawling houses and businesses. The reality was that certain friends of the Royal Family could get permission to build their homes and business out here. Star knew that because her own family had the very first of those impossible-to-get permission slips, grandfathering the tree-house when technically it should have been torn down.

Sitting perched on a rooftop across the road from the place, Star found herself wondering if this was the end of the road. This place was so secure and so secretive, Bonnie might very well be inside! The wizard girl had held a long, heart-to-heart with her dad about her place in all of this, and he'd had great insights for her. She wasn't going crazy, and she wasn't feeling anything he hadn't felt himself. He'd been down deep on a number of occasions–times like when the Lich killed Billy and tricked Finn into activating the Enchiridion. He'd come through it, and he'd reminded Star that sometimes you had to see ugly through to the end to find beauty. Those words had helped her reorient herself, and now she was energized again as she hadn't been since this had started.

Still, he'd promised to let her out of her commitment to being a deputy. As soon as he could get them out from under all the evil Cherry had done, he'd take the badge back and let Star get on with her life. He wanted his kids to go to school, not be a dufus like him after all. Star wanted to get back to school and her friends. She wanted to laugh at Fionna for being a dufus in class and just take her time with growing up. _So let's see if you've got one more in you,_ thought the wizard-girl.

As with so many of her magic, she'd learned the spell for strengthening metal from her mom. Now she put that to use hardening the arrow that carried her rope. She was going to zip-line down onto the roof of Burdette Realty and come in from the top, ducking much of the security, including the heavily-armed guards at the door. Like the vaults, this place came with its own private army, and they were armed far beyond the legal limits in the Candy Kingdom. She needed a way to get the jump on them, and she had that.

Raising the bow, the wizard-woman sighted carefully along the arrow to the small stone structure that housed the stairs. Taking a deep breath, Star released half of it, then slowly stroked the trigger. With a soft 'twang' the arrow leapt out from her bow and sailed out across the distance to the target, burying itself in the wall. Star hooked the zip-line harness to the rope and tested it to make sure it was safe. Now she kicked off, zooming down the line at high speed–a dark blur against the greater darkness around her. Reaching the building, she put out her legs to stop herself, then, with a neat acrobatic maneuver, she flipped herself up onto the top of the stairwell. Much of the roof and the equipment atop it was alarmed, and Star had to be very careful even opening the ventilator atop the stairwell. Slipping down into the building, the young wood nymph took a deep breath. She was in.

The wizard took her time now, heading down a couple of flights of stairs to the executive suite. As she went out into the darkened hallway, she listened carefully to the rhythms of the empty building. Step by step, she made her way to the chief executive's office. The rich materials covering the walls and floors told her she'd come to the right place. Cherry's dainty little hand was all over this. She could just see the little bitch sitting their picking out those sumptuous materials. Her destination was dark and silent as a tomb. Star used a shard of ice to shatter the lock inside the doorknob. Then she carefully slipped inside.

The office inside was just as rich as the outside, and Star found herself running her fingers along soft leather chairs and against fine mahogany tables as she took a full circuit of the room. Finally, having scoped the place out, the spy moved on to the main event. The file cabinets in the corner were a good place to start the search for dirt. Star froze the locks and started rummaging through papers.

Miles away, the light on Cherry's phone began to flash. Excusing herself from her guests, the petite beauty went out into the hall and down to her office. Locking the door, she went to her computer and sat down. "Brazen little bitch, aren't you," rumbled the gangster-girl, as she watched the video feed of her henchman's former employee rifling her file cabinets. She had dodged this moment for a while, hoping not to have to do this. She could have used this girl's talents in her organization. Unfortunately she was a problem and distraction right now. She would have to go. Picking up her phone, the gangster sent a quick text message. Then the waiting began.

Star was at the desk looking over a set of blueprints when the computer there suddenly sprang to life. "Hello there," a soft, feminine voice announced. _Voice of the enemy,_ thought Star. "I know you can hear me," the voice declared. "I guess since you won't respond, _I'll_ do the talking." Star grimaced. In cheerful tones, that voice said, "I had been intending to reach out to you. You're one of the best I've seen. I might have made you my top agent." "Got a job," Star muttered. "Yes," chuckled Cherry Cream Soda, "about that... I'm afraid your current employer's going out of business. Why don't you look me up? If you survive..."

Star was on her feet and running quick as that. She didn't wait to see what the bitch had in store for her. Rushing across the room, she slowly became aware of a lambent glow lighting the sky outside. The first incandescent bolt of flame burst inside the room just as she was opening the door. That burst of heat and light hurled the young wood-nymph bodily through the doorway. Rolling with the impact, Star got up and hurled herself bodily down the hall.

Her assailant was in hot pursuit. Bolts of scorching flame burst the windows asunder, setting the hallway ablaze, scorching the walls, and filling the air with a searing burnt-carbon scent. Heart pounding, Star threw herself through the stairwell door. Without the slightest hesitation, she dove over the railing as a burst of fire lit up the stairwell.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Cherry sidled up to her lover, slipping her hand into his. Finn gave her cousin and sister an awkward smile. Grape and Limeade had been flirting with him all evening, which only seemed to make his evil girlfriend (tm) more clingy than usual. He had been doing his best to roll with it when he was a bit worried about Star. She was hitting Burdette's tonight. They were closing in on the spot Cherry had stashed Bonnie, and that meant things were getting more dangerous. Rather than be here living this nightmarish lie, he would rather have been with his little girl.

"Everything ok," he whispered? "Fine, honey," she replied. "Small emergency. I had to deal with an old employee..." Finn let that go. It was likely that some gangster would be in his guys' case-load tomorrow. Cherry's aunt, Rose, opined, "you must be good for my niece, sweetie. I haven't seen her look so _radiant_ in years." Cherry was all smiles. She and her cousins and sister had chatted away the afternoon about her new man. The beautiful attorney wasn't shy in talking about her love life with Finn. Treating Cherry's touchy relatives and their flirting just like he treated E's relatives, Finn merely said, "yeah, man. Just doing my best." And he politely but firmly disengaged Aunt Rose's fingers from his arm.

Back at Burdette's, Star came thundering down the hall on the ground floor. She could hardly believe her mom did this for more than twenty years! She should be a fucking _wreck_! And Star still had no idea who or even _what_ she was dealing with. Elemental? It was possible. Wizard was more likely. Whoever it was, they were pretty badass. And they'd cut Star off from her preferred escape route. That didn't even get into that bitch's threat. Did they know who she was? Did they know about her dad and Shoko? Her dad was literally stuck in that bitch's house! And she didn't have time to warn them!

Amidst the blaring of fire alarms, the young wizard ran into the lobby to find a pack of guards there. The startled guards had been in the midst of a frantic phone call to the fire-department. That gave Star the only edge she was going to get when, as one, they drew their dart-guns and opened fire on her. Doing a neat tuck and roll, she ducked behind a heavy decorative divider. She could hear the flat thumps of their guns and feel the whoosh of steel needles passing by. _Need_ cover _, Star,_ the wizard admonished herself. Rising up, she hurled a lightning bolt, flattening one of the guards–and drawing the rest straight to her. Before they could adjust their aim, a blast of flame hurled the front door inward.

Both Star and the guards turned to the door to see a strange figure, bundled up in rags, come through the door. The little bit of his skin that Star could see was a strange reddish hue, suggesting he may well have been part elemental. His eyes glowed with a fiendish red light, and a ball of incandescent flame floated above his hand. _The Scorcher,_ thought Star. She'd heard of him before from one of her dad's endless story. He was bad, bad news, and one of the few guys Finn had never bested. _This isn't the place to fight him,_ thought Star. She needed to clear out, get to her truck, and get the hell out of Dodge. If she could get him back to the jail, she had a chance to take him. Right now, he had all the advantages.

Star hurled a spell-dart. The Scorcher melted it with one of his scorching flame-bolts. The guards were torn. Half shot at her. The other half tried to light up the Scorcher. They ended up drawing his fire and saving her bacon. As the mercenary blew two of the guards out of their boots with flame-bolts, Star repositioned, getting closer to the door. She skidded to a halt in front of the entry as the Scorcher turned to face her. Star faked hurling another spell-dart. Just as expected, he hurled a bolt of flame. Much to his surprise, a barrier sprang to life a foot in front of his face, and the concussive blast hurled him back into the water-fountain in the center of the lobby. The burning assassin touched off an explosion of blinding steam, filling the lobby. Star flattened the last two guards with one spell-dart and ran like hell.

Miles away in town, Shoko was having a pleasant dinner with her new boyfriend. She'd started to think of Randy that way even before he began to more obviously return her affections. Now that they were somewhat out in the open, their little affair had sort of blossomed. She was looking forward to telling her mother. As she worked her way through a juicy steak, they chatted about hobbies and dreams. Randy wanted to take her to all those places she'd dreamed about going and not just to protect her. He wanted to see them too. Shoko was swirling the wine in her glass, thinking of how they could sell the idea to their parents when there came a knocking on their door.

Outside, Marshall Lee Abadeer floated in the hallway in a state of abject despondency. He was here because he'd abandoned his mom. He'd moved out on her and never looked back. No phone calls. No texts. Nothing. Just fuck you and good night. He kept thinking that if only he'd been present, he could have stopped this. He was here because Shoko _trusted_ him. She trusted him because he was her brother. Everyone thought they had slept together–that he had her charmed to lay down and give it up anytime he asked–because that's what he did. He seduced vulnerable girls with emotional issues. He did the pump-and-dump, and then he ran off. He'd been building negative karma at an explosive pace, and it was all coming back to haunt him.

The ugly cookie-man on his left gave him a glare. They were wasting time. It was time for him to do what he'd been brought here for. With a heavy-hearted sigh, Marshall knocked on the door again. Moments later, Shoko called out, "who's there?" The cookie-man's burning gaze told him to keep going. Marshall replied, "i-it's me, Marshall Lee..." There was another pause. Finally Shoko said, "come in..."

Marshall grabbed the door-knob, finding it strangely warm to the touch. Twisting the knob, he opened the door and stepped inside to find his beautiful little sister standing there before a roaring fire with dinner on the table next to her. His overwrought mind immediately thought, _her last meal?_ It took all he had in him not to cry. Of course his companions cared nothing for any of that. The cookie-man pushed Marshall aside as the half-dozen of them came in wielding clubs and knives. Marshall's heart broke at the way his sister looked at him now.

They were at the crux. He was standing there staring his own sister in her blue-blue eyes. He'd never noticed before how much she reminded him of Finn the Human. Finn his father. How could he do this? How could he kill his own sister? What would their father think of him? At the same time, how could he not? He knew for certain they would kill his mother if he didn't bring back a piece of her to show them.

"Well, Marshy," sighed Shoko. "I was expecting this, but I didn't expect _you_." That just made things worse, and the half-breed flinched. She was so calm about it. "What is she paying you," asked Shoko? Marshall blinked. She knew. "H-how do you," he stammered? With a shrug, Shoko replied, "dad always has a plan, Marshy. He's always a little bit ahead. How do you think he survived this long?" It was clear that the candy-people who'd accompanied the dhampir were also taking notes. As they put two-and-two together, Shoko called out, "Randy?"

A burst of flame in the fireplace announced the elemental, as Marshall suddenly realized that it made no sense for there to be a massive fire in the fire-place in late summer. The weather wouldn't turn cold enough for that for _weeks_. The creature grew to be almost as tall as the room. The heat became oppressive, driving the half-vampire to his knees. The elemental was terrifying, and Marshall realized that he wasn't nearly as bad as he liked to think he was. He would honestly have pissed himself staring at that _thing_. "Randy," murmured Shoko, "kill my brother's friends." The elemental prince became a tongue of flame, licking out through the room, tearing through the six candy-people as if they were nothing, burning them to a crisp and filling the air with the carbon-scent of burnt sugar.

The elemental coalesced again out of thin air, taking a position beside the princess. He was standing just a little ahead of her, and his burning gaze seemed to say, 'you're next.' Marshall stared up at his half-sister with a bleak expression on his face. "Why, Marshall," asked Shoko? "I wouldn't have expected a play like this from you." "They have my mom, Shoko," murmured the half-breed. "They're... they've got her in this cell with... with a window above it, and they're threatening to burn her alive if I don't bring them back a piece of you to prove I killed you." Shoko inhaled sharply. Her mom's best friend. Her half-brother's mom. On many levels, Shoko cared about Marceline Abadeer. The thought of her being murdered that way horrified the slim candy-person.

With a sigh, Shoko said, "then you'll have to bring them a piece of me..." Randy howled, "no, Princess! You will not die while under my protection! I can easily dispatch this rogue!" "He's my brother, Randy," said Shoko. "He is a rogue, but he's my brother. I love him, and I won't let his mother die that way." "Y-you've got a plan," babbled Marshall. "Yes, Marshy," chuckled Shoko. Turning away, she went over to the table and picked up the steak knife she'd been eating with. Wiping it clean, she went to the fireplace and stuck the blade into the flames. Stepping forward, Marshall asked, "what is it? Can you make a copy of your head or something?" He knew his sister was just as smart as her mom.

Chuckling, Shoko said, "nope." She hadn't learned as much about manufacturing candy-flesh as her mother knew. Those were lessons her mother was reserving for when she was much older. More to the point, she wouldn't have been able to conjure something like that in this little laboratory. She would have needed her mom's lab, and right now her mom's duplicate was down there doing a piss-poor job of impersonating Princess Bonnibel.

Rising, Shoko turned and came back to the table. "Randy," said she, "gonna' need you for this, sweetie." The elemental frowned at her. Where was she going with this? He'd already offered to off this shithead, but she'd turned him down. Marshall floated near the table, wondering what she was talking about as well. "You're going to take them my arm," sighed Shoko. It was kind of ironic. It almost made her want to laugh. She would be just like her namesake. Stretching out her arm, Shoko said, "Randy, you'll have to cauterize the stump. Or..." She would bleed to death. Handing the knife to Marshall, she said, "you're strong enough to do it in one go, Marshy... Strike fast." And she closed her eyes.

"Glob, _no_ ," howled Marshal! He couldn't do that! He couldn't cut his sister's arm off! Angry and upset, Randy shoved him aside. Shoko was set on this, and he knew he would never convince her otherwise. Fashioning a blade of flame, he chopped through his beloved's arm, slicing the flesh cleanly at the elbow, cauterizing the stump in one shot. The scream was the worst. Glob did she scream. The sound of that would be with the elemental noble the rest of his days. Passing out from the shock, Shoko collapsed. Crying tears of flame, Randy whispered the words of a fire-shield spell. Then, scooping up the unconscious woman, he told the vampire-scum, "you got what you came for. _Get out_!"

A horrified Marshall picked up the amputated limb and flew out of the room. The elemental sighed. "I can take you out of here now," he murmured. He'd wanted to do that on the first day. Now she no longer had anything holding her here. Turning a bolt of flame on the apparatus in the corner, the elemental prince set fire to the room. Sheltering the beautiful princess with his magic, the elemental waited a long, long while until the room was fully enveloped. Then, with the flames consuming the lab-turned-apartment and the Candy-Kingdom's rescuers on the way, the elemental tore through the roof, rocketing across the sky, using the smoke as cover.

Star raced back to the town jail, tearing through the streets at high speed. The Scorcher was down but certainly not out. She needed to be hunkered down and ready in a place of _her_ choosing to deal with him. Her dad had always stressed the need to have a plan–to be a couple steps ahead of her enemy–and it was advice Star took to heart. She had been planning a response to having somebody try whacking her for a while now. She had a surprise for Mr. Hot-Licks.

The wood-nymph wizard screeched to a halt in the jail's broad courtyard, practically diving out of the car. She went tearing across the stone pavement, heading straight for the main entry. Behind her, the truck she'd bought with Junior's hush-money burst into sudden, brilliant flame. _Easy come,_ thought the wizard as she abruptly changed course. The next bolt of flame impacted the main entrance, but Star had anticipated that. Changing course again, she darted into a service entrance, slamming the heavy door shut behind her. Licks of flame around the door showed that it had just sustained a direct hit–fusing door to door-jamb. Star had breathing room now. Even with his powers, he'd take a while burning through _that_ door.

She went down. She went down deep into the prison, taking stairs and corridors that she knew by heart from her parents' stories about this place and the ugly aliens that had been confined inside. Emeraude Baudin, as the most powerful member of Bonnibel Bubblegum's court, was frequently called upon to go down here and look in on those dreadful creatures. Though most had gone mad or descended into profound depression, they were, as a rule, still quite dangerous in spite of the years and the miles. The alien, Gorg, was the worst of all. He tried escape just for the fun of it, and he frequently told his guards to tell their overlord that he planned to drop in and visit her someday.

The Scorcher? It took him a while to even find another way in since he'd blasted the three closest. Drawing her phone, Star kept tabs on his progress, as he worked his way through the maze. She didn't even try to hide which way she was going. She wanted him following, not wandering around. She wanted him to end up where she needed him just at the right moment. As she jogged along, the young wizard passed the cells of her captives. They weren't doing that much better than the aliens had. This place was a dreary, depressing space, and Star would be glad to return it to its descent into decay.

Some of the gangsters looked up and made cat-calls. They had all done that in the early going. They'd made suggestive comments about what they were, collectively, going to do to her when they got their freedom back. Star universally ignored them. She rarely even opened a cell door. She was a wizard. She was perfectly capable of interrogating them from outside their cells. They got meals delivered in styrofoam bowls with no silverware at all, and that was pretty much it. "Looks like it's about to be lights out time, girly," shouted Brisky, as she rushed by. Star didn't even slow down. The glow from behind her was getting brighter. He was pissed. Scorcher had earned the name 'Ronson' in the underworld. His victims lit the first time. He rarely had to follow through.

Cheering accompanied the evil assassin as he passed the captives. One or two even suggested he let them out so they could help. Scorcher wasn't interested in them or anything they had to say. He was interested in his prey. That was all that mattered. The contract and the delivery. They were in the endgame now. There were no fancy tricks that could save her in this old prison. She was cornered.

The Scorcher came around a corner and found the little sneak-thief standing in a circle of pale light at the end of a short hallway. Immediately he let fly with his bolts of flame–more carefully this time. Those bolts of flame collided with a pinkish glowing barrier before reaching his quarry. He'd seen this before. Grid-Person shield. Now he worked around it, hurling bolts of flame to test the margins until the little bitch flinched at last. Now the Scorcher leveled bolts of flame on either side of the barrier, flattening the wood-nymph and setting her on fire. As the shield winked out, the assassin rushed in for the kill. They wanted her head.

Approaching the dead woman, he conjured a blade of blue-flame. "Gotcha," announced a voice behind him. The lights flicked on, revealing that the 'corpse' was a doll. Simultaneously, a glowing bubble of force sprang to life around him. Almost immediately he hurled bolts of flame at the bubble, even as it lifted him into the air. Star waited as he wore himself out. Then, in a calm voice, she announced, "you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law..." The hitman redoubled his efforts–to similarly negligible effect. The bubble wouldn't let him suffocate–unless she chose it–but even he wasn't strong enough to fight the fusion generator located somewhere under Bonnie's palace. Leaving the fuming hitman behind, Star started back up to the entry. She had to seal off the lower levels for a while. The Candy Kingdom's Fire Department didn't need to come down here after all. _And I need a new car,_ she thought. She'd ask her parents for a new car. She thought she deserved one.


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48:

Bon got up and began pacing again, making Frenchie start to think Fi was right. Maybe she _shouldn't_ have gotten her mom to send their major-domo with a spare phone. She'd slipped Bon's phone from his pocket when he'd been asleep. Reasoning that nobody would be watching her mom, she'd phoned home and asked fur stuff to help them, adding the phone at the last minute. It had seemed like a great idea on paper. The phone gave them a way to reach their families–just in case. Tough as she was, even Fionna could see the need for that. At the same time, it was tempting to break 'radio-silence' as Fionna called it. The phone had swiftly got used to find out what was going on and to try to keep tabs on their peeps.

And that was what did the damage.

Bon hadn't had any idea just how bad things were. He had taken King Phoebe's word that his father was 'handling' the problems back home. He'd been blissfully ignorant of just how far off the rails things had gone. Now he wanted to be there. He felt an overwhelming need to get back to the capitol and search for his mother, even though he knew it would risk everything.

It wasn't helping at all that they had just found out about the attempt on Shoko's life. That had been the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, causing Bon to have heated words with Fi and Patrick over the keys to Fionna's truck. Fi had gone and locked the doors to prevent his just taking it while they slept. He was a mess, and Frenchie knew no way to help. That made _her_ miserable. She'd had it all figured out. She had gotten them clean clothes and some better camping gear, and she'd thought she'd made things better.

As they watched Boniface walked out of the room. When Frenchie would have gone after him, Patrick motioned for her to stay. This was a bro moment. Bon needed a bro to say stuff girls couldn't. Frenchie broke down into a terrible crying jag when he'd gone. Fionna did her best to try and comfort her, but she didn't want comfort. She almost wanted to kill herself. Rising, she went out to their balcony and stood there staring into the darkness. Fionna quickly got up and followed her. Walking up behind her sister-in-law, Fi slipped her arms around the younger girl's shoulders and hugged her.

"I-I don't understand why you don't hate me," the pretty teen sobbed. "Why would I hate you, toast-face," murmured Fionna? "You did good. I think everybody was worried. We... needed that." "B-but, Bon...," stammered Frenchie. Shaking her head, Fi interrupted Frenchie, saying, "Bon needed to know about his mom. I... I was wrong..." Frenchie turned and just stared at her. Fi grinned her silly grin. Throwing her arms around Fi, Frenchie hugged her tight, finally feeling like she had a sister.

Breaking contact, Fionna said, "c'mon. You can help me pack up." Frenchie frowned. "I thought your dad said to stay put," she burbled. "But Shoko's in the Fire Kingdom," Fionna retorted! "If we can get there, I'm sure we'll be safe!" Frenchie nodded uncertainly. Following her sister-in-law back into the great hall, the breakfast person pitched in and started gathering in the sleeping gear.

That was where Bon and Patrick found them. Pat had been ready with a speech to try to change Fionna's mind. He'd listened to Bubba, talked through the logic with him, and he'd been swayed to the candy-prince's side. Now he found French Toast and Fi had everything in hand. His mouth came open. Fionna gave him her trademark grin. "C'mon," she said. "Let's get stuff loaded. I called the Flame King to let her know we're comin'." With a pointed look at her brother, the bad bunny said, "we can go to the Fire Kingdom. Pat can hit us with fireshield spells. We'll be safe there, and we can see Shoko and our peeps..." It was a sound argument. With a nod of acceptance, Bon stepped forward to help.

Meanwhile in the Fire Kingdom, Finn and Star stood at the foot of Shoko's bed thinking of the almost-tragedy that had nearly taken her from them. Somehow, in spite of Finn's precautions, they were here, with Shoko gravely injured. If that wasn't enough, Finn had needed to sneak out of the Candy Kingdom, leaving Billy to conduct the _investigation_ into the fire at the observatory by himself. The fact that Finn refused to even discuss what his youngest sister was up to was something else to drive the wedge between them, but with Billy still keeping house with Junior, they had little choice.

Both Finn and Star were devastated. Phoebe understood it. They felt as if they had involved Shoko in this. Even if she had pushed to participate, they still felt guilty about her fate. Of course, if they were upset, Randy was all but inconsolable. He'd sworn to protect her and failed. Even if this was all by Shoko's choice, felt like he had messed up. As Finn stood there at staring down at his youngest child, the elemental gathered up his courage and crossed the room to his side.

Wearing a hang-dog expression, the younger man said, "Captain, I failed to protect your daughter. I have no excuse..." Instead of showing anger, Finn clasped his hand and drew him into a bro-hug. Star had told him about how Randy and Shoko had hit it off. He understood. It was funny in a way. Shoko was her father's daughter–falling in love with what she knew she couldn't have. Softly, Finn said, "we're gonna' fix this, man. She's gonna' be ok. We got a good doctor on the case." Randy nodded, but he looked as if he might cry. Pumping his hand, Finn thanked him for looking after Shoko.

Hanging up her phone, Phoebe came over, saying, "you did the right thing, cousin." Turning to Finn, she asked, "is it safe for you to be here?" "Cherry's out of town," replied Finn. "She thinks I'm at home right now." His evil girlfriend (tm) was headed to Engagement Ring Kingdom to work on subverting the gangs there. "Right," said Phoebe. "That was the kids on the phone. I'm'a go pick up Bon, Fi, Patrick, and Frenchie and bring 'em back here." It was time they made a move.

As Phoebe headed out to go retrieve the kids, their rogue candy was finishing up a meeting of her own. Things had gone well with the small-time gangs in the Engagement Ring Kingdom. They had been making small money stealing small amounts of jewelry, recutting the stones, and then reselling them on the gray market. They didn't make big moves very often because they literally had no way to profit from it. Cherry's organization offered them a way to move the stones to safer climes, get them recut and sold, and then move the money back. Her organization and the jewel-thieves meshed very well indeed, and she'd had none of the anger and angst she'd gone through with Erickson or Plumly.

The thieves had treated her to a sumptuous meal that left her feeling actually rather stuffed, and she was sure that even Finn would finally have been satisfied. Her henchman was. Junior belched loudly as the pair settled into the limousine for the ride back to the hotel. She was a little plumper now–noticeably pregnant–and Cherry had asked about that a couple of times. As always, the shapechanger was evasive and even a little hostile. They had been having a lot of friction since she took up with Finn's son. Cherry had been tempted to suggest ways that Junior could shape Billy to _her_ will the way Cherry was slowly bending his father. She'd left it alone, though. She still needed Junior for this last, most important phase of the job, so why create distractions when they weren't really needed?

Cherry settled back in her seat, stroking her stomach absently. She had it all planned out. How the treefort was going to be burned down in one last outburst of violence from James's most loyal followers. She'd leaked evidence to Starchy that a Banana-Guard sniper had shot James, and he was going to run with the story on his late-night show. A few whispered words to James's mother would be the spark, and there would be a nice crowd of people outside Finn's home with a bone to pick with the Captain of the Guard.

She'd already created the bait that would have the pair home that day, making sure her two guests of honor were present. If she was lucky, that would also have Star home too, allowing her to get rid of three problems at once. Her pack of goons would be well-armed, and there would be far too many for the Ice-Queen and Huntress to manage between them. Simone and Emeraude would die, leaving Finn in her hands, free and clear. She'd already gotten rid of Shoko, and she'd set things in motion to be rid of Boniface. Fionna would be unfortunate collateral damage. When she'd done away with Bonnibel, Cherry would be the sole power in the Candy Kingdom, with Finn at her side.

She hadn't told him about their baby yet. She was planning on springing that on him when the whole plan fell into place. It was leverage. He would be distraught over the deaths of his precious Ice-Queen and Huntress, and he would probably blame her. But she would be _innocent_. She had layers of patsies between her and the dirty deed itself. And she had her ace in the hole. She knew he couldn't turn his back on a pregnant woman, especially when that woman was pregnant with _his_ child.

"You haven't told me your thoughts," murmured Cherry. Junior flushed and glanced out the window. She hadn't told this woman her thoughts because, deep down, she was a little horrified. She was torn, actually. She was split down the middle. She still loved her cousins, and, though she had no use for Bonnie Bubblegum and had grown to dislike her aunts and uncle, she didn't really wish them harm either. That said nothing of what this would do to Billy. He'd lose pretty much everybody all at one go. He'd lose his sisters. He'd lose his friends. He'd lose his mothers. He'd only have his father left–and he was certain to feel Finn was responsible. He'd end up hating his own dad.

A dark part of her reveled in that. That was likely the one thing that could change Billy. That was the one thing she could think of that would tear him off the lonely road of the hero. At the end of the day, she didn't really like Simone and Emeraude. The way they had treated her over the years had made the shapechanger almost _hate_ the pair of them. Finn still tried his best not to piss on her every chance he got. He was cold and distant to her, but he didn't piss on her the way those two did. He at least went through the motions of trying to be happy for she and Billy. Emeraude especially made it clear that she wished Junior would just disappear.

Darkness had been winning lately. Billy was a wreck, worried about the way his family seemed to be falling apart, and the dark knot in the center of her soul actually _liked_ that. Why should _he_ have such a happy home life? And if his family fell apart, then he would be hers completely. The only thing that kept darkness from winning was the obvious question. What would _her_ home life become when Billy had gone down that road into darkness? She liked him just fine the way he was.

"I'm going to leave," sighed Jake Junior. Cherry frowned at her. Turning to face her boss, Junior said, "you're about to destroy the only half of my family that actually _worked_. Billy's family was the only normal piece of our lives." Her family had been dysfunctional from the start. Her father was a party-animal. Fun was all that really mattered to him–likely because of his true parentage. Her family had drifted apart, with her dad moving out to live in a tiny apartment in town and her siblings scattering to the four winds. Kim had his businesses and family. Viola and Charlie had their lives, and TV lived in the place next door to her dad. They hardly spoke anymore. Finn's family had sort of held them all together, and though her aunts weren't exactly nice, they still invited Junior over to eat at their home right along with everybody else.

Junior said, "I'm leaving. I'm... I'm'a start over. Somewhere else." She'd been _dreaming_ about it. She spent most of her waking hours dreaming about starting over somewhere else. Billy could get a normal job doing normal things, and she could stay at home and raise the pups. "That life doesn't suit you, Junior," rumbled Cherry. "It can't suit you anymore than just practicing law would suit me. We've changed. Both of us." "Maybe," muttered Junior. But she was going to try anyway. It was time to move on. She planned to sell her car for the extra cash needed to relocate. The roads outside the Kingdom wouldn't support it anyway. "Alright," rumbled the crime-boss. "We'll settle up after the plan executes. You can go then with my blessing."

Meanwhile, Marshall Lee Abadeer flew up to the awful prison at the top of the mountain, praying with all his heart that his mother was still alive. The guilt was killing him. He'd hurt his mother, and he'd hurt Shoko. He felt like the worst piece of trash on Ooo. He'd had to scrounge up a bag to contain the arm because the sight of it caused agony every time he glanced at his hand. He wanted to kill Ash. Between bouts of depression and angst, he'd been thinking of killing the wizard the whole way back here. He bounced between thoughts of fiendish tortures he could try out on Ash and the simple thought of just snapping his neck like a twig, and there were moments where he had to stop and simply calm himself down. There was one thing that mattered right now. He had to get his mom out of that fucking cage. Only then could he take care of business.

The dhampir rapped on the door to his mother's prison, clutching the sack in a negligent grip. This time when the door opened, it wasn't the wizard. It was a candy-person. Frowning, Marshall floated in, demanding, "where's Ash?" The candy-person responded, "this way." Marshall followed, his eyes focused on the back of the gumdrop-man's head. His mind drifted, wondering what the candy-person's blood would taste like. Sugar? Would it be sugary? There was a hunger in him just now. He had a sudden, strange taste for blood.

The half-breed had to change where he was looking. He found himself staring at the walls–really looking at anything that _wasn't_ the candy-person. Did he keep looking at him, he'd end up tearing out the little bastard's throat and gobbling up all the sweet blood inside. _You have to keep it together, Marshall,_ thought the dhampir. _For mom's sake, you have to keep it together._ He was the only person who could get her out of here. If he gave in to the curse, he would be just as vulnerable to the sun as she was. They'd both die up here.

They found Ash sitting in front of his mother's cage, playing her guitar–really just strumming it off-key in an attempt to torment her. Marshall found the red-rimmed tide of rage rising in him. He wanted to kill Ash. It was becoming an obsession. Stopping out of reach of the wizard, the half-vampire growled, "I got what you asked for." At those words, his mother hung her head in shame, and Marshall felt even worse. Bonnie Bubblegum was his mother's best friend, and Shoko was Bonnie's kid. He couldn't tell her just yet that he hadn't killed Shoko. He needed to get her out of there.

Rising, Ash dropped the guitar to the ground for the effect. Both vampires knew such a light blow could hardly damage the axe-bass. It was forged from the evil shmegma of the Night-O-Sphere and thus indestructible. Still, it was the principle of the thing. It enraged Marshall that this bastard would treat his mother's one prized possession that way. Ash gave him a nervous chuckle as if he had some idea just how thin the ice was under his feet. "Heh, yeah, buddy," said the wizard. "Let's see that head."

Marshall had been rehearsing the lie the whole way back. He'd rehearsed it so long and so hard, he almost believed it himself. "I couldn't get the head," growled the dhampir, as he drew out his beloved sister's arm. "She set the room on fire with some kind of ray gun. An explosion brought the ceiling down on her. I could only get her arm off." He showed the disappointed wizard his sister's arm with her signet ring still on her finger. "Geez," groaned the wizard. "Nasty." He waved for the young teen to put his prize away. Shaking his head, he said, "didn't figure you'd do it, kid." He sounded even more nervous than before. "You have what you need," growled Marshall Lee. "Let my mother go."

"Tut-tut, chum," chuckled Ash. "Got t'get permission from the boss, first." He took the sack with the nasty evidence of Marshall Lee's duplicity and carried it back through the structure. Marshall turned to his mom and said, "I'm'a get you out, mom." "I don't want you to come back, Marshall," she growled! "I can't believe you killed your own sister!" "B-but, mom," he pleaded. "I'd rather die than spend another moment on the same earth as you," snarled Marceline! Those painful words hit so hard–even knowing Shoko was alive, he was still ashamed–that he fled the room.


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49:

Patrick slipped the last bag into place on Fi's truck and locked it. That was the last of the camping gear. It was doubtful that they would need it again, but you always had to be careful in the wilderness. Done with that, he took a good look around. He was kind of going to miss this place. He had grown here. This crazy experience had made him grow up. He still had a ways to go, but he had made a start. Fionna was part of that. It was a little weird, but she'd made him realize that he was using his beliefs as a _crutch_. He had gone down the path of walling himself off for what he thought were good reasons. In reality, he'd let his own cowardice keep him in darkness.

 _But not anymore, bud,_ he thought. He'd gotten the girl after all. He'd put in effort, and he'd gotten the girl. He still risked losing her. Every day he risked having Fi get bored of their shared life. Still, he would have the courage to face whatever came and the confidence to try again if things didn't work for them. And he would always love Fi and remember what they'd shared here.

As he daydreamed of tomorrows yet to come, his sensitive ears registered a slight noise. Crouching behind the truck, he listened intently. Much to his terror, he heard whispered voices and then the sound of a blade being jammed into one of their tires. The Thief King had caught up to them! Rising in one fluid motion, Patrick tore out of there, leaving a pack of surprised mutants in his wake. Arrows, stones, and throwing knives chased him down the mouth of the cave as a gravelly voice snarled, "after him!" Patrick went zig-zagging through the cave's throat as screams announced the killers had found some of Fi's traps.

Patrick came rushing into the great hall to find his girl and his best friend both armed and waiting as they pondered going after him. They'd heard the commotion and feared the worst. Now Patrick confirmed their fears with, "thief-King's guys are here!" Grimly Fionna grabbed the heavy iron pot lid she'd picked up as a shield, then headed back the way Pat had come. After a moment, Bon and Pat followed. Frenchie was left behind, but she'd hit on her own part to play here. She went and dumped fuel on the coals of the fire they had just put out. Then she grabbed her phone to make an emergency call.

Fionna could hear the shouting and screams of the Thief-King's dudes as she raced up the hall, sword in hand. Arriving at the entry, she found a half-dozen dudes already down and many more injured. The bad Penny herself was there urging them on. Nobody was much up for crossing the hall though. The traps had done a lot of damage–punctured feet, broken legs, and a couple bloody stumps. "Get her," howled Penny! "Get that bitch!" "Come get me yourself, scarface," retorted Fionna. "I always wanted to top my dad at something..." The implications of that comment weren't lost on Penny. Thief King shoved one of her minions forward, kicking and cursing at him.

The thug immediately went wrong, stepping on a caltrop and impaling his foot. There were caltrops buried all through the loose sand Fionna had scattered there in the entry. She'd been at that for days when Patrick was being a dick to her. There was only one safe pathway through, and she wasn't about to share it with them. Instead, she goaded them. "You won't live to collect whatever money she's offering," said the pretty blonde. "Even if you do, you'll either be crippled for life or on the run from my dad and brother." "I said to get her," snarled Penny! "Get that bitch!" "Or is it pussy she's offering," asked the blonde bunny? Hefting one big booby, Fionna the Human Girl said, "you won't live to get any. You can ask her son about that..."

She'd hoped to infuriate Penny, and it almost worked. The nasty bitch almost went charging into that minefield herself. Catching herself inches from one of the traps, Penny instead leveled the dart-rifle she was carrying and let fly. Fionna heard a girlish scream behind her. Then somehow her sword moved to block the dart. "Wow," she murmured. She'd seen her dad do that a couple of times, and she'd been amazed. Now it looked like she could do it too. Penny emptied the dart-rifle at her, and the crystal sword deflected every last one of those darts, even sending one back at the evil old bitch. "C'mon," growled Fionna. "Is that the best you can do?"

The Thief King was in the middle of reloading when she said it. Aiming the dart-gun at the back of one of the more frightened men, Penny shot him in the back of the head, killing him stone dead. "Anybody else want to loaf," demanded the evil woman. The thieves charged across that space. They had just two choices–certain death from their master or possible survival if they managed to get lucky and miss the traps. As Boniface Bubblegum looked on in horror, the first two ranks of the invaders got horribly maimed and mutilated, with one even disappearing through a hole that Fionna had fiendishly hidden with a straw mat and covered over with dirt. Patrick's concern was only for the woman he'd won and just as suddenly nearly lost. Grabbing Fi by the shoulders, he dragged her back into the hall.

As the first of the thugs entered the hallway, Patrick killed him with a lightning bolt. "Need a wall, Pat," shouted Fionna. "Chest high. Across the entire hallway." Patrick didn't know what she was planning, but he gave her just what she was asking for. The thieves stacked up there in front of that wall, and Fionna mowed them down, swinging that crazy sword in great overhand arcs. Heads went missing. Arms came off at the shoulder, spraying his girl with blood as Penny's thugs tried to climb that wall. Several of the men produced crossbows and opened fire on her, but they might as well have not bothered. Patrick wasn't sure how she was doing it, but somehow Fi could block just about everything they threw at her.

Her sword swooped and darted, slashing and chopping like it had a life of its own. She would cut and maim the men trying to come over that wall, but the sword was always there to block an arrow or a thrown dagger like Fionna could see them coming before they were hurled. Patrick saved his strength. This was about the long game. The Flame King was coming to escort them to her kingdom. They just had to hold on until Phoebe could get there.

Slowly the thugs piled up at the barrier began to knock it down. The day was warm, the ice thin, and the stone floor offered it no real purchase. Slowly the ice came down, and the thugs began to get over it. Fionna fell back, and Patrick took up the thread again, hurling shards of ice and exploding men from the inside out. When frontal charges failed, the men in back fired arrows at him. His girl was johnny-on-the-spot to deflect those arrows, her sword chopping them out of the air in mid-flight. Still there were a whole lot of those dudes, and they just piled on until the teens were pushed back and back.

Flankers slipped into the hallways on either side, hoping to circle around the pair. Patrick took grim satisfaction in hearing their screams as they encountered more of his girl's handiwork. He gave Fionna a thin, tight smile. Fi grinned back at her boyfriend. This was the most fun she'd had in forever. The gangsters pressed closer and closer in the hallway, though. With each passing moment, more and more of them pressed in against Fionna until it looked as though the Thief King had emptied Thief City.

"Where the fuck are all these guys coming from," growled Patrick?! "She made phone-calls," muttered Fionna. "Open Season on Fionna's pussy." Every mutant within four-hundred miles had shown up to have a piece. Patrick goggled at her. "Face front, Pat," growled Fi. Pat was a little irritated at that bitch himself. She'd basically made his girlfriend guest of honor at a rape-party. He would gleefully have set Penny ablaze in the street! Acting on anger, the wizard hurled a particularly potent ice-spell, freezing a few dozen of those perverts in their tracks.

The sick bastards kept coming though, smashing the frozen dead aside to get at the prize. Fionna and Pat backed up all the way to the great hall. "Who are all these guys," Frenchie howled? Bon, who'd been trying to fashion a rope ladder, had stopped in the middle when he found thugs waiting down below. Now he was engaged in trying to keep them from coming up. "I'm hot," said Fi. "What can I say?" Patrick growled something unpleasant. That wasn't funny in the least.

The thieves were starting to work their way through the traps, and now the quartet found themselves surrounded. Thief King came strolling in then. Surveying the scene, the evil woman said, "well, we meet again, bunny rabbit..." "Fuck you," Fionna retorted. "No, bunny," said Penny, "it's _you_ who's going to be fucked..." "You're not takin' her," growled Pat! Penny howled laughter. "You going to stop me, wimp," she chuckled?

Fionna taunted her, saying, "more a man than your dork of a kid! He doesn't have to get it at knife point!" Penny screamed at her. "He was a little pencil-dick," laughed Fionna. "He didn't have the guts to try!" Blinded by rage, Penny howled, " _kill them all!_ " When her lieutenant tried to remind her about what she'd promised the ruler of Oceanside, she shot him, snarling, "he can fuck the corpse!" As the thugs surged forward, Fionna prepared to make them pay in blood. That was when the elemental surged up and out of the bonfire Frenchie had built with their remaining fuel.

Phoebe came dressed in a diaphanous black gown that was as sinister as it was beautiful. Fionna couldn't really help thinking that her dad had good reason for having the hots for the Flame King. Striding into the middle of the room, the soft silicon cloth flowing in the breeze from her flames, Phoebe the Flame King snarled, "last man in this room is first to die." The room erupted then. Men ran. The weak, the craven, and the wise fled. Some went diving over the balcony. Others rushed the doors through which they'd come. The rest–the stubborn and those unable to escape–faced down the wrath of a hostile elemental.

Phoebe hurled scorching bolts of flame into one packed mass, and Fionna could feel the heat and the concussive blast as they detonated, shredding men whole. Bon covered his wife's eyes, shielding her from the awful sight of men being blasted asunder. Stubborn to the last, the Thief King leveled the dart-rifle and emptied it at Fionna and the Flame King both. Fionna deflected the steel headed her way, sending splinters back at Penny. The madwoman shrieked as the little bits of metal tore her skin, but she hung tough. She hung tough right up until the point where Phoebe pulled a half-melted steel spike out of her chest and held it up to the light. All the color drained from Penny's face as the dart melted to nothing before her very eyes.

Terrified by the sight of the elemental melting her best weapon as if it were nothing, Penny threw the empty dart gun away and raced towards the balcony. Phoebe hurled a tiny bolt of flame, setting her tattered dress alight as the Thief King threw herself over the balcony railing. "Bitch," muttered the Flame King. Turning to Fionna, the fire elemental strode over, uttering words of power as she walked. Fionna was startled to be hit with a flame shield spell, then even more startled to be snatched up by the older woman, who hugged her hard enough that it hurt. "Breaking the ribs," wheezed Fionna. "Finn and Simone've been so worried about you," breathed Phoebe. Breaking that embrace, the elemental said, "I'd have been here sooner, but I had to build a fire first."

She'd gotten Frenchie's frantic message about the attack and stopped right where she was. Unfortunately, she was a fire-elemental. Gathering up fuel for a fire without setting the rest of the forest ablaze had taken a little work. Fionna gave her a grin much like her father's and said, "no biggie. We were holding our own." Phoebe chuckled. She sounded just like her dad. "C'mon," said the elemental. "Let's go. I'm'a take you back to my home. You'll be safe there." As they followed Phoebe back up to the entrance, Fionna turned to Frenchie and hugged her, saying, "that was smart. If you hadn't lit that fire, we'd have been toast!" Frenchie blushed and giggled in delight at the praise.

Phoebe had a trio of Fire Wolves to take them out of there, and the quartet climbed aboard for the swift ride back to the Fire Kingdom. Excited by the day and thrilled to be alive after the harrowing fight in their hideout, Frenchie clung to her hubby and watched the world go by far below them. She had seen so much the last few weeks and had adventures that she would never have believed she could have. Now she was about to experience one more. From being horrified by what she was asked to put up with and terrified of what was going to happen to her, she'd come to embrace the experience for what it was. She'd carry these memories the rest of her days with Bon and pass them on to their kids.

Finn and Star were waiting when the quartet arrived in the Fire Kingdom. Phoebe whisked them straight to her private quarters, shutting out the curious and anybody she didn't implicitly trust. She knew from talking to Bonnie that every kingdom on Ooo had its spies in every other kingdom, and she was taking no chances today–not with her best friends' kids. The minute he saw his kids, Finn strode across the room, grabbed his daughter and hugged her just as hard as Phoebe had. "Does everybody want to break my ribs," muttered Fionna? Flushing, Finn stepped back. Turning to his son, he greeted the young prince with, "Bon." "I-is my mother...," stammered Boniface?

Finn took him by the shoulders and steered him to a couch. "Truth is, we don't know," said Finn. "We think we know where she's been held, but we don't know if she's ok or not." Star came up then, saying, "they've been playing pretty hard, Bubs. They tried to have Marshall kill Shoko. Guess they thought since she knew him, she wouldn't suspect." Bon tried to leap to his feet, but Finn had anticipated that. "He didn't hurt her, Bon," said Finn. Randy rumbled, "I did." Bon looked up to find a fire elemental standing there dressed like a soldier. "I... She insisted," the elemental murmured. "They have the Queen of Vampires," Randy explained. Bon understood immediately, and he looked for all the world as though he was overwhelmed.

Turning to Finn, he asked, "do we know...?" Finn cut him off with, "we don't even know how they managed to grab Marceline or when they took her..." He felt a little guilty about that himself. After learning about Marcy's deception, he hadn't lifted a finger to try and talk things out. He'd vowed to fix that if he got the chance, but that had to wait.

In the now, Finn dragged the conversation back to the thread that he'd been tugging at before the prince arrived. "Cherry's got her prizes," said Finn. "She's got a working copy of the decorpsinator serum and the cloning formula." "She doesn't need my mom anymore," sighed Boniface. Nodding, Star said, "but we've isolated the places they could be holding Bonnie to four old buildings. One's the old coffin factory on the south side of town. Two are cold-storage buildings in Chocago, and the last one's a paint factory in Candy Town that hasn't made any paint in years." They had all been fortified with bricked up windows on the lower levels and bars on the upper floors. They all had formidable armed security.

Nodding, Bon said, "so what's the plan, Captain? How are you going to do this?" "We'll hit all four spots at once," said Finn. "I've got a hundred guys–just enough to do the work. The paint factory's a little dangerous. There's still chemicals stored there..." "Then I'll take that one," Fionna announced. At Finn's frown, the leggy blonde strode forward, saying, "I'm tired of hangin' out and waiting, dad. I want to bash that little bitch in the face." "Better deputize her," chuckled Star, as she thumbed the badge on her belt. Fionna frowned down at her sister's waist. "Y-you...," stammered the warrior-girl?! "Yup," chuckled Star. It was everything Fionna had ever wanted. Only Star had gotten there first.

Finn interrupted the jealous hostilities with, "alright, Fi. Raise your right hand..." When she had, he turned to his son and asked, "mind doing the honors?" Blushing a little and bemused at the same time, Bon administered the oath of office to his sister, just like his mother always did it. Patrick stepped up alongside his girlfriend and said, "better read me on too, Bubba." The candy prince administered the oath to his friend as well. Then he turned to his dad and asked, "do we know which of these places is most certain?" Finn knew exactly where he was going with that. "You're going to stay here, Bon," said Finn. "I'm not the sole heir, dad," replied Bon, "and I want to mete out justice on the people who've been holding my mom." Finn put his phone on the table and said, "okay, son. Let's do this."


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50:

"Finn," called Emeraude? "Finn, are you here?" She looked around her in puzzlement and suspicion. Her home of seventeen years looked no different than before. If anything, it was cleaner and less cluttered. If Simone had been here to dust, it would have been perfect. Shutting the door and locking it for good measure, Huntress doffed her cloak and went up the stairs, listening intently for intruders as she went.

Arriving in their kitchen, she found everything in its place just like Simone stepped out for a minute. You would almost have expected to see three hungry kids come storming up the stairs. Emeraude Mertens looked around a little, finding the kids' rooms to be more tidy than they'd ever been. There were no dirty socks and football gear in Fionna's room. Star's room didn't hold the surprise of discarded scraps from brain-storming her way through term papers. Nor did Billy's room stink of glue from his hobbies. That last kind of hurt. She missed the babies. They were hers as much as Simone's, and she missed them.

Shaking that off, the wizard climbed the stairs to the master suite, finding her unease coming back. She hadn't been sleeping well for weeks now, and she knew part of it was missing her bed and what was usually in it. Edging up the stairs, she worked the angle, slowly creeping around the corner until she could see the room. Nothing. Letting out a relieved breath, the wizard walked up into their bedroom and sat down on the bed. No Simone. The message had suggested Simone was hurt. What was going on? Did she dare call Finn?

Miles away, Billy heard one of the helicopters the Heavy Boys used settle onto the roof of the headquarters. He wasn't quite sure what was going on there. The pack of them had shown up, signed out weapons, and scooted out the door without even a word to him. With Spike gone, he was lieutenant, and it bothered him that something was going on that he didn't know about. Unfortunately, that had more or less become the story of his life. There were forces moving and things happening that he didn't know or understand, and he wasn't happy with it. In spite of the kind words when they took down James, his father had remained distant and uncommunicative. He continued to take strange trips out of town with no warning, and his mothers continued to stay away. Now, as he watched a small group of Heavy Boys come through the door from the stairs, he found himself wondering if this was the last straw.

Finn pushed through to the front of the pack. Surveying the guards in the room, he said, "everybody report downstairs to the prison level. Leave your keys, weapons, and equipment on your desks. We'll get this all sorted soon, but for now just do what you're told." Nodding at the Heavy Boys, he said, "these fellas are going to take care of you." Billy frowned at him as the older man came across the room. He was so intent on his father that he missed the fact that his sister was there along with one other, who'd come dressed in the uniform of a pilot. "Need to see you in my office, Bill," Finn announced as he came up.

Billy rose, and that's when he saw Fionna. Fionna wouldn't look at him, though. Worried more now than ever before, Billy lay his weapon and equipment on the desk. "Phone too," said Finn with a sigh. Frown deepening slightly, Billy drew his phone from his pocket and set that next to his blade. Finn stepped off, and his eldest son fell in behind him, face gone sour with repressed anger. As the Heavy Boys rounded up the rest of the guards, the quartet went into Finn's office and shut the door.

"Ok, dad," muttered Billy, "you finally going to tell me what this is about?" "Treason," announced Boniface Bubblegum, as he doffed the helmet he'd worn as a disguise. Billy spun about to see his younger brother standing there like a ghost. He'd half worried that Bonnie's kids had just disappeared. Finn sat down at his desk as his son turned to face him. "I've wanted to tell you this so many times, Bill," said the older man. "I've thought of ways to approach this, but there was no safe way to do it..." Billy got a sinking feeling. The door opened again, admitting a smaller figure, and, in spite of the black colors she wore and the ink daubed on her face, Billy instantly recognized Star. Star who was now wearing a badge on her belt. "Her too," growled the young man?! "You lied to me!"

Star nodded. Staring him straight in the eye, she said, "I don't have an excuse, Bill. I can only say I'm sorry. I got us into this, and I've just been trying to get us out. A lot of this is my fault. I... was stupid. I believed her." "Believed _who_ ," demanded Billy? He turned to his father and demanded, "what're you talking about?" "Junior's guilty of treason, Bill," rumbled Finn. "She's been working for the top gangster in the Candy Kingdom. For years." Billy's jaw came unhinged. Then, just as Finn had expected, he began to dissemble, trying to put patches on his wife's negative behavior, explaining away the signs he'd ignored. Finn cut through that, asking, "who's the one person on Ooo that Star would rather protect than anybody else?" Billy retorted, "ordinarily, I'd say that was me..." His face whipped around to face his sister. Sadly, Star nodded.

"It started out with her saying that some guy was hassling her, Billy," said the younger teen. "She had a record, and she wasn't supposed to have weapons..." Billy grabbed at his hair as he realized how badly he'd been duped. He turned to leave, and they all knew he was going to confront his wife. "Bill," snapped Finn! The younger man spun around, his face slowly flip-flopping between an angry red and a shocking paleness. Calmly, Finn said, "are you my lieutenant or not, Bill? That's what you have to decide. Right here. Right now. We don't have time for revenge. We have just tonight to fix this. We have to rescue Princess Bonnibel, and we have to round up the gangsters. I need you, but if you can't step up..." Calm again, Billy rumbled, "ok."

Elsewhere, the object of Billy's thoughts headed out to a borrowed four-wheeler with a stomach that gurgled and rumbled with the morning-noon-and-night pregnancy-sickness that she couldn't quite shake and a guilty conscience threatening to overwhelm her. She was going to do it. She was going to kill her aunts. She'd been thinking about this quite a bit the last few days. She'd known Simone and Emeraude most of her life. Though she didn't really like either, their presence was a defining part of her life. There were birthdays and anniversaries and holidays and family reunions, and, strangely enough, when her father frequently forgot her birthday, Simone always sent a card. Always.

Beyond the memories, they were Billy's mothers. He was defined by the way they raised him. He'd learned to read from Simone, and he'd learned about girls from Emeraude. So they had made the man she so desperately loved, building him piece by piece. The two of them had all but built Junior's world.

And she was going to kill them.

She'd been telling herself that Cherry's thugs would do the job. They'd trap the pair inside her dad's old place and burn it to the ground. She'd fantasized that the two would be surprised in bed somehow and just never have a chance. _Just like James, huh,_ she thought? Cherry had set things up for Finn to whack that head-case, but just like Junior had said, Finn was far too difficult to control. Junior had needed to get it done herself. She'd shot the idiot through the chest and done him in right there. It was a certainty James's incompetent friends would fail, and Junior would complete her descent into evil. The mote of darkness in her heart was going to win. Wiping at tears, the shapechanger started the truck, put it in gear, and set out.

As the shapechanger headed out to do one more ugly deed for her master, the second of her victims let herself into her home to find a familiar cloak hanging there. Simone frowned at her phone once more. Finn hadn't said a word about calling Emeraude. _But she's as much Fionna's mother as I am,_ thought the wizard. "I don't like this, punkin," Simon declared. Grimly, Betty nodded. After doing all he could to keep Simone and Emeraude–indeed his whole family–away, it hardly made sense for Finn to send for them now. There was something else afoot. With everything that had been going on, she didn't think it was a good idea for Simone to stay here.

With her lovely face contorted in a frown, Simone reached out and fingered E's coat. It was warm against her fingers, and she could smell the other woman's scent. It wasn't Finn alone that had kept them apart. With assassins stalking them, the two women had agreed to avoid each other's company so that _one_ of them might survive to support Finn and the kids. Now Simone found herself climbing the stairs in fear of what she'd find. Alarmed, Simon set out after her, calling out to his daughter. Simon and Betty ended up following the younger woman to the top of the stairs where they found her standing in the middle of the kitchen hugging the wood-nymph as the two women cried on each other.

Betty glanced away. She'd never managed to understand that. How did the two women manage not to kill each other? Breaking contact, Emeraude said, "you shouldn't be here!" Nodding, Simone said, "someone wants us here..." Drawing her phone, the Ice-Queen showed the Huntress the message their husband sent. Staring at the phone, the wood-nymph murmured, "sent from his phone. Like mine. Finn's in Fire-Kingdom. Why would he send this?" "He didn't," Betty declared. " _She_ did." Simon's hackles went up as his wife said, "Simone's right. She _wants_ you here, and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if she's not mounting a move on the two of you." Nodding, Simon said, "she's right girls. We shouldn't stay."

Softly, Simone replied, "we _have_ to stay, daddy..." Pulling at his hair, Simon howled, "but that doesn't make sense! Simone, she means to kill you both! You're in her way!" She'd latched onto Finn, and she meant to _keep_ him. Nodding, Emeraude replied, "which means she's focused on _us_ , Simon. That gives Finn a chance to execute his plan." Simon looked stricken, but Betty was already moving on. "If we're staying, we need to fortify this place. C'mon' we'll block the windows downstairs..."

Hundreds of miles north, Marshall Lee Abadeer was climbing the walls of his mother's awful prison. Ash hadn't released her. The Vampire Queen was still in that awful cell, and Marshall was beside himself with fear and anger. The bastard claimed he was waiting on permission. His mysterious master, somewhere in the Candy Kingdom, wanted Marceline held here. She was a danger to them somehow. Marshall halfway feared it was Bonnie Bubblegum herself. She knew all about his mother's vulnerabilities. If anybody could devise such a potent trap for a vampire, it was her. At the same time, why would Bonnie want to harm her own kid? Something else was afoot, but he had no idea what, and he'd never been good with riddles.

Marshall did his best to try and work his way through it all, but it was hard with the handicaps he had right now. He was angry. He was so very angry. He had hurt his sister to save his mother, and his mother had turned around and rejected him for that very act. He was angry because he was here in this place when he wanted so very much to be somewhere–anywhere–else. He was angry because he'd been throwing happiness away in Engagement Ring Kingdom. Connie would have happily been his woman for the rest of her days, and he had been looking for the out–looking for a way to escape. She was older, but she wasn't a hag, and there was stuff he could do to extend her life. He just hadn't given enough of a damn to try.

And that led him right back around to what was really bugging him. He was angry at himself because he was dreadfully selfish. He was just as selfish as she who raised him. Rather than admit his failings and try to change his spots, he was doing all the bad things his mother used to do. When Marceline got tired of the hassle of dealing with somebody else's emotions, she just walked away. How else to explain that two of the oldest people in the world had drifted so far apart so quickly and wound up so often at odds. Of all his mother's friends, Bonnie was the closest, but, strangely, the farthest. They were close enough to be lovers, but they were rivals as often as they were friends.

Marshall had become just like her.

 _No, bud,_ he thought. _I became worse._ His mother had an excuse. Her daddy–her real one–was a demon. She hadn't had Simon long enough to learn anything better from him. She'd been a kid who'd had to raise herself in a place that had literally become hell on earth. He had a father who'd loved him unconditionally without even knowing they were father and son. He'd had two wonderful brothers who were happy to spend their time on him, and he'd had three of the best sisters a dude could have. And he'd been forever pissing on all of them. If Marceline the Vampire Queen was an asshole, she had reasons. What reasons did _he_ have? His selfish ways had put he and his mother in a deadly prison up here in the mountains, far from their friends and family, and he didn't see a way out of it. He feared his mother was going to die up here. And what was he going to do then?

And that led into the hunger.

It had come up on him slowly while he'd been sitting here in the dark, stewing. He'd sat here in the dark pondering how to get his mother into this room and wondering if Ash had any more vampire-traps. As he'd sat here, he'd begun to grow hungrier and hungrier. He craved... _something_. He didn't even know what it was, but he was afraid. He was afraid of the hunger he felt. He feared that, did he stay much longer, he would do something terrible, and he knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he did. They were going to die up here. They were both going to die up here.

Back in the Candy Kingdom, Cherry Cream Soda stood in front of a full-length mirror in exclusive Nancy De Brienne's, modeling a satiny maternity dress. On the table beside her was a glass of water. She'd made herself switch to that in a conscious effort to fight the habit that had come creeping up on her over the last seventeen years. She was edging towards being an alcoholic, and she hadn't realized it until now. She drank. Consistently. She drank wine with nearly every meal, telling herself it was a reward or that it was to steady her nerves. Now she was having to consciously tell herself that drinking was out of the question. She wouldn't be having any and jeopardizing her child– _Finn's_ child.

How long had she been drinking? She couldn't have said, honestly. Likely it started the day Rootbeer was put in the ground. She knew that Finn was a steadying influence, and she didn't drink as much when he was around. With him in the Candy Kingdom working and her here in the Elbow Kingdom, she was feeling the strain again.

Things were moving fast now. They were moving so fast, she feared something would slip her grasp somehow and wreck the whole business. Junior, her unreliable henchman, was going to supervise the burning of the treehouse tonight. Starchy was already involved in his program. Hundreds of thousands of candy-people across Ooo were hearing the dreadful news that the Banana Guard had executed James like a dog with their Captain in full attendance. She'd given Penny the location of Fionna and her friends, and she had Marceline the Vampire Queen under lock and key. That would prevent the nasty old bitch from interfering in the death of her bestie. And that led down to the grand finale of the evening.

Cherry was going to be there herself.

She'd decided that she would have to be there herself just to be sure. Some got squeamish at the idea of doing in their princess, and Cherry had no time for that tonight. It was time for Bonnie Bubblegum to go. Cherry had a lot of loose-ends to tie up to earn her happy ending.

 **And so it begins. Sorry for the cliffhanger. Couldn't finish it in one go.**


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51:

Emeraude, the once and former Huntress, lay awake staring at the ceiling, pondering whether or not to even bother trying to stay in bed. She knew she needed the sleep. Both of them did. Neither had been sleeping well lately, and she knew why. Finn was gone. He wasn't here with them. She'd grown accustomed to hearing _two_ heartbeats in bed when she slept.

People had asked her if she and Simone got it on when Finn wasn't around, and she'd politely declined to answer the question. Not that they did, mind you, but it wasn't any of those people's business what she did in her bedroom. They _slept_ together, nothing more. But it was _odd_ not to feel Simone here with her, and it was more odd not to feel Finn.

"Can't sleep," murmured Simone? Emeraude sighed, "yeah." When she glanced over, she found her best friend staring back with an expression of sympathy. They were both hurting. The summer where they were supposed to be relaxed and enjoying life with their kids–nearly the last year they would have the kids around–they had been exiled from their home, and their husband had been with _her_. The other woman. Only she wasn't just the other woman. She was a vile murderess who'd been threatening their family, and they had all lived in terror of what she would do next.

As if echoing Emeraude's thoughts, Simone opined, "at least the kids are safe." Mostly they were. Fionna, Bon, and Shoko were in the Fire-Kingdom. Star had gone there to look in on Shoko. It was killing both women to know that Billy might well be with Junior right now. Junior who'd duped Star into being her assassin. Junior who had contributed so much to creating this disastrous situation. They didn't know where Finn was. With the madwoman tapping their phones, neither dared call him. Emeraude and Simone were all alone in the house right now. At least it felt that way with their husband and their brood gone. Betty and Simon were downstairs sleeping in Billy's room. They had everything buttoned up tight, but Simone still felt a little afraid.

Their foe was a very dangerous woman. She'd managed to put all this together right under Finn's nose, and Finn had a crazy talent for sniffing out trouble that even Emeraude found astonishing. It was like bad dudes just tripped over their own feet when he went walking by. Somehow Cherry Cream Soda had managed to put all this together under Finn's nose over the last seventeen years. She'd trapped Finn so utterly, that he'd been in despair of getting them out of it. And if happy-go-lucky Finn was in a state of depression, his wives were devastated. "I-I'd rather just get up," said the wood-nymph. Chuckling, Simone said, "I'll get the coffee..."

The two beautiful women got up and went downstairs in their nightgowns–Huntress in purple and Ice-Queen in ice-blue. They found Betty down there sitting at the kitchen table playing solitaire in a set of Fionna's PJs. She looked a little silly that way, and Emeraude chuckled at the sight. Frowning at the pair, Betty said, "I can't believe you still let her dress this way..." The PJs were too small for near-grown Fionna, and the only thing they had to recommend them were the silly bunny pictures scattered all over them and the cute little cotton-tail on the rump. Simone chuckled, "try raising daddy's little girl sometime."

When her daughter had learned why her daddy chose the name he chose for her, Fionna had adopted the persona with every fiber of her being. She _was_ the cute little bunny-girl from Simon's fan-fiction, even if she was five-foot, eleven with broad hips, and boobies the size of bowling-balls. The more she did it, the more affection her daddy showed her. He didn't _want_ her to grow up and change.

Betty gave Simone an ironic look. She'd sort of been trying to 'raise' Simone for seventeen years now with patchy success. She'd been pushing for the younger woman to woman-up and stop letting Finn walk all over her. In her mind, Simone could be teaching or out doing wonderful things to make the world a better place. She was wasted here in this house chasing kids around and picking up after slovenly Finn Mertens. That was a gripe for another time, though. "Couldn't sleep," she asked? Blushing, the wood-nymph nodded. With a heavy sigh, she admitted, "missing Finn." And the fear of soda-girl's fucking thugs showing up sure wasn't helping. Gathering up the cards, Betty began to shuffle them, saying, "sit down. We'll play cards."

Hundreds of miles away, Marshall Lee Abadeer sat watching Ash as he talked on the phone with his mysterious employer. The wizard had been talking off and on with his employer all 'day', whatever that was. It was hard to tell how long he'd been here when there was no day and night. He'd been back and forth with that cocksucker repeatedly, going around and around in the same thin circle. Why couldn't they go? Why did his mother have to sit in that fucking cell? They'd gotten what they wanted. Ash never gave any indication he knew that Shoko was still alive. So why was he still holding them here?

As the young man watched, he clutched at his stomach, fighting the hunger there. He needed to get out of here. This was killing him. Finally, the wizard hung up the phone. Turning to face the boy-rocker, Ash put on a grin and said, "hey, kid... I got news..." "Yeah," growled Marshall? "Boy, you sure don't sound good," Ash chuckled. He had his hands down his pockets, and that worried the young man. "Take your hands out of your pockets," growled Marshall. "Huh," burbled the puzzled wizard? "Oh. Haha. Yeah, kid. Sure." He drew his hands out of his pocket and away from the remote control. The kid made him laugh.

As he approached, he calmly said, "my employer came to a decision, kid. She thought about it... Kind of hashed it out with her leadership team... And... well, we kinda' don't need you guys anymore." That sounded hopeful. If they didn't need Marshall and his mom, he could go get her some clothes to put on and maybe a coat to cover her, and they could get out of here. Raising his wand, Ash said, "I mean, as in... she really doesn't need you two around. See, she's killing Bonnie Bubblegum, and we don't need your ma goin' all vengeful and shit."

The blast from the wand hurled Marshall Lee Abadeer across the room, slamming him into a wall. As Marshall howled in pain, the wizard hit him again, flattening him. "Have to say, your ma was a lot tougher, kid," chuckled the wizard. "You're kind of a wimp." Marshall crawled away from him, pain seeming to set his skin on fire. "Gonna' miss your old ma," said Ash. "Mmm, mmm, mmm, that was good pussy. You ever get to fuck a girl in the ass? Wish I'd gotten to try that, 'cause that ass sure is nice..." He hit the boy with another force-bolt, pinning him down on the ground, then he began to literally try to squash the life out of the half-breed.

"Why...," gasped Marshall?! "Why're you d-doin' this?!" Ash squatted down next to him and said, "I could lie and say it wasn't personal, kid, but it is. See, I'd have been willing to do this for free. Bitch betrayed me. She dumped me. Kicked me out of our place and put me on the street for a fucking teddy-bear. A fucking teddy-bear! After all I did for her, she does _that_?! Who fucking does that, man?!" Throwing up his hands and shaking his head, Ash straightened. "Then she starts hangin' with that fucking norm," he growled! "I can't believe she'd trust him over _me_! I mean, _really_! A fucking loser like that?!"

He went down the list of his grievances against the Vampire Queen, telling the young man all about why the wizard hated his mother. "And then, when I'd come back to straighten shit out with her, she goes back to that fucking norm anyway," shouted Ash! "Nah, man... I was never gonna' let you go. I was just waitin' on permission to whack you two turds." He administered a savage kick to Marshall's ribs. "Fucking norm-blood, man," growled the wizard! "She let that fucking piece of shit knock her up, man! That was _my_ pussy!"

He scarcely noticed the way the boy's eyes were starting to glow. He hardly noticed that the young half-breed was increasingly ignoring the pain being inflicted. Somewhere inside Marshall, something gave way. The stopper came off a remote reservoir of darkness. It had been dribbling inside him for years, and now it finally began to empty, flowing out and washing through him like a flood of ice cold _rage_.

The vampire caught Ash's ankle in mid-strike. He held it there as a surprised Ash struggled in his grip. And then the angry vampire hurled the wizard across the room. The wizard's henchmen, many of whom had gathered to watch the wizard do-in the Vampire Queen and her half-breed son, stared in terror as the slim boy rose to his feet, shaking off the spell that had pinned him to the ground. His visage grew longer, and hair erupted from his body as he grew six feet in that enclosed space. His body bulked up, and his teeth extended. Claws like daggers extended from his now-massive hands.

And then he was among them.

As Ash watched in terror, his bowels emptying, the vampire began to tear his henchmen apart. Marshall Lee Abadeer tore the head off one of the mutants. As the hot blood spurted from his neck, the massive man-beast put the severed neck to his lips and drank deep, sucking at his veins like from a straw until there was no more crimson to be had. Then he hurled the body away and went for the next.

Hundreds of miles to the south, Boniface Bubblegum rappeled down to the roof of a forgotten cold-storage building in the port-town of Chocago. His father had said there was a pretty good chance that this was the place his mother had been hidden. Bon wasn't so sure. He had doubts, and none of them revolved around their foe. A lot of them revolved around Finn himself. The young man knew, logically, what a father felt. It was a father's job to keep his children out of harm's way, even when said children were nearly grown men themselves. More, the young prince knew that Finn had a very old-fashioned sense of the way the world worked. Royals shouldn't be risking their necks. They should be at home, giving orders, and waiting on the response. That just wasn't going to work for Bon.

He'd gone along to get along. Finn had made it clear that Bon wasn't going to go along with _him_. Not even Billy was going with him. He'd couched it in phrases meant to distract from the obvious. Finn knew where Princess Bubblegum was, and he was bound and determined to handle that most dangerous mission himself. And if they were too late, he was bound and determined to shield his kids from the consequences. Bon had resigned himself to the fact that he wouldn't be first through the door and not even first after his father. What he _was_ going to do was get through this mission and get his team back to the capitol as fast as he could.

Frenchie had given him some bittersweet news today. He was a dad. He was going to be a father. He was excited about that, but it made this mission more complicated. More to the point, he wasn't sure what he was going to tell his mother. He knew she more or less wanted him pursuing Frenchie. So much so, in fact, that she hadn't done much to restrict them from sleeping together. He wasn't sure that extended to getting his girlfriend preggers, though. And of course he wanted his mom there for the birth.

 _But you've got to get through_ this _first,_ thought the young man. Raising the dart-pistol in his hand, he motioned for the Heavy Boys to get to work. The first of the Guards rushed over to the stairwell door. Positioning himself alongside the door, he placed a small explosive on the doorknob and detonated it. Momentarily, the guards were pouring through. Bon fell in at their rear, giving them instructions as they stormed into the building below.

There had been changes. The building inside was no longer the industrial warehouse that he was expecting. Far from being dark, dingy, and looking abandoned, the place had been cleaned top-to-bottom, and the whole place was now filled with machinery again. He could _feel_ the hum of machines running beneath his feet. But what were they doing and why? _One way to find out,_ thought the young Royal. Waving his men onward, he set out.

The guards slowly made their way through the building, clearing the place as they went. Just as they'd been trained, they moved from room to room, covering each other and sweeping the area for Cherry's thugs. Mostly what they found was an array of machines cooking up doses of Fruit Witch Venom. There were eight of the creatures trapped in a row of iron coffins, strapped face-down, with their deadly maws prized open, and the workers in the factory were milking their fangs, going from one to another. Chunks of candy-flesh and other unsavory tidbits served to satiate the Fruit Witches' eternal hunger.

The factory workers, as a rule, ran like hell was chasing them when they were caught. The Heavy Boys knew better than to give chase. There was too much going on here and too much that was unknown. They made sure that nobody who ran off came back, recorded the details of what they saw, and moved on, shutting down machines as they went. It was a shocking turn of events. Bon would never have guessed he'd see something like this in the staid, _quiet_ Candy Kingdom. His mother liked to boast that nothing evil happened here unless it came from outside. Yet he was staring evil in its face.

They had the main floor of the factory secure twenty minutes after landing, and Bon had his men spread out in the factory looking for any sort of records or information on what had gone on here. They had the machines shut down. The poison was no longer flowing, and the captive fairies, who's tears had served to dilute the toxic venom, had been released and sent home. He was pondering what to do with the Fruit Witches when the shout came from down in the basement.

Bon didn't waste any time hustling to the stairs and heading down. Heart beating a mile a minute, he rushed down the darkened hallway there. It was cold in the basement. It was as cold as the rest of the warehouse _should_ have been. He'd thought maybe they had found his mother after all, but he couldn't believe she'd be down here. He didn't think anybody would be down here unless they were already dead. Rushing into the room the guards had found, he came face to face with the awful truth of just what it was that motivated their foe.

The laboratory was almost as well-equipped as the one his mother kept in the basement of the palace. There were vats of chemical ingredients and mixing apparatus. There were cellular growth chambers jostling computer terminals. They saw dissected specimens packed in preservatives behind banks of data-storage devices.

And then there were the sleepers.

He'd never met Cherry Cream Soda, but staring at the beautiful forms floating in the tanks before him, Bon could see how she had ensnared so many. She was lovely, with flawless candy-skin, bewitching face, and soft pale hair. Her boobies weren't as nice as Fi's, but would certainly have given Frenchie's a run. And slim as she was, the little beauty had an amazingly sultry shape.

 _Clones,_ thought Bon. This was what the conspiracy was all about. It was all about achieving immortality for their loathsome foe. She'd set the kingdom on fire for this. It sort of challenged Bon's senses and took his mind places he'd sort of forbidden himself from going. His mother was immortal. His mother had more than eight-hundred years on the clock, and she showed no signs of ever really aging. Back when he assumed he was but a clone of _her_ , Bon had assumed he and Shoko would be just as ageless. He'd been facing the prospect of his wife or lover growing old and dieing. Honestly, deep down, he still feared that. Though Finn was his father, there was a high probability that he would be nearly as long lived as his mother. What would happen to Frenchie? How could he face the woman he so desperately loved every day, knowing she would die and leave him alone again?

 _It's the natural world, Bon,_ he told himself. We're _the unnatural piece of things. Living things are_ finite _. That's how it has to be._ Striding forward, he told the guards, "shut it down. Shut down all these systems. We're going to destroy this place." Cherry's dream was going to die here. He would not countenance such a wicked creature cheating death and living to plague the world for eternity.

Back at the treehouse, the three women were industriously playing cards and talking about the upcoming election. Betty and Simon were already deeply involved in the government of Wizard City, and that gave Betty insights into the way things were already going. "The wiz-cops are against us," said she with a frown. That was one of their biggest handicaps. They were the only organized opposition at the moment, and the weight of their opinion could save or sink any candidate. Huntress chuckled, "well, Simon did say he was going to rein them in. It kinda' hits at their power." Betty flushed. Neither she nor Simone really liked the wizard police, and they had been loudly proclaiming that they would get pulled back a couple of notches. It kind of stung that she might be sabotaging her own husband's campaign, though.

As Betty pondered the cards in her hand and how to change the minds of the police, shouts from outside drew all three women's attention to the windows. Rising, Betty almost caused her big, jiggly boobies to come flopping out of Fionna's too-small top. Emeraude snickered at the sight as the taller woman headed to the kitchen window. "You'd better come see this," muttered the wizard-woman. Concerned now, the two ladies of the house rose as one and headed straight to the window, crowding in on either side of Simone's _mom_. The wood-nymph spoke for all three when she muttered, "what the hell?" There was a crowd gathering out there, and it was a rather large one.

Unease rising, Betty called out to her husband of seventeen years, "Simon?! Simon, get up!" It took a few minutes, but the older man came stumbling out in just his boxers, bleary-eyed and drowsy. Of course, the sight of those three beautiful bottoms before the window, two in see-through nighties, and the last in those absurd pajamas, had him wide-awake instantly. "Uh, what's going on," stammered the gentleman? "There's a crowd outside," said Betty, as she turned to face him. The sight of those three pairs of plump boobies–two of them absurdly large–sent a shock of heat right to his face. "...go down and see what they want," said Betty. "Uh, what," stammered Simon? Irritated, Betty said, "go out there like a man and see what they want, Simon." "Uh, yes, dear," burbled Simon. "Right away." Before he could go, Simone tittered, "daddy? You should put your pants on..." Blushing to his hair, the gentleman covered up his gentleman, and scooted back into Billy's bedroom.

Simon returned wearing his pants, shoes, and half-wearing his shirt. By now the crowd was starting to fill up the yard outside, and a few brave souls were edging up the driveway. Simon went down to the entry, opened the door a crack, and said, "uh... What gives?" A tall sandwich-cookie called out, "we want Finn the Human! We want him out here right now!" Baffled, Simon replied, "uh, Finn's not home. What's this about?" "He _murdered_ my son," howled James' mom, Julia! "Uh, that doesn't really sound like something Finn would do," replied Simon. "Let him come out here and explain that himself," growled the sandwich-cookie man. "Look," said Simon. "I'm sure there's some kind of misunderstanding..." The angry sandwich-cookie hurled a knife at him. Reflexively, Simon slammed the door, and the heavy cleaver embedded itself in the wood. "Uh, girls," called Simon. "I think this is Cherry's surprise."


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52:

Fionna jammed the razor-sharp crystal sword into the candy-gangster before her, tearing out his entrails. As he collapsed, the sword simultaneously retracted and extended in the exact opposite direction, driving into the man behind the leggy blonde. Almost before Patrick had registered that she'd gotten the guy trying to bash her in the head, she was moving again. She was like a fucking force of nature. Pirouetting, she chopped off the head of a licorice stick and kicked the body towards his comrades, then deflected a handful of knives and darts. Patrick could almost have spent the entire time _watching_ her. None of the Heavy Boys had really been able to get in a lick.

Fionna had swept down the stairs from the roof like a whirlwind, sweeping all the gangsters before her. Patrick and the Banana Guards could scarcely believe it. It was like all the pent-up energy from weeks of being locked up in that funky hotel and the equally nasty cavern was being released all at once. Fionna quite forgot where she was and what she was doing, and it fell to Patrick to give the orders. He sent the guards fanning out to look for any additional forces these guys had. He sent one or two to shut down the machinery they'd found in here.

The cold-storage factory had been transformed–turned into some sort of vast chemical factory that seemed to be in the business of producing poison. Everywhere they went was the rancid tang of the Candy Kingdom's vice of choice. Pyschedelic chocolate. It sounded so tasty. It sounded very much like something that you'd want to try. Of course, you'd be high as a kite and hallucinating afterwards. It was banned in the Candy Kingdom, and it was the one thing that Bonnibel Bubblegum had zero-tolerance for.

Fionna's dad did his best to keep a lid on it, and the poison-merchants mostly did their best to keep a low-profile. Cherry, though, seemed to have created the means to corner the market. She was mass-producing the nasty brown goop on an industrial scale and exporting the vice to the far corners of the world. This was the kind of thing that started _wars_! If the other princesses ever found out that the Candy Kingdom was exporting this shit to their lands, they could ask for Bonnie's head!

Huffing and puffing, Fionna gasped, "wha... where we at now?" "Third floor, south corner," chuckled Pat. "Oh," burbled Fionna. There was nobody left. "Uh, what're we doin'," she asked? "Shutting down machines," said Pat with a smile. The blonde bombshell blushed to her hair. She'd kind of forgotten all about what they were supposed to be doing. Pat pulled her to him and said, "but that's ok, because I'm here to remind you." "Mmm," moaned Fionna as her boyfriend gave her a smokin' hot kiss. Grinning, he grabbed a handful of that lush bottom and gave it a squeeze, saying, "no mutants allowed." Grinning and blushing, Fionna said, "race ya..." And then she was off again. Laughing, Patrick set off after her, waving for the guys to follow.

Things in the Candy-Town Paint Factory weren't nearly as cordial. Billy had spent the entire ride over on the helicopter fuming about all the lies that had got told in the last few weeks. Star had spent the time walking on eggshells and doing her best not to make things worse. She'd feared he'd never forgive her after the fireworks from her earlier antics with Junior. Now she'd doubled down without really intending to.

Issuing orders to the Banana Guards, he all but ignored Star. Even when they set out across the roof, he said not a word, not even bothering to give orders to their newest _deputy_. When they reached the door to the stairwell, and he still had nothing to say, the wood-nymph wizard decided it was time to break the impasse before they got killed. "I can drop down the side of the building and take a look at what they're doing," Star declared. Billy's eyes burned into hers, and he ground out, "and why should I send you to do that?" Calmly, the wizard replied, "usually the rooftops of these places are alarmed. There's a fair chance they already know we're here, and they may be watching us..."

Billy's face went red hot. Calmly, Star said, "we'll talk later, Bill. You're welcome to yell and cuss me all you want. Just... let's survive this. Ok?" For a wonder, he agreed. Softly, he asked, "what are we facing?" "It'll be mob soldiers with dart-guns and some rifles," Star replied. "She buys the best stuff, but she's sloppy on details." Their weapons were utterly lethal, but they wouldn't be good shots. "Anything really hazardous," asked Billy? His snarky little sister replied, "she sicced Scorcher on me..." The bitch had plenty of money to hire muscle, and if she wanted you gone, she spared no expense. With a distasteful look, Bill stepped off.

As they approached the stairwell door, the young hero drew the rope he carried over his shoulder and asked his sister, "still know that lightning spell?" "Better than before," replied Star. "Good," said Billy. He had a plan. Just as Star had said, the bad men had been alerted to the trouble on the roof. They were already converging on the stairwell. Star muttered curses as Billy's rope got fastened around her ankles. She'd pushed to be involved. Now it was time to put up. Grabbing his sister by the shoulders, he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. And then it was over the side.

Star dove over the side, plummeting head-first down the center of the stairwell. As she passed each landing, she sent massive bolts of lightning through each door flattening the bad men who'd been gathering there. Near the bottom, the stretchy rope dragged her to a stop before she smacked into the cement. Twisting at the end of the rope, she slipped her legs out of the loop and dropped to the floor. Heart beating a mile a minute, Star took a moment to catch her breath. Then she started up the stairs. There were bad man with guns on every floor, laying sprawled behind the doors she'd blasted open. Some were still alive. Taking no chances, Star killed them to make sure they didn't get up again. Halfway up, she met Billy and the Heavy Boys coming down. There didn't appear to be anybody still moving. Now the team began to explore.

At the treehouse, Simon was doing his best to hold down the line as angry candy-people did their best to break down the door. Huntress had the window, and she was trying to chase off the angry citizens without doing permanent damage. "This is crazy," howled Simon! "Tell me about it," shouted Emeraude. The door had splintered under the force of dozens angry men pounding on it, and Simon had been forced to reinforce it with ice.

Upstairs, Betty was making frantic phone calls to the Banana Guard while Simone did her best to drive the massive crowd away and deter the most persistent from climbing the tree. She coated the bark in layers of ice and even slicked down the low-hanging branches. It was like the fight against the goo-mutants all over again! The only thing missing was some nasty surprise to make things _really_ dangerous. Betty shouted, "nobody's answering!" "Is the line cut," Simone pondered? "No," her mother replied, "it just rings and rings..." Suggesting something was going on at the headquarters. Simone felt a thrill of fear. What if Cherry meant to _kill_ Finn rather than keep him? _All the more reason you have to_ live _,_ the wizardess thought. She had to fight on. She had to live. The kids would need her.

Meanwhile, Marshall Lee was playing a rather deadly game of hide-and-seek with his mom's douche-bag of an ex. The vampire had torn his way through the ranks of Ash's henchman, gobbling up all that sweet, sweet blood. He'd torn them in two and squeezed them dry. He'd slit their throats and sucked the life out. He'd even cracked their bones, searching for the marrow. He was losing himself. The bloodlust had nearly won, such that he scarcely even knew why he was chasing the wizard other than to bleed him dry.

The wizard himself was on the run in his own lair. The half-breed had turned the perfect vampire-trap on its head. Ash was so terrified, he had completely lost control of himself. He'd spent the last few hours running from place to place, crawling through crawl spaces and hiding under furniture and behind rusty old machines. Now, as he listened to the sound of his foe overturning machines and furnishings in a doggedly determined effort to find him, the panic-stricken wizard grasped at fleeting threads of thought in a vain attempt to save his own life. It wasn't supposed to go this way. Everyone he'd talked to suggested the kid was a wimp. How did he get so powerful?

"Helloooo...," rumbled the fiend in his awful voice. Having torn the room apart, he was now just steps away, and Ash was out of time. He'd been imagining watching his cunt of a girlfriend die. He'd been dreaming of her screams, but it appeared that dreaming would be all he did.

And then it hit him.

Ash the wizard rose and drew the remote in one motion. How had he forgotten? He'd had a weapon the whole time! The fiend grabbed the old generator he'd hidden behind and smashed it on the floor. Then the beast stepped towards him. The room was piled high with broken machines and broken bodies, and Ash ended up puking all over his shoes at the sight. Nevertheless, he held up the remote like a prize. "I'm'a walk, kid," said he. "Right down the hill..." The fiend kept coming. "I'll kill her," Ash repeated, but the fiend kept coming.

Ash kept up a stream of threats right up until the moment the feral vampire plunged his dagger-like claws into his chest and began pulling his ribcage apart. Ash didn't even get to scream as the vampire tore him in half. His last thoughts were hopes of Marceline suffering horribly as she was burned alive.

The old paint factory was alive with the strong scent of chemicals. The taint was so strong, it was seriously affecting Star's delicate sense of smell, making her nauseous to the point where she was constantly on the ragged edge of emptying her guts. A strange corner of Billy's mind wondered if JJ had ever been in this place. She'd have been a mess after spending fifteen minutes here, the scent was so strong. The fact that she _had_ spent a couple of nights laying on his lap on the couch with her nose dripping and her head pounding from being exposed to _something_ told him that maybe she had.

It was another ugly revelation. He'd been so smitten, he'd listened to every category of lie there was. His father had warned him. All three of his parents had warned him. He went down this road with Jake Junior at his peril. _And how many died for it,_ he wondered? A glance at Star told him that he could have lost the most precious life he knew of. Guilt and anger were eating him alive. He knew he had to get control of this because if he kept going, he would find himself in a really ugly place–one where no badge could save him.

"You alright," he asked? When his sister went to open her mouth, he told her, "don't lie." Turning her to face him, he brushed the cloak off her head and gave her a good, thorough looking over. It was hard to tell with the black gunk she'd daubed her face in, though her eyes were shot through with green and constantly tearing. Hoarsely, she said, "I can handle it. Let's... Let's get through this last room." Billy nodded his agreement, but he wasn't thrilled about this.

The leader of the Heavy Boys jerked the door open, revealing a pristine lab environment on the far side. Stepping through, Billy shined his flashlight back and forth. Oddly, the chemical scent wasn't as strong here, suggesting that maybe the outside was a front. If people were too busy wheezing to do much looking, it likely would have succeeded. Sniffing the air, Star stepped in after him. Experimentally, he asked, "better?" "Different," she conceded. Turning in place, she said, "it's... It's hard to explain, Bill. The air's different. I can smell stuff here, but it doesn't make me want to cough my lungs out." Nodding, Billy said, "let's look around. See anything odd, let me know." The team split up, with Star staying close to him as they went through the place with a fine-tooth comb.

There were small amounts of chemicals stored in heavy, candy-steel drums scattered in the back of the room. Closer to hand were mixing-bowls and titration equipment. Star recognized a lot of it from her classes at school. Somebody was here experimenting with mixtures. A shriek announced one of their guards had found something. "Sounds like Shelly," rumbled Billy. Rushing over to the far corner of the lab, he found the one Heavy Girl quavering in fear over boxes of dead mice and a handful of live ones.

"What the hell," muttered an irritated Billy. He didn't really have much patience for girls and their airs today. Star frowned at the box of dead mice and the few live mice. She had a hunch. "This is where she planned to make the decorpsinator serum," murmured Star. Billy's head whipped around. He'd heard the story of the zombie outbreak, and it was one of the reasons he'd always been a little stand-offish with Bonnie Bubblegum. The idea that she would so carelessly create something like that and set it free on the world made him angry.

"What're you talking about," he demanded? "This is what she wanted, Bill," murmured Star. "Cherry Cream Soda wanted the decorpsinator serum. It's why she kidnaped Bonnie. She intended to bring her dead hubby back to life and live forever with him." Pointing at the rats, she said, "those guys were once in that pile." Shelly shrieked again and backed away. Billy had a more pointed reaction. Taking Star by the arm, he said, "set the demolition charges. We're getting out of here."

Up on the mountain, Marshall Lee was lost deep in his feral lust for blood as he lapped up the spilled claret from beneath Ash's corpse. He might have remained lost if not for the screams. There was a vague awareness in him of _another_. That other was tied up in the rage and hate that he felt. The other was the cause of the terrible _fear_. He was tied to the source of those shrieks by blood and more than blood. Shaking off the fog of bloodlust, the young man straightened and listened. There it was again. Screaming. Wiping at his blood-coated chin, the young man muzzily thought about what that meant.

 _Mother!_

Marshall flew faster than he'd ever flown before. More powerful than he'd ever been in his life, he went bursting through the walls of the strange laboratory until he came to _her_. She was still there in that wretched prison. She was there, and the light was burning her. The light was consuming his mother. Marshall rushed into the room, and he too felt the terrible burning of the light. Each step he took brought agony. Calling on all the power in him, he smashed the bars to her cell, tearing them asunder. Then, bulking himself up into the same massive shape that had savaged the wizard, he shielded the pale woman in the cell with his body. Weakened by the light, he all but collapsed on top of her. He'd been right. They were going to die here. They were going to die in this place, and there was nothing he could do.

He might have lain there and waited for the end, but for the voice. A voice came from deep inside–somewhere the bottled-up darkness had never been able to touch. It was his father's voice, urging him to move. He had to move. His mother needed him, and he had sisters and brothers who cared about him. They needed him _here_ , and so he had to get up again. He had to move. Marshall did his best. Pushing off with one massive fist, he snatched up the Queen of Vampires. Then, pushing himself along on that one heavy arm and his burning, blistered legs, he crawled out of the light and into the comforting darkness.

The boy collapsed there, his power leaving him at last. With his strength exhausted, he lay himself down beside his mother to die. Marceline felt a thrill of utter terror shoot through her as she took in the sight of her son. He was burned and scorched across half his body. Any exposed flesh was seared–down to the bone in places. Her son was badly burned! Why was he burned?! He was immune to the touch of sunlight!

And then it hit her. The curse. It had always been waiting in the wings to claim him. He'd gone into blood-lust when he was fighting those fuckers, and now the curse had taken hold of him. Her poor son was now a full-fledged vampire! Laying there bleeding from the painful burns on his skin, Marshall wheezed, "mom... I'm... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have left you..." "Shush," burbled the heartbroken mother. She cradled his head against her chest the way she did when he was a baby and whispered a lullaby. "You're ok, baby," she sighed. "You're gonna' be ok." Somehow she'd find a way to fix this. She'd find a way to undo the curse on her boy.

 **This will probably be the last update of 2015 due to the holiday.**


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 53:

"So you mean to kill me," murmured Bonnibel Bubblegum. She made it sound so commonplace. It was eerie in a way–that she was really that cold. Cherry Cream Soda had been thinking about that since she came here. The evening had started simply enough. She'd had the baby-shower with her family. She'd laughed and chatted her way across the hours before they had all gotten on their way, and she'd been in a good mood as she climbed into the car. Tonight was the night. She would see closure tonight.

Things had begun to change as she rode along in her limousine. She'd begun to have doubts. She'd gone into this with a plan to just _murder_ her nemesis if it came down to that. Now she felt _different_ somehow. Something inside had changed, and she felt... _regret_. Strangely it wasn't her henchmen that got cold feet. It was _her_. Doubts had surfaced. What if she needed this woman? What if there was knowledge that she still had that Cherry needed? And more to the point, what would Finn say? She'd been considering the unthinkable. What if she let this creature live?

Emotion said to kill the old bitch now. This was all she'd worked for. This was the chance of a lifetime. She might not get another. The cold, calculating side of her was playing devil's advocate–arguing both sides. Bonnie was valuable all on her own, with a hundred lifetimes worth of knowledge crammed in her skull. And there were ways to kick her off the throne and even put her in prison forever.

"I'm thinking of _prison_ , actually," the gangster replied. Bonnie frowned at her in distaste. In imperious tones, she declared, "you have no right to imprison me." Cherry cut her off with, "but the Crowned Heads of Ooo do, Your Highness. Just what do you suppose they'll do when I tell them about Project Centurion? Do you imagine they'll see your private army of killer machines as you just trying to _help_ everyone?" The color drained from the tall princess's face. "I'm going to depose you, Miss Bubblegum," Cherry said. "For sake of Finn's conscience, I'll tuck you away somewhere. The other princesses will probably be delighted..."

Bonnie glared at her. Coldly, she demanded, "do you suppose they'll be happier with you shipping poison to their kids?" Angry, Cherry retorted, "vou don't have the _right_ to judge me, Your Highness..." Leaning over the table, the younger woman addressed her fallen princess, saying, "you were on the cusp of starving every man, woman, and child in this kingdom over _your_ foolish pride. You refused to seek help. That _poison_ puts food on people's tables! You spend your time on pointless experiments of dubious value instead of governing!" Bonnie glanced away. Those words stung more than anything else.

Coolly, Cherry said, "you'll abdicate. I'll draw up the papers. You'll make me regent. In exchange, it'll be a cushy prison with all the chemicals and gadgets you want." "Finn won't accept this," muttered Bonnie. Cherry laughed in her face. She laughed and laughed, slapping the table. Subsiding into soft chuckles, she asked, "is that what you've been holding out for?" The bubblegum princess's expression told all that needed to be said.

Cruelly, Cherry said, "you have a problem with manipulating and using people, Bonnie Bubblegum. If I've become a user, I learned from a master. Both my men got stars in their eyes at the mere mention of your name. You let that fucking witch kill one, and you tried to use up the other one until he wised up and stopped sniffing after your ass." Bonnie Bubblegum's face grew very pale. With a cruel little cackle, Cherry said, "that's right. Finn's _my_ man, now, Bonnie Bubblegum. He'll be raising _our_ baby for a change instead of running after yours."

The bubblegum princess felt despair crowding in on her. This was the worst things had been for her since she'd been kidnaped. Had Finn truly forsaken her? Had she lost him? She knew there was truth there. She hadn't done well with that. If she was at all honest, she'd treated him very badly. If he hated her, she'd given him plenty of reasons. What would she do now? Could she accept this? She hadn't expected to live this long. If this evil ingrate kept her promise, she would have a chance still. "Alright," murmured Bonnie. "Let's deal."

Meanwhile, in the palace, the uncanny copy of Bonnibel Bubblegum sat awaiting her own fate. She was hungry. They hadn't brought her food in days and her organic systems were suffering. They hadn't brought her any additional formulas to test. Of course, P-Bot knew why. They had what they wanted. No further testing was needed. She felt sad about that. She'd done all she could. She'd stalled, and she'd done her best to contaminate the results. In the end, they had their ways of ensuring her cooperation.

She was waiting for the end. If they had no further need for the princess, they certainly had no need for her. She was a loose end and a potential problem for them. It was just a question of _when_. And how. She wasn't organic–not completely. It wouldn't be so easy to kill her. And now she knew how to make the decorpsinator serum. She could revive her creator. As long as she was functional, Princess Bubblegum need never fear death.

The door opened, and the sex-droid climbed to her feet. Calmly, she disconnected the plug from her auxiliary charging port. She had enough power for one good fight. She had to live. For her creator's sake, she had to live. There were four of them when the door swung open. They were all big and packed with muscle. "Evening, gentlemen," the android greeted them. "Sound just like the princess," opined the biggest of them, a chunky piece of hard rock-candy. "Looks like her too," opined a sandwich-cookie. P-Bot frowned.

Edging closer, the big man, who seemed to be leader said, "we're here to turn you off..." "Have to say that's not usually what I hear," quipped the sex-droid. When she used to slip into town to shop for provisions for Braco, she'd often gotten catcalls. One of the thugs turned to the big man and said, "I heard she was programmed with all kinda' magic sex-tricks..." "I was," admitted the sex-droid. "Things that would blow your mind. You might say I'm a slutty version of Princess Bubblegum..." Licking her lips, she added, "I can send a man to paradise..."

Stroking his suddenly-hard peter, one of the would-be murderers said, "always wanted to fuck a princess!" In fact, he'd lusted over the Candy Kingdom's ruler for years. "Ok," rumbled the leader, "we'll fuck her before we smash her." Raising a portable blow-torch, the killer announced, "this is how it'll go... The longer you entertain us, the longer you stay in one piece..." P-Bot gave him a sweet smile, as she teased at one of the buttons on her dress. Just a little closer...

"Strip," growled the big man. The cry was taken up by the others, as the four crowded closer. "What is the meaning of this," shouted Peppermint Butler?! The four turned to the palace's annoying majordomo, who stood there holding a dinner platter. "Guess we'll have to take care of you too," growled the leader. As he stepped forward to snap the butler in half, P-Bot activated her defense application. The would-be rapist on the left glanced back just in time to receive a powerful kick to the head that cratered his skull. Throwing powerful kicks, the sex-toy killed a second by crushing his neck. Grabbing the third in a powerful embrace, she snapped his back halfway up.

Blowtorch-boy was by himself.

He had a weapon, and P-Bot circled with him, feinting and dodging. His eyes were clear and focused. He wasn't thinking about pussy now. P-Bot taunted him, asking, "like it so far? Does it feel good yet?" Face blushing, the candy-person cussed her. A voice from behind him growled, "Ordoth, decimari mea hostem argenti tui unguibus..." An invisible hand raked the rogue candy-person down his back, the scratches going bone deep. He dropped the torch in favor of reaching for his wounded back. That invisible talon tore open his front, shredding his innards, and he dropped and lay their screaming.

Peppermint Butler rushed over to P-Bot, excitedly shouting, "Your Highness! Your Highness! Are you alright?!" "I'm fine," replied the sex-droid, as she rose from turning off the torch, "and it's P-Bot actually. Princess Bonnibel's been taken. We have to find her." The stunned manservant could only follow the princess's double in a state of abject shock. Chuckling, P-Bot said, "I might have you teach me that voodoo you do, Peps. I need a new job anyway."

Back at the treehouse, Huntress had just smoked a giant chocolate bar that had broken in on them. Simon had frozen his bud, a giant cream puff. Both had gotten through windows and stopped stock still at the sight of the wood nymph wonder there in see-through lace with those perfect knockers on display as she twisted and turned to deal with multiple assailants. Now, Simon's shouts brought Simone and Betty down the stairs in a rush. Betty's big boobies came wobbling free of Fionna's top as she reached the bottom of the stairs, giving her hubby a sight he'd never forget.

As their assailants regrouped, Simone took stock of the situation and their chances. There were four of them–four _very powerful_ wizards. Up until this point, they'd done their best not to hurt too many of their attackers. A lot of those people had been duped, and nobody wanted the repercussions of smashing them. Now though, push was coming to shove. Simon asked, "where's the Banana Guard?" "They're not answering," Betty replied. "We're on our own." Simone pulled the shattered door open, saying, "then it's time to take the gloves off. They're trespassing. It's time they left."

The crowd on the lawn stared as Simone came out, dressed in that sexy, see-through silk. As if that wasn't enough, Huntress came out next. And then, most shocking of all, Betty with her big knobs swinging free of the pajama top she wore. More than one man there found himself sporting a huge boner as those beautiful bodies came into view. In a loud, clear voice, the Ice Queen declared, "you are _trespassing_! Get off my lawn, or get smashed!" As she spoke, she began to float into the air, and her eyes shimmered with a blue-white glow.

Time stood still. The people on the lawn did that dangerous calculation. Could they stand up to the half-naked woman? Supposedly she'd given away the Ice-Crown, so how powerful was the Ice Queen really? There _were_ hundreds of people out there. Simone only gave them a moment to ponder. Then she began to channel power, forming strands and threads of ice. Before their very eyes, she became an armored titan, sheathed from head-to-foot in impenetrable plates of ice. Extending a slim hand, Simone Mertens caused a massive lance of ice to form, twenty feet long, that dragged on the ground as she darted forward. The massive spear of ice ripped through earth and bodies alike. Even people who had been missed found the icy cold rooted them to the spot. Huntress followed that up with blasts of lightning, and Simon chipped in with jagged bolts of ice and stone-hard ice-balls.

The candy-people began to disperse, racing away in terror. In short order, a hundred of them had disappeared, leaving dozens frozen to death and the rest in a state of terror. As Simone turned to make another pass, a burst of gunfire struck the hard-frozen plates protecting the Ice Queen sending her tumbling from the sky. As Huntress screamed, the candy people surged over her. Simon grabbed the little woman by the scruff as she darted forward. Betty, who had been watching and holding back, turned to the hill that had been source of the gunshots and hurled a bolt of orange flame. As the thugs shouted and milled around the place where Simone had fallen, Simon took to the air. With Betty laying into the hillside, Simon soared over the milling thugs and flew towards the hill. A lone figure there was running down the backside of the hill in a panic, and Simon gave chase. He didn't know if his daughter was dead, but he would avenge her if she was.

Simon hurled freezing rays and conjured walls of ice to corral the killer. To his surprise, his foe twisted and turned around his frozen missiles and even vaulted one of his ice walls. _Who_ is _that,_ Simon wondered? The figure below him almost reminded him of Jake. Swooping down closer, he tried for a closer look. The assassin hurled an explosive almost in his face. Only a reflexive bit of magic saved him. Conjuring a globe of ice, he enveloped the bomb just before it exploded. The burst of flame and light knocked him from the sky, sending him ass-over-elbows back over the hill.

Back at the treehouse, the pack of candy-people swarming over the Ice-Queen was suddenly tossed aside as a massive dome of jagged ice grew in their midst. Dissolving the dome, the Ice-Queen rose up in her tattered nightie, her eyes blazing in rage. Clutching at the ragged edges of her bodice in a vain attempt to cover her bountiful boobies, she lashed out, slaughtering dozens more. This time, the mob did break, dispersing far faster than they arrived. An angry Simone came stalking up the driveway to find a relieved Huntress and a surprised Betty waiting on her.

Simon returned to the side of his wife and daughter. "The sniper got away," he announced. "I think it was some kind of shape-changer like Jake..." Clutching her bodice together and with a frown contorting her lovely face, Simone muttered, "Junior..." Her niece had just tried to murder her. Latching onto the younger woman's arm, Betty commanded, "inside, _punkin_. Simon, stand guard while we get dressed." The three heavenly bodies went inside while Simon took up station at the door.


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 54:

Cherry stared down at the paper in front of her–the results of an hour of negotiations. The old bitch was quite the schemer, and it took all that the master attorney and crime-boss had in her to see through every trick. Bonnibel Bubblegum had a hundred ways of making this agreement pay off for _her_ in the end, and given her obvious immortality, she had plenty of time to wait Cherry out. Staring down at the paper, she still wasn't sure she'd thought her way through all the permutations. There were a lot of ways for the fallen princess to twist their little agreement to her own ends. _But I'll be watching her,_ thought the crime boss. _I'll have her under constant watch, and I can kill her as easily as I smashed the robot._ "Alright," rumbled Cherry. "Sign it."

Bonnibel Bubblegum sighed heavily. She was trading her freedom for some dubious guarantee of safety from a woman who might very well have murdered her entire family. As they stared at each other, Cherry's confidence began to grow. The hesitation and fear in those blue eyes told her that Bonnie Bubblegum feared that the few concessions she'd won weren't nearly enough. "You can sign, or you can die," growled Cherry. "There're no better deals coming." Swallowing her objections, Bonnie reached for the pen.

Just as she was putting pen to paper, a terrific commotion arose above their heads. They could both hear the sound of a helicopter. Bonnie knew that besides Nadia and Truth Field Princess, she was the only person on Ooo who had the knowledge to build such machines. That meant that Finn's troops were landing on the roof. Cherry looked up at the ceiling with a frown. She knew as well as Bonnie who that machine must belong to. Why was Finn here? She'd told him to go to work as normal.

Or there was the other possibility.

She'd made a gross assumption without following up on it. She'd given Penny the location of Bubba Bubblegum and friends and just assumed nature would take its course. As obsessed as the little cunt was with Fionna Mertens, Cherry had imagined she would collapse the cave on top of them. It seemed a foregone conclusion that she'd kill the prince right alongside his former beloved. _But you didn't follow up,_ thought the crime-boss. She'd made the dreadful mistake of assuming that a henchman got the job done–something she'd _never_ done before. All through this process, she'd had eyes on every hand that was involved in a critical job, and sometimes she'd put eyes on the eyes. She'd just assumed that the Thief King would take care of business. _But she fucked up at the hotel,_ thought Cherry. _Hell, she fucked up in her own palace!_ And now, it seemed that Cherry had fucked up in trusting her.

Gunshots rang out. She could hear people moving in the facility above her head. They both could. Sounds of pitched battle rang out, telling her that her men were losing the battle. _Who do I call,_ she thought? Junior was tieing up loose ends at the treehouse. Did she dare call Finn? What if Fionna was there? What would she do then? Muttering curses, Cherry got up from the table and strode towards the door. Halfway there, she stopped. What was she going to do if she did meet up with the people breaking into the safehouse?

The crime boss wasn't the only person dealing with failure. Miles away, Jake Junior went tearing through the early-morning darkness, driving like all the demons of the Night-O-Sphere were in hot pursuit. She'd failed. She'd utterly failed to kill her aunts. Worse than that, she feared that Simon had seen her. If he'd gotten a good look at her face, it was a certainty that Billy would know in short order. Once that happened, her happy life was gone–shredded. Wiping at the bitter tears of her failed and ugly life, the shapechanger drove on through the early-morning darkness. She had to get away from here. This wasn't how she meant to do it, but she had to get away. Maybe someday she would see Billy again, but she had to get out of the Candy Kingdom or find herself _under_ the jail.

She blamed Cherry for this. She blamed that stupid bitch for stirring up all this shit for her stupid revenge. What had it gotten them? They'd had everything! They had all the money they could ever have wanted. They had power that rivaled Princess Bubblegum's. And Junior had her happy home-life. With Billy. Now she had nothing. Neither of them had anything. It was a safe bet that once Billy knew that his wife had tried to kill his mothers, Finn would know it. Once Finn knew that Cherry had broken their little deal, then the bitch was as good as dead. _I gotta' get out of here,_ Junior thought. It was like a litany in her mind. She had to get the house packed up. She had to go.

Back at the old casket factory, Finn the human came storming down through the place like a demon given life. His men had never seen anything like this before, and many of them had been running with the Hero of Ooo for a long time. Twisting and turning like a dervish, he dodged a knife-attack and blocked the heavy club of a massive thug who'd tried to brain him. Thrusting with the blade, he severed the hands of the knife-wielder. On the return-stroke, he smashed the jaw of the thug with the club. Savagely, the big man chopped the arm off another gangster at the shoulder before kicking the screaming man in the head hard enough that it snapped his head around and sent him crashing into darkness. The whirling, dancing blade that was the Finn-sword turned clouds of steel darts, sending some back at their owners and covering the wall with others. Heart full of desperate fear that the woman he had somehow come to love was doing in the great love of his life, Finn drove Cherry's thugs before him as he fought his way ever downward.

Cherry, meanwhile, was beside herself. She seethed with the terror of the moment. Had she really come so far only to fall down on the details at the end? Had she really allowed Penny to wreck her plans? And what was she to do now? Run? Could she run? Her eyes fell on Bonnibel Bubblegum. This woman would pursue her. She'd be pursued to the ends of Ooo if she fled now. _Unless I kill her,_ thought the crime lord. She would only have inept Boniface Bubblegum to deal with then. Question was, did she have it in her to kill? She'd given the orders. She'd done that so many times, she'd lost track of the number. Her eyes went to the knife that her _guest_ had been eating with.

Bonnibel's eyes met hers, and she spoke for the first time since the assault had started, "I can give you the same as you gave me. A cell. A quiet life locked away..." The smug little _bitch_. "Oh," growled Cherry, as she strode towards her nemsis. "You think you can just turn things around on me? Is that it? You think I'd accept that from you?" Bonnie sighed and said, "I'm sorry for what happened to you. I'm sorry for the loss of your husband. Rootbeer was a good man and a loyal citizen." "Don't you mention his name, you fucking _cunt_ ," howled Cherry! "Don't fucking speak his name, because you're not worthy of it!" Striding over, her eyes blazing, the little soda-girl grabbed the knife and looked for all the world like she would plunge it into the princess's heart.

Calm in the face of her rage, Bonnie softly replied, "I made a mistake, Miss Soda. I made the mistake of saving James. You're right, there. I opened Pandora's box with that... I realized it when James kept _dieing_ on me. I couldn't keep my people going down that road. I had to draw the line. I... I wish I could have..." "You fucking whore," snarled Cherry! "You killed my husband!"

"Sorry to interrupt," announced Finn the Human.

Both those beautiful faces turned to regard the fierce visage of the Captain of the Guard, standing in the door. They greeted him with identical looks of fear edging towards hope. Shooting to her feet, Bonnie welcomed him with, "Finn! So good to see you, my champion!" Cherry growled, "not so fast, bitch! Finn's _mine_!" Turning to her man, the crime boss turned those winsome eyes on him. Finn felt his face go hot. Dropping her hand to her side, she said, "honey... Remember what we talked about... She's just a user... She just wants to go on using you..."

Shaking himself, Finn stepped fully into the room, striding toward the little woman he'd come to love these last few months. Eyes hard, he said, "it's over, Cherry. All your operations are shut down. My guys are raiding the other three warehouses right now..." "I see," muttered Cherry. "It was all lies." That stung him far more than he'd expected it to. This day had been coming since the first, and he'd been dreading this moment almost from the day he'd walked out of her house. "Some of it," Finn admitted with a heavy-hearted sigh.

The little woman sighed heavily, and her face was deeply troubled. How had she gone so wrong? What hadn't she seen? Bonnie stepped away from her–out of reach of that knife. The bitch was still dangerous. "Finn," she crowed, "do your duty!" "PB," muttered Finn. "This isn't helping." Bonnie blinked. Those words took her aback. Was there _truth_ to what this bitch had said? Had Finn sold out to her in truth? Sensing an opening, Cherry pushed back. "So what're you going to do," demanded Cherry? "Kill me?" Finn's eyes burned into hers, suggesting that he'd do just that. She was a threat to Bonnibel Bubblegum as long as she was alive. "Don't make this worse," he replied. She laughed in his face. Shaking her head, she just laughed. "I'm pregnant," she told him. "It's yours." Finn's heart sank. It was worse.

Seeing the way he took that and seeing him wavering, Bonnie shouted, "Finn! She's probably lieing! Hasn't she lied about everything?! If she _is_ pregnant, it was probably one of her gangsters..." "I learned to lie from a master," retorted Cherry, with a snort of disgust. "And who else would have been the father of my child? Even if I wanted another man, nobody else's dick touches the sides anymore..." Finn blushed at those damning words. Looking her erstwhile boyfriend square in the eye, she demanded, "you going to kill your own baby?"

"No," Finn murmured. "This was never about killing you or anybody else. This is about justice. I'm... I'm'a take you to prison..." By now the Heavy Boys had secured the building and three of them now stood in the hall. "Don't give them trouble, Cherry," he said. "Please don't." Turning to the leader of the Heavy Boys, he said, "take her away." As the Banana Guards dragged her out of there, Cherry shouted, "we could have had everything!" Steeling his heart, Finn ignored her. He made himself turn away. Turning to Bonnie, he said, "you're safe Peebles..." His expression was bleak, and Bonnie was astonished to realize that at least some of what that bitch said was true. Finn did have feelings for her. Seeming to guess what she was thinking, Finn said, "she was a friend, PB. I... We didn't take care of her like we should have. We... _made_ her this way."

Shaking that off, Finn asked, "are you ok? Did they hurt you?" Bonnie ran across the room and threw herself on him. Wrapping him in her arms, the candy monarch hugged him tight. Finn held her and rocked with her as she sobbed into his shoulder. Softly, Finn said, "Bon and Shoko are ok. Shoko's... Shoko's hurt, PB, but she's going to recover." Bonnie nodded. She'd been terrified that the bitch would murder her precious children, but Finn had taken care of them. Just like always. Now she had something she could do for him.

"I'll take care of it," sighed Bonnie after a while. It took a moment for him to understand what she meant. "I don't want you to have to face Simone and Huntress with this," she said, as she straightened. It was bad enough she'd kind of raped him to get Boniface. She knew they were still a little angry about that.

"No," said Finn. "I did this... I have to take responsibility for it..." Shaking his head, he added, "I already told them. They... understood." He'd had to lie like a dog to get through all of this and keep Cherry from hurting his family. He wasn't real good with that, and it had been hard sometimes to remember exactly what the truth was. The certain knowledge that Cherry Cream Soda could sic her army of former clients on them and their kids had made it easy for Emeraude and Simone to accept that Finn had to sleep with that bitch. "We're going to take care of him or her, whatever it is," said Finn. Bonnie murmured, "will you tell the child about...?" Nodding, Finn said, "yeah. I'll make sure he sees her. So he knows why his mom's in jail."

Frowning, Bonnie asked, "you're not going to let me execute her, are you?" "Nope," said Finn. His eyes were hard, and she knew she'd lose him if she went ahead and did it anyway. She was stuck with Cherry Cream Soda until the treacherous bitch passed away. It was a safe bet _she_ wasn't getting cloned back to life! In the right now, though, she wanted to celebrate being alive and having gotten through all of this.

Smiling at Finn, she reached out, took his face in her hands, and said, "one last thing, hero... Just for old times sake." Leaning in, she kissed him. Finn drew her into his arms–much more than he'd ever done in those 'old times' and caressed her soft body, holding her curves to him as that kiss went on and on. Both of them were a little breathless when they broke the kiss. Staring into his blue, blue eyes, Bonnie felt all the old hunger come back, full force.

The beautiful Princess threw herself on her hero, thrusting her tongue into his mouth. Finn caught a handful of her big, round ass–a butt he'd admired many a time–and gave it a squeeze. Bonnie moaned into his mouth, feeling his hard dong against her thigh as she remembered riding it all those years ago. She knew Cherry was right. She'd had to buy an extra-large vibrator after riding Finn's big dick all those years ago.

Overwrought as his mind was after all he'd been through, Finn found himself getting carried away. His hands slid down her thighs, stroking the firm flesh through the rough material of her dress. Grabbing the sides of her skirt, he slowly started pulling the hem up her legs, baring the firm, lean thighs to the cool air. At the same time, he nibbled at her throat. Simone had admitted that he had given her so many hickies, she had a permanent mark on her neck. The thought of him marking her as his woman made her hot.

When he had her skirt up around her waist, Finn slipped one hand down the back of her panties. With the other he began stroking her plump boobies. Bonnie closed her eyes and let the feeling sweep her away. He was good. He touched her so nice. "Mmm," moaned Bonnie as Finn kissed her again. Their tongues dueled, and she ran her hands up and down his sides. They were both getting carried away, but she didn't care. She wanted him. After spending the last seventeen years seeing him every day and knowing he was the father of her kids, she had a _thirst_ for him.

Breaking that steamy kiss, she breathily asked him, "are you gonna' do it t'me, Finn?" "Yeah, Peebles," he whispered. Shucking the silk panties she was wearing, the beautiful Princess climbed up on the table where she'd been shackled the last few months and opened her thighs wide. Finn fished his dong out of his pants and stepped up between those long, beautiful legs. Bonnie licked her lips in hunger as she watched him jack on the shaft of his fat log. Pressing the knob against her opening he pushed. "Ooooaaaah," howled Bonnie, as she wrapped her legs around him and pulled him closer. Her hands pawed at him as he began to move, sliding the thick pecker back and forth in her hot pussy. Hot girl-cream drooled out of her.

"Shiiit," howled the beautiful woman as she went over the edge. Finn opened up the front of her dress and jerked the bra up over her big knobs. As he kissed her again, his hands caressed her round boobies. He ran his palms all over her creamy, pink flesh. Bonnie remembered his evil father asking how many times Finn had fucked her. Ironically, the answer at the time was zero. Now, he'd done it to her twice–once without even knowing it. Breaking that kiss, Finn pressed his face into her boobs and rubbed his stubbly chin against her tender flesh. She was so soft, and she smelled like a strange combination of sweet sugar and citrus. He inhaled deeply of her subtly strange scent, and then took an experimental swipe with his tongue.

"Mmmm," moaned Bonnie as his rod slid in and out of her hot snatch. It was so _big_! It was driving her crazy. Her fingers pinched his shoulders, and clenched at his hair as she went over the edge again. It had been a long while since she'd had it this good. She wished they had the time to do everything. She wished she could suck him. She wished he could lick her snatch the way Marcy said he did it to Simone.

Finn's roaming hands squeezed her big, beautiful bottom, feeling the muscle flex as her butt rose off the table to meet his hips as they began to go faster and faster. He'd had so many hangups about this–about _her_ –but this was so _natural_. She was a beautiful woman, and he wanted her. She wanted him back, and they were doing _this_. And it just felt _good_. Bonnie pressed her face against his neck and screamed, her hands clawing his back, and her legs squeezing him hard enough to hurt. Finn pinched that big bottom as he shot his stuff in her.

The handsome hero collapsed against his beloved Princess. Breath coming out in pants and gasps, Bonnie ran her fingers through his long blond hair–just like she'd always wanted to do it. "Shit, that was good," sighed Bonnie. She knew they couldn't ever do this again. She wouldn't do that to Simone or Huntress. At the same time, she was happy this had finally happened. The hero finally got the girl. Kissing his sweet lips, Bonnie said, "don't ever forget this, hero." "Believe me, I won't," chuckled Finn. Stroking her soft hair, he said, "I love you Bonnibel Bubblegum." "I love you, Finn the Human Boy," sighed Bonnie.

Finn drew back and pulled up his pants, hastily pulling himself back together. Bonnie was a little slower, letting Finn enjoy the show a little longer before she pulled her clothes back on. Together they headed outside to find the Heavy Boys packing the survivors of Cherry's gang into a couple of paddy-wagons. Bonnie got pride of place in one of the cars, and, with Finn sitting beside her, they set out for Banana Guard headquarters.

They found the place looking a little crazy when the car pulled up. The city was in a state of turmoil, and there was an undercurrent of fear to the scene as the car pulled into the garage beneath the headquarters. Bonnie found herself sandwiched by Finn's troops as they marched upstairs to the offices. The squad room was strangely empty when they came through the door. Instead of the hurly-burly that she was accustomed to, there were only members of Finn's elite strike team working there, fielding phone-calls and dispatching others of their kind. "Had to lock the other dudes up," said Finn. "I didn't know who I could trust. Spike was dirty, Peebles. He was workin' for Cherry the whole time." Bonnie flushed. She'd suggested Finn recruit the detective when she'd learned of all the crimes he had solved. "She sure had us fooled," sighed Bonnie. "Me most of all."

As they reached the center of the squad room, the door to Finn's office came open, and her son came out with his older brother right on his tail. "Mom," breathed Boniface Bubblegum. The tall candy-person came rushing across the room. Throwing his long arms around his mother's shoulders, he hugged her hard as he could. Billy came up alongside them, and his eyes were haunted as he looked his father in the eye. "Dad," he burbled. "Dad, JJ tried to kill mom..." Finn could _hear_ the heartbreak in his voice. Turning to the leader of the Heavy Boys, he said, "put together a team to go arrest Jake Junior..." Billy shoved past him, saying, "I'm'a do that myself."

Finn caught him by the arm and stopped him. "Billy," he said, "this can't end well. Don't do this. Let somebody without emotional attachment do it." Billy shoved his hands away, snarling, "like _you_ did?" Star had told him all about Cherry and exactly what had been going on with his father these last few months–why he was never home. He'd been with _her_. "Yeah," said Finn, "I'm not saying I did the right thing, Bill, but I'm offering you a chance to get it right." Billy kept walking. When Star would have followed, Finn stopped her. Billy needed to do this his way, and it would only make him resent _her_ if she interfered. _Let it just be me,_ thought the big man. _Glob let him just hate_ me _and no-one else._

Not long after Billy had gone, four familiar faces came rushing through the door. Simone and Huntress almost tackled Finn there in the middle of the squad room, wrapping their arms around him and squeezing him tight. As Bonnie watched, a little saddened that it wasn't _her_ getting to do that, her son slipped his arms around her shoulder and hugged her.

 _I still have our kids,_ thought the Princess. Things were better than they'd ever been. They were out of the closet, with nothing to hide. Boniface and Shoko were getting to know their dad–really know him–and their brothers and sisters. She had finally achieved a kind of closure with Finn, letting them both move on with their lives, and even if there was somebody else sharing his bed, Bonnie was content. She now no longer had to carry everything herself. She had Shoko and Boniface to help her and, if something ever happened to her, she had somebody who could carry on her work. Things were going to be tough with the Spoon of Plenty out of commission, but she thought she could swing this.


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 55:

The door splintered like it was rotten, scattering shards of wood across the room. Billy Mertens strode in with a sword in one hand, and an ugly expression on his face. His eyes took in the sights in a single glance, finding his wife of just one month in the middle of a frantic packing job. She'd claimed she had it down to a science, but the whole room looked kicked over, like chaos given rein, with clothes scattered across the floor and bits and baubles she'd collected piled in a corner. Slicking back her hair, Junior stood up from the suitcase she'd been stuffing and said, "hey, babe." By her tone, you would never have guessed she'd just been caught at high-treason. When Billy's eyes flicked to the pile in the corner, she said, "I couldn't leave it. It's all the stuff you gave me..."

"You're coming with me, JJ," rumbled Billy. "Caught, huh," she sighed? Billy went in his pocket and drew his cuffs. He threw them on the floor at her feet. "Gonna' bang me one last time," she teased? The human hero blushed to his hair, but he said, "put them on, JJ. Don't make me use force." "I'm not going with you, Bill," the shapechanger replied. "Force then," said he, as he stepped towards her. Shaking her head, she said, "this kingdom isn't ours, Bill. This place... it doesn't belong to us. This isn't the kingdom of the humans. It isn't the kingdom of the dogs either. Let's... let's leave this place. Go abroad like we were talking about. I know places we can go. I know people..."

Shaking his head, Billy retorted, "I can't follow you into whatever hole you want to crawl into, JJ. Put the cuffs on. Don't make this worse." Shaking her head, voice going deeper, she said, "you always have to fucking play it this way!" Lashing out with her arms, she slashed at him, cutting him across his chest and forearms as he backpedaled to get away. Stalking towards him, the shapechanger said, "we were good together. You just had to let go of this fucking hero-bullshit! What did it ever get your dad, huh?! What did it get my dad?! He's a broken down old man living by himself!" She lashed out again, and Billy tried to defend himself with his blade, but she was fucking _fast_. Her malleable flesh seemed almost to _flow_ around his weapon, so that no matter how he tried to slash and hack at her, one of her arms got through and slashed him instead.

She heckled him in that deep, menacing voice, telling him how pathetic he was. He didn't really stand a chance against her. His father had never won a fight against her dad, and they weren't any different. "JJ," he shouted. "Fucking stop it! Stop it right now!" "Or _what_ ," laughed the shapechanger?! "You'll swing your sword at me?!" That made her laugh all the harder. That pissed him off. This time when she swung at him, he caught her hand and pulled as hard as he could. He was strong–shockingly strong–and Junior weighed ninety-eight pounds soaking wet. He jerked her straight off her feet, sending her flying. Billy met her in mid air with a boot to the face that sent her flying back over the bed.

Shaking that off, voice somewhat returned to normal, JJ said, "fuck that hurt. You didn't fucking have to kick me in the face, Billy!" Billy was angry now, and he shouted, "it's all a big fucking game to you! This whole thing's been a big fucking game! You gamed my whole family. Star. Fionna. Even me! Tell me, JJ, were you really even pregnant, or was that just a lie too?" "Yeah, Bill," retorted Junior. "I am. I still am. Three of 'em. Your own litter of pups." Pups he wouldn't get to see now.

He didn't quite believe her. "You fucking lie about everything," he growled! "Everything's a scam with you." "Oh, yeah," she shot back, "I was scamming you when I let you take me that first time!" Shrilly, she declared, "you were my _first_ , Billy! You don't think that means anything to me!" "Then why the fuck are you doing this," demanded the hero?! "You're destroying everything! For what?!" "You act like I can help it, Bill," muttered the shapechanger. "You don't have any idea what it's like. There's... There's a darkness in me. It's always been there. It always wants me to do... things."

Billy stood there a moment absorbing that. After a moment, he said, "we'll get you help, baby. Just let me get you some help." In that demonic voice, she laughed. Shaking her head, she said, "do you know who my grandmother _really_ was, Bill? A fucking monster. I heard it from uncle Jermaine. A monster bit by grand-dad and my pops sprang out of the wound. I'm tainted, Billy. I got a full dose of monster DNA." Sobbing, voice somewhere near normal, Junior said, "you can't save me, baby. I'm not saveable." Walking towards her, Billy said, "you were right before, honey. We work good together. Let me help you..."

Junior shoved him into the wall, saying, "you can't save me, Bill. I'm _evil_ , baby. I can't help it. I'm evil inside. Twisted. I-I shouldn't have taken us down this road." "Please, baby," said Billy. "Let me help... For our kids..." " _Enough_ ," howled Junior in that awful voice. As Billy struggled, she said, "ya shoulda' left when you had the chance, Bill..." As he watched, a sharpened bone spike appeared above her shoulder. He gasped as he recognized the strange bony protrusion that jutted out of the end of her spine. A detached corner of his mind realized that her powers were stronger than he'd ever guessed. She was as good as her dad. Maybe better.

"I'll do it quick, honey," chittered the shapechanger. "Close your eyes." Billy pleaded with her, reminding her of their kids. "What'll they think of you," he asked? "What'll you tell them? That you murdered their dad?" Pinning his arms above his head, the shapechanger leaned in close, whispering, "I'm gonna' raise 'em good, Bill. I'm gonna' tell them all about their dad. All about what a hero you were." She smiled at him. It was an evil, evil smile, and he realized that she wasn't lieing about one thing. There was a darkness inside her. He couldn't imagine how he could have missed that. Junior was still talking, telling him about how she would raise their babies. Far from here. She was going to go to the Jungle Kingdom like they'd talked about and lose herself there.

Bill growled, "they'd still be dealing with _you_!" Drawing a deep breath, he blew a burst of frigid air in her face, stinging her skin with shards of ice. Flinching back, she let go of him, and Billy punched her square in the jaw, sending her flying back. "How the fuck did you do that," howled the shapechanger? Chill air wafting up from his nostrils, Billy shrugged, "my mom was under the control of the Ice-Tiara the whole time she was pregnant with me. You didn't think I'd get through that unchanged, did you?" "I guess you had secrets too," Junior chuckled.

It was on then, as Billy conjured bolts of jagged ice, hurling them at his wife, as Junior found that maybe he _could_ score on her. One or two of those jagged shards tore her right thigh and sliced along her ribcage on the left side, leaving her bleeding and back-pedaling before him. Billy wasn't quite ready to kill her yet, though. He focused most of his effort on boxing her in and binding her up with blocks of ice. His wife twisted and turned, flowing through all of that until the moment when he finally managed to corral her, sealing her torso in ice and quite literally stopping her cold.

Grimly, Billy closed in on her, saying, "that's it, JJ. We're going to take you down to Guard HQ. We can put you in a comfortable holding cell. I-I'll have Dr. Princess look at your case. Maybe we can get you some meds..." "Nah," Junior laughed. Focusing her will, she teleported clean out of the block, appearing beside him. Billy, who'd _felt_ her somehow gathering energy, barely managed to duck to avoid her fist materializing inside his head. She still managed to clock him hard enough to knock him down. Now she went full out, her claws and stinger slashing at him, cutting his legs and slashing his forearms to ribbons until he was bleeding all over the floor.

As he backpedaled before his wife, doing his best not to let that sharp bone spike cut his innards out, he knew a stark terror and a moment's crystal despair. JJ wasn't going to stop. Whatever was wrong with her–whatever demon was inside her–she just wasn't going to stop until she'd killed him. In that moment of darkness he found himself faced with one stark choice. Pups or no, he would lose this fight if he kept holding back. He'd hoped there was something there to save. He'd really hoped that he wouldn't have to do this, but he couldn't leave this madwoman to raise their children on her own. Focusing his mind on a point deep inside her chest, Billy conjured a shard of ice.

Still hesitant to kill the woman he loved, he conjured one jagged sliver, just an inch long. He knew he'd gone wrong almost instantly. JJ collapsed, clutching at her chest. He'd been aiming for a lung, something to slow her down, but he was no doctor. He didn't understand anatomy. Junior could feel the blood spurting into her lung, and she clutched her chest in terror. Billy ran up to his fiancé and gathered her up. "I-I'm sorry, Billy," she wheezed. Foamy red blood spattered her lips when she coughed. "Baby, I tried," she sobbed. "I tried so hard." "I know you did," Billy whimpered. "I'm dieing, honey," she wheezed. "Stay with me, JJ," pleaded Billy. The shape-changer smiled. "It's ok, babe," she wheezed. "I'm free... I-I'm free, Bill..." Her hand came up and stroked his face. "I love you, Billy...," she wheezed. "See you on the other side..."


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 56:

He looked well, all things considered, but then she imagined she looked well for having had her arm chopped off at the elbow. She hadn't wanted to have this meeting _here_. She'd been hoping to be out of the hospital by now and back at her duties at the palace. She had a whole lot of work to catch up on and a lot of living to do. More to the point, she knew that, deep under all that teen-angst and anger, her brother was a sensitive young man, and the last thing he needed was this ugly reminder of what he'd been forced to do to his own sister. Unfortunately, complications and her mother's failed attempts to restore her arm had kept Shoko here well past her sell-by date.

As Shoko watched him, Marshall-Lee bustled around the hospital room, putting the flowers he'd brought in a vase and then filling the vase with water. He was dressed in a dapper suit in a charcoal color that ran to black in the light of the hospital. A string tie held in place by a garishly white bone clip hung about his neck, seeming to emphasize the unpleasant change that had come over him. Coming back to her bedside, he put the vase on the side-table before settling above the visitor's chair. "So," said he, "how's my old girlfriend doing?" Shoko chuckled, "not bad, ex-boyfriend." Smiling, the rogue teased her, "probably a good thing we found out..." "Oh," chuckled Shoko? "You think I couldn't have resisted letting you in my panties?" "'Course not," laughed the vampire. "Girls can't resist my charm..."

The two spent a while laughing about that. Still, there was an elephant in the room, and they both knew it. With a sigh, Marshall-Lee asked the question that had brought him, "how's your..." "The graft didn't take," sighed Shoko. "I'm... I'm more human than my mother." The normal process of grafting candy-flesh didn't work for Shoko. She had too much of Finn in her. It appeared that she was destined to be short an arm the rest of her life. Marshall's face curled up in a look of pure anguish. Smiling, Shoko raised her new bionic arm, saying, "I'm gonna' be ok, big-brother." Rubbing the fingertips together, she said, "it's just as good as my real one, and mom even managed to make the skin feel like candy-flesh."

It was obvious that this was still killing her brother. Changing the subject, Shoko asked, "how's your mother?" "Better," replied Marshall. "She's... I think this has actually been good for her. She's... She's going on tour again." "Marshall, that's great," cried Shoko! Marshall nodded. He was still bothered by all of this. Shoko reached out and took his hand–his _cold_ hand. "How're you," she murmured. "Learning to live with it," sighed Marshall. He missed the sun. He missed having the sun on his face. He was stronger. He was faster, and he could go for weeks with only the taste of 'red' as sustenance. But he missed the sun on his face, and he always would.

"Well, then," said Shoko, "I'll be sure and schedule the wedding for night-time." Marshall glanced up into her beautiful blue eyes. "Randy proposed," chuckled Shoko. "Shoko, that's... I'm...," stammered Marshall. Raising her arm, Shoko said, "it forced him off the fence. He was... He was afraid of how things would work between us. We've still got a ways to go. Mom won't let us get married until I'm twenty-one. That gives us time to figure out the whole 'can't touch each other' thing." Marshall took his sister's hand and gave it a squeeze, saying, "I'm glad for you... _Hey!_ Bubblebutt bones the princess of the Breakfast Kingdom and knocks her up, but you have to _wait_?!" That had Shoko howling laughter. As Marshall listened in disbelief, Shoko told him about her mother's twisted plan to make sure Fionna and Bubba moved on.

"Wow," burbled the Vampire Prince. Her mom seemed as though she would never change. Taken with a sudden epiphany, Marshall asked, "does he know?" Nodding, Shoko said, "Finn insisted. He made us all sit down together... Here in my room, actually... Everybody was forced to 'fess up. He made us all tell every secret we'd ever kept from each other. Every last one." They had told each other about everything–from Shoko's occasional attempts to sneak liquor and wine to Fionna's flashing her boobies at the losers on wizard's row to Star's various schemes at making quick cash. Bon had been forced to admit to going to adult theaters to learn about sex on some of those nights where he'd been _studying_ , and most shocking of all, Billy had revealed his strange connection to the Ice-Tiara.

Nor had the adults gotten spared.

Emeraude had come clean about the ugly life she'd led, telling all of the kids about how she'd become so infamous in the underworld. Simone had told about the temptations she _still_ felt to go and find the Ice Tiara. Bonnibel Bubblegum had been forced to lay out all the ugly manipulation she'd done on her friends and family the last seventeen years and more–everything from breaking up Finn and Phoebe to her most recent ploy of drugging Bon and Frenchie to fall in love. Bon had taken the whole business in stride. He'd known going in that his mother wanted him to marry Frenchie, and he had no problem loving her and their child.

And Finn? He'd been forced to tell his family about their newest relation. He'd gone into shocking detail about how things had been with Cherry–and how he'd come to love her in truth. Marshall was on his feet when those words came out. He'd been tempted these last weeks to slip into the prison where that cunt was locked up and drain the life out of her. The only thing that had stopped him was the fact that he had the barest of control right now. His mother had done her best in the months they'd been in hiding, but Marshall knew he was one slip up away from losing himself to darkness permanently. Now to find out his dad _fell_ for the bitch that caused all this?!

"And what would _you_ have done, Marshy," murmured Shoko? Marshall flushed. He could barely control his bloodlust. His emotions were a raggedy _mess_ , and he still somehow had to deal with Connie, who'd been leaving him endless text messages and voice-mails. If he were at all honest with himself, he wouldn't have done any better, and likely he would have completely lost himself in Cherry's charms. "We have a little brother," sighed Shoko. "Nobody's happy about this, Marshy. Not my moms. Not dad. I've sworn that I won't take it out on him because he's going to need all the love we can give him, and all the rest of us swore the same thing." Marshall nodded, but he was clearly unhappy. Changing the subject, he asked, "when can you go? I... I want to take you to dinner. I want to make amends... And maybe meet Randy..." Smiling primly, the beautiful princess said, "we'll meet on Sunday." Marshall nodded. He was looking forward to it.

Elsewhere, the object of that unpleasant conversation came walking into the visitor's room of Jellyet Prison under heavy guard. Cherry Cream Soda, the Boss of Bosses, had pride of place here. It was funny in a way. She had her own exclusive prison. Besides her, there were only a handful of old trustees left here. Finn had kept his word. He hadn't allowed Bonnie to just kill her out of hand, though Cherry feared a lot of that was due to the baby in her middle. There were moments where she truly expected them to just come down, put her to sleep, and harvest the baby right out of her belly. She was far enough along that he might survive it.

Still, like clockwork, Dr. Princess came and looked in on her, flying out from the Candy Kingdom's hospital to examine her. And like clockwork, Finn would show up either that same day or early the next to look in on her. She didn't understand why he kept coming to see her. Once a week, he stopped in at the Candy Kingdom's forgotten prison. Just like a typically happy father, Finn the Human was there for every stage of their child's development–every exam, every test. It got to the point that Cherry would have told him to go fuck himself. She would have if she had at all been able to manage this by herself. She wasn't ashamed to say that she _clung_ to Finn when the moments got scary.

Things were very scary right now.

She was seven-months along, and she was absolutely _huge_. She had always been petite–barely four-and-a-half feet tall–and it now seemed rather rash to have gotten herself pregnant by six-foot-seven Finn Mertens. It helped not at all that her child was a hybrid of human and candy-person DNA. She wasn't Bonnibel Bubblegum, who was close enough to human that she probably could have walked down a street in the distant past and not stood out at all. She was one of the Candy Monarch's created, and that was a horse of a different color.

The tests were... _odd_. The doctors hardly knew what to do with her son's vital signs. They really didn't know if he was going to live or die–even if he would be whole when he was born. Cherry was getting a bit sick of hearing, 'I don't know.' She spent a lot of time laying awake, thinking–praying to Glob really. When she wasn't doing that, she was thinking of might-have-beens. She fantasized about what might have happened if Finn _had_ tried to get in her pants–of how things _might_ have gone.

The reality was that she had been so distraught–so lost in her grief–that she would have been insulted and infuriated to have some stupid teenager come on to her. She might well have tried to shoot him or cut his balls off. Now all she had was her failure, a death-sentence, and her terror for the child in her middle.

On his side, Finn could tell Cherry was in a bad way when he came in the door. She didn't look _sexy_ today. She looked _afraid_. "You ok," he asked? Lost in her pain and terror, Cherry lit into him, shouting, "why the fuck do _you_ care?! You locked me in this fucking place! You're going to kill me when this fucking kid is born, so let's just stop pretending, shall we!" Finn stared at her. Jabbing him in the chest, she said, "you fooled me! You conned the con-artist! Happy?! I fucking believed you loved me!"

Finn let her vent. He understood it. He understood how she felt. It was the same way he would have felt in her place. He didn't enjoy tricking her. He wasn't happy she was pregnant. He felt like he had taken something from her–something far beyond what she owed for her crimes. At the same time, she was alone and afraid, and she didn't have anybody else. Gathering her into his arms, he held her, as she struggled and cursed him–and then held her all the harder when she broke down and began to cry.

Cherry sobbed into his chest, bawling her eyes out as she gave vent to her fear. "It's ok," he said. "I'm gonna' be here with you..." "Why," she sobbed? "Why now? You got fucking Bonnie Bubblegum back..." "You were my friend," sighed Finn. "RBG was my friend. He... he didn't deserve that, and you deserved better than what we gave you. I can't fix the past, but I'm gonna' to take care of you now..." What was he saying? Did he...? "You're still naive," chuckled Cherry. "She's going to kill me the first chance she gets." Chuckling himself, Finn stroked her hair and said, "I haven't had the chance to be naive in a while. E cured me of the habit."

He took her face in his hands and drew her eyes up to his. "I'll bring our boy by every chance I get," said he. "It won't be like having the three of us together, but it's..." "...the best you can do," she sighed. "You are an annoying, goody-two-shoes, Finn the Human. Do you realize that we could have controlled the world?" Finn grinned and laughed. He didn't want the world. He just wanted to be happy in his little piece of it. Drawing his face down to hers, Cherry kissed him. Finn ran his fingers through her long, white hair. She was in love with him. It was pointless to pretend otherwise.

Breaking that kiss, the little woman sighed breathily. The magic was still there. Hungry, she went back for another and then another after that, wishing she could have sex with him. The doctor had made that off limits, though. She was too far gone. She was pondering asking him if he would go down on her. She was a little horny, and she knew he would do it if she asked. The sudden sharp pain in her middle put paid to that ambition.

One moment she was standing there, rubbing that hot little body against him. The next, she was on the floor, writing in pain. Finn dropped to his knees, shouting for the guard as he snatched Cherry off the floor. "Baby, what's wrong," he pleaded? "Finn," she shrieked! "I think... I think I'm havin'... I think I'm havin' a miscarriage!" The guards came fast. They were never far away from the prison's star prisoner. There were a lot of gangsters out there still, and the Candy Kingdom's underworld was still very much alive. Finn scooped up his evil girlfriend and rushed for the helicopter that had brought him here.

Finn found himself cradling Bonnie's mortal enemy in his arms once again as the helicopter hurtled across the sky. He held Cherry in his arms and whispered words of encouragement. She was bleeding a little, and her pants were soaking wet. Finn had no idea what to do, so he just sat there holding his girl and praying that they could reach the hospital in time. He wanted to get to know his boy, and he wanted to protect Rootbeer's wife. At the same time, he was utterly helpless to do anything in a situation that didn't involve smashing someone's face in.

Drew Princess was waiting on them with a full emergency team the moment the helicopter landed, and the little candy-person got rushed to the operating room almost as soon as the door got opened. Finn followed along behind, giving Drew all the information he had. It seemed far too little, and Finn was terrified of what it all meant. Somehow though, it seemed to be just what Dr. P needed. She left him to go get scrubbed up.

Cherry found herself sedated as she watched the lights in the hallway go by. Strong hands stripped her of pretty much every stitch she was wearing–ugly orange jumpsuit, cheap linen bra, and cheap nylon panties to boot. They even took her socks. The moment might have been completely terrifying if not for the drugs coursing through her veins–and the sight of a few familiar faces. She'd helped one of the doctors there with a malpractice case in a long-ago life. She'd kept one of the nurses from losing her license. After they wheeled her into the operating room, she got transferred to the table. Her legs got put in the stirrups, and the doctors got to work doing what they could to save her life and that of her child.

Plaintively, Cherry called out, "Finn..." Taking her hand, he said, "here, babe." The little woman relaxed into the table. Her first baby, and she was here with an armed guard outside the door and the Captain of the Guard waiting to re-arrest her the minute the job was done. At the same time, the Captain continued to hold her hand as drugs got administered and the doctor prepared to deliver the baby by C-Section. Specialists were on hand to put the preemie into an incubation chamber and whisk him to the ICU.

Catching sight of Drew Princess, the gangster-girl asked, "what's... why's this happening?" Drew calmly replied, "I'd be lieing if I said I know, Ms. Soda. Unfortunately, I could only speculate that it's something to do with the baby's genetics. For right now, why don't we just focus on saving your lives? Hmm?" Cherry chuckled. That was rich. They were saving her life for Bonnie Bubblegum to take it. It was probable that she'd never leave this hospital alive.

Finn stood there patiently, holding her hand through all the ugly bits. His whispered words of encouragement helped her get through the moments of pain and terror. Drew Princess brought the child, in his incubator box, to their side. "He's alive," she murmured. "His heart's beating, but his lungs don't seem fully developed. Other than that, he's got all four limbs and all his fingers and toes." He was beautiful, with honey-colored hair and skin and sparkling gold-hued eyes. "Name him, honey," murmured Cherry. "Name our boy." Finn pondered that a moment, his eyes taking in all the strange similarities between the boy and his mother including that strangely liquid-looking flesh. "Vanilla Cream Soda," Finn blurted. "Van for short." Cherry chuckled and gave his hand a squeeze. "Don't ever forget me, Finn," she sighed. "Don't let our boy forget." " _We_ won't," said Drew. "And I'll have him out with me to see you just as soon as he's able." They were both naive. Cherry said nothing more as they were both wheeled away–she to the recovery room and her son to the ICU.


	57. Epilogue

Epilogue:

Finn awoke in a cold sweat. Something was wrong. He could feel it. Turning to his left, he found Simone at his side, just as she'd always been. Turning to his right, he found Emeraude. Both were sound asleep. _So what woke me,_ he thought. Rising, he carefully slipped out of bed. Standing there in his boxer-briefs, he listened intently to the sounds of his house. After a minute of straining with his ears, he finally heard it. His phone was ringing.

Finn went downstairs to the kitchen where he'd left his phone. Star poked her head out as he came off the stairs. "Dad," she croaked. "I got it," Finn sighed. Star was the only one of his kids still home. Fionna had moved out and dropped out of high-school. Neither Simone nor E were happy about that. Fionna hadn't given them any choice in the matter, though. Nor were Simon and Betty exactly thrilled. Fionna and Patrick were quitting school together. Patrick had given his parents some half-assed promise that someday he would go to college. Right now he was going off on the adventure of a lifetime with his new girlfriend. It was only her suddenly-close relationship with Simone that kept Betty from tearing Fionna a new asshole on the spot. In the end, Fionna got her way. They'd set off in Fionna's truck, months ago, and neither had been seen since.

Star turned and went back to bed. She was burning the midnight oil now, working part-time with the Banana Guard and going to school to get every class she could. She aimed to graduate early, blaze a trail through college in two years, and move on with her life. Finn worried about her sometimes when he saw splotches under his daughter's eyes from her not sleeping. In the now, though he picked up his phone to find Billy's number there.

His lieutenant was a bit of a mess too. He spent his days sleeping in Jake Junior's old apartment. He worked nights just to avoid his father. Finn had been trying to have a reconciliation with him. He'd been desperate to get them through this. Billy refused to even allow the matter to come up when they were in each other's presence. Flicking the phone open, Finn called out, "go."

"She's gone," growled Billy. Frowning, Finn replied, "who?" "She fucking cut the nurse's throat," snarled the younger man. "She's gone. She's completely gone." "Who's gone, Bill," snapped Finn?! "You're not making sense!" "Cherry Cream Soda escaped," Billy rumbled. "She escaped from the hospital tonight. We don't know how long she's been gone or what kind of head-start she has. You and moms will have to be careful." Billy hung up just like that. Finn felt a chill of cold fear go down his spine as he let the phone drop to his side. What the fuck were they going to do now? And what was he going to tell Bonnie?

 **I thought about splitting this update in two and dragging this out one more week, but decided it was better to just polish things off. So now the heroes are home, Finn's newest child has been born, and the Mertens clan is trying to put their respective lives back together. Did a lot of soul-searching on Junior's suicide-by-cop and decided that there really wasn't any way that Billy and Junior could be a couple again. The trust was gone, especially with all of Billy's efforts to defend her against his parents' suspicions. So now the question becomes: what happened to Cherry? Well, you'll have to read the next story, The Lich Awakens, to find out.**


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